WWF RAW is WAR
They LOST Game 1, AT
HOME, TO the Suns. It's just SO
QUICK QUOTES: WWF 12.95 (- .30, last year: 15 11/16), SPLN 3.50 (- .45, last year: 19 1/16)
TONIGHT: Backlash is coming and the line stretched around the block outside the Pepsi Arena - here's video to prove it! Tonight, for the first time ever, a tag team submission match! Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho WILL team against William Regal and Kurt Angle, and you *will* BE THERE at the top of the hour!
THIS WEEK'S SPECIAL MIAMI VICE GUEST STAR: Benicio del Toro
One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
TV-14-DLV Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! where Austin and Triple H punked out Taker and Kane, Taker and Kane won the tag team championships, and Austin and Triple H punked out Taker and Kane again. Go read the SmackDown! report. Last night on Heat, Vince broke the bad news to Austin and H: the compromise with Linda Vince reached stated that the matchup between they and the Fun Brothers would take place at Backlash...and all three championships would be on the line.
ARE YOU HAPPYRO? WE ARE LIVE 23.4.1 from the SOLD OUT Pepsi Center in Denver, CO - 17,102 in the building, a few hundred at WWF New York, YOU - and ME - and RAW is WAR!
TONIGHT: the first-ever tag team submission match! Jericho & Benoit vs. Regal & Angle!
SCOOTER is out first - that usually means TAKER is out second. Not only is he on his bike, but he's wearing his belt as a collar like Buh Buh Ray Dudley used to do! Guess which of these guys is gonna speak. Go on, guess. Hey, you're right! "Now you know, throughout all the years...Kane and I...[pauses for pop]...Kane and I really, we've never been known for our sense of humour...it hasn't exactly been a decade o' laughs...it's been, a Decade of Destruction. But I do have to admit, Triple H, a coupla weeks ago, he said... [boo] ...Triple H, a coupla weeks ago said something, and I'll be damned if I didn't think it was the funniest thing I ever heard. So, Mr. TV Producer Man, if you'll roll that footage, I want everybody to take a look at it." Let Us Take You Back Two Weeks to SmackDown!: "Because what you see, standing in this ring before you right now is the two most dominant men in the World Wrestling Federation today, in the past, in the future!" "Heh - Kane, do you wanna see that one more time? I thought so. Let's roll that one more time." Pretend I cut and pasted that in again. Is Taker gonna make fun of his grammar? "Now I told you that was funny! Now, speaking for the two most dominating....forces of destruction, I don't want Triple H and Austin to feel like we're offended. We find it...pretty damn funny! Kane, you think it's funny?" "Oh yeah - I'm laughin' on the inside." "You know...I thought you might be. Now listen - Kane and I woulda been quite happy havin' a match, us against Triple H and Austin, just....we woulda been satisfied havin' a match just to see who the most dominant team is. Whoa whoa whoa wait wait wait - but as luck would have it, the stakes - they just rose a little bit. Because now, in less than one week at Backlash, every title in the World Wrestling Federation is on the line! The tag titles, the intercontinental title, and the WWF title are all up for grabs. And I tell you what, what amuses me more than anything else is the thought of Triple H and Austin losing their titles. So boys, it breaks down like this. The match has been set. At Backlash, we're gonna decide who gets what title. So TONIGHT...why don't we have a match to see who the most dominant team is. So, let's get it on, and let's get it on right now." Somehow, I doubt this'll happen. The response is by...EDGE & CHRISTIAN? Edge: "Whoa whoa whoa. Hold the phone there a second, pal. The most dominating force in the WWF? That's a lotta big talk for a coupla guys who have had the tag team titles a total of FIVE whole days. Math time, fellas. YOU have been the tag team champions ONCE. WE have been the tag team champions SEVEN times. Oh yeah. So technically, that makes us seven times better than you!" "You know, I think the thin air in this town is starting to affect your brain, just like it does the rest of the reek-a-zoids in Denver. You wanna come out here and show footage? How about showing the only reason you beat us in the first place - by threatening, and setting fire to Commissioner Regal's office! I mean...we didn't have time to prepare, we didn't have time to study tapes, or anything like that! ["Ass hole!"] You wanna talk funny? You two claiming to be the most dominant anything - that's funny! Now I know you don't have it in ya to put those WWF tag team titles on the line tonight, but if it's a fight you want...we'll fight you right now." "Well I tell you what - the only thing stopping ya is the space between us, and the fear of gettin' yo ass kicked." Edge & Christian approach the ring -
the apron - Kane and Taker bring them in the hard way - soupbones in
adjacent corners. Kane with kicks, Taker with soupbones...ahh, *there*
are STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN & THE NEW
MAN with the sneak attack to turn it
around. Austin grabs a pair of chairs - he gets to whacking on Taker
while H puts the edge to Kane. Austin uses his belt to tie up Taker in
the ropes and puts the edge in Taker's chest. H using the knee on Kane.
The REFS are
out but afraid to get in the ring. Too bad *they* don't have
any friends to save them, right? Low blows for everybody! Kane gets a
tag team belt in the mush as Austin's music hits. Leave 'em laying, it's
time to bring the break.
Holy cow, a TRIPLE Ultimate Cheeseburger at Jack in the Box? I need me some new arteries!
RAW is WAR hits the Compaq Center at San Jose 21 May! Tix on sale NOW! (but not for seats YOU want to pay for)
Moments Ago, three paragraphs ago. I didn't notice H with an armbar takedown on Kane's injured arm. Geez, LOSE the audio if it's gonna keep cutting out like that - ahh, thanks.
Stephanie and Vince react to the replay we've just seen...but are cut off by
Earlier Today, Mick Foley arrived at WWF New York
Stephanie and Vince react to THAT as well
WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: SPIKE DAMN DUDLEY (with Those Damn Dudleyz & Let Us Take You Back to Heat) v. RHYNO (with Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown!) - Buh Buh Ray & D-Von take headsets and we learn that at Backlash, the three Dudley brothers will take on the three members of X Factor. As if on cue, X FACTOR show up on the stage just before this match starts up. Rhyno rushes Spike and mauls him with forearms. Into the ropes, head down, kick by Spike, dropkick takes him outside. Spike to the top buckle - BIG plancha finds the mark! Rhyno back in the ring as Spike goes for the plundah. Rhyno is ready when Spike is back in, kicking the trashcan lid into his face. Set up for a gore...but Spike clocks him with a lid to stop him! X Factor starting to walk to the ring - bringing the Dudleyz out of their seats and over. Pier Five brawl on the outside as Rhyno tries to turn it around - got a lid - Spike ducks, gutshot, Dudley (Bull)dog! 1, 2, Albert pulls Spike off - but he has a lid with him. WHACK! Spike back in - but he gets gored. 1, 2, 3. (1:40) Sorry, I meant to say "GORE! GORE! GORE!" I'll work on that. X Factor try to swan Spike after the match but D-Von and Buh Buh Ray are back in - Credible gets 3D (Dudley Death Drop) and let's hit their music - X-Pac, Credible and referee "Blind" Jimmy Korderas all hold back Albert on the outside. Replay of the gore.
"Drama...excitement...action...intensity...this is the WWF Live!" Wow, it's been YEARS since they hyped upcoming shows - I guess they're not just selling themselves anymore? Tomorrow, the WWF *again* tapes in Denver - that one's sold out. Sunday, it's Backlash, sold out in Chicago. Monday, RAW hits Milwaukee and on Tuesday, the WWF hits Indy! Selected live events are presented by Corn Nuts - are they corn, or are they nuts? Or am *I* nuts? CORN NUTS!
Here's Kane on a scooter, for Stacker 2.
Here's Kane in the Kane items of less line, for Stacker 2.
Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown!, where the APA & Kai En Tai took
the fall over the Right to Censor.
Earlier Today, Richards rallied the troops. "We've made strides here in the WWF. We made a difference. We showed everybody our beliefs - and we were unstoppable. BUT THAT DOES NOT HOLD TRUE TODAY! We are continuing to lose every match! We fight the good fight, and we continue to lose! They are making a mockery out of our cause - they are laughing at us! So I ask you guys tonight - do not fight the good fight - fight...TO WIN! Fight for victory! Fight for everything that we have stood for - and lost! FIGHT...for survival, gentlemen - because if we don't, then we will be nothing...at all."
WALL BUCHANAN & GOODFATHER DOT COM (with Steven Richards & Backlash at WWFNY hype) v. KAI & TAI - Ring flowerpot LILIAN GARCIA gets close enough with "Michinuku." They show up, leave...and come back in Elway jerseys, swinging Broncos flags. I HATE them now. "Right to Censor! You have lost your way and become repetitious! There is *nothing* more pathetic than someone who says the same thing over and over and over again!" "InDEED." "Therefore, by the power of ELLLLLLLLWAY, continue to fight the good fight - just remember, your 'good' is no match for our EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-VIL, ha ha ha ha." They hit the ring and are quickly pummeled. Taka is tossed - Funaki into the ropes, shoulderblock by Goodfather - head to the buckle. Hiplock out. Tag to Buchanan - held for the open shot to the ribs. Into the ropes, big boot. Picked up for the short clothesline. In the corner again - right, left, right, right, shoved to his corner - Taka brought in the hard way, right, right, Funaki from behind with a right, Taka with a right, Funaki with a right, Goodfather in, ohh it's all broken down. Scoop slam by Buchanan as Goodfather fights in the corner - whip into the opposite corner - Funaki sidesteps the Censor Train and crotches Buchanan - Michinoku lowers the bridge and Goodfather leaves the ring. Funaki with a pescado on Richards (!) - Michinoku on top - Buchanan catches the crossbody but Funaki is up - dropkick to the pile, then Funaki goes outside the ring to hold down the ankle - 1, 2, 3! (1:48) Kai En Tai scatter as we get a replay of our finish. Needless to say, Richards isn't exactly enthralled by this turn of events.
Here's another look at WWF New York
And here's a look INSIDE as Foley refuses a salad...but accepts everything else, putting it all on Vince's tab.
Vince and Stephanie react to this - then Show knocks on the door (or knocks down the door, I missed it) - did Vince mean it when he called him the "biggest disappointment in the business?" Of course not...but he *did* mean it when he booked the Last Man Standing match with Shane. Show asks if Vince has fully considered what he could do to Shane. Vince: "Yeah, I - I have, I'm looking forward to it." "Good, 'cause so am I. Now, I have something here I think you - and especially you need to look at." Show puts a tape in the VCR and hits play. It's a clip from SmackDown! of Test congratulating Jeff Hardy for giving Stephanie the neckbreaker. Wow, they DON'T watch their own television! Show suggests a match with Test. "Can you believe I almost married that CREEP Test?"
Meanwhile, Kurt Angle compliments Commissioner Regal on his new match, then promises that Chris Benoit will go down "faster than Terrell Davis on opening day" - now THAT'S an awesome line.
Your hosts are LARRY KING & PAUL HEYMAN - geez, Heyman, NICE SUIT
TONIGHT: tag team submission - *somebody* will tap out tonight...who will it be?
MICHAEL KING COLE reports from the trainer's room - Taker and Kane were pretty shaken up (shook up?) and Kane has reinjured his elbow. They will be ready Sunday, however. Austin and Triple H interject...and walk off after Cole confirms to them what he'd just said. Shut down 'til Sunday, yup.
Triple H and Steve Austin get the "'Fight Song' video for
epileptics" treatment in this Special Video Look
It IS your main event - Triple H & Stone Cold vs. Undertaker & Kane - and ALL THREE CHAMPIONSHIPS ARE ON THE LINE
"No Chance in Hell" accompanies BILLIONAIRE VINCE - no, wait, that's not Vince, it's STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN & THE NEW MAN coming out to ring. Heyman suggests Ross give them the double noggin knocker to get some information. Ross: "Well, like most of your ideas over the last two years, that's not gonna work." H is up first: "I know livin' at this altitude has probably killed most of your brain cells...and I know people at home aren't much brighter than you, so I'm gonna come out here and I'm gonna refresh people's memories of what happened tonight up until now. You see...["ass hole!"]...you see, the Dead Man and Kane came into this ring and they ran their mouths. They came out here and they told the world that *they* were the most dominant force in the World Wrestling Federation - that they had run roughshod with a Decade of Destruction that just kept Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'. But let me refresh your memories of what happened after that - you see, when they got done runnin' their mouth about how great they were...we came in and then proceeded to kick their ass. So now, those two sit in the back, licking their wounds, trying to surgically get the foot removed from their mouth while we stand in the ring the exact same as we were before: the two most dominant men in the World Wrestling Federation today! Now at Backlash, it's all on the line. All the gold...but you see, these belts, these championships, this intercontinental title, that World Wrestling Federation championship...these belts right here, these belong to us. And those tag team championship belts that the Undertaker and Kane are walkin' around with? Those belong to us. You see, in this ring, this ring right here - This Very Ring that the Undertaker likes to call his yard? This ring belongs to us - and everything here, these lights, that TitanTron, this ring, these ropes, those barricades, these stairs, every single one o' your asses - the entire World Wrestling Federation belongs - to - us! And whether ya like it or not, this Sunday at Backlash, the Undertaker, Kane...your asses - your asses belong to us." "Every single word that man just said is true! You ain't gotta like it, but ya know it's true. And you know the thing about it is, what happened to them two boys a while ago right in the middle of this ring coulda happened to that son of a bitch right there, it could happen to that fat boy right there, it could happen to that little skinny sumbitch right there, what happened to them boys could happen to every single one of you mealy-mouthed bastards in this arena! Undertaker, you wanna roll out here on your little motorsickle, you wanna talk about Backlash, oh you don't wanna wait 'til Backlash, you want some o' Stone Cold and Triple H right now, hell boy, I just got warmed up so if you got some left, go ahead and bring your asses out here right now, because we just now gettin' started! We ain't got t' wait 'til Backlash. Do you wanna wait 'til Backlash? I ain't gotta wait 'til Backlash, everybody here belongs to Stone Cold Steve Austin and Triple H and that includes the Undertaker and Kane! You ain't got the guts? Is that..." But the music that plays...belongs to the HARDY BOYZ. Jeff keeps dancing after they've cut the music. Oops. Matt: "Hey! You guys are real brave all right. You wanna come out here and call out two guys that you jumped from behind? You wanna call somebody out? Well we're OUT!" I KNEW THEY WERE GAY oh wait that's probably not what he meant. "In case you haven't figured it out, we don't know the meaning of the word 'quit' - regardless of what you do to Matt & Jeff Hardy, we'll keep coming back again, and again, and again, and again...and there's nothing you can do to stop that!" Jeff: "And hey, if it's a fight you're looking for, please don't look far! Because the Hardy Boyz are still alive! The only difference between us and you, when it comes to fighting, is that you see us coming!" But the wall of pyro stop them halfway down the ramp - the FUN BROTHERS are back. All four men hit the ring - and H and Austin leave the ring and take separate paths through the crowd. And NOW MICK FOLEY's music hits - we cut to
WWF New York. "You know, JR, the past hour or so, I've really been enjoying some of the great delicacies right here at the WWF New York! And I'm also enjoying one hell of a show right there in Denver, Colorado! But you see I think I've got something inside this magic bag that will make that show in Denver just a little bit better, and no, it's not my new book (Foley is Good, which will be available in bookstores everywhere May 8th), no it's not this sweatshirt that I was performing some rigorous calesthenics in a little bit earlier - no no, here it is. It's one of those crazy contracts that I signed along with Linda McMahon
when I was still the WWF Commissioner - and this contract
states that I am able to, as commissioner, make a main event for any RAW
of my choosing. And what the hell, I mean, as long as I've got a
microphone in my hand - as long as millions of people are seeing and
hearing me live right now, I'm gonna choose this RAW to make my main
event! And based on what just took place, I'm gonna give ourselves a
great little eight-man tag team, whaddaya say? Because right there, In
That Very Ring, it will be my old friends Edge & Christian, along with
Triple Haitch & Stone Cold Steve Austin...taking on Matt and Jeff, the
Hardy Boyz...Kane, and the Undertaker. Whaddaya say? It's gonna be a
great day. Thanks a lot!"
"The Mummy Returns" ad
Take a Quick Look at Denver - for some reason, I feel like a Pepsi - and it feels GOOD
Our hosts react to the on-the-fly booking we've just witnessed
CHRIS BENOIT and CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO (with RAW Credits & TV-14-DLV-CC boxes - what, only THIS hour is close captioned?) v. COMMISSIONER REGAL & KING KURT ANGLE (with Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown!) in a submission match - Garcia: "The following is a tag team submission match, and it is scheduled for one......(wait, can I say fall? I better just trail off to be safe. CRZ's gonna be MEAN to me again)" Jericho would like to share a few words with us. "So at Backlash, I have a match with Commissioner Assclown, utilising the historic Duchess of Queensbury rules. Well I have no clue what the Duchess of Queenebury rules are, but I'm quite sure that nobody knows more about duchesses and queens than William Regal! I did, however, find a picture of her majesty in my searches, and I'd like to show it to ya right now. Let's see that beautiful duchess." Needless to say, it's Regal's head superimposed on...whatever that is. (Elizabeth I portrait perhaps?) "What a treat she is - but Regal, it's good that you know your history, because on Sunday at Backlash, I'm gonna get medieval on your ass." Regal reacts with hilarity to the picture, still on the EntertainmentTron as he comes out. Let's watch referee "Blind" Tim White to see if he tries to sneak in a pinfall count during this match, just for kicks. A soccer brawl breaks out to start - Benoit stomping on Angle as Jericho kicks at Regal. Benoit grabs Regal, into the ropes, shoulderblock. Angle knocks down Benoit as Jericho tries to put the Walls on Regal - Angle breaks that up, then walks into a Crippler crossface attempt - Regal breaks THAT up. Regal tosses Benoit, Jericho gives him a shot on his way out, and we're to one on one - Angle reverses a whip, but Jericho hits the flying jalapeno. Chop, forearm, into the corner, off the ropes - Jericho trying an armbar, confusing Ross into calling him "Benoit' - Angle clamps on a headlock. Fireman's carry takeover by Jericho, trying for the Walls again but Angle kicks him away - Regal with a free shot - drop toehold by Angle, going for the anklelock but Benoit (Headset: "Are you SURE it was Benoit?" Ross: "I'm SURE it was Benoit.") comes in to save. White puts Benoit back and Angle tags out to Regal. Regal with a left knee, right knee, going for a suplex but Jericho wraps the arm and drops down - Regal rolls through the attmept and tries to lock in his Regal Stretch - Jericho elbows out of it. Enzuigiri ("scores" count: one) - and Jericho has enough time to tag to Benoit. Benoit ducks a swing - German suplex - holding on for two, released to catch Angle coming in - HE gets a German suplex from Benoit. Jericho in - clotheslining Benoit (and himself!) out of the ring - Benoit with a kick for Regal - whip attempt is reveresed, Regal with a full nelson, Benoit reverses to HIS full nelson - DRAGON SUPLEX! And Regal is dead meat for the crossface. Regal must tap. (2:03) On one hand, this match was awfully short - on the other hand, most of those UFC matches are awfully short. On yet another hand, this is the longest match of the night. At this point, I should probably sigh...but man, it sure seems like things have been moving tonight. Besides - if they can get a submission in two, imagine how many we could see in thirty?
Hey, look! The Big Show! He wants some of Test! And he's WALKING!
By the way, on Metal, they were spelling it "Queensberry" - let's hope they've rethought that. Hey, let me go check wwfbacklash.com and find out...yep, they're spelling it "Queensbury" there, at least.
The Whack of the Night is brought to you by Whacko Tobacco (if
you're a teen) - from SmackDown!, Vince asks Show, which way will he
go? Show plants...Shane.
JONATHAN COACHMAN leers at Trish Stratus - somehow, this turns into a "Divas in Hedonism" video ad - I wonder what Jacqueline thinks about the Coach chasin' after all them cracka hos? Oh no you didn't! Girl, PLEASE.
WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW (with Backlash graphic: Shane vs. Show) v. TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST (with wwf.com logo) - Watch THIS one go like six minutes, wink wink. Show shoves Test off the ropes - he comes right back with a shove of his own. Test ducks the clothesline, right, right, right, Giant throws him by the neck into the corner, knee, knee, Test ducks the shot, right, right, kick, kick, kick, right, right, kick, kick, kick, kick, whip out - no no no - Show pulls him back. Well it's a big slap. Knee, knee, bealed out. Well it's a big elbow between the shoulderblades. Got him by the hair - well it's a big scoop - and a backbreaker across the knee. Test put in the corner - bearhug as he comes out. LISTEN TO THAT CROWD!! Test tries the bellringer - again - again - Show continues to hold on. Bell ringer - four, right, right, out of it off the ropes - escapes the press - clothesline off the ropes, another clothesline - he's teetering. Nope, he's back in control - Test into the corner - back elbow by Test stops the charge. Test up top - back elbow off the ropes takes him off his feet! ("Scores" count: two) Winding up for the Really Big Boot - but Show just catches it - got him in the choke but SHANE-O is out and he's swinging the chair. Referee "Blind" Mike Chioda says "aw, hell, I actually saw that" and calls for the bell (DQ 2:35) Show, having not left his feet, watches Shane take off through the crowd - then turns back to eat a Really Big Boot and get to the floor. Play Test's music!
Vince McMahon is WALKING! And looking for Shane. "There's gonna be some fun here tonight!" He doesn't find Shane, but he *does* bump into Trish - and decides to book a match on the spot between Stratus and Ivory. Oh, and if Trish loses, she'll be forced to join RtC. Well, that makes PERFECT sense.
Earlier Today, there was a long, long line outside the Pepsi Center.
Ross runs down the Saturday onsales while Heyman mugs.
Moments Ago, four paragraphs ago.
The Graphic don't lie: it's a Last Man Standing Match: Shane McMahon vs. Big Show!
Cole stands with Grand Master Sexay, Steve Blackman and Raven - they team against the Radicalz tonight. Raven gets the question: "Tonight, we expose a myth - a fantasy, a fabrication if you will. Tonight we face three individuals who are neither dynamic, revolutionary, nor particularly groundbreaking. ie, anything but radical. Tonight, those three face their fate, destiny and pain." "Yo yo yo, that's what the Grand Master is talkin' about, Michael Coleslaw. See tonight, we facin' Eddie, Perry and Dean - three men that think they're mean, two ain't too keen, and one look like a cross-eyed Mr. Clean. You see, and speakin' of clean, tonight we're gonna clean some clocks, get ready to rocks, eat some bagels and lox...and get funky like a pair o' dirty ol' socks. Booya!" Raven and Sexay walk off, revealing that Blackman's actually been doing the splits on some cases behind them instead of standing. Yikes. Cole asks for his reaction. "I don't know what the hell these guys are talking about - I don't even eat bagels."
R3DICALZ (with Nipples & Let Us Take You Back to Heat) v. CAW CAW CAW and GRAND MASTER SEXAY & MR. PARTY TIME (with "WWF: The Music [Volume 5] CD cover) - Terri sure has a lovely pair....of Brett Somers' sunglasses on.
Saturn takes it to Blackman before the bell sounds. Into the
ropes, Blackman rolls under the clothesline attempt, Saturn evades the
spin kick, Blackman drops down to avoid a kick, leg sweep takes down
Saturn, elbowdrop misses, waistlock by Saturn, suplex blocked, Saturn
forearms the back and hits the exploder. Headbutt. Into the ropes,
reversed, pressed up and chopped down. Blackman drops down for an
uppercut, then does one-armed pushups until Malenko gets the tag. Ducks a
clothesline, superkick, tag to Sexay. Off the roeps but Malenko hits a
waistlock - Sexay reverses - to the ropes, Sexay rolled back - ducks
another clothesline, hiptoss, clothesline, into the corner is reversed,
boot up by Sexay (second rope with the goggles but Saturn drops him while
Guerrero distracts referee "Blind" Jack Doan. Clothesline by Malenko, tag
to Guerrero, drop toehold by Malenko, dropkick to the face by
Guerrero. Stomp by Guerrero, stomp, stomp, right, headlock, tag to
Saturn, holding for the open kick - into the ropes, head down, kick by
Sexay, trying a suplex but Saturn knees him. Gut wrench - got him on the
shoulder - rammed into the corner and sat on top. Saturn after him -
Sexay punching out - Saturn shoved off - top rope crossbody LANDS but both
men are down. Tag to Guerrero - HOT TAG to Raven! Guerrero quickly backs
off in favour of Malenko - kick caught, spun around for the
clothesline. Saturn gets two rights, into the corner, off the ropes with
the clothesline (how Doan managed to avoid the collision we may never
know) - Guerrero breaks up the pin with a forearm from behind. Head to
the buckle. Whip into the opposite corner is reversed, clothesline,
bulldog - Saturn breaks THAT up. It's all breaking down now as all six
man get to brawling - Guerrero and Raven remain in the ring. Guerrero
eating punches - into the ropes, reversed into a drop toehold - Guerrero
shoots the half - 1, 2, 3! Whoa, I didn't expect
Trish Stratus ... is ... WALKING!
Scoot_r __n_ St_c__r 2 _d
__n_ it_ms or l_ss St_c__r 2 _d
Okay, I'm officially tired of that FRAM ad where the dude slaps his woman's ass before taking a piss. WASH YER DAMN HANDS ALREADY
This Sunday on Superstars, you can see what it was like at the Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards with (the suspended) Rock and Chyna
In the locker room, Ivory stops her bickering chums by promising to beat Trish Stratus. "With a little faith, anything is possible." Tonight...RtC will FINALLY get a new member. (You buy that?)
TRISH STRATUS - THE FITNESS MODEL (with RAW is WAR is brought to you by FRAM!, Foot Locker's House of Hoops, and Twix!) v. IVORY - shockingly, neither woman has a website plug - somebody's slipping! Drop toehold by Ivory, steps on her bum and walks over it. Pose to the crowd - ducks a clothesline by Stratus, gutshot, face jam (er). Nice suplex. Scoop slam. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, no. Trish bulls her to the corner, shoulderdrive, again, again, whip into the opposite corner, hiptoss out. Trish knows the armdrag takeover? Scoop...and a slam. 1, 2, nope. Trish puts her in the corner - going for the bulldog but Ivory ROCKS her with a clothesline. Fireman's carry...into a Falcon Arrow-alike - 1, 2, no! truth brings the Double Feature. Another scoop slam by Ivory - going up top - Ross: "Crowd chanting for puppies--" Heyman: "PUPPIES. Oh, please, that's yesterday's news." Missile dropkick swatted away - Trish hits the bulldog - oh well. 1, 2, 3. (2:06) Ross: "That's the longest Ivory's been on her back in months!"
Triple H tells Edge & Christian to act like seven-time tag champs tonight. Austin adds that it's time for them turn the voltage up.
"The Mummy Returns" ad
Backlash ad in the local spot, as well
Mick Foley eats Beefaroni!
Taker discusses the situation with the Hardy Boyz and Kane. We don't hear them.
TONIGHT: It's a big eight-man main event!
Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight, in case you were (ha) watching some other show when this originally went down, and show you how this match CAME down
"Highlights" from Saturday's XFL Championship game. Mike Pawlawski proves to be an idiot. Most unfortunately, Josh Wilcox' ECW namedropping doesn't make the cut of this clip package...and Heyman fails to mention it as well. Don't blink or you'll miss the shot of Vince McMahon - golly, it's almost like he doesn't want to be associated with this failure anymore!
WWFEDGECHRISTIAN.COM and THE NEW MAN (with Stephanie Can't Act & Castrol Motor Oily presents Backlash! & WWF: The Music [Volume 5] CD cover) and STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN v. AD BREAK - pay attention to these entrances, folks. There can be no doubt who the #1 man in the WWF is right now - and you can't help but wonder how the #2 guy feels about that...
And now, the WWF Slam of the Week, brought to you by Castrol Motor Oily! From RAW last week, Triple H wins back the intercontinental championship, he and Austin level the Hardyz...but Taker & Kane make the late save.
EDGE & CHRISTIAN & THE NEW MAN & STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN (with Stephanie Can't Act) v. WWFHARDYS.COM (with Lita) and THE FUN BROTHERS - Pier Eight Brawl to start - Kane and Austin spill outside and wipe out Heyman's headset going over the commentary table. H hits the STEEL steps at the hands of the Taker. Edge & Christian quickly out to try to save - no dice. Kane punches Edge back into the ring - Taker deposits Christian for Matt - Poetry in Motion on Edge - Christian put into the opposite corner for another boosted legdrop. Double legdrop between the legs by Jeff - cover, 2. Looks like we're back to one-on-one. Christian turns it around with a knee, overhand forearm, again, hairpull takedown,
stomp, stomp. Right cross puts Hardy down - blatant choke. Tag to
Austin. Hardy makes a break for it and tags Taker - soupbone! Soupbone!
Soupbone! Into the ropes - big boot! H in - HE gets a big boot. Into
the ropes, baaack body drop! Clothesline for Austin, clothesline out for
H - Kane wants the tag, and he gets it. Up to the top - flying
clothesline for Austin! Edge & Christian get free shots as well. Kane
wants to finish it with a chokeslam but H breaks it up. Austin with an
armbar takedown on the bad arm. Stomp, stomp, stomp, doubleteam stomping
as H joins him. Taker over - soupbone for H - as referee "Blind" Earl
Hebner puts him back, Edge & Christian swarm on Kane with punches.
Austin manages a stomp in the burnt weiner (well ISN'T it?) as H ties up
Hebner. Stomp, stomp,l stomp, stomp, stomp stomp stomp stomp Hebner pulls
him off. "Austin sux!" Wow. I thought I knew this crowd. H pulls the
injured arm over the top rope. Austin drops the hammer - mount, right,
right, right. Tag to Triple H. H with an arm wringer on the bad arm.
Kane with a right, right, but H holds on - stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp.
Tag to Edge - Edge off the top with a double axehandle to the bad elbow.
Trying to continue the armbar but Kane takes him over and flails away with
rights - Austin comes in, off the ropes with his elbow - crowd is
INCREDIBLY loud in their boos. Christian comes in without a tag and
stomps away on the bad elbow. Taker comes in with a soupbone for Austin
but it doesn't help Kane as the illegal activities continue. Edge in with
the armbar. Crowd chants "Lita" because...I have no idea. Kane STILL
manages to shove off Edge - ducks a clothesline and delivers a big boot.
But Austin AND H come in. Hebner puts Austin away - H drags Kane to his
corner and chats with Hebner. They've had enough - the Hardyz and Taker
all run around to break it up. Hebner apparently doesn't notice an empty
corner. Back in the ring, Kane manages a clothesline with the good arm,
but there's nobody in his corner as he slowly crawls there. Taker puts
Austin on the commentary table again. Matt has made it back to his corner
and gets the tag - right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
right, right, right, right, right, right, whip into the opposite corner is
reversed but Hardy gets the boot up - but H ducks the clothesline and hits
his neckbreaker - 1, 2, *Taker* breaks it up! H off the ropes - caught in
a choke! Edge in - Edge down with the big boot - Christian in - Christian
down with the big boot - back to the choke on H - CHOKESLAM!! He ain't
legal but he'll get the pin...no, wait - Edge pulls him outside and he and
Christian work him over. Hebner follows this action - behind him, Matt
covers H...but Austin is in with a stomp - picking him up - KICK WHAM
STUNNER - H covers - 1, 2, 3! (7:38) Austin and H hightail
it back up the ramp before celebrating - and holding hands? - and it looks
like we're out.