WWF RAW is WAR
WWF 14.01 (+
1.59, last year: 20 1/4)
TONIGHT: The Undertaker takes a shot at Albert and the intercontinental title! Also, a WCW match! Buff Bagwell vs. Booker T for the WCW Championship - ooh, listen to the crowd BOO! All this starts...in just under FOUR minutes!
TV-14-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Here's a Special Video Look at WCW "invading" the WWF...leading to
Linda and Vince making some pay-per-view plans for WCW
Opening Credits - CC box
MAN that's a lotta pyro - there's yet another video screen added to the stage setup (right in the middle - think SmackDown!) and WE ARE LIVE from the Tacomadome in Tacoma, WA 2.7.1, transmitido en espanol SAP on TNN and maybe TSN and HISTORY WILL BE MADE TONIGHT. Also, there's some fans at WWF New York. Let's waste no time...
...bringing out MR. McMAHON, who seems in much better spirits than when we saw him last, opening his arms wide to the audience and confidently striding to the ring. Tonight, Undertaker vs. Albert, Molly Holly vs. Crash, and some WCW stuff... "Well well well! July the 22nd...July - July the 22nd, now let's be respectful now, let's not get carried away here in Tacoma. ["He said Tacoma!"] On July the 22nd, 2001, that day - that day will mark the date as the greatest single day in sports entertainment history! Because that will be the day - that will be the day when finally it is here: WCW versus WWF! That's happening in about twenty days, allegedly there's going to be an Invasion - well there's not gonna be an Invasion, folks - there's going to be an *annihilation* on that date. (pop) I mean, let's face it - how can you compare the two organisations - WCW and WWF? That's kinda like comparing our nation's capital, Washington D.C., with...the state of Washington. Well, on the one hand, in Washington DC (our nation's capital), you have all the important decisions of the free world being made, and then here in the state of Washington...you've got lousy weather, and all you do is grow a buncha apples. I mean, if you wanna compare, all right - let's compare - let's compare the WCW Champion (Booker T) with - let's compare him to the WWF Champion (Stone Cold Steve Austin). Booker T has no integrity - he's a sneak, he's a cheat, Stone Cold is a champion of champions! Austin - Austin is a...man among men! There is absolutely no comparison to the two organisations, but I can tell you this - I can promise you this...at Invasion, no no, I can GUARANTEE you this. I can--" KURT ANGLE interrupts at this point, just in case Vince was about to make a guarantee he can't possibly make come true. "Sir, Mr. McMahon...I'm sorry to come out here and interrupt you, but your words were so moving, I just couldn't help myself. I wish everybody had a boss more like you. And you're absolutely right about everything...for instance, in addition to lacking integrity, Booker T. also lacks intensity and intelligence as well. (RACISM!) Let's take a look at the trouble that he has caused. First, the King of the Ring - look at this, Booker T. comes outta nowhere and throws Stone Cold Steve Austin around like a rag doll - look at this, d'you believe that? And then, you think it's over, no - Monday Night RAW - Booker T outsmarts Stone Cold Steve Austin, luring him to WWF New York, therefore leaving you alone where Booker T can attack you, and I tried to warn Steve - Steve Austin, but he wouldn't listen to me! And then, last week on SmackDown!, Booker T. comes outta nowhere - he comes outta nowhere and attacks - has the nerve to attack Stone Cold Steve Austin, hit him in the head with the WCW title, leaving Stone Cold as dazed and starry-eyed as a teenage girl at a Ricky Martin concert...which isn't all that bad. I've been to Ricky Martin concerts before, they're actually pretty good - but the point is, the point is...Booker T. has made our WWF Champion (Stone Cold Steve Austin), look like...well what Stone Cold would say: like a jackass. He did." Of course you know MY NAME IS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN isn't gonna let THAT lay without coming out. Angle halts him from a corner pose. "Whoa whoa, hold on a second, hold on a second, Steve. I know you're very angry at Booker T. and I don't blame you, but rest assured I'm fully recovered from my awe-inspiring performance at King of the Ring against Shane McMahon, and I promise - no, I make a personal vow to make sure that Booker T. never attacks you or Mr. McMahon ever again. It's true, it's damn true." "So all of a sudden you're the big bodyguard here in the World Wrestling Federation. Am I understanding you clearly? You're gonna protect Booker T. from doing this - you're gonna protect Booker T. from doing that - how you gonna stop Booker T. from doing a damn thing with Stone Cold Steve Austin's foot lodged up your Olympic Ass? Shut up! The problem ain't Booker T. - look at me when I'm talkin' to ya - your little cauliflower ears. The problem ain't Booker T., it's Kurt Angle. Vince McMahon and Stone Cold Steve Austin are a team - we don't need you - we don't - (looks at Vince) we don't want you - Austin-McMahon is a team; you don't fit into the equation. Basically, I guess if I was to Bottom Line this - is I think - I think you're a complete jackass. Vince thinks you're a jackass, everybody here thinks you're a jackass...you tell him, Vince - you tell him face to face - go ahead, look at his beady little eyes and tell him he's a jackass." "Whoa whoa whoa - no no - I'm a hero, I'm not a jackass!" "You're a jackass." "No, I'm a hero!" "You're a jackass." "I'm a hero!" "Jackass." "Hero!" "Jackass!" "Hero!" "Jackass!" "Hero!" "Jackass!" "Hero!" Vince: "Wait a minute, dammit, wait a minute! Listen...if the two of you to go at it...then why don't you just go ahead and...beat the hell outta each other if you have to!" Austin drops the belt and they stand at the ready - Vince tries to keep them away from each other...and then Angle hugs Vince! Vince reacts with confusion as Angle resumes the UFC stance - Austin is in disbelief. "Oh, you son of a bitch..." Of course, Austin THROWS his arms around Vince...then looks back at Angle with a smile. Angle is ready to unleash another hug, but Austin heads him off with a shove! Austin goes for a hug - Angle shoves HIM. Before this breaks into a shoving match, "Brand New Money" fires up and the WCW spotlights hit the ramp - SHANE O. MAC is out - all three men in the ring turn to look at him. "Now let me get this straight - we have an Olympic Gold Medalist and a WWF Champion competing for hugs? (Ross laughs to let you know this is FUNNY) Is this RAW, or is this an episode of Sesame Street? Now if it's an episode of Sesame Street, then tonight's show will be brought to you by the letter I - and no, Kurt, it's not one of your three I's - hello by the way - no, tonight's I stands for Invasion. And you see Dad, WCW - at Invasion, we will be the underdogs, and you know what, that's exactly how we like it. However, how 'bout at Invasion, Dad - you put your best guys on one side of the ring, and I'll take my best guys and put them at the other side of the ring, and we'll have them go at it...in the first ever Inaugural Brawl. Now Dad, I don't have your power, I don't have your money, I don't have your stroke...but what I do have tonight is the power to make the main event on your show. So tonight, Dad, history will be made In That Very Ring...because tonight, the WCW Champion Booker T. will defend the title - will defend the title, by the way the very title that Booker T. hit Stone Cold Steve Austin upside the head with last Thursday on SmackDown! - Booker T. will defend the title against none other than Buff 'the Stuff' Bagwell. And Dad, by the way, just in case you think this is Stone Cold's prime opportunity to get payback on Booker T., remember this - Mom is watching, and she's watching with her attorneys, and Mom would be very, very very VERY upset if Stone Cold were to get involved in this matchup - so tonight, Dad, history will be made, and R-A-W becomes W-C-W."
Shane likes Sesame Street so much, let's sing! "One of these things is not like the other / Which one is different, do you know / Can you tell me which one is not like the other / Now before I finish my song." Your four corners of the screen show: Vince McMahon, Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, and.....Shane McMahon. Understand?
The APA are watching their SmackDown! tape. Faarooq: "Hey - hey,
I'm telling you, man, think about it. Last Thursday when Shane and Booker
T. were leaving the building, Shane was thankin' SOMEBODY for the tipoff.
Now I'm telling you we had everything covered. So how could Booker T.
have gotten in the building, and how could he have known when to leave?
And who the hell was Shane talkin' to?" "I think what's more important
than how they got into the Garden and how they got out is WHO let 'em in,
and who let 'em out. I think the person Shane was talkin' to on that cel
phone was the same one that did that, and the same one that let Palumbo &
O'Haire into WWF New York last night during Sunday Night Heat. Sounds to
me like we got a, uh, mole in our yard." "Big time." "Why don't we go ah
mole hunting?" "Let's do that."
WOW! Miami Vice marathon rerun TOMORROW! NO GOLF!
And now, the WWF Boot of the Week, brought to you by LUGZ! From RAW last week, Diamond Dallas Page strikes from behind with a chair...then gets a shock of hair for his troubles.
WWF INTERALBERTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: TAKER (with Sara, on His Beautiful Rude American Bike) v. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALBERT (by his damn self, with Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown!) - Hey, I can see Sara's bloomers! Wow, this is the curtain jerker? Wow, this has the main event ref, "Blind" Earl Hebner? Think they want to bring the ratings back up for the first hour? I wonder if this is the choice to make to do it...staredown to start - crowd is up. Albert shoves him away - whoa, Albert with "Iblockyoursoupboneyoudon'tblockmypunch!" Right, kick, right, right, right, right, kick. Into the opposite yaaaah corner. Yaaah clothesline ducked - Taker comes back with a death suplex. Taker drops the elbow - another elbowdrop. Head to the buckle - back elbow by Taker, into the opposite corner, big lariat. Back to the first corner...Taker looks to Sara, then tries a splash...only to be caught in a bearhug. Albert punctuating his bearhug with a staccato series of YAHs. Taker going to the eyes...no, I guess not. Taker raring back the elbow...no, the bearhug is too much and he can't throw it. Heyman really wants us to know Albert is Jewish, I guess. Taker coming back - bell clap! Uppercut breaks it - off the ropes but Albert lands the pump kick - 1, 2, NO! Albert from the mount - right, right, right, words for Hebner. PlayStation Double Feature of the yaah kick, while in real-time Albert lands another right - shoulder into the gut, into the opposite corner but Taker gets the elbow up - ducks a clothesline, and hits a flying clothesline of his own. Got him in the choke...CHOKESLAM! Oh oh, here's one of the warning signs: EVERYBODY in the crowd is standing up, anticipating the run-in. That's NOT good. Taker making the sign of the tombstone - sorry, Last Ride - sure enough, here comes DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE with a chair in the back for the Reaper (DQ 2:46) - sigh. DIAMOND CUTTER! Taker sells it much better than Kane did. Page outside...and beckoning to Sara. Here she comes. Page brushes her presence aside, turns his back and walks up the ramp...but Sara runs up to meet him with a big shove! Page turns back, and Sara assumes the Ken Shamrock fighting stance. "You wanna play?" Page evades the swing - Page blocks the next punch, slaps away the next one - rares back...and Sara backs up. The crowd gets super load - can only mean KANE is up from behind, unbeknownst to Page. Page rares back one more time to try the punch - Kane hooks the arm, right, right, right, right, crowd is going batshit as Kane rains down the punches on Page - brings him up and whips him around with another punch. Sara finally holds back Kane...only to wind up and kick a field goal with Page's nuts! Then Kane throws Page into the ring - soupbone from the Taker! Soupbone! Soupbone! Albert comes back in to take advantage of a distracted Taker - this brings Kane in on Albert - they end up pinballing him with right hands as Page makes an escape. Albert up and over the top rope...HE'LL take off as they play "Rollin'" one more time. Wow, with all this jobbing Page should be pretty much worthless by the time the PPV comes around - the crowd may dig it, but I'm starting to not see how this can end up better for Page financially than taking the Time/Warner cheques and sitting at home. On yet another hand, jobbing to Taker doesn't automatically mean you have no hope of a push against a "lesser" opponent, right? On the OTHER hand, didn't they just protect...ALBERT? So wouldn't this put Page BELOW Albert on the food chain here? Ohhhhh my head hurts, let's figure it out later
Hey, in that Mr. T 1-800-COL-LECT ad, when that little white girl
says "AH PITY THE FOOL that don't use 1-800-COLLET" - that's RACISM
WWF Live! Tix on sale Saturday for San Diego and Uniondale!
Wow, look, it's Torrie Wilson and her breasts - and all of them are WALKING! Howard Finkel introduces himself and shakes her hand for the entire segment. She gets directions to Vince McMahon's office...
GIVE CRASH HIS DAMN LAST NAME BACK ALREADY, DAMMIT (with Jacqueline - and PMS's music - and Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown!) v. MOLLY HOLLY (with Spike Damn Dudley - and Crash's music - and Also Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown!) - word on the street is Crash has apologised to Jackie and they're friends again. They shake hands for our benefit to establish this. It's cousin vs. cousin in intergender action. Lockup, no Crash shoves her down to get the crowd booing - stomp. Crash lunges at Spike, who maintains respectful distance. Molly comes back with a 'rana. Dropkick! Crash blocks the punch and puts Molly piggyback, but she hits a victory roll for 2. Knee by Crash, hairpull to the mat. Molly breaks out - chop, chop, whip is reversed - head down, Molly kicks...but only after making sure Jackie wasn't tripping her up. Molly off the ropes again, and this time Jackie DOES ankle her. At this point, Crash was probably supposed to mistakenly hit a tope suicida on Jackie, but instead of sailing *through* the ropes, he ends up *landing* on them, then awkwardly bouncing to the apron and out to the floor. Oof. In the ring goes Molly - Jackie tells him to get back in the ring as a "you fucked up" chant fires up in the crowd. Back in goes Crash - double sledge by Molly, kick, kick, into the ropes is reversed into a short clothesline by Crash. Crash with a hairpull from the camel clutch (but not) position. "Kiss your girlfriend, Spike!" Front face - big vertical suplex. Spike on the apron, right hand puts him down. Spike back in, drawing over referee "Blind" Chad Patton who tries vainly to put him back down - behind his back, Jacqueline puts Molly on the top turnbuckle and calls over Crash - but instead of a high ten, she hot shots Crash! Molly comes to - Molly-Go-Round - 1, 2, 3! (2:04) Instead of Jackie getting revenge for a miscommunication spot (which didn't happen), it instead looks more like a SHOCKING SWERVE (which is isn't). Jackie waylays Crash with a forearm and a huge tornado DDT post-match - let's call the whole thing off. This just in from the slashwrestling.com scorer - number of Tough Enough mentions: 2
To the Room of Fun we go! "Debra, help me out here, I mean....guys, we've GOT to get along." Angle: "I know." Austin: "I'd get along better if he left." "Why ME leave?" "Why not?" "Why?" "Why not?" "Why?" "Wait a minute..." "Come in!" "Look we've got to get along - we've got to get along - hello, Torrie!" Angle is up with a handshake, heading off Vince's handshake "Hey Torrie, how ya doin', Kurt Angle Olympic Gold Medalist." "Hi Kurt, yeah we met last Thursday." "Ah, that's right...nice to meet ya again." "Ahhh how's it goin' - Champ." Debra gets a shake as well. "Mr. McMahon, can we possibly maybe finish up our conversation from last Thursday about a contract...?" "Ah...now might be a good time." Austin: "Yeah. Debra, if you and Kurt wanna leave, we gotta discuss something about her contract." "Well, maybe - maybe I should - not embarrass anybody here and go out for just a moment." "You don't need me?" "Oh, not that I don't need you, I...but I think that--" Austin hugs McMahon. "See ya in a minute." "Okay - and I'll be right back in just a few moments." "I'll be waitin' for ya!" "You look fantastic - did I ever tell you that's my favourite colour? Oh wow, that's it - nice tan, oh yeah." And out they go. Debra: "I thought Mr. McMahon told his wife that he changed." "He is a changed man, Debra! He's trying to talk business! How's he gonna sit there and talk business in front of you know who - you know who with the gold medals around his neck?" "Who me?" "Yeah, he can't talk in front of you - you're gonna tell everybody!" "Wait a minute - he's not uncomfortable with *me*!" "I think he is." "No, he's not - not with me." "I think he is." "No, I don't think so." "Then why'd he leave?" Angle makes some head motions in Debra's direction, Austin duplicates his move but doesn't understand it, Angle repeats the head bob, then says very softly... "Wife." Austin slowly turns his head Debra's way. "You got a point."
Still daylight in the Pacific time zone - here's a look at the beautiful Tacoma Dome
Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! when Palumbo & O'Haire made a shocking debut...and endured a shocking beatdown
Christian admires his reflection in the King of the Ring trophy. Edge joins him in the locker room. "Hey!" "Hey." "What'cha doin'?" "Oh you know I'm just thinking. It's funny how things work out sometimes. I mean if the King of the Ring brackets had been different, and you faced Kurt in the semis and I faced him in the finals...chances are I'd be King of the Ring." "Well, that is funny, but the fact remains that I won the King of the Ring." "Oh, I know...and I'm totally happy for ya, but that's why tonight, I wanna win the light heavyweight title. That way you be King of the Ring, and I'd have my singles title and we'd both be totally successful." "Yeah, and that's why I'm gonna be in your corner tonight, to make sure that happens." "Thanks man, you're the best. Look, I gotta get changed though, okay?" "Okay." Christian leaves...then comes back for the trophy. "Yeah, let me get this polished up too. All right."
To the Commissioner's office. "Now, Tajiri, I know you hadn't seen the worm until the other evening on SmackDown!, but you've got to be ready for it when you face Scotty 2 Hotty in the next match - I mean, you'll know when it's coming, because he'll knock you down, and he gets this demented look on his face - eee ee - and he goes like that, and he starts hopping around - W - O - and then he sort of starts doing this, like this, you know, and then he just..." Regal's array of hilarious facial expressions is cut short when the Dudley Boyz arrive. "Oh, hello!" D-Von: "I'm sorry, did we interrupt something?" "It's been wonderful weather today, hasn't it? Not humid--" Bubba: "You've got some explaining to do, my fine English friend. We're the tag team champions, so what are we doin' in a match against Chris Jericho?" "Well...there was a strong rumour going around before King of the Ring that if Chris Jericho won the WWF title, he was going to defect to WCW. Now, I promised Mr. McMahon that he would be punished for this - it's all about loyalty. I mean, where would the great leaders of the world be without loyalty? When Winston Churchill sent out the troops - 'we will fight them on the beaches' - where would he have been without loyalty? ... Look, let me just put it to you like this: just put the miserable bugger right through a table." D-Von: "Is that all you want, Chris Jericho through a table?" "Yes." Bubba: "All you had to do was ask." "Yeah, man." "Cheerio!" "I think I explained that rather nicely. What the bloody hell are you doing?" Looks like Tajiri is POPPIN' AND LOCKIN'
To APA - and Hardcore Holly. "Okay look. Listen, I understand everything that you're trying to say - and I respect everything you guys are trying to do. But I am not the stooge that you're looking for. If you remember, I was there when we stopped Palumbo & O'Haire - and I was there when we chased Booker T. - hell I was the one that even jumped on the limo!" "Hey look man - we're not blamin' you for anything." "Bob you've been one of us for a long time, we appreciate everything you've done. The problem is there's somebody out there who's lettin' WCW guys into a WWF building. There's a stooge out there, and we are going to find his ass." "Well listen - maybe you need to think about who was NOT there. Maybe you need to think about who wasn't there when we beat the hell outta Palumbo and O'Haire, and who wasn't there when we chased Booker and Shane out of the building. I was there." He walks off. "You know...he might be right, man."
To Vince and Torrie. "So, you wanna talk contract." "Right, Mr. McMahon, I hope this isn't an inconvenience to you I was really hopin' that we could get together this weekend, and I just want you to know how badly I wanna be a WWF superstar - I mean, I've been wanting this thing my whole life, and I would be willing to do just about...anything to get to the top in WWF - just give me a chance." "Um, well let me just say that first of all, I forgive you for not being able to make this weekend - but Torrie, how badly do you want to be a WWF--" "Oh BAD, bad." "No no no Torrie -
how BADLY do you want to be a WWF superstar?" "Ohhh! Oh,
(stroking his hair) oh, bad, bad, oh yes Mr. McMahon--" "Vince! Hey
Vince - Vince!" It's Austin doing his "Kilroy was here" impersonation"
with the shower door - oh, they're in a shower. "You said you wanted to
talk over her contract, you're standing in the shower with Torrie, what is
this?" "S- Sometimes there's no good place to - to - to talk business
except in the shower." "Well, there you go, that's fine, I got no problem
with that but we gotta - we gotta talk about Invasion man, I got tunnel
vision. That's all I'm thinking about is Invasion! Are you thinking
about it?" "That's all I'm thinkin' 'bout--" "Is it." "That's all I'm
thinking about. And sometimes, these deliberations, they kind, have to
take a life unto themselves, you know, and..." "I know whatcha mean.
I'll go get us some coffee." "Thank you - thank you very much." "I'll be
back in a little while?" "Thank you... very much. I think maybe we need
to find a place that's a little more private - okay." Vince makes sure to
leer at Torrie's ass for our benefit as she leaves first.
The WWF Overdrive of the Week is brought to you by Greyhound! From SmackDown!, Scotty 2 Hotty makes a triumphant return - and hits the Worm
SCOTTY 2 HOTTY (with RAW is WAR is brought to you by Stacker 2, PlayStation 2, and the JVC Giga-Tube....2) v. (yoshihiro) TAJIRI (with Commissioner Regal - and Regal's music) - Ross announces attendance at 17,553. Lockup, side headlock by Tajiri - Hotty powers out, shoulderblock by Tajiri. Up and over, leapfrog by Hotty, Tajiri catches a kick and backflips Hotty - Hotty ducks a clothesline - two twists on the death suplex - breakdancin', off the ropes with an elbowdrop, another elbowdrop, a THIRD elbowdrop, 1, 2, no. Tajiri put in the corner, drops down and dumps Hotty on the apron on the charge, ducks an apron clothesline and lands a superkick! Hotty brought into the ring - knife-edge chop - whip is revesed - Tajiri gets the feet up on the charge and hooks him into the Tarantula. Referee "Blind" Jack Doan don't want none o' that illegal stuff - "ECW" chant by the crowd. Right by Hotty, right, right, into the ropes, clothesline ducked - Tajiri on the shoulders...but Hotty recovers and hits a powerbomb. Slap by Tajiri, slap by Hotty, slap by Tajiri, Hotty, Tajiri, gutshot by Hotty, off the ropes, Tajiri ducks the clothesline, but Hotty lands the superkick and Tajiri goes outside. Heyman sneaks an "ECW" into commentary - baseball slide dropkick by Hotty. Tajiri put back in - he tries to get a double axehandle to head off Hotty, but he ducks it on the apron and puts a shoulder in the gut - back to back over the top rope, gutshot, off the ropes with a bulldog...oh boy here it comes - W - O - R - M - Regal on the apron - hoo hoo hoo GREEN MIST!! Tajiri with the KICK - 1, 2, 3! (2:50) Tajiri covers his mouth so Doan doesn't see him...and walks out, whooping it up - Regal is proud.
Back to Vince and Torrie. "Oh, yes. Now I know that these surroundings are probably a little...unconventional." "Mr. McMahon, is this a mop closet?" "A mop closet? No, Torrie...this is not a mop closet. Torrie, this is...uh...not a mop closet at all - this is...Shangri-La." And he starts nibbling on her neck...that is, until Kurt Angle pops open the door. "Hey, I *thought* I heard voices in here! ...Mr. McMahon - you're in a freakin' MOP CLOSET! What the heck are you doin' in a mop closet? Oh, Torrie, have you seen my gold medals?" "Those are nice, Kurt." "Pretty impressive, huh?" "Let's just say we're both into gold." Again, Torrie and Vince leave - Vince shooting Kurt a thousand daggers in his eyes - and Kurt is left to tell No One in Particular Except Maybe the Guy With the Camera, "I think she likes me!"
Tough Enough ad - this week, Triple H GETS POLITICAL
When we come back, Booker T (and his belt) are having problems getting the Pepsi machine to accept his dollar (RACISM!) "Hey, Test - how you doin' man - Booker T." "Hey man - nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, man. Hey man, Shane's told me a lot about you, man. Question: think you might ever come to WCW?" "Heh - that depends." "Depends on what?" "Well, Booker...you never know. Could be me one day instead of Buff...facing you for that. It just depends on the competition - and more importantly, the money. Good luck tonight, man."
THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ (with RAW Credits & Transmitido En Espanol SAP) v. CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO (with TV-14-DLV & CC boxes) -
Jericho and it's on - pummelin' in the corner. The beatdown continues.
Wow, who'da thunk it but we see referee "Blind" Earl Hebner for the second
time tonight! Double whip into the opposite corner - D-Von whips Bubba
Ray into the corner but Jericho evades him, then gives D-Von a forearm
shiver - Viscera kick for Bubba Ray! D-Von clotheslined outside - Bubba
Ray puts him in the ropes but puts his head down - kick by Jericho, but
Bubba Ray hot shots him on the top rope - big clothesline puts him down.
D-Von with the headbutt to the graun. Hebner takes umbrage at this
blatant rule breakery. "You better knock that shit off - you don't do
that! You don't do that, I tell ya!" Bubba Ray: "We do whatever we want
- get your hands outta my face!" Hebner shoves him - into a Jericho
rollup! 1, 2, D-Von saves. D-Von with the stomp as Bubba Ray heads to
his corner - into the ropes, jumpin' back elbow. "Who's the man?" "Y2J"
chant from the crowd. Right hand by D-Von. Tag. Open slap. Right hand
by Bubba Ray - right, right, tag. Into the ropes, double flapjack.
D-Von covers - 1, 2, kickout. Right hand by D-Von. Tag. Bubba Ray is
all "c'mon, Jericho!" but he's dead weight on the second rope. Overhand
rights into the back. "Get up! Get up!" Another fist in the back. Tag
to D-Von, and Bubba Ray goes to the second rope - he wants D-Von to feed
him for the superbomb, but Jericho backflips over his back...and shoves
D-Von into a headbutt of Bubba Ray's graun! Off the ropes - bulldog for
D-Von! Over to the corner - overhead slam from the second rope to the
mat! Now all three men are down - D-Von up first - right, Jericho right,
D-Von, Jericho, D-Von, Jericho, Jericho, Jericho - into the ropes, back
elbow by Jericho. Clothesline! Springboard dropkick for Bubba Ray puts
him on the floor. Ducks a clothesline from D-Von, double leg takedown,
Walls of Jericho! D-Von is just about ready to give it up...when Bubba
Ray pulls Hebner out of the ring, causing him to miss D-Von's tap -
apparently, he can't hear it neither. Bubba Ray with a clothesline to the
back to break up the hold - and now he's outside, and now he's got a table
in the ring. Here comes SPIKE DAMN
DUDLEY with a forearm in the back -
Dudley 'dog...and Bubba Ray lands on D-Von! Jericho runs to the ropes -
Lionsault (to his head? Yikes) - Hebner back in thanks to Spike - 1, 2,
3! (4:55) Thank
God this was nontitle - umm, it was nontitle, right?
And now they're in - a restroom? "So, I think this environment is just a little more private...and I think maybe we are going to find out just how badly you really..." "How bad, you know how bad..." "Oh, I do, do I? Well why don't we just find out - yeah." Then he deeply kisses...her chin? She goes for his neck...but stops short. "What is it?" "What's that cologne you're wearing?" "It's a little strong?" They go to kiss again, but we hear a flush. It's Perry Saturn...and his mop. "Duty." "Torrie, come on. Come on." Vince shoots Saturn a look. "You're welcome." I think Vince must have been wondering who that guy was. Or maybe he was wondering why he didn't check the stalls earlier...
Tickets are still available for SummerSlam - 19 August from the Compaq Centre at San Jose! Get 'em NOW!
Last Thursday in San Antonio, Dr. Lloyd Youngblood talked a bit about Chris Benoit's neck surgery. Hey, is that Woman? The operation took about three hours. He'll be in a hard collar now for about a month - around three to four months out, he can "pick up the weight," in about six months "we may let him get a little more physical," and in a year, "he'll be able to do pretty much what he wants without restriction. No word yet on whether we'll see him in a Special Interview during Halftime Heat.
WWF LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: CHRISTIAN (with King Edge - and the trophy) v. X-PACTOR (with Justin Credible) - Quick "X-Pac sux" chant. Feeling out process - side headlock by X-Pac, grinding it in, chain wrestling to the hammerlock - Christian elbows out (it takes two), shoulderblock off the ropes. Up and over, leapfrog by X-Pac, hiptoss blocked by Christian, gutshot by X-Pac, flippy flippy, but Christian clotheslines him. Arm wringer applied. Forearm by X-Pac, forearm breaks it - whip into the ropes is reversed, X-Pac ducks, but Christian lands a powerslam for 2. X-Pac into the ropes - ducks the clothesline, and hits a heel kick. X-Pac poses to stoke the booing. Elbow to the back of the head - another - stomp. Lightning legdrop - 1, 2, Christian kicks out. X-Pac goes to the headlock.
Christian back to his feet -
elbow, elbow, elbow - off the ropes but runs into a Viscera - 1, 2,
kickout. X-Pac has the hair - head to the buckle. Kick trifecta. X-Pac
goes into the gallop...but Christian is up - and HE lands a
Viscera! Christian ducks a clotehsline, right, right, into the ropes,
reversed, ducks a heel kick, got him on the shoulders - into the
gutbuster. Credible up on the apron - Edge up to clothesline him
off...but he shouldn't stay there, or he's likely to be involved in a
collision when Christian reverses the Irish whip! Sure enough, X-Pac runs
right into Edge - then back into Christian, who hits the Slop
Drop. Credible is back in, though, and monopolising referee "Blind" Mike
Chioda's time in the process - he's got the title belt - Edge back in,
takes it away from him and waffles Credible with it! While ALL this has
been going on, Christian has been holding X-Pac down with a lateral
press...but we never got a count. Christian up...and wondering why the
heck Edge is in the ring. Finally Edge steps through the ropes - but not
before X-Pac lands a belt shot on Christian, and stashes it out of
sight. Chioda over - 1, 2, 3. Champ retains. (3:34) Edge is rather
unhappy with what went down - we can only imagine how Christian
feels. Meanwhile, X-Pac is caressing the title belt as if it were his
prized teddy bear Bobo.
"Look, we've figured it out - that's who it's gotta be. He was the only one not there when we beat up Palumbo & O'Haire. He was the only one not there when we chased Shane and Booker T. out of the Garden - Test is the stooge, it's the only one that makes sense!" "Makes sense to me, but for his sake we better be wrong." Jack Doan happens by - they ask where Test is. He says he's probably preparing for his match with Rhyno... "but uh hey, last time I seen him, he was talking with Booker T." "WHAT? I think it's time we had us a little emergency mole meeting." "Yer damn right."
Here's a look at WWF New York
Here's a look at TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ inside WWF New York - and not in the best of moods, it appears. He still signs an autograph for a fan, though - wotta guy
Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! when Tazz and Stone Cold Steve Austin had a showdown - and Tazz lost.
RHYNO (THE MAN BEAST) (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST for a shot at Mike Awesome at Invasion - Rhyno doesn't wait for him to get through the ropes before starting to throw punches - right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, into the opposite corner, Test gets an elbow up - but runs into a left-arm clothesline from Rhyno. Right. Kick, kick, kick - hmmm, looks like THE DIRTY DOZEN are making their way down the aisle - meanwhile, in the ring referee "Blind" Chad Patton is trying to get Rhyno to release a choke. Hmm, I guess half the refs are on 4th of July holiday early... Head to the buckle by Rhyno - into the opposite corner is reversed but Rhyno holds on - gutshot, sent into the corner, spear. Right, right, Test ducks the next right, hooks the arm and hits a full nelson into a uranage. And now the twelve angry men surround the ring. Who are they, you ask? Well, tonight I see K-Kwik, Hardcore Holly, Essa Rios, Bull Buchanan, Haku, Jery Lynn, Billy Gunn, Raven, Kai En Tai and the APA. 1, 2, nope. Head to the buckle by Test - right, right, kick, kick, kick, stomp stomp stomp stomp. Into the ropes, reversed, but Test pulls him back - gutshot - Meltdown attempt but Rhyno goes down the back - forearm in the back, forearm, forearm, off the ropes but Test puts up the Wotsitolla Boot (thanks, Kevin Kelly) and puts him down. Buchanan and Holly up on the apron, drawing over Patton - on the opposite side of the ring - Faarooq is up - Test takes umbrage..then runs into an apron Hades lariat from Bradshaw. Staggered, Test turns round and eats GORE! GORE! GORE! 1, 2, 3. (2:15) They storm the ring and swarm Test. Lots of people take turns laying in blows, and the exclamation point is a double powerbomb by Bradshaw and Faarooq. Play the APA's music!
NEXT: Matt Hardy & Lita take on Big Show & Trish!
Don't miss the WWF Live - Tacoma (again), North Charleston,
Augusta, Atlanta, and Birmingham are the next five stops in eight days!
MATT HARDY & LITA (with Jeff Hardy and PlayStation proudly presents InVasion!) v. WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW & TRISH STRATUS - THE FITNESS MODEL (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) in level-headed, rational intergender action - The men start. Show runs him into the corner - knee, knee, knee, into the opposite corner with power. Show brings him out - well it's a big press...and drop. Trish wants the tag? She gets it! Kick! Hardy with a leg sweep, grabs her hair - and tags Lita - crowd goes apeshit. Okay, here we go. Trish starts it off with a big slap - Lita fires back. Alleged hiptoss. Head to the buckle - kick, kick, right, another alleged hiptoss. Show comes in at this point and tells Trish to take five - he dares Lita to try a headscissors on HIM - she does - he catches her and keeps her legs wrapped around his head (ewwww!) - before he can powerbomb her, however, Matt is in, dropkicking his booty (Ross: "to the knee!") and causing him to fall. Lita and Matt punch away - Show is back to his knees, Hardy with a dropkick to the midsection, putting Show through the ropes and outside. Lita with a right for Trish - off the ropes but Show trips her. Matt slides outside - Show clotheslines him down. Jeff tries a barricade run - Show clotheslines HIM down. Trish with the bulldog - that's her move! 1, 2, NO!! Huh? Trish is ready to go for a second one...but Lita shoves her out of the attempt - Trish goes sailing into the corner, through the ropes, and hooks herself into the Tree of Woe! Referee "Blind" Teddy Long tries to free her, while behind his back...Show is back in - ohhh Lita in the choke - MATT in the choke - oh man this'll be cool - oh no it won't, Lita and Matt each kick Show in a nut, then drop him with a double DDT. Hardy kicks Show out of the ring as Lita prevents Stratus from leaving - here's a ... Twist of Fate, I guess, but Trish starts to sell it about half a second before Lita starts to apply it. Lita going up top - moonsault completely misses but why quibble. 1, 2, 3. (3:20) Show is back in and he's pissed - shoving all of Team Xtreme out of the ring...and now yelling at Trish. Jeff is back up to the top, however, and hits a missile dropkick on Show! Play their music again! Show starts screaming. I wonder if Trish is grateful to Jeff Hardy for saving her?
Vince continues to ogle Torrie. "You know, I was just thinking that um...you know, as much as I would like to consummate our deal here tonight, um...you know with all the interruptions and all of that, uh - maybe we could like, later tonight, I mean after the event is over...there's really no location." "I have an idea. There was a place that I saw that I don't think either one of us thought about...and just trust me on this one, I think this one might work. Okay?" "Ohh, yeah Torrie. Ohhh yeah."
Meanwhile, Shane McMahon is WALKING! He catches up with Buff Bagwell. "Hey man, how ya doin'? Historic night." "Very historic." "Good luck to you." "What?" "Good luck to you." "Heh - I don't rely on luck, big man. I rely on skill - that's why I'm Buff - and I'm the stuff. And that's why after tonight, you my friend are gonna have a new WCW Champion. Do you got it? Get it." "Like I said, good luck to ya." "Yeah."
Tough Enough ad #2 - Triple H makes it "a powerful episode"
Okay, I think I've seen that naked green M&M enough times tonight
Beers and cards all around as they celebrate. Bradshaw: "We just killed us a mole!" Well I see thirteen men here...guess I missed Goodfather earlier in the show...or did I? Anyway, Sergeant Slaughter arrives on the scene, causing Michinoku to salute... "at ease, Taka! About that mole you guys were looking for - it can't be Test! Test ain't the mole. Remember last week when you chased Booker T. and Shane McMahon out of the arena? Well I was with Test, he was at his post...where he should be! That's right - we were talking about the alley fight Pat Patterson and I had back in '81 at the Garden. And he didn't have a cel phone with him either, so it can't be Test." Bradshaw: "Ah we'll be DAMNED. So if it ain't Test...then it's somebody else."
Your hosts are LARRY KING & PAUL HEYMAN - but not from this point on...
The WWF logo changes to a WCW one..and some music plays. HIT THE PYRO HERE COMES THE MONEY and just like in the WWF show, we use the first segment to bring out the Mac in charge - SHANE O. MAC. Different set of chyron for the show, not to mention the "WCW" taking the place of the "WWF" on the screen underneath the EntertainmentTron (although the screens on either side still scroll "RAW IS WAR." Hey, let's give 'em credit...WCW, indeed, gets the money quarter hour this week.
"Welcome everyone to history in the making! Welcome everyone to
WCW! And without further ado, allow me to introduce you to your
commentary team for this evening, being accompanied by the special guest
ring announcer, the sexy STACY
- give it up - SCOTT
A - ARN
proudly opens his blazer to show off the free
T-shirt he got for working tonight. Stacy shows everybody her
ass. Handshakes all around, and the commentators leave the ring to assume
the position. "Ladies and gentlemen, your referee for this historic WCW
Championship match is NICK
PATRICK." Resounding boos. "The following
contest is scheduled--" Whoops, it's COMMISSIONER REGAL &
(yoshihiro) TAJIRI. Scott Hudson's historic first
are... "Commissioner Regal." Hoo boy.... "Now I understand by the letter
of the law that there has to be a WCW match here tonight, but it doesn't
say anything about you, Shane McMahon, having to be a part of
it. Therefore, Security will escort you out of the building...into your
car, and accompany you to your hotel. SECURITY, please. Thank you,
gentlemen, please." "You know what, Regal, I have no problem with
that. You know why, 'cause nothing's ruinin' my night tonight, no no,
because unlike my father I don't NEED to be in the spotlight. Okay? It
should be all about the stars of WCW, that's where it should be - the
promotion will never be run around Shane McMahon, no no, it will always
be about the WCW superstars." WOW SOMEBODY FINALLY SAID "WCW
SUPERSTARS!" (I bet it was an accident) Regal's music plays as Shane
walks away. Anderson proclaims this "bigger than D-Day, bigger than the
NEXT: Buff Bagwell vs. Booker T. for the WCW [World] Championship! Or, if you're Scott Hudson, the "WWF" Championship. Oh my!
Say, do the people providing content to wcw.com know that the promotion isn't supposed to revolve around Shane McMahon?
For that matter, how come Seth "You know my name because I have mentioned the Internet on wwf.com" Mates has a byline for ANY wcw.com article? Doesn't that strain our suspension of disbelief, after all? Us Internet folk are supposed to be pretty hep about stuff like that....
WCW CHAMPIONSHIP: NAPPY T v. BUFF DADDY BAGWELL - Champ enters first because, well, this *is* WCW after all. T. is identified as "WCW and US Champion" so there you go. Big-time flames on the stage for the champ. Keibler ain't no Mike McGuirk, that's for DAMN sure. While I'm here, have I complained enough about how the new WCW logo SUCKS? Wow, I've really missed complaining about WCW! YEAH! Buff also gets a bungload of fireworks. Where's David Penzer when you need him? Patrick is modeling the WCW referee's ensemble - white polo shirt with WCW logo - eh. Patrick doesn't get to display the title belt before Bagwell jumps on T with a right, right, right. Right. Kick, block by T - right, right, Bagwell to the eyes. Into the ropes is reversed by T - clothesline ducked, gutshot, double underhook DDT (almost a side-saddle Pedigree, hmmm) - 1, 2, no. Is the crowd chanting boring? Leg hooked again - 1, 2, no. Right by Bagwell - into the opposite corner - boot up by T - big heel kick and Bagwell goes down. So does T, who trips on Bagwell on his way down. Hudson proclaims Linda McMahon "beautiful, talented and intelligent" - does his *wife* know he's saying things like that? Bagwell put into the ropes, back elbow - leg is hooked - 1, 2, Bagwell gets the shoulder up. Bagwell drops T's face on the buckle to come back - swinging neckbreaker. Blatant choke. Bagwell pinwheels - crowd is turning on BOTH of these guys, though. Right by Bagwell. Right. Snap suplex. Cover - 1, 2, no. There's some WCW ring apronage as well. Bagwell to the chinlock. T trying to fight out - crowd is booing - T back up - Bagwell grabs the hair and shoves him back down. Back to a surfboard. T fighting back to his feet. Crowd chanting "This match sucks" - oh my. Hudson refers to Shane's "beautiful mother, Linda" - as opposed to his ugly mother, one presumes - knee by Bagwell just as T breaks the hold - Bagwell with a head to the buckle - T fires back with an elbow in the gut, right, right, right, into the ropes, dropkick! Both men are down - Patrick's count is up to five before Bagwell is up - field goal kick. Choke on the second rope for 4. Into the ropes, reversed, Harlem sidekick! Clothesline by T! Clothesline! Crowd is booing. Crowd doesn't care. Into the ropes, Bagwell ducks - T with a flying jalapeno! 1, 2, no! T tells him to get up...Bagwell up VERY slowly - gutshot, scissors kick, breakdancing up...but here's MY NAME IS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN & KURT ANGLE - crowd FINALLY perks up, almost to the point of CHEERING these two heels - Patrick calls for the bell but doesn't get it - we'll call it (DQ 4:55) and everything old is new again, ain't it? Angle and Austin work a doubleteam on T, pounding down on him...Bagwell is up - and HE joins them! It's now three on one. Austin brings T out of the ring
runs him into the STEEL steps. Three-way stompdown continues. Big right
hand from Austin. Bagwell holds him for Austin. Angle keeps Patrick at
bay while everybody heads up the ramp...and backstage.
Wow, they sure blew THAT, didn't they?
Meanwhile, (the WCW logo disappears), we're back for a Vince/Torrie payoff - hopefully. "Torrie, I have to say you are nothing short of magnificent. And uh, I think one day you're going to be a HUGE WWF superstar. Yeah, really. And - what a nice location, the laundry room? Ah ha ha ha - that's very clever on your part if I just remove (his wedding ring) a little article here..if you don't mind." "This jacket looks pretty hot, too, I don't know, what do you think?" "Oh, it's very warm in here, and uh..." "What about this shirt - a little tight?" "Yeah, Torrie - you're aggressive - I like that, you know? I like aggressive women." "You do?" "Yeah. I like aggressive WWF superstars." "That a good quality?" "Oh, that's a VERY good quality, Torrie. And you know, I have a feeling you're gonna climb that ladder of success right on up until you're right at the top of... Mr. MacDaddy. Heh heh heh." Here goes the belt. "Mr. MacDaddy? From what I hear...BIG Mr. MacDaddy..." "Oh well - oh yeah - oh - oh, Torrie - this is...really..." The shirt is peeled back to reveal Vince's shoulders and manly torso. "This is very nice.... Oh and oh yeah - oh Torrie, you could very well - ahhh!" She rips the pants down to round his ankles - at least the shirt is hanging low enough that we don't have to see - yikes. "Yeah - UHHHH - ahhhh!" Oof, there go the drawers round his ankles too. That's it, I'm outta here. See ya later. "Ah - ah - oh yeah." "Close your eyes." "Close my eyes?" "Close your eyes." "You want me to play games, huh? Oh, I like games, Torrie - I like games with you, Torrie. Yeah! Mmm hmm." "Okay, keep your eyes closed - turn around, keep your eyes closed." "You want me to turn around?" "Big surprise!" "Okay, I'll turn around, Torrie - and I've got a big surprise for you - from Mr. MacDaddy - oh yeah! I gotta BIG surprise for you, Torrie - Torrie?" He opens his eyes - and registers shock. We pan left to see.... Linda. Looks like she's trying not to smile, actually. McMahon wraps up his (implied, alleged) hardon in his shirt (Keep that camera up!!) and keeps his mouth agape for several seconds. "I'm a changed man. This is - this is not what it looks like. No, this is - this is NOT - this is NOT what it looks like." With his pants still around his feet, he duck walks away to find some more coverage. "And I don't think that you should be thinking that this is what this looks like - not at all. I mean....what are you doing here? You don't TRUST me? You think I was gonna like, go through with something that was like - you don't trust me?" He kicks a washer and falls. "Linda! Linda! Dammit - dammit - dammit!"
Meanwhile, Austin, Angle and Bagwell continue to lay down a pummelin' on Booker T - into a desk he goes - into a door - more stomping - and finally, out the door into the parking lot. Anderson: "Makes me wanna puke!" Bagwell slaps Angle and Austin - "We just took the trash out! Do you like that, how we did that? Do you like that?" Angle and Austin simultaneously attack Bagwell - HA!! Crowd digs it. And Bagwell is thrown outside to join Booker T. War Zone credits are up - and we're out.
AFTER THE FACT: Thanks to Jason Amos! My wife and I attended Raw tonight from Tacoma, WA. Here's what wasn't on television.
Buddy Blaumstein (I think that's what his last name was announced as) beat Buddy Wayne. Blaumstein used a hurricanrana from the inside of the ring to the outside which got a good pop and looked good. Raven and Jerry Lynn beat Kaientai. The fans seemed like they wanted to get into the Kaientai promo, but didn't really do it. Raven and Lynn got a fairly good pop at the end when they hit their finishers at the same time for the win.
Taped match for the Jacked/Metal had K-Kwik beat Billy Gunn. Not much response for the match although K-Kwik got a good pop at his entrance. Not a very good match.
Some notes from the Raw show that may not have gotten accross on television. When Paul Heyman was introduced he got booed and when Jim Ross was introduced he got a tremendous face pop. Tajiri got a huge ECW chant when he used the octupuss. Crash got a "you f'd up" chant for a missed move. The Hardy Boyz got the biggest reaction from the fans. It was the only match the crowd was in from begining to end. WCW got a mixed reaction whenever it was mentioned, but the crowd was totally dead and filing out during the WCW match. I could've probably have heard someone well enough to hold a conversation with from two sections away it was so quiet.
Afterwards we happened to pass K-Kwik's car as he was headed out of the Tacoma Dome area and he was being mobbed by fans. Arn Anderson left the arena with, of all people, Brisco and Patterson. Kanyon stayed for a long while to sign autographs and was pretty quiet that whole time. That's pretty much all I have to report.
Is it too early to throw in the towel on WCW? I mean, all tonight did was remind me how much I was dreading watching WCW in its dying days, for crying out loud!
I guess in hindsight we can all say "Gee! Putting on a WCW match in front of a WWF crowd - and we would actually have to WONDER why they would be BORED and BOO?"
MAYBE they can turn it around on SmackDown!, given the benefit of overdubs and post-production.
Hopefully, possibly DEFINITELY, WCW can and will get a better reception in Atlanta - that is, if they haven't thrown in the towel by then. I don't think they're THAT desperate, but you never know...