I GET LETTERS:
Adam goes behind the numbers: Believe it or not the
issue of how many wrestlers had held titles in WCW, ECW and WWF was
keeping me awake so I did a little research and came up with the following
in order of when they achieved the third leg. Of course Storm, Tajiri and
the Dudleys are frauds on this list because they're beneficiaries of the
collapse of WCW and ECW. The big surprise to me was Chris Candido, would
never have picked him as one of them.
By the way, the period I used was 1991-2001, hence Terry Funk not opening his account in WCW until rather late.
Thought you might find this interesting :)
Keep up the good work!
The Dudley Boys
QUICK QUOTE: WWF 10.94 (- .65, last year: 14, two years ago: 23 1/16)
TONIGHT: Is it the last "WWF" RAW ever? (Hmm, probably not.) "The Fleet Center is on fire" - well THAT'S an unfortunate choice of words. Tazz FINALLY takes his shot at Stone Cold Steve Austin! Also, the WCW Championship is on the line as the Rock takes on William Regal! Come back in fifteen for all the fun!
THIS WEEK'S TNG CAPSULE REVIEW: Oh MAN, "Conspiracy" is the GREATEST EPISODE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER and I can't *believe* they never really followed up on it because it was SO SO *GREAT*. Really one of the few reasons to put up with Season 1. Wow.
TV-14-DLV - CC - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Let Us Take You Back to Thursday
No pyro (PYRO costs MONEY) - instead we kick right off with KURT ANGLE - and the transmitido en espanol SAP box. Well, we get *Angle's* pyro, anyway. We're LIVE at the Fleet Center in Boston, MA 12.11.1 on THE NEW TNN & the CRAPPY OLD TSN - if it's the WWF, it's RAW! And here now is the US Champeen: "I have a little story I'd like to tell. And Stone Cold Steve Austin, I hope you're listening. There was once a group of extraordinarily talented guys who had a chance to make history, had a chance to win it all. But it all got put in jeopardy due to infighting, backstabbing, and lack of leadership. What was once a group that had EVERYTHING...became now a buncha losers with nothing. Of course, I'm talking about the 2001 Boston Red Sox. Oh, it's true! And Austin, when you Stunned me last week on SmackDown!, it was the same as Pedro Martinez and Nomar refusing to play with their so-called 'injuries.' And this Sunday, the Alliance has the chance to win it all at Survivor Series...and Austin, we better. Because, when the Boston Red Sox loses each year like they do, big deal - because they always have next year to screw it up again. Well Austin, there is no next year for us. There is no tomorrow. If we don't win this Sunday, it's OVER! And I'm not ready for my Hall of Fame career to end. So Austin, I want you to come out here right now - SHUT UP - I want you to come out here right now, and I want you to apologise for Stunning me last week, and I'm not going anywhere until you do." Austin comes out to Rob Zombie's...no, wait, that's KING EDGE. How could I get *them* confused? Give that man a mic! "I'm not Austin, and I'm definitely not here to apologise - Kurt, I'm here to tell you one thing: you're a selfish (beep). You had it all! You had the respect and support of all of these people, your peers, and this entire country. And you threw that all away because deep down inside, you're a red, white and blue, but most importantly yellow coward." "What the hell are you talking about?" "No, you KNOW what I'm talking about, and on behalf of the entire WWF locker room which you abandoned, I wanna challenge you for that US title. Not tomorrow, not later on tonight, but right now." Referee "Blind" Brian Hebner enters the ring. "Hold on a second! You want a title shot from me right now? I taught you everything you KNOW, you ungrateful, snot-nosed (beep). If you want this title...you come get it."
KURT ANGLE v. KING EDGE for the WCW United States championship - Edge ducks the swing, elbow, elbow, into the ropes, dropkick. Angle manages to grab a facelock, then shoots the half for 1. Single leg, leg trip, 1. Angle rides Edge around and slaps the back of his head. Mat wrestling = HEEL! Angle takes some time to mug for the crowd - big mistake, Edge is up and ready to throw the elbow again - or is it a punch? Right, right, right, into the ropes, hiptoss, armdrag, Angle-esque "Wooow!" from Edge. Angle, pissed, runs into a drop toehold. *Edge* with the front chancery. Wow, what's all this mat stuff? Angle tries to grab the legs - makes it too his feet - double leg slam, but Edge hangs on and Angle ends up in a monkey flip. Angle runs into ANOTHER armdrag, and Edge applies the armbar. "Angle sux!" chant. Back to the vertical base - Angle improvises a backdrop...Edge bridges out - going for a backslide - nope - Angle unlocks an arm - Edge wants the Edge-ecution but Angle barrels him back to the corner. Back to the middle of the ring...Angle lifts Edge again but Edge won't let go...slides down the back - Angle runs into a half nelson, into a bulldog-esque half nelson faceplant - 1, 2, Angle kicks out. Man, where are all these MOVES coming from? Angle put into the ropes, head down, Angle kicks. Edge ducks the clothesline...but runs into a belly-to-belly that takes him over the ropes and out to the floor! Angle outside as the crowd gets bleeped - Edge rolled back in - cover - 1, 2, Edge grabs the bottom rope. Angle rams Edge's head into the buckle - right, right, right, kick, stomp, stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp - Hebner pulls him off. Right, right, right, right, again he's put out of the corner. Heyman has designs on putting Mike Tenay in Ross' chair after the Alliance wins - well WHY NOT. Edge comes back - right, right, right, into the ropes is reversed but Edge connects with a clothesline off the ropes. Whip is reversed by Angle into a fireman's carry - and right into the headlock. Edge fights it off with a LITTLE help from the crowd - right, right, Angle rakes the face. Edge put in the corner, but he gets the boot up - second rope...no, Angle blocks - there's ANOTHER belly-to-belly. Wooow! Angle should go for the anklelock right now, but instead he climbs to the top - guess what, the moonsault MISSES! Give it an Xbox replay! Angle up at 6 - Edge up right after - Angle ducks the first swing, but not the next one - another clothesline by the challenger - Viscera kick. Right, right, right, right, gutshot, pulls him to the centre - Angle reverses and attempts the Olympic Slam, but Edge lands on his feet - then manages the Edge-omatic...but only gets 2. Angle grabs the legs but Edge rolls him up - and gets another 2! Angle puts his head in Edge's gut - THERE'S the OLYMPIC SLAM! Angle takes a lot of time to celebrate - DOWN COME THE STRAPS! ANGLELOCK!! But before Edge taps, the music and flames of Kane hit....and even though we DON'T see Kane, Angle is spooked enough to release the hold and stare at the entryway. By the time he turns around, Edge is back up - spear - 1, 2, 3. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new United States champion. (6:33) KANE finally *does* appear, out through the crowd - Angle backs up into Kane...makes a GREAT face - then turns around to take his right, right, right, into the ropes, big boot, if Kane drops the leg I'm gonna shoot somebody...no, it's Kane with an anklelock! Angle is good enough to tap - like THAT'LL help - here comes STEVEN RICHARDS...Kane dumps him over the top. TOMMY DREAMER is in - clothesline for him. Chokeslam! Thanks for coming out tonight, Tommy! Richards attempts a Stevenkick but Kane catches it - HE gets a chokeslam! Play his music and set the corners on fire!
Experience the WWF LIVE this week! Tomorrow, Albany! Saturday, Bristol, TN! Sunday is Survivor Series in Greensboro! RAW is Charlotte and Tuesday is Fayetteville!
Moments Ago, Two Paragraphs Ago
MICHAEL KING COLE stands with his best friend, Tazz. "Cole - you see to me, it's not about the WWF title. As prestigious as it is, it's not about that. It's about Tazz, for four months, bein' a ball of rage - takin' abuse from a man named Stone Cold that I never take abuse from ANYBODY, but for four months I took his abuse. Why? For the good of the Alliance. So see now, at Survivor Series, if Austin is jumping ship to the WWF, I could be out of a job, so you know what? Before I'm out of a job, I'm gonna make sure I get a little piece of Austin. I have a question for you. When is a man most dangerous? ...when he's got absolutely nothin' to lose."
WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: T & T (with RAW is brought to you by Xbox, Starburst, and truth) v. HARDY BOYZ (with Cheata) - the flame guy misses T's cue, and for a moment I thought Clarence Mason was back to try to exercise the Harlem Heat copyright, but no luck. Hardys get punked before the bell and Matt is tossed. Jeff into the ropes, double back elbow. T with a nice suplex - 1, 2, no. Ross makes the DirecTV announcement. Arm wringer/back kick - tag to Test. Open shot. Got him in the corner - Test right, back elbow, right, back elbow, right, kick, kick. Into the ropes - Hardy ducks, right, right, right, into the ropes is reversed into a knee in the gut - gutwrench into powerbomb gets Test 2. Hardy ducks the boot and hits a sitout jawbreaker. Will he get to Matt and make the tag? Test tries to grab the ankle, but Hardy hits his enzuimule and DOES tag out. Here comes Matt - T gets the tag as well - Matt ducks, right, off the ropes with a clothesline - ducks a clotehsline by Test - tornado DDT off the ropes - T puts Matt in the corner, but he gets the elbow up - T runs into the boot - ahhhhhhdrop gets 2 and Test breaks it up. Matt sent into the ropes - duck - Jeff trips up Test and pulls him outside as Matt ducks a clothesline from T - ducks a heel kick - Jeff puts Test into the STEEL steps, Matt with the Twist of Fate, tag to Jeff - swantonbomb - but Test is in with the Wotsitolla Boot to Jeff while referee "Blind" Mike Chioda has his back to the action attempting to put Matt back in his corner. Matt dumps Test to the outside - but he pulls Matt out - while THEY trade punches, T covers Jeff...now *Lita* is on the top rope - scaryrana to Booker - Jeff grabs a leg and rolls him up - 1, 2, 3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have new WWF tag team champions...man, it's gonna be another one of THOSE nights, isn't it. (3:15) Jeff gives Lita a hug - and Matt...gets jealous. I guess. There isn't a lot of acting talent here, folks. Anyway, it quickly passes and the celebration is on.
UP NEXT: Stone Cold vs. Tazz!
Moments Ago, Two Paragraphs Ago - we focus on the hug - and Matt's reaction (though the commentators don't say anything - again)
Vince likes looking at the monitor (I'll bet it isn't even SHOWING anything!) - there's a knock at the door - it's Chavo Guerrero and Hugh Morrus. They're wondering if, just in case the WWF wins Sunday, if they could have a job. "So, what you're saying is kinda like - you're talking - surviving, right? I can relate to that. What you're saying is kinda like rats deserting a sinking ship...you want to survive, right? Let me put it another way. Maybe you two are, kinda like wanta be on the same side as Stone Cold Steve Austin is once he jumps to the WWF." "Yes, yes...I mean NO! I mean - I mean, yes, but...is he coming over here? Is he jumping to the WWF? I mean, since you brought it up, we were just wondering, is he.." "Let's just say at Survivor Series, we'll all find out. As far as you guys, you know, coming to the World Wrestling Federation, looking for a job....no. Now get the hell outta my office." Guerrero and Morrus slink off, sniping at each other all the way. "You're stupid." "YOU'RE stupid!"
TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (with Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown!) v. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN in a nontitle match - wow, this is a strange place to find Austin during the show - in fact, Austin doesn't even look ready, coming out still in his street clothes (he DOES untuck his shirt, at least). Tazz with repeated forearms in the back (8) to start - kick, kick, kick, kick, right, right, right, right, Austin reverses, right, right, right, right, kick, right, Tazz reverses back, kick, kick, right, right, right, into the opposite corner, clothesline. Tazz waits for Austin to get up - TAZZMISSION! Referee "Blind" Chad Patton checks on Austin - and misses Austin's trick knee acting up in the process. KICK WHAM STUNNER - 1, 2, 3. Whoa, that was quick - Tazz sure sucks. (0:42) Austin isn't done - he mounts Tazz and wails away until SHANO comes out - two Up Yours elbows before he stops to listen. "Hey, Stone Cold! Austin! Austin! Hey! Stone Cold! Austin! Austin! I said that's enough! Enough. Steve, in case you have forgotten, Tazz is part of the Alliance. Have you forgotten that? Matter of fact, the entire Alliance is gathered in the back, waiting for your presence. You are the so-called leader of the Alliance? Then Steve, once again, the Alliance is awaiting your presence...RIGHT NOW." Shane turns his back and leaves. Austin stands up and makes a face. WE take an ad break.
Here's a Special Video Look at Undertaker's WWF Desire. "The desire that, that I carry, I mean it almost overrides everything. If you lay everything that you have - you lay it out on the line for, for this. You know, you lay your health...your family. To be here for ten years, the Decade of Destruction...um, that says a lot. People have heard me say, hey, it's my yard. Well I'm gonna hang onto that yard 'til that dog comes in there, bites me on the ass and kicks me out of it. That's what fuels me, and that's what keeps me goin'." Clips going all the way back to the very beginning - hey, Kamala! "For the fans that, that have watched me over all these years, I just hope they realise that I give everything that I have in mind, body and spirit." Thanks, Creed, for performing "My Sacrifice!"
Here's a look at the exterior of the FleetCenter
The NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS are in the front row! Heyman asks if Ross used to announce for them - oh...that was in the *N*FL.
The Alliance has gathered...Stephanie says tonight hasn't been a very good night for them, but before Shane and Austin arrives, she has some business to take care of - and calls on Morrus and Guerrero for some words from Regal. "You two worthless cretins are FIRED, now get out of the door, out of the bloody door!" They get the bum rush. If anybody else wants to leave the Alliance for the WWF, they can do so now. Anybody? Nope. Booker T can't stop looking at Rob van Dam - maybe he's in love! Austin and Shane arrive. Angle is right on him, drowning out whatever Shane was going to say: "What the hell did you Stun me for last week, Austin, huh? You're supposed to be a leader, right? What about tonight, I lost my title match against Edge - Kane came down, where the hell were you?" "I can Stun you any time I want to! As far as Edge goes, I thought you could handle it! My watch says--" "Excuse me!" "Well, Stun me now, go ahead, Stun me now!" "EXCUSE ME!" "You can't take care of Edge?" "Go ahead, Stun me now!" "What?" "Hey, hey, hey! Back it up! Back off! Kurt! Hey, we have lost two championships tonight - let me remind you, one of those was yours! Do you understand me?" "Yeah, you LOST!" "Hey hey, hold on one second, Steve - Stone Cold - you're in Kurt Angle's face? Is that the man you should be facing? No. You should be face to face with the Rock." "The Rock? Heh heh heh." "The Rock, you should be face to face with the Rock." "Yeah, I can whip the Rock's ass any day of the week." "Well you know what, you're gonna have to this Sunday - quiet, please. Booker T - chill out. This Sunday at Survivor Series, it's all on the line." "You're damn right." "It is ALL on the line - you NEED to 'whip the Rock's ass' - BOOKER - you need to take that out, because....the question is: Who's defecting from the Alliance? Who is it? I'm sorry, who is it?" "Kurt!" "Whoa whoa, HOLD ON one second..." "Now hold on one second, who is it? Huh? You know what, it's NOBODY. You understand me? It's not Stone Cold Steve Austin, it's NOBODY. My father has done a masterful job of planting a seed so that the Alliance breaks down from within. So that we crumble from within, and that's not gonna happen, (Austin pokes Angle) knock it off, (Booker pokes van Dam) knock it off, all of you. We cannot crumble from within, we need to come together. Steve, let me ask you a question. Do you want to beg Vince McMahon for a job?" "I ain't beggin' nobody for nothin'!" "Because if that happens , if the World Wrestling Federation wins this Sunday, you're gonna be beggin' (Austin shoves Angle again) knock it off - you're gonna be beggin' Vince for a job on your knees, something I am not gonna do." "I ain't gonna get on my knees for nobody!" "I am not gonna do it. Are any of you gonna do that? Are you gonna beg for your jobs because that's exactly what's gonna happen." "Kurt will!" "I'm not begging!" "You understand?" "Booker will!" "You understand?" "Quit PUSHIN' everybody!" "Booker T - back it up - Booker T - excuse me for a second - RVD--" "He will!" "Do you think you guys can get along, maybe, just for once, 'cause we need to come together, or we are gonna, or we're gonna fall - do you understand it?" "I'm cool, man, I'm cool!" "Are you cool, RVD?" "Yeah, man - can you do that?" Can you dig that, Booker T?" "I can dig that." "Can you dig it?" "Yeah, I can dig it...sucka." "Where's your shovel?" "Steph and I have put every single thing that we have on the line. It's everyone is on the line for this Sunday. (Austin gets another poke on Angle) Back it up! You hear me? Hey, this is what I'm talking about--" "Don't tough me." "...come together - Steve, this is where we have to come together (Angle shoves back) back it up!" Stephanie sneaks a "God dammit" by the censor. "Keep that little bastard back!" "If we don't pull it together for this Sunday, I will see all of you - ALL of you - in Hell. You got me? What?" Shane walks off - and Austin shoves Booker.
WCW TAG TEAM TITLE: DUDLEY BOYZ (with Stacy Dudley) v. SCOTTY 2 HOTTY & YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALBERT - Listening to Ross talk about "the WWF's newest tag team" makes me wonder if they've already given up on the Palumbo/Gunn thing. Pier Four Brawl to start - Bubba Ray puts Albert out - doubleteam on Scotty - into the ropes, double flapjack. Albert back in with a double clothesline. D-Von into the corner, ducks a swing from Bubba Ray, whipped into D-Von - Hotty with a do si do whip of Albert into the pile - Bubba Ray sent into a Hotty superkick as Albert puts D-Von outside. Stacy starts hitting on Hotty (well, why NOT) - so Albert sneaks up from behind and pants her. With her skirt around her ankles, Stacy soon finds herself tripping - and if I ain't trippin', it's a double W O R M hoo hoo hoo oops the Dudleyz pulled her out. And with Stacy over their shoulders, they walk off. Play the II Cool music again! (No contest)
Chris Jericho paces for Vince McMahon! "All right, you've had time to think. Give me one reasonable explanation as to why, last week, you beat the living hell out of the Rock with a folding metal chair. Why?" "Why. You wanna know why. You know what I'm sick of, Vince? You know what I've had enough of? The People's Eyebrow. The People's Elbow. And to be quite honest with you, if they don't understand where I'm coming from, well, I'm sick of the People as well." "Let me tell you what I'm sick of. I'm sick of petulant, selfish individuals who look at things only through their own eyes. Look, get this straight. I don't care if you beat the hell out of the Rock, as long as it's sometime after Survivor Series, because you and Rock need to be on the same team. You need to function along with your other teammates in a way that brings success, and that means survival, to the World Wrestling Federation. Get this through your thick skull: if you and Rock don't get along, in all likelihood that means the World Wrestling Federation doesn't survive. You're out of a job, pal. Day after Survivor Series, unemployed; there is no Rock in your future. So I don't give a damn if you do this for yourself or if you do it for the WWF, but you will, along with the Rock and everybody else, function as a team, as a unit, as teammates....or else." "Or else, huh? I wonder what 'or else' would feel like." And he walks away...
UP NEXT: Undertaker v. Rob van Dam for the hardcore championship!
Survivor Series ad
No way! UNCUT Godfather on TNN? Wait - over two nights? Geez, how many ads you want to put IN there?
Puddle of Mudd perform "Control" - which happens to be the Survivor Series theme - here's a look at the cover to their CD, "Come Clean"
Regal limbers up in his office - and gets a visit from Christian. "What's up, Commissioner. I almost forgot, it's tea time! Do you mind?" "No, help yourself." "Thanks. Look, I know you wanted to see me, and uh...I just wanted to say, first of all...good luck in your match against the Rock tonight." "Thank you very much indeed. You know, my phone hasn't stopped ringing with all my friends and family in Europe calling me, telling me what a smashing job you're doing of being the European champion, and I gave you that charge last week to take care of that horrid, wretched little toerag Tajiri, and you did just that, so, someone like you deserves a reward - a reward fitting of a European championship - so, tonight...you're going to get a nontitle match...against the Big Show!" Christian does a (rather weak) spit take. "What kind of reward is THAT?" "Christian....Christian, Christian, Christian, calm down..." He whispers in his ear. "You know something? I like the way you think, and...it makes me wish that the fans here in America were as sophisticated as us Europeans." "Oh I know, I know...tell me about it."
WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: AWESOME UNDERTAKER WHO IS AWESOME (on his Beautiful Titan Bike, with RAW Credits & Transmitido en espanol SAP - AND Xbox presents Survivor Series in six days!) v. POINTS TO SELF (with Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown!) - Wow, no matter WHO wins, you have something to bitch about! Lockup - ha ha, just kidding - kick by Taker - soupbone - into the corner, van Dam sneaks out - kick, kick, right, right, kick, shoulder to the gut, shoulder, superfluous backflip, head to the gut, point to self - Taker reverses. Soupbone left soupbone left, soupbone, soupbone, into the opposite corner - van Dam gets the boot up on the charge. van Dam manages Snake Eyes on the next charge. Running clothesline puts Taker outside. Baseball slide dropkick by van Dam. Apron splash - is caught - and Taker runs van Dam's back into the post. van Dam up the ramp - Taker stalking after him. Stomp. Soupbone. Soupbone in the gut. Soupbone to the face. Running boot - but van Dam steps aside and Taker ends up straddling the scaffolding. van Dam kicks the exposed leg, kick, right, right, head to the STEEL frame, spin kick puts him down. van Dam decides to start climbing the support structure...points to himself - and STILL manages to land the plancha! Both men down on the stage. Give it an Xbox replay! van Dam manages a cover - 1, 2, no! Right, right, right, right, right, kick - Taker teetering on the edge of the stage...van Dam running at Taker to finish him, but Taker puts up a back elbow to turn it around. Soupbone! Headbutt! Soupbone to the body - van Dam catches the next one and fires back - right, right, right, right, Taker with an uppercut. Taker runs van Dam into the scaffold again. Choke...will he chokeslam him off the stage? No - van Dam kick, kick, left kick, Taker ducks the kick - gutshot - Last Ride coming up?? No, NAPPY T throws a kidney punch to get Taker to drop him. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. T with a right - Taker starts back down the ramp - T stomps. Kick. Forearm in the back - van Dam up and joining him - T forearm in the back - doubleteam is on at ringside. T punches, van Dam kicks. Did T just tell referee "Blind" Tim White to "shut the fuck up?" Back in the ring - Taker into the ropes - Taker with a double clothesline! Soupbone for van Dam! Soupbone! Over to T - head to the buckle - running cross-corner to clothesline van Dam - and back to clothesline T. van Dam up on the shoulder - HE gets Snake Eyes! Off the ropes - big boot! But T lands a Harlem sidekick to put Taker down. T going to the top (?) but Taker shoves White into the ropes, crotching T. Taker going up after him...TAKER WITH THE SUPERPLEX! van Dam sails in with a Fivestar on the downed Taker, though - hooks the leg - 1, 2, 3! Champ retains. (6:35) Here's your replay.
The Rock barges in without knocking. "You wanted to see the Rock? Have a word with the Rock?" "Rock...I can't impress upon you the importance of you and Jericho being on the same page at Survivor Series. There can be no other way. I've talked to Jericho earlier about the same subject matter, and I think he understands." "(clears throat) What'd he say?" "Well he had a number of derogatory comments but I don't know that he means any of them quite frankly, I think he understands." "Well what'd he say?" "Well, he said that he was sick of the People's Eyebrow - that doesn't make him the bad guy." "No, not at all. No problem. Did he say anything else?" "Yeah, he said he's sick of the People's Elbow." "No problem. Did he say anything else?" "Well, he said - and I don't think he meant it - but he said if the People don't understand, then he's sick of the People. .... Rock. Regardless of what he said, in terms of surviving, it's all about the World Wrestling Federation. We're talking about a subject matter here that's above a personal situation with you and Jericho, and I know you understand. I know, Rock - I know I can count on you." "You can count on the Rock. As if to say...the Rock's not gonna let you down? You can count on the Rock not to let you down? You think the Rock is gonna let you down? Vince, do you think the Rock's gonna let you down? Do you THINK that the Rock is gonna go into Survivor Series and let all of his WWF teammates down, but more importantly than that, more importantly than you, more importantly than anything, do you think the Rock is gonna go out this Sunday night and let the millions...and millions...and millions of Rock's fans down? No. Not by a long shot. Because it's gonna be the Rock - the Rock - the Rock is the one to lead Team WWF this Sunday night, Survivor Series, into the middle of the ring, and we're gonna whip, whip ALLLLLL their candyasses!" "That's the spirit, Rock! That's the spirit." He offers his hand. "Let the Rock tell you one more thing about Chris Jericho. Let the Rock tell you how he feels about Chris Jericho." "Maybe now's not a good time--" "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - now is a *great* time. Rock'll tell you how he feels about Chris Jericho. Sick of the People's Eyebrow? No problem. Sick of the People's Elbow? No problem. Sick of the People? Problem. Let the Rock tell you about Chris Jericho. Canadian moose hunting, longhair Twisted Sister wannabe, punk-ass...BITCH. If Jericho sticks his nose in...the Rock's business one more time, one more time, he's bought himself a fresh...FRESH...freshhhhhh Brahma Bull asskicking. Asskicking."
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Local hype for the 8 December house show at the Compaq Center in San Jose STILL promises all our "favourite superstars of the WWF and Alliance." I dunno 'bout that. But it's still Austin/Rock for the WWF Championship...so....wait a minute...naw, that doesn't prove anything. Never mind.
COMMISSIONER McFOLEY is out - strange, since Halloween has come and gone and I don't think he's got another book to plug just yet... "Thank you!" "Foley!" "Thank you very much, but I've got a lot to say and a short time to say it in - I don't need to tell anybody out here what's on the line at Survivor Series - not just for the WWF, not just for WCW (I think he means the Alliance), but for me as well. You see, I know full well that if WCW wins at Survivor Series, that I'm pretty much out of a job. And I know that if the WWF wins at Survivor Series that...I'm pretty much out of a job. Because you see, I'd been your WWF Commissioner for about three days...when Vince McMahon decides to show back up again, now - Vince McMahon is the owner of the WWF, he's up here - I'm the Commissioner of the WWF which means I'm right about here, which means I've pretty much got to answer to Vince McMahon, now - I have a long, long list of things I'd like to do with the rest of my life, and answering to Vince McMahon is not one of them, so Vince McMahon, understand this: after Survivor Series, if the WWF wins, you can take my job, but you can't take my pride. You cannot take away from me the way I felt driving from Long Island to Boston, Massachusetts on I-95 (pause for cheap pop) looking at the sign that says 'Worcester, that way' and remembering when it was me, and it was the Rock, December 28th, 1998, and it was Mick Foley going home with the WWF Championship for the first time! And I know that, because I've got a smelly, mildewy, bloody, sweaty, tear-stained, beer-stained belt at the top of my closet stinking up my house. Well big deal, Mick Foley's got a belt, who the hell DOESN'T have a belt anymore? I've got news for you, if you're in the WCW and you're in the WWF and you don't have a championship belt around your waist, there's something wrong with you! Because we've got European champions, intercontinental champions, US champions, two tag team champions, WCW champions, and WWF champions - but the difference is, they can't open up their closet and smell the mildew, smell the sweat, smell the blood, smell the tears, and smell the beer...that reminds me, way back when, I was a WWF Champion when being a champion meant a little something around here. And so, I may not be the WWF Commissioner very much longer, but - with the power invested in me by Linda McMahon, I can sure as hell say that with my last act, I will make those belts mean a damn thing. So what I'm going to do is...I'm going to consolidate those belts. Now you may be wondering why you didn't see Mick Foley on television much anymore...and it's pretty much because I showed up in Long Island, New York last Monday night, my hometown I was told that I wasn't....needed on the program. Well after all, why put Mick Foley on TV in Long Island, we wouldn't want to entertain people, would we? I show up Thursday night, the Meadowlands in New Jersey, I'm told once again, 'Mick, we don't need you on the program.' Well, maybe I'm not needed on the program, but the program sure as hell needs something, and more championship belts is not it. So with that in mind, at Survivor Series, it'll be the WCW US Champion Test (I think he means Edge)...taking on the WWF intercontinental champion Edge (I think he means Test) in a title unification match. It will be the WCW tag team champions the Dudleyz taking on the WWF champions the Hardyz in a title unification match and just to freshen things up, we're gonna hold that match within the confines of a fifteen foot high steel cage. Now I guess maybe I should be consolidating the WWF light heavyweight and the WCW cruiserweight champion, there's only one problem: X-Pac's MIA, nobody knows where he is and...not a whole lot of people seem to care. And Regal's got in his mind that he's gonna take on his old buddy Tajiri - well more power to you, William, because...I wanna say this about William Regal with the full cooperation of the WCW Commissioner because, as big of a horse's pompous ass as William Regal is...he has got a respect for this business second to none and he, like myself, refused to sit back and watch titles that were held by great men become a second rate joke. And if you'd like to give your appreciation to William Regal, I encourage all of you to do that, right here tonight in Boston, Massachusetts...when William Regal takes on the Rock. Have a nice day!" Well....that was different.
Big Show - IS - WALKING!
Yeah yeah, it's the WWF Overdrive of the Night, brought to oyu by Greyhound! From SmackDown!, Big Show gets impressive
CHRISTIAN v. WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW (with "Winner Take All" graphic) in a nontitle match - Christian tries a baseball slide dropkick but it's only a glancing blow. Pescado...caught. Show presses Christian over the top rope and back in. Show in the ring, there's the bell. Christian ducks, right, right, right, Show stops the next one and shoves him facefirst into the mat. Show walks on his chest. Bearhug - Show is Chyna and Christian is Marlena. Christian put into the corner - but he gets the boots up. Christian right, right, off the ropes...Show catches him and presses him...but on his way down, Christian latches onto his back and tries a sleeper - Show backs him into the corner. Overhead slam. Christian falls outside - cue the run-in as DR. TEETH hits the ring - well it's a big headbutt to put him down. Christian in with a chair - Show punches the chair into his face. Cover - referee "Blind" Teddy Long turns back around and counts 1, 2, 3. (1:16) The DUDLEY BOYZ are out (a bit too late, if you ask me) - table in the ring, headbutt for D-Von but Bubba Ray lands a forearm - doubleteam is on...until Show pulls them both over the top and outside. Page is back in...but gets caught in a choke. Christian from behind with the uppernut before anything can happen though - and there's the Diamond Cutter. The Dudleyz take their table and break it over Show. The A.P.A. come out and everybody scatters. Commentators immediately suspect a concussion. Here're yer replays. Bradshaw looks unhappy that he didn't get to perform his fallaway slam.
Catch the WWF live! Tomorrow, Albany! Saturday, Bristol! Sunday, Greensboro for Survivor Series! RAW is Charlotte! And Tuesday is Fayetteville! Wait, I said all this already.
Check out WWF New York - "A great place to watch the Survivor Series!" We look inside...but there's nobody famous there, apparently
Rock - is - WALKING!
Your hosts are LARRY KING & PAUL E. HEYMAN.
Two weeks ago, ROB ZOMBIE performed "Never Gonna Stop" while Edge stood nearby "looking cool." Did MTV show this yesterday? Seeing Edge with the intercontinental championship reminds me that they really don't plan far enough ahead these days. As if that weren't enough, I'm pretty sure they edit down the performance. Not that I'm complaining - they could have edited it down to zero and I wouldn't have complained. Heck, maybe the song IS only two minutes long. Who knows.
"The Sinister Urge" comes out tomorrow! Buy your Rob Zombie CDs TOMORROW!
In the locker room, Rock paces about....and here's Chris Jericho. "Well, Therock....I understand you've got something to say to me, let me get this straight. You called me a 'punk-ass bitch?'" "Well, let the Rock get something straight. Did you say that you were...sick of the People?" "Well if the People are on your side, then maybe I AM sick of the People." "Well then maybe you ARE a punk-ass BITCH!" "Is that right? Well why don't you punk me out then...bitch." Before it REALLY gets good (ha), the door opens - it's Undertaker! (Hey, now it WILL get good!) "I hope I'm not interrupting something here. But in case you two didn't notice, I just got my ass handed to me by RVD and Booker T." Kane enters the locker room. "And where were you? Let me make something clear to you two - the three of ya. It appears to me that RVD and Booker T, they're on the same page. Now the three of you, I don't know. But I hear, I've been here a long damn time, and I ain't ready for my career to be over. Are you ready for yours to be over? Well if you two - the three of you don't get your head out of your asses....you're not gonna have to worry about being fired after Survivor Series - you're gonna have to worry about me beatin' the living crap outta all of ya. We're a TEAM, dammit....and we need to start acting like it. Do I make myself clear?" Kane nods. Jericho: "Yeah." Rock: "We are a team. And you're crystal clear." "Damn right." Taker leaves, Kane leaves. "By the way, Rock...best of luck in your match with Regal tonight. Maybe when it's over, I'll come down to the ring and...show you my support." Rock grabs the WCW championship belt, puts it on his shoulder, and says with a smile, "Well, the Rock'll be waiting...he'll be waiting." Hey, who's cel phone is ringing?
UP NEXT: The Rock vs. William Regal for the WCW Championship!
And now, the WWF Boot of the Week, brought to you by LUGZ! From SmackDown!, Jericho interferes in Rock's title defense against Booker T - including a wicked chairshot after the match.
WCW CHAMPIONSHIP: COMMISSIONER REGAL v. THE ROCK - Ross has the LINE OF THE YEAR with "He has the look on his face, does Regal, that he - he smelled your...your torso." Heyman: "He WHA? What are you - who writes your material?" Ross: "Nobody." Me: "DUH." Regal decides to shove Rock off the apron, leave the ring and take it to Rock on the floor. Forearms - into the ring ropes and Rock bounces off. Why is referee "Blind" Charles Robinson putting on a ten count if the match hasn't even started yet? Rock rolled in - and rammed into the corner of the apron. Regal in, HERE WE GO: Stomp, left, left, choke on the second rope. Rock into the ropes, but he flies off with a clothesline - right, right, wihp is reversed, elbow by Regal - 1, 2, no. Cover, 2. Cover, 2. Rock is wearing HIS street clothes tonight - maybe his luggage is lost and right next to Austin's luggage. Knee, knee, European uppercut by Regal. Forearm across the face, grinding it in. Rock comes back - right, right, right, Regal with a knee, and a running knee off the ropes. 1, 2, Rock kicks out. Regal to a headlock. Commentators agree: Vince is Satan. Rock back to his feet - right to the body, right, right, right, into the ropes, belly-to-belly throw, gutshot, DDT, 1, 2, no. Into the ropes is reversed - Regal puts Rock over the top and outside...and follows. Rock with a right - Regal blocks a head to the apron, gutshot, head to the apron BY Regal. Rock thrown back in - TAJIRI is out - GREEN MIST - Regal staggers back in the ring - Rock with a spinebuster, sharpshooter...and Regal taps. (2:36) Hmm, guess we'll end the show early...oh. "Cut the Rock's music! Now the Rock knows there's someone in the back who hates the Rock - someone in the back who said he could WHIP the Rock's ass ANYTIME - so the Rock says...Stone Cold Steve Austin, just bring it!"
Steve Austin - IS - WALKING!
Nah, let's take an ad break.
Survivor Series ad
When we come back, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN makes his entrance and walks down to the ring. They're nose to nose - hey, this is like the end of every "My Way" video back in March. "We go BACK...to WrestleMania. The Rock has not forgotten about WrestleMania. The Rock has not forgotten about the very next night on RAW. And the Rock has not forgotten that earlier tonight, you said that you can WWWWHUP the Rock's ass. And all this talk before Survivor Series about you being the one to jump to the WWF - well the Rock *hopes* that it's you who jumps to the WWF, because that means you'll be employed by the WWF, and that means the Rock is gonna whup your candyass in the WWF!" Austin with a killer glare. "Not only, whup your ass in the WWF, but beat you for the WWF title. The Rock will never, ever forget - and another thing he didn't forget is FINALLY, THE ROCK HAS COME--" Austin lifts the mic from him! "You expect me to stand there while you're flapping your little gums? Say you didn't forget this, you didn't forget that, I'm supposed to stand there and let you breathe all over me. I think what you were trying to say was FINALLY, STONE COLD--" Rock takes the mic back. "Rock E!" "FINALLY, the Rock HAS COME--" Austin takes the mic again. "RAA KEE RAA KEE RAA KEE RAA KEE RAA KEE! Correct me if I'm wrong but what I think you're trying to say is FINALLY, STONE COLD HAS COME--" Gee, I wonder how long this segment's gonna go. "You don't understand something. You don't come out, you don't grab the Rock's mic when the Rock is trying to talk, you don't say what the Rock says, you don't see the Rock coming out and saying 'hwha hwha hwha hwha HWHA HWHA?' ... 'HOOWHU? HOOWHUT?'" "What? What? What? What? ("What?") What? ("What?") What? ("What?") What? ("What?") What? ("What?") What? ("What?") What? ("What?") What? ("What?") What? ("What?") What? ("What?") You don't like what I'm saying, maybe I'll try this. And that's the bottom liiine, 'cause Stone Cold--" "Wuwuwuwu-what?" Geez, these guys should just kiss already. "What?" "You don't see the Rock coming out here saying all that supid CRAP. The Rock--" They dance about a bit. Man, I'm BEGGING him to plant one on him right now. "I got one thing to say to you--" "We've been this close for five minutes, and the Rock can honestly say for some particular reason, your breath smells like...strudel!" See he DOES want him. "Well I don't mean--" "As a matter of fact, it doesn't smell like strudel - now the Rock realises what it smells like, it smells like a big, steaming piece of dog turd!" That's it, I'm outta here. "You think you're funny? Insulting me like that? Does it make you feel good? ("What?") Does it? ("What?") Does it make you feel more like a human being? ("What?") Does it make you feel special? ("What?") Does it make you feel proud? ("What?")" Austin is bobbing his head to the audience reaction. "I can say right now, Rock - I've heard you talk about me before, you've said 'yeah, Stone Cold Steve Austin, you come out there with your beer belly.' ("What?") You call that a beer belly. ("What?") You call that a beer belly. ("What?") That ain't no beer belly, that's a fuel tank full ol' whoopass machine, and I'm about to open up a can on your ass right now! That would be the easy thing to do. ("What?") That would be the obvious thing to do. ("What?") The hard thing for me to do, Rock..." Hand on shoulder - he's GONNA KISS HIM! Rock gently takes Austin's hand OFF his shoulder. "Don't touch me. Please don't touch me. The hard thing is to come out here ("What?") Do you mind? I'm trying to get across a real special point here. It hurts my feelings when you do that. ("What?") I said it hurts my feelings when he talks like that. ("What?") It hurts my feelings - it hurts my feelings a lot - you s- s- s- you ssssssssumbitch! It'd be easy for us to come out here and fight, but I have found out in the past, that a good little song has always...k-- don't ever pull away from me. A little song might kinda ease the tension. So maybe I'll sing ya a song right here and now. To ease the tension between the Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin. You remember that old rock band called Boston? Rock and roll? Boston, you remember the band? Well I don't remember the words to any of their songs right now so I'll sing you a little favourite that my dad used to sing to me back when I was a kid - I'm gonna sing it to you to make things between us a little less tense - also song's go out to a little boy there in San Antonio, Texas with a busted leg, little Jimmy Barris, this song's for you, too. Goes a little like this. Hope this clears things up between you and me. 'Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? / Could it be a faded rose from days gone BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? / And did I hear you say he was meeting you here today / to take you to his...mansion in the...skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.' That make you feel better?" Rock makes the "people who like Bette Midler...are a little comme ci, comme ca" hand motion. "What's that mean, you're a little funny?" Rock takes back the mic. "The Rock appreciates you trying to EEEEEASE the tension. Appreciates that. He appreciates entertainment - how about - how 'bout the Rock sing a song to you. You're from Texas, you like country music. Here you go. 'You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em / Know when to walk away, know when to run / You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table / There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.' That make you feel any better?" "I feel like crap." "The Rock got it, how 'bout this, how 'bout this - you're gonna feel great, the Rock is gonna feel great, they're gonna feel great - you and the Rock, why don't we sing a song...togetha. Any song you want!" "You wanna sing a duet with Stone Cold Steve Austin, that's what you're sayin'?" "Does Boston wanna hear the Rock and Stone Cold sing?" "Let me put it like this: if you wanna hear the Rock and Stone Cold sing a duet together, gimme a hell yeah! What? What? You wanna duet, you got a duet. Since I sing country music, ha - HUH-HUH - let me warm up a little more, eheheh - ahhh EHHHH-EHEH, maybe this'll bring back a few memories, I'll catch it about midway through, anybody who's anybody knows who Jimmy Buffet is, it goes a little like this - AHEEEH. 'I blew out my flip-flop / Stepped on a pop-top / Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home / But there's booze in the blender / And soon it will render / That frozen concotion that helps me hang on'" (together) "'Wasting away again in Margaritaville / Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt'" "'Some people claim that there's a ROCKY to blame / But I know...'" "'...it's OL' STONE COLD'S fault.'" Handshake, hug, and they raise arms. "Oh, by the way...by the way...the Rock will never, EVER forget." ROCK BOTTOM! Rock mounts Austin and starts raining rights - he gets to 15 or 16 before KURT ANGLE runs out and clocks Rock - stomping away - Austin joining him. CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO is out with a STEEL chair - he works on Angle while Rock turns it around against Austin - Jericho clotheslines Angle out of the ring....Rock flips the double bird and KISSES THAT RIGHT to take Austin out. Rock's back is to Jericho, who still has the chair...but Jericho *doesn't* swing. Play Rock's music! Angle and Austin stand on the ramp and stare at Rock and Jericho. Just before Angle and Austin start to shove AGAIN, the RAW Zone credits are up and we're spared.
It took me over half an hour to do that last segment. I think you should know that I expect all of you to put me on your Christmas list STAT.
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