by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
I GET LETTERS: First, the old business. Bill Preusser writes about last week's show: Hey! I was at this show, and thought I'd fill in one or two holes you
mentioned in your recap. The ethnic slur Big Vito was using for the Jung
Dragons was "Fortune Cookies". Not too bad, but i assume it was being blocked
because of impending lawsuits. The "We want puppies" chant wasn't
half-hearted, as it seemed when I saw the replay, though both women were
clearly in danger of rewarding us as their outfits were clearly not tested in
Given the "Chinese menu" that one of the suits revolves around, I'll buy
that. Doesn't make it any less lame that they did it, though...
To the cruiserweight title match, and Arthur Kimes plays eagle eye: I checked a few different recaps and EVERYBODY missed something. The
announcers mentioned that Chavo WHACKED Cajun with his head on the missed
tope con hilo. But they DIDN'T mention (and all the recappers missed it)
that poor Chavo had a GIANT egg on his forehead seconds after the tope.
Notice that you only saw wide shots of the rest of the match, no closeups
of Chavo. Buy, right after the DDT, when Chavo gets up you can clearly see
the UGLY egg on the forehead. Scary.
Jeff Mercer, identifying himself as "the person who watches Thunder before you," jumps on an opportunity to "correct" me: CRZ,
Blaise Alexander actually finished 13th this past weekend. I know the announcer on the Thunder report should give more accuate information about Blaise. You should give accuate information about Blaise too. Here's a link to the Busch Series page.
Fine. Everybody into torture click here: http://www.nascar.com/busch/
Everybody's a critic: God of Worldwide The Cubs Fan writes: No, no, no...it's "Above Average" Mike Sanders and "Angry" Allan Funk",
WCW's Double A Team, the Re-Enforcers!
See, it only took me *two* weeks to perfect Allan's pre-match NAO-esqe
I know you're on vacation and all...but don't be dissing the greatest tag
team to EVER appear on Worldwide (in the last two weeks.)
Stephenm508 writes: Not that You give a damn about WcW, but you said that Allen Funk was "Above
Average". He's not. He's ANGRY ALLEN FUNK. He is angry, check out the
anger. And Sanders is "Above Average", but they both still suck.
I apologise to the ONLY two people in the WORLD who notice this. Serves me
right for trying to drop in some Worldwide flava! I'm sticking to the
IMPORTANT shows! (Wait...isn't this Thunder?)
And finally, a disturbing trend is realised following Nitro. Dan M. chimes in with :CRZ - maybe this has been going on forever and I'm just catching on but did
you notice the piped in crowd noise on the latest Nitro? It's especially
noticable during the promos - every 10-15 seconds you'll hear the exact same
canned pops. What makes it so absurd is that it comes in at inappropriate
moments and makes it all the more obvious.
WCW logo - one to hold it and four to rotate the first guy
Highlight reel from Nitro - TV-PG-DLV - close captioned logo
Earlier Today, Jeff Jarrett and Cat had a lively discussion - Jarrett asks
Cat to let him retire Hulk Hogan tonight; THAT'll get ratings. Cat says
he's got some other ideas...
Opening Credits - I'll get right back to you on that...next week, maybe
PYRO! We are LIVE - for the first time in quite a while - from Columbus,
GA and this is THUNDER! for 5.7.2K on WTBS - all sorts of people are around
- believe it!
JEDOUBLE JADOUBLEREDOUBLET gets the opening segment. Already tonight, the
random swell of the MacKenzie is noticable ... to the point of distraction.
"I am the Chosen One! I am the man who singlehandedly El Kabong'd
Standards & Practices right out of WCW, but ever since that happened, ever
since that incident it seems like things have changed around here. Well
when I arrived here they don't me they didn't have time for the Greatest
WCW Heavyweight champion of ALL time. But you damn betcha I made sure I
got my time for you people to bask in the glory of the one that is ...the
Chosen One. Because tonight, I'm not gonna wait 'til Sunday, tonight I'm
gonna invite the Hulkster - Terry Bollea
- Hollywood - down to this ring, 'cause I'm gonna retire his ass. I'm not
gonna wait 'til Sunday, I'm gonna run him RIGHT outta WCW. I said it
Monday night--" CAT's music fires up and out he comes. He says that when
he said he could be on HIS show tonight, it didn't mean he could come out
and run his shot. Tonight, he'll earn his meal ticket - he'll wrestle
tonight in that ring. Cat says "I book my own damn show," and says that
there's no time for him to bring his "big fatass family" out like he did on
Monday - it's all about RATINGS, baby. The Greatest Commissioner of all
time (and a badass karate guy) says he's gonna find the baddest, meanest
guys around, bring them into the ring, and show the audience just how bad
he is. That was...random. Okay, there's more. Tonight, a tag team match
pitting Franchise and Kanyon against Bagwell and Booker T. - the man who
gets the fall will get a main event slot...against Jarrett for the WCW
World Heavyweight title. Cat says he'll call Hogan and tell him that he
shouldn't count on Jarrett being his opponent Sunday - he may not bring the
title to Bash at the Beach.
Your hosts are the AWESOME 3. Tonight - a four corners match with two
Animals, Kidman and Storm! Awesome vs. Steiner! The return of the Demon
in a hardcore title match! We learn that Johnny "the Bull" has
suffered some severe injuries and may not compete in Sunday's hardcore
title match - or for several weeks. More as it's revealed. Finally,
Goldberg has been told not to show up to Thunder tonight - but will he
Earlier today, the unblinking eye of the WCW camera caught our tag team
champions hitting the tanning beds in the arena - and getting locked in by
production whipping boy Woody Kearce.
"Road House" on TBS! Terry Funk! Terry Funk! "Road House!"
Backstage, Jeff Jarrett throws a tantrum about not getting Hogan tonight,
upending a catering table in the process. As the camera zooms in on a
quizzical stagehand, Kanyon enters the picture and delivers a Kanyon
Cutter. "BANG!" Jarrett: (offstage) "Knock that crap off, Kanyon!"
Let Us Take You Back to Monday, where the Filthy Animals stole the victory
from Storm & Kidman
DISCO INFERNO v. RAYMOND STEREO v. LANCE STORM v. BILLY KIDMAN in a Four
Corners Match - the Animals enter together; the non-Animals do not, as the
Animals doubleteam Storm as soon as he hits the ring, much to the chagrin
of referee "Blind" Billy Silverman. Kidman manages to almost beat his
entrance music hitting the ring. The bell sounds and we're off. Kidman
wants to tag Inferno while Storm tries to tag Mysterio - both disappear.
Looks like they'll lock it up as the logo whooshes in - 4 days. Lockup,
side headlock from Kidman, powering out, duck, up and Kidman takes him over
with a headscissors, elbow, off the ropes, Storm ducks, elbow, into the
ropes, press - Kidman rolls him up - 1. "I get 2, you get 2" sequence that
deserves more from me but this is my "C" material report, so never mind all
that. Inferno comes in with a sneaky clothesline that causes both men to
collide. Mysterio decides to tap Kidman's back and punish storm. Inferno
tagged in - swinging neckbreaker. "Legdrop to the graun" spot. Inferno
with an atomic drop. Mysterio (sorta) tagged in - broncobuster is met with
a boot to the little Rey. Inferno wants to check on his partner - who
wants no part of this - in fact, he rolls him up for 2! Brief discussion
ensues and Rey offers the Hand of Friendship - and gutshot and DDT. Don't
Trust Nobody! Storm tags himself in (sorta) and hits a springboard
dropkick - Rey saves Disco at 2. Into the ropes, Mysterio with his
trademark spin - dumping Storm on the apron - gutshot - Storm caught up in
the ropes for the legdrop from the top - 2 count saved by Kidman. Into the
ropes, of the ropes, Mysterio ducks it - Kidman puts him on top - Mysterio
elbow - Frankensteiner attempt caught - POWERBOMB - 2, save by Inferno.
Kidman and Inferno going - Disco with a piledriver for 2, *Storm* making
the save. Mysterio dropkicks Kidman outside and rolls out after him while,
in the ring, Storm puts Disco in the corner - elbow up, but when Disco
charges, Storm hits the rolling half crab - I don't know if the
commentators knew that that was his move? Anyway, Kidman is in to save--oh
no, he pulls up instead. Smart move! Disco taps and Lance Storm is your
winner. (Call 4:11) Kidman and Storm slap hands after the match.
GENE O. works tonight! He stands with Buff Bagwell and Booker T. - Go
figure, Bagwell has designs on the World Heavyweight championship. They do
the Wonder Twin Powers touch and Bagwell takes off. T says he's decided
HE'LL write a book: "Positively Kanyon's Greatest Moments," despite the
fact that there aren't any - but we'll get past that. "Chapter 1: Kanyon
Sucks. Chapter 2: Kanyon STILL Sucks. Chapter 3: Guess What - Kanyon
Sucks Again. But let us not forget Chapter 4: This Sunday, Bash at the
Beach, Kanyon Craps His Pants Like a Little Baby - and I know u can dig
Trainer Danny Young brings the bolt cutters and frees the now extra
crispy Perfect Event - then fingers Woody as the man what brung the chains
Let Us Take You Back to Monday Night Where the Dragons Were No Match For
The Right Hand Of Tank - after the match, Cat said he had a proposition for
them...ahh, we are told that this has something to do with what Cat was
talking about earlier.
CAT hits the ring. "Now, I'm gonna demonstrate to you people just how bad
I am, I'm gonna call these mean tough guys over here. Now, if you people
don't shut up when I finish with these boys, I'm gon' take it out on you
people! Come on out here, boys!" The JUNG DRAGONS hit the ring. "Okay
boys, now we gon' do this thing nice and slow, because I wanna show all my
fans out there just how GREAT I am - I got to be the--" and he gets jumped.
I guess this isn't a match as there's no ref out there. Three-way beatdown
with a multitude of moves. Cat ends up sliding out of the ring, berating
the Dragons for messing up his "demonstration." Cat baack in the ring -
and bowing. The Dragons decide to bow as well - Cat superkicks all three
men in rapid succession. Brief flurries of offense for the Dragons - but
only one man at a time, and Cat has no problems dealing with them in turn.
Highlight: a testicular claw on Kaz. As they all end up outside the ring,
Cat declares the demonstration over and asks the audience to give them a
hand. "All right, Mike Tyson, you want some? Oh...sorry ma'am, you just
LOOK like Mike Tyson!" Cat asks for his music to be hit and he starts
Meanwhile, in the truck, Palumbo & Stasiak find Woody and ... well, I
believe they issue a challenge. Unfortunately, I can't make out a WORD
Jimmy Barron phones in the Road Report with 1-800-CAL-LATT - Nitro hits the
Jacksonville, Florida Colesium
Cat tells the Dragons he had a lot of fun - then he pays them off. They
turn happy as they count their money...
Let Us Take You Back to Monday as Asya went down - and Vampiro jobbed again
WORLD HARDCORE TITLE: BIG VITO v. DEMON - Vito walks around backstage and
finds the sarcophagus - problem is, Demon wasn't in it. Hey, I heard that
if you REALLY scour WrestleLine, you'll find out ahead-of-time what's gonna
happen in that Graveyard match Sunday before it EVEN happens! Then you'll
have to ask yourself once again if it's worth the thirty bones.
After four minutes of "hardcore" action, JOBBIN' VAMPIRO appears at
the top of the ramp with shovel in hand....and he breaks it over his back.
Vito gives Vampiro a look - he shrugs and takes off. Vito covers for the
pin. (5:03) Vampiro has the stick: "Tonight, I let you live. But Sunday
night, it's done." See, Violent J's gonna...oops, I've said too much.
Gene O. stands with Awesome Mike Awesome - he'll have no problems with Rick
Steiner tonight, seeing as he's 2-0 against brother Scott. Gene takes
umbrage - Awesome says he's got video proof - and presents a doctored
pastiche of Scott Steiner running away as Silverman and Awesome count to
ten. That RULED. Gene turns to the camera after he exits and exclaims
"What a freaky mullet!" Awesome: (offstage) "Hey! I'm not a mullet!"
Sunday. Bash at the Beach. Live and only on pay-per-view! Thanks, Master
Franchise and Kanyon have a few words about who'll get the pinfall for
their team in their upcoming match.
Here's A Series of Flashbacks to the Wacky World of Woody Kearce and the
PERFECT EVENT v. WOODY KEARCE - Champs work REALLY HARD to sell their
"sunburn" by going "ooh, ooh, ow, ooh" a lot. Hopefully, they're just
painted up and didn't really sit in the tanning bed....this is WCW, so you
never really know. Referee "Blind" Charles Robinson gives it a "damn, you
guys look sad" look. Stasiak: "Hey Woody, you little television production
puke! Bring your skinny, bald-headed...redneck carcass out here now.
Sunburn or not, in this event, we're gonna smoke you with perfection!"
Kearce comes out to some bluegrass and removes his shirt. His posing
routine apparently involves putting his shoulderblade out of alignment.
Schiavone mentions "Deliverance." Kearce: "Where's your army?" He
introduces his...BRIAN ADAMS. Tenay says that Adams told him Bryan Clark
was smoking weed last night (I think that's what he said) and that's why
he's not around tonight. Adams manages to overpower both men while Woody,
out on the apron, slaps men in the back as they approach him. See, it
HURTS because they're SUNBURNED. Anyway, the two FINALLY get control over
the one, but as they go to put Adams in a double suplex, Woody comes in
with a *devastating* slap to the sunburned backs and both men go "ooh, ooh,
ow, ooh." Adams delivers some knife-edge chops to the sunburn.
Apparently, the crowd is chanting "We Want Woody" but not loud enough to
take out the canned stuff you and I are hearing. Full nelson into a
chokeslam for Palumbo - Adams calls in Kearce to help him deliver High Time
to Stasiak. He tells Woody to cover him for the pin. Woody says "but I'm
not the legal man - oh what the hell" and puts his knees on Stasiak's arms
- 1, 2, 3. (2:51) Schiavone proclaims this segment "a Thunder moment."
Heenan says "Deliverance." I say "Damn, it's JUST GREAT that they fired
all the luchadores so they could get the GUY WORKING IN THE TRUCK over."
Backstage, Terry Funk arrives - Big Vito, spying him - takes out his title
belt and waffles Funk with it. Then he takes his Staten Island Stickball
Stick to him repeatedly. Meanwhile, a security guy JUST STANDS THERE and
does NOTHING! Come on, dude! It's happening RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! He's
Bash at the Beach: Goldberg vs. Nash - for Scott Hall's contract -
over/under on Nash pushing back his hair is 21
Vito decides to take off
Let Us Take You Back to Last Week where Kanyon took a brick to Bagwell -
and Monday where Booker T hit the worst uranage ever (thanks to Franchise
not knowing what he was supposed to be selling) only to fall prey to
Kanyon's post-match cheap shot
"THE FRANCHISE" SHANE DOUGLAS (with TV-PG-DLV ratings box) and "POSITIVELY"
KANYON v. BUFF DADDY BAGWELL and BOOKA T with the man scoring the fall
getting a title shot - well, at least the name "Shane Douglas" made the
chyron this week. Who's gonna start? Bagwell and T have a brief discussio
about who will start. Kanyon over with a shove - T and Bagwell share a
look...and BOTH go after him. We see Jarrett watching things on a monitor
backstage. Off the ropes, double gutshot, double suplex. Bagwell starts
pinwheeling, so referee "Blind" Mickie Jay arbitrarily decides that HE is
the one who should go to the corner. Head to the buckle by Booker, right,
chop, "uhhhhhh!", Kanyon puts him into the corner, but eats a boot.
Spinning Harlem side kick. Gutshot, off the ropes, axe kick coming up -
bingo. Kanyon crawls to his corner...Franchise drops down. HE doesn't
want the tag. Bagwell starts a "Franchise sucks" chant to kill some time.
Kanyon decides to lock it up again, arm wringer by T, face rake by Kanyon.
Side headlock, powering off the ropes, blind tag by Bagwell, surprise
crossbody hits Kanyon, but Jay is busy explaining to T that he was tagged
out - and as a result, only gets to 2 once he gets to counting. Brief
argument from Bagwell. Into the ropes, Kanyon ducks, gutshot by Bagwell,
DDT, Bagwell decides to pose - and flip a bird to Douglas. Right hand,
right, into the ropes, reversed, Douglas puts a knee to the back and ducks
Bagwell's swing - Kanyon hits the distracted Bagwell and a side Russian
legsweep - 1, 2, kickout. Again Kanyon offers the hand - again Douglas
doesn't want the tag. Kanyon rolled up by surprise - 1, 2, no. Pounding
on Bagwell, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, hiptoss countered with
a swinging neckbreaker. NOW Douglas wants the tag...Kanyon walking over -
nope, there's a rude hand gesture instead. Kanyon back over - knee on the
larynx for 4. Shoulderdrive - into the opposite corner, running at
Bagwell and running into an elbow. Vaderbomb gets 2. Motioning for the
blockbuster...Kanyon stumbling into it! 1, 2, Douglas breaks up the pin,
then takes Bagwell to the outside - unfortunately, too close to Booker T,
who tags himself in on the way. T motions to Jay, who motions back -
that's the legal guy over there! Kanyon runs into the "Book End" - 1, 2,
3. (4:14) I guess it ain't the "110th Street Slam" no more - maybe it
never was. Anyway, don't you DARE call it "Rock Bottom." Booker T. takes
on Jeff Jarrett for the world title tonight. Bagwell offers the handshake
post-match. He still gets to pinwheel, so it's all good.
The Misfits in Action huddle up.
For the WCW World Heavyweight Title - Jarrett vs. Hogan. Say...shouldn't
that be *Booker T vs. Hogan*?
Let Us Take A Special Video Look at Jeff Jarrett Talking About Hulk Hogan
And Also Bringing Out The Fat Chicks
Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim (no Savage), Super Soaker,
America (ha!) Online, Boston Market TV dinners, Motel 6 7/8, and Stone
Street Capital's cash scam
Backstage, Crowbar - arrives! Behind him...and unknown to him...is
Meanwhile, at the dressing room marked "Rick Steiner," Mike Awesome walks
in...checks to make sure he isn't there...and sprays something on his
sunglasses. Golly, I hope that cameraman warns Steiner when he shows up!
DE JUICE & TYGRESS (already in the ring) v. LT. LOCO & MAJ. GUNNS in mixed
tag action - At Bash at the Beach, the two men in this match will grapple
for the cruiserweight title. Feel the awesome power of the brave corporate
logo - whoooooosh. For some reason, Guerrera's pants keep falling down.
After taking his beating, Guerrera decides to tag in Tygress. Loco
actually tags in Gunns. They don't lock up - Guerrera is tagged back in.
Gunns starts to rip her shirt...then tries a kick - Guerrera catches it.
He rares up to punch her - but doesn't. So she kickis him in the 'nads. I
think we've all learned a valuable lesson here. Tygress tagged in. Are
they gonna do it or not? Oh....yup. The men pull them apart. Well, hell,
what's the POINT of this as a MATCH then? They go back at it. Gunns
manages to just barely scoop slam Tygress without falling over...well,
actually she DOES fall over, but let's give an E for effort. Juice decides
to scoop up Gunns, but Loco turns it over into the Slop Drop position,
takes over for her - and slams him on his back. He asks Gunns to cover him
- but Tygress trips her up from the outside. THEY go at it again while
Guerrera rolls over to the corner with the cruiserweight title in it.
Referee "Blind" Jamie Tucker checking on Gunns, who is writhing around in
pain. Juice gets a waffle in on Loco and there's your ballgame. 1, 2, 3.
(3:31) Golly, doesn't this make you EXCITED to watch them go at it for the
strap on Sunday? Isn't your wallet just ITCHING with thirty dollars that
DEMAND to be spent buying the opportunity to view...ahh, you've heard it
Backstage, we see Steiner put on his sunglasses...and gives us "ohhh, my
eyes hurt," and call for the trainer. Noooooo! Don't rinse with DASANI!!
*WHY* didn't the cameraman WARN him? That HEARTLESS BASTARD
Advance Auto Parts presents "This Week in WCW Motorsports!" This is
Daytona. This is Wally Dallenbach driving the #75 Ford at Daytona. This
is restrictor plate bitching. Hey, Goldberg likes racing! Too bad he's a
heel...no, wait... Anyway, Dallenbach score a "top 25 finish"
(translation: he finished 25th). Next week, back to Blaise Alexander!
Gene O. stands once again with Booker T. Never in his wildest dreams did
he envision that he'd come into the arena tonight and walk out with the
title. Sunday night it'll be strictly business when he beats up Kanyon -
but tonight, it'll be his pleasure to defeat Jarrett for the title. Now
can u dig that.
Here's a Special Video Look at Vampiro and What He's Done to Sting - lots
of clips of (old) Sting - and What's Coming Up with Demon. Also some clips
of "the burn unit" - the final one of an empty bed...with a Sting mask on
it. The canned crowd noise goes WILD!
Commentators wonder aloud where Sting might be. Crowd actually musters a
"We want Sting!" chant.
Yesterday, from Florida, Mike Tenay interviews Hacksaw Jim Duggan, who
shares a sofa with his wife Deborah. Duggan says he has a couple cracked
ribs and there was a little internal bleeding, but physically, he'll be
fine. Emotionally...there are still a lot of bridges to cross.
Last Monday, he did what he had to do - he wasn't gonna let the Cat
try to intimidate him, and he wasn't going to back away from Goldberg.
Have all the politics affected him? He's always loved the sport, and he
always WILL love the sport. WCW is just an extension of society - there
may be lots of bad people out there...but there are also lots of GOOD
people out there. "I've been here in WCW before Russo got here - and I'll
be here in WCW after Russo's gone." Duggan thanks the fans for all their
continued support and vows that he WILL be back...for them. Then he winks
with each eye just in case we missed it the first time. Unfortunately,
Tenay fails to ask him what's up with the World Television title.
Promotional consideration paid for by Motel 6 7/8 (2), Corn Nuts, Bubble
Yum, America (ha!) Online (2), Boston Market freezer chicken (2), and Super
Crowbar is WALKING! And looking for David Flair. He finds him...with Miss
Hancock in his lap. Crowbar roughs him up and they start out towards
ringside. We look back at the door to see Miss Hancock running after them
with the pipe that Crowbar left behind...
Gene O. stands with Jeff Jarrett, who busts out "Jurassic Slapass" and
disses Booker T. Crowd randomly swells and bursts into spontaneous
applause. Jarrett tells him to send a message to the Cat - he's starting
something he can't finish...
Steiner gets his eyes checked by trainer Danny Young.
Let Us Take You Back to Monday and the Ongoing Saga of David and Daffney
As we come back to ringside, CROWBAR is dragging out DAVID FLAIR and
brawling with him all the way to the ring. Referee "Blind" Billy Silverman
is in the ring, so I guess we have a match here. Slingshot press gets 2.
Crowbar with a chop. Chop, into the ropes, big back body drop. Crowbar
going to the top floor - Flair shoves Silverman into the ropes, crotching
Crowbar. Flair with an elbow, another elbow, a chop, second
rope...SUPERPLEX! WHOOOOOSH 4 DAYS LOGO WHOOOOSH - Flair with the woooo
and figure four. Here comes MISS HANCOCK who holds the pipe for Flair -
this, I guess, is "leverage." Silverman counts 2 a couple times, then
notices the doin's and breaks the hold. Flair up to argue with Silverman -
there's a shove into a schoolboy for 2. Crowbar argues the count - HE gets
shoved into a schoolboy for 2. Crowbar with a choke on Flair - Hancock
gets in the ring - but Silverman stands in front of her and "no, no."
Flair manages a nutshot uppercut behind Silverman's back. DAFFNEY UNGER is
out and trying to wrest the pipe from Hancock - after a brief tug-o-war,
Hancock ends up falling backwards when Daffney lets go. Hancock removes
her jacket as Daffney hits the ring - but she brandishes a pair of clippers
and Hancock begs off. The chase is on and Silverman is appropriately
distracted. Flair gets a shove from Daffney as he tries to get between
them. Blind pipe to the gut by Crowbar. Mindbender for Flair - 1, 2, 3.
(3:02) Crowbar puts Flair in a choke and calls over DAVID PENZER, who
holds the mic while he holds Flair. "Daffney, get down here, you gotta
hear somethin'. Daffney get down here. David, you listen and you better
listen real good. I'm gonna ask you two simple questions, and if you do
not answer me with the truth, I'm gonna wind up and your head's gonna wind
up in the twelfth row. Tell me: who shaved her head? Who was it?" "I'm
sorry - she made me do it." "So who did it? Who did it?" "She did it."
"Number two: are you or are you not messing around on Daffney?" "Nah, nah,
nah, no." "I'm gonna wind up - your head's gonna go right out there, you
better tell the truth right now." "I'm sorry, I did it - I did it." "So,
now that that's all squared away...there really is nothing keeping me from
puttin' your head out in the third row! Batters up, baby!" Placing Flair
on the apron...Daffney walks over and slaps him one...then stomps off.
"Daffney! I only wanted you to hear the truth!" Crowbar takes off after
NEXT: Mike Awesome is WALKING!
Meanwhile, Rick Steiner is WALKING!
Closed captioning where available provided by Meineke!
Hancock tells trainer Danny Young that her leg is injured - no, higher -
no, higher. Flair hits the frame and makes with the screaming. Young
tries to tell him that Hancock told him her leg was injured. "No, I
didn't!" Flair throws a mean elbow, then grabs the clippers and starts to
shave him. After seeing this, I only have one question: what the heck did
Hancock do with Los Fabulosos?
Let Us Take You Back to Monday Night where Awesome took a countout
"victory" on Scott Steiner - only to feel the wrath of Rick Steiner.
AWESOME MULLET v. RICK WOOF WOOF - Sign in crowd says "awsome mullet."
*Where's my damn cheque?* Steiner continues to sell partial blindness -
not that it should affect his wrestling style, yuk yuk yuk. Awesome
quickly takes control as Steiner enters the ring and doesn't let up.
Awesome Splash only gets 2. Into the ropes, Steiner ducks, Steiner turns a
leapfrog into a Dangerous Backdrop. Steinerline. Belly-to-belly. 1, 2,
Awesome kicks out. Awesome punches and tosses Steiner through the ropes.
Into the barricade. Awesome going under the ring for an Awesome
table...and puts it in the ring. Having set it up in the corner, her
returns to Steiner - forearm, forearm, got him up for the crucifix bomb,
but Steiner breaks free and muscles Awesome shoulder-first into the table.
Steiner goes outside and finds a steel chair - referee "Blind" Mark Johnson
takes it away from him, and while he puts it away Awesome maces him once
again. 1, 2, 3. (2:23) Awesome quickly looks for some mullet signs to
NEXT: Jeff Jarrett is WALKING!
Meanwhile, Booker T. is WALKING!
Let Us Take You Back to Monday where Booker T. pinned Franchise - and also
displayed some leadership during the battle royal. Earlier tonight, he
pinned Kanyon (oops, they forgot to turn the sound off during this replay)
to get his spot in THIS match...
WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET v. BOOKA T. - this
is a personal dream matchup of mine, by the way. That's not sarcasm.
Champion enters first because it's all the rage with the kids. By the way,
who scripted Jarrett actually saying "El Kabong" and *where's my damn
cheque?* T fires up the crowd as we start. Lockup faked, one more. Back
to the centre of the ring, lockup, side headlock by T, chain wrestling,
back to the headlock, Jarrett powers out, big shoulderblock off the ropes
by T. They go to lock up again but Jarrett takes the shortcut to the eyes.
Uppercut elbow, off the ropes, Jarrett with a shoulderblock, up and over
off the ropes, T leapfrog, NICE dropkick, clothesline takes Jarrett to the
outside! T to the apron - off the ropes with the double axehandle to the
shoulderblades. Hard into the barricade. T takes Jarrett's head to the
commentary table. "Uhhhhh!" Back into the ring, right hand, knife-edge
chop, into the ropes, reversal by Jarrett, to the sleeper. T turns it into
a Jarrett side headlock - shoves him out - and puts on a sleeper of his own
- Jarrett counters by picking him up and dropping the knee across his own
knee. Straight into a figure four. T fighting it - or trying to - but
it's wearing him down. T screaming out - the shoulders are down and
referee "Blind" Charles Robinson counts - 1, 2, shoulder up. T trying to
turn it...reaching for the bottom rope instead. Jarrett lets go of the
hold but IMMEDIATELY stomps on the knee to continue the damage. Stomp,
stomp, stomp, right, right, right, right, T down on the mat and Jarrett on
the second turnbuckle to work the crowd. Into the ropes, T ducks, double
clothesline and BOTH men are down. Robinson puts on the count as the crowd
counts along. Jarrett up at 7 - T up to block, right, right, right, into
the ropes, Jarrett holding on, T reversing, knee to the gut, off the ropes
with the axe kick! T breakdances back up and hits the spinebuster - ONLY
2!! T ready for it - motioning to the crowd - but the Harlem sidekick
MISSES when Jarrett ducks and the momentum carries Booker T all the way to
the ropes, landing on the top rope and falling to the apron! T to the
floor - Jarrett wants to go out after him but Robinson is holding him
back...and missing "POSITIVELY" KANYON out to hit his second Kanyon Cutter
on Booker T this week (and the first one commentators actually saw) - T's
lifeless form is rolled back in as Kanyon hugs the floor. Jarrett hooks a
leg but it isn't necessary. 1, 2, 3. (5:00) Schiavone: "That's a
travesty of justice! The man - the man would have won this thing - and he
was jobbed out of it by a DDP impersonator!" Heenan: "Aww, quit cryin'.
What, did you bet on him?" Hey, CAT is out! "Wait a minute! Hey, Chris
Kanyon, didn't I tell you no interferin'? Didn't I tell you there was no
interferin' in any of my matches? I want you to get your DDP-lookin' ass
outta here!" Kanyon looks back on his way out. "Don't you even think
about it! Now, referee, referee I want you to restart this match right
now! I want you to restart this match right now, referee. It ain't me you
want - it's in the ring!" Jarrett continues to bitch with Cat - at arm's
reach now - but T is over from behind - right, right, right - Cat actually
runs Jarrett back to the ring and rolls him back in! Booker T joins him
there - rollup - 1, 2, KICKOUT!! Into the ropes, backdrop - countered with
a Sunset flip attempt - T stops is and crouches on him - another 2! Into
the corner, Jarrett puts up a boot - runs into a powerslam. T motioning to
the crowd - climbing up for the missile dropkick! IT HITS! 1, 2, but T
ended up putting Jarrett's foot over the bottom rope while he was hooking
the leg (Heenan: "Dummy!") T looking for something else to do...Jarrett
manages to run him into the corner turnbuckle. Jarrett runs at T, who
ducks - Robinson takes the brunt. T hits the Book End uranage, but there's
no referee. T counts his own pinfall...but it doesn't count. Cat is over
to check on Robinson - and removing his shirt! Jarrett has the belt - but
T hits a Harlem sidekick to the belt! AGAIN Jarrett is down for longer
than three seconds, but by the time Cat puts the zebra over his neck and
hits the ring - Jarrett kicks out at 2. Even the music guy is fooled for
about half a second as the Kraftwerk "Yes" goes over the PA. Into the
ropes, head down, uppercut from Jarrett. He's going for the gee-tar - T
running at him and getting dumped to the outside. Cat spins around Jarrett
to ask him about the guitar - and finds out firsthand as Jarrett kabongs
him. Jarrett takes the title belt and runs off as referees Billy Silverman
and Jamie Tucker hit the ring and call for the bell - Booker T. will win
this night...but unfortunately, it'll be by disqualification. Jarrett will
keep the title. (DQ +2:31)
If nothing else, I think we settled a few facts that SHOULD have been
previously known... but if they weren't, they're definitely better known
1) Booker T. can be carried
2) Jeff Jarrett can carry
Guess what? Tonight, you got a glimpse. THIS is the future that will make
WCW money. I wonder if anybody who isn't me is smart enough to pick up on
it? AND I wonder if we can get there despite the seven quarters of
gar-bahj that polluted up the show before the main?
I also wonder if Booker T. vs. Kanyon is enough to get me to order this
show. Eh, we all know I'll order it anyway, right?
Christopher Robin Zimmerman