TONIGHT: Paul handles the pre-show hype - lookit this clip from SmackDown! What will Vince do when he goes face to face with Linda? What will he do? Well.....wait until the top of the hour to find out!

THIS WEEK'S SPECIAL MIAMI VICE GUEST STAR: No! They killed Zito?! WHY?! You get NO special guest start because I'm SAD that LARRY ZITO IS DEAD, BY GOD, DEAD - in reality, this was Miami Vice's "last gasp" and final brush with greatness and I had no idea we'd moved so deeply, so quickly into this series...

Let Us Take You to a Series of Clips, just in case you've missed the epic saga of Vince and Linda....from Vince's request to a divorce to his second thoughts to Linda's commitment to SmackDown! What happened to the standard opening?

One World Leader Attitude - TV-14-DLV - ahh, there it is

Earlier Today, Vince addressed some Bruins jerseys - "winning season is over" - then catches up with a just-arriving Jim Ross. "Hey, hey, easy now...easy. What the hell happened to you? My God, look at your face! You been through an automobile accident or something? Or fall down twenty flights of steps? Look at you! Okay, all right, I'll accept partial responsibility for what happened...and on my part, perhaps I owe you an apology, and we need to discuss that because I don't think you're in the right frame of mind to work tonight." "Oh, the hell I'm not - I came here to work - I'm ready to work." "Easy now. I don't want you going out there with your head full of - of ill thoughts about me or about other people and saying the wrong thing, so before you go to work tonight, we need to have a little discussion in my office, if you don't mind. I just wanna make sure you're in the right frame of mind, if you understand..." Vince puts a hand on Ross' shoulder...and he takes off in a different direction. "Hey hey hey - hey, JR - I'll see ya in my office, pal."

Opening Credits

LET PYRO BE - we are LIVE from the Baked Bean Capital of the World, Boston, MA and the SOLD OUT Fleet Center 9.4.1 and transmitido en espanol SAP - here, WWF New York, there, on YOUR TV and mine, on TNN and maybe TSN...RAW IS WAR!

KING KURT ANGLE is our first man out tonight - Ross isn't out to join PAUL HEYMAN just yet - Heyman provides an Oklahoma impersonation to cover. "Believe it or not...don't start. Believe it or not, Your Olympic Hero is still a little bit naked. Now I know that the people here in Boston are not used to winning championships - oh, it's true - hell, the Boston Red Sox had made a habit of it for over eighty years! TIM WAKEFIELD...you're still active? Only in Boston. And I thank the good Lord above that I'm nothing like the Boston Red Sox. I am a Champion for life, and In This Very Arena, I was crowned King of the Ring. Oh, yeah. So it's only fitting that tonight I win something again - so I'm issuing a challenge to any champion back there with enough guts to come out here and give me a title shot. And unlike so many others, Roger Clemens, Bill Parcells, Rick Patino, I'm not gonna leave this town until I win championship gold! So Austin, Triple H, hell, I don't care WHO it is - why don't you come out here so I can get what I deserve? Hey, I'm not like Nomar Garciaparra, I'm not gonna fake an injury (boos) - don't make me come back there, come on out right now..." Now you all KNOW what happens next, right?

WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: KING KURT ANGLE v. KANE - Angle decides he'd better meet him out on the ramp - right by Kane, right, right, put in the ring - Kane going BETWEEN the ropes (when's he EVER done that?), so Angle clocks him and Tests him in the ropes - Angle outside - stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Angle under the ring for some plundah - he catches on quick! Unfortunately, he holds a garbage can right in front of his face - and gets a big boot to the can. Kane outside - press and drop on the barricade. truth Double Feature likes the can shot. Vertical suplex out on the floor! Kane has a can - WHACK! Paul Heyman doesn't know there's a light heavyweight championship, I guess, since he keeps saying this is the one belt Angle's never won. Kane puts Angle back in the ring, and follows. Pressed up - but Angle wriggles free and drops down to find an ankle...but Kane turns it over and gets him away. Angle with a garbage can lid - "classic Olympic style," proclaims Heyman. Angle going up top - Kane is over to beal him onto a garbage can! Kane motioning for the chokeslam - but WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW rumbles out - elbow to the back, Final Cut (!), Angle covers - Show pulls him off and headbutts him down, HE covers Kane - 1, 2, NO! Well it's a big right hand - Kane fires back - rights traded - Angle over with a clothesline and now it's a hastily-fashioned doubleteam. Well here comes TAKER - Soupbone for Angle, another, soupbone for Show, three more, Show pinballing between Kane and Taker - Angle pops up and nails Show to show he's a team player - but they ain't buying it - double punch for Angle. Show put into the ropes - DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!! Kane covers as Angle backs up the ramp. 1, 2, 3, and Kane retains. (3:55) Taker lays a "NO DUMPING ALLOWED" sign on Show's carcass as Kane sets the turnbuckles alight.

Back in Vince's office, he asks if Ross is comfortable. He brought him here to get him in the right frame of mind. Ross declines coffee. Vince wants nothing but the very best for WWF fans - he wants Ross to go out with a clear conscience and work as he normally does, so to get him in the right frame of mind, he's invited Steve Austin to join them. Austin takes the seat next to Ross on the couch. "You don't mind if I join ya, do ya? ... Pretty little cowboy hat you've got on, son." "Now, just calm down JR - this isn't exactly what it looks like. No, you see, we're here to ENTERTAIN you - and in a few minutes, we're gonna show some movies." Ross puts on his best glum face.

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago, when Angle Kane Show Taker. Look for Taker to say "now" - Kane does NOT do karaoke during this replay

Show holds his back and WALKS! backstage. KEVIN "NAILZ" KELLY asks for his reaction to what just went down. Show is displeased with Taker sticking his nose in his business - he wants him tonight, one on one, and we'll find out just whose yard this is.

Meanwhile, Vince has a movie for Ross - "The Life and Times of Good Ol' JR" - Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! - aka "Read the SmackDown! report" - aka FUHFUHWID - every minute or so we cut to a reaction shot from these three - mainly, Steve Austin patting Ross on the shoulder and Vince mugging for the camera - I liked this segment a lot better the FIRST time I saw it, by the way...hey, why'd they bother to bleep it TONIGHT? I mean, this ain't JAKKED...where I also saw this clip...oh, they edited out Cole and Tazz, okay. Man, that blood sure looks SICK. Okay, I admit it - I'm not fast forwarding COMPLETELY through this - but, damn, couldn't this segment have been better utilised? Back to Vince. "Now, then - what you think of our film? Is that a double thumbs up or what, JR?" Austin: "Don't eyeball me. Don't you dare eyeball me, you son of a bitch." Watching that tape makes Austin realise just how weak and pathetic JR is. "Don't ever look at me like that. I ain't got nothin' else to say to you," so he takes off. "So now...are ya in the...right frame of mind to go to work tonight, JR?" "Oh yeah." "Good...good." "I've also talked to my attorney, and he tells me I got a hell of a lawsuit here if I choose to go that way...but that's never been my style...so...my other options, I guess - I could just quit tonight." "Oh yeah - ya know, you're the quittin' kind, aren'cha - is that - is that what you wanna do, you wanna quit?" "And, if I quit tonight, Vince, uh, I'm goin' to work tomorrow for your son (Shane) down in WCW." Vince's expression changes. "So if you'll excuse me, I"ve got a job to do - I'm goin' to work." "You better damn well do it, too!"

Kane scooter Stacker 2

Kane items or less Stacker 2

*Damn!* It was TRUTH that stole the speakers out of my car!

Here's a look at the Budweiser billboard tacked to the wall of the Fleet Center

LARRY KING makes his delayed entrance - Heyman mutters about the show doing just fine without him...then gets euphoric when Ross is actually within earshot. Too funny!

CRASH & MOLLY HOLLY (with Let Us Take You Back to Monday) v. RHYNO in a handicap match - No matter how you slice it, it's still SQAUSH. Molly never gets in, making the Highlight of this match the wwf.com logo appearing and disappearing. (Gore -> pin Crash 1:29) Post-match, Rhyno is ready to gore Molly once again, but KOOL MOE DEE makes his triumphant return and gives him three punches and a clothesline (but not with the bionic, deadly arm - oh, wait)

Backstage, Vince tells Stephanie he has a feeling tonight will be an unusual night, and it's not a good feeling. Stephanie tells him not to worry about JR, Shane or WCW - Vince says it's his business to worry about things - the monitor behind them magically cuts from the picture you and I are watching to a picture of Linda's limousine pulling up and LInda getting out...Vince asks for water.

XFL on UPN Playoff hype (the what?) The XFL! Don't you remember the XFL? (Hmmm, doesn't ring a bell)

I don't know if I fast-forwarded by one of these tonight or not, but here's MY first "The Mummy Returns" ad - you have to look close to see the Rock since they don't mention him, but he's definitely in the ad

Are Kirby and Jigglypuff related?

Time now for the WWF Slam of the Week - brought to you by Castrol Motor Oily! From last night on Heat, the Dudleyz interfere on Spike's behalf in his match against Lita - huh? I really should start watching this show again

Linda is WALKING! She meets and greets the Acolytes - then checks out a photo session with CREEPY Chyna

MICHAEL KING COLE stands with Spike Dudley, who isn't afraid to admit he lost to Lita - X-Pac, Justin Credible and Albert enter the picture to lay it on thick - 'Pac: "I've heard of laying down for women before (sure, sure), but never in the wrestling ring, punk!" Spike says he'll be happy to fight his own battles without his brother - Albert blocks the coffee toss (for the most part) and then yaaaaaaaaah tosses him into the cyclone fencing. Good yuks are had by all - then 'Pac kicks him while he's down, just for good measure.

Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! when Chris Jericho saved Chris Benoit from a broken ankle - Later that Night, Triple H won the intercontinental title from Jericho when Regal snuck in a little revenge, STEEL chair style

JONATHAN COACHMAN responds to the commissioner's summons - Regal has decided that tonight, Jericho and Benoit need to have the next chapter in their classic rivalry and it's up to the Coach to deliver the good news.

Meanwhile, Big Show is WALKING!

Meanwhile, Taker is BOXING WITH SHADOWS

And now, the Blast of the Night, brought to you by JVC's big ol' boombox! From SmackDown! last Thursday, Show opens the wrong door - and Kane and Taker said "We're the Brothers of Destruction and WE can't tolerate BAD MANNERS!"

WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW (with Earlier Tonight) v. TAKER (on his Beautiful Titan Bike - oh sure, they SAY it's some other brand, but YOU and I know better) - Hey, remember when these guys were SUCH good friends that they ACTUALLY had their own theme? Neither do the writers! Highlight of this match is the finisher, which sees Taker thwart a Ten Punch Count Along by powerbombing him off the second rope for the pin. (1:33) Show jobbed twice tonight - I think his head is in the right place, already.

Holy cow! Linda McMahon is WALKING!

"WWF Divas in Hedonism" video ad

WWF RAW hits the Compaq Center at San Jose Monday May 21st! Tix on sale Saturday! Wait a minute - the WHERE? Did they name the Arena and not tell me? Sheeeeeeeeeeit.

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago and the only good move in the previous match - from two angles, even.

Good ol' LINDA McMAHON - she'll *always* come out to "WrestleMania." Sign in crowd: "GO for the NADS Linda" - stonedgoat.com? Here's the RAW Credits. "Thank you." TV-14-DLV ratings box. "Thank you ALL, all of you, very very much. I came here tonight because I wanted to make three announcements. One: as you can see, and as I said last week, I have fully recovered and of sound body and mind...and I have resumed all of my responsibilities as the CEO of the World Wrestling Federation. Secondly, I want to again say how proud I am of my son (Shane), who did...a tall-standing McMahon who did what he felt he had to do at WrestleMania. And Shane, I want you to know that I wish you all the luck and the world and success with your new acquisition. My third announcement, and my most obvious reason for being here tonight doesn't really involve so much my son (Shane) and me, but it is about my husband (Vincent K. McMahon). So, Vince being the one who ALWAYS likes to do things in such a public fashion, I would like to request his presence to join me here, In This Very Ring." Well hit the music, BILLIONAIRE VINCE saunters out - Vince wants the big hug but Linda stops him. Vince wants to settle for the handshake - and gets a head shake instead. Vince gets angry and goes looking for a mic. "All right, okay, all right. I know why you're here. And, quite frankly, I admire you for it. I know why you're here - you - you came out here...to apologise to me. You came out here, Linda, that's your announcement, you wanna apologise to me for what you did at WrestleMania. You wanna apologise to me for kicking me in the...gonads. So go ahead!" "Vince...shut...up. I'M the one who's gonna do the talking in this ring tonight. Maybe you recall, or maybe you don't, the last time you and I had a public chat in the ring. I do remember it. It was last December in Madison Square Garden. But in case you don't remember, let's take a little stroll down memory lane with this little piece of videotape." You can almost hear the audience audibly groan at having to endure another clip. Vince wants a *divorce*. Vince talks over the end of the clip... "I was just a little angry that night - I didn't--" "Angry? ANGRY? You weren't just angry, Vince, you were furious. You were over-the-top furious. And you made me ill. I was stunned - but I guess anyone would be when something like that comes out of the blue after thirty-four years of marriage. I admit it, Vince...you broke my heart. And...you did make me ill. You - you made me sick. But not sick enough that I should have been put in a private sanitarium and medicated heavily against my will...but then, you didn't stop. The next few months, you kept saying 'you KNOW that you can hear me, you know what's goin' on, watch this' and then you did THING after THING, episode after episode, so in case you don't remember, Vince, let's take a look at THAT footage because I want you to see how sick I think YOU are...please!" Let Us Take You Back Three Months where Trish Stratus deserves a spanking - Vince talks to Linda's doctor on the phone and doubles the medication - Two Months Ago, Trish sits in a bathtub and Vince takes off to meet her - Valentine's Day, Vince steals Linda's flowers and gives them to Trish - is it just me or are all these clips from SmackDown!? Back to Linda: "And all of that then finally led to the match at WrestleMania, when you and Shane had your match, and I have to tell you a lot of wrongs were righted at WrestleMania - Trish kept the doctors away, I wasn't so heavily medicated, and Trish even got to slap you across the face. Then, Mick Foley pummeled you senseless into the corner. I had a very - strategic - kick. Then Shane finished it off with a dropkick into the trashcan for the 1, 2, 3. Now, there are a lot of people, Vince, who would think that I had revenge enough...but I'm not one of those people." "Whoa whoa whoa whoa - wait just a minute, okay, then I'll give you what you want, I know what you want - and I'll give it to you. I'll do this because...I've always been the one to sacrifice in our relationship so I'll do it one more time, okay? And I'll do it here. All right? What you want is...okay, I'll give it to you. Publicly, I will - I.....apologise. Now wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'll go one step further, here we go. (on knee) Just like it was 34 years ago when I asked you to make the right decision then and you did, all I'm asking for ya is to make the right decision now, Linda - that's all I'm asking. Read my lips, Linda...I humbly, truthfully apologise for my actions." Pause. Linda puts a hand on his shoulder. "Vince...I didn't come here for an apology. You read my lips - *I* WANT A DIVORCE." Now play "WrestleMania!" "Whoa oh, whoa oh..."

XFL on NBC playoff hype (hmm, that SHOULD ring a bell, but it doesn't...)

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago - no, let's NOT, in fact

Backstage, Linda is ready to head into her limo - but first, Lita catches up to her to let her know how inspiring she found the previous segment. Wow, didn't take HER long to suck up, eh? Linda gets in the limo...and Vince catches up and demands she roll down the window. But she drives off instead. Vince looks back at Lita...and fixes a gaze on her that roots her to the spot. "So! 'Inspiring!'" "Yeah, I just wanted to comment--" "Shut up. I tell you what's inspiring to me. YOU - in a match tonight - against my daughter Stephanie. No, it's better than that - you can bring the Hardy Boyz, okay? This is gonna be a six PERSON tag team match - you and the Hardyz against Stephanie, against Triple H, and Stone Cold Steve Austin. 'Inspiring.'"

THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ - ALL THREE OF 'EM v. THREE CRACKERS WITH MUSIC BY UNKLE CRACKER - yup, Team X Factor's new music was so great they've already replaced it with another version! Wahoo! Pier Six Brawl outside the ring to start and allow me to read your mind: you're thinking "when is the next McMahon segment and/or SmackDown! clip?" Buh Buh Ray puts Credible into the ring, so let's watch them: block, right by Dudley, into the opposite corner, Credible goes up and down and comes back to take Uncle Slam - check that, a Buh Buh Bomb. Head to the buckle, tag to Spike - right hand, into the corner, Credible slides under and points to his head...but Spike clocks him anyway. Free shot for Albert, NO SALE - Albert holds him but Spike ducks Credible's shot and Albert eats it - double noggin knocker for 'Pac and Credible - Spike up top - DIVES onto Albert - but he just catches him and yaaaaaaah rams his back into the ringpost. truth brings the noise a second time with a Double Feature. Tag to X-Pac - blatant choke with the bandana. Spike punches back as the wwf.com logo plays "Where's Waldo?" a second time. X-Pac ducks a swing and lands a spin kick. Gore in the friendly corner, tag to Credible. Into the ropes, double clothesline ducked, double flapjack countered with a...double face jam, let's say. Can Spike make the hot tag? Why yes he can! In comes D-Von - avoids a swing from X-Pac and clotheslines down Credible, right for X-pac, free shot for Albert, Credible with a right, into the ropes is reversed, nice powerslam by Dudley, X-Pac saves at 2. Well, all six men are into it now and it ain't purty, folks. D-Von sidesteps a yaaaaaaaavalanche and Credible eats it. Double clothesline by Buh Buh Ray and D-Von puts Albert out - 3D (Dudley Death Drop) on Credible - D-Von covers - 1, 2, 3. (2:38) Post-match, X-Pac - yes, X-Pac - gets "What Are You Doing?" Testify dance. D-Von, let's eat maple. I LOVE it at Levitz, but no sooner is the table in the ring than Albert is back in - yaaaaaah double clothesline puts both D-Von and Buh Buh Ray down. In comes Spike - down goes Spike, tossed to the floor off a yaaah press. Again D-Von and Buh Buh Ray are back up and putting Albert outside. The table is put in place - X-Pac is whipped into position...but Credible rescues him from 3D (Dudley Death Drop) by an ankle grab. Albert is back in AGAIN - Baldobomb for Buh Buh Ray through the table! Play Uncle Cracker again! Almost all three of them trip over Spike's corpse while backing up the aisle - heh.

Vince packs up - he's headed out after his wife. Stephanie and Helmsley show concern about being booked in a six-man, but Vince asks them to PLEASE not be so damn selfish all the time, thinking only of themselves...

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho is WALKING!

Replace "Jericho" with "Benoit" and Bob's your UNCLE!

While Jeff twiddles his thumbs, Matt and Lita have a talk about how they got into this match. Matt proclaims tonight will be "inspiring" for sure. Jeff is pumped for the match, though - this is a big opportunity for them, hot on the heels after their win over Big Show.

CHRIS BENOIT (with WWF: The Music [Volume 5] CD cover & RAW is WAR is brought to you by M&M's, FRAM!, and the JVC GigaTube) v. CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO in a "we're mates - but not *those* kinda mates" match - also, the loser can't call himself "Chris" anymore - we're ready to go but there's an important missing ingredient in this match...the *screwjob waiting to happen*, so the lack of a zebra in the ring is remedied as the music of COMMISSIONER REGAL fires up - ha ha, YOU thought there'd be some WRESTLING tonight! "Being the WWF commissioner, and having made this match for my friends, the fans, I think I am the ONLY gentlemen that has the honour and the dignity to officiate such an epic battle." Here we go. Feeling out process to start - finally they lock up - Jericho pushes to the corner, Benoit reverses, Regal breaks it up and tells them to "bloody get on with it" - hey, I thought the closed fists were illegal! Lockup, Benoit with a knee, knee, into the ropes, duck, flying jalapeno by Jericho! Gutshot, another kick, Benoit catches the next one and hits the dragon screw legwhip - kick, kick, kick, elbow, into the opposite corner, boot up by Jericho. Drop toehold by Benoit, going for the crossface but Jericho flips out - both men back to their feet. Gutshot by Jericho, "Regal sux" chant starts up, elbow, into the ropes is reversed, rollup by Jericho, Benoit tries to roll into a crossface, Jericho up and tries a double leg, Benoit grabs the bottom rope and Regal demands a break. Jericho catches the chop attempt, underhook, DOUBLE underhook, into a backbreaker by Jericho - cover - Regal slowly over to count - 1, check...kickout before 2. Benoit with a double sledge as Jericho protests - gutshot, into the corner, forearm to the back as he backs out, another forearm, forearm, waistlock, German suplex - but as he covers, Regal is waving to the fans. Benoit spins him around - Jericho from behind, forearm, into the ropes is reversed, but Jericho gets the elbow up. Jericho on the second rope...but the missile dropkick hits Regal when Benoit uses him as a shield! Jericho with a clothesline for Benoit. Regal with a surprise elbow for Jericho - and one for Benoit. Regal giving some mouth to both men...they're back up and eyeballing HIM - Regal continuing to remind them that he's in charge - Jericho with a gutshot, Benoit with a right, Jericho with a right, Benoit removes Regal's ref shirt, Jericho chops, Benoit chops, Jericho chops, Benoit with a death suplex, Jericho with a Lionsault, Benoit with a swandive headbutt, Jericho with the Walls of Jericho AND Benoit with the Crippler crossface - Regal taps (like that'll help) - the bell rings (Double DQ? No contest? 3:50) as the REAL REFS come out to get Jericho to release his hold - Benoit takes a little longer to remove HIS. Play Jericho's music! (Why Jericho's music?) Hey, I'M not the guy running the show here. Jericho and Benoit finally remember to give each other uneasy stares.

"The Mummy Returns" ad #2 (I think) - there's that Rock guy again - come to think of it, this is the only time we'll see him tonight, isn't it...

I watched "That's My Bush" for about two minutes and then realised...maybe I *was* just a bit too old to fit the demographic of people who would enjoy this show - by which I mean, "older than about 14"

XFL hype - FUHFUHWID - MY dream is no more XFL hype

Did JR have all those funny lookin' wounds on Saturday's telecast? Did anybody actually WATCH on Saturday who could tell me? Saturday's playoff is San Francisco at Orlando; Sunday's is Chicago at Los Angeles. Aw, shucks, no New York game to show? Phone numbers are given for tix for Los Angeles and Orlando - if you want 'em, go visit their site 'cause I got no TIME for you

Earlier Today, the RtC accosted Raven backstage - and the cameras were there. Richards: "May we have a word? We are only trying to help you. Look at yourself, Raven. The world is crept in and let you corrupt your very soul. Follow us - and we can change that!" Venis: "What we stand for, Raven, is just and true. You see, we have meaning in our lives, and today we're here to share that joy with you." Raven: "Shhhhhh - No, fate - fate has brought you to me, and destiny - destiny will expose your hypocritical convictions, and pain - pain will be your penance. Fate, destiny and pain." Venis pulls him back. "If you're not with us, Raven, you're against us, and that is not a place you want to be." "The only place that I don't wanna be is trapped inside your belief systems!" Ladies and gentlemen...we have a face turn?

Here's a look at rainy, rainy WWF New York

Inside, EDGE & CHRISITIAN have a "7x champions" cake. Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight when Rhyno gored Crash, Molly tried a sleeper and got shrugged off, but Hardcore saved the day in the end. Edge pronounces it "B-R-UTAL" and gives the Hollys a tag team shot for Thursday. Seven sodas with umbrellas ('cause sodas rule), a seven-layer cake, and for the benefit of those with flash photography...a seven-second pose. Hit Edge's music! I think that was about thirteen seconds.

Triple H and Steve Austin have a strategy chat. Stephanie: "Do you guys wanna include me on this?" Triple H: "Naw...we're done." He promises that this is gonna be good...

"WWF: The Music (Volume 5)" ad

BALD VENIS (with Steven Richards & Goodfather & Wall Buchanan) v. CAW CAW CAW (with "WWF: The Music [Volume 5]" CD cover) Tix go on sale this Saturday for Judgment Day in Sacramento! God willing, I WILL get those sweet seats! (Wait, didn't you want to get San Jose RAW tickets Saturday?) Aw, shit - NOW how do I make it work? Ross says "hi" to the Rock, making it the first time (not counting the "Rock E" chant in the SmackDown! highlight and CD ads) the man's name is said during the show. Kick by Venis, right, right, right, into the opposite corner is reversed, off the ropes with a clothesline by Raven, kneelift, into the corner, clothesline followup, bulldog out, all Raven, right, into the ropes, reversed, Raven holds on, gutshot, Evenflow DDT - 1, 2, Richards pulls Raven off of Venis. Raven with an Evenflow on the floor on Richards! 1, 2, Buchanan pulls referee "Blind" Teddy Long outside to have a chat. Goodfather in with a double sledge - into the corner, Censor Train splash, Venis covers - 1, 2, NO! Venis with the Perfectplex - 1, 2, NO! That move NEVER works. Goodfather on the apron to argue with Long - behind his back, Buchanan hits the scissors kick - Venis with the Censor shot - 1, 2, 3. What was the point? Maybe we'll find out later. Then again....maybe we won't. (1:44)

Team Xtreme is WALKING!

Steve Austin and the Helmsleys are single-file WALKING!

"Mick Foley: Hard Knocks & Cheap Pops" video ad

HARDY BOYZ & LITA (with Castrol Motor Oily presents Backlash!) v. THE NEW MAN & STEPHANIE CAN'T ACT and STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN in frosty, chilly, intergender action - Heyman *really* wants "Billion Dollar Princess" to get over as a catchphrase, but it ain't workin' with me. Austin and H take it to the Hardyz while Lita...watches on until Stephanie elbows her from behind, taking her outside. The Hardyz are turning it around, in the meantime, Austin out, Helmsley out, Hardyz ready to pose. Helmsley back in and on Matt - to the corner, right, kick, right, right, right, right, right by Hardy, right by H, right by Hardy, right by H, truth Double Feature, right by Hardy, right, discus right and H goes down. H up - Jeff punches him down again. Tag to Jeff. Into the corner, Poetry in Motion on H. Austin in without a tag - Matt with a right, and a right - into the corner, Poetry in Motion on *Austin*. Matt clotheslines him out - and OFF COME THE SHIRTS SQUEEEEEEEEAL. Jeff on top - Austin takes a powder on the outside, so Jeff tries a corkscrew moonsault onto Triple H in the ring...only, MAYBE his elbow hit (if anything). Still, Austin pulls Jeff off the cover - just in case. Jeff with a right for Austin and back in - man, this whole match is HIGHLY UNLIKELY - shoulder in the gut for H - sunset flip in...but H steadies himself - Matt in with a clothesline to complete the sunset flip - 1, 2, NO! Matt with a right, H put in the ropes...but he hits a facebuster to turn it around. Tag to Austin. Matt reverses a head to the buckle attempt by ramming *Austin's* head into the buckle - and again - and give more times - right, right, right, right, right, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, he's fired up! Austin goes to the eyes to bring it back - Matt into the ropes, Austin with a sleeper. Hardy turns in and hits a death suplex. On the second rope - ahhhh legdrop. 1, 2, NO! Austin to the corner, tag to Jeff, gutshot, into the ropes, reversed - did Jeff want to counter the spinebuster with a DDT? Austin didn't go along, so we'll call it an Austin spinebuster. Austin motions to Triple H, drawing over referee "Blind" Tim White - behind his back, Austin parts the legs and stomps betwixt 'em. Up by the hair - right hand down. Right hand by Austin. Tag to Triple H, Austin standing on the neck while H stomps away. Right by H, right by Jeff, right, back elbow for Austin, right for H, back elbow for Austin, H with a drop toehold - tag - Austin with an Up Yours elbow off the ropes. Blatant choke for 4. Austin gives White a look. Hairmare - Austin off the ropes with a kneedrop. Austin standing on the hair and tugging on the arms. Head stomp. Tag to Triple H. Crowd chanting "Lita." Stomp by H, stomp by Austin. Knee by H. Jeff crawls to the corner...H waits a bit, then drops an elbow well short of his corner. H pulls him back - trying to tag Austin - Jeff lands on enzuigiri (but he doesn't "score," Ross - you've been good all night, but at the same time, you've had nothing to call) - Jeff starts crawling as H tags Austin...who stops him, grabbing a boot - Jeff manages a mule kick to get *Austin* away...H grabs the ankle again - but Jeff dives and tags Matt - double clothesline from the top! Right for H, right for Austin, right, right, into the ropes is reversed, Austin runs Matt out of the ring and follows. To the barricade we go - to the commentary table - and again to the table. Jeff flies out onto Triple H - back in the ring, Lita is in and bringing Stephanie in the hard way - Twist of Fate! Lita going up for the moonsault - and landing it! 1, 2, 3! (7:00) I don't think either woman was legal - oh well. H is in and he's pissed - Lita turns around and quick doubletakes. Austin is behind HER with a chair - Lita turns round again and comes face to face with Austin - will he swing it? Well, he doesn't have to - Triple H from behind with an elbow to the back of the head. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Pedigree coming up - aaaayup. Matt in and spearing H - Austin chairs Jeff...then gets Matt in the back - and again. Austin puts the edge of the chair into Matt's sternum six or seven times, WHACKS Matt in the back a few more times - Lita covers Matt...WHACK! WHACK! WHACK WHACK WHACK - Austin with the edge of the chair in Lita's abdomen - THREE times! Jeff gets a Pedigree as Austin puts the edge of the chair to Lita one more time. H has Lita up by the hair for all of us to see - wait, I don't think Austin is finished. Austin with a middle finger - KICK WHAM STUNNER! Austin is Disturbed! Credits, WWF logo, see ya Thursday...when it MIGHT be a good idea to start putting on some MATCHES once again...

AFTER THE FACT: Thanks to Justin McIsaac (who knows Jakked enhancement talent Alex Arion *personally* and also recommends the All Star Wrestling show if you live in New Hampshire) and Brian Heavey, but it's our old friend from OSCS, John Orquiola, who sent in the first on-site report. So go visit oursocalledsport.com already and PREPARE TO LAUGH!!

CRZ,

Just got back from a grueling endurance test of a live RAW from the FleetCenter. I enjoyed the show when there was a show to enjoy and we weren't just watching last week's Smackdown on the Titan Tron, but the crowd's enthusiasm was killed off pretty quickly during that first hour. 19,000 people watching three people on a video screen watching last week's wrestling promo on a TV screen is pretty damn ridiculous. Of course, to alleviate boredom, the crowd chanted "Yankees suck!" all night long. Really, Boston fans are some of the most insecure sports fans on Earth. Oh, it's true, it's true.

Here's the stuff that wasn't shown or will be shown this weekend on the best (and only?) wrestling show in syndication, Jakked.

Prototype defeated Chris Chetti in the opener. It was neat to see Chris Chetti and people in the crowd seemed to recognize him. They booed him anyway. Prototype was pretty green, which one would expect by his name. There are a lot of kinks to be ironed out before the final draft is issued. Lots of blind charges in the corner, which would become a theme of these dark matches. Chetti used a lot of martial arts style kicks. Prototype pinned him with some spinning something or other. Neither man looked particularly good in the match.

Scott Vick and Steve Bradley defeated the Haas Brothers. If Prototype was green, the Haas Brothers were Kermit the Frog. They did a pretty impressive car crash sequence outside of the ring. I lost track of who exactly was doing what but one of the men dove through the ropes and smacked his head and shoulders into the aisle pretty good. There was also a pretty sweet Asai moonsault done by one of the four men, I just don't remember who. Bradley used a very fast reverse Shake Rattle and Roll neckbreaker (Roll, Rattle and Shake?) to get the pin.

Jerry Lynn defeated the American Dragon. The crowd seemed to know who Lynn was and responded favorably. Lots of counters and reversals in the opening part of the match. Lynn used a few different moves to try to put Dragon away, including a tornado DDT, but Dragon escaped the three. Lynn finally put him away with some sort of tilt a whirl-like sit out power bomb. Pretty decent action. Dragon seemed disheartened at having to lay down in his native country but he gave a game effort.

Jakked tapings were up next. Coach got a surprisingly warm reception, while Dr. Tom Prichard and Kevin Kelly followed behind without much acknowledgement. A special treat for me was hearing "Badstreet, USA" live as Michael Hayes came out. Jeff, Lance and I agreed that Buddy Jack Roberts was the ugliest and least likable Freebird. I dropped the name Jimmy Jam Garvin several times, mostly because it's fun to say.

Grandmaster Sexay and Steve Blackman defeated Kaientai. I remember as recently as the last time the WWF was in Boston back in November, it was unfashionable to root for Kaientai. Now, the place goes nuts when they come out. This was a fun little match. Hip Hop Drop finished Funaki and then it was time for Too Lethal to dance. Blackman doesn't even pretend he doesn't want to anymore. First truly big pops of the night were, in ascending order of volume, Too Lethal's intro, "Indeed!", and then the dancing. All four corners lit up in pyro for the dancing.

At this point, I was starting to feel a little down and I needed a pick me up. I needed Haku. And then out Haku came to take on a jobber, which was just delightful. Howard Finkel by this time was just inaudible on the mic when it came to announcing the names. Jeff astutely observed as the match progressed that Haku has eliminated selling from his wrestling style. A Tongan Death Grip garnished the squash rather quickly. No Kick of Fear, and there I was all ready to pop for one. Crowd was really not interested anyway. Oh, and I hear the "Yankees suck!" In fact, I heard that a lot.

The Radicalz defeated two more jobbers whose names didn't carry well at all via Finkel's annunciation over the house sound system. I actually left to get some pizza here, but by all accounts I didn't miss much.

K-Kwik defeated Swinger. I hate K-Kwik and as a general rule I don't watch his matches unless he's being squashed, so I concentrated on my pizza.

Lillian came out and by popular demand, we forgoed the national anthem. Paul Heyman came out to Limp Bizkit's "My Way" and man, what a relief. I was getting worried there since it had been almost a whole day since I'd heard that song. Heyman got some cheers but mostly boos. He is not liked by the vast majority of the fans and the disparaging comments I heard seemed to indicate they are displeased with his announcing.

RAW time. You all saw the show of course. The crowd was really unhappy and bored during the replay of Smackdown. It really didn't help that we just couldn't hear what was being said during the backstage vignettes. The in house audio for the promos and vignettes was pretty bad all night.

I would be remiss if I didn't comment on the match OUR so-called SPORT has long waited for, the big blowoff between the Undertaker and the Big Show. Mind you, we saw the Big Show walking, we saw the Taker shadow boxing, we knew the match was next, during the break we heard the Harley revving up backstage, but we NEVER saw the stairs moved from the ring corners. I just don't understand how that is. Anyway, holy crap, I loved this match. Now I don't normally rate matches, but this match needs a rating. What else? *******3/4 A near perfect match, which loses 1/4 * because Show got some offense in. Taker rolled off on his bike after the match, while the Show Frankenstein staggered all the way up the ramp, still selling the debilitating effects of the Last Ride.

Triple H and Stone Cold got tremendous babyface pops for their entrances, but all those good feelings went away when they beat the living sh*t out of Lita. That was a heel tour de force. It was pretty awe inspiring to see the vicious bastard Steve Austin back with a vengeance. That beatdown was just heel-rrific. After the cameras stopped rolling, Triple H and Austin tossed the Hardys and Lita out of the ring. Lita took a really nasty spill over the top rope. Austin then yelled at JR, yelled at Lillian, drank a lot of beer, gave some beer to Triple H and Stephanie, drank even more beer, beat on Matt Hardy, drank more beer, Stunnered a referee on the aisle, and picked fights with the ringside crowd. Austin kept teasing that he'd come back to the ring when the Hardys were staggering to their feet, but he and the Game eventually retreated backstage as the Hardys got their music played.

But let me tell you, I heard not a single ROCKY chant all night. There was no mention of the Rock, his merchandise was not even pushed by Lillian or the Fink. Boston was never really a Rock town, and it looks like at least in Boston, the Rock is happily forgotten about for the time being.

And that is that. Not the best show I've ever been to, but the main event was hot and I had a good enough time. Now, if I could, I'd like to sneak in a quick plug for my humble little website, oursocalledsport.com. I swear there will be new material on the site in a few days so please check us out. Now I've gotta get some sleep.

Peace out.