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/20 September 1999

WCW Nitro

20.9.99

Main
BLAH
See that byline up there? That's how you tell if I wrote it or if somebody else did. I can't tell you HOW many emails I got last week ripping me for something that Galatea wrote. It's like you read everything but the freakin' byline!

Here, this is what mine looks like again:

by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs


Try to remember that. OK!

QUICK QUOTE: SPLN 25 3/8 (- 1)

BLAH

Nitro

3.5

LAST WEEK: TV-PG-DLV - Is Millennium Man Next? (Notice how the people producing this clip can correctly spell!) - Nature Boy Returns - And Refuses to Back Down - Hogan and Hart Stand Up for Flair (huh?)

WCW logo

Sinister Voiceover Guy IMPLORES us to hate Sting (You hate Sting, you have ALWAYS hated Sting) - hey, there's Jerry Lynn!

WE ARE LIVE from the First Star Center (the "first star" being, of course, the almighty WCW logo - how was YOUR Yom Kippur?) in Cinicinnati, OH 20.9.99 - here's a loving look at David Penzer (huh?) - the big return match for Halloween Havoc is Sting vs. Hulk Hogan - GET PUMPED! Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE and BOBBY HEENAN, who prove that white is NOT a "slimming" colour. Tonight, Sting takes on Chris Benoit, Goldberg wrestles, and folks in the front row hold up giant "WCW Mayhem" boxes!

JUVENTUD GUERRERA & PSYCHOSIS v. RAYMOND STEREO & (billy) KIDMAN - Juvi's not dressed up like Kidman tonight, so I guess we'll NEVER find out what THAT was about. The Countdown to the Milliennium - err, Mayhem - is at 3:03:50:24. Kidman all over Psychosis to start. Off the ropes, shoulderblock, up and over, leapfrog, again, flying headscissors by Kidman, dropkick. Elbow, whip is reversed, Juvi hits from behind, Kidman hits HIM, then runs into a Psychosis front slam. Tag to Juvi - top rope headscissors. Who's thirsty for Baby Juice? Kidman comes back, reversing the move, gutshot, up and over - side headlock, to the ropes, tag, off the ropes, Juvi on Kidman's shoulders - top rope super Thesz press from Mysterio - quebrada! Shot on Psychosis for good measure, but Juvi hits a gutshot when he turns back around and there's a belly-to-back. Tag to Psychosis. Dropkick. Tag to Guerrera - Psychosis holds him over his shoulder and Rey hits a guillotine legdrop from the top - Kidman in, Kidman out. Off the ropes, duck, headscissors from Mysterio. Psychosis tries to dump him, but Kidman's in with a splash on both men. Mysterio sends him into the ropes, Kidman dumps him over, backdrops Mysterio over, and Mysterio hits an Asai moonsault on Guerrera. Back in the ring, Psychosis with the gutshot. YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN! Kidman motioning for the shooting star press - but Guerrera meets him on the turnbuckle. Kidman shoves him off, and flies - into Psychosis' feet! 1, 2, 3!! (4:53) EDDIE GUERRERO & KONNAN, who must be bad sports, are out and stomping on Psychosis and Guerrera. Psychosis thrown into the ring and Kidman's ... trying to unmask Psychosis?!? Now that's just COMPLETELY disrespectful. These guys are FACES? Man, talk about poor losers. CHAVO GUERRERO JNR is out and pulling Kidman off. Kidman, Konnan and Mysterio all try to go for Chavo, but Eddie separates them. Psychosis says a bit of Spanish,

X.X

4.1

Chavo says Psychosis just challenged him to a mask vs. hair match (well, he DIDN'T, but...) - next week we'll have that match. I could tell you who's gonna win but why spoil it? I WILL tell you that this would be an interesting way to punish Kidman...

(Close to) Opening Credits

Here's a really long, probably pretty expensive ad for WCW Mayhem. Why's it look more exciting than about 2/3 of your average Nitro? And don't you wish YOU could say "kill it" and stop Tony from speaking?

WCW Nitro is brought to you by Wendy's Classic Hamburgers - it's hamburger bliss!

Let Us Take You Back to Sid - Sid - Sid - Sid - and replay the same Goldberg bits you saw at the beginning of the show

NASTY BRIAN KNOBS (with James Hart) v. COLD BEER - to have Goldberg this early in the show - are they punishing him? Burying him? Setting up an angle for later in the show? Just randomly clueless? Jimmy Hart get mic time - alert the media. Here's a Knobs transcription so I never have to do it again. "FIRST OF ALL, SHUT YOUR STINKIN' MOUTHS, YOU IDIOTS. HEY GOLDBERG - YOU BEEN RUNNIN' AROUND LIKE YOU'RE THE TOUGHEST MAN ON THE PLANET. WELL I'M THE NASTIEST MAN ON THE PLANET, AND JUST LIKE ALL THESE LOSERS HERE IN CINCINNATI, JUST LIKE THE CINCINNATI BENGALS GOT SQUASHED RIGHT HERE IN THIS TOWN...TONIGHT, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW GOLDBERG, IF YOU GOT THE GUTS I'M GONNA KICK YOUR STINKIN' ASS!" Can he actually say "ass?" I guess he IS a friend of Hogan's... Goldberg's entrance looks a lot like that Gillberg guy's, doesn't it? Couldn't they get him a locker room closer to the entrance if they're gonna show him all the way from there out to the entryway? Entrance is (2:32) - Goldberg grabs Hart, Knobs tries to attack, but, you know, this is Goldberg and stuff. Knobs outside with a chair. Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack! All this does is make this match longer! Will it make is as long as the entrance? What do YOU think? Jimmy Hart's megaphone gets five or six whacks as well - but before we can take a trip to Pitty City,

X.X

4.7

there's the spear, there's jackhammer, there's the three count, thank you, drive through. (2:26) And the answer is, of COURSE this match isn't as long as the entrance. They're more like the WWF every day! "Well, Sid Vicious. If I remember correctly, last week, I was in this very ring, and I threw a challenge out to you, Sid. And what'd you do? You packed your bags and you left like a little girl. You know, you've amassed quite a record, but guess what - so have I. And since you got that belt...I want it. And since I gotta go through you, I'm gonna get it. You know, you've been a great intimadator over the last months in WCW, BUT intimidation is my game! And once the hunted, now I turn into the hunter! And there ain't no fear in these eyes, Sid - there's only anger - and I direct it - and I will take it out - on only one person. So I give you five weeks, Sid, because at Halloween Havoc, you're mine. And - you're next."

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, WCW Grip'n'flip wrestlers, Tootsie Caramel Apple Pops, Motel 6 7/8, and the tangy zip of Miracle Whip! And Tootsie rolls and pops, again! This Slim Jim ad features a nice gratuitous Gorgeous George cleavage shot, uh huh.

Revolution - Revolution - Let's Take a Special Video Look at the Revolution - Revolution - take a drink if you hear the word "Revolution" - Out with Prostitution, In with Revolution!

Tonight, Sting defends against Chris Benoit. Let Us Take You Back to Last Week where Malenko and Benoit prove that they've mastered their crap - whoops, Heenan said "craft," didn't he.

Tony calls for Keith Mitchell, but his mic was still on - oops. And now GENE O. invites THE MAN into the ring. Tony says a major blockbuster involving Flair has been signed, but that'll have to wait since he wants to talk now. Flair says "we got a ballgame now!" and demands a shot at Sting. Umm, they wouldn't....well CHRIS BENOIT is out to remind Flair that Sting's already booked tonight. Flair can have a shot at Sting, but not until HE'S gotten HIS shot first. Flair again calls for Sting "Now - now - now - woooo!" "Naitch, I've heard nothing but promises - broken promises - from you about 'wait until it's your turn, it's not your time' - well, Flair, it IS my turn, it IS my time...and tonight, Stinger, you're man enough to wear that belt, be man enough to defend it against the Crippler and leave your goons in the back, 'cause I'm not gonna have any of the Revolution around. I got something to prove to myself, to my fans, and to the world, 'cause tonight you're gonna find out just how intense the Crippler is." Flair says he's gonna go find Sting RIGHT NOW. Okay, so Sting's a heel, right? And Benoit's a face...I think...so Flair's....what does that make Flair?

TONIGHT: Benoit vs. Sting! The graphic must not lie!

Closed captioning brought to you by George Foreman and Meineke

Mortal Kombat

X.X

4.3

is NEXT!

Here's a Special Video Look at the Nitro Girl Search

Gene O. brings out NITRO GRRLS KIMBERLY & TYGRESS - last week's winner, in a fix, was Ashley. Let's meet this week's fabulous, hot, spunky and funky finalists! Here's KEISHA SIMPSON - and here's ROBBIE SPENCER. I predict the fix is in for Robbie. I should probably say something about the fact that they picked two sistas to go head-to-head, but I'll just avoid that whole race thing, yeah. Next week, the big Atlanta showdown! Thanks WCW.com!

The WCW World Heavyweight Title match is NEXT! PLEASE don't change the channel, we're begging you!

WCW makes up THUNDER! with a very special engagement Thursday at the Scope in Norfolk! Friday tix on sale for Nitro in Biloxi, Nitro in Philly, and THUNDER! in San Diego. Thursday, tix on sale for THUNDER! in Baton Rouge and the return of WCW to the NAC in Oakland 22 October! Two times in two months to the Bay Area? PINCH ME! If you're watching Worldwide on KICU, you probably caught that hilarious Disco Inferno interview where he claimed he was the figurehead of WCW and attempted to book a match with Goldberg for the main event in Oakland. Didn't work, but give him props for trying!

CHRIS BENOIT (with TV-PG-DLV ratings box) v. (THIS IS) STING for the World Heavyweight championship - Oh boy, I can SMELL the screwjob! "It's not a good idea for me to talk about next week's program in the midst of this one..." since when, Tony? Anyway, next week, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Bret Hart will team up against Diamond Dallas Page, Lex Luger and Sting. Lockup, to the corner, Benoit strikes, Sting blocks, clean break. Lockup, side headlock from Benoit - off the ropes, Benoit slides through, Sting catches the leg, enziguiri ducked, Sting off the ropes and over, there's a Blackman-esque shoulderblock and Benoit goes outside. Sting calls to the crowd - and they still respond, even though we're supposed to hate him! Benoit's a 3-time TV champ, you know. Back in the ring.

X.X

3.6

Test of strength? No, Benoit with the gutshot, forearm, off the ropes, duck, duck, Sting with a clothesline. Again Benoit takes a powder. At this rate, I'm thinking "one hour draw." Yeah, right. Back in we go. Lockup, waistlock, go behind, standing switch, repeat, Benoit tosses him over his shoulder. Sting up and there's a dropkick. Benoit goes outside again. Sting again calls to the crowd. I bet that "FORMER #1 STING FAN" sign is planted. Sting tries a kick - Benoit catches it and hits a dragon screw leg whip - there's a dropkick to the knee. Benoit kicking at the knee - there's a buttdrop to the knee. Working it over - Indian deathlock - with a bridge!! Sting crawling to the ropes - Heenan says he's tapping - that'd work for me. Benoit wrenches the knee into the canvas. Elbow to the msush. There's a scoop - he's tying him to the Tree of Woe! Benoit ready to charge - baseball slide finds the mark. Crowd booing Benoit - sigh. A second attempt fails when Sting rises. Sting outside - there's a double leg pull - each leg on opposite sides of the ringpost, see. Sting asks referee Nick Patrick to check the time remaining - then pulls Benoit into the post again. That's a Flair tactic, by the way. Stomp from Sting. Atomic drop. Inverted atomic drop. Or was that the other way round? Sting kicking the back of the knee. Stomp on the quad. There's an elbowdrop - 2 count. Sting in control here - picking him up for - well, I don't know - they flubbed it. Sting takes him into the opposite corner - pickup - atomic drop again. But Benoit comes back with a clothesline. Sting back to the gutstomp. To a headlock. It's a testament to the ability in the ring - and the intelligence of the attending audience - that the crowd doesn't die here. Back up - elbowing out. Chop, off the ropes, Sting buries a knee in the gut and Benoit flips. Elbowdrop, and another. Sting rolls him into the centre and covers - but only 2. Vertical suplex - no, front suplex. Cover - 2. Sting takes him off the ropes - Benoit grabs and rolls - 2 count. Sting up with the clothesline. Back to the headlock. Benoit turning, Sting holding on. Benoit struggling to get back to his feet - crowd not exactly coming alive for him but they're trying the synchronised clapping. Benoit up - elbowing out. There's a chop - off the ropes and Sting holds on, Benoit finding only air on the dropkick. Another call to the crowd. 1, 2, shoulder up. Benoit's dead weight as Sting tries to lift him - inside cradle! 1, 2, no. Sting standing over Benoit, circling. Stomp into the gut. Sting setting him up. Now going to the top...but the splash attempt meets the knees! Stinger splash - MISSES! Lariat from Benoit. Benoit's thumb crosses his throat - swandive headbutt HITS! 1, 2, no! Are you there, God? It's me, CRZ. PLEASE don't have this end in a screwjob after all this time. Thank you, Amen. Both men up simultaneously, but slowly. Benoit kicks, again, snap suplex - holding on for another - still holding on - Crippler crossface! Sting's too close to the ropes. Hold broken. Benoit takes him off the ropes - no, Sting holds on. Duck, full nelson from Benoit - Sting frees himself - Benoit with a sleeper, Sting shrugs it off, Benoit and Patrick collide. Benoit puts up the boot, there's another kick - got Sting up - TOMBSTONE! Cover - but there's no ref. Benoit counts his own three just to make a point, then checks on Patrick. Sting tries to rolle over Benoit - Benoit counters - Sting tries again - there's a German suplex! Another three seconds elapses - well now THE GODDAM NARCISSIST is in with the baseball bat - whack. Patrick is up. 1, 2, 3. (15:02) THE MAN comes in, ducks a bat shot and wails away on Luger. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE is in from the crowd - Diamond Cutter on Flair, who does a full flip - wow! Luger and Page stomp away. YOU KNOW WHO makes the save - ugh, just lost me. It's all downhill from here, fans. Still - match of the night, easily.

RAW

5.4

2.6

Promotional consideration paid for by David (Flair) sunflower seeds, WCW Tough Talkin' Wrestlers ("They're Really Talking To Each Other!"), Tootsie Caramel Apple Pops (again), IceSport from Aqua Velva, Blast o' Butter popcorn from JollyTime, and Tootsie Rolls'n'pops (again).

The WCW Superstar Series presents "Hollywood Hogan: Why I Rule the World" and "the Nature Boy Ric Flair!"

BYRLYN vignette - achtung! Mein Kopf ist SPINNEN!

SCOTT ARMSTRONG v. BYRLYN (mit bodyguard) - later on tonight, they may sign Page vs. Flair - in the meantime, watch this. No, YOU watch this. I'm getting a snack. Who are you talking to? Don't look at me, I'm just sittin' here. (neckbreaker -> pin 3:41) Following the match, Berlyn clamps on - are you ready? - a DEVASTATING REAR CHINLOCK! BRAD ARMSTRONG comes out to put a stop to THIS nonsense - looking decidely un-Solja-like.

"Earlier Tonight," the ICP bus pulled up and Vampiro and the Clowns walked out. Violent J and Vampiro provide advice to Shaggy 2 Dope as - somehow - he's gotten a Cruiserweight title shot.

THUNDER! ad features a lot of PPV main events - and STILL it only got a 2.4?

6.1

2.8

Tony shills the WCW Hotline

Let Us Take You Back to Last Week where Flair talked, Sting talked, and I typed it all up then, so go read that one. Actually, it flows a lot better this week with the extraneous stuff edited out (most notably, Gene giving away Ric's lines before he says them) although they felt the need to mute "damned" and "ass." Bah.

Gene O. interviews DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE. I like pork rinds.

TONIGHT: DDP vs. Ric Flair! Quote that graphic - wait, I just did!

"Watch the Horror Unfold" - that joke is TOO easy - so instead I'll say that Halloween Havoc is Sunday, 24 October!! Why didn't they have it on Halloween, you ask? Well, they didn't want you to have to keep getting up off the couch to throw candy at little kids while you're trying to watch the PPV.

Let Us Take You Back to Last Week where Eddie Guerrero and Perry Saturn had a match, and Saturn won. Since the return match is THIS week, guess who'll win! Go on, guess!

BLITZKRIEG v. EVAN KARAGIAS - the winner of THIS match gets a Cruiserweight title shot on THUNDER! and
6.0

2.5

even knowing this, I can't get up for it. Out of the possible matchups - Lenny or Shaggy 2 Dope vs. Evan Karagias or Blitzkrieg, which one would suck the least? And which one do YOU think they'll actually have? Tony, as you might expect, talks about the big 6-man main event for next week's show, as well as the "special bond" that's formed between Hogan, Flair and Hart. As we look at SID VISCOUS and CHARLES ROBINSON walk to ringside, Karagias quickly hits a top rope splash with a full twist for the pin (4:22) to guarantee one half of the match I DON'T want to see - and here's your standard chokeslam, powerbomb, signs STILL misspelled (they MUST be doing it on purpose now, right?) and the record is 85-0, we are told. Because the readers of this column demand it, I shall transcribe. "Yeah, if you want to, chant Goldberg! See Goldberg, you come running out here with your police protection - you call MY name out - you challenge Sid Vicious - you accuse me of jumping people from behind - see, if you haven't figured it out, Goldberg, I do what the hell I want to! And at Halloween Havoc, the scariest sight in the world, I'm gonna give you what you THINK you want. Yeah. I'm gonna give it to you, Goldberg, but we'll play by my rules. Between now and Halloween Havoc, you don't even come ten feet near me. You don't TOUCH me, you do what I say, and if you make a mistake and you don't do that, just like that, you lose your opportunity! But at Halloween Havoc, if you're a good boy, you will become just another number, on my march to the year 2000 - where I will be declared - the Millennium Man - I will hold the record of WCW - and there's nothing you can do about it, because Sid - enough said." Could someone PLEASE explain to me what the deal is with Robinson standing there, smiling, holding the sign and wearing the US title, and then in other segments acting like a normal referee? Are there TWO Robinsons and I'm just not paying attention? Please! Enlighten me!

Jimmy Barron does the Cheap Bastard Road Report - Nitro's in Atlanta next week, you know - but no ticket information for you!

Sting carries the power of the card, despite being a heel

Let's take a different Special Video Look at the Revolution

PERRY SATURN (with Dean Malenko, Shane Douglas & TV-PG-DLV ratings box) v. EDDIE GUERRERO (with Filthy Animals) - as Tony runs down the onsales, I'm reminded that Bret Hart will be at the Colesium Saturday - I'd go, but I'll be sleeping - and maybe hung over. Shoving match, lockup, to the ropes, off the ropes, shoulderblock from Saturn. Guerrero tries to run at him but casually gets tossed.
6.0

2.3

Elbows to the head. Saturn picks him up - taken up but there's a headscissors counter. Guerrero with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. Saturn gets a 2. Nose to nose and everybody's up on the apron. Cooler heads prevail, briefly. Guerrero runs at Saturn and gets dumped onto the apron - back elbow and he hits the barricade - Douglas throws him back in. Headlock must mean it's ad break time.

When we come back, he's STILL in that headlock! Amazing! Guerrero to his feet - now elbowing out. Saturn picking him up - Guerrero manages an armdrag to take him down. duck, gutshot, again, springs off the second rope and hits a DDT! Guerrero up first - punches - off the ropes, duck down, dropkick! Eddie climbs the ropes, there's a 'rana for 2. Out of the corner, reverse, up and over, Saturn catches him with a head and arm Tazplex. Top rope elbowdrop - 1, 2, no! Saturn motions for the DVD - got him up - Eddie counters into a victory roll for 2. Saturn clotheslines him to regain control. Sat on the turnbuckle. Eddie punching back - Frankensteiner off the top rope! Eddie going to the top for the frog splash - which misses. Saturn runs at him - and sails over the top rope to the floor. Konnan decides to throw him back in - Saturn promptly goes back out and punks out Konnan. Saturn is no my hero. Meanwhile, in the ring - Shane Douglas has a chain around his fist and WAFFLES Guerrero. Saturn is none too pleased about this, but eventually covers. Nick Patrick is back in - 1, 2, 3. Wow, Saturn's 2-0 against him! (7:48) Saturn says "You didn't have to do that!" while Douglas counters with "We're not making friends, we're making money!" Hmmm....

Coming up: a DDP vs. Ric Flair graphic!

WCW comes to a bunch of places I enumerated earlier in the report

Goldberg wants you to handicap some football games on cnnsi.com! Just don't bet on cockfighting!

The Main Event at Halloween Havoc is Sting vs. Hogan - here's the graphic to help you remember it. Tony says "bumper" - that's an insider television term I can't bother to explain to you now

Gene O. welcomes YOU KNOW WHO to the ring.
6.7

2.6

Hogan hypes next week's main event. What Hogan, Flair and Hart have in common that brings them together is ... apparently, next week's main event. Oh...kay.

Let Us Take You Back to Last Week as the Insane Clown Posse took on Lenny & Lodi with Shaggy 2 Dope pinned Lenny - which apparently set up this match.

Here's a bit of an Insane Clown Posse video, with all the naughty words excised.

SHAGGY 2 DOPE (with Violent J & Vampiro) v. LENNY (with Lodi) for the World Cruiserweight championship - Everybody's got a sign - Vampiro's says "YOUR MAMA FEARS ICP," Violent J's sign says "MTV FEARS ICP" and Shaggy's says "RADIO FEARS ICP." Lodie's signs say "Blowpops make the world go 'round" - "Asheboro Power House!!!" - "ICP wears makeup 'cuz they're ugly" - It's funny because it's true! - "Lenny luvs Ricky Martin!" Sign in crowd says "Vampiro - You Owe Me" and I have to laugh because it's already been forgotten, despite getting major play on Worldwide over the weekend. After the match starts, C.G. AFI rushes the ring and gets decked by Lodi before being hauled off by Security - if this were a REAL fan, the camera wouldn't be staying on him, see? Apparently, he's finally had it with Lodi after tonight. He's snapping like Shamrock now! We move back to the ring to see Lenny jump into the arms of referee Mickey J, who drops him. Lodi and Lenny hug - and Shaggy dropkicks him. Pounding away - on his shoulder - to the mat - 1, 2, no. Shaggy to the top rope, Lenny moves a leg away. Tony makes up a bunch of stuff that Afi apparently said, which none of US actually heard - "Wait 'til my brother gets here..." oh boy we're introducing TWO people out of this angle! Hey, wait! Maybe he's the guy playing the piano!! Shaggy takes Lenny to the mat but misses the top rope legdrop. "John Boy Bought my dinner last night" - thanks for sharing, Lodi. Nice Tigerbomb by Lenny for 2. Lenny crawls in a suggestive manner, covers in a suggestive manner, andgets 2. Off the ropes, duck, Shaggy slides under, gutshot from Lenny, scoop - nope, bulldog by Dope for 2. Shaggy calls a spot! Lenny reverses - but Shaggy turns it into a running Ligerbomb for 2! There's another called spot - I guess Lane's calling the match. There's a victory roll for 2. Lane dumps him over the top rope - Lodi pulls him to the floor, cracking his jaw on the apron on the way down. Vampiro and Violent J (is he related to Mickey J?) walk over, there's a rollup by Dope for 2 - Lenny kicks out and Shaggy runs over, hits Lodi on the apron, who falls onto J and Vampiro out on the floor - meanwhile, Lane rolls up Dope for the pinfall - whew, that was close. (4:01)
5.8

2.6

10-10-321 provides the replay. So we don't get Lane vs. Blitzkrieg, but at least we don't have Dope vs. Karagias...

Let's take a Special Video Look at the Nitro Girls - since they're not performing tonight...

And here's the rest of the cities taking place in the Search for the new Nitro Girl

Gene O. welcomes RICK WOOF WOOF to the ring to make noise - to compound matters, SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER is back. Somebody forgot to tell him that the NWO is gone, too, since he promises to extract revenge on Hogan for leaving it.

TCI sold a local spot to the WWF for Unforgiven here - clever.

WCW Monday Nitro is brought you by Starburst Hard Candy - give it some juice!

(khris) KANYON (with a bottle of Surge) v. BOOKA T. (with Stevie Ray) - poor Kanyon, there's not enough time left in the show for him to get mic time - the Harlem Heat theme starts up and Kanyon meekly passes it back to Penzer. Mayhem countdown
5.7

2.0

at 3:01:13:37, yup. This matchup is usually quite good (this is the third time I can remember), but they don't really have any time to do it this week, and the result is a mediocre, too short match ending with T's missile dropkick for the pin. (4:28)

WATCH the Horror Unfold! And feel the sponsorship of SLIM JIM!

NEXT: DDP vs. Ric Flair! But first, MORE ADS!

DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE v. THE MAN - Page doesn't even get to do any walking before Flair rushes him from behind and it's on! They're over a safety barricade and into the crowd. Flair punching away, rights and left, head to the barricade. Flair opening every orifice in his face. Right hand. Choke. Flair making a move on Robinson - hey, I thought they were...oh never mind. Page is invited to take a seat. Page thrown in the ring. Flair stylin' and profilin'. Page pulls himself up and throws elbows. Off the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker. Stomp, elbowdrop to the inner thigh twixt the legs. Now standing him up in the corner and punching away - elbows - standing on his head - no, I mean with his foot! Flair shot into the opposite corner - and there's a back body drop when he comes out. Scoop - and a slam - off the ropes with a flourished elbowdrop. Flair out at 2. Headlock applied and Page going for the leverage. Second leverage attempt also escapes the steely gaze of "Blind" Charles Robinson.
6.2

1.7

The third one - works, too! Geez. Why'd he stop? Elbows dropped. Rights and lefts by Page. Page playing to the crowd - Flair with a chop (woooo!), Page punches, Flair chops, exchanging blows and now it's more Flair. There's a belly-to-back suplex! Flair with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine." Whip is reversed, Flair catches the boot, spins him around, ducks the discus punch and hits the chop - and there's a Golota for good measure. Figure four is on! 1, 2, no. Crowd boos which can only mean somebody's out. Yup, (THIS IS) STING - elbowdrop misses - figure four on Sting! Here's THE NARCISSIST and here's the bat. (DQ 5:54) Tripleteam is on - YOU KNOW WHO is out but for once, Hogan on his own isn't enough. Sting taking the bat to him. Flair (go figure) COVERS up Hogan so he won't get any more damage. Sting, Luger and Page walk off.

Pssst...this show was much, much better. I have to say that because I'm so biased, you see.

CRZ
[slash] wrestling

7.1

BLAH


Main

Copyright (C) 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications