Sin clips of Totally Buff taking out Goldberg - and Road Warrior Animal taking out...well, nobody. Also, a highlight package from last week

LAST WEEK: Steiner, Jarrett, Luger and Bagwell watch the replay of Sid Vicious breaking his leg...over and over...and break chicken wing bones. CLASSY.

Light the pyro! Coming to you from the Unnamed Arena in Winston Salem, NC airing 23.1.1 (but taped 22.1) on TNT, this is a special Tuesday edition of Monday Nitro!

Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE & SCOTT HUDSON. Tony opens the show with "a news item - many of you may already know that WCW has new owners. The transaction, right now, in process [and maybe in progress, too, eh Tone?] - we are in the transition period of new owners in World Championship Wrestling. We don't know what changes will take place - we don't know what's going to happen in the next few weeks," but they sense that Ric Flair's actions of late may represent an attempt to cement his power in WCW before the new owners take over. Several web and newspaper articles showing "WCW sold" headlines are shown - kept grainy and/or out of focus so none of the little details like losing $80M are shown. Interestingly, the name "Bischoff" is not mentioned.

As if on cue, THE CEO & ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL & TOTALLY BUFF are out. Flair asks us to examine the label on his jacket, which appropriately says "BOSS." Animal's T-shirt has his face paint design on the front...and Hawk's on the back (hmmm). "You would think that after all this time, you would learn that if you continuously surround yourself with greatness, you stay great. Woooo! And this may be the greatest unit of all time, my personal bodyguard, the man himself, Road Warrior Animal! The Total Package - Lex - wooo! by God Luger! And Totally Buffed Buff Bagwell. Woooo! You want some o' that, don't you baby, you can't have it, he's gotta work tonight. Now let me make it very clear that the great world champion Scott Steiner is on his way tonight in a limo wooooo! flyin' down 85, to save this community - the world champ will be in the house with Double J. Wooo! But for those of you worldwide and here tonight that paid to see the unit, they're all here intact, woooo!, and lookin' I might say as only they can look. Now, we're going right to SuperBrawl. I'm talkin' about Revenge. I'm talkin' about the biggest pay-per-view ever put on by this company, it's MY job to make sure that our world champion, Scott Steiner, has a great opponent, so I went and I thought to myself and I talked to my friends, I said 'how 'bout Goldberg?' Then, I remembered that the Package and Totally Buffed, you can chant his name all you want, he's retired and out of this sport - GOLD - BERG - IS - GONE. Then I said 'well you know what, the awesome Sid Vicious - he should have the title shot.' Then I said to myself, 'you know what, the poor guy's laid up in a hospital, and in our sport, there's not a lotta sympathy shared, there's not a lotta camaraderie, but we all in our own way feel very bad for Sid because Steiner broke his leg in two - IN TWO! - and baby, if you don't think that hurts, grab on one time - that's real - that ain't football - that ain't Wake Forest basketball - it's real. So, as the CEO, MY WCW, I said I've got to find the #1 Contender for the great champ, Scott Steiner, I said to myeslf, who've we got? I said, I got it! I got it! It's the GREAT, GREAT, German star - the tall, massive, German European superstar....ALEX WRIGHT. That's who will defend the title against Scott Steiner." What, he just won the title? Out dances Wright - Luger and Bagwell do their best approximation of the Tanz. Wright says (in German) "Attention, attention, here is Alex Wright, and it is my time..." but KEVIN NASH rudely interrupts. Flair is aghast. "NASH - NASH - Nash, shut up!" Wright (in German): "Kevin! Kevin!" "Nash, I told you about bustin' my interviews, you can't do it, I'm the boss!" Wright: "Kevin, listen to me! This is my time! I'm the #1 contender for the title!" Nash hasn't looked his way yet, so Wright decks him. Flair: "Hit him again, dammit!" Nash brushes back his hair, blocks the next punch, throws a right of his own, gutshot, brush back hair, truckstop powerbomb through the stage! "Nash, what are you doing? That was the #1 Contender for the world title!" "Not anymore. Looks to me like Steiner's dance card's wide open. Looks like I'M the #1 Contender." "Don't make a mistake - I'm thinkin' that what looks like might happen is gonna happen - you'll NEVER wrestle our champion, Scott Steiner, sez me. Sez me - woooo! - CEO. MY WCW." "I say differently, Flair. I say I'm the #1 Contender, and somebody here's to back me up." Out comes CAT & MZ. JONEZ. "Hey baby, cut that music off, we got to get down to business right here. Ric Flair, I want you and your stooges to stay there and shut the hell up for a minute. Come on, Lousy Lex Luger, come on out here - he'll put your ass right down there with that fake Nitro Girl. Now, I'm gon' tell you something Ric Flair, okay? I have already booked that match for the SuperBrawl main event - and guess what? It'll be Big Bad Stupid Poppa Dump takin' on Kevin Nash!" "You just got this job back again - are you sure you're wantin' that? I'll tell you what--" "Don't have a heart attack - take it easy, man." "No, you take it easy. Lemme see - you just booked the match, huh? So the match has gotta stand? Well I got something for you, okay? Think this one out, smart guy. Tonight, we're gonna have a qualifying match. If Big Sexy the Killer wants to wrestle Big Poppa Pump, then he's gotta beat Buff tonight - yeah, yeah - in the main event." Bagwell's expression noticably dims. "No, no, Buff, Buff, whoa whoa whoa whoa - Buff, Buff, whoa, whoa, spec - special referee in that match...the Total Package." Everybody's all smiles again. "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, Ric, hey Lousy Lex Luger, hold on, wait a minute, Ric. You're a little too late. I've already booked Lex Luger in a match tonight, baby. Somebody want his ass." The crappy music of DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE starts up and out he walks. "Flair. Just when you think you got all the answers, the commissioner, the Cat, has changed the question." Leave it to Page to steal from Piper...and get it wrong. "Now, now wait a minute. In the winner of this match will go on tonight to be that main referee in that main event. Now how do ya like that Ric? Ah ha ha ha" and he chops his crotch - I thought that was verboten these days. "You don't really think DDP wants a piece of the Total Package, do ya?" "I wanna piece o' him ALL OVER THIS PLACE!" "Okay, okay, you want the Package, you got him! But if Nash or Bagwell interfere in the match tonight, they're both suspended, I gotta do things the right way. Yeah, if Nash interferes or you interfere, you know I've gotta do things right down - if either one of 'em interferes in the match with DDP or the Package, they're suspended. How 'bout THAT? You're standin' alone now! Hah?" "One last thing, Flair. You can set all the roadblocks you want for me, but I'm gonna get Steiner, I'm gonna take his belt, and we're collectively gonna drive a stake through ALL your hearts." Play "Theme from Wolfpac" again! Wrestling action may be NEXT!

SuperBrawl Revenge ad - you cannot imagine why they'd feel the need to change the name of their signature events

Because when you think "tax refund," you think "Rufus & Chaka Khan"

Moments Ago, Alex Wright took a powerbomb from multiple angles

Mike Sanders catches up to Chavo Guerrero and the Wall. Ric Flair thinks Guerrero has what it takes to be a number one guy - they've scoured the country to find two of the top cruiserweights, and he might want to take special interest in the next match, because he could be wrestling one or both of them. Guerrero says he'll watch the match, but did Flair take care of the thing he was talking about? Sanders says it's a done deal - tonight, he and Wall will take on Hugh Morrus and that Corporal Cajun guy. Wall says "Sanders - WE NEED TWO BODY BAGS! Because the legend of the MIA ends TONIGHT." Sanders drinks coffee.

Meanwhile, Jarrett and Steiner (and Midajah) arrive - Steiner wants to watch the tape again, but Flair and entourage catch up with them. "The Cat is runnin' wild...I don't want you to hear this from anyone else but me..." so they head into the CEO's office...

MICHAEL "MIKE" MODEST v. "THE FALLEN ANGEL" CHRISTOPHER DANIELS - neither guy gets chyron, although I can hear the chyron sound effects...the conspiracy theorist in me says it's another subtle way of putting these guys down, while the realist in me says another typical WCW production glitch. Now I feel as sorry for Sid Vicious as anybody (except maybe Arn Anderson) but at least we can all take comfort that he won't be around to screw up *this* match. No mention of either man's previous WCW experience - Modest with an infamous nontitle victory over then champion the Acronym on the "lost" Nitro, Daniels on Worldwide...not to mention years ago on WWF Shotgun Saturday Night (which is not, technically, WCW experience but still worthy of mention). Here we go. Daniels off the rope, leapfrog by Modest, back to back over the back by Daniels, off the ropes, shoulderblock by Modest, up and over, dueling hiptosses and Modest's hits, Daniels kicks him away and kips up. Right hand. Into the ropes, no, Modest reverses by dropping down between Daniels' legs, pulling him into a forward roll. Lightning arm wringer...and one more. Knife-edge chop - into the ropes is revesred, Modest ducks a clothesline (NBA on TNT Wednesdays & Thursdays, by the way), Daniels with a chop, running to the ropes, leaping to the top rope with no hands, SLIPPING, and LANDING RIGHT ON HIS HEAD on the way down. Modest forearms him in the back, then waits for referee "Blind" Billy Silverman to get an okay from Daniels before continuing. Right hand by Modest, arm wringer, Daniels punches back, right, roundhouse kick ducked, STILL holding the arm, into a ...let's call it a combo pumphandle/head and arm suplex. Modest going to the waistlock - Daniels elbowing free, snapmaring him over but Modest does a handstand and cartwheels out of the snapmare! Daniels ducks a clothesline but doesn't see it coming to the BACK of his head. Modest using his power to stay in control - there's *another* big forearm. One more forearm - I think Daniels is getting tired of taking shots to the head as he blocks the next one - Modest swats away his kick. Forearm by Modest, kick caught, Daniels with an enzuigiri and Modest felt THAT one - through the ropes and out to the floor. Daniels following - forearm to the back - whip into the cameraman (and the guard rail)! Modest reverses a whip, but Daniels jumps to the apron - back in the ring, running the ropes, dropkick THROUGH the ropes finds the mark! He also hooked the top rope to skin the cat coming back in! The camera spends WAY too much time focusing on Modest lying on the mat, missing Daniels' next move - possibly a spectacular springboard splash - if only we'd been able to SEE it. Daniels rolls Modest back in and follows...into the ropes, nice dropkick. Awkward split-legged moonsault gets 2. Out of the corner, reversal, Daniels up and over...only, nobody under him. Daniels waits for him to land, full nelson...OVERHEAD RELEASE DRAGON SUPLEX by Modest!! Modest is fired up - cover - 1, 2, NO! Forearm to the back. Second rope...Daniels runs into him - forearm - overhead cobra clutch snapmare/powerbomb/holy cow who knows? Whatever it is, Daniels gets 2. Daniels outside and up top...Modest lunges for him, handstand, head scissors (!) and snaps him back into the ring - now *Modest* going up top - big splash but it's an empty pool! *Daniels* going to the corner - second rope - springing to the top rope - that's a double springboard moonsault! 1, 2, KICKS OUT! What does he have to do to keep this man down? Tomahawk chop to the heart, stomp, stomp, stomp, pulling him out but Modest lands on his feet...ducks a clothesline, Modest catches him in the uranage position, but putting him over his shoulder and facefirst to the mat! 1, 2, NO!! Daniels is just as resilient - forearm to the back, again, into the ropes, Modest holds on, side headlock, chain wrestling to a carry over the back...this looks like Modest's version of the Vertebraeker...and hits! That's his move! 1, 2, FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!! Tony says Modest told him he doesn't have a name for it yet...going for it again...but Daniels breaks free - hooks the arms, spins him around, knee to the gut, double underhook lacing the fingers...lifts him up and drops him in a version of the powerbomb - Modest was too heavy. I think that's one of Daniels' moves when it looks better. Both men are down - Daniels finally rolls on top - 1, 2, NO! Daniels with a forearm, Modest with a chop, Daniels with a chop, dueling chops continue, Modest goes behind, Daniels with the standing switch, Modest reverses, Daniels elbow out, Modest into the ropes, ducks a clothesline, ducks again, runs over Daniels and they BOTH go over the top to the outside. Ahh SHIT it's WHITE THUNDER & MIDAJAH come out to play the part of Sid Vicious, and all Silverman can do is call for the bell. (No contest? Relaxed DQ? 6:56) Here's a Fuck You Forearm for Daniels, Shit On the Fans Steinerline for Modest, Booking Bitch Blockbuster Suplex for each man, and nothing EVER changes with this company. Sure, they pay lip service to the cruiserweights and maybe they almost convinced some of us to believe it...right until they go ahead and *continue* to book them as inferiors with BULLSHIT like this. Nothing EVER changes with this company. Guess what - SHIT like THIS is what made everybody LEAVE in the FIRST place. What kind of DUMBASS bookers do you have to be if you fail to FIGURE THIS OUT....AGAIN? Here's your bonus - Steiner is passed a lead pipe, which he uses to "snap" a shin on each man, just to make sure we never see them again. Yeah, it'll be different THIS time. Jesus Christ, now I gotta sit through another 94 minutes of this show. Don't EVER think it'll get better because they'll ALWAYS find some other way to RUIN it. DAMN WCW SUCKS. "Last week on Monday Nite Nitro, everybody see the most horrific injury in the history of this sport, and I gotta listen to you two idiots sayin' it was a freak accident. Now, what happened, Sid Vicious ran into the freak. See, Sid Vicious came off the top rope, he hit the massive chest of the genetic freak, and he felt the power, and that power sent his leg down to the mat, shatterin' his leg and his dreams of ever becomin' world champion again." Stomp. "So Sid Vicious, I'm sendin' you a present - I'm sendin' you these two br- jabrones to lay next to you and you all can talk about the same thing...you can talk about me, the man who sent you there. But Sid Vicious, I don't feel sorry for you, because I gave you fair warning to walk away - just like I warned Sting, just like I warned Booker T, and now Kevin Nash, I'm warnin' you. Before you s-- decide to show up at SuperBrawl, you think about this. I'm Big Poppa Pump - I don't fake it...I break it."

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, Geico, Geico (2), "Coyote Ugly" on video & DVD, Hot Pockets, and Randstad (who?)

When we come back, KWEE-WEE & PAISLEY are out. "Ric Flair! I came out here last week and I asked you to be part o' your team. Well you didn't ask me, and that makes me angry...and let me tell you something, Flair - you don't wanna make me angry. The fact that I'm standin' out here right now after the onslaught that I took from Rick Steiner last Thunder - I'll prove to you that I'm all man. You know I'm all man! Would I have a woman like this if I wasn't all man? I tell you what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna challenge anybody in this building to come on in this ring right now. That's includin' any guys in the back, that's includin' any o' you fans - if you're man enough, and you think you're all man, get in the ring! What about you? You think you're all man? If you're all man, then you step on up in here." He's addressing one of the SECURITY who has assembled at ringside - he's not Robbie Rage or Steve Armstrong, who are on either side of him. I'm sure he's been on Worldwide and I should know his name, but, hell - who cares, Kwee-wee's just a cruiserweight anyway. Anyway, Kwee-wee shoves him one, and slaps him, then hits the ring. The rest of Security hold him back. "If you're all men, get your butt up here - if you're all man, get in here!" He breaks free...and Kwee-wee stomps him one, then rabbit punches him in the kidneys. There's a mount...repeated rights - the rest of security come in to break it up. SuperBrawl Revenge is 26 days away, by the way. "See, Flair...this is what you're missin' with...the Kwee-wee on your team." Umm, that doesn't make sense. Whatever. Let's call it a segment and take another ad break.

LANCE STORM (with Team Canada and Let Us Take You Back to Last Monday...and Thunder) v. KONNAN (and the Filthy Animals) - "If I can be serious for a minute...the war between the Filthy Animals and Team Canada has gone on long enough. Both sides have suffered casualties - Kidman's ribs and Awesome's hair. As the captain of Team Canada, I am out here to challenge Konnan, the leader of the Filthy Animals, to a match to declare the winner of this war, once and for all. But remember, Konnan, Canada has never lost a war, and tonight will be no different - because I'm from Calgary...Alberta, Canada. I was born to wrestle and bred to win. All rise for the playing of the Canadian national anthem!" Anthem lasts about (:20) before the Filthy Animals theme interrupts. "Where our dogs at, where they at? Yo, this is K-Dizzy, off the Hizzy, in North Cackakizzy! Now, uh, Lance Storm - you say Canada's never lost a war - I never knew you were IN a war, all right? Now I understand you got like a language problem, where some of your peoples are talkin' French, some are talkin' English, well I had like this little premonition where in the future, Canada's gonna be talkin' the same language, it's gonna sound a little sumtin' like dis - yo yo yo lemme speak on dis, orale! Arriba la ra - za!" That makes no sense! Oh well. Koonan hooks a leg and somersaults forward with a takedown, Storm turns it over to a pinning predicament, Konnan turns it over and grabs a leg...working on a standing Indian deathlock, no room to bridge back - Storm rolls him forward and out of it - got the leg, Konnan kicks away before he can apply the half crab. Storm with a jawbreaker. Into th eropes, Konnan reverses, forward roll clothesline. Storm rolls out, Kidman plays lumberjack. Gunns over to take umbrage - Tygress over, and now it's ALL breaking down at ringside (naturally, we watch the ladies - or perhaps I should say "surprisingly" given the makeup of the WCW production staff) - next time we move away from Major Cleavage, Konnan dumps Storm over the top onto Awesome - Kidman rolls Storm back in again - into the ropes, Konnan up and over, mule kick, going for the facejam but Storm has that scouted...breaks it up, Konnan ducks a clothesline, waistlock, standing switch, into the ropes, Storm rolls back, but grabs Konnan on the charge and rolls him forward into the Canadian maple Leaf! Konnan actually taps! (1:46) Leave it to WCW to end a long war with a match under two minutes. Nothing EVER changes with this company.

Promotional consideration paid for by America (ha!) Online, "Dinosaur" on video & DVD, Buckley's cough suppressant, Gear-Lok and HangTuff locks, Randstad (2) and One Step at a Time nicotine addiction withdrawl system

When we come back, Franchise catches up to Totally Buff - he wonders if Ric Flair has been saying anything about him. They tell him if he can take the Cat out, he's in.

GENE O. works tonight! He stands with General Rection and Corporal Cajun...only, Rection doesn't seem to be listening. Cajun takes the mic - for the past few weeks, he thought Chavo was just a little misunderstood, but now he sees that *he's* the one that didn't understand. The only thing Rection ever did wrong was put trust in Chavo and the Wall. "Lemme tell you something, mon ami, I'll stay witchoo to the very end." "You know, it wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to stay together. We were supposed to overcome. Lash, you've been a good friend to me. Right now, you might be my only friend - I never thought it would come to this...gimme the shirt. Lash, gimme the shirt." LeRoux removes his MIA shirt and forks it over. "You've just been honourably discharged from the MIA. We gotta go back to who we are. To what we do best. Chavo, Wall, you thought General Rection was dangerous...(laughs, rips MIA shirt to reveal a Hugh Morrus shirt)...then maybe you forgot about...(laughs)...Hugh Morrus."

LOOK, MA! It's Lex Luger! And...and he's WALKING!

Meanwhile, HEY! It's Diamond Dallas Page! And HE is WALKING!

THE NARCISSIST (with Let Us Take You Back to Sin) v. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE HAS SUPER CRAPPY MUSIC (with Let Us Take You Back to Thunder & TV-14-DL ratings box) to determine the referee for the main event - Luger is all smiles and gladhands on his way to the ring...a perfect role for him. Page is back to heading to the ring through the crowd, 'cause he's a suckup. Luger mentions that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line to the commentators. Huh? Hey, you know the NBA airs on TNT Wednesdays & Thursdays. Lockup, side headlock by Page, chain wrestling to a hammerlock...Luger to the ropes. Referee "Blind" Mark Johnson forces the break. Page slaps Luger in the back - let's get it on! Block, right, right, Luger bounces off the ropes, right. Luger rolls outside. Wanna buy a Scott Steiner T-shirt? Visit wcwgear.com! Is Luger doing a Larry Zbyszko impersonation for the benefit of those of us who never saw the man in his prime? Page leads claps in the meantime. Luger *finally* back in the ring. Here we go, lockup, big side headlock by Luger, to the big hammerlock. Page elbows out, shoulderblock off the ropes, up and over, dueling hiptosses, no go, Page with a gutshot...and DDT! 1, 2, no. Luger ducks a clothesline, but not the second one (discus variety) - another 2 count for Page. Luger trying to escape, Page holding on, Luger's trick knee acts up and Page goes down. Luger with a big atomic drop. Big death suplex. Hooks the leg - 1, 2, Page kicks out. Big double axehandle in the small of the back. And another. Luger drops the bum on his back. Luger smiles to the crowd. Shoving Page into the ropes - and unleashing a big forearm to the back when he comes back. Again, into the ropes, again with the forearm as he bounces back. I think Page is catching on - into the ropes, Page spins around and throws a right, right, into the ropes, head down, big kick by Luger, big clothesline. Luger's a hoot. Into the corner is reversed, but Luger gets a big boot up - and there's a big clothesline. Big stomp, big stomp, big stomp, big stomp, big stomp, big stomp, big stomp, big stand on the throat until Johnson pulls him off. Luger hits a double bicep for our enjoyment. Page manages to pull himself up by the top rope, put Luger in the corner, right, right, right, into the opposite corner, slides under the big boot, grabs the legs and makes a wish using the ringpost. Looks like Page got his wish! Ten Heads to the Turnbuckle Count Along. Well, nine...big point to the crowd before ten. Page going to the top rope? Flying clothesline HITS - 1...no wait, he wants to hit a Diamond Cutter - bet that'll be a mistake - sure enough, he manages to elbow Johnson while making the sign of the Diamond Cutter. Luger takes advantage of the opportunity to throw a big uppernut. Also, this brings JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET out (good God almighty...good God almighty) - Luger scoops him up, Page back to his feet, going for the Diamond Cutter, no, shoved off - shot for Jarrett, shot for Luger, Jarrett Kabongs him with the gee-tar. Right into the big ol' Torture Rack. Page gives it up - and Luger is your main event referee. (6:37) Here's a couple replays.

See the stars of WCW live in action! Nitro tix on sale Friday for Huntsville, and Saturday for New Orleans! Monday, Nitro hits Baltimore, and *next* Monday it's Tupelo!

Thunder ad still has Goldberg in it

MAMALUKES (Look, mama, I love you) v. SHAWN STASIAK & MARK JINDRAK (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Monday) - Jindrak seems proud of his new tights because they have his name on the waist. Stasiak, on the other hand, is wearing the same tights he lost to Kurt Angle in. This is the first match as a team for the Paisans since....ah, who cares. Stasiak and Johnny "the Bull" are gonna start - hey, remember when Johnny was a Natural Born Thriller? 26 days until the big pay-per-view. Knee by Stasiak, right, head to the buckle, right, right, right, right, kick, kick, kick, stomp. Words for referee "Born to Do It" Scott James, right, into the opposite corner, Johnny up and over, right, spin kick puts him down. Tag to Vito, into the ropes, Bensonhurst bomb (or "version of an H bomb" for people with no memories and/or WCW commentators) - doubleteam stompdown continues until they let him tag to Jindrak (idiots). Vito with a drop toehold, tag to Johnny, into the ropes, double elbow, kick by Johnny, swinging neckbreaker by Vito, Johnny covers...for 2. In the corner, stomp, stomp, stomp, into the opposite corner, Jindrak over the top to the apron, elbow for Johnny, springboard clothesline back in, tag to Stasiak. Kick, kick, right, right, into the opposite corner, nobody home on the follow elbow. Front face by Johnny, tag to Vito, open shot, into the ropes, powerslam gets 2. Into the ropes, reversed, knee by Jindrak, wacky flying elbow by Stasiak. Stomp, stomp, scoop....and a slam. Tag to Jindrak, no hands quebrada (!) gets 2. Free shot for Johnny, calling in Stasiak when James is sent over to keep Johnny from coming in to exact revenge. Vito into the ropes - looks like THEIR version of the Bensonhurst bomb. And a double nip up! Wonder twin powers salute - double elbowdrop. Stasiak covers...and only gets 2! Stomp by Stasiak. Into the ropes, gutshot, kneelift. Tony calls Jindrak & Stasiak "leftovers." Geez, I remember when all the Thrillers were equal. "This team is gelling right before our very eyes!" --the hell? I guess nobody else watches this show long enough to be offended by this rather blatant continuity breach. Tag to Jindrak - stomp on Vito, into the ropes, duck, leapfrog by Jindrak - each man hooks an arm and falls flat to the mat. Each man tags...must be a HOT one for Johnny! Jindrak ducks the clothesline but Stasiak doesn't - superkick for Jindrawk, chop, dropkick for Stasiak. Vito clotheslines Stasiak out as Johnny rider Jindrak like a pony - into the ropes, mule kick, press....and drop. Leg is hooked...but James has his back to the action trying to get Vito back to his corner. Stasiak on top...forearm shot to the back hits Johnny hard. Vito in...Mafia kick to Stasiak! Vito covers Stasiak while Jindrak covers Johnny - and I think that Scott James is the only person not typing up a recap who knows that Stasiak and Johnny are the legal men, so NEITHER pinfall attempt should be counted. This brings CHUCK PALUMBO & SEAN O'HAIRE out to express *their* opinion...shoving James to the mat in the process. James decides that it just got a whole lot easier, disqualifying the Thrillers and awarding the match to the Mamalukes. (relaxed DQ 4:43) Needless to say, Jindrak & Stasiak have something to say to their mates about this...

WCW Magazine ad

Close captioning where available sponsored by America (ha!) Online 6.0!

Reno and Sanders try to restore order amongst the arguing Thrillers...but Ric Flair pulls Sanders aside, and says some things that blend right into the background. I think he DID manage to utter "pet project" about a hundred times.

FRANCHISE (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Monday) v. CAT (with Mz. Jonez) (for the title? They should tell us these things) - "Cut the damn music! Listen up, you deep-fried Southern hicks! You may not like it, but I am still the US Heavyweight champion, and you'll have to learn to live with it. Now Cat, for the first time in history, the Franchise and the Nature Boy have something in common: taking you out for good. So take that tail, Cat, out from between your legs and come on down because it's time to get your ha-ha-ha FRANCHISED." "Okay, turn the music off. Okay, now before I come - before I'm out here, now, you said you wanted to french fry me? Or did you say Franchise? Okay, wait a minute, I got to take care of some important business, I'll come back to you. But right now - I'm gon' tell you - you sit down, Weasel." Bobby Heenan in the front row? Hmm, no. "Now, I got some important business to attend to - Jeff Jarrett, I'll tell you what, you just slapped your little slapnuts right into the SuperBrawl, okay? Because you WILL face DDP - and I have spoken! Now, right now, I want somebody to call my momma because I'm about to win the US title!" But Ric Flair appears on the FusienTron. "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa Cat - Cat - wooo! - take a look at this, brother - you are not runnin' wild! You are not takin' WCW over - this is Nitro - it's MY WCW - you're not makin' the rules! It's not for the US title tonight - you're gonna wrestle the Franchise for the commissionership! So if the Franchise beats you, he's the new commissioner, you got it? No US title - this match is for the commissionership - no DQ - woooo!" Franchise waffles Cat with the mic before Flair is done speaking - boom, boom, boom, boom. Standing on the neck. Into the ropes, back elbow. Franchise with the reverse rolling neck snap. I miss Curt Hennig. Snapmares him over. Whoa, our second Indian deathlock of the night! Nifty bridge from the Franchise as well. Cat refuses to lose...Franchise breaks the hold. Right hand, right, Cat dancing his way into a no-sell, Cat with a right, double thrust, right, Franchise to the eyes. Scoop...and a slam. Franchise outside and going up top - Ms. Jones does nothing. Fortunately, Cat is over to beal him in - golly, Franchise looking kinda Flair-esque here, wouldn't you say? Karate thrust, double thrust, catching a punch, spinning him around and chopping away. Ten heads to the turnbuckles, 3-3-3-1 variety. Ten Punch Count Along because hey, who gets tired of counting to ten? NOBODY. Hard into the corner, back body drop out, cover, leg is hooked - only 2 for the Cat! Franchise to the eyes once again. Straight right. Into the ropes is reversed, sunset flip attempt - no, jiggy jig jig, hiya. MIKE SANDERS is out, Cat ducks, gutshot, downstairs for the uppercut. Feliner puts him outside. Here comes SEAN O'HAIRE - spinning heel kick is ducked, but the clothesline is not. Another superkick finds the mark, but if the crowd is barking, then RICK WOOF WOOF must be in - Steinerline puts O'Haire outside - Franchise tries a cover - Steiner pulls him off. Jawbreaker for Steiner...pulling out the chain and wrapping his fist...ready to uncork one on the Cat, but Steiner hooks the arm, right hand, into a Feliner from the Cat, 1, 2, 3! (3:44) Steiner takes it to O'Haire on the outside while Cat plays James Brown...and Ms. Jones plays Morris Day...and Rick Steiner plays...a white guy who can't dance. Replay of the finish - hey, if it makes the 300 fans in the building happy, can I really complain about it?

CHAVO GUERRERO JNR & THE WALL (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. HUGH MORRUS & LASH LeROUX - May I predict that if WCW is still around in a year, that they'll STILL use this video of Chavo that says "NEW ATTITUDE" on it? And that we'll all make fun of it, too? Morrus is back to the First Family theme, "Not the Zoo," for his ring entrance music - we'll get back to you on whether LeRoux is back to his bayou blues or not. I *will* tell you he still wants you and I to look at his sideburns. Referee "Blind" Mickie J. isn't gonna keep 'em apart - this is nothing but a fight. Wall takes LeRoux out with one big boot, then punks out Morrus while he tries to throttle Chavo. Forearm in the chest, big chop, into the opposite corner is reversed, big boot awaits Morrus on his charge. Back elbow for LeRoux...but Wall runs into a powerslam. Morrus gets 2. Wall outside - Guerrero thinks better about coming in. Filthy Animals jerseys are only $40 at wcwgear.com! Hurry...before they break them up! (MIA T-shirts are probably $1.95) LeRoux is in - so Chavo will come in as well..although he professes to want Morrus. After consulting with the crowd, LeRoux turns to make the tag - only Guerrero brings him down when his back is turned. Thrown to the Wall while J. tries to keep Morrus in his corner. Wall stands on the second rope and pulls LeRoux up by his neck - wow. Guerrero with a big chop, European uppercut, into the ropes, reversed, Guerrero slides under, but take a gutshot, LeRoux going for a powerbomb, but Guerrero slides over and down, taking him down with an armdrag. Guerrero runs into a tilt-a-whirl slam. LeRoux with rhe right, right, right, oh, that's the Bourbon Street...well, Chavo ducks..but the next clothesline hits! 1, 2, kickout. In the corner, chop by LeRoux - right hand. Euro elbow, into the ropes, reversed, Wall buries a knee in the back. Gutshot by Guerrero, off the ropes, ducked, LeRoux hits a dropkick...for 2! LeRoux kicks him inthe head - off the ropes but Guerrero hits a single leg sweep. Into the corner, gutshot, up on the back, LeRoux frees himself, Guerrero with another gutshot - standing on the neck in the corner, stomp, standing on the neck again. Again up on the back...submission hold - LeRoux fights it off again - runs for the Wall with a shot, ducks Guerrero's elbow and HE hits Wall - rollup on Chavo - Wall saves at 2! Morrus is in and Wall is out - LeRoux dumps Chavo on the apron, head to the gut...on the top rope - Guerrero with a NICE missile dropkick. 1, 2, Morrus pulls him off - Chavo takes a swipe at him and misses - Morrus with a BIG right hand...then moving over to the Wall and THEY go at it again. Back in the ring, LeRoux's shoulder hits the post - Guerrero with an inside cradle - 1, 2, 3! (4:50) Morrus is in, big right hand, right, right, into the ropes, press...and tossed to the floor onto the Wall! Play his music 'cause he LOST!

SuperBrawl: Revenge ad (2)

Earlier Tonight, Luger won a match against Diamond Dallas Page to become the special referee

And here comes THE NARCISSIST in warmup pants and white T-shirt (what? No stripes?) - oh, and white wristbands. And mic. I gotta tell ya, seeing Luger laugh at other people is pretty damn awesome. Luger shows us that he can, in fact, count to three.

BUFF DADDY BAGWELL v. AD BREAK - Bagwell also carries a mic to the ring. Let's pause to watch him pose. Luger now holds BOTH mics - one wonders if they'll use them or not. Oh, wait - Luger has to hit a second rope pose as well. Then he does the pec flex underneath his shirt - ooh, how CREEPY. Are they gonna talk or what? Ayup. "Please, please...thank you for the warm reception. I wanna go on record as saying, before this match, that I take this job as an official WCW referee very seriously. Now, in spite of your skepticism, I'm gonna call this thing rrrrrrrrright down the middle. Totally unbiased, 'cause that's my job, and that's the kinda guy I am." "I understand what you're sayin', and I want you to know that whether they appreciate it or not, I think you're doin' a hell of a job." "Thank you, Buff. And if I have to get physical and personally involved to make sure that happens, so help me, I will. And when it's all said and done, and the match is over, I will personally count 1, 2, 3 with this hand, and raise the hand of the better man." Of course, he raises Bagwell's hand. Bagwell's music plays, despite Bagwell's longing to talk further...and we go to ad break, despite the fact that the commentators didn't get a cue and are stuck in mid-sentence, just like th--

BUFF DADDY BAGWELL v. KEVIN NASH (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Monday) - well, at least they found some stripes for Luger during the break. Maybe he just didn't want to wear them earlier so we could still see his pec flex. On second thought, that's probably EXACTLY it. Tony says Luger made a big deal out of it during the break, but you and I know better. Nash has a ponytail - let's see how long it lasts. Don't forget - Scott Steiner T-shirts available for a mere twenty bones. Luger finally calls for the bell and we're on. Buff asks for some space to pose - Nash knees him - forearm, right, right, standing on the neck until Luger pulls him off. Nash pays him no heed - knee in the corner, knee, right, elbow, elbow...there's a good chance others are describing this pace as "deliberate." Nash puts a foot on the neck until Luger manages to muscle him off again. Bagwell rolls outside...Nash follows...and Luger follows after him! Bagwell back in, Nash over the top rope, Luger holding the ankle (!) and Bagwell running over to yank on the top rope, crotching him twice. Right hand by Bagwell, throttling him...Luger isn't back in the ring yet - and rather slow about getting back in. Knee on the head, choke on the bottom rope. Luger appears to be in less of a hurry to get HIM off of his opponent. Word on the street is SuperBrawl Revenge is 26 days away. Bagwell with a fistdrop. Cover...Luger not in position but he still manages a quick 2 before Nash kicks out. After wondering why Luger couldn't have been there quicker, Bagwell goes back to Nash - right, right, right, right, chop, on the second rope for a Ten Punch Coutnt Along - make that five, since he's a heel. Bagwell snapmares him to the centre and clamps on a chinlock. Surprisingly, Luger doesn't hear Nash give it up - although he does check for the choke (and doesn't find one). Nash getting back to his feet...but Bagwell goes to the eyes (just out of Luger's line of sight). Right hand, kick, right, off the ropes, ducks a Nash clothesline, another clothesline ducked, Nash manages a sidewalk slam and BOTH men are down. Luger puts on the count....he's up to seven before Nash drapes an arm on Bagwell - Luger slowly over to check - yep, both shoulders down...one....two....Bagwell JUST kicks out. Luger puts up two fingers to a chorus of boos. Bagwell up with a right, right, into the corner is reversed, Bagwell up and over....and caught on the shoulder. Snake Eyes lands - there's a big boot. Nash calls him over - Luger checks both shoulders...one....two....Nick Patrick-esque "let me slide this hand under his shoulder - no, it's off the mat." Hudson: "It's like he's counting votes in Florida!" Nash points to Luger...who starts backpedaling. Just as he grabs him...Luger's trick knee acts up and Nash takes it in the jewels. Right by Bagwell, right, off the ropes with the swinging neckbreaker. Luger's cadence quickens, but Nash still manages to kick out at two. Bagwell outside and bringing back a chair. But Luger grabs it from him - he can't use that chair! Holding the chair out and lecturing him...Bagwell dropkicks it right into Nash's head! Bagwell makes the high sign - Luger helps up Nash....into the Blockbuster? But Nash gets out of the way and Bagwell ends up taking down NOTHIN'. Out from the crowd is DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE...Diamond Cutter for Luger! Hey, isn't that a DQ? Nash with a gutshot for Bagwell, the straps come down, truckstop powerbomb coming up...and there it is. Leg is hooked. Nash grabs Luger's limp arm and drops it - 1, 2, 3. (6:49) Before Nash can celebrate, WHITE THUNDER is out to waffle him with the lead pipe. KRONI>| are next, Page is back, ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL & JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET are out, we're all clustered up and it's TIME to go. Nothing EVER changes with this company.