Ohio Valley Wrestling by DrewDeuce
OVW for the week ended 12.01.2001
Last Week - A pathetic plea for attention was made, and it
was a clip show that explained all the controversy surrounding and
aspirations towards the OVW Heavyweight championship. Basically,
"The Machine" Doug Basham
is a jerk who used a mask to disguise his identity and gain an
undeserved title shot. On his way to the title, his
Revolution has injured
Trailer Park Trash,
Flash Flanagan, and even
Jim Cornette. For REVENGE,
Cornette said that as soon as he drops the title, OVW will drop him.
I actually got
letters: Thanks to Dave, Nate, Dr. Dave, & guruzim for
taking the time to send me an e-mail or post on the EZBoard and let me
know that somebody is at least reading. That's all I needed to keep
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET THE BODIES HIT THE . . . (OVW). We are in the Davis "arena" and James E. Cornette introduces Dean Hill and reminds us of the big match tonight and the deal with the devil that was made to secure it.
Triple Threat Match - Bull Buchanan vs. Trailer Park Trash, vs. Flash Flanagan.
All of these guys have been fighting over a shot at the
OVW heavyweight championship. Their interference has cost all of them
that shot at some point or another, so this should be a good match.
Winner: Bull Buchanan via pinfall at 7:22
David Flair vs. Val Venis.
There are actually a few boos for Val as he enters. He must have
slapped gramma on the way in, or maybe David Flair is getting sympathy
heat before the match even starts because everyone knows this should
pretty much be a squash. Val gets on the mike and says the following:
"You know something (Hey Hyatte, wherever you are!), one thing is for
certain, Val Venis has become sick and tired of coming down here to see
a bunch of uneducated, smelly, greasy rednecks who don't know what a
dentist is. Val Venis has a goal in mind and that goal is to go back
to where he belongs, and that's to the top of the World Wrestling
Federation in New York where there are normal, educated, clean hygeined
people walking around. So the question remains, what's Big the
Valboski's goal? What's his plan? The plan is very simple. It occurs
to me that Val Venis watched Survivor Series and the following night,
Monday Night Raw when Ric Flair came out and announced that he owned
50% of the WWF. It also occurs to me that Vince McMahon does not like
the fact that Ric Flair owns 50% of the WWF. So the plan's very
simple. I'm gonna take YOU, David Flair, and I'm gonna beat the living
hell outta you, no I'm not just gonna pin you 1-2-3, I'm gonna destroy
you, and when I do, that will make Vince McMahon very happy and in my
book he will owe me a job." Some mat wrestling to start as David shows
off what he's been learning in OVW. The camera briefly cuts away to
show Nidia from Tough Enough sitting in the front row. Cornette states
that she's training at the OVW training facility, and that "Once again
the sins of the father have been visited upon the son" as David must
take a beating for his father's actions. David takes some control with
some kicks to the Big Valboski in the corner. Val sidesteps a charge
from Flair and throws him thru the ropes the floor. Val then takes him
head-first into the ringpost. A lifeless David Flair's carcass is
taken back to the ring for more punishment. Sidewalk slam, but David
manages to kick out at two. Many, many kicks to the head, that opens a
cut above Flair's eye (a thin forehead must run in the family).
Winner: Val Venis via pinfall at 5:58
Interview: Boland Services - "King" Kenny Boland, the Prototype, Crony and Mr. Black.
Footage is shown from the 11.17.01 show where Rico Constantino lost a loser-leave-OVW handicap match against the Prototype and Boland due to interference from the rest of Boland Services. Nobody wins a 4-on-1 match unless its Hogan, Undertaker, Austin, Rocky, and . . . that's about it I guess. We are treated (and I mean that) to the following:
Jim Cornette: It's flat out disgusting that Rico Constantino can no longer wrestle in OVW because of what you and this big buffoon did to him.
Prototype: Y'know (hey again Hyatte!) I think Darth Vader said it best
when he said "When last we met, Rico was the teacher and I was but the
student. Now I am the Master." (Now he's got all of us Star Wars geeks
pissed off at him too!!!) Let me ask you somethin' Jim Cornette.
JC: What's that?
PT: Do you like apples?
JC: I like apples
PT: Ha hah, well that's good, because Rico Constantino got his butt kicked out of OVW how do you like them apples? Ha hah, that's right, BS had finally cut loose the anchor that was holding us down, and we've finally gotten rid of all the dead weight. Well good riddance to bad rubbish, that's what I say, because now is the perfect time for the perfect man, the Prototype, the true role model of OVW and the man who will become the next OVW champion.
JC: Well, we've heard about the apples, let's talk to the worm. You must be happy about this.
Kenny Boland: I am a happy man, because not only have I proven what a
great, great manager I am, I've also proven that I'm great wrestler.
JC: You're retiring from wrestling?
KB: Jimmy Can'tcha hear?
KB: I'm gonna retire and focus all my energy on the training of the man with the perfect body.
JC: Oh, you're still gonna be a manager, you're just no longer gonna wrestle.
KB: OF course I'm gonna manage. I'm gonna manage the man with the
perfect body, the man with the ultimate mind, the man who is America's
true role model, and I'm gonna lead him to the greatness he deserves.
JC: Wait a minute, are you saying there's a new member of BS?
KB: Yes there's a new member of BS, this man is a former WCW tag team
champion, the man has a body like a greek god, and the man wants an
opportunity to prove how great he is. All he needs Jimmy is great
management, and I am that management and I introduce to you SEAN
Me: BOO F'N YAH!
KB: Jimmy, you like scoops (who didn't? Oh, you just went there for Hyatte? me too) and you like bombshells, so I'm dropping one on you right now, not only is he gonna make sure that the Prototype gets a fair shake in all his matches, he is now the new head of Security for BS! (Current head of Security, Mr. Black throws his hat down in disgust and gets in Boland's face) Calm down, calm down, you can learn a lot from this man.
Sean O'Haire: Kenny Boland, you already know this, but let me tell YOU something, I take my job VERY seriously. (Cornette stands there and you can tell that O'Haire wasn't supposed to pause in what he was saying. The only part of this guy's game that needs improvement IMHO) VERY serious. Now to get to the Prototype, you have to go thru Sean O'Haire and just remember something, it's a lot easier to get on than it is to get off! (That line sucked a little more upon repeated viewings, but hey, the man kicks ass so who cares).
JC: Looks like you've got some problems here. (Mr. Black has been throwing a fit and has been consoled by Prototype and Crony).
Mr. Black: Hold on, hold on, I've got seniority here.
KB: I know you've got seniority, but you're not out of the picture, you're now gonna be First deputy to Sean O'Haire. He's got a job, he's not through and take a look at this talent I've put together 'cuz I am a GOLDEN GOD!!! (Boland chokes as he barks the last part for comedic effect)
Interview - Shelton Benjamin
Footage again is shown from the 11.17.01 show where
took an old-school fireball to the face from Syn that cost the
Crew the OVW tag team titles to the
Syn. He has some retinal damage that will require laser
surgery so he's on the shelf (the WWF one) for the time being. His
tag-team partner, Shelton Benjamin is heading to South Carolina to deal
with a family emergency but pre-taped comments before leaving (It took
me 45 mins to transcribe that last bit so I'm breezin' thru this one.
"Who's Your Daddy" Steve Bradley vs. "The World's Strongest Man, Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry.
Bradley tries a pearl harbour on Henry, but Mark was
ready for it. Henry controls early with some power moves, but Bradley
comes back and works Henry's right leg. Cornette says that as a result
of the Triangle match, Bull Buchanan is the #1 contender for the OVW
championship, and that as a result of the beating he took earlier,
David Flair is receiving medical attention.
No contest: Interference at
When we come back from break, Mark Henry has joined Cornette and Hill at the announcer's position. Cornette pleads for Henry to keep it clean because they're on tv. He wants D'Lo tied to him, "like my skin is tied to my body." He says he'll beat the black off D'Lo's body too. I guess we're getting a strap match next week.
Interview - OVW Tag-Team Champions, The Suicide Blondes. Jason Lee and Derek King with Sistah Sharmel (Sullivan).
They've got the Disciples of Syn next week and Jason Lee could care less. He's confident that they'll win the match and he wants Derek psyched up, so he's gonna ask him a few questions:
Lee: Are we the best?
Lee: Are we the champs?
Lee: And are we scared of the Disciples of Syn?
Sistah Sharmel slaps her cousin in the head as Lee saves face and says
they aren't scared of anybody. They'll win next week and remain
champs. Sistah Sharmel says if that if that "nasty, flea-bitten slut"
Syn gets involved "she'll take her stubby, yeast infected body and
snatch her hair out, and scratch her eyeballs." I'm totally limp in
anticipation of that "cat fight." Ugh. The match should be good tho.
OVW Heavyweight Championship: "The Machine" Doug Basham (w/Victoria) vs. Leviathan (w/Syn).
Leviathan jumps over the ropes into the ring so Basham,
then Victoria bail. Leviathan looks to be in a pissed off mood.
Winner and NEW OVW CHAMPION: Leviathan via pinfall at 7:54
I didn't expect that at all. Wow. Cornette declares
the Revolution over. The Disciples of Syn come out with Connie Swayle
and some champagne to celebrate as Cornette has an announce orgasm.
Stuff nobody cares
about: I almost didn't get tonight's show taped. I
have one of those fiber-optic cable dealies and it was out from about 9
a.m. to 6 p.m. last night. I set the VCR and my wife and I went to
dinner. Before heading over for karaoke, I stopped back by the house
to make sure there were no problems. If I hadn't I would have had
picture and no sound since sometimes when you switch channels, the
sound doesn't come with it. When they were doing whatever, the sound
went and I had to flip a channel back to get it to come back on.
Thanks for reading.