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/22 May 2000





Owen Hart died a year ago Tuesday.

It still hurts.

I want to say more...but I find that that's all I CAN say.

QUICK QUOTE: WWFE 17 1/8 (- 3/8)

TONIGHT: It's the night after the Most Controversial Night Ever! A new champ - and a shocking return. No, we WON'T tell you what's next - you'll just have to wait ten minutes and learn with the rest of us!




TV-14-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!

Close captioned is the show with these opening credits

Ahhhhh! SCARY PYRO welcomes us to the Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, IN 22.5.2K where tonight on the USA Network, and maybe TSN, (a BIG VIS sign?!?) RAW is WAR!

And, look! Why, it's BILLIONAIRE VINCE come out to get this party started right/quickly. He's in a jovial mood as Rock ain't the champ no mo'. So much controversy over the timing and the job done by the special ref! But first, this from Vince. "Ahh, yes - Judgment Day. Judgment Day is supposed to be a day in which the world as we know it comes to an end, and certainly, that was the case for a number of WWF superstars last Sunday night. Judgement day is supposed to be a day in which we, as human beings, are judged by the way we live our lives...and either rewarded or punished. Well... ["ass hole" - Ross actually SAYS "asshole" and doesn't get bleeped - what is this, South Park?] ...based upon the results of Judgment Day, it's clear to see that we in the McMahon-Hemlsley Faction, with DX, we must be living our lives correctly, because, indeed, we were very justly a matter of fact, so much so that after the festivities were over, we rewarded outselves - at one of the most lavish parties I have personally ever thrown, which is why I don't look my normal immaculate, GQ cover quality self tonight, but then again, neither will any other of my family members, neither will X-Pac or Road Dogg when they get here, and I promise you, they're a little late but they will be here tonight in Indianapolis! However, X-Pac and Road Dogg set the table, so to speak, for the Dudley Boyz, and beat the Dudley Boyz at their very own game, and son Shane! My son Shane, who came from my loins, my son Shane SINGLEHANDEDLY defeated the strongest, the largest athlete in the world today - the Big Show - pinned his shoulders down - 1, 2, 3! And son-in-law Triple H - I don't believe I've ever been any more proud - I've never been any more proud of a family member than I was of Triple H alst night. At Judgment Day, Triple H singlehandedly, one on one, proved why he is The Game. Triple H defeated the Rock, even though the Rock obviously attempted to employ the services of the Undertaker...even though the Rock cheated, it seems as though he must have needed help from the Undertaker, even against those odds, Triple H became the World Wrestling Federation champion! And as far as the Undertaker is concerned, it's been nice without the Undertaker - he walked out on his contract some time ago, and in fact, if Undertaker shows his face here tonight...the Undertaker is not legally under contract, since he walked out; therefore I have marshalls waiting to arrest the Undertaker should he show up here tonight. Now then, as far as the Rock is concerned...I'm not so sure that the Rock will show up here tonight, bruised ego and all, I don't know if Rock is big enough of a man to be able to swallow his pride and show up a defeated man before you this evening, but should the Rock show up, tonight would be a good night to go one on one - Vince McMahon versus the Rock here In This Ring....but that's not what's gonna happen. You see, what is going to happen here tonight, should the Rock show up, is the Rock will be facing Road Dogg...X-Pac...Shane McMahon...and the WWF Champion, Triple H...all in one match - four on one. In This Very Ring. And all I can say is, that at Judgment Day, we took the World Wrestling Federation Championship from the Rock - tonight, here in Indianapolis, we will simply take...what's...left."

Your hosts are a pair of kings - LARRY KING and JERRY LAWLER. They briefly run over the "controversial" ending of the Iron Man match.

Here's some stills of what they're talking about. Did Shawn see Undertaker interfere just before the time expired...or not? Ross thinks Michaels saw the chokeslam (before the time limit expired), while Lawler thinks Michaels MISSED the chokeslam, and DQ'd him from seeing the tombstone (after the time limit expired, and therefore too late to count).

Backstage, we watch Vince - WALKING! - I mean, we watch him strut. But, behind him is the Rock! A sneak attack and big-time beatdown ensue, featuring repeated runnings of Vince's head into various metallic objects. Garage door several times, cookie sheet - Vince begs off - Rock relents on the trashcan lid...but uses the trashcan proper, instead. Vince thrown onto the trunk of his limo - and now INTO his limo - "you get this asshole outta here!" Vince's head pops out of the window "you son of a son of a bitch, you dare do this to me?" Rock goes ahead and pops him one with the trashcan lid...and the limo speeds away...

"For one hour..." somebody edited together this encore presentation promo

Conseco Fieldhouse exterior shot

Moments Ago...You Know



Back live, Rock paces around the parking lot...apparently waiting for the rest of the Faction to show.

T&A (with Trish Stratus - the fitness model) v. HARDY BOYZ - WE ARE VERY LUCKY!! Trish SPEAKS - tonight! "It's come to my attention, that all you little girls just love those Hardy Boyz. I mean, how could you not with their crazy rainbow hair, and their high-flying moves? You gotta love them, don't you? Heh - well, I don't. So tonight, those boyz will face my men - and when I'm through with them, we'll see, exactly, how - HARD - they really are." Yep, she's still a laugher on the stick. Oh sorry, I mean, WOW! SHE'S PRETTY!! Hardyz attack from behind - shouldn't turn your backs! Double stompdown on Test - double punchfest on Albert - into the ropes, double back elbow, senton/fistdrop combo. Albert rolls out and Matt goes to his corner as Test gets the advantage on Jeff with a big boot. Right, kick, right, kick, right, right, into the opposite corner, charges but Hardy drop toeholds him into the bottom turnbuckle. Tag to Matt - "we want puppies" - double leg takedown, hodling him for the stereo legdrop spot for 2. Punch, whip into the ropes is reversed, Stratus holds the ankle, distracting him long enough for Albert to run the apron and clothesline him. Test having a chat with referee "Blind" Mike Chioda, who misses all this somehow. Double 360 flapjack. Albert pounds on Hardy as if they'd made the tag - shoulderblock off the ropes. Subway brings us the Double Feature. Powerbomb attempt is countered and Matt drops down, gutshot, Twist of Fate attempt is blocked as Albert runs him into the corner. Followup charge is blocked with a bodyscissors - Albert pulls him out - GIANT SWING! FOUR ROTATIONS! Albert's dizzy but manages to make the tag. Running clothesline by Test. Tag to Albert. Into the ropes, they try for the double tilt-a-whirl again but Hardy manages to land on his feet, off the ropes, duck, double DDT! Hardy reaches for the tag - and makes it! Jeff comes in with a corkscrew moonsault that, depending on how charitable you are, hits either both or neither man. Albert dropkicked out of the ring. Test into the ropes, reversed, baseball slide onto Albert by Jeff, Matt backdrops Test over the ropes on the other side. Horrendously bad tope by Matt still connects. Right, right, right, Stratus over - block! Matt shoves her down! Stratus, pissed, shoves Matt into the steps and ringpost. Back in the ring, Jeff put in the corner, charge ducked and Albert posts himself. Jeff to the top - swanton bomb hits, but Test is climbing the ropes - when Jeff covers, Test hits his elbowdrop from the top and puts Albert on top. Chioda finally stops staring at Trish's tush and makes the count - 1, 2, 3. (3:56)

Hey, look! Rock hasn't moved much!

Chyna's back on the one-hour season finale of "3rd Rock from the Sun" - hooray!

In the front row are Indy drivers ROBBIE BUHL, BILLY BOAT and EDDIE CHEEVER JR. Hey you know A.J. Foyt is like an Indy MAFIA dude - did you see him slide Boat in at the very last minute on Bubble Day? Whoa. I'm tellin' ya! And how white am *I* to have been watching THAT instead of the Lakers/Blazers game?

EDDIE GUERRERO (with That Slut Chyna) v. D'LO BROWN for the European Championship - Champ enters first because tradition is for recappers. Hey, who IS that guy? He looks familiar. Can we call Brown "Peanut Head II?" Feeling out process - lockup, arm wringer by Brown, Eddie flips out and reverses into one of his own. Side headlock by Brown, Guerrero powers out, off the ropes, shoulderblock by Brown. Off the ropes, up and over, leapfrog by Guerrero, up and over, caught with a side kick by Brown. "What's up with that?" You tell me, D'Lo. Right hand, into the ropes, big sidewalk slam. Ross hypes an upcoming interview with Shawn Michaels. Scoop - and a slam by Brown. Going up - springs onto the second rope from the apron - moonsault MISSES. Guerrero strikes - right, right. "Who sucks now?" Elbow. Into the ropes is reversed, Guerrero put up but he dropkicks Brown while he's up there. Into the corner - charge - Brown dumps him over his head and into snake eyes. Sky-Hi! But here's THA GODFATHA and his harem appearing on the runway. Brown is distracted just long enough for Guerrero to surprise him with a 'rana and a deep cover (mit hooked leg) for the 1, 2, 3. (2:26) Godfather hits the ring, absorbs a few punches, reverses a whip to put Brown in the corner, hits the Ho Train splash AND the Pimp Drop, so hey, let's play HIS music! Godfather and the ladies dance on the aisle...

Meanwhile, a limousine arrives in the parking lot.



Gerald Brisco meets and greets Dogg, X-Pac and Tori, but they're not really paying attention to what he's saying - so it comes as no surprise that Rock gets the jump on them with the help of the ubiquitous slab of lead. Damn, X-Pac takes it RIGHT in the kisser! Tori runs off, while Road Dogg and X-Pac end up laying in a truck, whose door slowly closes as we leave the segment...hey, didn't I see Triple H do this to Kane back on 16 March on SmackDown! And what's with that strange looking light trained on the truck that we see in this shot?

Moments Ago...and another thing! Why call it a "pipe" when it's clearly solid? And am I just bitching because this is WCW? Whaa? This ISN'T WCW? Holy cow, WHERE'S MY BIAS NOW?!?

KURT ANGLE & EDGE & CHRISTIAN v. RIKISHI & TOO COOL - Apparently, Rock has jimmied the lock of the truck and we won't see the DX folk for a great while - if at all. Angle is wearing a Reggie Miller jersey, while Christian dons the Indiana jersey. "Your Olympic Hero has only one thing to say tonight - the New York Knicks are going down!" Biggest pop of the night - huh? "The New York Knicks are going down in the NBA Finals after they defeat the Indiana Pacers - it's true, it's true!" Ohh. "Greetings, inhabitants of Indianapolis! You know, Indiana is SO known for two things - it's rich, storied basketball history - and of course...choking! Whether it's Bob Knight choking his players or (as the past has proven) the Pacers choking in the playoffs!" "So, therefore, we have decided to embrace Indiana tradition. So, for the benefit of those with flash photography, we have a brand new pose - just for you. For five seconds only, we call this one - 'the Big Choke.'" Edge removes his trenchcoat to reveal a familiar red sweater - he blows his whistle and wrings Christian's neck, while Angle falls to his knees and chokes himself. Now that we've established the heeldom on this side, let's bring out that other side! The good guys barely get halfway down the ramp before they get rushed. It's a Pier Six out on the runway - Christian and Rikishi hit the ring first, right, right from Christian, whip is reversed, Samoan Drop. Angle rolled in - right, right, face rake by Angle, bodyslam attempt fails, Rikishi has no trouble with him. Into the corner - PHAT ASS SPLASH! Edge hits the ring - then decides to beg off. Too Cool up from behind - double atomic drop! Double gutshot, double DDT. Edge into the corner - Hotty ass splash, Sexay ass splash - Edge slumps down - must be time for the ol' stinkyface. Too Cool clothesline Edge out of the ring as Rikishi puts Angle out and follows. Christian charges but falls into a double flapjack. Hotty stomps on Christian, then snap suplexes him while Sexay gets into position for a top rope move. Angle reverses Rikishi into the STEEL steps. Hip hop drop! 1, 2, Angle pulls Sexay off of him, but while he's working the facelock, Hotty comes up from behind with the bulldog! Hotty makes the face - looks like he's gonna do it...but the crowd only get to "R" before Edge is up and waffling him with the tag belt. Sexay over to deal with him on the outside, while Angle sneaks over and cradles Hotty with a 3/4 nelson. 1, 2, 3. Why'd they give this event for free one night after the PPV? Apparently, so the heels could get the win back... (2:50)

Hey, look - the Rock is still on this show

And now, the FRAM trap of the week! From Judgment Day last night, a reprise of the "sparkin' amplifier box" gimmick that apparently didn't seem stupid enough when Mankind did it - this time Shane shoves it onto Big Show's leg - "crushing" it.



Linda McMahon and Kane are on the cover of Business Week! Now's the time to invest the college fund!

And now, ANOTHER limousine arrives - Shane McMahon exits...and HE doesn't listen to Gerald Brisco, either! I'll give 'em credit, though - it isn't the same limo (yeah, I checked. I'm a loser)

Another look at our hosts.

SKIPPY immediately heads to the ring to have a few words with all of us out here in television land. Shane's got his own chokeslam motion! "Eeny, meeny, miney, mo / Who's afraid of the Big Bad Show? / Obviously, it's not me so...I don't know / I guess the only question left to answer would be 'Which way did he go?'" "Shane's a pussy!" "No, you know what, after last night I now take exception to that very comment you're chanting! You see, because last night on Judgment Day it was a wonderful day. Matter of fact, I put together a wonderful pictorial to share with all of you my joy, so if we could throw that up on the TitanTron, I appreciate that. Yes, there I am, flying through the air as happy as could be / taking on a guy - obviously, who doesn't like me. / Good thing that there was a five hundred pound lighting box which I quickly tipped over and crushed the Big Show's knee / All there was left to do was hit the Show in the head with a cinder block and cover for the one, two, three. / So that was the end of our little dance / as the Big Show - heh, heh, heh - took a ride in the waaaaaaaaah-mbulance! Ah ha ha! Waaah!" "Shane's a pussy!" "No, I think not. No, I think not - matter of fact, I would like you all to refer to me now as Shane...THE GIANT KILLER, yes that's much better! And if Big Show was to somehow miraculously walk down that ramp and get into this ring, history would repeat itself, 'cause you can also call me the King of Sting. Wooooooo!" Shane's music is quickly cut off by that of LA ROCA, who strides to the ring as Shane says "Hey, this has nothing to do with me and you...come in the ring, and...we can celebrate, we--" and a right quickly puts a stop to that. We're outside, we're over the barricade, we're through a tunnel and disappeared...

Moments Ago - say, exactly how many people are watching something else and need these replays? This show is unopposed on the east coast and we all know they don't CARE about the west coast! What's with all the replays already?

Why don't we just call him BIG SEXY while we're at it? Har har har. Sheesh.

CHRIS BENOIT v. BALD VENIS for the Intercontinental Championship - champion enters first because he can. This show is brought to you by Reebok Blacktop available at Foot Locker, Dr Pepper, and Chef Boyardee! Lockup, to the ropes, Benoit chops, chop, chop, knee from Venis, they switch places, chop, chop, chop, into the ropes, Benoit rolls under the knee, gutshot by Venis, into the ropes, back elbow, cover, 2. In the corner, right, right, right, kick, into the opposite corner, Benoit tries to reverse, but Venis kicks him again, completes the whip into the corner, backdrop suplex as Benoit backs out, cover, 1. Venis with a right. Into the ropes, Benoit holds on and goes outside. Venis out and following - ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own. Benoit rolled back in. Venis with a right, right, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, stomp, standing on the throat - referee "Blind" Jim Korderas forces the break. Into the corner is reversed, and Venis hits HARD. Benoit kicks him (low?), snap suplex. Cover - 2. Benoit with a backdrop suplex. 1, 2, Venis escapes. Venis pulls Benoit through the ropes and to the outside - then follows. Clubbing blow to the back, chop, picks up Benoit and throats him on the barricade. Whip into the STEEL steps is reversed and Venis is probably sorry he started that. Benoit shakes his bad leg, stomps, and puts Venis hard into the barricade. Rolled back into the ring, Benoit follows. Benoit going to work - stomp, elbow, elbow, Venis chops back, kicks the back of the bad leg, again, Benoit with a drop toehold and Venis hits the bottom turnbuckle with his face. Into the ropes, head down, kick by Venis, into the corner, Benoit gets a foot up, running at Venis, but into a powerslam - both men are down. We ARE live on TSN!



Korderas gets to 4...5...both men up. Benoit right, Venis right, Benoit, Venis, Venis, Venis, Benoit goes down, back up, right, down, back up, right, down, off the ropes with a shoulderblock, elbowdrop, off the ropes with a kneedrop, cover, 1, 2, Benoit kicks out! Venis puts Benoit's head to the buckle - big beal across the ring - charging at Benoit and hitting the clothesline. Up for a backdrop, but down with a powerbomb! BLUE THUNDER!! 1, 2, NO!! Venis doublechecks the count - yup, 2. Double underhook by Venis - three knees - but Benoit stands fast - gets out and clotheslines him down. Benoit stomping on the head, another kick to the head - running the ropes but Venis catches him in a spinebuster. Venis to the outside - climbing to the top...Benoit pulls Korderas into the ropes, crotching Venis! Benoit slaps, scales to the top - SUPERPLEX!! Both men are down again. HARDCORE HOLLY is out - aww, fuck - got a chair - WHACK to Benoit - Well, that was a bit of a waste, wasn't it? (DQ 6:43) Holly's not playing favourites, apparently - he chairs *Venis* on his way out. Now the Y2J countdown hits and out comes CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO - but not where Holly's expecting him; rather, he's up from behind - WHACK! with a chair of his own. Play his music again! Replay of the first and last chair shots.

Gerald Brisco is doing his Rock impersonation - that's right, he's pacing around in the parking lot!

Kid Rock is coming - next Monday! He's an American badass! Or something!

THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ (with RAW Credits & TV-14-DLV ratings box) v. BIG BOSS MAN & BULL BUCHANAN - Buchanan and Buh-Buh Ray start. Lockup, no. "Boss Man Sux" chant is LOUD. Lockup, side headlock by Dudley - powering out off the ropes, shoulderblock by Dudley - oup and over, dueling hiptosses - Dudley ducks and hits a belly-to-back. Off the ropes, back body drop, off the ropes with a clothesline. Scoop slam as the crowd chants "table" - Boss Man in to distract referee "Blind" Teddy Long so D-Von can hit the "headbutt to the graun" spot. Following the "testify" dance, D-Von is back on Buchanan with a right, to the ropes but there's a blind tag - whip is reversed, D-Von up and over but into a big boot. Boss Man puts his head on the buckle, rights and lefts, "we want tables" chant, Dudley blocks, right, right, right, right, into the opposite corner is reversed, big splash from the Boss Man, uppercut puts him on the mat. Up, right, right, right, off the ropes, but Buchanan pulls the top rope and Dudley goes over. Double baseball slide right hand. Fake tag - Buchanan covers, Long turns around - only 2. Into the ropes, gutshot, off the ropes with the ("impressive") scissors kick. Scoop - and a slam. Blatant choke. Now digging his hands into the eyes, also for 4. Choke on the top rope WITH a face rake for 4. Buchanan knows it all! Tag to Boss Man - off the ropes, double shoulderblock. Boss Man stomping away on Dudley in peril D-Von. Crowd fires up "we want tables" while Boss Man kneelifts D-Von. Right, into the ropes, spinebuster. 1, 2, Buh-Buh Ray makes the save. Buchanan comes in and it's breaking down now - Buh-Buh Ray tossed over the top and they brawl on the outside while Boss Man continues to dominate D-Von. Into the ropes is reversed, whoops Buh-Buh Ray has snuck back in - must be time for...3D! 1, 2, 3! (5:08) Buchanan apparently hit the post on the outside, allowing Buh-Buh Ray to get back in.




Replay shows Boss Man wiping the mat with D-Von until a whip is reversed, Buh-Buh Ray comes in and...just like that. No tables, which'll make the crowd boo for sure. Quick, cut to

Gerald Brisco is .... well, you know. Anybody seen Pat Patterson tonight?

Meanwhile, Crash Holly is WALKING! He sets aside the scale and knocks on the (sign: "Almost Done") door of the APA. He's hopping mad! "Gosh darn it, I am so mad! What is wrong with you guys? You're supposed to be businessmen! This is a business deal!" Holly keep ratings while we pan over to Bradshaw ("dropping cigar for comedic effect"), then to Faarooq ("classic Faarooq look of confusion"), and back to Holly, who says he's consulted his parents and learned that this was "breach of contract!" Instead of giving his money back, Faarooq produces...a sucker. Holly throws it against the table. "I'm serious! Look, if you're not giving me money back, then - then I'm gonna take it out of your a--I'm gonna take it out of both your rear ends!" The Acolytes laugh this off - Holly takes a Natural Light, pops it open - and pours it on Bradshaw's head. Suitably angered, Bradshaw takes off. Faarooq: "Hey, Bradshaw - remember, he's just a boy!"

And now, get ready for some Maximum Power - delivered by RC Edge Maximum Power cola! From last night's PPV, the Pedigree on the table - a table that did not break

Gerald Brisco gets Triple H on the cel phone...but the connection breaks up. So Brisco slams down the cel phone. I AM SHOCKED AND APALLED AT THIS GREVIOUS DISPLAY OF VIOLENCE AGAINST PERSONAL ELECTRONICS

CRASH HOLLY (without Scale but with a cartful of plundah) v. ACOLYTE BRADSHAW in a hardcore match - Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago where beer was spilled. Subway presents King of the Ring 25 June from the Fleet Center in Boston! Holly breaks a 2x4 over him, poud, into the ropes, but the advantage is short-lived. Bradshaw breaks half the 2x4 (which he almost slipped on off the ropes), garbage can, trashcan lid. Backhand chop, outside we go, to the timekeepers table, WHACK with the chair, back into the ring, Subway Double Feature of the chairshot. Boot, right hand, right, right, elbowdrop, Bradshaw's just mauling him here. Powerbomb coming up - from three storeys up! Up for another powerbomb - Crash rolls through and lands on his feet - so Bradshaw hits his Lariat instead. Bradshaw slipped on on that board remnant again, how dangerous! Anyway, it's over, baby. (2:01) Replay of the powerbomb block and Clothesline von Hell.

The limo (yes, another completely different limo, how 'bout that?) carrying the Helmsleys FINALLY arrives - Brisco meets them and tries to explain what happened...and this time, he finds a receptive - and increasingly nervous - audience...

Encore presentation ad #2

SmackDown! comes to Oakland Tuesday, 11 July! Tickets on sale NOW! Who hates BASS?

Big Show, in happier times, ate lotsa overstuffed ravioli - I still prefer Lucca, myself

The Helmsleys and Brisco are WALKING! They've made their way to their dressing room.



Brisco once again tells the sad story of what happened to three of the four scheduled to take on the Rock tonight. He apparently didn't catch where Dogg & X-Pac were thrown - oops, that doesn't jibe with earlier commentary - oh well, maybe Tori's trying to free them? Helmsley says he's not waiting; he'll go find the Rock himself...but as they walk off, who should emerge from the shadows but...oooh! So THAT'S what that weird reflection was! (If you can't figure it out, it was the Rock)

Our hosts once again go back to the stills of last night's Iron Man match. Did Shawn see the chokeslam (prior to the bell) or did he miss it and see the tombstone (after the bell)? Lawler ALSO suggests that Michaels "conveniently" missed the DQ'able interference by DX (as opposed to being out cold)

Let Us Take You Back to minutes after the event was over... From last night, MICHAEL KING COLE interviewed MR. WHYSPYR.

Controversy swirling around Shawn Michaels, an extremely controversial evening, and the bottom line is, perhaps your best friend Triple H walks out of here--

Look, I know where you're going with this, Michael Cole, and what I did was go out there and do my job to the best of my ability. I called the match, right down the middle, just like everybody asked. What in the world do you - and the whole world want with Shawn Michaels? I'm a human being; I did the best job I possibly could.

Well, Shawn, let's go let's go through the final few moments of this matchup. It was tied at 5-5 between the Rock and Triple H; if this match ended in a tie, the Rock would retain the WWF championship. The McMahon-Helmsley Faction came down to the ring, obviously intefered in the matchup.

What I saw was Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon come down, get on the apron, the Rock cleaned their clock - and then, all of a sudden I'M knocked out of the ring, next thing I saw was the Undertaker interfering on behalf of the Rock. That's a disqualification. When they were outside, I counted 'em out - when they used chairs, I disqualified 'em - when somebody comes into the ring, it's a disqualification. I called it right down the middle, and if you and the rest of the world don't like it, I don't know what it the hell to tell ya. I did the best job I could - I'm gettin' sick and tired of people like you always coming down on me every time I'm asked to do a job. I've been here longer than ANYBODY - ANY superstar that the World Wrestling Federation has to offer, nobody's been here longer than me and STILL I can't make any of you bastards happy. Tough! You don't like it? Too bad, but I called it the way I saw it.

The commentators give their instant reaction.

Back in a dressing room, Essa Rios enjoys the company of Godfather and his employees. As they light it up out of the room and down the hall, Rios with one ho on each arm, Lita meets up with them - and isn't too pleased to see her man dabbling in the pleasures of the flesh. Rios gives his "boys will be boys" shrug - Lita appears to forgive him, but has a scowl as they start WALKING down the hall...

Good GOD, this Burger King Spicy Chicken Sandwich is super ethnic, tho'

THA GODFATHA & ESSA RIOS (with twelve - no, ten - wait - FIVE ladies...and Lita) v. DEAN MALENKO & PERRY SATURN - Lita still seems less than enthralled about the goings on in front of her. God, that humongous tattoo on Lita's shoulder is REALLY REALLY UGLY. For the first time in a great while, Godfather doesn't come out to Ice T. Dean & Perry have quite a bit of distance between them as they walk down the rampway. Godfather offers the man of a thousand holds a ho, telling him that his ho's "know a thousand positions." Saturn motions to Malenko that he wants one, too. Malenko asks for two. Godfather says fine - Malenko puts a ho on each arm - and then all three walk off without Saturn! Saturn decides to beat on Rios from behind instead. No, not like THAT. Sheesh. Saturn all over Rios - no, not like THAT. Geez, isn't this homoerotic enough without all your dirty thoughts? Saturn hits the Exploder - no, not like THAT - Rios reverses a whip, Saturn goes downstairs - no! Dammit, I'm trying to call a MATCH here. Spinning heel kick turns the tide, tag to Godfather, off the ropes, big back elbow sends him spinning. Off the ropes, clothesline, wacky 360 legdrop. It's time once again for everybody to come aboard the Ho Train! Saturn slumps down, tag to Rios - on the top rope, but Lita takes his legs out from under him, causing a spectacular snake eyes bump. Saturn hits the brainbuster - 1, 2, 3 - and he's ready for a cigarette. (1:32) Lita backs up the ramp, satisfied. Rios spits out his gum while crying out in pain. Saturn doesn't seem much happier. I guess he wishes he was back in WCW calling himself "the trouser snake."

The Helmsleys and Brisco are WALKING! And opening various doors to see if they can find the Rock...



Out comes LA ROCA - well, it's too early to have his match, isn't it? Must be time for some more talking instead. "Now the Rock has always said 'just bring it.' And last night at Judgment Day, Triple H, you brought it all at the Rock - you brought Vince McMahon - you brought Shane McMahon - Road Dogg - X-Pac - you even brought that walkin' two dollar slut you call a wife at the Rock! But regardless of what you brought at the Rock, it just didn't matter, because Triple H, the Rock says this: after all we've been through, one hour, Iron Man match, you gave everything you had at the Rock, and the Rock gave it back, but the fact still remains, Triple H, is that although you and the Rock made history last night, and although you walked out of Judgment Day with the WWF title, you never ever beat...the Rock." Rock pauses, then ever-so-slowly turns his head in such a way as to make the fans chant "Rock E." "So Triple H, enjoy the WWF title - enjoy it all, because the Rock says this, in due time, the Rock guarandamntees, once again, he will be WWF...Champion. Now speaking of WWF Champions, last night at Judgment Day the entire world witnessed the return of the Undertaker. Now Undertaker, although you did do the right thing, you did it at the wrong time, because you did it on the Rock's time - you did it on the Rock's...time. As for tonight, Vince McMahon, after the Rock went an hour last night, Iron Man match, you think you're just gonna finish the Rock off by throwing him into a Handicap match...four on one? Well, as you know by now, Vince, the Rock has already thrown you in your little limousine, and you're already taking a ride down Just-got-your-ass-kicked Boulevard. And as far as for Road Dogg and X-Pac, considering what the Rock did to you earlier tonight, you're probably back there right now suckin' it with each other." Rock turns his head again and the crowd chants again. Blah. "And as far as for Shane McMahon, the entire building witnessed Shane McMahon, simply, has left the building. Which brings the Rock to Triple H - Triple H, the Rock could have whipped your candyass back in the dressing room, but he decided to wait. He decided to wait for this very special moment, because now, what has become four on one, is now one on one. So Triple H, the Rock figured this: he'd wait 'til he came out here, the People's Champ, in the People's Ring, just figured, he'd kick your ass all over Indianapolis." Chant again, why not. We wait a bit...and wait...then, the music hits. THE NEW MAN & STEPHANIE ONO appear at the top of the ramp. Triple H raises the title high for all to see. "You know Rock, before I walk down this ramp and kick your ass...let me say a little something here. You know, Rock, yesterday, we went through hell. ["slut!"] I am in no mood today for your crap, so shut it! You and I went through hell, Rock. Judgment Day. It went sixty minutes. And you're right, you gave it all you had, I gave it all I had. ["ass hole"] And Rock, we did make history! Because the two greatest athletes in the World Wrestling Federation today got in that ring and did what nobody else could do - we went sixty minutes, and we lit the damn world on fire! But Rock, yesterday was your Judgment Day, and on your judgement day, you were punished, while I was rewarded. You see, Rock, 'cause at that end of the sixty minutes, I felt it all slide outta ya. Because, Rock, you were the Great One. But as great as you were, when it came right down to it at the end, I could feel it all come outta ya, Rock - at the end, you couldn't hang. You couldn't hang with me. There's no shame in that, Rock - 'cause I'm the best there is! But can say all you want, I never beat you. But the fact of the matter is - there are two men, standing here tonight, looking each other dead in the eye. One is in that ring, and he's a loser. The other is on this ramp...and he is a winner. The fact of the matter is, Rock, when it was, as you say, all said and done, and all the smoke had cleared...I was THE UNDISPUTED World Wrestling Federation Champion! Because I am The Game! And like I have *always* said, because I am - that - damn - ["good!"] " The crowd completes the catchphrase - YOU tell me he ain't over. Rock puts up a hand. "Rock E!" "Just bring it." H drops the belt and his mic, removes his leather jacket and walks down to the ring. It's two to the hour - somehow I don't think this can be happening. After all, they're both in street clothes! Come on! Rock beckons once again - ooh! The sunglasses are off! H puts one foot through the ropes - then the other - and now they're exchanging blows! Now it's the Rock - KISS THAT RIGHT! Into the opposite corner - clothesline. ROAD DOGG & X-PAC are out - TORI - SKIPPY - GERALD BRISCO helping BILLIONAIRE VINCE walk out - Rock goes through them all - big right for Vince - I think he was wanting to give him Rock Bottom, but he fell down - Rock picks him up - gutshot - NOW, Rock Bottom for Vince! But now the numbers FINALLY regroup and get the better of the one Rock. Shane and Dogg bring a section of STEEL steps into the ring... 1.7


but just as all seems lost...the clip from last night plays again.

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my soul is thine to keep, and never step outside this bed, now look into all the back from the dead. He's here..."

The screen flashes "His Judgment Day is NOW" and we see a shot of a motorcycle with THE UNDERTAKER on it. This entrance is brought to you by Kid Rock's new CD (available in eight days!) and as "American Badass" plays, Undertaker steps off his bike as various Faction members attack black ninja style - and all go down - including Vince. Despite the long coat, Undertaker looks in pretty good shape! Back up the ramp, and back onto the bike - my God, he's gonna run 'em over! No, they pull Vince away just in time. Undertaker rides his bike around the ring - culminating in a wacky chase of Shane up the ramp. Can Chainz be far behind? Meanwhile, Triple H and Rock are left in the ring - H removes his shirt and sets him up for the Pedigree on the section of STEEL steps - but Rock reverses into a back body drop onto the mat! Outside the ring we go as Rock clotheslines him - into the bell on the timekeepers's table! Rock clears the commentary table of monitors...H comes back with rights - H is going to Pedigree Rock on the table! No, Rock goes for the nuts. This time, the Rock Bottom DOES break the table! Play his music! Rock spends about a half hour trying to get his shirt off (hint: unbutton your sleeves next time, Rock!) so we cut to a shot of the comatose Triple H instead of embarrassing him further. Tori and Stephanie both over him... When we cut back, he's gotten that shirt off and he's definitely smelling it on the turnbuckle. Replay, War Zone credits, WWF logo, see ya.

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Copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications