|WWF RAW is WAR by The Cubs Fan||
for over 50 seconds, the world leader
Last Thursday, Jeff Hardy certainly did know what he was getting into - voice
overs additions courtesy Triple H from Heat. There's your new champion - there's
your reaction, there's your reaction from Heat. Jeff Hardy's DEAD, man, but I
don't think he's got a big anything. (No offense Jeff, because you must be
reading this.) (1:05)
Fireworks are loud, Raw is War, and look at all those signs. There's a Mancow
sign in University of Tennessee? I'll be. We're Live on TNN and TSN (maybe) and
WWF NY. What a night it might be.
Backstage, Grandmaster Sexay is checking out a flashing light - and then
gives Shane his special handshake. "Hey man, what you did to your pops, Vin
Mac, that booyay attack, that took some major sack! And hey man, everyone wants
to know, what's with the Washcu?" "What?" "The WCW!"
"Check this out, WCW is sublime, it's just a matter of time."
"Sublime, time, I like it!" "I holler at you man, I'll drop you a
dime." Oh, here's the Big Show to break up out fun - he shoos Sexay away
("why you gotta be so mean, jolly green!"), and asks Shane if he's
hear to see his match. Shane says he was actually here to see Vince, but since
he's gone, Shane's gonna go home too. Show talks about his match - and spouts a
racial slur! Nice work, censor. (Or bad work if Show was just gonna say
"goofs" - you figure it out.) Anyway, Shane says he'll watch from his
hotel room as he takes off. "We go ways back, we got to talk, I've got some
ideas to talk about!"
The Castrol GTX RTC Break Up of the Week.
Coach talks to Steven Richards - is the RTC coming apart? Shockingly, Steven says that it's not. They're just frustrated about being unable to recruit people. Tonight, he'll right the wrong - lead the charge - fight for righteous - fight for justice - fight for the title that he opposes most tonight." the Hardcore Title. When he wins the title, everyone will be happy and together again.
Meanwhile, Kurt Angle isn't happy about Regal putting him in a match with Jericho and he's telling Edge and Christian. He probably shouldn't be saying things about him while he's standing right behind him. Christian: "*cough*rightbehindyou*" It takes Regal to tap him to realize he's there, but Angle's unfazed. Surprisingly, Regal just wants a chat over tea. Christian: "*cough*regalsteaisurine." Angle: "Christian, you should a doctor about that."
Steve Austin to Michael Cole: "SHUT UP!" You make it hard for me to hate you, Stone Cold. Before Austin really gets going about Smackdown (but after he blows off questions about Debra), Matt Hardy punks out Steve Austin. Wait, Matt Hardy just punked out Steve Austin? Wow. Matt's pissed about Lita, Steve's now pissed about everything.
Moments ago, Matt attacked Steve Austin from behind and beat him till he was pulled off by refs.
In their locker room, Steph and Hunter converse. Austin interrupts and decides that now is a good time to kill Hardyz. Hunter wants to wait so he can get that IC Title back. Austin wants to be out there so he can do it now. Triple H doesn't want him there to get DQed - go to the hotel, relax. Austin...does. For a moment there, it looked like the honeymoon was over but I guess not. Funny to see Hunter bossing Austin around.
Steven Richards vs Kane (w/WWF the Music volume 5) - Steven throws weapons in the ring (and almost hitting Lillian) before getting in. Steven stares a hole through Richards, but Kane doesn't appear to be attempted. Ring posts go a fire, but Steven doesn't flinch. Trash can shot, trash can shot, trash can shot, and Kane doesn't flinch. Right and Steven is thrown out of the ring. Shockingly, nothing is broke. Steven's heading to the back - wait, let's stop to get some more punches in. Thrown into the guard rail. Right. Shot into a ladder. Steven crawls back to the curtain, and he's whipped in a tool box. Behind the curtain own, and Steven is seemingly rethinking this. Right. The announcers keep telling us how fragile the RTC is, they're falling apart, they're certainty not going to come together to attack Kane in the back. Thrown into a garage door. Thrown into a guardrail in the back. This is all Kane, I should mention that at some point. Right. Rubber trash can shot. Wait, Steven isn't stupid enough to try this all by himself, right? They're sure taking long enough. Back into a garage area, that 2X4 shot from Kane would have killed Steven if he didn't duck. Steven Richards opts to hide underneath a truck, and finally, here's the Goodfather, Val Venis and Bull Buchanan to help out. Kane takes them down initially but three on one goes to the three eventually. Too bad the Undertaker just pulled in a truck. He gets out, he beats RTC. That ends that. I think Steven's still hiding under a truck - nope, now he's up and running but can't get far. Kane picks him up over his shoulder - and he's thrown like a dart into the truck! Actually more like rammed, but I'll take it where I can get it. One two three. (3:07) Taker to Steven: "Hey, thank you. You know If I was you, I would forget about the good fight and find myself a good woman."
Elsewhere, Angle sits - now he walks down stairs. Chris Jericho walks by a truck. Not the same one, I think.
Moments ago, Undertake arrived and beat up people. But not Kane
Debra paces - Austin barges in and says they're going home. It took him that long to get back to his room?
Kurt Angle (w/Let's Go Back To The Handicap Match On Smackdown and the RAW credits six minutes early) vs Chris Jericho: Angle gets three words out ("Your Olympic Hero") before Jericho's music interrupts him. Jericho has something to say: "Unless you were going to finishes that sentence with 'is a complete and utter assclown.' then junior, you've got nothing left to say, so please - please Shut the Hell Up." Play his music! This match over already? Oh, no. Right, right, right, whip, chop, chop, whip, clothesline ducked, Angle's shoulderblock hits. Off the ropes, under the leapfrog, right into the chop. Armdrag into a armbar, Angle reverses it into a leg scissors, Jericho flips over for a somersault cover for one two, Angle reverses to backslide for one two. Chop, chop, chop misses, Angle with rights, and kicks in the corner. Right. Corner whip, Jericho comes back with a clothesline. Whip, hiptoss. Springboard dropkick knocks Angle to the floor. Jericho kills Angle with a baseball slide dropkick to the back. Both out, and Jericho with a right, then a Stun Gun on the barricade. Pulling him around by his head - I think he was trying to throw him into the ring bulls but didn't hit it right. Angle grabs the bell and covertly uses it, then slams Jericho into the commentary table. There's another shot. Thrown back in. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Snap suplex. Snap Suplex, one two. Right, no Jericho blocks it and hits his own, and another. Push in the corner, right, corner whip, reversed, charge in but Jericho gets boot. Up to the second rope, but jumping right into the belly to belly over head suplex. Angle Woos. The fans Boo. Back suplex, cover, one, two. Chinlock, push down to the mat to try to get a corner. Jericho up to one knee, up to his feet, elbow, elbow, elbow smash, whip, reversed, knee no Jericho rolls him up for one two. Clothesline by Angle misses, waistlock is blocked and Angle takes him down for the ankle lock - Jericho saw it coming and got to the ropes. Stomp, stomp. Right, right,, kick, kick, kick. Corner whip, charge, this time Angle catches the boot but does not catch the enzuiguri. Both down. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Angle up before six, but runs right into an Jericho punch and another. The third misses, Angle goes for a German Suplex, Jericho with a Victory Roll (says JR - but maybe it's a Flying Leg Roll up) gets one two. Chop, whip, reversed, Jericho with a flying (kinda) forearm to take him down. Bulldog is blocked, Angle gets a kick, Angle Slam is dropped out of, Jericho with a kick to the stomach and now that bulldog hits. Going for the Lionsault, but Angle rolls out of the way but Jericho manages to land on his feet. Angle rolled all the way out, and now he's leaving - but Jericho's going after him - shot to the back. Stomp, and here comes Regal to end this. (6:50) It had to end like that? Anyway, Regal gets the better of the title Jericho, punching him down back towards the ring, then throwing him in. Clothesline misses, Walls Of Jericho on Regal! Angle ambling back to the ring now, right misses, Fireman's carry (was that supposed to be an Angle Slam?) leaves him Angle at the right angle for a Lionsault, and this one hits. Jericho with a kickdown in the corner on Regal, but Angle attacks Jericho form behind and his offense if over. Double team beating by Regal and Jericho. Boos by the fans - back suplex by Angle, Regal Stretch and ankle lock to boot. Chris Benoit is out and he has new purple tights! Rights for Angle Right, Clothesline for Regal - Kick, DDT for Angle, release German suplex for Regal, ugly looking high angle German suplex for Angle onto Regal, about snapping Angle's neck. Let's take a break!
Moments ago, well we can hear Angle but we're watching a still frame - now here's the Stretch and the ankle lock and the Benoit and the saving and the suplexes and other stuff of the sort. During the break, Benoit helps Jericho up and to the back.
Back live, yep, Regal and Angle are still in the ring and are talking - he's pissed and wants a match with Benoit right now. Angle looks tied but not with a broken neck, that's always nice. Benoit is...perhaps, not coming. He's sure taking his time if he is. Oh, there's the music. And he's got back up.
William Regal (w/Kurt Angle) vs Chris Benoit (w/Chris Jericho) - All four men fight before the match really gets sorted, with Jericho taking Angle up and over with a clothesline and following him out. Benoit hits a big back suplex on Regal - Headbutt already? He called for it, he's going up and he misses it. Stomp by Regal. Picking Benoit up, nice standing dropkick by Regal. Cover, one count, cover again, one count. European Uppercut times five. Suplex. One two no. One no. One two no. Kick to the back. Elbow drop. Cover one two no. One, no. Whip, clothesline hits. Jericho's shoulder is still bugging him on the outside from that Regal Stretch. Pick up, knee, knee, European Uppercut. Back suplex no Benoit falls on top for 2. Regal up first and hits a clothesline. One two no. One two no. Submission hold in the chin lock family. but with an abdominal stretch added in. (Stretch Plum?) Benoit fights back with an elbow, elbow, off the ropes, but right into knee. Regal waves to the crowd, who aren't really waving back, though they do have something to say to him. Stomp. Shot to the head. Paul's gotten to talking about Mick Foley (when talking about commissioner who excelled in submissions) and the fact that we keep doing that look to the ramp makes me think. Stomp. Double knee to the head. Shot to the back. Cover one two no. Standard chin lock, with a knee to the back added for fun. European Uppercut, knee, no Benoit with a waistlock but Regal elbows out of it before he can suplex him. Regal tries a whip but Benoit reverses that into an awkward small package for one two. Big clothesline. Right, and some more European Uppercuts in the corner, but Benoit turns it around with hard chops. Corner whip, Regal gets chopped down but gets backed up in to the train - German suplex, German suplex, regal elbow out before the last and throws Benoit to the floor, where Angle is waiting. Angle gets in one shot to the apron before Jericho's over to beat on him, and beat on him good. The ref looks at that while Regal has the stretch on, so he doesn't notice Jericho slipping in to break that up - Benoit immediately hooks on the Crossface and Regal's taping - the ref's back in and it's over! (4:59) Benoit won't let go and Jericho makes sure Angle can't get back in. Benoit finnaly lets go and the Canadian Chris' celebrate the victory - Jericho raising Benoit's hand twice.
Ross probably didn't mean "The Final Game Of The XFL" as ever, but just this season. Here's a video package on the first game of the LA/SF rivalry. They don't show the second game between these two because it kinda blew (I know what you're saying: 'a bad XFL game?' but even the announcers were phoning it after no time) and makes this matchup look very interesting. (:36)
Backstage, Test and Billy Gunn talk. Test knows why Gunn is in this upcoming six man tag against the Radicals (Eddie) and Gunn wants revenge for his loss on Heat - by why is Raven their partner? "You see sometimes in life, we make our own choices, sometimes the choices are made for us, and sometimes there is no choice. It will both my please and my torment to tag with you two against the three of them. Fate, destiny and pain." Gunn and Test still aren't sure if they can trust him - in fact (and not too surprisingly), they have no idea what he said. (Seems as though he got forced into it, but he's and his good friend fate are gonna try to make something of it.)
Backstage, Matt pumps up Jeff. Jeff is shocked that Matt punked out Austin. They both agree that Jeff is gonna keep his title. And here's Lita to make them mad about her coming while still hurt, but be happy in general since she'll be there for the match.
Radicals (w/Terri and a hat) vs Test & Billy Gunn & Raven - It's still R4adicals, so maybe Terri is now now? Raven as the fourth Radical wouldn't be that bad, actually. Team Miscellaneous Midcard Faces gets separate entrances, and Billy and Test are stupid enough to charge in before Raven gets there (why does that not surprise me anymore?) Raven's getting his damn entrance before he helps out, and so he does and then he's in the ring to turn the tide. Funny that he went after Saturn first. Hmm. Anyway, the good guys take control of the ring, and we're going to wait to get this started. It'll be Test and Dean to start and that doesn't work out well for Malenko - spinning side slam by Test. Whip, Test gets his head down too soon and gets a kick, but recovers with a clothesline. Tag to Gun, eye poke by Dean and he tags to Eddie. Eddie's all the sudden rethinking his decision to come in so quick, and offers a handshake, which Gunn uses to pull of a hairpull (cheater!) Clothesline, clothesline, corner whip, Saturn tries to tag in - I guess he did because he nails Gunn with a superkick as he was press slamming Eddie. Elbow drop. Back suplex. Cover one, two. Tag to Dean, headbutt, headbutt. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Whip, reversed right into a boot from Gunn, and there's the Fameasser. Gunn is gonna crawl for a tag - but he goes towards the wrong (neutral) corner, another dumb move that gets him clotheslined by Eddie from the apron. Test comes into argue, while allow Dean to position Billy for Eddie's catapult somersault senton. Push in the corner, right, right, right, right, right, right, now Gunn's got a second wind and is hitting all the Radicals, well, till that moderately low kick from Eddie. Now a third wind, but Saturn stops that with a hot shot. Boot choke in the corner by Eddie, who tags to Saturn and distracts the ref so Saturn can run Gunn's back into the stairs. Thrown back in a snap suplex by Eddie. Tag to Dean. Off the ropes, kick to the chest, another, and a third. Those are kinda stiff. Armbar. Tag to Saturn, hold by for a knee drop - jumping stomp! Shot to Raven to draw him, elbow drop, knee drop. Whip, reversed, clothesline ducked, Saturn gets a waistlock, Gunn tries to fight out but gets a pumphandle overhead suplex for one two th-no. Jawbreaker by Gunn, whip, tilt-a-whirl slam and now it's a race for a tag. Raven needs a tilt-a-whirl move to fit in with this team. Who's he gonna tag? Tag to Eddie - tag to Raven! Right for Eddie, Right for Saturn, corner whip on Saturn into Dean, Eddie comes back and attacks Raven but Raven reverses it into the Bronco Billie Special! Cover one two, Saturn breaks it up, but now Test is in - full nelson release slam on Saturn. Right for Dean, Big Boot for Saturn (harsh), but a well aimed and timed shot from Dean knocks Test out of the ring. That leaves Eddie and Dean in the ring with Raven (Gunn being out somewhere), Side slam by Dean and Eddie goes up to the top for the Frog Splash, no, senton but Raven moved out of the way and Eddie rolled through - but walks right into the DDT. Gunn pulls Dean out and Raven covers one two three. (5:53) Raven just pinned the European Champion, which everyone notices - is he gonna get a shot now?
Backstage, Big Show talks to Kevin Kelly. Kai En Tai challenge Show to a match. Show is dumb. Also evil. But more dumb. What's with his eyes? Shane's watching, and he's got something to prove
For no particular reason, let's pay Marilyn Manson ("Fight Song") to Kane and Taker highlights. (1:04)
Big Show (w/Last Thursday) vs Kai En Tai - Show looks like he's gonna cry. Heyman says goofs a lot so we think that's what Show called them. Oh-kay. TAKA HAS SOMETHING TO SAY! "Ha! Big Show we have fooled you, we just wanted to lure you down so you can fall in to trouble. You may be Godzilla, but even Godzilla is no match for cold hard cash. This will show you not to mess with true eeeeeeeeeeeevil! Hahahaha!" "inDEED!" Play the music
Big Show vs APA - Show go uh oh. Show starts off strong but that's not going to last and he has no older half brother to save him so he's in trouble here. Clothesline from hell and the beatdown is ON. There's a double spinebuster, Bradshaw almost killing himself in the process. Faarooq invites Kai En Tai in - oh, the first match is the real match, and there's no DQ for all that pre-bell stuff. Okay. Top rope elbow drop by Funaki. Top Rope Knee Drop by Taka. NO, COVER, don't celebrate! Uh oh, Show's getting up - Kai En Tai both on the top rope and they do one of those moves which serves no offense purpose but nicely ends them up in Big Show's hands for the double chokeslam. BOOOOOOO. Double pin just to make it hurt more. (:31) Show is still mad. I'm sad.
Earlier tonight, Trish Straus arrived at WWF NY. Paul relates to us that Trish is in love with him. Now Trish is standing by to talk. Nice jeans dress, actually. She's more than just a naughty girl. She was attracted to Vince - but more to his billions then his grapefruits. She always said she'd do anything for the right cause, she just took a while to figure out the right card. She's decided that if there is a divorce, she hopes Linda gets "everything she deserves and more" (wait, that doesn't sound right.) She's nice and naughty.
Back to Smackdown and the video package that opened the show. And then earlier tonight, Matt Hardy took out Matt.
Triple H and Steph are heading to the ring. As are Team Xtreme - wait, no, Regal interrupts and tells Matt, for his actions towards Steve Austin, he's barred from ringside. Matt's mad, but thinks Jeff can do it.
Coincidentally, Tommy Maddox leads team (Los Angeles) Xtreme into the Million Dollar Game this Sunday. "Great seats are still available!"
Triple H (w/Stephanie, WWF the Music Volume 5 and Backlash is April 28th in Chicago) vs Jeff Hardy (w/Lita and her hurt ribs) for the Intercontential Championship - Matt watches a monitor in the back. Triple stars off by clocking Jeff. Stomp down in the corner. Your ref is Earl Hebner and Jeff's not gonna last all that long at this rate. Earl is pushed back when he tries to beak up to stomp down. Right and down goes Jeff. Turnbuckle shot. Shoulder to the gut. Shoulder to the gut. Shoulder to the gut. Shoulder to the gut. Shoulder to the gut, shoulder to the gut, shoulder to the gut, shoulder to the gut, shoulder to the gut. Earl finnaly pulls him off, so Hunter stares menacingly at Lita. Jeff is still down in the corner when Hunter gets back to him - corner whip, double boot connects from Jeff. Clothesline misses and he runs right into the the flapjack. I have cake right here. Pulling him up by his hair and rights to the head with the taped fist. Replay of the flapjack. Hanging vertical suplex. Matt is still watching. Running kneedrop, cover, one two. Right to the head, and again and again. Earl is backed up. Jeff escapes in the corner but Hunter pulls him by the hair, another hanging veridical suplex but he hangs too long and Jeff falls behind, right, right, right, off the ropes and right into a powerslam. Hunter picks him up by the hair and throws him out. Hot shot on the steps. Earl tells Hunter to get in the ring, so he does, but he rolls right back in. Now pushing Jeff back in and rolling in himself. Jeff swings and connects, but Triple H isn't affected that much and lands a big clothesline, one two kickout. Cover one kickout. Whip, abdominal stretch. Hunter grabs the top rope out of Earl's view. Jeff turns it a bit and tries to get to the ropes but Hunter pounds him with his right hand. Jeff is trying to escape but he can't quite get out. The fans cheer him on and Jeff goes for the rope again, but Hunter turns it around and grabs the ropes again - this time, Earl catches it and kicks Hunter's arm free, allowing Jeff to hip toss him. Off the ropes, right into the knee. Picking Jeff up again, jawbreaker is blocked (I guess) the first time but not the second. Jeff right a right, right, right, whip,, head down too soon so he gets face buster. Cover, one two, Lita pulls Hunter out. Lita immediately backs away, Steph is over to try to slap her but Lita blocks it and chases her till Hunter cuts Lita off and she backs off quickly again. Steph argues with the ref about Lita's interference as Hunter throws Jeff out. Jeff grabs the IC belt and Hunter some how doesn't see it - right by Hunter but Jeff smacks Hunter with the belt, knocking him over the desk and to where the announcers formerly were residing. JR lost his hat! Jeff rams Hunter head first into the ring post, and head first hard into the stairs. And again. Now into the desk. Throwing him in - and Jeff is going all the top rope - missile dropkick connects, slow roll over, one two thr-KICKOUT. Whip, reversed, kip up by Jeff and he dropkicks Hunter into the corner - inside cradle as he rebounds out one two thr kickout again! Jeff off the ropes, right into a boot - Pedigree is reverses into a backslide one tw no. Jeff is frustrated. Off the ropes, ducks the clothesline, headscissors takedown! Jeff is going up - corkscrew moonsault finds nothing but Matt, Hunter moving out of the way. Now Hunter going to the second rope - Jeff dropkicks him up there to crotch him. Jeff joins him - top rope 'rana! Jeff's going up - time for the Swanton? Yes, but Hunter moves! Both down. As Jeff and Hunter struggle to their feet, Matt cheers Jeff on in the back - and gets punked out by Austin. Guess someone didn't really go home after all. Lita apparently saw that on the TitanTron and now she's not sure which Hardy boy to help. She debates and goes for Matt - but never quite makes it there as Steve Austin is waiting for her on the top of the apron. Lita tries to retreat - oh, and by the way, Triple H just pinned Jeff Hardy (11:25) HUH? We hear the count and the bell and the announcement but nothing more. Austin slides in - the replay shows a pedigree, but not whatever might have lead up to it. Austin lays in some shots on Jeff, and breaks out a belt to whip him. Matt Hardy is out to make the save with a chair, but the chair ends up in Hunter's hands before longs and Austin works Matt over ti h the belt. Chair shot for Jeff. Shot to the head. Choking with the belt.. Another chair shot to Matt. And another. Austin is choking Jeff now. Steph is happy watching from outside. Now Austin and Hunter see Lita. Lita just wants out of there - she start to back way, but Steph throws her in the ring. Lita (who's showing more thong then she probably wants) begs off - and the lights go out. And then the fireworks come on and the Undertaker and Kane are at the top of the ramp. They mosey down to ringside (Lita having got to safety while the lights were off) and when they get there, Austin and Hunter turn chicken and leave the ring. They shout threats from the bottom of the ramp, but Taker and Kane hold strong in the ring, Austin and Hunter being afraid to challenge them . JR: "I like this, I like this a lot!"The Cubs Fan
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