Last Week - A pathetic plea for attention was made, and it was a clip show that explained all the controversy surrounding and aspirations towards the OVW Heavyweight championship. Basically, "The Machine" Doug Basham is a jerk who used a mask to disguise his identity and gain an undeserved title shot. On his way to the title, his Revolution has injured Trailer Park Trash, Flash Flanagan, and even Jim Cornette. For REVENGE, Cornette said that as soon as he drops the title, OVW will drop him.
He imported the Big Show, Val Venis, and Bull Buchanan from the WWF, but they were unable to get the job done. Everyone in OVW had their shot, except one, Leviathan, the Demon of the Deep and the Guardian of the gates of HELL. To make that match happen, Cornette had to promise Leviathan's manager Syn, an unspecified favour at some undetermined date. That match will be TONIGHT!

I actually got letters: Thanks to Dave, Nate, Dr. Dave, & guruzim for taking the time to send me an e-mail or post on the EZBoard and let me know that somebody is at least reading. That's all I needed to keep going.

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET THE BODIES HIT THE . . . (OVW). We are in the Davis "arena" and James E. Cornette introduces Dean Hill and reminds us of the big match tonight and the deal with the devil that was made to secure it.

Triple Threat Match - Bull Buchanan vs. Trailer Park Trash, vs. Flash Flanagan.

All of these guys have been fighting over a shot at the OVW heavyweight championship. Their interference has cost all of them that shot at some point or another, so this should be a good match.
Bull and TPT lock up before "The Man Who Loves to Steal the Show" has even shown up. Flash does, but is quickly dumped by Bull and TPT who continue to beat the living hell out of each other. You might have seen Flash wrestle some Jakked matches, but to give you a visual, he kind of looks like he could be Barry Windham's little brother (I didn't think Kendall looked anything like him, maybe it was the shaved head) and TPT looks like the Dirty White Boy (Or T.L. Hopper for those non-CWA, USWA, SMW fans) but with short, dark hair and tighty-whities coming out of the top of his ripped jeans in the back. Bull punches TPT in the corner and whips him into Flash who was standing on the apron and trying to get back in the ring. Bulls spinning double hammer throw misses and TPT gets a DDT, but can't cover because Flash is back in and pulls him off Bull. Bull is dumped and Flash works on Trash.
Bull comes back in and blocks TPT's powerbomb attempt on Flash. Now Trash is dumped (huh huh) and Bull and Flash go at it. Flash dumps Bull and Trash pounds him outside the ring. Flash jumps over the top rope (plancha?) onto both of them. Back in the ring, Flash gets a springboard legdrop on Trash but Bull gets the non-yodeling legdrop on him. Trash gets up and prevents a cover by Bull. Trash gets Flash's whiplash and then Bull gives Flash the big boot so HE can cover Trash.
Trash is eliminated, so it's down to Bull and Flash. Cornette says they've got plenty of tv time, and if this match goes all night, they'll carry it. Bull still in control and gets a lateral press on Flash for a two count. Flash gets control back with a big kick as Bull charges (huh huh) him in the corner. Whiplash (Flash jumps off the ropes, flipping in the air, and does a neck-breaker type move to bring his opponent down) off the second rope, but he can't cover Bull properly due to exhaustion, so Bull gets his shoulder up at 2.9. Flash is pissed. Flash goes to the top rope now and does a 2nd Whiplash on Bull, but gets up before a count can be made because TPT was back out and up on the apron. Trash chokes Flash on the top rope and Bull recovers to perform the spinning hammer on Flash for the win.

Winner: Bull Buchanan via pinfall at 7:22

David Flair vs. Val Venis.

There are actually a few boos for Val as he enters. He must have slapped gramma on the way in, or maybe David Flair is getting sympathy heat before the match even starts because everyone knows this should pretty much be a squash. Val gets on the mike and says the following: "You know something (Hey Hyatte, wherever you are!), one thing is for certain, Val Venis has become sick and tired of coming down here to see a bunch of uneducated, smelly, greasy rednecks who don't know what a dentist is. Val Venis has a goal in mind and that goal is to go back to where he belongs, and that's to the top of the World Wrestling Federation in New York where there are normal, educated, clean hygeined people walking around. So the question remains, what's Big the Valboski's goal? What's his plan? The plan is very simple. It occurs to me that Val Venis watched Survivor Series and the following night, Monday Night Raw when Ric Flair came out and announced that he owned 50% of the WWF. It also occurs to me that Vince McMahon does not like the fact that Ric Flair owns 50% of the WWF. So the plan's very simple. I'm gonna take YOU, David Flair, and I'm gonna beat the living hell outta you, no I'm not just gonna pin you 1-2-3, I'm gonna destroy you, and when I do, that will make Vince McMahon very happy and in my book he will owe me a job." Some mat wrestling to start as David shows off what he's been learning in OVW. The camera briefly cuts away to show Nidia from Tough Enough sitting in the front row. Cornette states that she's training at the OVW training facility, and that "Once again the sins of the father have been visited upon the son" as David must take a beating for his father's actions. David takes some control with some kicks to the Big Valboski in the corner. Val sidesteps a charge from Flair and throws him thru the ropes the floor. Val then takes him head-first into the ringpost. A lifeless David Flair's carcass is taken back to the ring for more punishment. Sidewalk slam, but David manages to kick out at two. Many, many kicks to the head, that opens a cut above Flair's eye (a thin forehead must run in the family).
Cornette and Hill sell the fact that David comes to the OVW training facility every day to train and wants no special treatment as he trains to become the best wrestler he can be. He is improving, but still needs to hit the weights and bulk up a bit says the out of shape man sitting at his computer. Steiner Recliner by Val and the fans get behind Flair. Val puts more beats to Flair, but David answers with a few rights of his own. Val rakes the eyes and the cut, but can't take control. David puts Val in a short-arm scissors to tries and gain a submission win but Val finally makes the ropes. Flair refuses to break the hold until the referee forces it. Val gets up and puts in a few more kicks and a few elbows to boot. Flair is laid out in the middle of the ring, and the money shot finishes it. Val lays the badmouth post-match and David will hear none of it. They get into a fist-fight and David takes the worst of it. "H2O" Rob Waterman, "Mr. Wrestling" Nick Dinsmore, and "Ironman" Rob Conway come out to hold Val back from administering any more punishment. Flair keeps trying to get to his feet, but is disoriented. As soon as he does, he makes the "bring it on" hand motion and falls to his knees again. This continues for a minute or so until Val decides he's proven his point, and leaves.

Winner: Val Venis via pinfall at 5:58

Interview: Boland Services - "King" Kenny Boland, the Prototype, Crony and Mr. Black.

Footage is shown from the 11.17.01 show where Rico Constantino lost a loser-leave-OVW handicap match against the Prototype and Boland due to interference from the rest of Boland Services. Nobody wins a 4-on-1 match unless its Hogan, Undertaker, Austin, Rocky, and . . . that's about it I guess. We are treated (and I mean that) to the following:

Jim Cornette: It's flat out disgusting that Rico Constantino can no longer wrestle in OVW because of what you and this big buffoon did to him.

Prototype: Y'know (hey again Hyatte!) I think Darth Vader said it best when he said "When last we met, Rico was the teacher and I was but the student. Now I am the Master." (Now he's got all of us Star Wars geeks pissed off at him too!!!) Let me ask you somethin' Jim Cornette.

JC: What's that?

PT: Do you like apples?

JC: I like apples

PT: Ha hah, well that's good, because Rico Constantino got his butt kicked out of OVW how do you like them apples? Ha hah, that's right, BS had finally cut loose the anchor that was holding us down, and we've finally gotten rid of all the dead weight. Well good riddance to bad rubbish, that's what I say, because now is the perfect time for the perfect man, the Prototype, the true role model of OVW and the man who will become the next OVW champion.

JC: Well, we've heard about the apples, let's talk to the worm. You must be happy about this.

Kenny Boland: I am a happy man, because not only have I proven what a great, great manager I am, I've also proven that I'm great wrestler.
Hell, I beat Rico Constantino fair and square right here in the middle of the ring. But enough about how great I am, because I am retiring from professional wrestling right here tonight. I'm retiring from wrestling and I'm gonna focus all my

JC: You're retiring from wrestling?

KB: Jimmy Can'tcha hear?

JC: Completely?

KB: I'm gonna retire and focus all my energy on the training of the man with the perfect body.

JC: Oh, you're still gonna be a manager, you're just no longer gonna wrestle.

KB: OF course I'm gonna manage. I'm gonna manage the man with the perfect body, the man with the ultimate mind, the man who is America's true role model, and I'm gonna lead him to the greatness he deserves.
I'm a little shocked at you as a matter of fact. You talk to Syn about Leviathan when you had the man who could beat him right here. I'm not gonna complain tho, because things are great for BS. You know, greatness breeds jealousy and there's gonna be a lot of guys in the back trying to get him, so now with Rico gone I've got a roster spot open in BS, and I've got a little Security Policy you might say to make sure this man gets a fair shot.

JC: Wait a minute, are you saying there's a new member of BS?

KB: Yes there's a new member of BS, this man is a former WCW tag team champion, the man has a body like a greek god, and the man wants an opportunity to prove how great he is. All he needs Jimmy is great management, and I am that management and I introduce to you SEAN O'HAIRE~!.

Me: BOO F'N YAH!

KB: Jimmy, you like scoops (who didn't? Oh, you just went there for Hyatte? me too) and you like bombshells, so I'm dropping one on you right now, not only is he gonna make sure that the Prototype gets a fair shake in all his matches, he is now the new head of Security for BS! (Current head of Security, Mr. Black throws his hat down in disgust and gets in Boland's face) Calm down, calm down, you can learn a lot from this man.

Sean O'Haire: Kenny Boland, you already know this, but let me tell YOU something, I take my job VERY seriously. (Cornette stands there and you can tell that O'Haire wasn't supposed to pause in what he was saying. The only part of this guy's game that needs improvement IMHO) VERY serious. Now to get to the Prototype, you have to go thru Sean O'Haire and just remember something, it's a lot easier to get on than it is to get off! (That line sucked a little more upon repeated viewings, but hey, the man kicks ass so who cares).

JC: Looks like you've got some problems here. (Mr. Black has been throwing a fit and has been consoled by Prototype and Crony).

Mr. Black: Hold on, hold on, I've got seniority here.

KB: I know you've got seniority, but you're not out of the picture, you're now gonna be First deputy to Sean O'Haire. He's got a job, he's not through and take a look at this talent I've put together 'cuz I am a GOLDEN GOD!!! (Boland chokes as he barks the last part for comedic effect)

Interview - Shelton Benjamin

Footage again is shown from the 11.17.01 show where Brock Lesnar took an old-school fireball to the face from Syn that cost the Minnesota Stretching Crew the OVW tag team titles to the Disciples of Syn. He has some retinal damage that will require laser surgery so he's on the shelf (the WWF one) for the time being. His tag-team partner, Shelton Benjamin is heading to South Carolina to deal with a family emergency but pre-taped comments before leaving (It took me 45 mins to transcribe that last bit so I'm breezin' thru this one.
Hey, I never claimed to be half the man CRZ is). When Shelton was injured a few months back, Brock sat out as a show of respect for Shelton, so Cornette wants to know what Shelton will do now that the situations have been reversed. Shelton says "Hell no" he wont' sit out, because he was injured training with Brock, and this is a totally different situation. Brock was attacked by the Disciples of Syn and they had every intention to hurt him, and he has every intention of making them pay for it. Cornette asks if this means Shelton will take a new tag-team partner in the interim. Shelton doesn't know, but the Disciples will be the first to find out. He says that once that problem is dealt with, he'll deal with another problem, one he has with Jim Cornette for making a deal with Syn ("the bitch who burned his partner") so Leviathan could get a title shot. Cornette tries to assuage Shelton's anger, but he leaves the set and Cornette to ponder how his (selfish?) actions have hurt others he cares about. Man, this is good stuff! I thought Shelton would make a heel turn there or something, and they totally went in the better direction. Excellent, and Sean O'Haire's in town!!!

"Who's Your Daddy" Steve Bradley vs. "The World's Strongest Man, Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry.

Bradley tries a pearl harbour on Henry, but Mark was ready for it. Henry controls early with some power moves, but Bradley comes back and works Henry's right leg. Cornette says that as a result of the Triangle match, Bull Buchanan is the #1 contender for the OVW championship, and that as a result of the beating he took earlier, David Flair is receiving medical attention.
D'Lo Brown comes out to the announce position and talks trash. He says he can whip Mark Henry's ass, 24/7. Cornette rags him out for walking out on their match a few weeks ago, rather than taking his beating like a man. Bradley tries a leg drop off the top rope, but Mark catches him in midair and powerslams 'im. Only gets two, but the rest doesn't matter, because D'Lo decides against going back to the locker room and makes the run-in and whips Henry with his belt.

No contest: Interference at 2:21

When we come back from break, Mark Henry has joined Cornette and Hill at the announcer's position. Cornette pleads for Henry to keep it clean because they're on tv. He wants D'Lo tied to him, "like my skin is tied to my body." He says he'll beat the black off D'Lo's body too. I guess we're getting a strap match next week.

Interview - OVW Tag-Team Champions, The Suicide Blondes. Jason Lee and Derek King with Sistah Sharmel (Sullivan).

They've got the Disciples of Syn next week and Jason Lee could care less. He's confident that they'll win the match and he wants Derek psyched up, so he's gonna ask him a few questions:

Lee: Are we the best?

King: Yes!

Lee: Are we the champs?

King: Yes!

Lee: And are we scared of the Disciples of Syn?

King: Yes!

Sistah Sharmel slaps her cousin in the head as Lee saves face and says they aren't scared of anybody. They'll win next week and remain champs. Sistah Sharmel says if that if that "nasty, flea-bitten slut" Syn gets involved "she'll take her stubby, yeast infected body and snatch her hair out, and scratch her eyeballs." I'm totally limp in anticipation of that "cat fight." Ugh. The match should be good tho.
Funny bit as Jason Lee grabs the microphone back to say something else (looking off camera for a cue perhaps?) and the tape cuts off. We go straight to:

OVW Heavyweight Championship: "The Machine" Doug Basham (w/Victoria) vs. Leviathan (w/Syn).

Leviathan jumps over the ropes into the ring so Basham, then Victoria bail. Leviathan looks to be in a pissed off mood.
Cornette is in all his glory predicting that after four months, THIS is the match where Machine looses the title. He screams to Basham that this is his VENGEANCE! I'm suspecting a screwy ending now. Leviathan grabs Basham and pounds him, so he bails again. More stalling, but finally Leviathan is able to grab him and whip him into the corner.
Leviathan no-sells all of Basham's offense and goes for a powerbomb, but he's channeling Kidman as Victoria reaches thru the ropes and grabs his legs so Leviathan can't get him up. Machine whipped into the corner and Leviathan puts the boots to 'im. Leviathan rips the loaded S&M mask right off his face! He chokes and whips him to the ringpost.
Spear misses as Basham squirts out of the ring and now he finally takes control. He works the injured shoulder but Leviathan is still able to pick him up (with one arm, mind you) and slam 'im. Leviathan goes for a DDT but his shoulder is still hurt, which allows Basham to reverse and whip the arm in a DDT-type move on just his arm. Ouch. Basham kicks him down and blows the snot rocket on the Demon before going to the top rope. Leviathan recovers and spinebusters the Machine, but he kicks out at two. Leviathan is selling the arm injury great. Basham goes to the corner and is given some powder by Victoria. It ends up in the ref's face as Leviathan powerbombs Basham for the apparent three count (forgot about the shoulder injury momentarily. Guess he had a lot of adrenaline pumping or something). This brings out another ref and the rest of the Revolution (Big Bad John and Johnny Spade). Leviathan takes them out as Basham pulls some knucks out of his leather pants and pops Leviathan one in the mush.
Only gets two. Leviathan gets up and whips Basham back into the ropes. Another powerbomb attempt is blocked by a ballshot from Victoria. She picks up Basham and puts his arm over Leviathan (This chick is legit strong), which brings in Syn and ignites the nightmare that will be running thru my dreams for a little bit. This is a catfight between a (vicious but nasty) tabby and a cheetah. Syn pulls Victoria's hair as they go out of the ring and gives us a shot of Syn's (thankfully) black panties under her leather skirt. Of course, she's wearing the thigh highs this week to, just to burn it into my brain even more. Basham recovers first and tries to put the beats to the Demon. Whip to the turnbuckle, but Leviathan only comes out and spears him in the middle of the ring! Powerbomb on Machine and both refs (Briscoe and Ramsey) stereo count the pinfall.

Winner and NEW OVW CHAMPION: Leviathan via pinfall at 7:54

I didn't expect that at all. Wow. Cornette declares the Revolution over. The Disciples of Syn come out with Connie Swayle and some champagne to celebrate as Cornette has an announce orgasm.

Conclusion:
DAMN! That was a HOT show!! Some great in-ring action and some hot interviews this week. Plus, some angles set up for down the road with Cornette showing that he'll make deals with whomever he thinks will best get the job done. Some good subtle things going on with that methinks. We'll see if it pans out eventually. Have to come back next week to see Basham get fired, I guess. I expect he'll still be around in some capacity, or maybe he's going over to Heartland. Again, gotta watch next week to find out. Cable company willing, I'll be there, which leads to:

Stuff nobody cares about: I almost didn't get tonight's show taped. I have one of those fiber-optic cable dealies and it was out from about 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. last night. I set the VCR and my wife and I went to dinner. Before heading over for karaoke, I stopped back by the house to make sure there were no problems. If I hadn't I would have had picture and no sound since sometimes when you switch channels, the sound doesn't come with it. When they were doing whatever, the sound went and I had to flip a channel back to get it to come back on.
Short-story long, Insight sucks. I have only 5 channels right now and Fox with it's NFL doubleheader today isn't one of them. Feel my pain. I'm in first place in fantasy league, but playing the last team that beat me today. Hopefully, the Seahawks can pull one out too.

Thanks for reading.