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/10 August 1998

WCW Nitro




LIVE from the Rexmoore (?) Plaza Civic Centre in Rapid City, South Dakota, 10.8.98, it's Monday Nitro! It's rated TV-PG-DV and Tony doesn't last a minute before he misidentifies the city of origin as "Sioux City - err, Rapid City, Iowa!"

Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls! sans Kimberly - apparently Diamond Dallas Page won't be around tonight, so neither will Kim.

Did I mention your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and theLivingLegend Larry "please cheer, I'm dying to get up out of my seat" Zbyszko, wearing a damn ugly jacket. Tony announces that the Treacherous Three CANNOT discuss last night's superspectacular tag team main event, but somebody will be out to do that later in the show (stay tuned!) and a double main event tonight will have Goldberg defending his World Heavyweight Championship against #1 Contender Meng (that's right) and an NWO affair with Giant and Hall defending against Nash and Sting.

BARBARIAN (with James Hart) v. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN (with his 2x4 and his American flag) - did you know that on the WCW Theme Music CD, the Faces of Fear theme actually DOES segue into "Stars & Stripes Forever?" If this match seems familiar, it's probably because you read THIS match description two weeks ago:

BARBARIAN (with James Hart) v. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN (with 2x4 and American flag) - wow, a MATCH! And only twenty minutes into the show! A match that could probably be a main event anywhere in the country. After the obligatory Jimmy Hart interference gone awry, Duggan gets the win with a rollup - and the fans are cheated out of the extremely lame Duggan kneedrop (2:40). HUGH MORRUS puts in an appearance to even the score, but before we can get anywhere with *that*, out comes MENG, who applies ye olde Tongane deathe gripe. When Barbarian tries to hit Meng from behind to break that hold, Duggan takes his 2x4 and whacks Barbarian. Now Duggan's offering a handshake and a trip to the Iron Shiek's house for some refreshments. Now Meng's politely declining with ANOTHER Tongan neck pinch. Who will save Duggan? Apparently no one...

What was different this time? Well, the show is only five minutes old this time, so that's a plus. This match has some better Jimmy Hart cheap shots (like they actually WORK this time). This match has a funny Duggan headbutt that actually hurts DUGGAN instead of the Barbarian. This match has Schiavone misidentifying referee "Blind" Scott Dickinson as referee "Blind" Mickey Jay. This match also has a brand new ring with a *massive* "WCW Monday Nitro" logo on it. This match has the ten punch count along to thrill the fans. This match goes on forever, at least compared to the last one. Duggan wins with a schoolboy (3:43), which means we're spared the Old Glory kneedrop o' doom. And of course, we are greeted with post-match appearances by HUGH MORRUS and MENG - you can probably figure out who does what. As an added bonus, ubersecurity chief DOUG DELLINGER gets a Tongan death grip. Then Duggan. Then two more unnamed security guys. So now Meng's taken out, what, six men - you know, I STILL don't think he has a snowball's chance in hell of winning the Heavyweight title from Goldberg tonight. All in all, I NEVER WANT TO SEE THIS MATCH AGAIN. And I bet they give us ANOTHER Duggan/Meng match on THUNDER!

Let Us Take You Back to last week's Nitro, where Luger is down and Sting is walking away. Let Us Take You Back to THUNDER! where Luger tells us that Scott Hall contributed to his beatdown and he wants a match. Take a drink when he says "in the house." Sting & Konnan join Luger to end this "why'd they show that?" clip without mentioning that there was a six-man tag to close out THUNDER! last week, but I can't for the life of me remember who was in it, or who won. Eh.

I guess they showed that clip so MEAN GENE OKERLUND can bring out THE TOTAL WOLFPACKAGE for an interview. Luger says that he found out who the OTHER guy was who punked him, and it was Bret Hart. He lays down the "I'm not leaving this building" challenge, and out comes BRET HART. What everyone seems to have forgotten is that these two are supposed to fight in this week's THUNDER! main event for the US Title, in a rare display of WCW announcing a match a week ahead of time. "First of all, you are a damn liar - I was nowhere around last week when you got your butt kicked. You know, to me I think it just sounds a lot better that two guys did it, you know you should change your stories to four guys did it, six guys did it, but you and I know you got your butt kicked by one of the vendors back there, becuase you're not GOOD enough to be the United States Champion! You think you can just walk up and challenge me, why don't you [Gene] challenge me?" Funny line. Hart goes on to pronounce Luger jealous - of his championship, of his buddy-buddyness with Hogan, of Sting being "like a brother to me" - Gene is experiencing sinus pains now - Luger says he isn't jealous, nah nah. "Either you put the belt up tonight, or I can knock your teeth down your throat right now." "You want a title match? You got a title match." Gene's so excited I can't believe he's daring to wear light coloured pants.

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, Motel 6 7/8, America (ha!) Online, and Hot Pockets. Hey baby, wanna check out my hot pockets? Also David sunflower seeds. Damn that's a lot of promotional consideration.

Let Us Take You Back to still photos from Road Wild. One of the things they CAN show you is the "match" between Chavo Guerrero, Jr and Stevie Ray. Stevie won, and whether you like it or not, that was the right call. Unbelievably, Eddie Guerrero came out to make the save when Stevie continued to give it to him like a man.

TOKYO MAGNUM (with Disco Inferno & Alex Wright) v. EDDIE GUERRERO - Tokyo's feeling a little despondent as he walks to the ring - he's not even dancing. Wright and Inferno give a verbal thrashing to Magnum (Disco: "Hey, speak to him in English so he can understand it!") - essentially, he's screwed up one time too many and he's on his own now. They leave the ring before Eddie enters. Tokyo gets a few shots in at the start but it's basically a Guerrero squash - tiltawhirl backbreaker, snap suplex, frogsplash, pin. (1:15) Replay shows those three moves - well what else are you gonna show? Ha! Eddie points to the camera and says "I'm back!" and I'm happy about that.

Lee Marshall narrates the Starburst Pin on a Map Road Report. The Fargodome hosts THUNDER! Thursday and you will give it some juice!

Fall Brawl WarGames ad. It's Sunday, 13 September!

Let Us Take you back to more stills from Road Wild. In the "three man triangle match," Saturn pinned Raven after a Spicolli Driver (Kanyon was outside the ring recovering from some innovation).

(perry) SATURN v. (khris) KANYON in a "Winner gets their first name back" match - Saturn brings kicks and punches to the table, while Kanyon brings innovation. I might care about this match but I feel like I've seen it about a DOZEN times this year. Kanyon pulls out a Rocker dropper from the top rope. Kanyon does another move no one has a name for. Kanyon with a flapjack. Crowd goes mild! 1, 2, no. Kanyon seems too worried about getting the fans pumped (and it isn't working) and Saturn gets a small package for 2. Kanyon with a whip and a sleeper - Saturn drives him into the corner. Kanyon reapplies. Whip, SATURN applies the sleeper. Kanyon picks him up, Saturn falls on him for 2. Back to the sleeper for Kanyon. Somebody needs to send Piper a royalty cheque. Arm falls once, arm falls twice, no. Jawbreaker by Saturn. Hot shot by Saturn followed by a throw/suplex. 1, 2, no. Side Russian leg sweep by Kanyon (damn, that's innovative!) Both men slow in getting up. Saturn with a swing and a miss and Kanyon's put him on the top turnbuckle. Diamond Cutter! (Oh, you can't call it that.) 1, 2, no - somehow Saturn kicks out. Kanyon to the top - no he's looking at the fans again, so Saturn gets up and crotches him. Saturn to the top - battling for position (or is Kanyon just slipping) and Saturn hits a superplex - here's LODI to provide the angle development. RAVEN is in - Evenflow DDT on Saturn! Kanyon rolls over - 1, 2, 3. (call it 6:15)

We quickly cut backstage to see MENG with a double Tongan Death Grip on two more Security staffers. Hey, guess what, I STILL don't think he'll win the title from Goldberg!

NWO Wolfpack shirt ad features even Randy Savage!

Hey, look, it's the Nitro Girls! We are reminded that Kimberly isn't here because Diamond Dallas Page isn't here. Tony (YEAH!) correctly gets the Mug root beer slogan. A grand prize winner is announced in the Nitro Party Tape contest - the students at Wapakaneta (I'm sure I'm spelling that wrong) High in W, Ohio. Ever notice how really LARGE groups of people win these contests? I wonder if school is even in on the 31st... I like that "Nitro Girls 3:16" sign - reminds me of a wrestler who isn't in WCW.

SICK BOY (with Lodi) v. STEVE "MONGO" McMICHAEL - Lodi provides distraction and Sick Boy gets the first few moves in. Sick Boy can't do a move unless a springboard is involved, by the way. But of course, McMichael has the fire burning inside him (and YOU thought it was a beer belly) and with the passion of the group that always knew what THE Symbol of Excellence was, tombstones Sick Boy for the pin. (no opening bell, oh let's call it 3:07)

Buy a Big Sexy T-shirt!

It's 56 after and RAW is about to start, so it's time for the SECOND TV-PG-DV HOUR! Tony promises five title matches (assuming Stevie Ray is the TV Champ) tonight, so please, for the love of God, PLEASE don't change channels in the next four minutes!

YOU KNOW WHO comes out with a plate of Voodoo Chili. THIS is how they keep people from changing the channel? Why not just bring back "NWO Nightcap" for cryin' out loud? Hogan is accompanied by CRACKA EAZY-E and BOOTY DISCIPLE as Tony reminds his colleagues that they can't talk about Leno and Page beating Hogan and Bischoff - oops, I've said too much. Here's an interesting exchange:

Zbyszko: Let's see how they try to cry their way out of this one.
Schiavone: Can't say anything about it, okay?
Zbyszko: I didn't say anything that happened - I'm just wondering how they're going to cry out of this one.
Schiavone: You can't say - Larry! There's going to be some - a gag order again, okay? And it's going to be directed at ME this time!
Zbyszko: I don't think we're that lucky.

Meanwhile the camera's found a "Leno 1-0: Who's next" sign so anybody who DIDN'T know who won should have figured it out by now.

Bischoff says "warms the cockles of my heart." Hogan of course is ignoring Saturday's match, choosing instead to put the bad mouth on Goldberg. He wants his title shot, and so on. Bischoff says that since Meng has decimated security, NWO Hollywood will provide the security for tonight's Goldberg/Meng heavyweight title match. Oh good - I was WORRIED that somehow we'd get through a main event without NWO involvement. I guess I have to dust off this little gem - I CAN ALMOST *SMELL* THE SCREWJOB!

The Treacherous Three are ALSO smelling something. Then Tony hypes upcoming action. If they'd stop yammering, we could HAVE some of that upcoming action...finally somebody talks in Tony's ear and now the *Wolfpack* will also be out for tonight's title match. Tenay gets really weird on me and I now WELCOME an ad break.

STEVIE RAY v. CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. (without Pepe) - Stevie's graphic says "WCW World Television Champion." CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO appears with Pepe in hand and Chavo goes back to meet him. Next thing we know, there's the sounds of a scuffle, and Jericho comes out with a broken stick horse. "Listen here, Stevie Ray - since Chavo's busy in the back with Pepe, you seem to be looking for somebody to challenge you for this belt - well let me tell you this, you're not the only guy from the streets, BROTHA - I grew up on the mean streets of Calgary, Alberta, Canada! I am one BAD mammajamma!" Jericho offers to take him on. "Hey sucka! I didn't come all the way to Rapid City to hear somebody run their mouth. So if you wanna shot at this, sucka let's get it on!" Is Stevie a face now?

STEVIE RAY v. CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO for the WCW World Television title - Lockup, Jericho shoved away with authority. Lockup, Stevie with some shots. Jericho up, Jericho down. To the ropes, Stevie with chops. Whip, Jericho shoots under and dropkicks the knees. Kick to the back of the knee. Chop, chop, whip, reversal, Stevie with a crucifix - no, Jericho rolls through for 2. Jericho runs into a big boot. Stevie Ray hits a front suplex that turns into a drop on the ropes. Jericho ducks a running Stevie Ray and he goes outside. Jericho with a top-rope-to-the-floor dive the doesn't hit all the way. Both men slow to get up and back in. Jericho to the top - Stevie Ray catches him in a powerslam. MASSIVE back body drop from Stevie Ray. Coming up, a WCW official talks about the Road Wild main event - hey, there's a MATCH going on. Jericho comes back - dropkick in the corner. Repeated rights - whoa, Jericho's trick knee acts up and referee Mark "Shooter" Curtis gets a Golotta. Big lariat from Stevie Ray - here's GIANT for no good reason. Headbutt for Stevie Ray as he's setting up Jericho for the Slapjack. Chokeslam! Jericho's waking up Curtis (all that groin pain makes you pass out, see) - Liontamer is academic and Curtis calls for the bell (4:54) and apparently, ladies and gentlemen, we have a new TV Champion. Replay shows the great Mark Curtis writhing in pain. So why did the Giant help out Jericho? And where exactly does Booker T. fit into ANY of this? Tune in next week, 'cause you probably won't hear any more about it tonight!

WCW hits Sioux Falls, Fargo for THUNDER!, Providence, and Hartford for Nitro. I forget, is that Ultimate Warrior guy supposed to show up in Hartford?

RAW is WAR ad inserted locally by my cable company. San Jose - 14 September! Hey, that's the night after FALL BRAWL!

Bobby Heenan is out and Eric Bischoff's music ("NWO Nitro") is playing. And there's E himself, along with LIZ. I hope this means we get another interview! Yeah! Apparently, it's BISCHOFF who is the "WCW Official" to break the gag order regarding the Road Wild main event. Selected still shots paint a one-sided picture - and, go figure - it's Bischoff and Hogan's side. Bischoff tells us to NOT watch the Tonight Show, because if he shows any footage, it'll be doctored. Schiavone promises that we'll get to the bottom of this later in the show (stay tuned! PLEASE!)

LIZMARK, JR. v. PSYCHOSIS v. REY MYSTERIO, JR. in a Triple Threat Match - Remember when they called these things "triangle matches?" Typical "two men fight while one man recovers from his beatings" start. Nice spot has Psychosis with a missile dropkick on Rey as he sentonbombs Lizmark. Psychosis whips Rey into Lizmark, who backbodydrops him over the top rope. Lizmark and Psychosis, left alone in the ring, have a back-and-forth, lucha style. Psychosis is clotheslined out. Lizmark with the tope suicida. Rey with the somersault onto Lizmark. Everybody back in now. Did Psychosis shout out "Go Rey Go" to get a spot started? Both guys cover Psychosis and he STILL kicks out. Lizmark with a hot shot on Psychosis. Rey with a lightning leg drop and a cover - 1, 2, Lizmark makes the save and tries to cover - 1, 2, no. Lizmark and Rey argue but there's a handshake. Lizmark holds Psychosis for a top rope Rey dropkick, but Psychosis rolls through - Rey misses - and gets a 2 count on Lizmark. Lizmark with a bodyslam and Rey makes the save. Now Rey and Lizmark are fighting. Lizmark misses a splash and Rey hits a spinning heel kick. Split-legged moonsault for 2, Psychosis makes the save. Whip into the corner, follow lariat. Another whip but Rey puts the boots up. Armbar into a slam. Now Lizmark is up, but eats a pair of boots on the way down. Psychosis monkeyflips Rey - into Lizmark for a huracanrana! 1, 2, 3! (7:04) Apparently, Rey also landed on his knee with that last move. The MasterLock Lock of the Night is our set of replays.

Closed Captioning where available sponsored by the Money Store - where baseball players give out mortgages.

Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls! And Kimberly isn't here! Tony again correctly calls out the Mug tagline - he's 2 for 2 and deserves a gold star. Nitro Party address - oops, Tony says "send the Nitro Party tapes to you - to us" and then correctly delivers on the Mug slogan one more time. I've just noticed every time Tony says that Bobby goes "Huh?" which seems funny to me for some reason.

THE NARCISSIST v. BRET HART for the WCW United States Heavyweight Title - Hart comes out to the NWO Hollywood music this week (which, *incidentally*, includes Nash saying "Sweeeeeeeeeet," not that I'm anal about continuity or anything) Hart makes a big show out of kissing the belt before forking it over. Pec flex! "Feeling out process" means nobody's moving. Luger poses to the crowd with some hand symbols. Lockup (finally!) and Luger with a big shove - Hart out of the ring, then Luger does that big "lion roaring" pose. Hart's back in. The pace of this match is suited to a wrestler of Luger's repetoire. Test of strength? Yeah. For a change, they actually DO the test of strength - and Hart's losing. Hart to his knees. He manages to break one knuckle lock and step over the other one and pound away. Luger's looking for an escape and isn't finding one. Big back elbow - big lariat! Hart leaves the ring and grabs his belt as if to leave. Referee "Blind" Charles Robinson puts on the count - Luger leaves the ring. Hart turns around and eats a big punch. Back to the ring! Luger with that big "lion roaring" pose again. Hart begs off. Big kick to the gut. Big whip, big hiptoss, big armdrag into the big armbar. That's more moves from Luger than I've seen in a MONTH! Luger yanks on the arm. It's weird to have the ersatz face be so in control. Hart stands up and pushes Luger's face to the corner. Right after the break, Hart goes to the eyes and delivers a MANLY beatdown. Time for an ad break.

The WCW Power Plant is the Electric Company of Wrestling!

They're on the outside when we come back. Hart with a bodyslam on the concrete! Robinson is outside the ring when he should be counting both men out. Hart returns to the ring and cups his ear to the crowd to amplify the boos. Something was muted out/censored here (at least on the West Coast - I think it was a fan's "fuckyou"). Hart goes out and brings back Luger. Into the corner and Hart is delivering rights with impudence. Hart with a choke. Luger suddenly comes alive with big punches, big kicks, big knees - and Hart hits a Golotta kick to stop that offense. Hart with the stomp to the gut and now we're in Hart mode. Here's the backbreaker for 2. Hart with a headbutt and a forearm drop. The popular side Russian leg sweep. A standing legdrop. Headbutt to the lower abs, between the legs (Is Hart GAY or something? Hahaha) Hart's pretty much picking him apart. DDT! 1, 2, no! I think Hart needs to hit that elbow from the second rope and then maybe the Sharpshooter. But no, he returns to kicking and pounding. Hart is censored when he calls Luger a "piece of " To the corner, Hart's boot meets Luger's neck. Only Bret Hart can make such a long Luger match interesting, I have to say. Hart with another stomp. Crowd chants "Luger." Snap suplex by Hart for 2. Tenay senses some frustration in Hart's inability to put Luger away. Hart with headbutts to the back. Now a punch to the back. Hard Irish whip into the opposite corner and Luger goes down. Another backbreaker by Hart - he's recycling moves now. Now he's up to the second rope for the - whoops, met Luger's big boot. Man, it's gonna SUCK if Luger manages to pull a win out of this. Hart swings and misses. Luger with the big atomic drop. And now a big reverse atomic drop. Big clothesline. Big clothesline. Big Ace toolbow forearm shiver. Luger TRIES FOR A PIN! 1, 2, no! Even Tony doesn't know how to call a Luger pinfall attempt. Big sleeper by Luger! Hart backs up and unfortunately Robinson gets sandwiched. Hart's brought out his international object - but Luger has Hart in the big Torture Rack! Hart SUBMITS! Ladies and gentlemen - shit - we have a new U.S. Champion. (16:29) KONNAN, KEVIN NASH, and (THIS IS) STING come out to celebrate as the third hour FIREWORKS! go off.

Well, I hope there's a rematch on Thursday and that Hart gets the title back. Probably won't happen, but I can dream...on another tack, may I say that there's probably no way anything else happening tonight TOUCHES that last match - that's your match of the week right there.

NWO Wolfpack T-shirt ad - buy the shirt!

Let Us Take You Back to stills from Road Wild - Juventud Guerrera won the Cruiserweight title thanks to a little help from special guest referee Dean Malenko - fortunately for us, WCW did the right thing by not giving us yet another loophole angle and instead giving Jericho the TV title. Oh oh, if I keep complimenting WCW you might not think I'm BIASED any more!

JUVENTUD GUERRERA v. (billy) KIDMAN (no entrance) for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship - see Barbarian/Duggan. Okay, it wasn't as bad as Duggan/Barbarian (how could it be), but still, the point is I've seen this match four times and I can't get worked up about it anymore. The first time I saw this, it was outstanding and easily the match of the week, but they've gotten progressively less and less exciting since. This match is decent, yet even more squashlike than previous matches, probably because Juvi is the champ. Juvi gets the pin after yet another botched firebird splash. (3:44)

The Awesome 3 talk about Luger and Hart - the match scheduled for THUNDER! will still take place and this time it's a return bout. Hey, maybe my wish will come true after all! Of course, it's equally likely that NWO Hollywood could run in to cause a screwjob ending. We move to stills from that most talked about tag team main event in the history of...Tony misidentifies Hogan as "Lex Luger." Did I mention that Kevin Eubanks' Diamond Cutter looked damn good? Can I balance it by saying Leno had no business in that ring? Can we all agree on that? OK.

RAVEN (with the Flock) is out. "Once again, the Flock has let me down. Two nights ago at Road Wild, Riggs, you, Kidman and Sick Boy didn't even show up and for that ya gotta be punished-" Evenflow for Riggs. "Lodi, as usual," shove "you were worthless. For you, Horace, you cost" slap "me the match." slap "You hit me with a stop sign, and for that, a lesson must be learned." The third slap is stopped by Horace. Raven yanks his hand back - then waffles Horace. The bell rings - I guess this is a match?

RAVEN (with the Flock) v. HORACE (with STOP sign) - It's all Raven - high points in the first minute include Raven munching on Horace's skull, and, outside the ring, Raven with a side Russian legsweep into the barricade. Horace is thrown back in, but he's got the sign - and Raven takes a shot. Horace with the dive through the ropes. Both men back in, Horace sets up the sign in the corner. Whip into the sign which Raven sells like there's no tomorrow. Horace slams Raven on the sign. To the top rope, but he misses. Raven motions to Lodi, who struggles with his conscience and then hands Raven the chair anyway. Raven's World Famous drop toehold on the chair. The crowd rises, which probably means that - no, actually it's KANYON this time. Of course, with all four flockers turned to the entrance way, that means that SATURN *can* appear from behind. Spicolli driver on the stop sign and Saturn throws Horace on top, and then he's out - referee "Blind" Billy Silverman turns around and sees Horace with the cover - 1, 2, 3. (3:56) So are Kanyon and Saturn friends again? And can't they find anybody BETTER to feud with?

Interestingly enough, a THUNDER! ad in this block of commercials hypes Bret Hart defending the US Title against Lex Luger, which shows you that they only booked this title change tonight.

Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls! but not Kimberly. Why ISN'T DDP here anyway? Shouldn't be giving an interview or something?

CURTRICK HENNIGRUDE (without Rick Rude) v. KONNAN - Before the match, I hope that Konnan speak on dis! Did you know we had this EXACT same matchup last week? I'd forgotten too, but that's why I keep archives. THIS week's screwjob non-ending is Hennig wrapping Konnan's necklace around his fist, referee "Suddenly not Blind" Billy Silverman preventing Hennig from throwing the punch, Hennig losing the necklace, Konnan picking up the necklace and then choking Hennig with it to get DQ'd. To K-Dawg's credit, when Hennig did the exact same choke LAST week, he didn't get caught., I got nothing here. Hennig's won two weeks in a row. (3:32)

SCOTT HALL & NO-SMOKIN' GIANT v. KEVIN NASH & (THIS IS) STING for the WCW World Tag Team Championship - *this* match most recently appeared THREE weeks ago, where the NWO Hollywood contingent won the belts from those Wolfpackers. The hits just keep on coming. Hall does a survey. We are fortunate to have an ad break before the challengers enter - hey, why DID the Champs come out first?

This portion of Nitro brought to you by Skittles! They're the S! No, wait, they're not.

Oh God, the commentators are trying to dredge up that "when Sting becomes the old, angry Sting" crap again - just let it go, guys, just forget it ever happened, don't try to explain it, don't bring it up, it's stupid and lame and - ah, why do I bother. Nash says "Wolfpack in tha house." Funny moment has Giant holding the tag belt just out of reach of referee "Blind" Scott Dickinson. Hall and Nash start out and Nash hits the big blows. Hall staggers into the wrong corner and Sting rings his bell. Nash tries the "Truckstop powerbomb" (that's what calls it - what planet are they from?) but Hall squirts out and rolls out of the ring. Back in, and Hall gets a few in, but paintbrushes him and makes Nash mad enough to throw a big lariat. Tag to the Giant. Heenan recalls that powerbomb of the Giant and Tony remarks "they outlawed that powerbomb for many months." Does that past tense mean they've FINALLY retroactively ended THAT storyline? Anyway, Nash isn't faring too badly with the Giant, so Giant tags in Hall again. Nash better tag in Sting so the Champs can have their heat segment (ha!). Nash is dominating both men - whoops, Golotta by Hall and Dickinson missed it. So did the camera. Giant is in and continuing the damage. Somebody once made fun of WCW on the newsgroup by stating that the acronym *really* stood for "World Crotchshot Wrestling." Nash makes the comback with a big boot to the Giant. With both men down, it might be time to see Sting in this match for the first time. Tag to Hall, hot tag to Sting. Yes, Sting is a house afire. Faceslam for Hall. Lariat. Stinger splash! Another Stinger splash! Third Stinger splash! Time for the Sharpshooter! I wonder if Bret Hart will appear...hey, Giant is in and he's got the ref! "DQ us! DQ us!" Dickinson calls for the bell (DQ 5:19) and Giant chokeslams him anyway. Damn, those Champions are SMART. Hey, how's it feel, Nash? You did that to the Steiners for a friggin' YEAR! Oh sorry, marked out for a minute. Ha!

Big Sexy T-shirt buy it ad!

It's 10:53 - just enough time for a minute long Goldberg match, wot? MICHAEL BUFFER is out, here's NWO HOLLYWOOD (well, Hogan, Hall and Giant anyway) - Giant says "It's gonna be fair right down the middle, doggone it!" You tell 'em, Giant. The NWO WOLFPACK contingent follows thereafter, and since it has to be three and three, Konnan becomes conspicuous by his absence. Buffer does his spiel and once again, does not get hit by any flying objects, much to my dismay. Not that I would wish harm on ANYBODY, mind you - I'm not really like that at all. In fact, let me make an offer to WCW. I'll do what Buffer's doing, for HALF of what you're paying him. What a bargain! I've got the lung power, I can do it! Take me, WCW! Make me your love slave! It's fun hearing Buffer say "MMMMMMMMMENNNNNG!" Whoops, Konnan IS out there now. Meng manages to make it to ringside before the Faces of Fear theme segues into Hacksaw Jim Duggan's. Hey, at Road Wild, didn't one of Barbarian and Meng have a different theme? Who's stealing who's theme? And why am I so preoccupied with wrestler's theme music anyway? Because I'm anal-retentive about CONTINUITY!

(bill "130-0") GOLDBERG v. #1 CONTENDER MENG for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship - Meng to the face, openhand thrusts, knife-edge chops, all for nought - Goldberg with a - well, a something. And a kick. Meng goes outside and NWO Hollywood urges him on. Hall makes the "Tongan death grip" hand signal. Goldberg with a kneelift. Right. Men with a right, and a chop. Goldberg with a kick, and a takedown/leg scissors. Hold is broken for no reason. Goldberg runs into a big kick and falls out into NWO Hollywood, who promptly triple-team him while referee "Blind" Nick Patrick is busy with Meng. The Wolfpack runs over and brawls with the black'n'white and Goldberg comes back in the ring - to the Tongan Death Grip! His shoulders are down! Patrick's not counting! Meng's an IDIOT and he's released the grip! Now Goldberg's up and there's a spear. Jackhammer. Sigh. 1, 2, 3. (entrance 2:30, match 2:07) Hogan's got a chair and he's stalking outside the ring to get in behind Goldberg. Now he's in. Chairshot! Nash is in and pulls the chair away from Hogan. Of course, Goldberg turns around and sees Nash - whoops, he thinks Nash waffled him. Spear for Nash. Whoops, it's 11:04. Good night everybody!

[slash] wrestling



Copyright (C) 1998, 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications