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/25 December 2000





QUICK QUOTE: Market's not open today! WWF 13 1/2 (- 15/16 ... last year: 15)

Man, it's looking more and more like Mike's gonna keep that "M99" logo through all of 2000, isn't he? I mean, I've been waiting ALL YEAR for "Micasa 2K" but...but....well, maybe a 2001 logo? Come to think of that guy still ALIVE?

TONIGHT: It's a Very Special Christmas and a very special show! In fact, it's SO special that there's no pre-show promo!

Not only is this Very Special Christmas SAMMO *not* Very Special, it ain't even Christmas! (unless Sammo's birthday is Christmas)





One World Leader Attitude - WWF!

Opening Credits - TV-14-DLV-CC - put a wreath around it!

LIGHT THE PYRO and *also* light five candles for Christmas (what?) - from the Unnamed Arena in Chattanooga, TN and transmitido en espanol SAP on TNN & TSN for the night of 25.12.2K (taped 22.12) on!

TONIGHT: Kane vs. Austin! Dig the graphic with christmas lights!

STEPHANIE ONO sidles out in the same santa hat she wore last year...the jury's still out on the chest, though. "The McMahon family is TRULY celebrating the Christmas spirit! I mean, my father (Vince McMahon) as we speak is volunteering his time and services at a local soup kitchen in our hometown of Greenwich, Connecticut! Even my injured husband, Triple H, encouraged me to leave his bedside and come to this arena tonight. And me? Well I baked my mother a dessert - something that really reminded me of her...a fruitcake! But, like Daddy always says, business is business, and we have a real problem with the way SmackDown! ended on Thursday night. Let's take a look at the footage. Look at this! Two of the WWF's greatest superstars, the Rock and the Undertaker, staring each other down. They're sizing each other up, and I know what they're thinking. Those two men are wondering who the greater superstar really is...and quite frankly, so am I. So that's why my father asked me to make a very special match to determine that very thing." "Rock E!" "You're right - tonight, In This Very Ring, in a one-on-one matchup, you will see your beloved Rock....take on the Undertaker! Now, I know once these two men arrive at the arena that they will welcome this match! I mean, after all, the Rock is certainly not afraid of the Last Ride...and the American Badass? He wouldn't flinch at the Rock Bottom. So tonight, we will determine just who is the greater superstar. And speaking of great superstars, allow me to introduce you to the WWF tag team champions, EDGE & CHRISTIAN...AND the WWF Champion KURT ANGLE!" Angle wears a santa hat of his well as a pine necklace. "Stephanie - Stephanie, first of all we would like to wish you and your family a TOTALLY merry Christmas." "You too, Edge." "HUGE jollifications. Our only regret is that poor Mick Foley couldn't be here to celebrate with us because he was fired last week." "Yeah, Steph - you could have at least waited and fired him here in Chattanooga, Tennessee, so he coulda been with his kinda people. You know...fat, toothless, and unemployed. But despite the fact that jolly old St. Mick isn't here with us, we're still in a great mood, 'cause last Thursday on SmackDown!, ho ho, Christmas SO came early. Gods of the TitanTron, roll the footage." "Yeah, Stephanie, it truly is a time of celebration. Because as of last week, me, Edge & Christian proudly stand before you tonight, your WWF and tag team champions." "Ang Gull Sux!" "And to top it off, I'm going to ignore that, and to top it off, it's Christmas and I'm in the Christmas spirit. And while there's nothing better than to spend Christmas with my fans... (Ross: "Where are they")...that's just not gonna cut it this year. No offense, Chattanooga, but you people are foul smelling, and you kinda give me the creeps, if you know what I mean. So I decided to get myself a special holiday gift. I decided to fly out my family, and I'd like for all of you to meet them right now. Guys?" Angle's theme plays again and out bound FIVE STRAPPING LADS IN MATCHING SWEATSUITS, SANTA HATS AND GARLANDS. "I would like for all of you to meet my brothers and my cousin. Steph, you met Eric. Not I'd like you to meet Mark, David, my cousin Jimmy, and my other brother Johnny. And I would like to say all of our accomplishments combined - we have 14 All-American honours, eleven national titles, and 16 state championships. Of course, I'm the only one with an Olympic Gold Medal, but darn it, it's the best family a guy could have! Now enough with the small talk. Mick Foley, smashing you over the head with a chair last week made me remember something - that if you need to make a point, you need to hit it on the head. Oh, it's true. Now with that in mind, I would like to celebrate Christmas, and I would like to do it the right way. So... ("Fole E!")" Steph: "How many times do I have to tell you people that Foley is FIRED?" "Oh, it's true - it's DAMN true. So, I would like for all of you to give my family the same respect that you would expect from me....gentlemen, are you ready? Okay. One anda two..." They break into "Winter Wonderland," Edge and Angle with the call, and the rest of the Angles with a response. Christian provides the kazoo. Mercifully, we're spared more than the first bit as CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO interrupts the proceedings with the Y2J countdown. "Welcome to ... RAW is JERICHO! Or in this case...welcome to 'Revenge of the Nerds.' I mean, Kirk Angel, I KNOW you know who I am, but for the benefit of Team Loser, allow you to introduce myself. My name is Y2J, and on behalf of all these Jerichoholics I would like to say, would you please SHUT THE HELL UP? I mean, it's not as though your singing wasn't mildly entertaining, but I think you're just singing the wrong song. I mean, instead of 'Winter Wonderland' you should be singing 'the Twelve Days of Christmas, because all you have to do is change a few of the lines, because instead of geese, we have six Angles who will NEVER be a-laying...and then right in the middle of all that we have two valley girls, and to top it all off, we have a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, bottom-feeding trashbag ho in a pear tree! But Kirk, you were right about one thing - this IS Christmas, and I only want one present, and it's not a Slinky, and it's not a GI Joe with a kung fu grip - no, what I want is that World Wrestling Federation championship that's around your waist...and I want it TONIGHT." I think they edit out Kurt pounding on his mic to make sure it works. "Wait a minute - you come out here, and you insult my family and friends,



and now you want to get rewarded? I don't think so! You can forget about it--" "Kurt...calm down, okay? Jericho, you never have been very smart, have you? I mean, flattery will get you nowhere. You are DENIED your title shot. Okay?" Angle whispers in her ear. "How 'bout a match teaming you and a tag team of your choice against the World Wrestling Federation champion Kurt Angle and the WWF tag team champions Edge & Christian?" "Well, Stephanie, I mean, I'd like to thank you for giving me such a kind Christmas gift, but unfortunately I didn't get any gifts for you - but then again, what can you get for the girl who's had everyone. And as far as the six man tag team match goes - Kirk, lemme make you a deal. You tell your partners to get the kazoos, and I'll tell my partners to...GET THE TABLES." Angle's...smiling?

The WWF Fanatic Series presentation for December is "Three Faces of Foley." Don't know why they keep advertising doesn't look like it's going to be airing least on my ONE pay-per-view channel. (By the way, Hennig vs. Rodman airs TUESDAY at 6:30pm!)

When we come back, Angle takes his family on a tour through the arena...and introduces them to "a fellow WWF superstar - he's a good friend of mine - his name is K..." "K-Kwik." "K-Kwik! Now K-Kwik is a 'rap singer.' K-Kwik, meet my family." All in unison: "Hi, K-Kwik!" "Anyway, gotta go. See you later!" "Now that's what I call a VERY white Christmas..."

VANILLA MIDGETS v. HARDY BOYZ (with Lita) - before their entrance, the Hardyz ask Lita to stay back in this match, but she declines that offer. Let us take you back to Heat where Lita slapped Dean...and Dean pinned Matt Hardy with his feet on the ropes. Hey, HOWARD FINKEL doing the ring announcing tonight! Matt goes for Dean, Chris goes for Matt, Jeff goes for Chris. Hardyz with the upper hand, Jeff over to give Dean a shot to take him off the apron. Double whip of Benoit...Malenko trips him up and pulls him outside. But you're not safe anywhere...Matt drops down to boost Jeff into a leap over the top rope onto both men! Benoit rolled back in as we take the 1-800-COL-LECT Double Feature. Stomp, right, right, right - off the ropes, Benoit tries the tilt-a-whirl, but Hardy busts out the headscissors. Another free shot for Malenko on the apron. Benoit catches the kick...and hits the dragon screw legwhip! Got the knee - and DRIVING it down to the mat. Tag to Malenko. Most over man in the match is Lita. Open shot for Malenko. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Knee. Arm wringer, kicks the knee. Stomping on the knee. I think he's picked a body part! Malenko with a toehold. Knee to the knee - another kneedrop on the knee. Cheap shot for Matt, bringing him in to distract referee "Blind" Jim Korderas. They kinda ruin it by making a tag behind his back anyway. Benoit with a slam and a cover...and he gets 2. BIG knife-edge chop. Hardy stops a whip attempt with an arm wringer, laces the leg, rolls forward into that roll that Ross knows the name of and I don't...but only gets 2 this time. Benoit pounds him back down, tag to Malenko - into the ropes, double gutshot, double suplex attempt is countered when Hardy backflips out. Jeff splits a dropkick between them and makes the tag! Matt makes a beeline for Malenko, spears him down, and hammers him with punches. Benoit with a shot to the back of the head to stop that. Into the ropes, Matt flies into a press on Benoit...then goes back to rabbit punching the back of Malenko's head. Jeff's back in and on Benoit with repeated punches. And now Jeff is over to meet Matt - Malenko put into the ropes, double back body drop. Benoit catches Jeff unaware and switches positions in the corner, kicking away. Malenko counters the Twist of Fate with a big shove into the corner, and puts him up on the top turnbuckle. Climbing up...but Lita is in with an uppernut, sending him back to the mat. Matt comes off the second rope with the legdrop, holds his back, and manages to keep him Dean down for three. (4:05) Benoit is quickly back in to drive an axehandle between his shoulderblades. Malenko with the Tejas cloverleaf on Matt...Lita in to try to break it up, but Benoit grabs HER in the Crippler crossface! Well, serves her RIGHT - SHE'S the one that wanted to be out there! The Radicalz' music plays...and Benoit has a pretty big smile as they walk back up the aisle...

SmackDown! 2 ad



In the local slot, there's an ad for RAW is WAR taping LIVE from the San Jose Arena 8 January!'s sold out, so it seems a waste of money to air the ad...well, they *do* say to "check the box office on the day of the show for extra seats that will be released," so who knows...

Moments Ago, Lita got what she deserved. During the Break, the Hardyz helped her walk back up the ramp...

And now we see the EMT's attending to Lita. Matt's all "I told you so." Benoit shows up and says something about "if you want a man, learn to be a woman first - keep your hands to yourself" but he's buried in the background noise. Anyway, Matt rushes him again...but Benoit gets the better of it before the refs and officials separate them. Did Benoit just blow them a kiss? He's EDGY!

MICHAEL KING COLE catches Rock as he enters the arena. Rock pauses as Cole stooges out that it's him and the Undertaker...but says nothing before moving on.

Meanwhile, KEVIN "NAILZ" KELLY stands with Debra - why would Mr. McMahon ask her to stay on as lieutenant commissioner? She says she doesn't know Mr. McMahon's motives, but Mick Foley taught her how to be fair and she'll continue to be fair....but now that Mr. McMahon is back in charge, things aren't quite the same. Then Kelly MAKES HER CRY! With Mick gone, being Loot Commish isn't any fun - it's a job. But to make him proud, she'll book a triple threat match for the hardcore title - Hardcore Holly, Raven and Steve Blackman. "Merry Christmas, Mick!" She fights back tears...allegedly.

Meanwhile, Vince is on the speaker phone as Stephanie's cleavage listens on. He thinks the big six-man match is a great one. After remarking that the homeless people in Greenwich sure have nice cars, McMahon asks her to hold on for a minute...but then we hear a voice not unremarkably like Trish Stratus' say "Mr. McMahon, this is so fun!" "Oh - oh - sorry, just a little sideline there." "Who the hell was that?" "What?" "Dad, who WAS that?" "Oh, ... homeless lady! They get giddy off of when they have too much soup. They're not accustomed to, you know, so much soup, and when they have a certain amount they get a little giddy, you know what I'm saying?" "Dad, can you put that giddy woman on the phone?" "Umm, no, actually she just - she just left - quite frankly Steph, they're - they're asking for me to come back and and ladle out some more soup, I - have a good night and I'll try to have fun over here where I am." "Dad--" "Bye!" "Dad!" She picks up the phone - nope, he's already gone. She slams the phone down.

And now, the Lugz Peace & Joy! From SmackDown!, Kane interrupts Austin's ref job of the Regal/Holly title match with a big big chokeslam.

Michael King Cole stands with a pacing Steve Austin. Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! where Vince made a match with Kane for tonight. Austin says he's getting exactly what he wants for Christmas - Kane. And since it's the giving season, there's a can of whoopass with Kane's name on it. Kane's gonna witness a Stone Cold Christmas, and that's the catchphrase.

WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: HARDCORE HOLLY v. RAVEN v. MR. PARTY TIME (with Riggs & Murtaugh) - Raven and Holly go at it before the Fink can finish Blackman's introduction. Holly clotheslines Raven as Blackman hits the ring - Ross says the "24/7 rule" hasn't really been in play since Blackman's held the championship because nobody wants to tie up with him outside the ring. Sounds to ME like they're giving away the ending! Holly and Blackman trading blows - Blackman whipped into a collision with Raven - Holly with a schoolboy for 2. Blackman avoids a charge and takes Holly over the top rope into a shopping cart at ringside. Raven with the lid. Stomp on the head, lidshot. Into the ropes, Blackman goes behind, but Raven ducks, putting Blackman's head between the ropes - and Holly gives him a lidshot. Raven gets a lidshot from Holly as well...and he ends up headbutting Blackman in the groin on his way down. Holly pulls Raven out - forearm. One garbage can lid in each hand, and Holly's using 'em on Raven. Blackman with a baseball slide dropkick to Holly - they brawl until Raven unleashes the CO2. Garbage can lid to Holly's head. They're over the barricade - lid shot - Holly punching back. Blackman joins them - HE'S got a lid for each man. Raven walking away - found a garbage can. Holly whips Blackman into a safety rail. Raven with the garbage can to Holly. Blackman superkicks the can into Raven. This ain't pretty. Raven and Blackman behind the curtain....Raven into the big case. Holly has a broomstick, broken over Blackman's back. Raven and Blackman beating up random spectators backstage. Blackman kicks Raven into the cyclone fence set. Holly back over - Blackman with a kick and a thrust. Raven meets the Powerade machine. And now he's outside and up the stairs - Blackman rolls him back down the steps. Holly over - Blackman's head meets the rail. Aha, it's the UTC Arena! Holly takes Blackman the rest of the way up the stairs - and into the hood of a parked car. Got a 2x4 - SWING and a miss - Blackman with a German suplex onto the hood of the car, and holding on for a bridge - 1, 2, 3! (3:41) I don't know, it kinda looked like BOTH men's shoulders were down, but we gotta cut referee "Blind" Chad Patton some slack because it's probably REALLY REALLY COLD and he'd like to get back inside as soon as possible. We follow Blackman back down the stairs and back to the curtain...but Raven's



up from behind with his OWN block of wood to the back of the head! 1, 2, 3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Hardcore champion. WORST CHRISTMAS EVER. (0:32)

Steve Austin is WALKING!

Meanwhile, Kane is WALKING!

Jesse Ventura shills the XFL (while wearing a WWF sweatshirt)

The Royal Rumble Replay is from 1995...the infamous "one foot on the floor" decision that robbed the British Bulldog of a victory...and gave it to Shawn Michaels.

As WILLIAM REGAL hits the ring, let's learn together that RAW is WAR is brought to you by 1-800-CAL-LATT, Castrol Motor Oily, and 989 Sports! "Over the holidays, some of you, my friends...indulge far too much. Like swine, you trot down your food, not having time to enjoy it. And then, you sit at the dinner table, crudely belching and breaking wind...I believe in America you call it 'fahting.' Now, it's not your fault - you just don't know any better. But think of the children - they are the future. You cannot belch and faht in front of your children! So please, set an example, on this joyous of days--" Well, SOMEBODY lit one...oh, wait, that's just Kane's normal wall of fire...

WELL IT'S KANE (with RAW Credits) v. STEP OFF - Looks like Regal will eventually make his way to the third headset as Austin rushes the ring - right, Kane right, Austin right, Kane right, Austin, right, right, right, right, right, right, Kane with a choke, Austin in the corner, ducks out, right, right, right, right, right, head to the adjacent buckle, again, and one more ram into the buckle. Kane reverses a whip into the opposite turnbuckle, big clothesline by Austin - Boss Man straddle. Running clothesline puts Kane on the floor...but he lands on his feet. Kane pulls Austin out - uppercut, uppercut, uppercut. Austin blocks a right, gutshot, reversed, and Austin ends up clotheslining Regal! Austin gives Regal ten quick stomps, ducks a Kane clothesline, right, right, right puts Kane down - on top of Regal. Four more stomps from Austin. Kane's head meets the commentary table. Then he mounts him for five rights. Kane put back in the ring - elbow to the chest, from the floor. Austin with another elbow. FINALLY he's back in. Regal: "I've just been molested!" Into the ropes is reversed, big boot by Kane turns it around. Short clothesline by Kane gets 2. Into the ropes, Austin catches the big boot, trips up his other leg (or knees him in the nuts, depending on your perspective), stomp, stomping away on the back of the leg. Right hand. Right, Kane goes outside. Kane manages to grab Austin's leg and wrap the post with it. Another ringpost shot for the knee. A fan sneaks in a surprisingly loud "Kick his ass, Kane!" Kane with a right hand. Right. Austin pokes the eyes. Lawler reveals that Kane is in the Royal Rumble. Kane climbing up top...flying clothesline finds the mark. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, Austin kicks out. Got him up in the side slam position - and drops him in a big backbreaker. Austin put sternum first into the turnbuckle. Regal: "I hold a victory over Steve Austin - that goes into the record books." Kane stomps on Austin - stomp, stomp. "Aw Stin!" Stomp from Kane. Austin with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," gutshot,, it's KANE with the suplex - 1, 2, NO! Kane with a right. Into the ropes, bearhug...Austin goes for the mask....right, right, right, right, right, hold is broken, right, right, right, into the ropes, Thesz press, eight rights, off the ropes with the Austin elbow. Into the ropes, reversed, caught in the choke...but four rights break that. KICK WHAM...Kane shoves him off. Got him on the shoulder...Austin manages to fall back - ducks a clothesline - KICK WHAM STUNNER - Regal on the apron, Austin with a right for HIM...head to the ringpost, across the apron to the OTHER ringpost, and a right hand to put him on the floor. Turning back - choke by Kane! Austin, sensing that referee "Blind" Tim White is busy looking at Regal out on the floor, goes ahead and kicks Kane in the nuts. Right, right, Regal from behind with a forearm. Well, that's that. (DQ 7:21) Regal and Kane get to doubleteam stomping as the TV-14-DLV ratings box and CC box make their reappearance. Regal outside to steal the Fink's chair - Kane holds him for Regal (you know THAT'S gonna work) - sure enough, Austin gets a boot up to Regal's gut, his trick knee acts up to break Kane's grip - got the chair, WHACK for Regal!



WHACK for Kane! Play his music! Throw him a beer! Hell, throw him TWO!

SmackDown! 2 ad #2

When we come back, Michael King Cole is waiting for the Undertaker to descend a flight of stairs. The TV-14-DLV-CC boxes mysteriously reappear. Is he surprised that he's taking on the Rock tonight, what with it not being WrestleMania and all? "(ptui) Surprised? Hell, ain't nothin' around here surprises me any more. Eh, I take that back. I'm surprised that the McMahons feel that they need to stir things up between the Rock and I. Hell, Cole, it's no secret - the Rock and I, well we don't like each other. Never have...never will, see the Rock's the kinda guy, he's got a loud bark. He's all about running his mouth off. Me? I'm a guy with a big bite. I'm all about hurtin' people, and tonight, I just happen to be in the mood to hurt somebody. Ya see, I don't need a reason to fight, I just need somebody TO fight. So tonight...two big yard. We're gonna see who's got the bark, and who's got the bite, but I'll tell the Rock this: if he tries me, I will make him famous."

Here comes ERNEST MILLER (blonde) with a present for Jim Ross. "JR, I just had to come down here and wish you a merry Christmas...and I've got a little present for you - open it, please! Just for you." It's a copy of WWF Divas: Postcard from the Caribbean. "Merry Christmas! King...I know JUST what you want for Christmas, and uh...I got it." "The Stripper" plays, she climbs on the table, and removes the robe to reveal a teeny red bikini. And here's a flash for the crowd as well. And then King gets one right on the lips! Ewwww!

Meanwhile, Stephanie bounces over to T&A's dressing room, possibly needing all this time to JUST figure it out. "Where the hell is Trish?" "We don't know. She's not gonna be here. Not like it's any of your business anyway." "I knew it!" and off she goes. "Wait - I got a good idea where Trish is at." "Ahhh, you're not too sure." "She's eatin' soup, if you know what I mean." "You mean, she's at a certain soup kitchen with Mr. McMahon?" "I'm not 100% sure, but if I was a betting man, I'd bet that's *exactly* where she is." "Right on..."

When we come back, the assembled Angles gather round Kurt, who is on the cel phone to his parents. "How'd you like our singin'? ... they said that cousin Jimmy was a little off key." They all nudge him. "What'd you think of me? Mom said I was the best." They all roll their eyes. "Thanks Mom, I love ya. Bye bye."

T&A v. TOO COOL - haven't seen these guys on RAW in a while, you know... Amazingly, we don't start with a Pier Four brawl with one man being thrown outside while the ref buts the other man in his corner! I KNOW! I can't believe it either! It's Test and Sexay to start. Knee by Test, forearm to the back, forearm, right hand. STEPHANIE ONO is out. Right, right, into the opposite corner, Sexay gets an elbow up to stop the charge. Big boot stops Test again. Big second turnbuckle dropkick. Tag to Sexay - double suplex. Test comes back with a forearem. Tag to Albert, holding him up for a yah right, yah right, right, Test just noticed Stephanie. Scotty tries a sunset flip off the ropes, but Albert keeps his balance. Big yaah buttdrop meets with nobody, though - Hotty off the ropes with a seated dropkick - 1, 2, Albert yaah kicks out with authority. Scotty tries a shot, Albert scoops him up - big yah press but Hotty shakes free before he can slam him. Hotty avoids the yah right, a yah left, but finally gets caught in the yaahlbertbomb. 1, 2, Sexay makes the save. Tag to Test. Right, glare at Stephanie, right, right, kick, kick, kick, standing on the neck. ANOTHER glare for Stephanie, who waves.



Tag to Albert. Yah kick. Yah right. Into the ropes, head down, kick by Hotty, kick, kick, ducks a clothesline, flying jalapeno! Both men are down. Will Sexay finally get the tag? Tag to tag to Sexay! Duck, right, right, right, ducks Albert, dropkick for him, back to Test, right, right, Sexay hears the freight train coming and moves out of the way of the yaaaaaaaah splash, letting Test eat it. Sexay clotheslines Test outside, but Albert clotheslines HIM outside as well. "How's that Christopher?" Hotty with a blind bulldog on Albert, I'm gonna do the Worm face, I think Lawler's been watching Metal en espanol because HE starts singing during the worm just like Carlos Cabrera does - hi-YA! That was voted the Worst Move of 2000, by the way. I was hoping Rock's spit punch would win, but I'm only one man. Test back in with a big BIG boot for Hotty - big rights for Sexay as well. Whip is reversed, and Stephanie grabs Test's ankle, distracting him enough for Sexay to come up from behind with a rollup, grab the pants, AND allow referee "Blind" Jack Down to hit his trademark fast count for the fall. (3:38) Stephanie smiles while Test seethes.

Chris Jericho and the Dudley Boyz are WALKING!

TONIGHT: Rock vs. Undertaker!

When we come back, there's a knock at Stephanie's's Albert. "Steph...I'm not here to complain about the gotta do what you gotta do. First of all, we all know that Test is a hothead, and the rumours about Trish and your dad - hey, I don't know if they're true, all right? But I'm here for one thing - I'm here to let you know that if you need anything - and I mean ANYTHING - I'm your man." "Thanks Albert..." Hey, I think she wants to see ALL his piercings! Oh, wait, maybe that's not where they're going with this...


The WWF Slam of the Week is presented by 1-800-COL-LECT, and is Kurt Angle "screwing" Rock and Undertaker out of the tag titles - from SmackDown!

CHRIS TMAS JERICHO & THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ v. KING KURT ANGLE & EDGE & CHRISTIAN in 6-man action - somehow, the other five Angles have made their way out to front row seats. Christian sneaks in from behind as Jericho tries to swipe at Angle, and away we go Right, right, right, right, right, Angle gets in a couple licks as well, since referee "Blind" Mike Chioda is occupied with keeping the Dudleyz in their corner. Into the ropes, Jericho ducks, flying jalapeno! Right, right, right, right, Christian to his feet, into the ropes, sunset flip - 1, no Jericho is up - going for the Walls of Jericho! But setting for a WOW catapult into the unfriendly corner. Christian falls into a punch from D-Von, and a Jericho rollup...for 2. Head to the buckle, tag to D-Von, they doubleteam him for a while. Armwringer by D-Von, rake of the face by Christian, tag to Edge. Edge runs into a hiptoss from Dudley - into the ropes, Edge ducks the clothesline, but Dudley connects with the shoulderblock. Head to Buh Buh Ray's boot - tag. Open shot, right, right, into the ropes, Edge ducks, head down by Buh Buh Ray, but it works...dropping Edge with a stun gun! Free shot for Angle, free shot for Christian...that'll ensure Chioda's back is turned - scoop....and a slam, and we're ready for "wazzup." Ross: "These referees must be...they must not watch game film - they miss this every week!" Testify dance. D-Von, get it. Buh Buh Ray works on opening up every orifice in Edge's face while D-Von sets the table up out on the floor....but Christian is over with a forearm. And one more. Angle around to try to help - but meeting Jericho on his way. Edge hits the spear, in the meantime. Stomp, stomp, stomp, right, tag to Christian, kick, right, into the ropes, reversed, big back body drop by Buh Buh Ray that has Christian a-flailin'. Tag to Angle...HOT TAG to Jericho! Clothesline! Clothesline! Into the ropes is reversed, Jericho slides under - gutshot, double underhook into...yow, an INCREDIBLY painful looking backbreaker across the knee. 1, Jericho pops up to stop Edge, then give Christian a shot just to keep HIM on the outside. Back to Angle, chop, into the ropes, reversed, head down by Angle, kick by Jericho, clothesline over the top rope to the outside. Jericho follows...pretty close to the family here. Jericho puts Angle back in the ring...then gets too close and gets a pieface from Eric. Jericho pulls him over the barricade, where the Dudleyz collect him...the other four Angles try to swarm Jericho - Buh Buh Ray over to help...well, it's ALL breaking down now. The numbers turn the tide on Jericho, especially when Kurt leaves the ring to help with a BIG shot from behind. Over to the STEEL steps where the Dudleyz are bombing Eric through the table! Back to Jericho, reversing a whip into the ringpost and Kurt hits hard. Edge & Christian are back up - and brawling to the back with the Dudley Boyz! It's just Jericho and Angle left in the ring...Jericho on top - missile dropkick! Jericho with the Lionsault...ON THE KNEES! OLYMPIC SLAM!! 1, 2, 3!!!!!!!!!!! (5:07) The remaining members of the Angle family rush the ring to congratulate Kurt - one checking on Eric - and THEN hold up Jericho for some free shots. Jericho manages a spit...but that's it. The Dudleyz return...too late. Play



his music once again!

The Smark just popped in - I thought I gave him the night off - complaining about Jericho being held down, once again, and we need look no farther than this finish for proof. Of course, this is the same guy who was doing an awful lot of complaining about the WWF Champion never getting a clean win. Go figure.

Moments Ago, Eric got a shot on Jericho....and through a table. Meanwhile, Jericho got his from the Angle family.

The Angles and Edge & Christian assemble in the back around Eric. "Eric, are you all right? I'm so sorry, I should have NEVER brought you here - those damn Dudleyz ruined our Christmas!" Edge: "Kurt, I promise you - we'll get even with the Dudleyz for this one!"

WALL BUCHANAN & GOODFATHER (with Steven Richards & Ivory) v. ACOLYTES (with Jacqueline) - Buchanan: "What kinda world are we livin' in? When you can buy merchandise for your children that promotes violence and vulgarity! The APA's T-shirt reads 'Always Pounding......Ass.' How can we let this be sold on the Internet? It's wrong! I said it's wrong! I want you people to turn AWAY from the Internet! I want you to turn AWAY from the WWF propaganda! I want you all to come together and say NO MORE!" Goodfather: "People. The Internet has become a habringer for nothing more of filth and decay. The World Wide Web is there to trap you until it slowly strangles all the goodness from each and every one of ya. So open your eyes, people - just open your eyes!" Now, having actively worked on the Internet for the better part of a decade, and having used it as a student for the REST of that decade, I believe I can say with some semblance of authority that EVERYTHING they just COMPLETELY true! I'm not above stealing a line from, so ...doesn't "Pounding Ass" mean.....something else entirely? Acolytes hit the ring before the intros are over and it's a Pier Four. Lawler: "I don't think Howard Finkel has gotten out one full announcement tonight!" Ross: "Howard's still celebrating Festivus." Buchanan goes out and Faarooq's to his corner. Goodfather's whip into the corner is reversed by Bradshaw, follow clothesline. Whip to the first corner, follow clothesline. Big death suplex. Bradshaw off the ropes, dropping the elbow, getting 2. Tag to Faarooq. Three open shots to the gut before referee "Blind" Teddy Long tells Bradshaw he needs to get outta there. Into the ropes, back elbow, Faarooq gets 2. Goodfather holds onto the next whip attempt, kick, off the ropes with another kick, tag to Buchanan. Stomp, scoop...and a backbreaker. Off the rope with the elbow...2. Buchanan still on him - right...but caught in a spinebuster. Both men are tag to Bradshaw! Big shoudlerblock - into the ropes, another knockdown. Side Russian legsweep. Bradshaw to the top...super shoulderblock. Shot for Goodfather on the apron - off the ropes, but Bradshaw bumps into Ivory...turning around and seeing her, Bradshaw grabs her by the hair...before he can DO anything, Buchanan is up from behind with a schoolboy. But he only gets 2! Meanwhile, Jacqueline is over to spear Ivory. THEY tussle on the outside as Faarooq comes in to muscle Buchanan to the outside. Meanwhile again, Bradshaw hits the Hades Lariat on Buchanan, catches Richards coming in with the Stevenkick attempt, gives HIM the clothesline from Hell, but here's BALD VENIS from out of *nowhere* with a DDT on Bradshaw - and Buchanan hits the scissors kick in short order. 1, 2, 3. RtC always win! Yeah! (2:32)

Wow! Kevin Kelly stands in front of an exciting door! He'll be emasculated NEXT!

Here's a quick look at the outside of the wherever we are

TONIGHT: Rock vs. Undertaker!

Your hosts are a pair of kings - LARRY KING & JERRY LAWLER.

Let Us Take You Back two weeks to The Spike Piledriver.

Let Us Take You Back 10 days ago to the Healthsouth Diagnostic Center where Chyna got an MRI

Jim Ross sits down with Chyna. She's wearing the collar. When it first happened, she lost feeling in her arms, but after the MRI, they showed that she had three ruptured discs in her neck. She was given two options, both involving her never wrestling again. Ross tries to bring up Playboy, her book,



"3rd Rock from the Sun," and movies - at least she has a few things to fall back on if these injuries prove career ending. Chyna ... well, I've stopped paying attention because I keep shouting "BRUSH BACK YOUR BANGS" to the TV. Anyway, she HATES the RTC for what they've done to hear, and she's pretty weepy about it, too. "They've taken my life from me, 'cause that's what that is to me. They've taken my life from me - I hate 'em!" You'd think having hair in your eyes would BOTHER you...ah, FINALLY she brushes it away. She hopes she can come back.

Kevin Kelly stands in the awesome presence of the Rock. Speculation is he's afraid of taking the Last Ride from the Undertaker-- Rock cuts him off. "Rock E!" "Finally, the Rock HAS COME BACK to Chattanoooooga. Afraid? Afraid? Kevin Kelly, you actually stand here and ask the Rock, is he afraid of takin' the Last Ride from the Undertaker? Well, let the Rock remind you of a couple of things; you see the Rock has already taken the Last Ride from the Undertaker and considering how the Rock felt after takin' the Last Ride, the Rock would just as soon as to avoid the Last Ride altogether. And even though the Rock respects the Undertaker, even though the Rock can see right through Vince McMahon's little games he's tryin' to play, despite all that the fact still remains, is that the Rock is afraid...of no one. But you see the Rock doesn't want to talk about what he's scared of, no no no. The Rock wants to talk about what makes him happy, considering this is Christmas. And seeing as this is Christmas, it reminds the Rock of his very favourite Christmas story...entitled 'Rocky, the People's Reindeer.' You see, Rocky the People's Reindeer was very large and very tall. / And unlike Kevin Kelly, he actually had a set of balls. / All the other jabrone reindeer used to be so jealous and look at him in vain / because they couldn't stand the fact that all the people would be chanting Rocky's name. / Then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa was drunk and full of gas / so Rocky took his big bag of toys, and stuck 'em straight up Santa's candyass! You see, Undertaker, considering this is Christmas, the Rock has got one more thing to say. (singing) You better not laugh / you better not cry / you better not pout, / Rock's telling you why / Brahma Bull is comin' to town." Rock turns his head ever so slightly to feed the chant one more time. "Undertaker. Never ever forget that your yard will always be on the People's Planet. Merry Christmas, Undertaker, Merry Christmas. If ya smellllllllllllllalalalalalaooooow what the Rock is cookin'."

ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN' DOT COM (on his Beautiful Titan Bike - with a Limp Bizkit CD cover) v. AD BREAK - Ummm, "Dead man walkin'" is NOT two words. Holy cow! Those STEEL steps have stood on end and moved to the barricades! It's a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

THE GHOST RIDER v. IF YA SMELLLLLLLL DOT COM (with 1-800-COL-LECT presents the Royal Rumble!) - Lawler reveals that, in addition to Kane, the Undertaker is in the Royal Rumble. Staredown as the crowd chants. Rock tries first, but Taker blocks the right and throws a soupbone that reels Rock all the way back to the corner. Soupbone, soupbone, HE warns referee "Blind" Earl Hebner about trying to warn HIM, soupbone, soupbone puts Rock over the top rope to the outside. Taker goes out - soupbone! And...ready? Soupbone! Taker stalks him - Rock blocks, right, right, head to the barricade is blocked, and Taker puts Rock there instead. Rock scooped up and dropped on the barricade. Hebner: "What the hell are you doing?" Taker: "I'm taking a bath, what's it look like I'm doing?" Head to the commentary table. Soupbone, and Rock falls back into the laps of the commentators. Undertaker around to grab him....and Rock is rolled back into the ring. Soupbone is blocked, Rock with a right, right, right, Taker with a knee. Rock ducks a clothesline off the whip, and hits one of his own. Into the ropes is reversed by the Undertaker, but Rock hits a swinging neckbreaker. Taker blocks the right and soupbones him in the throat. Scoops him up...but Rock breaks free - side Russian legsweep gets a 2 for the Rock! Off the ropes...but smack dab into the big boot. Taker drops an elbow. 1, 2, Rock kicks out. Taker puts Rock's head on the buckle. Soupbone to the small of the back. Another one in the same spot. *Headbutt* to the small of the back.



Pulling him back up for another shot to the kidneys. I think he's picked his body part! Deliberate arm wringer...head into the buckle. Hard whip into the opposite corner...Rock with an elbow to meet him. Rock coming in - Taker catches him and drops him with a sidewalk slam. 1, 2, no. Soupbone, right, soupbone, right, soupbone, right, right, right, into the ropes, Taker holds on - Rock ducks the short clothesline, gutshot, DDT, 1, 2, no. Rock back on him with an overhand right - into the ropes is reversed, Taker hits a back elbow. Back to the small of the back. Targeted stomp. Stomp. Taker puts a knee in the kidneys and pulls back on an arm and a leg - sort of a bow and arrow - hey, that's what Ross said, too! Taker pops him in the face with a soupbone. Into the the bearhug. I'm guessing Rock WON'T give up here...crowd fires up the chant. Time for Hebner to grab the arm, I think...arm falls once...arm falls twice...but arm doesn't fall thrice. Rock going to the face to try to break it - right, right, right, hold is broken, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, into the ropes, but *Taker* busts out a DDT. Crawling over for the cover - 1, 2, NO! Taker lying in wait...just waiting for Rock to get up so he can chokeslam him. Rock slowly staggering to his feet...but blocking the choke! Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, NOW KISS THAT...clothesline? Hmm. And now it's the Rock ready to strike...Undertaker gets up and Rock sets him up for Rock Bottom...but Undertaker just elbows him out of the attempt - then catches him off the ropes with the CHOKESLAM! Undertaker signals for the powerbomb...but that's not gonna happen on free TV, apparently, as RIKASHMONEY has decided that tonight would be a good time to make a triumphant return. Taker knocks him off the apron, back to the Rock for a soupbone. Into the ropes, reversal, Rock with a spinebuster. He's gonna go for the most...oh, no, he's not. Rikishi lowers the bridge and Rock sails over the top rope to the floor. Hebner calls for the bell. (DQ 9:34) Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, putting him back in the ring...RIKISHIKICK for Undertaker! And a RIKISHIKICK for Rock! Rikishi hits the big sitdown splash on Taker...then does the same to Rock. Play his music! Pull his pants up! Hit the War Zone credits and the final WWF logo - Rikishi has RETURNED!

Don't forget - there's a Reason for the season. If you don't know, don't be afraid to ask somebody!

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