SIGNS I'VE MADE IT: There is an UGLY, ugly thread about me over on the Other Arena. There are even remarks about my personal appearance! Can you believe THAT? Some people get so *petty* when you rename a venue in their home state. Yeah, I know you're still coming back to read me though, AREN'TCHA. And, upon further reflection, Tennessee BLOWS. The Volunteers SUCK. And Mr. Wrestling II was a LOSER.

I take that last one back, actually - Mr. Wrestling II was pretty cool and he doesn't belong in any of my tirades.

Okay, I'm going to rant in slightly greater detail and yet more in general over in the RAW report, you've either read it already so you know what I'm talking about, or you'll read it later. Yeah.

THIS WEEK'S BAIT: Do you think Another Major Columnist would be working so hard to hype "the column that everyone will be talking about" for about a month if he weren't being affected by ME? Nah, me neither. (Bet THAT gets me some ICQ action.)

Still shots from Souled Out as Tony ACTUALLY SAYS that last night will go down as one of the most "absurd, preposterous, and disgusting events in the history of professional wrestling." Err, I MAY be quoting him out of context. TV-PG-DV Closed Captioned. Basically, the Flair/Flair vs. Windham/Hennig match ended in a NWO run-in and beatdown of David that lasted about 45 minutes after David, the illegal man, got the pin.

Earlier Tonight clip shows Flair and Anderson talking to the other Horsemen, duly assembled in the back. Tonight, Hogan is a dead man. We can only hope he is speaking in literal terms.

We are LIVE 18.1.99 for WCW Monday Nitro from the Unnamed Arena in Columbus, OH. Whoops-

Cut to a limo-cam of the NWO - the words "Wolfpack in the house" are said a few times. As Hogan exits the limo, the Horsemen rush the limo. Flair takes the Tire Arn and smashes a window before they speed off. Hogan: "I got glass in my ass!"

Flair runs to the ring - GENE O. works tonight! And follows THE MAN to the ring. "Meeeeean wooooo by God Gene! Columbus! Ohio! Hear! This! World! Wide! Hogan! Huuuuuuuulk Hogan! Hollywood Hulk Hogan! As the president of World Championship Wrestling, I told you, one week ago, you would not drift off into the sunset, and make a movie, you would not walk the world a free man world doing what you chose to do, that you would work for World Championship Wrestling, and me, and now, my first - my first real shot at running this company is telling you, Hogan, that at SuperBrawl, YOU are gonna wrestle MYASS for the World Title. I'm not challenging Hogan, I'm tellin' him that five weeks - five weeks from LAST night, you sonuvabitch, YOU - YOU - for what you did to my 19-year old son will have to not only beat me, you will have to kill me to keep me from killing you. Woooo! Forget about - forget about being 14 times - I want to be the Man that KILLS Hulk Hogan dead. Hollywood this, pal. Woooo!" Flair goes on a bit about Hogan's kids, then promises that at SuperBrawl, it'll be two men enter, one man leave. Finally, he turns to Eric Bischoff - he knows that "EZE" on his kid's back can only mean he's still pulling the strings behind the scenes with the NWO, and he calls him out. Twice we hear "Get your ass out here right now!" And there's CRACKA EAZY-E, who *swears* he had nothing to do with what happened last night. "Bischoff, tonight, you can do something that wrestling promoters have been trying the world -" unfortunately, there's a chant, but we can't hear it so it must be "asshole" and they've turned it down. Flair says that tonight he and Bischoff are wrestling. Bischoff says he may have to sell popcorn and set up the ring, but his contract doesn't say anything about wrestling. Flair says that if Bischoff can beat him, he'll let Bischoff shave his head. "Ric - Ric - settle down, Ric - there's NO WAY, NO HOW, thank you, but no thank you." And Eric walks away. Flair says, wait a minute - you can shave my head and you can have your company back - "your company" being WCW. Eric stops in his tracks and turns back to face Flair. After confirming that he's saying what he means - DAVID SAMMARTINO - ERR, FLAIR walks out from the back, giving Bischoff a shove on the way to the ring. Doing a mean Ken Shamrock impersonation, David screams that HE'LL take on Bischoff. In the process, he removes his shirt to show some nasty bruises from the night before. Bischoff says oh wait, I'll do THAT - I'll wrestle David tonight, if I win, I get the company back and I shave your head. Ric: "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You got him if he wants it, he's got it, but if he beats you, we shave your head, and your ass." Zbyszko: "Can't we just shave the head?" Schiavone: "No I'd like to see all of it." This just gets better and better, doesn't it?

Opening Credits - or as I like to call them, "Thirteen Minutes After Opening Credits"

This portion of Monday Nitro is brought to you by SNICKERS!

More still shots from last night's Flair/Flair tag match, along with some from the Coal Miner's Taser match. The Encore Presentation is all over the place. For the love of God, don't spend money on this card.

Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls!

We are LIVE from the Campus of OSU at the (I can't spell it) Center in Columbus, OH on the air through the courtesy of Turner Network Television!

Here's some more stills from the Coal Miner's Taser match. The commentators dub this match "a classic ladder match," by which they mean "the sixth of seventh ladder match ever shown on television," I think. Goldberg won the match, by the way, in case you missed it (and had no idea who'd win, har har). After Goldberg's victory, Bam Bam Bigelow came out and made a little noise, then Hall got a hold of the taser and ... well, you know.

CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO (with JPS Ralphus) v. BOOKER T. - Ralphus MUST be sporting some new fake teeth because they seem even more prominent than normal. Last night, Jericho won the dress match due to some Evilness from Now Evil Ref Scott Dickerson. Zbyszko manages to slip in a "20 glorious years" reference while they talk about the dirty ref. I like that "Can you dig it? G.I. BRO?" sign in the audience. Booker T. manages to slip out an "it's on like neckbone" on his way to the ring. After a brief consultation on the outside of the ring, Jericho enters. Tony says that this is the first time Flair's ever put up his hair, but I got an email here from Richard Sullivan which says For the record, Schiavone is once again WRONG! Flair put up his hair for the first (and to my knowledge only) time on April 8, 1978 in Charlotte, when he defeated Tim "Mr. Wrestling" Woods in Charlotte in a title versus hair match to win the U.S. title for the second time. This feeling out process sure has taken a while. Commentators completely miss that this could have been revenge for Jericho taking the TV title from Stevie Ray where Booker T. never lost it. Finally a lockup, Booker T. with an armdrag, Jericho pops up and eats a clothesline, so he's quick to argue with referee "Blind" Mickey Jay. Armdrag, Jericho gets out, shoulderblock off the rope, back and forth we go, hiptoss attempt, up and over, Jericho eats a kick. 1, 2, no. Jericho punches out of the wristlock, whip, Booker T. holds onto the ropes and Jericho's dropkick finds nobody. For a second night in a row, Tony and I are fooled into thinking the opponent is going to do the liontamer on Jericho. Instead it's a catapult into the corner. Belly-to-back suplex by T for 2. Armbar, Jericho is up - eyepoke - chop (woooo!), repeat (woooo!), whip, duck, T comes up with a flying jalapeno. Off the ropes, Jericho holds on, T lunges at him but the Harlem sidekick misses and he crotches himself. T outside, Jericho on the top rope - springboard plancha (!) - faceslam on the mat - so has Jericho re-signed? Jericho back in the ring and looking for cheers, and finding the opposite. Back in goes T - pickup - half hour suplex. "Arrogant cover" for 1. Right hand. Chop (woooo!), foot on the throat. Jericho with the whip out of the corner, he follows, T goes up and over - rollup for 2. Jericho with a dropkick to stop that turnaround. Now the rear chinlock is on. I almost think I hear a "Let's go Jericho" chant trying to make it's way out of the booing. Booker's ready to power out as we take a gander at Ralphus. T is up and the fists are flying. Off the ropes, Jericho puts a knee in the gut and T flips, then rolls outside. Jericho poses, then follows out to take T's head to the STEEL steps. Here's a choke with the mic cable. Thrown back in, Jericho follows with a springboard into a flying forearm - here's a senton for 2. Jericho's doing too many moves to not have a new contract, you think? Knee across the back and Jericho's stretching him. Now Jericho and Jay are debating whether Booker T. quit or not. Bodyslam by Jericho. High five for Ralphus, cover, only 2. Headbutt! Whip out of the corner, Jericho follows but eats a boot. Flying clothesline by Booker T. Jericho with a big kick and a slam. "Are you ready?" Jericho goes up to the top - but Booker T. puts both feet up (LOUSY camera work on that one). Clothesline is ducked, kick by Booker T., axe kick off the ropes, whip, reverse, Booker T. catches him trying to leapfrog and hits a MASSIVE spinebuster for 2 (or as Tony would say, "sidewalk slam" - ARRGH). Forearm by T, whip into the opposite corner, Jericho goes up and over, T hits the corner and gets flapjacked coming out. Jericho poses and T breakdances. Harlem sidekick, to the top, missile dropkick, good night. 1, 2, 3. (10:09) Looks like Jericho should have never won the TV title, but the commentators completely miss that point. Good thing I'm here!

Gene O. brings out J.J. DILLON, who announces that Scott Dickinson has been suspended for thirty days. I could have sworn I heard Jericho talking to the commentators while Dillon was chatting. Dillon says he'd like to sign a triangle match tonight - Hall, Bigelow, and Goldberg. Hmm, I wonder if a shock stick will somehow be involved. And, oh boy, Dillon's sure looking forward to that Flair/Bischoff match coming up.

Tony announces that Bruise Cruise '99 will have DDP, Buff Bagwell, some Nitro Girls, and YOU! If you pay 'em.

TCI local drop-in ad hypes Sunday's Royal Rumble.

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, America (ha!) Online, and Lean Pockets.

WCW/NWO Magazine ad - this month's issue spotlight's Hollywood Hogan's retirement - oops.

Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight when the Horsemen chased away the limo and Flair said some stuff. God, Luger's a dink.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Larry Zbyszko, who, even though it's 45 minutes into the show, believes he hears someone chanting his name, so he stands up to look at the crowd. The Treacherous Three talk about David Flair in the pressure cooker (so THAT'S why his face looks so red!) and wonder what Bischoff will do in his match.

Gene O. has a lockerroom interview with REY MYSTERIO, JR. Gene asks him why he didn't give up the LWO shirt like everyone else did. "You know what Gene, with all due respect towards Mr. Flair and him being the president, I just felt it wasn't time for me. Red, white and green are MY colours - that's my brown pride." What the FUCK? Wasn't this guy going to ANY length to get out of the LWO two weeks ago? Gene asks about the mask, and Rey goes on and on about how his mask has never been taken away, and will never BE taken away. I don't like what this can only be setting up, by the way. They turn to Lex Luger, and Rey has some words for him. "I will not be intimidated. Lex, if you've got something against me, why don't you just bring it on?" Is YOUR spider sense tingling?

Mortal Kombat is NEXT! (Well, in 132 minutes)

I just FINALLY got that one Snickers ad. The fighter is scared that his EARS will get BITTEN! Ohhhhhh! Because...okay! I *got* it!

Local ad hypes an MWW (Who?) card 23 January at the Santa Clara Fairgrounds in San Jose. Meet Mankind (for a special autograph party - translation: pay)! Meet Vincent! (Nice "Virgil" picture there) The high flyin' Haystacks! And some KSJO guy refs the ULTIMATE CATFIGHT! I have never heard of MWW, but man, the APW guys should hire whoever's making their ads.

More still shots from last night's Flair/Flair tag match and subsequent beatdown. How come NOBODY comes to the aid of the Flairs here save Benoit? If Ric's such a great president, how come NO ONE came out? Is that too logical?

DAVID SAMMARTINO FLAIR v. CRACKA EAZY-E in a hair vs. hair & company match - Flair comes out to the IV Horsemen theme, Bischoff to the "NWO Monday Nitro" theme. Hey, remember NWO Nitro? Boy, that sucked. Thanks for reminding me of it, Eric! Isn't THIS some interesting timing, ten before the hour, ten before RAW. Eric takes EPOCHS to get to the ring. It's probably all he can do to keep from raising his arms in the air and saying "hey everybody, look at me!" while he's going to the ring. Eric has changed his red NWO logo shirt with a white NWO logo one, which can only mean he's going to job, because NO ONE in a red logo shirt jobs except Scott Hall. This entrance is reaching Goldberg-like lengths. Referee is Randy Anderson, which should have an interesting context in itself. "Bischoff sucks" chant fires up and is subsequently silenced by the tech crew as both men are searched. Match starts at four to the hour. Bischoff is dancing around, kick, kick. Legsweep by Bischoff, kick to the side of the head, soft. Larry notes that David isn't covering his face. There's a kick to the head and David goes down. In the corner, Bischoff pounding and now standing on him. Anderson pushes him back. Bischoff poses to the crowd. Flair with a right hand and Bischoff does a tree falling impersonation. 1, 2, 3. What the FUCK? (1:16) Oh, I see - Flair's got a roll of quarters in his fist. Hey, that's not that bad. THE IV HORSEMEN walk out. Mongo puts quarters on Bischoff's eyelids, nice touch. Flair has clippers and now it's time for the great lucha tradition come to America. Flair shaves Bischoff while Schiavone makes "bzzzz" sounds a la Bischoff. The bit that ISN'T shaved is quite grey - Bischoff's going BOB BARKER on us! Hmmm, RAW's about ready to start. The dome is completely shaved, and one stripe up the back of his head, making him look like a skunk. "Bischoff LePew!" laughs Larry. Eric comes to and covers his dome in shock. Tony says "someone get him a hat! That's an UGLY MAN!" Well... Bischoff yells to Randy Anderson and then tries to put the hair on the canvas back on his head. "Boy, he really IS black and white, isn't he?" "Ric Flair just got to the root of the problem," says Tenay. Replay shows that *Randy Anderson* slipped the roll of quarters to David Flair - OHHHHHHhh....that explains it. Well, now, that was pretty damn good. Good job, WCW. And what have we learned from tonight? Anyone who pays for a WCW pay-per-view is an idiot. Quick, switch to RAW!

WCW comes to Indianapolis for THUNDER!, Peoria, and on sale for San Antonio! Notice the shot of the Giant has been replaced with one of Kevin Nash.

THUNDER! ad.

Closed captioning where available (eh? what's that?) sponsored by Western Union!

Let's go to the back where Chris Jericho has tracked down J.J. Dillon - Perry Saturn is NOT wearing the dress per the stipulations in his contract for last night's match. Dillon reads it over, yup, he's right. He's very sorry, but Saturn needs to put on the dress.

I HATE KONNAN tries ta reprazent, but he's white.

Still shots from last night show that dreadfully exciting Luger/Konnan match that had all the office watercoolers buzzing today. Liz comes out and give a whole new meaning to "Torture Rack." Oh, and here's some still shots from the Flair/Flair tag match and that Coal Miner's Taser match, don't you dare buy that encore presentation!

Earlier Tonight, Eric Bischoff got shaved. What is the POINT of this replay? We SAW it already! If it's "a moment that's frozen in our minds forever that will not be forgotten," as Tony says, then what's with the replay? Though I will give Tony credit for saying it's no great loss due to that awful haircut Bischoff had before (oh, like I can judge the haircuts of others).

MEAN MIKE ENOS & BOBBY "THE TRAIN" DUNCUM JR. v. FACES OF FEAR (with James Hart) - I missed THUNDER! so I didn't hear the explanation of how Meng & Barbarian managed to patch up their differences and rejoin - maybe they're doing it for Duggan? This is apparently a bout in the Tag Team Tournament, the brackets of which we've never seen. Apparently, this is Jimmy Hart's First Family - you can tell Hogan's back in charge when Jimmy Hart starts forming stables. Duncum hits a nice pescado on Barbarian when I start paying attention to this match. barbarian and Enos in the ring. Powerslam by Enos, Duncum runs across the ring and hits Meng for no reason. SPIKE PILEDRIVER! Enos leaves the ring as Meng comes in with a kick of fear - Duncum lands on Barbarian by chance, 1, 2, no. Tag to Enos, who drives an axehandle into barbarian. Whip, reverse, duck, kick is missed, Enos over the top rope - Meng with a God-awful kick attempt, and then a kick that actually makes contact. Barbarian to the attack. Blatant choke brings Duncum in to distract referee "Blind" Charles Robinson. Big sidewalk slam by Barbarian goes uncalled. Duncum doesn't let the pinfall attempt get counted by running in and stomping. Duncum is taken out by Barbarian after turning his back. Slam by Meng, double middle rope headbutts on Enos. Tag to Meng. Double headbutt again. You know, I can't explain it, but I still LIKE these guys. That probably means they'll lose. Enos is trying to come back but it ain't working. Now both men are trying a backslide and it's a stalemate. Crowd is bored and doing that OHIO chant thing. Both teammates come in to break it up. Now it's a Pier 4 as they pair off. Meng chops away (woooo!) as Duncum and Barbarian go outside, then come back in. Double headbutt on Duncum. More nonsensical brawling by all four men and I'm waiting for Robinson to call for the double DQ. Barbarian throws Duncum outside and follows. Hart is choking Enos. Lariat by Meng on Enos. Enos pops up and Meng absorbs the blows. Piledriver by Meng. Duncum prevents a pin attempt. Now we cut to a split shot of a limousine - now I KNOW that this match ain't ending. Hogan sees the shorn Bischoff and says he'll take care of THAT. Steiner says "nice legs" to somebody. We're still watching the NWO *walking* in a tiny split screen. Now back to action, back body drop on Duncum by Barbarian. Now we cut to the NWO - they're still WALKING. Talk about excitement! I'm thinking this match won't end conclusively. Sho nuff. (No contest 6:50) Meng actually has a pretty good run until meeting with that taser that's become so popular recently. It goes without saying that Bischoff is wearing a cap. Nash says there won't be a tag team tournament. For a minute there, it looked like Nash was holding a book of some sort. Hogan talks about Bischoff, Flair, the SuperBrawl main event, the NWO, and "4 life." Hey, remember when Hogan and Hall had big-time problems and Hall came out to NO music? I wonder what happened with that. Hey, do they still want Page in the Wolfpack? Isn't it convenient that Bischoff with a cap today looks EXACTLY like Bischoff with a cap before the shaving? Oh, I shouldn't nitpick WCW so. They don't DESERVE it. I'm BIASED. Why doesn't wrestlemaniacs.com get somebody BETTER to do these reports? Wah wah wah waaaaah wah wah.

WCW/NWO THUNDER! video game ad. Goldberg speaks more in this spot than in his first nine months of wrestling.

Let's Take a Special Video Look at Hall and Bigelow and Goldberg, oh my!

Tony tells us that that exciting triangle match is on (like neckbone). Bobby Heenan joins the commentators.

DISCO INFER-NWO v. WRATH ATH - Let me repeat my standing offer while I have you here: I will perform Our National Anthem FOR FREE at SuperBrawl, in return for a backstage pass. Can you beat that with a stick or what? Get on it, WCW! I'll take back ALL the crappy things I've ever said about you! AND I sing on key! AND I know all the words! Lockup, Wrath pushes him away. Oh yeah, Disco's wearing an NWO shirt and red 'n' black pants. Tony drops that Alex Wright, who was supposed to be here tonight, is suspiciously absent. Mike ups the ante by saying that Steiner was saying "Nice knees" to the dress-wearing Perry Saturn backstage. Man, there's all sorts of inside knowledge to be had out there, isn't there? Meanwhile, NOT DA MOUNTIE is out with his shock stick as Wrath is in control. Hall is cheering on Disco Inferno. Disco sidesteps a charging Wrath, who hits the buckle. Swinging neckbreaker! Flying lariat, repeat, the man goes down. Second turnbuckle forearm drop for 2. Rear chinlock, but Wrath side suplexes out of that. Disco with an eyepoke, kicks to the midsection, whip into the opposite corner, kick, right, whip, reverse, foor up by Disco, leg trip, kicks the back of the leg, again, again, piledriver set up, Wrath counters with a back bodydrop before Disco can execute. Shoulderblock by Wrath. Standing dropkick looks spiffy. Disco out, Wrath following. Chop (woooo!), repeat (woooo!), rolled back in. Wrath in with a launched elbow over the top. Wrath turns his attention to Hall for a moment, but returns to his man. Whip off the ropes, head down, back of the head shot by Disco, Wrath ducks another and hits a Death Penalty. Hall's up on the apron - now he's V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y getting in the ring so Wrath can hit him and kick him out of the ring. Disco manages a kick to the gut and a Chartbuster - 1, 2, 3. (5:34) You think they're burying Wrath here? Commentators mention that this victory is bigger than either of his TV title wins. Hall and Disco embrace and walk out arm-in-arm. 1-800-COLLECT sponsors the replay.

Nitro Girls calendar ad. Or you could spend your $15 + $5.95 on a YEAR of Playboy.

Hey look, it's the Nitro Girls! Hey look, it's SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER come out to hit on the Nitro Girls. Of course, Kimberly, the LEADER of the Nitro Girls, takes charge and rescues the Girls from the advances of the freak. Instead of going to an ad break, we continue to listen to Steiner talk. I never thought I'd be sad we didn't go to break. Oh, wait, there we go.

Bruise Cruise ad. Wow! FREEPORT! NASSAU!! Also, the Nitro Girls will tape a swimsuit special (no doubt, tastefully done - damn) on the Cruise, so get yourself a piece of THAT action.

SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER (with Buff Bagwell in the goofiest hat I've ever seen him wear) graces us with another talkin' bit. Big Poppa Pump is looking for a freak of the week, a hooch, hip grabbin' all night long, this goes to all you freaks out there, Big Poppa Pump is your hookup, holla if ya hear me, by the way, I'm as white as K-Dawg. Is that a "Steroids" chant? Steiner says he saw someone pretty in the back, and calls out PERRY SATURN, A VERY PRETTY MAN, who comes out to an older version of his music. Buff: "You know, that dress is ALMOST as ridiculous as this hat!" Well as long as HE knows it...

SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER (with Buff Bagwell) v. PERRY SATURN, A VERY PRETTY MAN - "There's two things from Texas - steers and (mute) - now I know you're not from Texas, and I don't see no horns, so you must be a little..." and he makes the wavy motion with his hand. Saturn hauls off with a right - there's one for Buff, repeat, both men out, Saturn lifts his dress for Scotty, uh. Does he have to WRESTLE in that dress? Apparently so. Steiner mouths off to some random fans, and now he's FINALLY back in the ring. Side headlock by Saturn, shoulderblock and no one moves. THIS time Steiner goes down. Clothesline. Atomic drop, lariat, towering springboard leg drop from the second rope. Only 2. head to the buckle - Steiner's trick knee acts up and Steiner takes the low blow. Belly-to-belly suplex. Kick to the head by Steiner. Into the corner, lotsa rights, foot on the throat, Buff gets a choke of his own while Steiner and referee "Blind" Charles Robinson discuss painkillers. Saturn's out now and Steiner's following. Whip into the barricade. Steiner borrows a Michigan cap from a fan - now THAT'S heat. He's wrestling in the land of Buckeyes with a Michigan cap on. That works on so many levels for him. I take back everything I ever said about Scott Steiner. Whip into the corner. Saturn puts the boots up. Superkick. Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine, again, right, right, kick, Saturn puts the dress over Steiner's head and there's a partial Ten Punch Count Along. Dropkick takes Steiner out. Saturn with a - I think a tope, bad camera work. Steiner rolled back in - Saturn to the top - BIG splash! Buff's on the apron at 1 - Saturn decks Buff and avoids Steiner. Attempting the Spicolli Driver, Buff manages to grab the ankle - Saturn gives Buff another shot, which distracts him just enough for Steiner to hit an overhead suplex and the Steiner recliner. Arm falls three times - give the assist to Buff. (6:04) Scott starts talking about his arms to make me remember why I normally don't like him again.

Hey, look, it's the Nitro Girls!

Let Us Take You Back to Last Week, where Lex Luger talks Rey Mysterio into removing his LWO shirt. Wait, check that, I meant "demolishes and Racks," not "talks."

BIG POOCHIE & THE TOTAL WOLFPACKAGE present LIZ - "Yo yo yo yo let me speak on dis - OIL OF OLAY!" Nash says if it weren't for him, Konnan would still be "pulling the curtain in the first match, and he knows it!" Actually, we ALL know that, Big Kev. They make fun of Konnan having to breathe hard after just TALKING. They're scoring points with me! Nash says it's not about salads, it's about the Benjamins. "You said earlier that if you're not the lead wolf, the view never changes - well how was your view the last two and a half years?" Luger says Liz looked great last night. Nash says she painted a pretty picture last night. Luger turns to Mysterio and sure enough, we start talking about the mask again. Luger challenges Mysterio and says he'll demask Rey tonight if he gets in the ring with him. I wonder if Rey Mysterio is still joining the Wolfpack? Luger says if he just hands over the mask in the back, they'll call off the match - otherwise, it's on. Well, I don't know how that match would be any good. I don't know how Rey can let his mask be part of ANY angle after seeing how well it worked for Juventud Guerrera. When you get right down to it, there are actually a lot of things I don't know about this crazy business - but there is one thing I DO know, and that one thing is this: The Wolfpack is most definitely in the house.

Bruise Cruise promo. Geez, they must REALLY be on the verge of cancelling this thing if they're this desperate for calls...

Backstage, we see Scott Steiner following Kimberly into the Nitro Girls' dressing room - where none of them are in any state of undress. SIC 'IM, SPICE! Security finally shows up to escort him away.

Here's some still shots from last night's Four Corners match. My take on it was that Starrcade's matches were better but Kidman is still near "the man" status.

PSYCHOSIS v. NEVER SURRENDER JUVENTUD GUERRERA - I thought these guys were friends - so who's the good guy in this matchup? Juvi pushes, Psychosis pushes back. Dueling chops (woooo!), kick by Psychosis. Swinging neckbreaker. Dropkick to the head. Hey Psychosis, the crowd doesn't appreciate taunts WHEN THEY'RE IN SPANISH. Clothesline ducked, again, Juventud with a flying headscissors, this is some good action! We BETTER take an ad break QUICK!

When we come back, big spinebuster from Psychosis. Rear chinlock by Psychosis, somebody tell these guys we're OUT of the ad break. Guerrera elbows out, Psychosis yanks on the hair to take him down. Chop (woooo!), again (woooo!), off the ropes, dropkick and Guerrera goes outside - watch it - nope, nothing cool. Suplex back in. Leg hooked, 1, 2, no. Psychosis apparently swears to referee "Blind" Mickey Jay because it's muted. Slam. Top rope moonsault misses. Guerrera climbs up the corner - and eats a dropkick in the gut as he goes down. Jay bungles ANOTHER count at 2. Psychosis is right to argue. Whip off the ropes, duck, up, bulldog counter. 1, 2, no. Guerrera with a chop (woooo!) and he's set on the top rope. Guerrera with a Multi Punch Count Along, Psychosis punches him onto a crotch on the ropes, there's a rope pull and Guerrera goes outside. Here he goes! Tope suicida! Psychosis is walkin' kinda funny afterwards - how'd he land? Rolled back in - top rope missile dropkick from the top rope - Mickey Jay AGAIN bungles the count and stops at 2. I bet Psychosis isn't supposed to win. Psychosis with the hair pull - up and over - Guerrera lands on his feet - counter, there's that move I don't know the name of even though it's been emailed to me a million times, 1, 2, no. Powerbomb attempt is rolled through - Guerrera comes down and hangs on to Psychosis' face for another ersatz bulldog. Big splash in the corner misses as Psychosis steps aside. Charge meets the boots. Another charge and *Guerrera* steps aside. He motions for the 450 but Psychosis crotches him. Now Guerrera is laying and Psychosis is climbing the ropes - now GUERREA crotches him. Superplex? Psychosis holds on and counters - SUPER FACESLAM! Or front suplex if you like. GUILLOTINE LEGDROP! 1, 2, 3! There *is* justice in this world after all - Psychosis wins and should stake a claim to a shot at the title. (11:17)

Wolfpack T-shirt ad has an awful lot of Sting shots (but no Savage shots).

Rerun of the Special Video Look at Hall, Bigelow, and Goldberg. They fight tonight, you see.

THE NARCISSIST v. AD BREAK

SuperBrawl IX ad is quite lame. It looks like a freakin' MARINES ad, fer cryin' out loud.

THE NARCISSIST v. REY MYSTERIO, JR. - Rey comes out to his "we stole from Morris Day" theme music and wearing his LWO T-shirt. WHY? By the way, that shirt seems to fit - I thought he had to wear an XXXXXXL shirt. After the bell but before the match, Luger gets the mic and tells Mysterio they tried to be nice, but he HAD to come out in that shirt and mask. He gives him one more chance, and Rey says no. He gives him one MORE chance, Rey looks to the crowd, so Lex strikes. Big kick to the gut, big elbow to the head. Watch along with me and count the wrestling moves! Big choke into the corner. Big elbow, big pound on the back. Big beale. (Tony called is "massive" but it was only "big") Lex with a big shirt removal of Rey. Big elbow. Big whip, big charge misses as Rey stpes aside. Lots of elbows, kick, springboard legdrop to the back of the head. Dropkick. Oh boy, bronco buster. Split-legged moonsault by Rey for 2. Flying forearm by Rey, whip is reversed, there's a big powerslam. Heenan's commentary is a winner here, by the way. Big kick, more big kicks as BIG POOCHIE walks out. Huh? He's applauding, anyway. Big half hour suplex. Luger and Nash exchange Wolfpack signs. Big press - what's he gonna do with him? Just a big slam. Luger is making the "mask removal" motions. And now - no, Rey's punching away because he has "fighting spirit." So Luger hits a big knee to the gut. Big whip, Rey dropkicks the knees. To the corner, whip, Ten Punch Count Along is countered with a big atomic drop after five. And there's a big Ace toolbox forearm shiver. "Now we take the mask off!" AGAIN Rey fires back with punches as Lex goes for the mask. Punches and elbows in bunches. Well, that's enough - Nash is in the ring and there's a sidewalk slam (DQ 5:58) Luger again goes for the mask, and again Rey manages a flurry, INCLUDING a series of kicks to Nash's legs. Finally, Lex hits a big double sledge and Nash follows with a jackknife powerbomb. Here's the big Torture Rack. Will they FINALLY get that mask off? Nope, here's I HATE KONNAN come in with a chair to protect his "BU-OY." This whole thing makes me sick on so many levels, you know.

Here's a video look at the big press conference for the opening of the WCW Nitro Grill at the Excalibur in Las Vegas. Diamond Dallas Page, in Las Vegas to help out with the festivities, knocks out a wall.

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by 10-10-321!

Promotional consideration paid for by Lean Pockets and Slim Jim. I'm hungry.

Again, Steiner puts the moves on Kimberly while her man is in Las Vegas.

You know what I love about Nitro? They have the chutzpah to put on TWO minutes of action between ad breaks! And that INCLUDES the promotional consideration!

NOT DA MOUNTIE (with Disco Infer-NWO) v. GOLDBERG v. BAM BAM BIGELOW - Did Hall get his money back for that LONE WOLF vest he wore for about two weeks? Goldberg may not have the belt anymore, but the crowd still seems to dig him (even if I don't hear that chant). Entrance is ONLY 1:45. Goldberg rushes the ring and Hall and Disco flee to the entranceway - but their back is to Bigelow, who takes it to both of them and gets in the ring. Looks like Bigelow and Goldberg are teaming up against Hall. Legtrip by Goldberg, stomp by Bigelow, elbow by Bigelow, fair "Goldberg" chant now. Lariat by Bigelow. Kick to the head by Goldberg, right by Bigelow. Hall falls out and Bigelow finally turns on Goldberg with repeated rights. Whip into the corner, Goldberg with a back elbow as he comes out. Foot to the face gets only 2 as Hall manages to get back in and break the pin. Hall with a lot of blows on Goldberg, Bigelow joins him. Goldberg manages to get the advantage on both men (oh, RIGHT). Whip of Bigelow into the corner. Whip of Hall into Bigelow. Double spear! Crowd goes NUTS. Jackhammer on Bigelow? Nope, double sledge by Hall. Hall tries a suplex but Goldberg reverses into a jackhammer. BRIAN ADAMS is in (no bell?) - the ENTIRE NWO B-TEAM is out now and still Goldberg is having no problems. Now the NWO A-TEAM is out and they're all on Goldberg. STILL no bell called for. The IV HORSEMEN are out. That's big of Flair to help out all those guys who didn't lift a FINGER to save his kid. Well, it's a Pier 16 here. Hall and Flair are fighting in the entryway - Hall serving as the firewall to help Hogan get away from Flair. Flair finally gets Hall down and runs to the back - just as he catches the limousine, we fade out as the bell FINALLY rings. (No contest? Goldberg by DQ? 4:09 I guess - I'm being generous there)