Meanwhile, a door opens - a lighting guy leaves...and...well, maybe that a mistake. I dunno. Looked like Rick Steiner behind the door.

Here's a look at our crowd - it's 26.2.1 and we are on tape-delay from the ...well, maybe they'll tell us later

We look to that door again - this time, instead of a lighting guy, it's Scott Steiner, Rick Steiner and Road Warrior Animal. Bagwell and Luger join up with them as Scott starts beating up random security guys. On the nearby monitor, Page appears in the crowd. "Hey! Hey Einsteiner! Hey Einsteiner! How are you? How are you gonna take me out when you're back there - and I'M - OUT - HERE!" Steiner spikes the television and walks out to the stage...

Hit his music - MESH HEAD MUSH MOUTH walks to the ring and grabs the mic. "Page! Hey Page! I've searched through all the trailer parks here in New Orleans, I couldn't find ya, now I come to the building, I can't find ya, finding you here in New Orleans is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, 'cause all I see is white trash. Page! Page! Where you at? Page!" "You lookin' for me, Einsteiner? Hah? I'm over here, idiot! You think that I'm runnin' from you? I don't think so! I ain't afraid o' you, Steiner! The way I see it, I'm just playing mind games with that little mind o' yours. And speaking of mind moves, speaking of mind games, that dead man's walk you call that with all the guys you supposedly put out of professional wrestling - well, I talked to one of those dead guys today, and he didn't sound so dead. In fact, he told me he's coming tonight and he wants YOU as bad as I do!" "Page, I don't give a damn who you got - I said I'm gonna torture you at Greed - I'm gonna torture you tonight!" "Oh, you're gonna, oh you're gonna. I tell you what - I don't see nothing but air between me and you - why don't you go for it right now? Oh wait a minute, I do see a coupla thousand of my favourite Cajun crazies! You said you're gonna make my life a living hell, Steiner? Tonight, in New Orleans, I'm gonna make YOUR life a living hell, because tonight, you're goin' to Bangtown. Einsteiner, you will feel - the - !" Steiner leaves the ring, hops the rail and runs through the crowd - but ends up at a wall. D'oh.

LATER TONIGHT... Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett! Oh, and Ric Flair's the special guest referee. How many of you already have an idea how this match ends?

Promotional consideration paid for by Geico, Geico, Plus+White toothpaste, Nutra Nail, and Lean Pockets from Hot Pockets

We are NOT LIVE (that graphic's a LIE) from the UNO Lakefront in New Orleans, LA 26.2.1 on TNT for WCW Pardi Gras - WCW MONDAY NITRO!

Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE & SCOTT HUDSON - who will return tonight?

Here are your brackets for the Cruiserweight Tag-Team Championship Tournament as drawn up by the Cat! Rey Mysterio Jr. & Kidman vs. Johnny Swinger & Jason Lee, Evan Karagias & Shannon Moore vs. Jaime Knoble & Scotty O., Elix Skipper & Mystery Partner vs. Air Paris & A.J. Styles, and Yang & Kaz Hayashi vs. Kwee-Wee & Mike Sanders!

Also tonight, Dustin Rhodes takes on Jeff Jarrett with Ric Flair serving as special referee!

JOHNNY SWINGER & JASON LEE v. RAYMOND STEREO & (BILLY) KIDMAN in a Cruiserweight tag team tourney quarterfinal - nice to see Swinger's found a home once again - Mysterio has gone cyborg on us, wearing a half-mask cut down the middle with straps keeping it on. Swinger & Lee get to stomping as the Filthy Animals hit the ring - all four men still in the ring - oppoosite corners, Lee whips Swinger into a dump over the top by Mysterio - Kidman avoids a flying body attack and Lee crotches himself on the top buckle. Kidman with a dropkick to take Swinger to the floor, but Lee catches him in a sitout uranage (thanks, Hudson) for 2. Stomp by Lee - into the ropes, head down, kick by Kidman, tag, Lee put in the ropes, body scissors by Lee, Kidman pulling back on the arms, exposing him to Mysterio's dropkick. Seated dropkick by Mysterio. Greed is 20 days away - quebrada hits the knees. Lee with a chop, into the ropes, leapfrog but Rey holds on and nobody's there - Swinger with an apron run lariat to put Mysterio down. Tag to Swinger - double hangup on the top rope. Stomp, stomp, forearm in the corner, to the opposite corner, sternum first, Mysterio bounces back into a side Russian legsweep by Swinger. Swinger back to a cocky pose. Into the ropes, Mysterio ducks a punch, waistlock, back elbow by Swinger, to a side headlock, to a swinging neckbreaker between the legs - Kidman saves at 2. Into the corner, boot up by Rey, Swinger sidesteps a charge, Mysterio up and over, Swinger land a right, right, into the ropes, Mysterio trademark spin, off the ropes, dueling crossbody blocks (camera went out - oops) and both men are down.

Look! It's the Cat! And he's WALKING!!

LATER TONIGHT... Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett

WCW's Road to Spring Breakout 2001 is running wild! Next week: Clemson! Brought to you by 1-800-COL-LECT and America (ha!) Online!

Here's a look at New Orleans - visit wcw.com to find out about...umm....more

Here comes CAT - we take you back to last Monday to explain why Ms. Jones isn't around tonight. Cat hates Chris Kanyon. Also, the NBA airs on TNT Wednesdays & Thursdays. Cat says in order to get at Chris Kanyon, he'll have to step down as commissioner. Then, he's gonna eat his ass like a pot of collard greens. Words fail me - as did logic to the Cat, seemingly. Here comes THE CEO. "I think you finally get it. You've got it so good right now that you walked out here and did what I woulda made you do anyway, and that's give up that commissionership. You know why I can do that? It's because I'm the boss. And since you did it for me, from now on we're gonna call you Citizen Cat. Buddy, you can't beat us, you can't join us, all you can do, Cat, is do what I tell you to do, and if you want Kanyon, tonight, you don't get Kanyon tonight - you can get Kanyon at Greed - not before, you know why? Because I'm making it that way. I'm the man." "First of all, old man, you better get the hell out of my face. Because I'm telling you right now, I'll go through your ass right now, right now, right now, right now!" "You go through my ass? You know, I could snap my fingers, the Steiners'd be out here killing ya! Totally Buffed be out here killing ya! But you got me now - you got ME mad - do you know what that means? You got ME right now, jack." Flair removes his jacket and his watch and assumes the stance....then breaks into a smile. "You know what - sometimes I get that old time feeling - but I'm the boss, I'm the CEO, I ain't wrestling any more! I got the Magnificent Seven, and you ain't gonna get me riled up, buddy, ain't gonna happen." And the he POPS him one! Cat absorbs it and throws a karate chop to the throat, then he does a wildman dance, chop, dance, chop, into the ropes, gutshot, dancing, uppercut, FLAIR FLOP! Feliner! Flair rolls out into the waiting arms of SECURITY, who get him separated from Cat. "HEY! HEY! Now you're a dead man! Now you've got - now you've got me mad! You want a match tonight? You've got Rick Steiner tonight, buddy. And then, if you can make it through Steiner, you got to Greed with Kanyon - Steiner's gonna kill you - Steiner kill you - Steiner kill you - Rick Steiner'd kill you - woof woof woof. Rick Steiner'd kill you." Cat says he's gonna call his momma. "You're a dead man!"

Backstage, Konnan asks for the camera to be turned on...

CHUCK PALUMBO & SEAN O'HAIRE hit the ring - O'Haire has the stick - hide the children: "Canadians! We saw what you did to Kronik earlier, so why don't you walk your butts down here so we can...make this ring into a MURDER SCENE with the two of you! Come on!" O'Haire will get his pay docked for looking directly into the camera, by the way.

Oh oh! Mike Awesome & Lance Storm are WALKING!

CHUCK PALUMBO & SEAN O'HAIRE v. LANCE STORM & AWESOME MIKE AWESOME in a nontitle bout - this match apparently started during the break - O'Haire into the corner, elbow up on Awesome, clothesline down. Arm wringer, tag to Palumbo, arm wringer, double arm wringer takedown. O'Haire pulling Awesome holding the ropes, Palumbo with the leapfrog onto the back. Leg is hooked - Storm saves at 2. Palumbo runs at Storm but he's too quick - Awesome with a clothesline as he turns back. Tag to Storm - Palumbo into the rope, double clothesline takes him down. Storm slaps him - Palumbo fires back - right, right, right, Greed is 20 days away, into the ropes is reveresed, shoulderblock by Palumbo, off the ropes, up and over, catching Storm's leapfrog, fallaway slam! Free shot for Awesome...but Palumbo turns back to eat Storm's superkick! Tag to Awesome - into the ropes, Palumbo over Storm but Awesome hits the slingshot clothesline for 2. Spinebuster - awesome splash - 1, 2, no. Crowd chants "USA." Head to the buckle, Storm makes some illegal moves while referee "Blind" Jamie Tucker occupies himself with keeping O'Haire in his corner. Whip into the corner, Awesome whipped by Storm into Palumbo - Storm follows up with a lariat. For some reason, Lex Luger's music starts up and everybody stops to take a look at the Nitron. KANYON appears from behind, pulls O'Haire to the floor, and hits the Flatliner on him. Stomp, stomp, run. Storm and Awesome put Palumbo in the corner - do si do whip, but nobody's home for Awesome as Palumbo steps aside - then ducks Storm's spinning heel kick. Right hand for Storm, into the ropes, Storm ducks, but Palumbo powerslams him. Readying himself for the Jungle Kick - and hits it! Awesome slips off the top rope (scary) but recovers with a clothesline for Palumbo. Spinebuster by Awesome - Canadian Maple Leaf - and Palumbo taps. (we saw 3:39) O'Haire back in - Awesome works *him* over...but O'Haire punches back, then clotheslines Storm - the Canadians head for higher ground. They pose with their backs to the ramp...bringing out KONNAN. He doesn't get much action in before we cut to

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, Nutra Nail (again), Plus+White (again), Hot Pockets from Hot Pockets, and America (ha!) Online!

Moments Ago, Sean O'Haire said (and I'm guessing - no idea what he's saying) "Kanyon! I want a piece of you, punk! You're even dumber, you bit off more than you can chew, boy! I wanna see who's at you tonight!"

Backstage, Flair and Kanyon react to this - Flair asks him to give O'Haire another Flatliner and end it tonight.

Earlier Today, DDP said some stuff to somebody just off camera to his right. Steiner may be a genetic freak, but he's no mental giant. Whoa, he actually *turns to the camera* to say "I'm still standing!"

Cat vs. Rick Steiner is NEXT!

Greed

RICK WOOF WOOF (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. CAT in a nontitle match - Steiner rushes him in the aisle and it starts out there. Hey, the NBA plays on TNT Wednesdays & Thursdays. Highlight of this match is referee "Blind" Scott James repeatedly displaying his stripes to Rick Steiner as if to say "Hey, look, I'm wearing stripes." Ref bump, TOTALLY BUFFED with the run-in, HUGH MORRUS with the *second* run-in, knee brace to Steiner's head - Feliner - cover - 1, 2, 3. (6:52) *Third* run-in by WHITE THUNDER, who punks out Cat, then applies the Steiner Recliner to Hugh Morrus, daring DDP to come out and save his friend. Well, here comes DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE HAS CRAPPY MUSIC - the house afire bit is cut short once Page realises he's one man and they're four men. Does ANY of this make you want to not turn the channel to RAW? WHOOOOOOAAAA Hey something just did - BOOKA T. runs out and cleans house, then he, Page and Cat clear the ring. Where'd Hugh Morrus go? WHOA T's let his hair get nappy, hasn't he? "Hey Page, I thought you said you were bringin' somebody - Booker T, you're NOBODY." "I been at home for two months, thinking about this over and over and over. Either we can do this, or you got your two little buddies right there, I got two o' my partners, let's do this right now! And yeah, by the way, I noticed lately you ain't gotcher freak witcha, so tonight, in New Orleans, I'm gon' make you mah number one freak, now can u dig that." THE CEO joins Steiner as he answers: "I tell you what - I hurt you before, I'll hurt you again - Ric, Ric, do me a favour, make this match right now!" "You got it, Champ! It's booked - a six man - right now! You want it, you got it."

BOOKA T. & DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE HAS CRAPPY MUSIC & CAT v. WHITE THUNDER & TOTALLY BUFFED - Flair joins the commentary team.

Hot DAMN Booker T. is *still* the man. Good for him.

Thunder ad

Backstage, Scott Steiner goes on a trashing spree

Meanwhile, Page and Cat congratulate Booker T.

Let's Take a Special Video Look at Dustin Rhodes' return to WCW...and Dusty's as well. And...Jeff Jarrett's sendup of the Dweem

Dustin Rhodes talks to an unseen person just off camera and to his right. Tonight, *he'll* be Jeff Jarrett's daddy - and Flair best keep his snout out of it. They'll NEVER forget the name of Dustin Rhodes.

LATER TONIGHT... Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett! Yes! Ric Flair is the special guest referee!

Here's a Special Video Look at the WCW Float at Pardi Gras - brought to you by 1-800-COL-LECT and America (ha!) Online - was that *the* Riki Rachtman?

Close captioning on this show provided by Meineke! Not youreke, MEINEKE!

WCW Spring Break-Out 2001 is more than the last Nitro, it's a chance for you to win a trip there! Log onto wcw.com to find out! If I say "1-800-COL-LECT and America (ha!) Online" one more time, SHOOT ME!

Next week, the party heads to Greenville! BONG BONG BONG

Man, what if they DID manage to keep the viewers with that great six-man match? Do you think they've sat through all this NON-match crap AFTERWARD? One step up, two steps back...

SHANNON MOORE (with Outrageous Evan Karagias & Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. SHANE HELMS (with Let Us Take You Back to SuperBrawl Revenge) - Helms has a cheesy rap which is probably named "Vertebraeker" since they say it over and over. In a slight breach of etiquette, they start fighting during the clips - Moore on him, right, into the ropes, duck, hiptoss blocked, Moore up on his shoulder, jawbreaker on the knee, running neckbreaker. Right, right, right, into the opposite corner, boot up by Moore, sidesteps a charge, climbs to the second rope - ten punch count along stops at 2 - running Ligerbomb (Hudson: "Sugarbomb") for 2. Into the ropes, reversed, kicked by Moore, dumped on the apron, Helms' right puts him on the floor. Helms out after him and the chase is on - but Karagias catches Helms - right hand, throats him on the safety rail, and throws him back in to Moore. Right, into the corner, Helms dumps him on the apron, right by Moore, head to the canvas, top rope moonsault with a twist...and only gets 2! Moore stays on him - right, right, into the opposite corner, nobody home on the charge - Sugar Smack (superkick) lands for Helms. Right, right, into the ropes, biiiig back body drop - but Karagias has pulled him out again...trading blows on the outside - here comes Moore - somersault plancha but Helms isn't there - Karagias was folded in HALF on that! Back in the ring - Helms with a *huge* plancha...but only 2! Helms calls for the Vertebraeker...but Karagias is on the apron again - Helms forearms him out - Moore with a knee, calling for Bottoms Up - but Helms slips the attempt, setting him up for the Vertebraeker - and hitting it! 1, 2, 3! (3:24) Post-match, CHAVO GUERRERO JR. comes out and punks out Helms - then invites Moore and Karagias to help him take out Helms. Chavo takes off to let 3 Count celebrate. Plaly their music! Helms pulls himself back up - I think he wants Chavo now...but that ain't gonna happen - we MUST cut NOW to

Kid Romeo

Riki Rachtman takes us to Pardi Gras - with Fastball, wrestlers, Nitro Grrls, 1-800-COL-LECT, America (eh) Online, and if you hadn't changed the channel by now, THIS just might have pushed you over the edge.

Another Road to the Spring Break-Out ad - I don't want to type it any more

KANYON (with Earlier Tonight) v. SEAN O'HAIRE - Much like Kanyon did earlier in the night, O'Haire hits the ring from behind and crossbodys them BOTH out of the ring to the floor! Kanyon into the safety rail hard. Back in the ring...Kanyon on him as he parts the ropes - forearm, forearm. Into the ropes, reversed, drops down for the gutshot, knee to the head. Right hand by O'Haire, right, scooped up...and tossed across the ring. Into the ropes, big powerslam. 1, 2, Kanyon kicks out. Palm thrust by O'Haire. Climbing up to the second rope...but Kanyon uppernuts him to stop that. Kanyon up on the second rope as well - super side Russian legsweep! Greed is 20 days away, by the way. Cover - 2. Kanyon with a textbook suplex. Kanyon outside - slingshot back in with the elbowdrop...for 1. Up to the second turnbuckle - Rocker Dropper from the top to the mat. O'Haire is no selling - and he looks pissed. O'Haire with a forearm to the back - Slop Drop -1 , 2, Kanyon weakly kicks out. Kanyon in the ropes, head down, forearm by Kanyon, swinging fishermanbuster gets 2. Kanyon to the headlock. O'Haire elbows out - into the ropes, hiplock blocked, Kanyon with a swinging neckbreaker - covers for 2. Scoop..and a slam by Kanyon. Kanyon going up top again...big splash - but no water in the pool. O'Haire with a spinning spin kick - both men are down and referee "Blind" Billy Silverman puts on the count. O'Haire ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own - there's another. Going for a suplex - but just drops him from the apex. Into the corner, reversed, O'Haire up on over, Kanyon has him from the shoulders - sitout powerbomb - 2! Kanyon puts him in the ropes, reversed, up on the shoulders...over the shoulder spinebuster (Hudson: "inverted Death Valley driver") - and O'Haire signals for the Seantonbomb - up to the top rope with one leap - Seantonbomb lands - 1, 2, 3! (4:55) When I get my hair cut, I'm gonna go with O'Haire's look, I think.

The 1-800-COL-LECT replay is Booker T.'s axe kick and pin of Scott Steiner.

UP NEXT... Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett with Ric Flair as the special referee!

It's uncanny - Buff Bagwell is *still* charging stuff to Lee M. Cardholder's WCW MasterCard - how does he keep getting AWAY with that???

See the stars of WCW live - while you still can! Next Sunday, Johnson City! Greenville for Nitro next week. Tix on sale now for McMinnville and Knoxville for Nitro!

JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. AD BREAK - "Duthin Rhodes, fruit o' my loins, ooh if ya will, come on out here cause the Chosen One hath got a clubberin' he'd just LUV to put on you. Ya see, Dustin, not even your fat old man, the Original American Dream, Dusty Rhodes can save you from what I'm gonna do to you tonight. You're outmanned, you're outnumbered, and you're just like Cat, Booker T and all the rest of 'em: you're soon to be outta here - now choke on that, Slapnut.

NEXT: Dustin Rhodes is WALKING!

Greed ad (with "Take It" in the background - and also that other "WCW Mayhem" track)

JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET v. DUSTIN RHODES (with Let Us Take You Back to Thunder) - I didn't hear an opening bell, but we're off - into the ropes, Jarrett slides under, but Rhodes lands a clothesline this time. Right, right, into the corner, Jarrett up and over but Rhodes didn't go under him. Head to the buckle. Rhodes into the ropes, Rhodes catches the kick, spins him around and hits a lariat. Jarrett put outside with a clothesline - Rhodes wants to follow but Flair won't let him. They chat for a while until Jarrett is back in and up from behind with a forearm. Head to the buckle. Right hand - Dustin puts him in the corner - slap, slap, Flair hooks his arm on the next one and tries to get him out of the corner...Jarrett with a blindside forearm in the process. Now Rhodes is in the corner - Jarrett ready to haul off but Flair hooks *his* arm. Jarrett expresses disapproval, then tries another swing - Rhodes ducks, atomic drop - through the ropes and he follows him out this time. Jarrett put in the safety rail - right, right, whip into the opposite safety rail. Flair tells them to take it back inside. Rhodes with a right. Scoops up Jarrett - then throats him on the guard rail. Right hand. They're up on the ramp now - Rhodes mounts him and throws five rights. Flair again tries to get it back to the ring. Rhodes with a right, Jarrett rolled back in under the bottom rope - Rhodes through the ropes - winds up and lets loose with the right. Another straight right hand. Right, Jarrett sat up on top, right, Rhodes climbing up after him...superplex? SUPERPLEX! Flair counts 1...... 2........ and Jarrett gets the shoulder up after the slow count. Rhodes takes umbrage - Flair shoves - and Rhodes shoves him down. Jarrett from behind - off the ropes, and Flair lowers the bridge, taking Rhodes over the top to the floor. Jarrett outside with a chair - WHACK! The ref fails to disqualify him, heh heh. Jarrett puts Rhodes into the safety rail. Kick by Jarrett. Did Jarrett just break the count? Rhodes rolled back in - stomp, stomp, stomp, climbing the corner to pose. Jarrett puts Rhodes into the ropes, and here's a sleeper! Rhodes fights it but falls to one knee. Flair tries to drop the arm...then shoves it down when it doesn't go. Now they're dropping - arm falls once - arm falls twice - arm doesn't fall thrice and all Flair can do is look at it. Rhodes to his feet, Jarrett put into the ropes, sleeper by Rhodes! Into a side headlock, into a suplex! Flair starts the mandatory ten count...up to five as Jarrett stirs. Rhodes put in the ropes, drops down and uppercuts Jarrett. Jarrett bounces off the ropes, Rhodes with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," Jarrett bounces off and we repeat, and there's the lariat! Right by Rhodes, into the ropes, big powerslam, Rhodes going up top - could this be the bulldog? Jarrett gets back up, so Rhodes does *not* go up - instead, he comes back in and slaps the taste out of his mouth. Setting up for the powerbomb...check that, it's a piledriver! Rhodes demands Flair count and muscles him into position - 1, 2, Jarrett gets the shoulder up! Jarrett in the corner, Rhodes kicks, then climbs - ten punch count along ensues. Flair pulls him back - Rhodes with a gutshot for Flair - trying to pull the stripes over his head, but Jarrett is up from behind with a forearm - Rhodes ducks the clothesline and uses his momentum to hit the bulldog on Flair! Gutshot for Jarrett - bulldog for Jarrett! Rhodes covers and grabs Flair's arm - 1, 2, Flair pulls his arm away!! Flair begging off in the corner...Rhodes with a right hand - now setting him up for Shattered Dreams...Flair trying to hop up and down like crazy - Jarrett has the gee-tar behind him - I think Rhodes managed to kick him in the groin (or at least, we're meant to get that impression), then turn around and pop Jarrett with a right. Now he's setting up *Jarrett* in the opposite corner - and grabbing the guitar. But Flair is up - and there's the uppernut from Flair. Rhodes turns back to fall into the Stroke - Flair suddenly finds a fair cadence - 1, 2, 3. (8:43) Flair and Jarrett hightail it as BOOKA T. & DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE HAS CRAPPY MUSIC & CAT hit the ring - just behind the credits. We're gone.