I've been reading your reports for a while now but just wanted to thank you for maintaining a consistent level of brilliance. There have been so many Nitros I have watched (increasingly more and more so these days) where I come out of it feeling like the only redeeming factor will be reading your report afterward so that I might gain "perspective." Ha ha. Seriously, great stuff. Keep it up.

That was from Kim...two years ago today.

Wow, she still speaks to me!

QUICK QUOTES: AOL 47.94 (- 4.67), TWX 72.51 (- 5.29 - last year this time 60 7/8), SPLN 8 7/8 (- 43/64 - last year this time 31 13/16 - hey, why are the WrestleLine producers always crying?)

Australia clips - close captioned logo

Opening credits

Hit the PYRO 'cause we are LIVE from the Alltel Arena in Little Rock, AR 24.10.2K and in FULL-ON COAST MODE BABY - Russo's off watching the World Series but the show must go on...the show on TNT...the show...named...WCW MONDAY NITRO!

PERFECT EVENT (with Let Us Take You Back...and Kevin Nash) v. HARRYS BRYTHYRZ - If you haven't heard, Scott Hall was released last week - with any luck, Nash will let us in on it sometime tonight. The "Last Call Hall" shirt may be an indicator. I hear that Scott Keith is gonna sue for royalties 'cause HE invented that slogan. So help me out here...the face team in this match has GOT to be...umm....who? Don and Stasiak start. Lockup, knee by Stasiak, right, right, into the ropes, knee, off the ropes with the swinging neckbreaker, mute, kick, kick, kick, into the opposite corner, boots up by Heavy D, big clothesline. Big clothesline. Big clothesline. Stasiak falls on his own and makes the tag. Hey, 6 days until Halloween Havoc - I hope we see that graphic ALL NIGHT. Lockup, to the face. In the corner, repeated head to the gut, opposite corner, clothesline, back that way, elbow up by Palumbo, Jungle kick, springboard dropkick for Ron on the apron. Stevie Ray is ACTUALLY SUCKING ON PALUMBO'S WANG RIGHT NOW. Palumbo wants the tag, but Stasiak is busy mugging to the crowd, so D recovers and gives Palumbo a surprise attack from the rear, ho ho ho. Off the ropes, clothesline. Put in the corner for Ron to attack while D talks to referee "Blind" Charles Robinson. Tag to Ron, into the corner with the head to the buckle, into the opposite corner, feet up, head scissors by Palumbo. Dropkick to D as he comes in. Palumbo with another argument for Stasiak...and Perfectshawn drops off the apron instead of tagging! Palumbo turns around...into a big clothesline from Big Ron. Into the ropes, two heads down, Palumbo with a kick to Ron, punch to Don, off the ropes, oops caught in the H Bomb. Big Ron covers - 1, 2, 3. (2:49) Nash hits the ring and has some words for Stasiak - who bumps Nash - who shoves him into the corner and threatens to unleash the right hand. Palumbo pulls him off at the last minute. Nash tries to make his eyes flash like in the opening credits, but it doesn't work. Stasiak walks off...I think. We keep watching Nash. The whole WORLD revolves around Kevin Nash. "I'll tell you something right now, fellas. Stasiak, tonight, is gonna learn a little something called tough love...from the Coach. You won't see it on Vivid Video, baby." NASH WATCHES PORN! I *KNEW* IT!

WCW Magazine ad

"Cops vs. Fireman" this Friday on FX's "Toughman 911!" WOW!

PAMELA PAULSHOCK stands with Mike Sanders, who accuses her of trying to make it with him, and then guarantees that Cat has no chance in hell at Halloween Havoc. For our viewing pleasure, he's booked a three round kickboxing match as well.

This portion of Monday Nitro is brought to you by Castrol Motor Oily!

GENE O. works tonight! And he welcomes out BOOKA T. He loves me, too! The past three months have been a rollercoaster ride from hell, but no matter what they've thrown at him, he's kept on keepin' on...for the fans.

When we come back, it's...a replay! Special attention is paid to Awesome beating on Steiner.

Paulshock stands with Steiner and Midajah. I smell another award winning promo from the Pump! "Warmup match? Booker T, you're ass is kicked as far as you...Mike Awesome, I'm looking at a dead man! I'm gonna hit you're retro ass so f-hard, you're gonna wish you were in the seventies. Matter of fact, right now I want you to write down exactly what you're thinking. Write it down, because when I come back, I wanna know what it's like for a lamb to go to slaughter! You got that? What the lamb goes, come on Awesome, baaaaaaaaaaaa, come to slaughter, eh baaaaa, come on Awesome, your ass is mine!"

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"ABOVE AVERAGE" MIKE SANDERS is out. "Lemme tell you something, Cat. Ya come out here week after week and you run your damn mouth about I'm the greatest - I'm the 40, 50, 60, 70 time world karate champion? Well lemme tell you something, Cat - you don't come from where I come from. Brother, I live on Badstreet USA - the further down the road you go, the worst it gets, and I live the last damn house on the right! So lemme tell you something, Cat, at Halloween Havoc, you're definitely gonna find out what it means to be SOL (and you know what that means). Now, for you're viewing pleasure, I've put together a little three round exhibition with some of the absolute toughest talent in WCW - so boys, it's just an ass-whuppin', so come on out." The opposition is the JUNG DRAGONS (with Leia Meow). Sanders makes a big show out of putting some sort of liquid on his gloves...behind the back of referee "Blind" William Gibson (who?).

Round one - Jamie-san ducks a punch and repeatedly strikes the head, kicks, Gibson breaks it up in the corner. There's a sixty second clock in the corner. Sanders apparently rubs Jamie's eye with his glove, and Jamie-san gets to rubbing his eyes as if blinded. Three rights and Jamie's down. Arm falls three times. That's it. (:46?) NITRO GRRL SYRYN displays a card for the next round.

Round two - Yang is the next sucker. Sanders with a windmill, but Yang sneaks in the right, hundred hands, to the corner, more punching, Sanders with a headlock and then rubbing the glove into Yang, blinding HIM. They aren't even bothering with a clock. Sanders back to the windmill with the right - and a left hook to take him down. This one's about (:31)

Round three - Kaz is in, but Sanders is trying to load up his gloves again. Syren is in but Kaz is too busy attacking - camera splits the difference and shows us NOTHING. Kaz on the offense - it's all Kaz - big kick.

Now, just for fun, Leia Meow is in - kick in the nuts has no effect, other than hurting her foot. Sanders shows off his cup, puts the mysterious liquid all over it (ewww), and before he can rub it in her face, MZ. JONEZ is out. Sanders offers a free cup for HER, but she just stands there showing off Cat's cape...must mean CAT is going to sneak up from behind, Feliner, crotch chops, play his music, James Brown impersonation, replay. Let's be kind and sum it up with: This segment wasn't exactly the greatest.

Halloween Havoc promo

KRONI>| are out to ask for some beer money. "You know, this thing with Kronik versus Goldberg started out as just business, nothing personal. We were hired and being paid a lot of money for two reasons. First of all, we are the most unstoppable force in WCW. And second of all, they knew that Goldberg's huge ego wouldn't allow him to turn down a match, even against Kronik. Well things have changed, haven't they Goldberg? Yeah, this has gotten real personal. The fact is, you can take the money, you can take the winning streak, you can take your career, Goldberg, and stick it. Because at Halloween Havoc, we've got more to lose than you do. That's right, if we beat you, people will say, yeah, it was two monsters against one - we shoulda won. But Goldberg, if you win, that'll make you not only the baddest man in WCW, but undoubtedly the baddest man on the face of the planet. Now, back here in the real world, that's not gonna happen. You see, Goldberg, when the walls of reality come crashing down on you, you will then understand exactly what I'm talking about. And you will damn sure know why it's all about Kronik." "And speaking of business, I don't know how these guys got the money to hire Kronik, but they did, so 3 COUNT, come on out." Hey, THEY'RE gonna talk as well. Moore first: "Hey, cut the music! Comin' straight from a sellout concert, 3 Count's in the house for the ladies that like to love." Karagias: "And you know 3 Count's fulla love and the ladies, but we're also for dem ho's. Now tell them what's in store, Sugar Shane." Helms: "Tonight, there will be no interruptions, 'cause WCW's greatest entertainers, the Kings of Pop, 3 Count, have hired the men who at Halloween Havoc will bring the mighty Goldberg down. So for the two you know, and the one's you've yet to hear, we're going to perform them all - from now until the end of the show." Clark: "How many songs you gonna play?" "Baby, we're gonna play them all." Kronik discusses it over. Clark: "You know what, there's been a little change in plans - you guys don't have enough money for us to sit through that crap."

KRONI>| v. 3 COUNT - Where'd referee "Blind" Mark Johnson come from? There's the "NBA starts 1 November" graphic. This, friends, is 3 Count getting a PUSH. High Time, Clark covers Sugar Shane Helms. 1, 2, 3. (0:59)

When we come back, Paulshock asks Nash what he meant by tough love. "You know, Stasiak, to me, has got a lot of potential, and unlike this company, I don't

Promotional consideration paid for by Nitro: the trading card game, Tootsie candies, America (ha!) Online, Toy Story 2, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, Tootsie candies, and Tootsie candies.

And Tootsie candies.

Here comes ... the SECOND FAMILY, dressed as Team Canada. The trigger happy censor actually mutes a "Rection." Rection is Storm, Cajun is...a moose. A-Wall is Duggan ("hoooooo!") and Loco is Skipper. "If I could be serious for a moment..." "Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, you're belt's upside down, man." (looking down) "Not from where I'm standing." "All right, that's good enough for me, go ahead." "Allow me to introduce Canada's greatest athletes. To my left, a hundred ounces and under, ex-Champion, Whine Time. Directly in back of me, turncoat traitor. Jigsaw Jim Jughead. And unlike the Americans, Canada has never lost a war." "Now, wait, of course we've never been in a war, eh?" "Unlike the Americans, there has never been a need for a war on drugs in Canada." "That's because all we do is drink beer - Molson, eh?" "And unlike you Americans, we have never had a political sex scandal." "Well, that's because all of our politicians are virgins." "Like myself." "USA USA USA" "Hey men, hey hey hey, why don't you chant Canada?" "'cause I can't spell Canada! Hoooooo!" A-Wall swings his ten foot long board, and they all duck. Loco is six octaves higher. "Ahhhh! I built this house, you know what I'm talkin' about? You don't want none o' whine time and my Mr. T starter kit! There ain't nooooobody tougher than whiiine time. 'cept that little girl right there. Maybe that old lady right up there. But you know who I am, whine time! I've been in the CFL - the reeeeeal football league, the Canadian Football League! I was so good, I played TWOOOOO positions - guard and tackle. I guarded the water, if someone tried to get it I tackled him!" "You're not even Canadian, Whine Time!" "Neither am I, tough guy! Hooooooooo!" "Waitwaitwaitwait - speaking of Team Canada, how come there couldn't be four members? I mean, it ain't like I could be Major Gunns, 'cause, I mean, she's with us! And since I don't have my own caribou hoof, I'm stuck bein' the big stupid Canadian moose." "Hey hey hey I thought *I* was the only big stupid Canadian moose, tough guy! Hooooooo!" "Now, if I can be serious for a minute...." Halloween Havoc graphic. Rection removes his wig. "Team Canada, you started a war that the Misfits are gonna finish! Storm - Duggan - I will take everything you Great North Geeks have to offer, and then I will take the US title! I will take Major Gunns! And in case you haven't been paying attention, we all just took your dignity. Now hit OUR music!" LISTEN TO THAT CROWD! Hey, don't get me wrong - that would have been funny...if I cared. It doesn't help when the commentators fall over themselves laughing just to let me know *funny* it is.

And Tootsie candies.

Paulshock stands with Awesome. "I'm not a sheep, and I'm not coming to any slaughter, 'cause I'm gonna kick your butt tonight!" Awesome says it's a warmup for HIS title shot next Monday. Then he says "nyah."

PERFECTSHAWN STASIAK hits the ring with KEVIN NASH, MIKE SANDERS, MARK JINDRAK & SEAN O'HAIRE right behind. "Four years and four months ago, two guys walked into World Championship Wrestling. One of 'em was me, the other one was a guy called Scott Hall. You see, Shawn, we exemplified what a team was - both shoot and work. Our success is documented in the record books. Arguably the greatest tag team of all time. What stands before you tonight is the elite - the future of this business. (NBA starts 1 November) For some reason, you don't wanna be a part of this. So tonight, young man, since you wanna be alone, tonight you STAND alone."

PERFECTSHAWN STASIAK v. COLD "11-0" BEER (entrance

Jeff Jarrett shills Tracfone. Did I miss one of these earlier? Think I'll go back and check? OH HO HO NO

Thunder ad still has Bret Hart in it - ooooooh

Halloween Havoc promo

ACHTUNG ACHTUNG HIER IST ALEX WRIGHT (with Disqo and the TV-14-DL ratings box) v. MARK JINDRAK (with Sean O'Haire) v. BILLY KIDMAN (with Raymond Stereo & Tygryss) in a three-way dance - New to the Halloween Havoc card is a three-way dance for the tag team titles - Jindrak & O'Haire vs. Filthy Animals vs. Boogie Knights! "Yo yo yo, let ME speak on this! I promised a huge announcement on WCW Live, and when I make a promise, I deliver! Now me and Alex aren't going to insult the intelligence of the fans - but the question going around that could change the face of WCW forever...it's getting to the point in the locker room and in the WCW office, where people just can't ignore it anymore. The question has to be asked, and there must be an ouncer - an announcement - so tonight, I am here to announce that me and Alex are gonna get to the bottom of it. 'cause everybody wants to know...who let the dogs out and where're they at? That's right. We're starting our investigation right here in Little Rock, Arkansas. If you, or someone you know let the dogs out, PLEASE feel free to step forward and tell us. And if you know where the dogs are at, or how many dogs there are, please let us know, because there's a lot of jerks driving around Little Rock and we don't want the dogs getting hit by a car. So tonight, me and Alex are getting to the bottom of this mystery once and for all, so we would like to thank you for your cooperation in this matter." Konnan takes on Franchise later tonight, thus he isn't out now. Kidman ducks a double clothesline and dropkicks Jindrak. Wright heelkicks Jindrak. Wright holding him for a knife-edge chop by Kidman, a slap, kick, forearm, now Kidman holds him for Wright to chop him. Into the ropes, two heads down, Jindrak kicks Kidman, Wright tries a clothesline, but Jindrak ducks, and Wright takes out Kidman instead. Wright is happy to team with either of them. Double stompdown on Kidman. Into the ropes, pushing him up, but Kidman dropkicks Wright on his way down. Jindrak with a tilt-a-whirl slam on Kidman. Wright with a German suplex on Jindrak - Kidman sweeps the leg to break it up. Punching away on Wright - on the second rope - up for a Ten Punch Count Along but Jindrak sneaks up from behind, fireman's carry, into an Argentinian neckbreaker. Wright with the missile dropkick on Jindrak - isn't that his move? I guess not, Jindrak kicks out at 2. Wright tries a baseball slide dropkick to O'Haire on the outside, but O'Haire slaps it away - but he doesn't see Kidman behind him with the same move! Mysterio over on Wright. It's all breaking down on the outside. Disqo on Mysterio. Jindrak & O'Haire with their trademarked Unlikely Beal from the floor over the top rope on Kidman. Jindrak covers, Wright saves. European forearm, clothesline over the top rope - O'Haire on the apron, Wright distracted right hand, Kidman with the Tomokaze, and it's over. 1, 2, 3. (2:26) Pier Six brawl quickly ensues in the middle of the ring. I will DIE if I don't get to hear somebody say "Faceful o' stuff" before this segment ends. Ohhh...guess I was lying about dying. Animals pose in the middle of the ring, alone, as we go out.

Jeff Jarrett is in control - with his Tracfone

Your hosts include TONY SCHIAVONE & FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL YOU PLEASE SAY FROOT BOOTY. The other guy flicks an imaginary toothpick because OH HELL YEAH SCOTT HALL IS FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED GET USED TO THE SOUND OF THE WORD FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED FIRED - hey, where *is* Scott Hudson, anyway? ("Sitting next to Heenan at the Worldwide set." "Oh, thanks.") After a lengthy setup discussing Sting and Jarrett, we (naturally) cut to...

Here's A Special Video Look at Stacey Keibler, David Flair, and Buff Bagwell

Here's A Special Video Look at Kronik and Goldberg

Here's A Special Video Look at Jeff Jarrett and Sting

You know, I'm starting to get the feeling this is just a big ol' extra long Halloween Havoc commercial!

Here's A Special Video Look at Scott Steiner and Booker T

Halloween Havoc is SUNDAY!

Boy, when they coast...and when *I* coast....this show is a DREAM to recap

Close captioning where available sponsored by MEINEKE! And Tootsie candies

CROWBAR v. JOBBIN' VAMPIRO - Hey, look who's back. He's wielding a pair of 'chuks in one hand and he's got something else in his back pocket. Daring Crowbar to come out and meet him - Crowbar content to drop elbows on the mat. Here he comes - stick shot! WHACK! WHACK! Tony says "Lethal Weapon" - I oughta KICK HIS ASS RIGHT NOW. NBA starts 1 November! Crowbar fires back. Right, Vampiro right, Crowbar, Vampiro, Vampiro, Vampiro. Head to the mat. Crowbar kicks, Vampiro catches the next one and there's a low blow. Crowbar put into the railing. Vampiro with a right. Crowbar fires back - Vampiro into the railing. Vampiro rolled in the ring, but he meets him with rights as he comes in. Vampiro still pounding away with rights and elbows. Crowbar with a chop. Vampiro right, Crowbar chop. Repeat. Crowbar chops again, chop, catching the kick, Vampiro with a reverse mule kick. Side headlock...Vampiro crotches him on the top rope. Chop, chop, Vampiro falls to the apron...to the floor. Crowbar with a dropkick through the ropes. Crowbar back out - taking him to the rail. Clothesline out on the floor. Crowbar up on the apron...THERE'S THE SPLASH! Crowbar opening up every orifice in Vampiro's face - yikes. Bulldog onto the chair. Commentators are playing some sort of game to see who can say "fired up" the most - I wish *they'd* get fired up....oops, I mean just plain fired. Crowbar right, right - front suplex onto the STEEL steps!! Crowbar resets the steps, then walks over and AGAIN he's clawing the eyes. Whip into the rail - Vampiro's gimpin'.

WCW Magazine ad

Jeff Jarrett - Tracfone - oh oh, another chocolate attack!

Let Us Take You Back To Moments Ago as Vampiro takes the uranage through two tables. From two or three angles!

KARLOS (with Tygryss & Let Us Take You Back One Week) v. FRANCHISE (with Torrie Samuda) - Of course, Konnan asks who let the dogs out. Then he asks Disqo where his talent's at. Franchise is out with his arm in a sling. "Konnan, now you know the matchmakers had you and I set to tear this house down tonight, but unfortunately I've sustained an injury last week that would put most men out of this sport. Hey! You don't have to take my word for it - Torrie, tell 'em." "You know, what's wrong with you people? You have a hard working, dignified respected man trying to plead his case, and you don't believe him? You people are disgusting!" "Konnan all week long, you know what it's like to look at a woman like Torrie Wilson, as she shakes like a leaf? All week long she's heavily medicated, because she's been a nervous wreck with her man being injured." "Wait a minute...the only thing - the reason she's got a look on her face like that is because you haven't been serving her right. Now, uh...by the way, Torrie, you look like you need a facial." "Hey, now let's keep this on a

WHITE THUNDER (with Midajah & a tiger & two tiger handlers) v. THAT 70'S MULLET - Commentators express their condolences on Yokozuna's passing...whoa. Stevie Ray sees the tiger and makes a "Daktari" reference. My head's spinning. Dammit, Steiner's gonna speak again. "Booker T - I'm no preacher man, and I'm no prophet. I don't have a crystal ball, and I can't foresee the future, but at Halloween Havoc, you can't bet your ass I'm gonna beat your bald punk ass up. (That's right, boy!)" Hmm, Awesome's coming out, but Booker T's video is on the Nitrovision... Ahh, before the match starts, the music changes...and BOOKA T. comes out. Steiner is ready to go meet Booker in the aisle - but Awesome is up behind HIM with a forearm, and the match starts. Pound, right, into the safety rail. Head to the apron. Steiner rolled back in - Awesome with a springboard splash back in - 1, 2, no. Right, right, legdrop, 1, 2, no. Scoop...and a slam. Stomp. Awesome going up top - frog splash! 1, 2, kickout! Halloween Havoc is 6 days away, thanks. Into the ropes, reversed, Midajah grabs the ankle, forearm to the back by Steiner, atomic drop. Midajah comes in and kicks Awesome outside. Steiner outside as well - to the safety rail. Chairshot. Awesome rolled back in the ring, Steiner follows. Into the ropes, Steinerline. Kiss the bicep, drop the elbow. 1, 2, no. Steiner argues the count with referee "Blind" Mark Johnson. Blockbuster suplex. Pushups. Steiner says "son of a bitch" Booker's way but the mute is late. Stomp, stomp, in the corner, kick, kick, right, right, chop, chop, Steiner on the second rope - right, right, belly-to-belly out of the corner. Awesome outside, Steiner outside, Awesome reverses a whip into the rail. Awesome with the clothesline. Awesome is in trunks tonight, huh? Back in the ring - Awesome on the second rope - Steiner up with a right. Steiner on the second rope - Awesome right, right, right, headbutting him down. Awesome off the top rope with a clothesline...for 2. Elbow to the back, waistlock - Steiner elbows out. Awesome ducks the clothesline and gets the German suplex on the second attempt. Clothesline in the corner. Signalling for the Awesomebomb...but Midajah has a hold of the ankle. Johnson over to try to get this situation rectified...and missing Steiner grabbing the lead pipe and smacking Awesome in the back. Booker T borrows "squakkin' yak" from his brother! Steiner puts Awesome on the top turnbuckle - Steiner on the second turnbuckle...got Awesome on his shoulders - SUPER SAMOAN DROP! 1, 2, NO!! Steiner threatens Johnson. Steinen Recliner...Awesome gives it up. (5:40) Quickly, we put up the credits and get out right on time.

You're watching BULL!