by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs
It's EIGHTY-SEVEN degrees in my apartment. Wahhhh wah wah wah wah wah
TV-PG-DLV - WCW logo - c'mon baby, light my fire
"Highlights" from Nitro
It's - a limo! Who's in it? It's...the Cat! It's Vince Russo, Jeff
Jarrett, David Flair, and R&B Security, who report that "the REAL cops
don't want to be involved in any of your games." Russo (wearing a shirt
with "3-0" on it) tells Security that they better be on the ball, 'cause
tonight's gonna be dangerous...we linger on this shot, then zoom in on
another arriving car...and coming out of IT is Kevin Nash. He's wearing an
"Outsiders" tank top. And so...it begins again...
Opening Credits
Shoot off that pyro - on tape from the Norfolk Scope in Norfolk, VA on Flag
Day 2K (taped 13.6) - and THIS portion of WCW Thunder is brought to you by
Western Union Money Transfer!
Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE, MIKE TENAY & NOT BOBBY HEENAN. Get the ga
ga out of the way, it's time for ACTION!
Check that - it's time for VIC VENOM to come out and say a few words. Good
Lord, the commentators are STILL talking. Russo's entrance music goes on
and one...ah, there he is. Accompanied by DAVID FLAIR (wearing a lock of
his father's hair around his neck), the NEW GODFATHER OF SOUL, R&B
SECURITY. Bringing up the rear is JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET, lest we
forget about the guy with the title...oops, just did. Russo's "3-0" shirt
has "WITH 2 SHAVED HEADS" on the back. Russo requests no riots
tonight,then hands the mic to Jarrett. "Billy Kidman - you little
backstabbing slapnut! You got what you deserve when Goldberg flattened you
on Nitro, but I still can't believe you have the nerve to try and cost the
Chosen One the WCW title. So Billy Kidman, tonight I'm gonna finish what
Goldberg started, 'cause I'm gonna take a chunk outta your (ass) boy. And
as far as Hollywood Hogan goes, he's gonna get his title shot at Bash at
the Beach, 'cause I AM a fighting champion. Hell, who else can say they
beat Nash AND Hogan in consecutive nights? That's right, my little
slapasses, only the Chosen One can say that. So Hollywood, get your old
decrepit (ass) behind that wheelchair and roll it to the ring and get ready
- because you're gonna be no different that Nash, Sting, Flair, the list
goes on and on and one. I'm gettin' the 1-2-3 on Hollywood." "Settle down
inbreds, settle down. David - center stage. You know what? Ya said it
couldn't be done! Me and my son stuck it straight where the sun doesn't
shine to you people...because we retired Ric Flair! He's done! And to
boot - we shaved his head clean! We did it, David, we did it." Let
Us Take You Back to Monday where they shaved his head clean. Sign in
crowd: "HEENAN ON NITRO = HIGHER RATINGS" Russo brags about he and David
being the first ones in 28 years to shave Ric's head. We cut to Goldberg
taking out Nash and Russo goes wild over that. Russo says he's had a
change of heart, and he's bringing back Ric Flair tonight...then he
produces a Mr. Potato Head. "But gettin' back to Big Dopey..." Russo
points out that Goldberg beat up on Nash in front of his own nephew. "Now
what kind of man would stoop so low?" "A dead man!" "Theme From Wolfpac"
leads out KEVIN NASH, who is interrupting the proceedings. Russo corrals
the Security force in front of the ring, as if that'll help things. Nash
is carrying a bat. "You know something, Russo? Your (ass) is mine
tonight. Originally, I was gonna come down there and take this foot, turn
it sideways..." Crowd: "...and stick it straight up your candyass!"
"...and shove it (up your ass)...the thing is, shut your mouth! The thing
is, since I broke my ankle, I can't turn it sideways, so what I'm gonna do
is take this bat, shine it up, come down and stick it (up your ass)."
Russo repeatedly says "Goldberg's on his way, Nash" as Nash runs through
the swiss cheese that is R&B Security. Tony (as Russo stands next to him):
"Where'd Vince Russo go?" Nash in the ring, where Flair and Cat quickly go
down to the might bat. Russo and Jarrett take off through the crowd - and
Nash goes after them. Awhoooo!
When we come back, Russo is on his cel phone wondering where Bischoff &
Goldberg are. They're coming soon, honest! Russo asks his friends to
stick together. Jarrett says he's got a match and walks off. Cat says
he's got some commissionering to do and walks off. Flair says he's got
some personal things to take care of and walks off. Nash's voice cries out
"Viiii-iiiince..." and Russo...hides.
KRONYKK are out. Let Us Take You Back to Sunday where Kronic defeated the
Mamalukes to become #1 Contenders. Adams: "You know, the biggest joke in
WCW right now is how Kronic lost the tag team titles to Stasiak & Palumbo -
by disqualification. That's all right, we played the game, we went to the
pay-per-view, and we won the match to be #1 Contenders - we're still
playing the game, but the game's over, Russo - so send your paper champions
out here RIGHT NOW for the butt kickin' of their lives, or we'll come back
and get 'em!" But it's CHRIS CANDIDO out. "Hold on - hold on there, big
guy. You're just like everybody else back there - want, want, want - well
I got wants too! And I'm tired of being pushed around - so I made a call
to an old Jersey friend - and hey, you guys want a fight? You got it!"
Who is it?
KRONYKK v. CHRIS CANDIDO & TRIPPA B - Should we call them the Double
Threat? Giant heat segment on Candido, culminating in High Times (with
audible count to three beforehand) - Candido pinned by Adams with Bigelow
never even getting in the ring. (2:31) Post-match, Bigelow decides to try
to earn his money tonight and attacks both men - even battle (hmm, maybe HE
should have started for his team) until SECURITY comes out to separate the
three men. Wow, what an impressive debut for the team of Candido & Bigelow!
Backstage, Russo paces around - then runs for his limo...only to find the
tires slashed.
Let's play a game tonight - try to guess how many segments of tonight's
show WON'T have Russo. We can call it "Who's the mark?"
Let us take you back to Monday where Big Vito got the blessing of
Terry Funk after piledriving him through a table.
Both MAMALUKES hit the ring - Vito: "Finally WCW has its next Italian
superstar! Monday night, I became a made man - somebody for you people to
cheer - somebody for you people to love and honour!" Vito promises to be a
fighting champion who don't sweat nobody. Vito proudly proclaims his
Staten Island heritage.
I GET LETTERS: Tom writes: During the latest debacle that is Nitro,
Tony talked of how Big Vito was in several gangs growing up in Staten
Island. Now, I'm 22 and lived here basically my whole life. There are NO
gangs. This is white suburbia at its finest. The closest thing we have to
a gang is the Wu Tang Clan! There are no " mean streets. " No " gang
warfare. " You want danger, go visit the Fresh Kills Landfill, the biggest
garbage dump in the world. Thanks for your time.
Vito turns to John and asks him how he feels about that. Johnny asks Vito
why HE didn't get the shot. Vito tells Johnny he wants him to wear the
belt because... "I love you." Johnny doesn't know how to react to Vito
wrapping the belt around his waist. Crowd - doesn't seem to care much.
And now Vito whacks Johnny with a kendo stick. Ummm...WHAT A SWERVE!!!!!!!!
BIG VITO v. JOHNNY "THE BULL" for the Hardcore title - Johnny wastes little
time setting up a table at ringside, then gets back in the room to continue
working over his tag team partner with the kendo stick - then breaks a cane
over his back. Onto the camera position off the apron....JUMPING DDT
THROUGH THE TABLE! Hmm, I guess this isn't a match as there's no ref to
count a pinfall - but they WOULD have...so let's be generous and call it a
match and around (1:00) "Theme from Wolfpac" fires up and out comes KEVIN
NASH. One bat shot and suddenly, the previous bit attempting to build up
Vito is COMPLETELY wiped out as Vito goes down - HARD. Oh well. Next!
"Hey Russo! Just wanted to let you know...I'm still lookin' for ya." Too
bad Nash doesn't have an in with the camera crew...
...'cause we cut to a shot of Russo watching a monitor. "He's gonna kill
me! He's gonna kill me..."
Oh man, so CLOSE. But no - Russo JUST made that last segment.
GTV - I mean "surveillance tape" - catches David Flair and Miss Handcock
sharing a special moment
Let Us Take You Back to Monday where Franchise turned on Bagwell
THE FRANCHISE hits the ring to swear for a few minutes. "Buff Daddy
Bagwell - hahaha! You probably got a few things going through that thick
skull of yours right now. Like, one...man does my head hurt from those
brass knuckles. Like, two...why did my partner knock me senseless on
Nitro? Well I'm gonna tell you, Buff, and I'm gonna shoot it straight -
'cause that's what a Franchise does. Thirty plus days ago, Buff Daddy
Bagwell, you and I had one hell of a lot of contracts signed. We had a
hell of a lot of obligations. And you, Buff Daddy Bagwell, decided that
you wanted to play tough guy in the back. Got yourself into a little
trouble, and you left the Franchise hangin' high and dry! Well, Buff, let
me clarify a few things for you my friend - PARTNER. The Franchise held up
his end of the bargain. The only time, Buff, that you were on the top of
the heap here in WCW is when you stood side-by-side with Yours Truly, the
Franchise, and these people know it. Now Buff...as of Monday night, like a
lot of other people here in WCW, you'll now know why, just like these
people know, the meaning of the saying 'you just got your ass Franchised.'
Hahaha. The fact of the matter is this - you people can say a lot of--"
but BUFF DADDY BAGWELL hits the ring and starts laying in the punches.
Well here comes CHRIS CANDIDO - and here's TRIPPA B - I guess the Triple
Threat is official now. Tripleteam beatdown is short-lived as KRONYKK hits
the ring again and if I could get Katie to bar the door, I think we could
proclaim this a Pier Six brawl. Good guys clear the ring of evil guys.
Must be a sweet gig to come back from a thirty day suspension with a
monster face push, eh?
Outside, we see Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner pull up on motorcycles
We cut to Edge & Christian - sorry, Palumbo & Stasiak - poking some fun at
the picture on their monitor. Only problem is, that must have been a taped
picture because Steiner & Abbott are standing right behind them - and
quickly leave them laying. Abbott: "That's the magic of videotape, boys -
that was taped two hours ago!" Hey, that's THREE champions laid out
tonight.
Jimmy Barron phones it in with 1-800-CAL-LATT. Nitro hits Montana
'cause they're running out of markets they haven't killed yet!
Hey! No Russo in that last segment! Wahoo!
No wrestling, either, though. Damn, it's always SOMETHING with this show...
Whew! My Russo withdrawl is saved as Cat catches up to Russo and
apologises...then promises not to leave his side tonight. A second limo
pulls up - Cat opens the door to greet Bischoff and Goldberg - oops, must
not be them as Cat runs off - Russo looks over to see Scott Steiner exit.
Russo decides it's faster to climb over trucks than run around them - see,
it's FUNNY! I guess
"POSITIVELY" KANYON & "WCW IS A CAREER KILLER" AWESOME MULLET hit the ring
to Page's music - Kanyon is wearing a blonde wig and doing a rather
formidable parody of Page's BANG. "GOOD GAWWWWD!!! Bro, I'm feeling real
POSITIVE tonight. So POSITIVE I'm willing to team up with the guy that
tried to kill me." Crowd shot. "Bottom line is...I'm gonna be signing my
new book...Positively Kanyon...this Friday in Padooka, Kentucky,
with my co-author...Smoky Robinson, and of course Smokey the Bear. Then,
on Monday, I'm gonna be on Craig Kilborne with my good buddy, my friend, my
pal, the hip, the current, Jon Bon Jovi. So, tune in - ba-da-bing,
ba-da-boom, ba-da-BANG." Awesome asks for the fans to shut their mouths
and let him talk. "The Awesome One" has a bit of trouble stumbling over
"jabrones" but requests someone with the spauldings to come out (except
Scott Steiner, please).
POSITIVELY KANYON & AWESOME MULLET v. JOBBED TO DAVID ARQUETTE & RICK WOOF
WOOF - Aren't all these guys on the same side? Wait...aren't Rick and Tank
having problems since Sunday, when in the Asylum...oh, no, wait, they were
friends again by the end of the show, weren't they. I'm gonna go out on a
limb and guess that the end will see Kevin Nash come out and take out all
four men singlehandedly. Ooh, ooh, no wait! This is even better! What
REALLY happens is Awesome has Abbott in position for a crucifix bomb, but
Steiner hits the ring to help - Awesome drops and ducks and Abbott eats the
Steinerline. Gosh, they might not be friends for the next ten minutes or
so! Awesome MIGHT have covered Abbott here for the pin, but the camera
doesn't think to take that in for us. I DO know that a bell rings (? 1:28)
about a MILLION times as now STASIAK & PALUMBO - and then SUPERSTAR SCOTT
STEINER - hit the ring. As the ring empties of all but the Steiners...Rick
and Scott suddenly realise they're the only ones in the ring...a staredown
occurs...and of course, we THIS is the precise moment when we CAN'T wait
any longer - we simply MUST go to an ad break.
As the TV-PG-DLV ratings box reappears, we are graced with the sight of
Vince Russo walking (WALKING!) from car to car...then getting in one - but
before he can start up the car and drive away...Kevin Nash appears and
grabs him through the shotgun window. Russo screams and then runs
off...shirtless. Brrrrrrr.
Meanwhile, PAMELA PAULSHOCK catches up with Cat - sorry, "Mr. Commissioner"
in the locker room. Cat says if Big Poppa Pump won't work for him or with
him, then he'll have to work against him. Tonight he'll take Steiner out.
Let Us Take You Back to Nitro when Cat, Hogan, Kidman, Jarrett - and
Goldberg - had a bit of an angle
GENE O. works tonight! He stands backstage with Kidman, who says that he
trusted Eric Bischoff about Horace - and look what happened. What he did
on Monday wasn't to be buddies with Hulk - it was to screw with Eric.
Tonight, they'll find out that "this Kid don't play."
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET v. BILLY KIDMAN -
Champion enters first because he saw Triple H do it Monday. Commentators
sell Goldberg's jackhammer of Hogan through the table as one of the most
brutal manoeuvres ever - reporting a spinal injury. Kidman may have had to
job to Hogan on Sunday, but WOW! He's got some FIREWORKS now! Jarrett
punks him out from behind and we're off. Punch, punch, punch, punch, and
so on. Into the ropes, Kidman ducks the elbow, flying head scissors,
dropkick, elbow, into the ropes is reversed, head down, kick by Kidman, but
Jarrett hits a hot shot. Fistdrop, another, into the ropes, back elbow by
Jarrett and Kidman goes outside. Jarrett follows and drops him
throat-first on the barricade. Whip into the barricade. Kidman rolled
back in - Jarrett following. Into the ropes is reversed, but Jarrett hangs
on and the dropkick misses. Jarrett catapults him outside. Oops, here's
the FILTHY ANIMALS coming out to punish me for actually trying out
play-by-play during a Thunder report. Tygress joins the commentators and
says...oops, once AGAIN her headset doesn't work. We're probably better
off. Sure enough, Rosie Perez kicks in just as Kidman hits his infamous
YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN! Anyway, in a COMPLETE shocker, Konnan hits the
ring with the gee-tar and kabongs.....Kidman. WHAT A SWERVE!! Jarrett
gets the pinfall to retain (4:04) and now the "Theme From Wolfpac" fires up
and KEVIN NASH comes out. The Animals scatter and Nash wraps a belt around
Jarrett's neck and drags him off.
JOBBIN' VAMPIRO is out with his blowtorch and I think he just might have a
few words. "It's been three days since I've taken the actor Steve Borden -
better known to y'all as Sting - straight to hell - and sent his career up
in smoke. And I can still smell his flesh burning - and I can still hear
his voice like a little (bitch) as he fell off the top of the Jumbotron.
And every ounce of my subhuman frame feels no remorse about any of this.
And yet, all you people here have been brainwashed with the T-shirts and
the posters. I hear you chanting his name, Sting." Crowd: "..." "What
did Sting know about the dark side? Absolutely nothing. Put that poster
down! Take that mask off! I said, take that mask off!" Vampiro goes
outside, shoves a plant - I mean, fan - sitting next to her, and then AGAIN
demands that the mask be removed. He pulls it off himself, and - ahh,
that's ASYA - spits blood - I mean, "a red substance" - in his face.
Suddenly, "God of Thunder" fires up and out comes DEMON. Now, these two
fought on Monday, but we won't let that stop 'em from trying it again. Off
the ropes, duck, gutshot by Demon, butterfly suplex. Vampiro uses the
torch - to the gut. Clothesline. Tony tells us that Demon is Dale
Torborg, and Asya is his fiancee. I expect her to turn on Demon any minute
now - now she's in and on Vampiro's back - he backs her into the corner
hard. Vampiro picks her up - and hits the Nail in the Coffin! I am
SHOCKED that we managed to see that without the timely intervention of a
crowd shot. Demon attacks Vampiro from behind as he poses - and now
they're out of the ring and brawling down the aisle. Vampiro ends up in
Demon (Dale Torborg)'s "casket" - Demon (Dale Torborg) brandishes a
torch...then does his Ricky Steamboat impersonation. He should light that
thing on fire! Oh, I guess not. Demon (Dale Torborg) back over to check
on his fiancee, while we look back to see Vampiro escaping...with a crazy
look on his face. Hey Vampiro, last week this time you were in a
"big-money" feud with Sting. Tonight you're jobbing for Demon (Dale
Torborg). Life's a bitch, ain't it?
Promotional consideration paid for by Aqua Velva Ice Sport, Slim Jim
(Savage), Super Soaker, America (ha!) Online, Motel 6 7/8, and Aqua Velva
Ice Sport (again).
Hey, I think that was two segments so far without Russo...
Close captioning where available brought to you by Meineke!
3 Count vignette. Hey, they STILL only know the one song...anyway, they
perform at a mall...for one fan.
DAFFNEY UNGER is out in her (black) "wedding" dress and in a somber mood.
"David Flair - I can't believe that you've done this to me. You have
broken my heart. We were supposed to get married! And then you had to go
and betray me with that - that backstabbing bimbo! You know, you're so
utterly pathetic. I mean, anybody can see that Miss Peacock is not your
type. Miss Peacock is the type of hooch that wants to get her lanky
toothpick legs broken by me! Get your ex-Hooter girl butt out here right
now!" Here comes MISS HANCOCK with something for the children. "How could
you do this? You knew that we were engaged." "Look, I'll tell everyone in
here and you - just call your fiancee out of the back!" She takes her to
the mat instead. We quickly cut to a crowd shot lest things get
interesting. DAVID PENZER attempts to intervene - and quickly goes down
fast. Another crowd shot. Another crowd shot. Why do they DO this on
Thunder when they KNOW that we can't see it? DAVID FLAIR comes out and
pulls Daffney off of Hancock - then punks him out. CROWBAR is out to ask
David what's up - Flair Golotas him as he goes to check on Daffney. Flair
and Hancock take off - and Daffney checks on Crowbar.
Cat - is - WALKING!
Meanwhile, Russo (!) is WALKING! He hits the Cat's office. "He'll never
think I'm stupid enough to hide in here!" Of course, Nash is hiding behind
the potted plants. Nash IS a potted plant.
Advance Auto Parts presents "This Week in WCW Motorsports!" Blaise
Alexander qualified in the Top 15...and managed to get up to fourth...but
the curse of WCW Motorsports kicked in as Alexander managed a nebulous "Top
30" finish (translation: they probably finished 30th) after a few crashes.
SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER (with four - no, two hooches) v. NEW
GODFATHER OF SOUL (with six R&B security) - Crowbar demands a match with
Flair - later tonight! Is this match for the US title? Will it take place
in the Asylum? What do YOU think? "On Monday Night Nitro, Eric Bitch Off
and Vince Russo, you sent down Mike Awesome to interfere in my match,
because you're running WCW and you think you're in control. Well in case
you haven't noticed, I don't follow the rules too well, I don't give a
damn about authority, and the only people that control me are my
freaks...nationwide. Now Ernest the Cat, tonight you may think you're the
commissioner, but in reality all you're doing is taking an asskicking that
belongs to Bitch Off and Russo. So get your ass down here, Cat!" Cat's
entrance video has James Brown - it seems like YEARS ago, doesn't it?
Steiner destroys Cat, who decides to walk away. "C'mon, bitch!" Steiner
is busy discussing the Lakers/Pacers series with referee "Blind" Charles
Robinson, so no count. Cat apparently decides to run back to the ring,
because the next thing we see is a slide into the ring...about a foot
short. That was a lot funnier the FIRST time I saw it. Steiner goes back
to pounding. Cat's had ZERO offense so far. Finally, a couple R&B
Security guys trip up Steiner off the ropes, allowing Cat to sneak in a
superkick. Only a two count, though. Cat with his breakin' elbowdrop for
another 2. Cat has words with Robinson. Steiner with a waistlock, Cat's
trick knee acts up, James Brown uppercut, 2. Cat throws Steiner out to the
floor and the six men stomp on Steiner. Now Cat calls two of them in to
hold Steiner for a kick. One of the women comes in and Golotas a security
guy - Steiner shrugs off the other one. Okay, it's Shakira. Ahh, that's
so Midajah can also come in, climb to the top and splash Cat. Silver King,
El Dandy, Los Dos Villanos, Psychosis and La Parka have all been
released...but at least they have *Midajah*. Steinerline. Blockbuster
suplex. Belly-to-belly suplex. Steiner Recliner. See ya. (4:00)
Post-match, Cat has THE STICK: "Wait a damn minute! Wait! That's a
illegal chokehold, man! He choked me! That's a illegal chokehold - and
since I'm the commissioner - I'm gonna disqualify you for using that
chokehold on the commissioner. I've got all the power in the world...and
if you ever use it again, I'm gon' get your ass outta here along with that
hold - it's banned permanently! Hey, I'm the winner! I declare myself the
winner! Get over here!" (DQ 4:00) Cat goes ahead and totally shrugs off
the Recliner effects to do his James Brown impersonation..oh, wait, he DOES
collapse again, at least.
Meanwhile, Nash has a hogtied (and coughing!) Jarrett in Cat's office. He
doesn't know what to do with him, so he'll call up a friend in Florida and
ask HIM. Where'd Russo go? Who knows? Nash is wearing Jarrett's shades.
Oh, we are led to believe that's Scott Hall on the other end of the phone.
"I wanted Russo but I got Jarrett - what should I do with him? Hahahah -
that's a felony in all fifty states!" He can't shoot him...finally, Nash
has a plan. "You want Russo!" "I want YOU." Oh good lord, he's not gonna
SODOMIZE him out there....is he?
Promotional consideration paid for by Nitro for Men - it smells like suck,
1-800-BAR-NONE, Corn Nuts, Targon mouthwash, America (ha!) Online (again),
and Aqua Velva Ice Sport (again) (again).
Hey, no Russo in that segment...right? That makes...three, I think.
Gene O. stands with David Flair, who says that he's his own man now - he
retired the WOOOO Nature Boy. Crowbar better prepare to get shaved!
CROWBAR v. DAVID FLAIR - the same music plays for both men - I
think it's time to retire that God-awful Flair whine to start that song.
Flair carries the clippers, lock of Ric Flair's hair - and a statue of
liberty which will no doubt figure into the finish. Crowbar with a
baseball slide dropkick before Flair can enter the ring and here we go.
Pretty nice back and forth match which I should probably devote some typing
to - oh well. Nice move sees Crowbar hit a pescado on David Flair as he
sits on a chair out on the floor. Flair busts out a butterfly suplex AND a
superplex, and now I'm REALLY sad I didn't start play-by-play. Maybe I
should, now, huh? Dueling chops! Into the ropes, gutshot by Flair, front
suplex attempt is blocked and *Crowbar* hits one instead - one, two, nope.
Both men up, Crowbar with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," off the
ropes, nice dropkick, in the corner, Crowbar rips open Flair's shirt and
throttles him with it - "torn T-shirt beal," says Tony. Got him up in a
fireman's carry - and over with a Spicolli Driver. Out on the apron -
slingshot into a somersault legdrop - but only 2! What's he got left?
Flair begging off and Crowbar pointing...Flair puts Crowbar through the
ropes...and struts. Hey, Flair's definitely more cut these days. Crowbar
with a shoulder to the gut, trying the Sunset flip on his way in - Flair
holding on...grabbing the Statue of Liberty - ahh. Well, after pasting him
with the paste, it's over. 1, 2, 3. (7:40) Flair going for the clippers
- DAFFNEY is out, but Flair shoves her down by the face. Flair gives
Crowbar a little sideburn action while MISS HANCOCK walks out and teases a
striptease - Flair leaves the ring and follows her to the back.
Russo wasn't in that segment! Wow!
The 1-800-COL-LECT replay is of the Statue break, the pin, the shave, and
the walk back down the aisle
Coming back live, Nash is WALKING with Jarrett - while throttling him with
a bat.
"Theme from Wolfpac" plays again and KEVIN NASH & JEDOUBLEF
JADOUBLEREDOUBLET walk out. Time for our main event....interview.
Commentators feel withdrawl as well, asking "Where's Russo?" a few times.
Hey, this is probably all fake - Nash and Jarrett are working together.
"Russo! You know, Russo, on Monday night you put a vision, you scarred a
vision into my little nephew's brain. He watched his uncle bleed before
his eyes. When I was a young man, my older brother took me to see
the movie Deliverance. And there was a scene in that movie, Vince
Russo, that scarred my mind. Is it just me...or does Double J got a
(pretty mouth?) Come on, boy." Some more stuff gets muted in here,
including some requests to squeal. "Come on, boy! How 'bout we strip you
down to your underwear, boy? Russo, if you don't show your (ass), I'm
powerbombing the Chosen One ...straight to hell." The music starts up and
here's VIC VENOM. "Nash...that's enough! You want me, I'm standing right
here." "Why's it enough, Russo? Turning ya on a little bit?" "I got
something in my pocket you might be interested in. This right here, Kevin,
is the contract of one Scott Hall! Your buddy, Kevin! The other Outsider.
And ya know what? For the past four years, you've done everything to
protect Scott Hall. And so has Eric Bischoff - to some extent. But ya
know what? Bischoff ain't here tonight. And ya know what else, Kevin?
Not only do I hate you, I hate Scott Hall even more. I hated him up there,
and I hate him more down here. So what I'm sayin' is this, Nash. Unless
you back offa Jarrett and leave that ring right now, you can say goodbye to
the bad guy's contract. Yeah! I told you he would come! I told ya he'd
be here!" That music is playing, but will he come out? "Ohh, he's comin'
Kevin - he's comin', Kevin! I wouldn't do it, Kev! I wouldn't do it -
watch out, Kev..." and here's COLD BEER out from the crowd and taking him
down from behind. A rude hand gesture for the crowd, and a right hand for
Nash - guess he took too long to get into position for a spear. Goldberg
rips off the ropes around Jarrett's hands with one mighty tug. Jarrett
takes the bat to Nash, repeatedly. Russo stands over Nash's corpse...gets
set to rip up the contract...and we're outta time, so who knows if he
actually did it or not...
So when will Hall turn on Nash? When he returns?
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
The Last Man Watching Thunder
www.CRZ.net