WWF RAW is WAR
I've still got three master copies of last week's SmackDown! if the report and Excess weren't enough for you. Drop me a line.
TONIGHT: Back to business as usual from the Village of Nash, and a big tag team encounter is the feature bout - it's Angle & Jericho scheduled to take on Austin & van Dam! Also, the Rock takes on.... Test & Stephanie? AGAIN? Oh boy it's gonna be one of THOSE shows...well we'll see ya in ten
QUICK QUOTE: WWF 11.02 (- .35, last year: 22)
TV-14-DLV-CC - the lights go out...and the American flag fills every video screen. While the crowd chants "USA," Jim Ross says "Last Thursday night, it was a special presentation of SmackDown!, but tonight, the president of the United States and our nation's leaders have encouraged ALL Americans to get on with our lives and get back to normal after last week's national tragedy. Folks, that's our goal tonight - to get back to business, LIVE, here tonight on RAW."
PYRO AWAY and off we go - coming to you LIVE from the Gaylord Entertainment Center in Nashville, TN 17.9.1, transmitido en espanol SAP on TNN & TSN and dare we forget also from WWF New York, and two big main events are coming...
TONIGHT: The Rock takes on Test & Stephanie in a return match!
TONIGHT: Kurt Angle & Chris Jericho vs. Stone Cold & Rob van Dam!
The Kane pyro hits...then an awkward silence...then "Rollin'" brings out...
WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: THE FUN BROTHERS (with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) v. THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ - Taker removes his shirt to display an American flag on the chest of his tights. It looks like the American flag will permanently be on the back video wall all night as well. Kane and D-Von start. Lockup - no, it's a kick by Kane, right, right, into the ropes, back elbow, off the ropes with an elbowdrop. Into the ropes, scooped up but D-Von fights his way free - right by Dudley, no effect, right, no effect, right, no effect, off the ropes, Kane tries a clothesline but it's ducked - but D-Von falls into a sidewalk slam. Free shot for Bubba Ray on the apron, then Kane climbs up the opposition's corner - flying clothesline finds the mark! 1, 2, Bubba Ray JUST makes the save. Front face - tag to Taker - open kick, soupbone, soupbone, kick, into the opposite corner, running...into the boot. D-Von fires back - right, right, whip is reversed, D-Von ducks the soupbone and hits a shoulder tackle. Tag out. Bubba Ray runs into the drop toehold, Taker drops the elbow, arm wringer, shoulderdrive, again...another turn on the arm, kick - Bubba Ray is trying to fight off Old Skool but Taker wants to climb that rope...and lands the axehandle. Taker steps over into Code Red (!) Mountain Dew, but D-Von quickly breaks that up - and gets a soupbone for his troubles. Bubba Ray with a surprise clothesline and Taker's off his feet. Right hand...death suplex. Bubba Ray holding his left shoulder (selling Old Skool? Ha ha) ...Taker's head meets the buckle - opposite corner whip and Taker gets the boot up - Taker off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and lands a flying clothesline of his own. Tag to Kane - open shot, into the ropes, Bubba Ray ducks...but gets into the choke. D-Von in - HE'S in the choke, but he attacks the injured elbow to get free - double suplex!! Bubba Ray puts Taker on the floor, then they hit the headbutt to the graun while referee "Blind" Mike Chioda deals with Taker. Bubba Ray outside - he's found some furniture, and sets up the table out on the floor. D-Von still working over Kane on the inside - injured elbow wrapped around the rope. Bubba Ray gets in a few shots as well - into the ropes, reversed, head down and Bubba Ray takes advantage with a kick. Armbar takedown. Climbing the corner - Ten Punch Count Along gets to three but Kane powerbombs him out of the corner before he can get any further. Both men are down...Kane crawling...tag to D-Von, HOT TAG TO TAKER! Soupbone! Soupbone! Soupbone for Bubba Ray, soupbone for D-Von, running clothesline to Bubba Ray, to the opposite corner for the same for D-Von, Bubba Ray clotheslined out - D-Von off the ropes, back body drop, big legdrop off the ropes, Bubba Ray saves at 2. Now Kane's in - Kane and Bubba Ray out. Soupbones by the Taker, much to Chioda's dismay - oh oh, whip is reversed, reversed back and Chioda falls victim to the Law of Unintended Avalanches when D-Von runs smack into him. Whip into the opposite corner, big boot. But now KRONI>| & STEVEN RICHARDS are out to take advantage of Kane's isolation on the outside - and there's High Times through the table! Taker manages to grab Richards by the hair - but before he can pull him in, Adams lands a hot shot on Taker...and then Taker turns back into 3D (Dudley Death Drop!) - D-Von covers and hooks the leg... 1, 2, 3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have new (five time, five time, five time, five time, five time) tag team champions. (6:33) The three men in black look on from the ramp...and seem rather pleased at that.
Star Trek IV is NEXT!
It's the WWF Live! You know you want to go, and tix are on sale Saturday for Columbia, Kansas City for RAW, Omaha for SmackDown! and Uniondale for RAW!
Moments Ago, three paragraphs ago - different angle show Kronik taking over...and putting Kane through the table. They seem to be happy about the belts changing hands.
Outside, the "WCW 1" limousine pulls up and Shane McMahon, late, steps out. He happens upon Richards & Kronik, who are on their way out. Richards makes the introductions, but Shane says they're not needed - "I've had my eye on you for some time." Richards offers the services for Kronik to the Alliance. Shane says again he's had his eyes on them for some time and offers the handshake - they're in, no problem. To thank them for moving the WWF tag titles to the Alliance, Shane offers Kronik a shot at the WCW tag team titles Sunday at Unforgiven. Richards says of Shane: "He's a hell of a guy - he's a lot nicer than his old man."
Meanwhile, Lance Storm reacts to the eXtreme magazine. "This is disgusting...you can see her underwear, for crying out loud. Who do these people think they are? This is terrible." In leaps Hurricane...complete with WHOOSH sound effect. "Good day, Citizen Storm." "Do you believe the way Lita and the Hardys dress? Look at this. It's this kind of immoral dress and behaviour that's contributing to the deterioration of our society's values, and it's to that end that I will take great pleasure in showing Jeff Hardy my DISpleasure with his immoral dress, firsthand...tonight." "I AGREE with you, Citizen Storm. And I applaud your efforts in ridding the world of vile corruption just like this. May the Hurripowers...be with you! Now Citizen Storm, I've come to realise that there's too much evil in the World Wrestling Federation for one (count me) one superhero to conquer alone. What the Hurricane needs is a sidekick. Any suggestions?" "What about Ivory?" "Citizen Ivory is 99 and 44/100% pure, but what the Hurricane needs is a sidekick that's 100% pure. Wait....my Hurrisenses are telling me of the right person for the job. Good day, Citizen Storm!" WHOOSH off he goes
Meanwhile, the Austins enter their dressing room to find Rob van Dam lounging on his sofa snacking on the Champ's vegetable tray. "Stone Cold! What's up there, hey Debra. I was waitin' for ya." "You're waiting for me in my dressing room." "Yeah, I knew you were gonna be here." "Well you coulda knocked after I got here, man. This is my dressing room, RVD!" "I know, I got here before you. I had a question I wanted to ask you." "Well, hell, I'm here, go ahead and ask!" "Okay. You know the other night, during that match you came out and, um, you threw me off the stage? What was up with that?" "I lend a helping hand to you - I threw you off that damn stage so you could pin Kurt Angle, so you could keep your hardcore title! I did it for you!" "Okay, all right--" "What's the big deal, you got a problem with it? I helped you out." "Not a problem, I just wanted to make sure we're cool, that's all, I mean tonight we're tagging - I just wanted to make sure we were cool, you know." "I'm cool, we got a tag match, you follow my example, we'll be fine. I'm cool. We're cool. Right?" "YEAH!" "All right." "I'm very cool. But I just wanted to check and make sure I had that covered, you know - I mean, all the boys are, like, really behind you in the Alliance - as long as I gotcha, I wanted to tell you, 'cause..you know um, I would like you to feel comfortable knowing if anything happened you know, where like, I don't know, say you were on vacation or something, something where you couldn't be there for the Alliance, I just want you to know that, uh, they've all been thanking me, you know, and coming up and congratulating me for stepping up, you know, coming to me for advice and I just - I want you to know that I'd be happy to give my best to help out." "You'd be happy to give your best to help out. I'm sure you'd like to do that, wouldn'tcha." "Absolutely." "Hey, we're cool, you done said what you got to say. You mind giving me some privacy? We got a match, right, I wanna get ready. Are you ready?" "Oh, yeah!" "Leader of the Alliance...asking you for advice, huh?" "All right - well, I mean, you know..." "Which one asked you for advice?" "I don't wanna start stooging off the boys. I mean, you sound like you're a little hostile." "I ain't hot - it's cool." "No?" "Yeah." "All right, man, we'll talk about it later. Cool." "Who asked... you don't wanna tell me? They're asking this guy for advice? They're supposed to ask me for advice. I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin. What? I said I'm Stone Cold!"
And now, the WWF Slam of the Week, brought to you by M&M's! From RAW last week, Austin tosses Rob van Dam off the stage...helping him take back the hardcore championship.
TONIGHT: Angle & Jericho vs. Austin & van Dam! Will Austin and van Dam coexist? And how?
JEFF HARDY (with Lita...and RAW is WAR is brought to you by Boogeymen, Snickers Cruncher, and Burger King) v. LANCE STORM (with Ivory) - Lockup, Storm takes control, pulls the hair, arm wringer - Hardy flips out and reverses - Storm goes to the hairpull takedown to take control back. Hardy nips up - right, stomp, kick, Storm knees back - into the opposite corner, Hardy up and over, and dropkicks the back. Right hand, into the ropes, reversal into a waistlock, Hardy with a standing switch, to the ropes, Storm backs Hardy off by holding the ropes - leapfrog by Hardy, Storm put through the rope to the outside - dropkick through the ropes as Storm tries to come back in. Hardy outside...barricade run clothesline coming up. Hardy rolls back in to break the count (I guess) by referee "Blind" Tim White. Storm back up...hot shotting Hardy, then using the hiptoss over the ropes to the floor. Storm rolls in...and back out. Hardy rolled in - Storm back in, grabbing the hair and then carrying Hardy into a backbreaker. 1, 2, no. Knee to the back, knee, knee. Into the ropes, backdrop. Leg is hooked, 1, 2, nope. Storm grabs the hair again - hard whip into the corner. Leg hooked - 1, 2, Hardy kicks out again. Storm with repeated knees into the ribs. Scoop...and a slam. Knee in the back - and now Storm pulls back on the arms. Hardy fights his way back up - he's trying to turn it...does...but Storm reverses right back. Hardy drops down and flips into a mule kick to the jaw to break it up. Both men down... Hardy manages "Iblockyourpunchyoublockmine," as they get up again, right, right, whip is reversed but Storm's dropkick only finds air. Speaking in tongues double legdrop by Hardy, side Russian legsweep, Hardy folds him up and lands a split-legged double legdrop to the legs, staying there for a cover - 1, 2, Storm unfolds himself. Into the ropes, reversed, Hardy up and over with the corkscrew moonsault. 1, 2, Storm gets the shoulder up. Hardy off the ropes - Ivory tries to ankle him but Hardy steps over...but that's enough of a distraction - Storm connects with a superkick! 1, 2, NO! Ivory pulls Hardy over - big right hand. Here comes Lita, skipping over...but Storm blocks her path. So Lita slaps HIM instead! Hardy running the ropes - lands on Storm with a somersault plancha! Hardy puts Storm back in and climbs to the top...swanton bomb...MEETS THE KNEES!! Storm is up first - whip into the corner is reversed, but Storm puts up the elbow. Storm to the top - Hardy right, right, climbing up after him, wants the Frankensteiner but Storm clasps onto the left leg and brings him down to the mat with the half crab! Hardy has no choice but to tap. Storm wins. (5:56) Replay of the missed swanton bomb...and the finish.
In a dressing room, Shane paces while Stephanie...does whatever she's doing. Shane wants to know what she was thinking competing last week. Stephanie says there was a plan - Booker was a little bit late, but there WAS a plan. Shane asks, so why is she doing it again THIS week? To help prove his point, he plays a tape of last week's match. "This is what could have happened." Stephanie points out that Test kept her from taking Rock Bottom - THAT part of the plan was "in full effect." Stephanie promises that unlike last week, she won't be on commentary - she'll be on the apron, making sure this match is successful. Then she sings the theme from "Malcolm in the Middle" to Shane! Wow! (She doesn't, really.) Shane: "You're a big girl now, fine, big girl consequences." Tazz interrupts at this point, and apologises for interrupting (oops). HE is really frustrated - he's got a problem with the way he's becoming the Rodney Dangerfield of the Alliance, especially the way Austin disrespects him. He needs to let out some of his frustration. Shane says no problem - since Tazz has a match tonight, he can let it all out there. "Cool. Well thank you, Shano. And remember, the mood is definitely gonna change..." "Oh the mood's gonna change all right..."
Tough Enough ad
Trish Stratus shills Stacker 2 - oof - they're almost making me miss Chyna...almost
SHAWN STASIAK (with Stacy Keibler) v. PERRY SATURN (with a Special Video Look at the touching story of a man...and his mop) - Saturn is in full "look at me, I'm an airplane!" mode coming out of the video, swooping around Stacy...and right into a Stasiak clothesline. We're underway. Right hand, right, head to the buckle, shoulder to the gut, kick, right, rake of the face along the rope, into the ropes, gutshot, gut wrench suplex, leg is hooked, 2. From his knees, right by Saturn, left, right, Stasiak with a boot to the head - and choke on the second rope. Right, right, kick - into the opposite corner, running clothesline. Back to the first corner, but this time Saturn gets the elbow up. Modified armdrag takeover. "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine" by Saturn, again, Stasiak ducks the next right, gutshot by Saturn, into the ropes, nice dropkick. Clothesline. Belly-to-belly overhead suplex. Springboard dropkick - very nice - leg is hooked - 2. Into the ropes, reversed, jumping elbow by Stasiak gets HIM 2. Stacy up on the apron to argue with referee "Blind" Teddy Long...and when Saturn hits a northern lights suplex, there's nobody there to follow up with a count. Saturn up and over to get involved in the conversation - here comes Stasiak - Saturn steps aside and Stasiak falls JUST short of clocking her one - then politely adds HIS voice to the requests she get back onto the floor. Stasiak turns back to eat a superkick - Saturn with the inside cradle...for 2. Into the ropes, reversed, Saturn with a springboard but Stasiak ducks the crossbody. Stasiak with a leapfrog, another leapfrog but this time he "slips" and takes a pratfall - yuk, yuk. Saturn takes advantage with the moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza (Ross: "fisherman's suplex") 1, 2, 3. (2:50) Saturn start making airplane again...but Terri appers on the EntertainmentTron. "Hi, Per!" Zoom out and Raven is there as well. "Hey Perry, how ya doin'?" "Perry, guess what? You've been looking for Moppy, and we've found her for you! We know where she is! Guess where she is? Moppy is right between my legs..." We pan down (YES! Well...YES!) to see Moppy tied to a log...ready to be fed into - yes - a wood chipper. "You know what, Perry? You're so stupid. At one time, you could have had Moppy AND me...but you didn't play your cards right, sweetheart, so guess what. You don't get either one of us." "You know, enough with this lover's quarrel - let's just get to business with Moppy here." Raven starts channelling Mr. Bill AND Mr. Hands ("I would NEVER put you in the wood chipper!" "Yes you would, you suck!" "Oh, I suck, do I?") before taping Moppy's mouth shut with duct tape, and... oh, I should also note that Raven fails to actually put his safety goggles around his eyes (they stay around his neck) and...yes....puts Moppy through the wood chipper - which actually takes a bit longer (a LOT longer) than you'd expect. I wonder what Chavo Guerrero thinks of all this.
Kane wastes another four cans of Chef Boyardee Big Beefaroni he should by now KNOW he's not gonna be able to eat
Moments Ago, two paragraphs ago - this time we also get Perry Saturn's reaction shot as well. "MOPPY!"
Backstage, Stephanie paces...and Rob van Dam happens by. "Hey Steph." "Hi Rob!" "What's goin' on?" "I'm a little ANGRY right now." "Yeah, you are - I can feel the heat. What's goin' on?" "It's my brother (Shane)." "Yeah?" "I mean, who the hell does Shane think he is telling me what I can and can't do. I'm GONNA compete tonight in that handicap match against the Rock." "Well, who says you can't?" "Shane." "Pshhh - you don't have to take that from him. Do you?" "That's right, no I don't." "No, of course you don't." "I am the owner of ECW!" "Well there you have it. Is there anything that maybe, uh, RVD can do to make you feel better?" "You wanna make me feel better?" "You got something in mind?" "Matter of fact, I do. How 'bout you...pin Chris Jericho in that tag match tonight?" "That's it? Yeah." "All right, I'll do you one better. How 'bout this Sunday at Unforgiven, you put that hardcore title on the line, and you take out Y2J for good." "Ohoho, I like it. I like it hardcore, good iead." "So do I." "Consider it done. Anything to make you feel better, Steph." "Anything?" OMG SHE WANTS TO *DO* HIM
Meanwhile, we head to a dressing room. "Spike, is that you?" WHOOOOSH "Hey, get outta here!" "Be not afraid, Citizen Molly...this is not about my confrontation with that sinister Spike Dudley tonight, oh no. This is of a much... greater importance. You see, the Hurricane is searching for a new sidekick - someone to help me fight dastardly villians everywhere! YOU are that person, Citizen Molly. You must join me in my crusade to fight evil AND injustice!" In comes Spike: "Whoa - whoa whoa whoa. Molly, what's going on in here? --the hell are you doing with Molly?" "I sense hostility has entered the room - wassupwidat? Think about my proposal, and if you ever need me, use the Hurrisignal." WHOOOOSH There's actually a WIND involved, too. Yikes. "What proposal?"
Meanwhile, Shane and Booker T get pumped. "Five time - 1, 2, 3, 4, five time WCW Champion - that's what I'm talking about. Tonight, you'll get to see the--" Tazz interrupts again: "Shano - what's the deal, what do I got?" "You know, Tazz - you have great timing - I mean, you had great timing earlier with my sister and I...and you have great timing now. Because, my sister's not the only one that can have a handicap match. Next, you have a handicap match too - oh yes, and your opponents happen to be...Shano Mac - and Booker T" "YEAH! SUCKA!" "Yeah, see, this way everyone wins, Tazz...because since you're so *frustrated* with the Alliance and everything, you get to take out your frustrations out on Booker T and Shano Mac. And it's a win/win for us, because Booker T and I get to show our skills, because the Rock is going DOWN this Sunday at Unforgiven. We get to make you an example, so it's a win/win." "Now can U dig that?" "YUP."
Red Cross information - 1-800-HELPNOW - www.redcross.org
Here's a look at the Nashville skyline - such at it is
Back inside - hey look, STEVE "AIR" McNAIR of the Tennessee Titans is in the front row!
NAPPY T and SHANE CAN'T DANCE (with Rock/T & Shane Unforgiven graphic) v. TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - Heyman: "I thought you learned your lesson about talking about football, sucka." Ross: "What do you mean by that?" Heyman: "Exactly, the five time former WCW Champion..." Heyman's a big ol' tease. (I think "big" is an unfortunate choice of words.) Ummm, well. For an encore, Heyman makes a big deal about both McMahons competing tonight...which sends my cynicism filter flag up, but I'm not in the mood to explain it, so I'll let it go instead. Shane's jersey says "THE MONEY." Doubleteam to start - fists aplenty. Tazz fires back on Shane - but T lands a side kick to take control back - Shane from the mount, punches in bunches. TV-14-DLV and CC boxes. Tazz into the ropes, back elbow by Booker T. Mount, right, right, right, right, right, right. Shane gets the tag. T holds Tazz up - Shane with a sitout Hart Attack off the ropes. Shane is a student of the classics! Forearm drop, again, double axehandle, again, RAW credits - knee, into the ropes, leaping back elbow. Cover...Tazz kicks out at 2. Shane back on him with repeated fists. Now attacking the arm - field goal kick - tag to T. Back heel kick. T with the badmouth - kick in the gut, stomping away, another (flourished) tag. T holds Tazz for a kick by Shane - right, left, Tazz back with a right, right, right, right, blind tag, Shane into the ropes, reversed, Tazz up and over, T with a big, big flying jalapeno. T tosses Tazz outside...and follows. Shane ties up referee "Blind" Brian Hebner while T drops Tazz on the barricade. Head to the commentary table. T back in the ring while Shane climbs the barrier - and hits a flying clothesline onto Tazz on the floor. Shane holds his left elbow. Stomp. Tazz rolled back in for T - oh, I've forgotten to mention the two or three Clearasil Replays...but it's not like Shane's deserved any of them, so yeah. T with the snapmare - off the ropes - BIG flourish on the kneedrop, bouncing back to his feet...is he feeling it? Will we see - nope, just a tease. Tag to Shane. T holds Tazz for a right hand from Shane, another right, left right, left, right, left, right, left, left, left, left, "fancy footwork," right. Shane puts the boots to him again - kick, kick, back kick, back kick. Shane looks at his hand - and slaps Tazz one. I think that just woke him up. Another big slap - Tazz is pissed - Tazz ducks the next one and hits a T-bone Tazzplex. Big-time clothesline. Clothesline for T as he comes in. Head-and-arm Tazzplex for Shane. T-bone Tazzplex for T. Shane shoved into the ropes, then catches him on the bounce - TAZZMISSION!! T breaks it up - Tazz ducks the Harlem side kick and puts the Tazzmission on T! Shane with a chop block to break it up. T lands the axe kick - ohh he's feeling it now - and breakdances back to his feet. Off the ropes - running Harlem hangover misses by a mile (and the unfriendly camera angle doesn't help) but Shane's going up top - there's a Savage elbow - Shane hooks the leg - 1, 2, 3. Shane never loses! (6:02) Interestingly, Shane and Booker do the same kinda high five that I do when I'm at the bowling alley. Replay of the elbow...and the Spinarooni.
TONIGHT: Angle & Jericho vs. Austin & van Dam!
Unforgiven spot - Austin vs. Angle is featured, Rock vs. T/McMahon is mentioned as well.
When we come back, JONATHAN COACHMAN stands backstage with Christian. Does he know where Edge is? "Can you feel that excitement? I mean, all of these people coming here and paying their money to see my entrance, live and in person! I rule. As far as Edge goes...who cares? You know, everybody knows that Edge didn't have the brains...or even the looks in the family. I mean, come on, he's not Tennessee ugly..but then again, who is? Where's Edge? He's probably spending every waking moment with his intercontinental title because he knows come Unforgiven this Sunday, it's gonna be mine. But you know what? One title just isn't good enough for me. That's why tonight, I'm challenging Tajiri for the US title - that way at Unforgiven, it's gonna be the US Champ versus the intercontinental champ - title for title! I can just see it now - double singles gold. Proving once again, anything that Edge can do...Christian can do better."
WWF EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP: HURACAN v. SPIKE DAMN DUDLEY (with Molly Holly) - say, is Spike showing just a smidge of jealousy towards the woman on his arm? Hurricane hits the pose. Lockup, side headlock by Hurricane, takeover...Dudley rolls back for 2. To their feet - Dudley powers out, but Hurricane hits the shoulder block...and hits the pose. Off the ropes, up and over, side headlock takeover by Dudley- back to their feet - kidney shots by Hurricane...leveraging out of the hold AND hitting the pos...Spike with another side headlock takeover for 2. Hurricane powers out - Spike takes him over one more time. Really grinding it in now. Back to their feet - to the corner - referee "Blind" Jack Doan forces the break. Hurricane offers the Hand of Friendship - then pops Dudley with the other hand. Into the opposite corner is reversed, but Hurricane lands the super(hero)kick. Hurricane goes for the cape - puts it on...going up top...but Molly grabs the cape before he can fly. Hurricane jumps back to the mat and hits the hands on hips pose. Dudley from behind, gutshot, Dudley 'dog - is fought off...and Hurricane dumps him over the top to the floor. Hurricane outside - got Dudley back in the ring - then turns to Molly and demands Molly put the cape back on. She throws it back in the ring, instead. Hurricane back in to put it on, but Doan tries to take it away from him and out of the ring instead. As they tussle over the fancy dress, Molly is climbing the corner. Doan puts the cape away - Molly with a missile dropkick, but Hurricane ducks - and Spike takes the brunt! Hurricane is quick to take advantage - Eye of the Hurricane (Ross: "with a high impact move") - 1, 2, 3. (3:00) Ohhhh nooooo it's the classic Greek tragedy all over again...
Tough Enough ad #2
Earlier Tonight, Kronik put Kane through a table - and Taker felt 3D - and the WWF tag titles changed hands. DAMN that Undertaker sure has to job a lot...
The graphic has been prepared and it's official - it's a backwards K at the end of Kroni>, and they'll take on Taker & Kane for the WCW tag team titles at Unforgiven!
Your hosts are LARRY KING & PAUL E. HEYMAN.
Here's another new Unforgiven graphic for you - Rob van Dam vs. Chris Jericho for the hardcore championship!
And here's a look at Times Square
Inside are...some fans! "They're the REAL stars of the World Wrestling Federation!" Ahhh, I doubt that. More like they couldn't get a superstar in there tonight.
Torrie Wilson is WALKING! Shane happens to catch up to her. "Hey, Torrie. How ya doin'? Good, I've been meaning to talk to you for a little bit. You know, and, I gotta say you're great at what you do. I mean, you are the master manipulator - you manipulated my father - you manipplated your way all the way into the commissioner's office, I mean you have Tajiri eating out of the palm of your hand, great job. I am a little confused on why you helped Tajiri become the US Champion, but I'm sure we'll address that, because when we're ready to pull the plug on Tajiri, I know for the Alliance, that you're gonna do the right thing. All right? All right. I'm glad we had this talk. Nice to see ya." Awww, she's conflicted. You can tell 'cause she's biting her pointer!
Meanwhile, MICHAEL KING COLE stands with Kurt Angle at the oilcans and cyclone fence set. Let Us Take You Back One Week where Angle won - and lost - the hardcore championship. "How do I feel? I feel the same way about my tag team match tonight against Austin as I will at Unforgiven. I feel...I'm gonna kick Austin's ass! And at Unforgiven, I will become the WWF Champion. Can I help you?" Wow, RVD is everywhere! "Oh, I was just listenin'." "Oh, just listening." "Yeah, I always like to listen. Like last week...hey Kurt, did you notice all the fans in the arena last week were chanting 'RVD! RVD!'" "Yeah, I did, Rob." "That was pretty cool, huh." "And I am surprised how fast...RVD is catching on. But you know what's even catchier? Three initials that the fans will be chanting tonight - and during my match, my championship match against Austin at Unforgiven - (points to self) USA - USA." van Dam nods.
How DOES Kane eat, anyway? (Duh...he takes the mask off.) Or maybe he just uses a STRAW! Yeah! (Hey, you know it's not real, right?) WHAAAT?!?
The WWF Boot of the Week is brought to you by Lugz! Christian turns on Edge...from two weeks ago
WCW U.S. TITLE: CHRISTIAN v. TAJIRI (with Torrie Samuda) - Christian attacks from behind while Tajiri is trying to get some sugar - forearm, right, right, right, kick, kick, into the opposite corner, Tajiri gets the elbow up. Tajiri with a knife-edge chop, slap, to an adjacent corner where Christian reverses positions - Christian with a slap, knife-edge chop...but walks into a superkick. Side headlock - Christian powers out, hiptoss blocked by Tajiri, going for flippy flippy but Christian catches him halfway and powerbombs him down. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, head vice - adding punches as well. Backbreaker. 1, 2, Tajiri kicks out. Tajiri tries a shot to the abdomen - another, right, off the ropes - Christian with a knee...and the Christian backbreaker. Kick between the shoulderblades. Off the ropes with a clothesline to the seated Tajiri - cover...2. Looks like Christian's mouth is bleeding. Choke on the second rope (in full view of Torrie). Christian has the heair - Tajiri with a few punches - but no effect. Elbow by Christian, into the corner - Tajiri gets the boot up. Christian ducks the clothesline, but not the BIG back kick - off the ropes and Tajiri snaps off a 'rana. Christian into the ropes, head down, Christian kicks. Sent into the ropes, Tajiri hits the handspring elbow for 2. Into the corner by Tajiri, reversal, Christian comes in, Tajiri up and over...and into the Tarantula. Christian ducks a kick, going for a Slop Drop but Tajiri slides out, drops to his butt, and whips back with another big kick to the face. Tajiri winds up another kick - wants the big one but Christian slides outside. Tajiri out after him, but Christian pops him as he hits the floor. Christian goes for the chair...Torrie tries to shield Tajiri from a shot - Christian rares back, Torrie out of the way, Tajiri with the GREEN MIST but Christian sidestepped *that* - and referee "Blind" Charles Robinson took it instead! Christian with a chairshot in the back as soon as he goes down. Robinson calls for the bell - but who's been disqualified? (DQ 4:03) No announcement - I'd guess Christian wins by DQ here. Heyman thinks Tajiri DQ'd himself to save his title. Christian with *another* chairshot in the ring. Christian setting up the One-Man Conchairto...but EDGE is back and taking him down - repeated piston rights before the other two WCW REFS can pull him off of him. Christian - you don't know how many times I type "Christina" by mistake - makes his getaway while Edge's music plays...and Edge shows us his teeth. Replay shows Edge come through the crowd to surprise his brother.
HEY HEY! It's the Rock! And.... he's WALKING!
UP NEXT: Test & Stephanie take on the Rock!
Unforgiven spot #2
Catch the WWF live! Tomorrow, Memphis - Saturday, Reading, Sunday is Unforgiven in Pittsburgh, Monday is RAW in Columbus and Tuesday is Scaialand - I mean, Dayton!
Moments Ago, five paragraphs ago
During the Break, as Torrie Wilson helped Tajiri up the ramp...Rhyno came out and gored him! Two angles of Tajiri's head "bouncing" off the steel.
Shane is suitably impressed - as a reward, he gives Rhyno a US title shot on Sunday. Rhyno...grins.
STEPHANIE CAN'T ACT (with Clearasil presents Unforgiven!) and TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST v. THE ROCK (with Unforgiven graphic: Rock/T & McMahon) in a handicap match - Once again, Stephanie comes out to "My Time" and I would bet that "Bodies," if not PERMANENTLY shelved, is at least gone for quite awhile. Test tries to draw first blood...and fails. Right by Rock, right, right, right, right, into the ropes, criss cross (OLD SKOOL!), criss cross, Rock slides out and pulls Stephanie off the apron. Test outside - he gets another right, right, head to the commentary table, right. Test rolled back in - Rock back in - forearm by Test, stomp, stomp. "Rock E!" Into the ropes is reversed, belly to belly throw, leg is hooked, Test out after 2. Rock with the head to the buckle - into the opposite corner is reversed, but Rock gets the elbow up as Test charges in. But Rock runs into a full rotation sidewalk slam. Mount, right, right, right, right, right. Choke on the second rope. As Test gets a stern talking-to from referee "Blind" Nick Patrick, Stephanie takes HER turn with the choke. Head to the buckle by Test, again, elbow, right, elbow, right, right. Measuring a right...but Rock blocks it and goes back on O - right, right, right, into the corner, but Test slips under and reverses, side Russian legsweep! Test mounts - right, right, right, right. Test tags out - just kidding. Test with a vertical suplex. 1, 2, Rock kicks out. Test brings Rock back up - into the ropes, Rock ducks - right, right, right, into the ropes, head down - Test manages a gutwrench into a powerbomb - 1, 2, no!! Test brings Rock over to Stephanie for a little trash talk - and two slaps. Everybody's happy. Stephanie wants a high five, most likely forgetting that would count as a tag. Test wisely ignores her and walks back to Rock - but Rock comes back - right, right, right, knee by Test. Into the ropes, but Rock flies out with a clothesline! Ross proclaims Rock "hurtin' for certain." Both men slow to get up...Rock with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," again, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, said something to Stephanie (back turned to the camera - DARN!), NOW KISS THAT RIGHT! And yet...Test comes right back, reversing the whip attempt - Rock ducks the clothesline, hits the gutshot, DDT, 1, 2, no!! Right by the Rock, whip is reversed...short clothesline by Test puts him down. NOW Stephanie wants the tag...and gets it! Stephanie does her Shane impersonation, jogging a circle round the Rock...who nips up, causing her to fall backwards on her keister. Test from behind with a blind clothesline. Stephanie quickly tags out. Test stands ready, waiting for Rock to get up so he can deliver that big, big boot - but Rock ducks - and hits ROCK BOTTOM when Test turns back! The leg is hooked! But Patrick has his back to the action, no doubt discussing the merits of self-booking with Stephanie. Rock back up, turning Patrick around - Patrick takes umbrage and shoves back, vigorously pointing to the WCW patch on his shirt. Rock responds with ROCK BOTTOM on Patrick! Test looks to Stephanie...and gives her the international "Just Bring It" sign. Stephanie slowly turns away and tries to walk down the steps...Rock grabs her by the ponytail and insists. Stephanie brought in the hard way. SHANE O. MAC is out - HE goes down with one right hand. Now NAPPY T is in the ring...HE takes a right, right, right, right, right, right, NOW KISS THAT NOOOOOOO Test takes him down from behind with a forearm. T picks him up - Test with the Wotsitolla Boot! Test and Shane pick up Rock...AXE KICK!! They position Rock again - Shane tries to vault to the top rope...and fails. Shane outside, climbs up - almost slips (eep), but steadies himself...and delivers another Savage elbow! Oh oh, Shane is feeling it - it's - it's - it's the Macaroonie! Test and Shane lift up Rock one more time - T grabs Rock and unleashes a whole mess o' trash talk - OHH IT'S THE BOOK END! T calls over Stephanie...who makes the cover. Patrick is back in the ring. 1, 2, 3. Wow, Shane AND Stephanie get the falls in their respective matches tonight. I mean, who'da *thunk* it? (8:41) Shane, Stephanie, Test and T each take a corner and pose. High-impact replays...and Stephanie's pin as well. Stephanie and Test walk off arm in arm. Don't forget...one more big main event to come!
Star Trek IV is NEXT!
Trish Stratus shills Stacker 2...again
Moments Ago, three paragraphs ago - hey, take a close look at the hands there...is Rock grabbing him some stuff?
Backstage, van Dam finds Austin's door locked...so he knocks. "WHAT?" "Hey, Steve...you in there?" "Yes I'm in here, it's my dressing room!" "Hey, the door's locked!" "I KNOW, RVD, I locked it! Now leave me alone!" "We gotta get to the ring, come on, our match is up, let's go!" "Go without me, I'll see ya out there." "....okay." van Dam goes back to the door - and taps out "shave and a haircut" - and does it again. Austin opens the door and looks out. van Dam grins - "I'll see ya out there." Austin scowls and slams the door...
CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO and KURT ANGLE (with Unforgiven graphic: Austin/Angle) v. ROB VAN DAM and STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN - Austin pulls Angle outside - Jericho with a pescado onto van Dam - Pier Four brawl on the outside and it's on. Crowd chants "USA" Jericho chops Austin, chop, chop...into the STEEL steps, rolled into the ring - Austin gets a boot up to turn it around - Jericho's head into the buckle, again, and suddenly the opening bell rings for a *second* time, which is sure to mess up my concept of an "official" match time. Head to the buckle a third time. Austin winds up for a chop - Jericho ducks and they switch places again - Jericho with a chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, into the ropes, reversed, Jericho ducks, ducks again, flying jalapeno! Right, chop, into the ropes, head down and Austin kicks. Austin puts Jericho on the top buckle, chop, chop, right, going for Angle but Angle jumps off the apron - Jericho with a missile dropkick as Austin turns back - leg is hooked - 1, 2, Austin kicks out. Arm wringer, but Austin punches out. Head to the buckle, tag to van Dam - kick, kick, elbow, elbow, kick, into the ropes, Jericho ducks, hangs onto the ropes to evade the spin kick, van Dam ducks Jericho's clothesline, Jericho catches the kick, ducks the enzuigiri and lands one of his own. Tag to Angle - open kick, right, right, into the ropes, van Dam ducks but Angle hits a big crossbody. Angle walks toward Austin...who takes a few steps down the stairs. Back on van Dam - right, right, right, kick, into the opposite corner is reversed, forward roll...Angle catches him and hits a double leg slam for 2. Tag to Jericho, open kick. Chop, chop, into the ropes is reversed, van Dam dumps Jericho - or tries to, for Jericho lands on the apron - shoulder through the ropes by Jericho, Austin tries an apron run but Jericho gives HIM a forearm - and van Dam dropkicks Jericho off the apron. Austin takes advantage, grabbing Jericho and tossing him across the top of the commentators' desk. Knee, Austin going for a piledriver (!) but Angle runs in with a clothesline to cut that attempt short. Right hand, stomp, stomp, referee "Blind" Earl Hebner finally inserts himself between the non-legal men - and while he does, van Dam is working over Jericho on the outside. Jericho hang up on the barricade - uppercut - on the apron, Points to Self, and hits the spinning guillotine to Jericho's neck. Jericho rolled back in - he wants the tag but he's too far away. Spinning leg drop - 2 count for van Dam. Knee, tag, Jericho put in the corner - Austin stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp fuck you stomp. Hebner pulls Austin off - so van Dam gets in a few boots to the head as well. Into the ropes - Austin with the sleeper! Jericho slowly takes a nap. "Y2J" chant isn't helping yet. Arm falls once....arm falls twice...arm doesn't fall thrice - Jericho counters with a jawbreaker (or was it a Stone Cold Stunner?) - tag to van Dam...who catches Jericho before he can tag out. Kick, right, right, shoulderdriver, shoulder, shoulder, backflip, runs in but Jericho leaps over him and rolls him up for 2! Jericho catches the clothesline attempt and hits the Stroke. Both men are down. Angle is chomping at the bit. Tag to Angle, tag to Austin. Clothesline by Angle! Clothesline! Austin ducks the next one, tries for Jericho but HE ducks, then grabs Austin and holds him for Angle - ooh DOUBLE BIRD by Angle! Right, right, kick, kick, kick, kick, sixth sense duck as van Dam comes in - van Dam clocks *Austin* with his spin kick! Angle on van Dam - right, right, into the ropes, belly-to-belly overhead suplex! Clotheslined out...Jericho running to the adjacent cover for a springboard...clothesline? His legs were really flailing there, weird. Anyway, Jericho and van Dam are out - Angle and Austin are in - Olympic Slam attempt is countered as Austin lands on his feet and shoves Angle RIGHT into Hebner, taking him out. Angle into the ropes, going for the Austin press but Angle stands firm, grabs the leg, turns him over and applies the anklelock! van Dam back in - seated dropkick to break it up. Hebner is STILL out. Jericho back in - bulldog for van Dam! Double leg takedown...Walls of Jericho! van Dam is ready to tap...but Austin has the bell - I think he DID tap but we didn't get a good look - anyway, Jericho takes the bell right between the shoulderblades and falls out of the ring. Austin ready to swing at Angle...Hebner is back up, though, and wrests control of the hardward away. Angle with a schoolboy (and a handful of tights) - 1, 2, NO!!!!! Angle with a German suplex - 1, 2, NO!! Right hand, right, into the ropes, reversed, head down but Austin still manages a spinebuster. Both men are down - now Austin is up. "USA!" Austin *dares* Angle to get up so he can give him the Stone Cold Stunner...KICK is CAUGHT, Angle spins him around and gets under him - OLYMPIC SLAM!!! 1, 2, 3!!! Get the bell back to the timekeeper so he can ring it! (8:32 - or 9:07 - or some number in between - tell you what, you use what works best for you) Kurt Angle just pinned Stone Cold Steve Austin - is this an omen for Sunday? But tonight, Austin still has his title...and shows it to Angle as the War Zone credits take us out...