Last week on Nitro - Kevin Nash introduces the newest member of the Wolfpac - K-Dawg.

It's WCW Nitro! LIVE 4.5.98 from the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis, Indiana and rated TV-14.

Hey, look! It's the Nitro Girls!

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyzsko, who go on and on about the Wolfpac splitting from the NWO. Based on what we saw last week, apparently Brian Clark has chosen to run with the Wolfpac.

Let us take you back to last week - and show you the SAME damn clip you just saw three minutes ago. Randy Savage is in the Wolfpac, yup. Nash is mad at Bret Hart for hitting him with the belt, yup. Savage wants Bret Hart, yup. And Konnan walks out to join the Wolfpac.

EDDIE GUERRERO (with Chavo Guerrero, Jr and matching T-shirts) v. SCOTT NORTON - Eddie takes the mic beforehand and promises to show Chavo how a Guerrero wins tonight. Then, he calls out ... Scott Norton? Well, that's probably not the best choice, Eddie. As Norton walks to the ring, the commentators speculate on which side he may be - even while bringing up Norton's actions on the Wolfpac side after Spring Stampede. Eddie rolls outside, having "hurt his knee," and asks Chavo to take his place at ringside. So, one minute in, it becomes Chavo/Norton. As you might expect, Norton has his way with Chavo - embarrassing Eddie so much he has to put the towel over his head. Norton walks over and grabs Eddie. Chavo saves him with a dropkick to the knees from behind. Chavo gets a couple moves in, then comes out to argue with Eddie - unfortunately, when he reenters the ring, Norton is still there. Quickly, Norton takes the advantage, hits the shoulderbreaker and gets the pin. (2:26) Eddie berates Chavo for not beating Norton, when out comes Ultimo Dragon. Before we find out what that's about, we take an ad break.

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by Valvoline!

SCOTT PUTSKI v. (billy) KIDMAN - It started hailing during outside my window and I went to look at that, while the commentators talked about Brian Adams and the Wolfpac, and just to make sure we REALLY don't care about this match, the Wolfpac (Nash, Savage and Konnan) walk down to the ring (a la the Flock) where Nash jackknifes Putski (hey, I thought that was illegal and finable and jailable and stuff), and the other guys punch out Kidman (no decision 2:00ish). Nash gets the mic and gives a shout out to Scott Hall, then tells Sting & Giant that there will be no problem with their tag team title match at Slamboree. He then introduces the Wolfpac look - it's an NWO T- shirt, but the logo is red instead of white. "Hogan, you get your crew, I'll get my crew, we'll rendezvous." Savage gets the mic and talks about Bret Hart , guaranteeing that Hart will get screwed at their match, ooh yeah. Nash: "Last week, K-Dawg went ahead and made that jump to the pac - I hope you're watching there, Hollywood, 'cause we got one more - let's bring the newest member out RIGHT NOW!" And out comes...Curt Hennig! Interestingly enough, Hennig is stopped on his way out by ... Brian Adams? Adams tries to keep Hennig from hitting the ringside, totally destroying everything the commentators have said all night. Nash and Konnan call Adams "Hogan's stooge" and Konnan challenges Adams to a match later tonight. Nash then challenges Lex Luger and asks Sting to watch carefully. The hail is now marble sized. Oh yeah, Hennig removes his NWO shirt to show a red NWO shirt.

Let's take a special look at Raven - I'm going to go take a special look at the hail and thunder and lightning and hope the power doesn't go out. Besides, I *already* know Raven had an unhappy childhood.

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, Super Soaker CPS 2500 & 3000, American Online, and the Tootsie Candy Quiz (I passed!)

Let us take you back to last week's Nitro, where Chris Jericho gives an interview - Tony now calls Jericho "the most bizarre man in our sport." Jericho runs down Guerrera and interviews a portrait of Dean Malenko.

CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO (with portrait of Dean Malenko) comes out - Jericho has ring announcer David Penzer hold the portrait this week instead of a tripod. Not only is this funny, but it gets Penzer some valuable camera time he sorely needs. Jericho rolls an archived video clip from a Dean Malenko interview, where he talks about his father. "You know what? When I think about how you've dedicated your career to your late father, one thing pops into my head - he must be rolling in his grave!" Jericho runs down Malenko, Malenko's family, and then, and here's the shocker, calls Malenko "boring." Jericho goes on to dedicate his OWN career to - "Bore-us Malenko" and brings out - well, I don't know WHO it is, but HIS Dean Malenko impersonation is even better than Jericho's! Jericho tells us, he has one more hold than Dean, so he is "the man of one hold."

CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO v. BORE-US MALENKO. The ersatz Malenko has "(1)" on his tights. Jericho goes on to beat this guy, stopping to entertain us by pulling Malenko on top of himself, then kicking out at 2 and acting surprised. Anyway, after about two minutes, there's a spinebuster (Tony calls it a "sidewalk slam") and then a Liontamer is put on and we have a bell. This wasn't bad, but I hope they don't do it EVERY week.

Don't miss WCW when it comes to Springfield, Des Moines, Wichita, and Topeka!

Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls! Well, four of them. And then, Alex Wright! And security! Man, that is an UGLY red shirt/yellow pants combo he's wearing.

Let us take you back to last week, where You Know Who runs down Kevin Nash, Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth, and intimates that Bret Hart is with him.

HUGH MORRUS & BARBARIAN (with James Hart, table and plastic garbage can) v. PUBLIC ENEMY (with table, garbage can and garbage bag full of toys) in a return street fight - Well, we have a vacuum attachment, a garbage lid, a crotchshot - Barbarian putting Rocco Rock in a trashcan and then dropkicking it, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Even Jimmy Hart gets involved. Barbarian tries to get the first table move on Johnny Grunge, but he moves out of the way and Barbarian elbows through the table. Hugh Morrus press slams Rocco Rock through another table. Hart goes to hit Grunge with a garbage can, but accidentally hits Hugh Morrus instead - whoops, suddenly Hart is alone in the ring with Johnny Grunge! Bodyslam, splash, pin - OF HART! (2:56)

Mean Gene Okerlund brings out Brian Adams, who's still wearing an NWO shirt. "Gene, do me a favour, go out and get a nice warm cup of shut the hell up!" Adams goes on to talk about how Hollywood Hogan made professional wrestling, and he (Adams) is the main enforcer of the NWO. He then goes on to kiss Hogan's ass some more, then promises to beat Konnan later tonight.

While we see clips from their Spring Stampede match, dueling Booker T and Chris Benoit interview clips argue about whether T tapped out or not. We learn that there will be another title match at Slamboree. Does this mean Benoit DIDN'T win the title as has been reported on the Web? Mmm.

This portion of WCW Nitro is brought to you by Burger King!

Bobby Heenan has replaced Larry Zbyzsko at the commentary table.

Let us take you back to last week's Monday Nitro where we see Hart's interview where he says he wants to say it to Hogan. Then, we jump to Tuesday Nitro, where Hart and Hogan have their lovefest, and just when we are about to FINALLY find out what it's all about, Savage interrupts Hart and clobbers him. Hogan, Disciple - and Hart - take it to Savage.

It's hour number two! Fireworks! TV-14!

(perry) SATURN v. (van) HAMMER in a "Loser leaves the Flock" match - Kidman promises that there will be no interference from the Flock - humm. The implication is that Raven probably wants Saturn to win. Hammer gets a cool backslide airplane spin and a lariat for 2. Hammer with a reverse slam. Saturn fires back with a German suplex. Into the corner. Chops from Saturn (woooo!) Big kicks to the body and head from Saturn. Lariat and both men go over the top to the outside. In a split screen, we see the Flock watching from the locker room. Meanwhile, Saturn is coming off the top, but Hammer catches him and slams him. To the corner, Hammer with kicks. Up to the top turnbuckle. Hammer attempts a superplex, and hits it! Saturn is up, though. Punch, Saturn is down. Hammer ready to try a monkey flip but Saturn kicks him away and Hammer's throat hits the top rope. We have a chair in the ring. Saturn does a Sabu-like dropkick off the chair. A second one hits referee "Blind" Scott Dickinson. Hammer grabs the chair, but Saturn dropkicks the chair onto Hammer's face. Now there's a vendor in the ring! Saturn is leveled with a drink tray - now Hammer is hit, but he lands on Saturn - Dickinson is up - 1, 2, 3! (4:16) Well, that's interesting - *Hammer* wins. We cut to the locker room, where Raven gets up to come to the ring, but he's met by - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE, a bullrope, and a stop sign. DDP takes out the flock with the stop sign and ties up Raven with the bullrope. They brawl to the outside, then to the ring. I guess we have a bonus match here. When DDP whips Raven over the ropes, hanging him, security finally comes out and we take a break.

Be like Raven - buy the shirt!

Wait a minute - Saturn's out of the flock?

Hey look, it's the Nitro girls! We learn that THUNDER! will not be on this week, but WILL be on next week.

SICK BOY v. JUVENTUD GUERRERA - we see a clip from last week's Nitro of Reese choking Guerrera. This will supposedly be a better matchup, sayeth the commentators. Of course, Sick Boy starts right out taking it to Guerrera. Even when Juvi makes Sick Boy miss, Sick Boy gets right back on him. Fireman's carry but Guerrera kicks out at 2. Take a drink every time somebody says "never surrender." Sick Boy dropkicks out of a slam attempt an FINALLY takes control. Spinning heel kick and an elbow drop for 2. Big chop (wooo!), again. Muffed spot, I think Juvi wanted a DDT - commentators blame it on the vendor refuse making the ring slippery. Several misses by both men. Guerrera with a springboard dropkick. Vicious looking Juvidriver, but before we get the 450, Horace comes in and knocks Guerrera off the ringpost. (DQ 2:41) Horace and Sick Boy take shots at Juvi until he ducks and Sick Boy hits Horace. Horace goes out, and while Guerrera takes care of Sick Boy, Reese comes in and grabs Guerrera again. Cue - GOLDBERG? Yup, spear for Sick Boy and a Jackhammer (wow!) for Reese. Goldberg goes for a pin, but remembers this isn't a match and makes the funny face for the crowd. The Snickers replay is Goldberg's run-in, which must thrill Juventud Guerrera. Still, a Goldberg run-in is a lot more entertaining than a Goldberg match...

Mean Gene narrates the Starburst Fruit Chews pin on a map Road Report. Nitro comes to Kansas City, Mo!

Mean Gene Okerlund interviews RICK STEINER. "Everybody knows the situation between my brother and I. Tonight I want my brother to come out here tonight, and tell me to my face if we're gonna get back together or if one of us is going to be left laying!" Rick goes on for a while longer, actually, but the upshot is he wants to finish this thing. Sure enough, Scott Steiner comes out - on crutches. "Don't you think I know what you're trying to pull? Why can't you face me like a man?" "Ricky, I think that maybe I made a mistake, you know, this thing is uh, I mean your friends are my friends, Mom and Dad don't talk to me the same, my sister's kids don't talk to me the same...Marcus Bagwell was a friend of mine...he may never wrestle again...well I don't want that to come between us, there ain't no reason for us to fight..." Anybody buying this? Rick still wants to finish it, demanding that they either fight now or walk out together. "You know Hulk Hogan don't mean nothin' to me, NWO don't mean nothin' to me, it's that you're my brother I just wanna (something) best tag team there ever was. I wanna be a Steiner brother again." Scott is actually tearing up. Rick says he can't trust him but Gene talks him into it. "Scotty, you wanna make this work, I'll give you another chance, but if you stab me in the back, I'm gonna hunt you down until you die." The Steiner brothers embrace...and there you go. Out comes Brian Adams with a baseball bat, a shoulder breaker, and several more shots with the bat to the shoulder. Why, Scott wasn't hurt at all! Let's go to an ad break!

BRIAN ADAMS v. KONNAN - I was kinda hoping the wolfpac would come up with some new music, but both men come out to the same theme. Tony seems to finally figure out that Adams isn't in the Wolfpac, and for an encore turns right around and pegs Steiner as in the Hogan camp. Konnan starts out with the advantage. Clubberin, lariats, slam, dropkick while seated, badmouth, more pounding. Konnan finally puts his head down and receives a piledriver. Big legdrop from Adams. Konnan is thrown outside ... and BRET HART comes out to pound on Konnan? Thrown back in, and Hart leaves. Adams with the big press slam. Backbreaker. As Adams hits a big powerslam, Kevin Nash has come in to kick Adams in the head (DQ 2:45) and a Jackknife isn't far behind. (Hey I thought that was illegal, fineable, and jailable!) Konnan and Nash embrace as we head out.

Promotional consideration paid for by David sunflower seeds, Motel 6 (map borrowed from Starburst On the Road report), Simonize car care, and NEW Hot Pockets with crispycrustytenderflaky crust (Umm, crust is ALWAYS crusty).

Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls! Well, three of 'em anyway.

It's a Nitro party from the House of GOD! Your Bible verse of the week is "O dry bones hear the word of the Lord." Umm, I don't think they had pro graps in mind when they came up with that one... Do ALL Baptists get together to watch Nitro?

FIT FINLEY v. AD BREAK

Slamboree will change wrestling history forever! Sunday 17 May LIVE on Pay Per View!

BOOKER T. v. FIT FINLEY for the WCW World Television Title - You know, only people on the 'Net are aware that the TV title has changed hands on FOUR separate occasions last week, because *the commentators don't feel the need to let us know about this*. Call me crazy, but that is the kind of information I would like to have imparted to me. Instead, we are hearing about Booker T. giving Chris Benoit (who, oh, by the way, is a two time former television champion) another shot at Slamboree. I don't like Finley's odds tonoight. Lockup, to the corner, switch, clean break, no. Finley with a gut shot. Another punch from Finley. Snapmare and a big kick to the back. Cover for 1. Finley with a submission hold to the leg. Bokker T is back up - to the ropes - Booker T with headbutts to the gut. Whip and a BIG heel kick by T. Punch to eht head, whip, reverse, Booker T pulls up and when Finley comes at him, Booker T takes him to the outside. Axehandle to the floor by Booker T. It's all Booker T as they brawl on the outside. Thrown back in, Finley with a lariat to regain the advantage. Big stomp by the Belfast Bruiser. Whip, duck, forearm by Booker T. Kneelift, forearm shot, but Finley counters with a thumb to th eyes. Finley with a forearm. Finley goes for a slam, but Booker T slips out of the attempt and hits the axe kick. The big spinebuster ("sidewalk slam" Tony?) but no breakdancing. Hey, there's Chris Benoit! Maybe he's come to remind us of his title reigns. Booker T pancakes Finley and NOW he's breakdancing. Wait, he saw Benoit. Distracted, he eats a kick and a forearm from Finley. Finley with a tombstone. 1, 2, DAMN! 3!!!!!!!!!!! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Television champion! I shout very loudly! YES! Dave "Fit" Finley is this year's Prince Iaukea! (3:57) I apologise for every bad thing I said about this match being predictable. Well, most of them anyway. Hope he can keep it through Saturday night.

This portion of Nitro comes to you thanks to the Juice that's loose in Starburst fruit chews.

The NWO Outsiders T-shirt - it's black and red, and you can buy it.

Michael Buffer is on hand to get us ready to - well, a court order prevents me from typing it here, but you've probably heard it before anyway.

KEVIN NASH (with Randy Savage & Konnan) v. THE NARCISSIST (with nobody) - apparently, we've all forgotten that the Jackknife is illegal, so I guess I will too (after tonight). I'm tired of Buffer saying "the torture Rack of Doom," too, dammit. Luger ducks a clothesline and goes to the big punches and big kicks. Big head to the turnbuckle. Big ten punch count along. Luger keeps checking Konnan and Savage. Sure enough Konnan gets up on the apron, Luger lunges at him, Konnan jumps down, and when Luger turns around he eats a boot and Nash has the advantage. Lots of punches by Nash. The pace is, shall we say, literal. Konnan chokes Luger on the second rope for good measure. Then Nash does the Bossman straddle on Luger. Nash with the foot on the neck in the corner. "Wolfpac" chant is fairly loud. Whip into the corner, Nash follows with a clothesline. Another whip into the other corner, but Luger puts up a big foot. Big clothesline, big clothesline, in comes Savage who gets a big punch, Konnan meets the same fate. Luger tries to grab Savage again but Nash comes in from behind. Sure enough, Nash is joined by his fellow Wolfpac members and we have a nice disqualification ending (2:44). Luger is demolished. Before we get the coup de grace jackknife, (This is) Sting has run to the ring, followed soon thereafter by Giant. Now we're all paired up. Out comes...Brian Adams? He gets stopped by Bret Hart (oh yeah, he's wearing an Edmonton jersey this week), who tries to explain to Adams that there's no one in there he wants to save. Adams smiles, so does Hart, and we fade out.

So let's take stock. Hart wore a Hogan T shirt last week, but no one mentions it, last week OR this week. Hart is apparently friends with Brian Adams - or is he? Adams is apparently friends with Hollywood Hogan - right? Hennig is a new Wolfpac member, but where was he at the end of the match? And where was his Siamese twin, Rick Rude, this whole time? Hey, where was Vincent this week? Is he still NWO or did the WCW'ers get to him last week? And finally, do you think ANY of these questions will get answered before my beard turns grey?

Next week, we go back to a three hour Nitro. See you...then?