by Christopher Robin Zimmerman WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs I GET LETTERS: First, the old business. Bill Preusser writes about last week's show: Hey! I was at this show, and thought I'd fill in one or two holes you mentioned in your recap. The ethnic slur Big Vito was using for the Jung Dragons was "Fortune Cookies". Not too bad, but i assume it was being blocked because of impending lawsuits. The "We want puppies" chant wasn't half-hearted, as it seemed when I saw the replay, though both women were clearly in danger of rewarding us as their outfits were clearly not tested in advance. Given the "Chinese menu" that one of the suits revolves around, I'll buy that. Doesn't make it any less lame that they did it, though... To the cruiserweight title match, and Arthur Kimes plays eagle eye: I checked a few different recaps and EVERYBODY missed something. The announcers mentioned that Chavo WHACKED Cajun with his head on the missed tope con hilo. But they DIDN'T mention (and all the recappers missed it) that poor Chavo had a GIANT egg on his forehead seconds after the tope. Notice that you only saw wide shots of the rest of the match, no closeups of Chavo. Buy, right after the DDT, when Chavo gets up you can clearly see the UGLY egg on the forehead. Scary. Jeff Mercer, identifying himself as "the person who watches Thunder before you," jumps on an opportunity to "correct" me: CRZ, Blaise Alexander actually finished 13th this past weekend. I know the announcer on the Thunder report should give more accuate information about Blaise. You should give accuate information about Blaise too. Here's a link to the Busch Series page. Fine. Everybody into torture click here: http://www.nascar.com/busch/ Everybody's a critic: God of Worldwide The Cubs Fan writes: No, no, no...it's "Above Average" Mike Sanders and "Angry" Allan Funk", WCW's Double A Team, the Re-Enforcers! See, it only took me *two* weeks to perfect Allan's pre-match NAO-esqe sing-a-long. I know you're on vacation and all...but don't be dissing the greatest tag team to EVER appear on Worldwide (in the last two weeks.) Stephenm508 writes: Not that You give a damn about WcW, but you said that Allen Funk was "Above Average". He's not. He's ANGRY ALLEN FUNK. He is angry, check out the anger. And Sanders is "Above Average", but they both still suck. I apologise to the ONLY two people in the WORLD who notice this. Serves me right for trying to drop in some Worldwide flava! I'm sticking to the IMPORTANT shows! (Wait...isn't this Thunder?) And finally, a disturbing trend is realised following Nitro. Dan M. chimes in with :CRZ - maybe this has been going on forever and I'm just catching on but did you notice the piped in crowd noise on the latest Nitro? It's especially noticable during the promos - every 10-15 seconds you'll hear the exact same canned pops. What makes it so absurd is that it comes in at inappropriate moments and makes it all the more obvious. WCW logo - one to hold it and four to rotate the first guy Highlight reel from Nitro - TV-PG-DLV - close captioned logo Earlier Today, Jeff Jarrett and Cat had a lively discussion - Jarrett asks Cat to let him retire Hulk Hogan tonight; THAT'll get ratings. Cat says he's got some other ideas... Opening Credits - I'll get right back to you on that...next week, maybe PYRO! We are LIVE - for the first time in quite a while - from Columbus, GA and this is THUNDER! for 5.7.2K on WTBS - all sorts of people are around - believe it! JEDOUBLE JADOUBLEREDOUBLET gets the opening segment. Already tonight, the random swell of the MacKenzie is noticable ... to the point of distraction. "I am the Chosen One! I am the man who singlehandedly El Kabong'd Standards & Practices right out of WCW, but ever since that happened, ever since that incident it seems like things have changed around here. Well when I arrived here they don't me they didn't have time for the Greatest WCW Heavyweight champion of ALL time. But you damn betcha I made sure I got my time for you people to bask in the glory of the one that is ...the Chosen One. Because tonight, I'm not gonna wait 'til Sunday, tonight I'm gonna invite the Hulkster - Terry Bollea - Hollywood - down to this ring, 'cause I'm gonna retire his ass. I'm not gonna wait 'til Sunday, I'm gonna run him RIGHT outta WCW. I said it Monday night--" CAT's music fires up and out he comes. He says that when he said he could be on HIS show tonight, it didn't mean he could come out and run his shot. Tonight, he'll earn his meal ticket - he'll wrestle tonight in that ring. Cat says "I book my own damn show," and says that there's no time for him to bring his "big fatass family" out like he did on Monday - it's all about RATINGS, baby. The Greatest Commissioner of all time (and a badass karate guy) says he's gonna find the baddest, meanest guys around, bring them into the ring, and show the audience just how bad he is. That was...random. Okay, there's more. Tonight, a tag team match pitting Franchise and Kanyon against Bagwell and Booker T. - the man who gets the fall will get a main event slot...against Jarrett for the WCW World Heavyweight title. Cat says he'll call Hogan and tell him that he shouldn't count on Jarrett being his opponent Sunday - he may not bring the title to Bash at the Beach. Your hosts are the AWESOME 3. Tonight - a four corners match with two Animals, Kidman and Storm! Awesome vs. Steiner! The return of the Demon in a hardcore title match! We learn that Johnny "the Bull" has suffered some severe injuries and may not compete in Sunday's hardcore title match - or for several weeks. More as it's revealed. Finally, Goldberg has been told not to show up to Thunder tonight - but will he listen? Earlier today, the unblinking eye of the WCW camera caught our tag team champions hitting the tanning beds in the arena - and getting locked in by production whipping boy Woody Kearce. "Road House" on TBS! Terry Funk! Terry Funk! "Road House!" Backstage, Jeff Jarrett throws a tantrum about not getting Hogan tonight, upending a catering table in the process. As the camera zooms in on a quizzical stagehand, Kanyon enters the picture and delivers a Kanyon Cutter. "BANG!" Jarrett: (offstage) "Knock that crap off, Kanyon!" Let Us Take You Back to Monday, where the Filthy Animals stole the victory from Storm & Kidman DISCO INFERNO v. RAYMOND STEREO v. LANCE STORM v. BILLY KIDMAN in a Four Corners Match - the Animals enter together; the non-Animals do not, as the Animals doubleteam Storm as soon as he hits the ring, much to the chagrin of referee "Blind" Billy Silverman. Kidman manages to almost beat his entrance music hitting the ring. The bell sounds and we're off. Kidman wants to tag Inferno while Storm tries to tag Mysterio - both disappear. Looks like they'll lock it up as the logo whooshes in - 4 days. Lockup, side headlock from Kidman, powering out, duck, up and Kidman takes him over with a headscissors, elbow, off the ropes, Storm ducks, elbow, into the ropes, press - Kidman rolls him up - 1. "I get 2, you get 2" sequence that deserves more from me but this is my "C" material report, so never mind all that. Inferno comes in with a sneaky clothesline that causes both men to collide. Mysterio decides to tap Kidman's back and punish storm. Inferno tagged in - swinging neckbreaker. "Legdrop to the graun" spot. Inferno with an atomic drop. Mysterio (sorta) tagged in - broncobuster is met with a boot to the little Rey. Inferno wants to check on his partner - who wants no part of this - in fact, he rolls him up for 2! Brief discussion ensues and Rey offers the Hand of Friendship - and gutshot and DDT. Don't Trust Nobody! Storm tags himself in (sorta) and hits a springboard dropkick - Rey saves Disco at 2. Into the ropes, Mysterio with his trademark spin - dumping Storm on the apron - gutshot - Storm caught up in the ropes for the legdrop from the top - 2 count saved by Kidman. Into the ropes, of the ropes, Mysterio ducks it - Kidman puts him on top - Mysterio elbow - Frankensteiner attempt caught - POWERBOMB - 2, save by Inferno. Kidman and Inferno going - Disco with a piledriver for 2, *Storm* making the save. Mysterio dropkicks Kidman outside and rolls out after him while, in the ring, Storm puts Disco in the corner - elbow up, but when Disco charges, Storm hits the rolling half crab - I don't know if the commentators knew that that was his move? Anyway, Kidman is in to save--oh no, he pulls up instead. Smart move! Disco taps and Lance Storm is your winner. (Call 4:11) Kidman and Storm slap hands after the match. GENE O. works tonight! He stands with Buff Bagwell and Booker T. - Go figure, Bagwell has designs on the World Heavyweight championship. They do the Wonder Twin Powers touch and Bagwell takes off. T says he's decided HE'LL write a book: "Positively Kanyon's Greatest Moments," despite the fact that there aren't any - but we'll get past that. "Chapter 1: Kanyon Sucks. Chapter 2: Kanyon STILL Sucks. Chapter 3: Guess What - Kanyon Sucks Again. But let us not forget Chapter 4: This Sunday, Bash at the Beach, Kanyon Craps His Pants Like a Little Baby - and I know u can dig that, Gene." Trainer Danny Young brings the bolt cutters and frees the now extra crispy Perfect Event - then fingers Woody as the man what brung the chains Let Us Take You Back to Monday Night Where the Dragons Were No Match For The Right Hand Of Tank - after the match, Cat said he had a proposition for them...ahh, we are told that this has something to do with what Cat was talking about earlier. CAT hits the ring. "Now, I'm gonna demonstrate to you people just how bad I am, I'm gonna call these mean tough guys over here. Now, if you people don't shut up when I finish with these boys, I'm gon' take it out on you people! Come on out here, boys!" The JUNG DRAGONS hit the ring. "Okay boys, now we gon' do this thing nice and slow, because I wanna show all my fans out there just how GREAT I am - I got to be the--" and he gets jumped. I guess this isn't a match as there's no ref out there. Three-way beatdown with a multitude of moves. Cat ends up sliding out of the ring, berating the Dragons for messing up his "demonstration." Cat baack in the ring - and bowing. The Dragons decide to bow as well - Cat superkicks all three men in rapid succession. Brief flurries of offense for the Dragons - but only one man at a time, and Cat has no problems dealing with them in turn. Highlight: a testicular claw on Kaz. As they all end up outside the ring, Cat declares the demonstration over and asks the audience to give them a hand. "All right, Mike Tyson, you want some? Oh...sorry ma'am, you just LOOK like Mike Tyson!" Cat asks for his music to be hit and he starts dancing. Meanwhile, in the truck, Palumbo & Stasiak find Woody and ... well, I believe they issue a challenge. Unfortunately, I can't make out a WORD that's said! Jimmy Barron phones in the Road Report with 1-800-CAL-LATT - Nitro hits the Jacksonville, Florida Colesium Cat tells the Dragons he had a lot of fun - then he pays them off. They turn happy as they count their money... Let Us Take You Back to Monday as Asya went down - and Vampiro jobbed again WORLD HARDCORE TITLE: BIG VITO v. DEMON - Vito walks around backstage and finds the sarcophagus - problem is, Demon wasn't in it. Hey, I heard that if you REALLY scour WrestleLine, you'll find out ahead-of-time what's gonna happen in that Graveyard match Sunday before it EVEN happens! Then you'll have to ask yourself once again if it's worth the thirty bones. After four minutes of "hardcore" action, JOBBIN' VAMPIRO appears at the top of the ramp with shovel in hand....and he breaks it over his back. Vito gives Vampiro a look - he shrugs and takes off. Vito covers for the pin. (5:03) Vampiro has the stick: "Tonight, I let you live. But Sunday night, it's done." See, Violent J's gonna...oops, I've said too much. Gene O. stands with Awesome Mike Awesome - he'll have no problems with Rick Steiner tonight, seeing as he's 2-0 against brother Scott. Gene takes umbrage - Awesome says he's got video proof - and presents a doctored pastiche of Scott Steiner running away as Silverman and Awesome count to ten. That RULED. Gene turns to the camera after he exits and exclaims "What a freaky mullet!" Awesome: (offstage) "Hey! I'm not a mullet!" Sunday. Bash at the Beach. Live and only on pay-per-view! Thanks, Master Lock! Franchise and Kanyon have a few words about who'll get the pinfall for their team in their upcoming match. Here's A Series of Flashbacks to the Wacky World of Woody Kearce and the Perfect Event PERFECT EVENT v. WOODY KEARCE - Champs work REALLY HARD to sell their "sunburn" by going "ooh, ooh, ow, ooh" a lot. Hopefully, they're just painted up and didn't really sit in the tanning bed....this is WCW, so you never really know. Referee "Blind" Charles Robinson gives it a "damn, you guys look sad" look. Stasiak: "Hey Woody, you little television production puke! Bring your skinny, bald-headed...redneck carcass out here now. Sunburn or not, in this event, we're gonna smoke you with perfection!" Kearce comes out to some bluegrass and removes his shirt. His posing routine apparently involves putting his shoulderblade out of alignment. Schiavone mentions "Deliverance." Kearce: "Where's your army?" He introduces his...BRIAN ADAMS. Tenay says that Adams told him Bryan Clark was smoking weed last night (I think that's what he said) and that's why he's not around tonight. Adams manages to overpower both men while Woody, out on the apron, slaps men in the back as they approach him. See, it HURTS because they're SUNBURNED. Anyway, the two FINALLY get control over the one, but as they go to put Adams in a double suplex, Woody comes in with a *devastating* slap to the sunburned backs and both men go "ooh, ooh, ow, ooh." Adams delivers some knife-edge chops to the sunburn. Apparently, the crowd is chanting "We Want Woody" but not loud enough to take out the canned stuff you and I are hearing. Full nelson into a chokeslam for Palumbo - Adams calls in Kearce to help him deliver High Time to Stasiak. He tells Woody to cover him for the pin. Woody says "but I'm not the legal man - oh what the hell" and puts his knees on Stasiak's arms - 1, 2, 3. (2:51) Schiavone proclaims this segment "a Thunder moment." Heenan says "Deliverance." I say "Damn, it's JUST GREAT that they fired all the luchadores so they could get the GUY WORKING IN THE TRUCK over." Backstage, Terry Funk arrives - Big Vito, spying him - takes out his title belt and waffles Funk with it. Then he takes his Staten Island Stickball Stick to him repeatedly. Meanwhile, a security guy JUST STANDS THERE and does NOTHING! Come on, dude! It's happening RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! He's RIGHT THERE! Bash at the Beach: Goldberg vs. Nash - for Scott Hall's contract - over/under on Nash pushing back his hair is 21 Vito decides to take off Let Us Take You Back to Last Week where Kanyon took a brick to Bagwell - and Monday where Booker T hit the worst uranage ever (thanks to Franchise not knowing what he was supposed to be selling) only to fall prey to Kanyon's post-match cheap shot "THE FRANCHISE" SHANE DOUGLAS (with TV-PG-DLV ratings box) and "POSITIVELY" KANYON v. BUFF DADDY BAGWELL and BOOKA T with the man scoring the fall getting a title shot - well, at least the name "Shane Douglas" made the chyron this week. Who's gonna start? Bagwell and T have a brief discussio about who will start. Kanyon over with a shove - T and Bagwell share a look...and BOTH go after him. We see Jarrett watching things on a monitor backstage. Off the ropes, double gutshot, double suplex. Bagwell starts pinwheeling, so referee "Blind" Mickie Jay arbitrarily decides that HE is the one who should go to the corner. Head to the buckle by Booker, right, chop, "uhhhhhh!", Kanyon puts him into the corner, but eats a boot. Spinning Harlem side kick. Gutshot, off the ropes, axe kick coming up - bingo. Kanyon crawls to his corner...Franchise drops down. HE doesn't want the tag. Bagwell starts a "Franchise sucks" chant to kill some time. Kanyon decides to lock it up again, arm wringer by T, face rake by Kanyon. Side headlock, powering off the ropes, blind tag by Bagwell, surprise crossbody hits Kanyon, but Jay is busy explaining to T that he was tagged out - and as a result, only gets to 2 once he gets to counting. Brief argument from Bagwell. Into the ropes, Kanyon ducks, gutshot by Bagwell, DDT, Bagwell decides to pose - and flip a bird to Douglas. Right hand, right, into the ropes, reversed, Douglas puts a knee to the back and ducks Bagwell's swing - Kanyon hits the distracted Bagwell and a side Russian legsweep - 1, 2, kickout. Again Kanyon offers the hand - again Douglas doesn't want the tag. Kanyon rolled up by surprise - 1, 2, no. Pounding on Bagwell, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, hiptoss countered with a swinging neckbreaker. NOW Douglas wants the tag...Kanyon walking over - nope, there's a rude hand gesture instead. Kanyon back over - knee on the larynx for 4. Shoulderdrive - into the opposite corner, running at Bagwell and running into an elbow. Vaderbomb gets 2. Motioning for the blockbuster...Kanyon stumbling into it! 1, 2, Douglas breaks up the pin, then takes Bagwell to the outside - unfortunately, too close to Booker T, who tags himself in on the way. T motions to Jay, who motions back - that's the legal guy over there! Kanyon runs into the "Book End" - 1, 2, 3. (4:14) I guess it ain't the "110th Street Slam" no more - maybe it never was. Anyway, don't you DARE call it "Rock Bottom." Booker T. takes on Jeff Jarrett for the world title tonight. Bagwell offers the handshake post-match. He still gets to pinwheel, so it's all good. The Misfits in Action huddle up. For the WCW World Heavyweight Title - Jarrett vs. Hogan. Say...shouldn't that be *Booker T vs. Hogan*? Let Us Take A Special Video Look at Jeff Jarrett Talking About Hulk Hogan And Also Bringing Out The Fat Chicks Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim (no Savage), Super Soaker, America (ha!) Online, Boston Market TV dinners, Motel 6 7/8, and Stone Street Capital's cash scam Backstage, Crowbar - arrives! Behind him...and unknown to him...is Daffney Meanwhile, at the dressing room marked "Rick Steiner," Mike Awesome walks in...checks to make sure he isn't there...and sprays something on his sunglasses. Golly, I hope that cameraman warns Steiner when he shows up! DE JUICE & TYGRESS (already in the ring) v. LT. LOCO & MAJ. GUNNS in mixed tag action - At Bash at the Beach, the two men in this match will grapple for the cruiserweight title. Feel the awesome power of the brave corporate logo - whoooooosh. For some reason, Guerrera's pants keep falling down. After taking his beating, Guerrera decides to tag in Tygress. Loco actually tags in Gunns. They don't lock up - Guerrera is tagged back in. Gunns starts to rip her shirt...then tries a kick - Guerrera catches it. He rares up to punch her - but doesn't. So she kickis him in the 'nads. I think we've all learned a valuable lesson here. Tygress tagged in. Are they gonna do it or not? Oh....yup. The men pull them apart. Well, hell, what's the POINT of this as a MATCH then? They go back at it. Gunns manages to just barely scoop slam Tygress without falling over...well, actually she DOES fall over, but let's give an E for effort. Juice decides to scoop up Gunns, but Loco turns it over into the Slop Drop position, takes over for her - and slams him on his back. He asks Gunns to cover him - but Tygress trips her up from the outside. THEY go at it again while Guerrera rolls over to the corner with the cruiserweight title in it. Referee "Blind" Jamie Tucker checking on Gunns, who is writhing around in pain. Juice gets a waffle in on Loco and there's your ballgame. 1, 2, 3. (3:31) Golly, doesn't this make you EXCITED to watch them go at it for the strap on Sunday? Isn't your wallet just ITCHING with thirty dollars that DEMAND to be spent buying the opportunity to view...ahh, you've heard it all before. Backstage, we see Steiner put on his sunglasses...and gives us "ohhh, my eyes hurt," and call for the trainer. Noooooo! Don't rinse with DASANI!! *WHY* didn't the cameraman WARN him? That HEARTLESS BASTARD Advance Auto Parts presents "This Week in WCW Motorsports!" This is Daytona. This is Wally Dallenbach driving the #75 Ford at Daytona. This is restrictor plate bitching. Hey, Goldberg likes racing! Too bad he's a heel...no, wait... Anyway, Dallenbach score a "top 25 finish" (translation: he finished 25th). Next week, back to Blaise Alexander! Gene O. stands once again with Booker T. Never in his wildest dreams did he envision that he'd come into the arena tonight and walk out with the title. Sunday night it'll be strictly business when he beats up Kanyon - but tonight, it'll be his pleasure to defeat Jarrett for the title. Now can u dig that. Here's a Special Video Look at Vampiro and What He's Done to Sting - lots of clips of (old) Sting - and What's Coming Up with Demon. Also some clips of "the burn unit" - the final one of an empty bed...with a Sting mask on it. The canned crowd noise goes WILD! Commentators wonder aloud where Sting might be. Crowd actually musters a "We want Sting!" chant. Yesterday, from Florida, Mike Tenay interviews Hacksaw Jim Duggan, who shares a sofa with his wife Deborah. Duggan says he has a couple cracked ribs and there was a little internal bleeding, but physically, he'll be fine. Emotionally...there are still a lot of bridges to cross. Last Monday, he did what he had to do - he wasn't gonna let the Cat try to intimidate him, and he wasn't going to back away from Goldberg. Have all the politics affected him? He's always loved the sport, and he always WILL love the sport. WCW is just an extension of society - there may be lots of bad people out there...but there are also lots of GOOD people out there. "I've been here in WCW before Russo got here - and I'll be here in WCW after Russo's gone." Duggan thanks the fans for all their continued support and vows that he WILL be back...for them. Then he winks with each eye just in case we missed it the first time. Unfortunately, Tenay fails to ask him what's up with the World Television title. Promotional consideration paid for by Motel 6 7/8 (2), Corn Nuts, Bubble Yum, America (ha!) Online (2), Boston Market freezer chicken (2), and Super Soaker (2) Crowbar is WALKING! And looking for David Flair. He finds him...with Miss Hancock in his lap. Crowbar roughs him up and they start out towards ringside. We look back at the door to see Miss Hancock running after them with the pipe that Crowbar left behind... Gene O. stands with Jeff Jarrett, who busts out "Jurassic Slapass" and disses Booker T. Crowd randomly swells and bursts into spontaneous applause. Jarrett tells him to send a message to the Cat - he's starting something he can't finish... Steiner gets his eyes checked by trainer Danny Young. Let Us Take You Back to Monday and the Ongoing Saga of David and Daffney As we come back to ringside, CROWBAR is dragging out DAVID FLAIR and brawling with him all the way to the ring. Referee "Blind" Billy Silverman is in the ring, so I guess we have a match here. Slingshot press gets 2. Crowbar with a chop. Chop, into the ropes, big back body drop. Crowbar going to the top floor - Flair shoves Silverman into the ropes, crotching Crowbar. Flair with an elbow, another elbow, a chop, second rope...SUPERPLEX! WHOOOOOSH 4 DAYS LOGO WHOOOOSH - Flair with the woooo and figure four. Here comes MISS HANCOCK who holds the pipe for Flair - this, I guess, is "leverage." Silverman counts 2 a couple times, then notices the doin's and breaks the hold. Flair up to argue with Silverman - there's a shove into a schoolboy for 2. Crowbar argues the count - HE gets shoved into a schoolboy for 2. Crowbar with a choke on Flair - Hancock gets in the ring - but Silverman stands in front of her and "no, no." Flair manages a nutshot uppercut behind Silverman's back. DAFFNEY UNGER is out and trying to wrest the pipe from Hancock - after a brief tug-o-war, Hancock ends up falling backwards when Daffney lets go. Hancock removes her jacket as Daffney hits the ring - but she brandishes a pair of clippers and Hancock begs off. The chase is on and Silverman is appropriately distracted. Flair gets a shove from Daffney as he tries to get between them. Blind pipe to the gut by Crowbar. Mindbender for Flair - 1, 2, 3. (3:02) Crowbar puts Flair in a choke and calls over DAVID PENZER, who holds the mic while he holds Flair. "Daffney, get down here, you gotta hear somethin'. Daffney get down here. David, you listen and you better listen real good. I'm gonna ask you two simple questions, and if you do not answer me with the truth, I'm gonna wind up and your head's gonna wind up in the twelfth row. Tell me: who shaved her head? Who was it?" "I'm sorry - she made me do it." "So who did it? Who did it?" "She did it." "Number two: are you or are you not messing around on Daffney?" "Nah, nah, nah, no." "I'm gonna wind up - your head's gonna go right out there, you better tell the truth right now." "I'm sorry, I did it - I did it." "So, now that that's all squared away...there really is nothing keeping me from puttin' your head out in the third row! Batters up, baby!" Placing Flair on the apron...Daffney walks over and slaps him one...then stomps off. "Daffney! I only wanted you to hear the truth!" Crowbar takes off after her... NEXT: Mike Awesome is WALKING! Meanwhile, Rick Steiner is WALKING! Closed captioning where available provided by Meineke! Hancock tells trainer Danny Young that her leg is injured - no, higher - no, higher. Flair hits the frame and makes with the screaming. Young tries to tell him that Hancock told him her leg was injured. "No, I didn't!" Flair throws a mean elbow, then grabs the clippers and starts to shave him. After seeing this, I only have one question: what the heck did Hancock do with Los Fabulosos? Let Us Take You Back to Monday Night where Awesome took a countout "victory" on Scott Steiner - only to feel the wrath of Rick Steiner. AWESOME MULLET v. RICK WOOF WOOF - Sign in crowd says "awsome mullet." *Where's my damn cheque?* Steiner continues to sell partial blindness - not that it should affect his wrestling style, yuk yuk yuk. Awesome quickly takes control as Steiner enters the ring and doesn't let up. Awesome Splash only gets 2. Into the ropes, Steiner ducks, Steiner turns a leapfrog into a Dangerous Backdrop. Steinerline. Belly-to-belly. 1, 2, Awesome kicks out. Awesome punches and tosses Steiner through the ropes. Into the barricade. Awesome going under the ring for an Awesome table...and puts it in the ring. Having set it up in the corner, her returns to Steiner - forearm, forearm, got him up for the crucifix bomb, but Steiner breaks free and muscles Awesome shoulder-first into the table. Steiner goes outside and finds a steel chair - referee "Blind" Mark Johnson takes it away from him, and while he puts it away Awesome maces him once again. 1, 2, 3. (2:23) Awesome quickly looks for some mullet signs to yell at. NEXT: Jeff Jarrett is WALKING! Meanwhile, Booker T. is WALKING! Let Us Take You Back to Monday where Booker T. pinned Franchise - and also displayed some leadership during the battle royal. Earlier tonight, he pinned Kanyon (oops, they forgot to turn the sound off during this replay) to get his spot in THIS match... WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET v. BOOKA T. - this is a personal dream matchup of mine, by the way. That's not sarcasm. Champion enters first because it's all the rage with the kids. By the way, who scripted Jarrett actually saying "El Kabong" and *where's my damn cheque?* T fires up the crowd as we start. Lockup faked, one more. Back to the centre of the ring, lockup, side headlock by T, chain wrestling, back to the headlock, Jarrett powers out, big shoulderblock off the ropes by T. They go to lock up again but Jarrett takes the shortcut to the eyes. Uppercut elbow, off the ropes, Jarrett with a shoulderblock, up and over off the ropes, T leapfrog, NICE dropkick, clothesline takes Jarrett to the outside! T to the apron - off the ropes with the double axehandle to the shoulderblades. Hard into the barricade. T takes Jarrett's head to the commentary table. "Uhhhhh!" Back into the ring, right hand, knife-edge chop, into the ropes, reversal by Jarrett, to the sleeper. T turns it into a Jarrett side headlock - shoves him out - and puts on a sleeper of his own - Jarrett counters by picking him up and dropping the knee across his own knee. Straight into a figure four. T fighting it - or trying to - but it's wearing him down. T screaming out - the shoulders are down and referee "Blind" Charles Robinson counts - 1, 2, shoulder up. T trying to turn it...reaching for the bottom rope instead. Jarrett lets go of the hold but IMMEDIATELY stomps on the knee to continue the damage. Stomp, stomp, stomp, right, right, right, right, T down on the mat and Jarrett on the second turnbuckle to work the crowd. Into the ropes, T ducks, double clothesline and BOTH men are down. Robinson puts on the count as the crowd counts along. Jarrett up at 7 - T up to block, right, right, right, into the ropes, Jarrett holding on, T reversing, knee to the gut, off the ropes with the axe kick! T breakdances back up and hits the spinebuster - ONLY 2!! T ready for it - motioning to the crowd - but the Harlem sidekick MISSES when Jarrett ducks and the momentum carries Booker T all the way to the ropes, landing on the top rope and falling to the apron! T to the floor - Jarrett wants to go out after him but Robinson is holding him back...and missing "POSITIVELY" KANYON out to hit his second Kanyon Cutter on Booker T this week (and the first one commentators actually saw) - T's lifeless form is rolled back in as Kanyon hugs the floor. Jarrett hooks a leg but it isn't necessary. 1, 2, 3. (5:00) Schiavone: "That's a travesty of justice! The man - the man would have won this thing - and he was jobbed out of it by a DDP impersonator!" Heenan: "Aww, quit cryin'. What, did you bet on him?" Hey, CAT is out! "Wait a minute! Hey, Chris Kanyon, didn't I tell you no interferin'? Didn't I tell you there was no interferin' in any of my matches? I want you to get your DDP-lookin' ass outta here!" Kanyon looks back on his way out. "Don't you even think about it! Now, referee, referee I want you to restart this match right now! I want you to restart this match right now, referee. It ain't me you want - it's in the ring!" Jarrett continues to bitch with Cat - at arm's reach now - but T is over from behind - right, right, right - Cat actually runs Jarrett back to the ring and rolls him back in! Booker T joins him there - rollup - 1, 2, KICKOUT!! Into the ropes, backdrop - countered with a Sunset flip attempt - T stops is and crouches on him - another 2! Into the corner, Jarrett puts up a boot - runs into a powerslam. T motioning to the crowd - climbing up for the missile dropkick! IT HITS! 1, 2, but T ended up putting Jarrett's foot over the bottom rope while he was hooking the leg (Heenan: "Dummy!") T looking for something else to do...Jarrett manages to run him into the corner turnbuckle. Jarrett runs at T, who ducks - Robinson takes the brunt. T hits the Book End uranage, but there's no referee. T counts his own pinfall...but it doesn't count. Cat is over to check on Robinson - and removing his shirt! Jarrett has the belt - but T hits a Harlem sidekick to the belt! AGAIN Jarrett is down for longer than three seconds, but by the time Cat puts the zebra over his neck and hits the ring - Jarrett kicks out at 2. Even the music guy is fooled for about half a second as the Kraftwerk "Yes" goes over the PA. Into the ropes, head down, uppercut from Jarrett. He's going for the gee-tar - T running at him and getting dumped to the outside. Cat spins around Jarrett to ask him about the guitar - and finds out firsthand as Jarrett kabongs him. Jarrett takes the title belt and runs off as referees Billy Silverman and Jamie Tucker hit the ring and call for the bell - Booker T. will win this night...but unfortunately, it'll be by disqualification. Jarrett will keep the title. (DQ +2:31) If nothing else, I think we settled a few facts that SHOULD have been previously known... but if they weren't, they're definitely better known now. 1) Booker T. can be carried
2) Jeff Jarrett can carry Guess what? Tonight, you got a glimpse. THIS is the future that will make WCW money. I wonder if anybody who isn't me is smart enough to pick up on it? AND I wonder if we can get there despite the seven quarters of gar-bahj that polluted up the show before the main? I also wonder if Booker T. vs. Kanyon is enough to get me to order this show. Eh, we all know I'll order it anyway, right? Christopher Robin Zimmerman
www.CRZ.net