Greed hype

Wolverine Boots and Shoes bring you the Stomp of the Night - a crappy run-in, another crappy run-in, and an announced main event of epic proportions

Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE & SCOTT HUDSON - *this* is WCW Monday Nitro, coming to you via tape delay 5.3.1 from Greenville, SC and the BI-LO Center - I've said it before and I'll say it again: BI-LO is "a great place to shop." Earlier this week, Ric Flair's office announced a Jeff Jarrett/Dusty Rhodes feature bout. Yes, you read right.

Let Us Take You Back Five Weeks, where Dusty did some elbow stuff

Here's your tourney graphic. The Filthy Animals will take on the winner of the 3 Count/Jaime Knoble & Scotty O. match - also, the Jung Dragons will fight the Skipper & ?/Paris & Styles winner.

A.J. STYLES & AIR PARIS (with Let Us Take You Back two weeks to Thunder) v. AD BREAK - Elix Skipper is WALKING!

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by Castrol Motor Oily!

A.J. STYLES & AIR PARIS v. "PRIMETIME" ELIX SKIPPER and ? - "For all you people that don't know...this is MY house! And I built this house! I'ma show you rednecks something you ain't NEVAAAAAH seen before! In fact, you are looking at one half of the first ever, and I mean EVER, cruiserweight tag team champions! I know, I know - you wanna know who my partner is. You guys wanna know who's ready for Prime Time? Well WCW, without further ado, I give you KID ROMEO." Romeo, to my knowledge, isn't Canadian. Unfortunately (fortunately?) he doesn't have the glowsticks with him for this entrance, but he *does* have pullapart pants...which I'm sure pisses off Buff Bagwell. Lockup, arm drag by Romeo...and jumping jacks. He's like Rick Martel! Collar and elbow - Styles returns the favour - HE does some jacks. Third time's a charm - no, gutshot by Romeo, overhand right, right, right, chop, chop, into the ropes, Styles holds on - then dumps Romeo to the floor when he charges. He's gonna fly...no, sliding into a bodyscissors by Romeo - and face first onto the commentary table! Back inside - Paris tries a tope but Skipper Matrixes under and Paris sails through to the floor - at least landing on Romeo on his way down. Here comes Skipper...pescado with a twist right onto Paris! Over to Styles - whipped into the guard rail, Styles leaps up and hits a backflip off (!) and lands on his feet when Skipper ducks - gutshot, knee, forearm, down the back - almost like a Tarantula on the floor, putting Skipper's head in perfect position for Paris' leg lariat - whoa! Romeo off the steps with a flying clothesline onto Paris. Only Romeo is left standing. He grabs Paris and puts him back in the ring - stomp, stomp, into the ropes, scoop, Paris up and over and Styles joining him - double gutshot, into the ropes, into the H bomb position, but whipped down and forward into a double face jam - Styles covers - 1, 2, Skipper saves. Euro forearm, into the ropes, kick ducked, Paris joins him - Double Elimination? Skipper rolled up - drop toehold by Paris for the sentonbomb by Styles - Greed is 13 days away, thanks graphic - Paris covers for 1 and Romeo makes a superfluous save. Paris put in the corner - brief doubleteam. Paris into the ropes, but he catches himself - off the bottom rope, up and over, superkick for Skipper finds the mark! Hmm, Hudson name drops his old Centre Stage (and r.s.p-w) cohort Steven Prazak, who has an NWA Wildside connection to Styles & Paris - interesting. Kevin Bacon fits into this somewhere as well. Both men need a tag and both men are out of position - both men DO tag - Right by Styles, one for Skipper, one for Romeo, scoop slam for each men, tag to Paris - double dropkick for skipper - one for Romeo puts him on the floor. Paris up top - somersault plancha onto Romeo (and with the back of his head on the floor as well)! Styles watching - umm, behind you, buddy - Skipper mauls him to the mat. Skipper to the apron - top rope Asai moonsault on Paris AND Romeo! Konnan and Lance Storm on Thunder, by the way. Is Romeo bleeding? Styles back up - top rope plancha onto all three men! Skipper rolled back in by Styles - Skipper up and over off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, but not the dropkick. Styles laying in wait - off the ropes - but Romeo lowers the bridge. Romeo whips him into the STEEL steps - Paris on Romeo, but Romeo turns it around - whip into the mat is reversed - Romeo flubs the boost onto the mat off Paris' charge, but they cover just in time for Skipper's springboard dropkick to connect...and Romeo turns this to a powerslam as Paris falls to the mat. As Skipper hits *another* pescado onto Styles, we see CHAVO GUERRERO JNR checking it out from the top of the ramp - oh, good, we didn't have enough going on with highspot after highspot, right? Back to the ring, Paris put in - Skipper with a springboard dropkick on his way in, and Paris staggers to Romeo, who delivers a Death Valley Bomb and scores the pin. (5:30) One of the two men was legal, at least.

Backstage, Sean O'Haire talks to an unseen presence just over the cameraman's left shoulder. Chuck Palumbo lurks in the shadows as well. O'Haire doesn't sound as goofy as he normally does...is that a positive or a negative?

LATER TONIGHT... DDP and Booker T. vs. the Steiner Brothers!

LATER TONIGHT... Jeff Jarrett vs. Dusty Rhodes!

THE NARCISSIST (with Let Us Take You Back to two previous Thunders) v. SEAN O'HAIRE - Witchblade is coming this summer on TNT - at this rate, it will be on in this timeslot, if you catch my drift. I know better than to call this match, but I'm already super late, so let's draw it out and see what happens. O'Haire ducks a big kick, but not a big gutshot. Big elbow. Big double sledge to the traps, big right, big kick. Big stomp. Big kick. Luger grabs the arm and gets a big kick to the exposed midsection. Another big kick. Into the ropes, reversed, O'Haire has him across his shoulders, then dumps him on his back for 2. I think he hurt HIMSELF more than Luger - anyway, Luger busts out a big jawbreaker to turn it back. Big atomic drop. Big clothesline. Luger is approaching the magic number of TEN BIG MOVES this match! Leg is hooked, but it's still a lax cover - 2. Big elbowdrop, big elbowdrop, motioning to his Ace toolbox elbow, WALKING off the ropes, and dropping the loaded elbow - but O'Haire rolls out of the way! There's a clothesline! Another clothesline - leg is hooked, and he gets 2. O'Haire picks him up, puts him in the corner, right, left, right, right to the head, double trapezeus hold...referee "Blind" Billy Silverman pulls him off. Standing on the neck - again Silverman warns him off. Kick to the back by O'Haire. Daring him to get up - into the opposite corner we go, but Luger gets a big boot up. ACE TOOLBOX ELBOW!! But Luger poses to two sides of the arena before hooking the leg - and again allowing O'Haire plenty of room to raise his shoulder at 2. O'Haire shoved into the corner, big kick, big kick, big kick. Big Irish whip into the opposite corner - oh yeah, Greed is 13 days away - O'Haire stairsteps up the ropes and backflips off...but clutches his left knee after landing. Luger wastes no time kicking the left knee - and one more time - and there's another stomp. In the corner now, repeatedly stomping on the knee. CHUCK PALUMBO runs out as Luger continues to stomp on the knee - Palumbo tries to grab his partner, but Luger kicks him away. Palumbo back over - pulling Luger outside and landing with the right. Palumbo hammering him - Silverman letting it go - meanwhile, BUFF DADDY BAGWELL is out with a STEEL chair - to the left knee, to the back, rolling him back over and ready to Pillmanize the left leg. *Finally* Silverman catches wind of shenanigans and gets Bagwell out of the ring...and removes the chair. Amazingly, there's STILL no bell. O'Haire with the small package - 1, 2, no. Luger calls for some help while Silverman yells at Palumbo - Luger holding him for the Buff Blockbuster - of course, O'Haire drops out and *Luger* ends up taking it. O'Haire puts him in position for the Seantonbomb as Palumbo pulls out Bagwell - leg is hooked - 1, 2, 3. (6:08) I'm sorry but that was, as we in the business describe it, tres lame. Bagwell *does* get a Buff Blockbuster on O'Haire after the bell, but it all seems so meaningless now. Okay, play his music, we're moving on.

Hey! Two nights of the Kings on national television in a row! Can you beat that with a stick? (Yeah, Webber's back.) BOOYA! Hope we can beat the Suns...

Outside, a black limousine pulls into the arena - dig that crazy pair of cameraman legs reflected in the front license plate.

Inside, Kanyon thanks Shawn Stasiak for the ride to the hospital - he's apparently going to visit Ms. Jones (what, she travels from hospital to hospital?) - Stasiak offers a signed photo to cheer her up. Meanwhile, M.I. Smooth is taking all this in from the driver's seat...until he raises the little window...

Meanwhile, Chavo Guerrero Jr. talks to....hell, I have no idea. Somebody just off camera who says nothing and could very well not exist. Or maybe they're propping up Okerlund's corpse but it's too grisly to put in the camera shot. What did Guerrero talk about? I wasn't paying attention...

Meanwhile, Storm taunts Konnan, Awesome attacks from behind, Morrus tries to make a save, and Security saves us from this segment. None too soon!

LATER TONIGHT... DDP and Booker T. vs. the Steiner Brothers!

UP NEXT... Jeff Jarrett vs. Dusty Rhodes - quick, call your Mom!

Promotional consideration paid for by Hot Pockets (again), 1-800-BAR-NONE, NutraNail (again), Plus+White (again), America (ha!) Online, and Hot Pockets (again) (again)

JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. ECW's DUSTY RHODES - "Tonight, the Chosen One has finally achieved his destiny in putting the Rhodes name and legend to rest. Now Ric Flair didn't want this match to take place, but I told the Nature Boy that I was gonna beat the American Dream Dusty Rhodes, right here, right in the middle of the ring, in Greenville, just like I did his good for nothing son last week on Nitro! So Dream, come on down here...so I can finally put your big fat white ass to rest." Tony tells us this is a big moment in Nitro, and surely he'd know, right? Of course, it's a man in Rhodes mask, black hat, and plenty of padding. "Fans, I apologise - I really do." What, there's no wolf, Tone? Strangely, they don't play their ripoff of "American Dream" - perhaps somebody made some lawsuit noise about it the last time they did that? "I can tell you came to fight - you know how? You didn't bring your bucket of fried chicken, now let's go." Referee "Blind" Mickie J. reluctantly rings the bell and we're on. Comical jump by "Rhodes" into the collar and elbow, side headlock by Jarrett - powered into the ropes, but Jarrett grabs the ropes and hits his strut. Jarrett winds up his elbow...but halts as Rhodes begs off. Jarrett likes it. Knee to the padding by Jarrett - winding up the right...and poking the glasses. Double chop! Crotch grab! Winding it up...and his trick knee acts up. BIONIC ELBOW! Elbowdrop - 1, 2, 3. (0:56) "Cut the music! I'm gonna seal this deal with a kiss, 'cause finally the Dream is gonna kiss the Chosen One's ass!" Here comes DUSTIN RHODES - right hand, right, into the ropes, atomic drop, lariat, climbing to the second rope for the Ten Punch Count Along. Uppercut, uppercut puts him on the floor. Rhodes whips Jarrett into the safety rail (Jarrett almost slows to a walk before landing). Head to the safety rail. Rolled back in the ring - right hand, into the ropes is reversed, but Rhodes hits the bulldog! Now setting him up for Shattered Dreams but "Dusty" is stirring...hmmm, if I didn't know better, I'd say that's Ric Flair under that makeup - oh, I *don't* know better. Seeing Flair collapse at a punch that didn't come within five feet of landing from Rhodes seals the deal. Jarrett knocks him down and gets to stompin - and Flair joins him. Harrett tries really hard to grab a chair as Flair chops on him. Jarrett with a chair to the back - and again. Hmmm, the "American Dream" ripoff *does* play - well here *is* ECW's DUSTY RHODES - three people are marking out - two are in Tennessee, and the other one is in Rhode Island. Elbow for Flair - one for Jarrett, right for Flair, flip flop and fly for Jarrett -

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Close captioning where available sponsored by Meineke Discount Mufflers!

See the stars of WCW - while you still can! Sunday it's McMinnville! Next Monday, join E.C. Ostermeyer for Nitro and Thunder in Knoxville! Greed hits Jacksonville next Sunday! Nitro hits Gainseville the following Monday! Hurry, hurry, there's only three weeks of WCW remaining!

Moments Ago, Rhodes, Jarrett, Rhodes, Flair, and Rhodes

CHAVO GUERRERO JNR (with TV-14-DL ratings box and Let Us Take You Back to Last Week - by the way, those of us in the business call him "Chavito" to look smarter) v. SUGAR SHANE HELMS (with the Nitro Grrrls and a new entrance) in a nontitle match - this is a pay-per-view match, but since you wouldn't possibly be interested in paying to see it, here it is for free. Helms enters to darkness and spotlights - and "Vertebraeker." Run-in is provided by KID ROMEO & ELIX SKIPPER, who pull Helms off the apron and knock his jaw on the mat on the way to the floor.

LATER TONIGHT... DDP and Booker T. vs. the Steiner Brothers - hello? Anybody still out there?

Time now for the WCW Road to Spring Break-Out 2001, brought to you as always by 1-800-COL-LECT and America Online! RIKI RACHTMAN parties with ... Gran Turino? No, I don't care - in fact, I think I'm PURPOSELY misspelling it so *don't* bother to write me with a correction because I DON'T CARE and you need to GET A LIFE and and and

And now we're at Ms. Jones' hotel room, where Kanyon (dressed in hospital gown) instructs the camera crew to keep the [two] cameras rolling and make sure they get *everything*. Jones sees Kanyon - and screams - Kanyon covers her mouth and gets dramatic. To get to the Cat, he's gotta get through her - nothing personal, but he hates the Cat. Cat shows up at this point (he must always walk around shirtless) and lays out Kanyon - but checks on Jones too soon - Kanyon breaks a (poster?) over his back and *there's the bedpan shot!* Kanyon grabs a crutch...but Cat stops him just in time. Leave it to Cat to shout "I'm the greatest!" while fighting Kanyon. HE'S going to swing a crutch to Kanyon - but he kicks him in the nuts *just in time*. Kanyon advances on Jones yet again...but Cat breaks a bottle over his head. Then Cat...defibrulates his ass. Fortunately, although he's touching Jones, she feels no shock at all. Cat advances on the camerman demanding the tape...and we're mercifully out.

Damn, I mean if it's not even funny when it's *Austin and McMahon...*

Wanna hit the beach and party hardcore style at the WCW Spring Break-Out and Last Nitro Ever on Panama City Beach? Visit wcw.com!

Next week, Nitro hits Knoxville! I have it on good authority that there will be at least one "Who the hell is E.C. Ostermeyer?" sign in the crowd as well

AWESOME MIKE AWESOME (with Let Us Take you Back to Last Week) v. WHO? HUGH! MORRUS - Morrus pulls Awesome out...and hits the ring behind him. Awesome in as Morrus stokes the crowd. Lockup, side headlock by Morrus, Awesome to the kidneys to break it - they collide and nobody moves. Witchblade is coming this summer! Morrus off the ropes...into the big boot. Awesome drops the elbow.

UP NEXT...DDP and Booker T. vs. the Steiner Brothers! Umm, but there's *24* minutes left in this show?!?

Yet another WCW Road to Spring Break-Out special video look - don't tell me I saw a *Harris* brother? Holy cow, there he is again! I'm so tired of typing 1-800-COL-LECT and America (ha) Online.

Next week, it's the University of Tennessee - don't make me drop E.C.'s name one more time

RICK WOOF WOOF (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) and MESH HEAD MUSH MOUTH (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE - remember when Scott Steiner had *four* women accompanying him to ringside? It's almost kinda *sad* to see him with zero women these days...well, not really. If we're REALLY lucky, the champ will grace us with a few words before we sneak in another ad break. Whoops, it's Rick: "Booker T - I don't know what you're thinking - heat the player, hate the game. I don't know what fairy tale you're in, but you make me sick. We ain't back in Houston where you can lead the band out to the...field, we're in a real man's business, and your brother ain't here to save ya. (Witchblade comes this summer to TNT) So...you want me to get a beatin' o' your life? Why don't you accept the challenge, to take me on at the pay-per-view at Greed. If you want some, you come get some - shut up! You don't like me, bite me." "You know I grabbed the tape from last Monday night Nitro, stuck it in the VCR and pushed rewind over and over, listenin' to Diamond Dallas Page saying he's gonna outthink me. But I noticed every time he said something, his lips weren't movin', 'cause quite frankly, Diamond Dallas Page, you're talkin' outcher ass if you think you're gonna outthink me. Nobody has ever outthought me in this business, especially white trash like you. But I will give you one advantage: see, when you run,

NEXT: Diamond Dallas Page and Booker T. are WALKING!

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STEINER BROTHERS v. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE HAS CRAPPY MUSIC (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) and NAPPY T. - "Yo! Dogface - first of all, I accept your challenge on one condition: it's for the US title at pay-per-view, WCW Greed, and not only will I be the US champ after it's all over, DDP gon' be the world champ, and like I always say, don't hate the player, hate the game." They rush the ring and here we go - Pier Four in opposite corners - back and forth we go - Page on Scott and Booker on Rick - hey, Page with the pescado! Back in the ring - Rick gets a superkick from T - Scott runs in and gets T from behind, and he lands on the floor - Rick puts him in the barricade - Page with a flying clothesline on Scott - whip is reversed, Rick holds onto the ankle and Scott pounds on Page. Upside down to the turnbuckle, tied to the Tree of Woe, and Scott kicks away. Now outside the ring and pulling back on the neck. Rick is in the ring and kicking as well. Finally it's one on one - whip is reversed, Rick catches the kick but eats the discus lariat. Both men tag - running clothseline for Scott, one for Rick, one for Scott, Scott rolls out - gutshot for Rick, vertical suplex, leg is hooked, 2. Rick put in the ropes, but he halts himself - T runs at him but he ducks...and Scott lowers the bridge, taking him outside. Scott puts him in the safety rail. Chair to the side! WHACK! Of course, referee "Blind" Mickie J. is busy trying to keep Page out of the action. Put back in the ring where Rick covers...and gets 2. Forearm in the back by Steiner. Into the ropes, Steinerline. Rick taunts Page, distracting J. - Steiners pull the old "clap my hands to simulate a tag" routine, and J. buys it. Belly-to-belly by Scott for 2. T put in the ropes, Steinerline. Kiss the bicep, drop the elbow - 1, no no no it's pushup time for Scott. T tossed outside to Rick - into the safety rail. Kick. Short clothesline by Rick...and putting T back in the ring for his brother. Steiner puts a foot between the shoulderblades and pulls back on the arms (just say bow and arrow) - okay, bow and arrow - head to the buckle is blocked, though, and T fires back - elbow, right, right, right, right, did he just fake spitting into that last right? Into the ropes, head down, forearm by Steiner - blockbuster suplex! 1, 2, T barely gets a shoulder up! Chinlock, tag to Rick, who picks up on the chinlock, only applyling his own variant which involves raking the eyes. 1, 2, no. Into the ropes, T ducks and hits the flying jalapeno! Does he have enough left to breakdance up? Looks like no. T crawls to the wrong corner...now he's going the right way - and makes the HOT TAG!! Page in, ducks a Steinerline, right, left, right, discus lariat, shot for Scott, shot for Rick, into the ropes, clothesline. But Rick comes back with a gutshot, knee, knee, Page with a kick to the gut and DDT - Scott in to prevent a count - AND tag T while he's at it - gutshot for Page - belly-to-belly suplex. Scott goes out after T with the double sledge - whip into the safety rail is reversed - Scott goes down the aisle and T follows. Bott up by Page...but he runs into the Steinerline. T and Scott going backstage, looks like. Rick is standing on Page's neck. Page pulls himself up but we cut to T running Scott into the safety rail before we can see him come back. Back to the ring, where Rick is setting up for the second rope bulldog - backstage, Totally Buff and Road Warrior Animal have joined in on Booker T - Jarrett as well - back to the ring, where Page kicks out at 2. Rick sets up for the Driver, but Page knees out...but Steiner hits a German suplex. Steiner with the sign of the Diamond Cutter (heh) and going for the Driver once again...Page goes behind, dueling backslides - Page's trick knee acts up, Diamond Cutter - 1, 2, 3! (9:01) Page steals a mic and goes through the crowd. "Hey Steiner! Einsteiner! I'm still--" Scott Steiner from behind with a elbow to the back of the head! HA! Before they go backstage, credits are up and we're out. But...what happened to Booker T?