T(O)N(I)G(HT): Oh man, "Unification I" - SO SO hyped when it was originally set to air, then revealed as the ultimate sweeps gimmick when Spock uttered a grand total of SEVEN words in the final ten seconds of the show. And, trust me, part II didn't make up for THAT. You know what...there's probably a WrestleMania parallel to draw here....

TV-14-DLV - CC - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!

Opening Credits

PYRO EH? Coming to you LIVE from the Molson Centre in Montreal, PQ 18.3.2, 17,346 in the house, a heap more at WWF New York, you and I on the Web and let's not waste any time...

TONIGHT: Triple H RETURNS!

But first...YOU KNOW WHO makes a solo entrance to "Theme from NWO" to the same tumultuous cheers tonight that he received last night at WrestleMania - proving once again that all Canadians are...ah, hell, but I dug that match too. Another extended pause for the "Hogan" chant. NOW he's...no, another wave of crowd noise means we'll wait again. "Damn, I love you guys. To be honest with you, at WrestleMania I expected a lot of things. I expected to have the greatest match in the world with Rock - and for it to go down in history as the greatest match ever. I also expected that my NWO brothers, Nash and Hall, would (boos) - I expected them to respect my wishes and not interfere in that match with me and the Rock. I also expected to walk out of the ring at WrestleMania with my name etched in stone as the only icon of the WWF. And to be quite honest with you, I also expected to beat the Rock within an inch of his damn life. But there's one thing that I didn't expect - I didn't expect, at WrestleMania, seventy thousand people would stand as I came out the aisle, and stick with me each and every step of the way. And I also didn't expect seventy thousand people to chant 'Hogan - Hogan - Hogan...' ("Ho-gan!") And for that, I wanna thank each and every one o' you out there. But I gotta be honest with ya - there is one more person I gotta thank - and that's the Rock. (Mixed reaction) You know, Rock, I gotta admit - when I came to the WWF, I came here to take you out - I came here to embarrass you, Rock. And just like everybody else that got in the path of Hulk Hogan, I was gonna run wild all over you, Rock. When we were in Chicago, a couple of weeks ago, and I ran you over with a semi, I thought I'd never see you again - but you came back. And then last week in the tag match, when I got you right in the centre of the ring, hit you with the boot, dropped the leg, and I put a 1, 2, 3 right on your candyass, I didn't expect you to come back. And then at WrestleMania, Rock, in front of seventy thousand people, as they were screamin' my name, I stole the energy from each and every one of those people at WrestleMania, and as I started hulkin' up, Rock, as I got in your face, and I hit you with the boot, I hit you with the legdrop, not only did you come back and kick out, you turned the tide on me and you beat me for a 1, 2, 3, right in front of all those people. Well Rock, I gotta admit...you beat me right in the centre of the ring, and since you beat me right in the centre of the ring ("Rocky sucks!") - since you were man enough, Rock, to beat me right in the middle of the ring, I was man enough to walk over and shake your hand after the match. But there's one more thing I gotta say - I just want you to know, Rock, it might not me - it might not be today, it might not be next week, but some day, Rock, Hulk Hogan and the Rock are gonna square off ONE MORE TIME, brother." IF YA SMELLLLLL means THE ROCK is oat to provide a rebuttal - he should probably wait 'til they're back in America, but what can you do? Two corners for the Rock. Hogan gives a thumbs up - the crowd is content to continue their chant of "Hogan" so they don't turn down the Rock's music just yet. Hogan and Rock take turns looking from side to side, which I have to honestly say looks goofier and goofier each time I see them doing it. Rock has a mic - but doesn't speak as another "Hogan" chant has taken over. "FINALLY" - waits oat the reaction - "FINALLY" - again with the boos - and *another* "Hogan" chant. "FINE-LY...THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO MONTRÉAL!" Crowd chants along anyway - and FINALLY gives Rock a pop. Rock removes his glasses - oops, lost 'em, another "Hogan" chant fires up...this one at least sounds like it's TRYING to mix with a "Rock E" chant. "And finally, Hulk Hogan has come back to the Hulkamaniacs!" Another longish pause for the fan reaction. "After WrestleMania, everyone congratulated the Rock on the greatest match of all time - and everyone asked the Rock, 'Rock, how did it feel? How did it feel when seventy thousand strong were chanting for Hogan?' Well the Rock says this: the same passion that Hogan has, the same passion you have, the same passion the Rock has, they have. It's that same passion that allowed them to stand on their feet, seventy thousand strong, for thirty minutes straight, witness the electricity, icon to icon, and for that passion and for that passion only the Rock thanks them and...he thanks you. And as far as your challenge goes...any time, any place, it would be....it would be my honour." Rock turns his head slightly because we haven't yet had enough chants tonight. "But before you and the Rock go one on one, before that even happens, there's something that you've got to do - despite the fact, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, your NWO brothers turned on ya at WrestleMania, despite all that, you still have on NWO colours. So the Rock says this: concerning the NWO, why don't you tell the NWO exactly how you feel as only Hulk Hogan can." Hogan reaches for the shirt - rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrip - and tosses it to the crowd. But before he can say anything else, the video treatment heralds the arrival of THE OATSIDERS. That Nash is big as a house!! "Whoa, Hogan! You sure showed us! What an act of definace! Fact of the matter is this: YOU turned on us before we ever turned on you! We were brought into here by Vince McMahon as a lethal injection in the World Wrestling Federation! The plan was simple: systematic - pick one guy, take him out - that first guy was supposed to be Austin! Don't look at them, look at ME, you son of a bitch! Did the plan work? NO! And why not? 'cause the Great One has gotta challenge you at WrestleMania. And YOU - you just HAD to say yes - didn't ya, brother? We woulda BEAT Austin - three on one, we woulda beat Austin - and then you coulda had your match with him..." Crowd chants "ass hole" in Canadian...I think. "You know what - but you couldn't let your ego jump out of the way for one minute - it had to be your night at WrestleMania, didn't it? We were so worried about bein' poison in the World Wrestling Federation, but no - YOU were poison in the NWO! Let me make it real clear to ya, you son of a bitch...it was NEVER about these people! We weren't brought in here for these people! It wasn't about the people." Rock is ready to respond...but first, another "Hogan" chant. "Let the Rock just say something right here, you come out here running your mouth, (crying noises)....stand up there, you and your punkass friend - Big Daddy Cool, the Rock's ass, more like Big Daddy Bitch! You come out here and you interrupt the Rock, interrupt Hogan, talk about injecting lethal poison, well the Rock says this: you wanna inject something? Well why don't you inject some of that lethal poison on the Rock and Hulk Hogan...tonight?" Hall takes the mic from Nash. "Hey yo. Hey Rock! Do you - and that traitor Hogan - want some - of Hall - and Nash - tonight?" "What'd you just say, Chico?" "I said - Hey Rock! Do you - and that traitor - want some - of Hall - and Nash - TONIGHT." "Well the Rock says this: what are you stupid or something, that Hooked on Phonics ain't workin' too well? You didn't understand the Rock? Well how 'bout this: well the Rock'll tell you in a way maybe you'll understand 'Hey yo, Chico...hey yo, Chico - you - Big Daddy Bitch (tugboat pantomime) - the Rock says this: the Rock says this: the Rock/Hogan - you/Nash, the Rock'll tell you what, we're gonna inject somethin' all right - we're gonna inject somethin', we're gonna inject both our boots, turn 'em sideways and stick 'em straight up both your candyasses!" "Hey, Scott - hey, Kevin. It's like my partner just said - just bring it." "And Hogan, I'm just curious. Ya ready to choke on another one, like you did at 'Mania?" "Hohohohohoho!" "Nash, Hall...what YOU gonna do? What'cha gonna do when the Rock and Hogan team for the first time in history? What'cha gonna do when the Rock and Hogan run wild on YOU?" Hit his music! Hogan again makes the international sign of "Just Bring It." Damn, they're giving away the Backlash main event the night after WrestleMania? Well at least they're not *desperate* yet...

And for those of you scoring at home....well, congratulations to you (thanks ESPN Radio!), but for the rest of you, that opening segment was just under 25 minutes.

And now, the Boot of the Week, brought to you by Lugz! From WrestleMania, Rob van Dam wins the intercontinental title...I THINK his boot was involved somewhere in this set of clips

WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: POINTS TO SELF (with Forceable Entry CD cover) v. CHRISTIAN - Ring flowerpot LILIAN GARCIA announces Christian as hailing from Toronto instead of Tampa - we'll have to see if the WrestleMania intro was a one-night thing or not. Kick by Christian, right, right, right, backed into the corner, right, right, right, cross-corner whip, but runs into an elbow. van Dam vaults to the second rope for a kick. Into the corner, van Dam shoudler in the gut, shoulder, superfluous backflip...oops, runs into a boot. Christian hangs him on the top rope, right, off the ropes and knocks him off into the barricade. Christian leaves the ring to bring him back in - stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. van Dam gutshot, left, right, knee by Christian, right, into the ropes, but van Dam comes off with a Viscera kick. Lawler's insider comment of the night: "Everyone's got a summer home in Florida, don't they? I used to have one!" Ross almost loses it here. Big kick, right, into the opposite corner, tumbling run monkey flip, but Christian ducks the next swing and puts him in position for the trademark backbreaker - van Dam manages to punch oat of it, though... leg sweep takes Christian down, off the ropes with Rolling Thunder and gets 2. Christian rakes the face...Slop Drop. Christian goes oatside, grabs the title belt...and walks away? Referee "Blind" Brian Hebner puts on the count...no, wait, DR. TEETH is oat to toss Christian back in the ring - Christian manages to duck the roundhouse kick, but van Dam catches HIS kick - stepover heel kick, up to the top, Fivestar, good night. Champ retains. (2:46) By the way, Diamond Dallas Page is a giant suckup - look at his FOZZY T-shirt!

A forlorn Chris Jericho is WALKING! An ebullient Security guard says something unintelligible in Canadian revolving around the fans not being able to wait to rub it in his face that he lost the championship, so Jericho gives him a major league beatdown. "You wanna rub that in my face, huh? These jackasses will never get a chance." He spits his gum on him, then wishes him bienvenue...and walks back the way he came.

UP NEXT: Trish vs. Lita!

WWF RAW for the Xbox ad

TONIGHT: Either they don't have an animated graphic of Linda....or...good lord, perhaps that IS the animated graphic! Anyway, Linda will say something later

TONIGHT: Billy & Chuck put it on the line against the Dudley Boyz!

RIGHT NOW: TRISH STRATUS - THE FITNESS MODEL (with RAW is brought to you by "The Scorpion King" and I Wanna Go, Stacker 2, and Burger King!) v. LITA (with Forceable Entry CD cover) - See, Lita is FRESH and EXCITING now because she has a BLACK LIGHT ENTRANCE - black light having been fresh and exciting something like three decades ago. Stratus pulls Lita off the ropes in mid-pose - shove to the corner and we're off. Lita barrels her over and starts allegedly punching. Back up, Lita right, right, into the ropes, Stratus with a kick, clothesline, hooks the leg, 2. Two handfuls of hair...into a headlock - Lita elbows away but Trish holds on - Lita counters with a death suplex. Referee "Blind" Jack Down puts on the count - both up at 3 - Lita ducks the swing, right, right, into the ropes is reversed, Lita wants the headscissors takeover but they end up going SPLAT instead. Yikes. Gutshot by Lita, but Trish shoves her away from the Twist of Fate, gutshot, standing overhead brain kick (okay, I dressed that call up), wants the Stratusfaction but Lita turns it into a toss. Lita goes up top - moonsault, hooks the leg - 1, 2, 3. (1:32) JAZZZZZZ hits the ring post-match and stomps all over Lita - wants the DDT but Trish saves - Lita and Trish work a doubleteam until IVORY joins the fray on Jazz' side - Lita tossed to the floor - Trish fed to her for the Blowout/X-Factor/I forgot what Ivory calls it (or if she does) - they play Jazz' theme as Ivory offers the hand - and gets five.

"The Rock is The Scorpion King" magazine ad

The Big Show shills Stacker 2 - whatever happened to the Big Show, anyway?

Catch the WWF live! Tomorrow, Ottawa! Next week, RAW hits Penn State! Tuesday is Philadelphia - and won't it be interesting to see how Hogan and Rock go over in a REAL city?

Here's a "LIVE" shot of WWF Headquarters

Inside is LINDA McMAHON. "Good evening. First of all, let me take this opportunity to thank our millions of fans around the world, as well as the World Wrestling Federation superstars, who made WrestleMania Eighteen such an overwhelming success. Secondly, I would like to inform our fans, our superstars, as well as the co-owners of the World Wrestling Federation that the Board of Directors has reached a decision on an action plan for the compnay. The board is afraid that absent any action, the animosity between Ric Flair and Vince McMahon will continue to be counterproductive for all concerned. Therefore we are proposing a brand extension under the World Wrestling Federation corporate umbrella under which Ric Flair would have 100% control and authority over WWF RAW, and Vince McMahon would have 100% control and authority over WWF SmackDown! We also propose that one week from tonight on RAW there be a draft of World Wrestling Federation superstars in which each co-owner would select talent his respective talent who would be exclusive to his brand - with the exception of World Wrestling Federation Women's champion, and men's champion, whose services would be available to both brands. This is an exciting adventure for the World Wrestling Federation - one which we feel is the only solution to ensure that this bitter competition between Vince McMahon and Ric Flair becomes a positive for the benefit of our company, and for our superstars, but most importantly for you, the World Wrestling Federation fans. Thank you."

Vince McMahon is WALKING! (Well, okay, SWAGGERING!)

Take a gander at the exterior of the Centre Molson

Here comes BILLIONAIRE VINCE to provide instant reaction. "You Screwed Bret" chant. "So then, it appears as though the Board of Directors have suggested some sort of brand extension, imagine that - another way of saying what they want to accomplish is this: what they're saying is that me (Vince McMahon), the man who created Monday Night RAW will no longer be on RAW. That's what they're saying! So my sole reason for coming out here, before this....unusual French Canadian crowd. I was nice to you, don't make me be mean. The only reason I stand before you here tonight is to give you a simple heartfelt goodbye. I'm saying goodbye. Oh, you applaud that. You like that? Oh, you're gonna miss me. Oh, you're definitely gonna miss me all right - you're gonna miss my oratory - you're gonna miss my presence! But I don't think I'm gonna miss any of you!" Crowd has broken into the chorus of "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye." "But instead of having me (Vince McMahon) on RAW...SHADDUP and listen to me! Instead of having ME on RAW, you get the consolation prize - you get Ric Flair. Now Ric Flair's not bad, but I gotta tell you he's no Vince McMahon, not by a longshot. I believe Ric Flair lacks certain qualities that make a successful businessman. Ric Flair lacks the killer instinct. Ric Flair lacks marketing savvy. He lacks mind manipulation, you gotta know what you're doing in this world to be a success." The song is now SO loud that Vince has to stop again. "All right, have it your way...I predict Ric Flair will be a miserable failure!" Hit the music - RIC FLAIR is oat. Also, the RAW credits and TV-14-DLV ratings box. "That's just like you Canadians, associating yourself with a failure! Well, Mr. Flair - out here, interrupting me, trying to...steal my spotlight, no doubt. Look atcha. You know the reason why you got your hand on that rope? Because you can't stand up straight, pal. I wouldn't be surprised if there's not a little internal bleeding there - look at your face - it's all swollen, under those bandages...it probably looks like hamburger, and why? Because of WrestleMania and because of the man who kicked your ass from one side of the ring all of the way over to the other side, The Undertaker. So Ric, I - I'm not the kinda man who holds a grudge, or anything at all like that, but let me say from the bottom of my heart, let me say I enjoyed every moment of WrestleMania and every moment of the Undertaker beating you limb from limb. What's the matter, Ric?" Crowd starts singing again - clearly they're really into what Vince is saying. Vince throws in the towel and starts to conduct. "And you know, you people can't even sing in tune, either. So Ric, there you are, you're smiling - you know what? Holding onto the rope just to stand up straight, 'cause otherwise you'll fall down - knees all shaking...whaddaya got to say for yourself, Ric, or can't you even talk, either?" Flair asks for the mic from Vince and gets it - Vince careful to note his hand is shaking. "Every time I'm in your presence, I can't help but be a little overwhelmed. But if you will finally SHUT UP! I will tell you what's on my mind. First of all..." "Slick Ric" and "woooo!" chants. "You're right, RAW is your baby - you created it! You, the almighty Vince McMahon, you created RAW! You used it to flaunt your wealth..." "You screwed Bret" chant. "You - you used it to shove your miserable daughter down our throats week in and week out, you used it to have people walk out here and kiss your ass. Not gonna happen anymore, baby - you see, what you never understood, Vince McMahon, is RAW was never about you - it was about the superstars that walked that aisle and busted THEIR ass, week in and week out, to put together the greatest show on the face of this earth, not you! Woooo! And I promise - hey, YOU! Talking to you, don't look away. I promise you this. The RAW brand will go way on and never skip a beat without your miserable ass on the RAW show week after week. You're gone! Say it for him!" And they sing while Flair salaams. Vince goes to leave...but stops short and takes the mic back instead. "You know what, just to prove my point, let's get down to a little business here, we're gonna have a draft on Monday - I'm gonna prove to you...with my superior mental acumen, I will PROVE I can draft better than you - I'll have a far vast array of superior superstars on SmackDown! than you will on RAW, it'll start this Monday, and I propose it starts right now to find out who gets first draft pick with a coin toss." Flair takes the coin from Vince. "Call it." "Flip it, dammit - heads, heads...heads. Heads it is! So Ric...I would simply suggest that, uh, you get accustomed to what just happened, because you see, Ric, that means starting this Monday, and each and every week thereafter, I win....you lose." Then he adds a right hand that knocks Flair down...and goes into a strut. Flair gets up - right, chop, right - and Vince goes down - Flair adds a figure four. Hit his music! They give us one more TV-14-DLV ratings box just for the hell of it.

You're watching THE NEW TNN!

Take a look at the wwf.com front page - ROAR

BOOKER TIO and KURT ANGLE v. KING EDGE (with Forceable Entry CD cover) and KANE - T and Angle want to discuss strategy while Kane does the pyro thing, but Kane grabs T by the hair and pulls him in the hard way. Right, into the corner, gutshot, into the opposite corner, but T lands an elbow as Kane comes in. T walks into a sidewalk slam...Kane going up - flying clothesline lands - leg is hooked, 1, 2, Angle makes the save. Kane is distracted enough by Angle (quickly going to the floor) and turns back to eat a T superkick. Angle gets the tag - but finds himself in the choke! T with a kick to break it up - Angle goes to work - right, right, combines with T on a double suplex since referee "Blind" Mike Chioda is busy trying to keep Edge out of the ring. T stays in without a tag - and looks at his hand...off the ropes but the axe kick MISSES - Kane clotheslines T down. Tag to Edge! Tag to Angle, Edge with a clothesline, clothesline, into the ropes, BIG back body drop, T comes in and HE gets an atomic drop, clothesline, Viscera kick for Angle, now climbing to the top...Angle tries to meet him for the superplex but Edge has it scouted and throws him off - There's the missile dropkick - 1, 2, T makes the save! All four men in now - Kane throwing him over the top to the floor and following - Edge ducks a clothesline - wants the Edge-o-matic but Angle drops down, kicks him into a drop toehold, then grabs the ANGLELOCK!! Before Edge can tap, Kane is in to save - catches Angle in a choke - chokeslam! T back in - right, right, right, Kane right, right, right is ducked, T clotheslines him over the top to the floor! T oat after him - hard into the STEEL steps. Back in the ring, Edge lands a gutshot - but Angle blocks the DDT attempt - gutshot, wants the Olympic Slam but Edge lands on his feet - ducks an oncoming Harlem sidekick and *Angle* ends up taking it! T tries to help Angle up...then evades a SPEAR and Angle takes THAT! Kane grabs T - 1, 2, NO!! Kane puts T into the steps. Edge tries a gutshot but Angle catches it - Angle tries for the German suplex but Edge reverses to a rollup - but only gets 2! Edge ducks a clothesline, Kane gives Angle a right as he comes off the ropes - Edgecution - 1, 2, 3!! (3:50) Edge is either really good at selling an anklelock tonight - or he really hurt himself and that's a real limp.

TONIGHT: Hogan & Rock vs. Hall & Nash!

It's not too late to get the WWF Shop Zone Rock/Hogan combo!

And now, the WWF Burn of the Night, brought to you by Stacker 2! From WrestleMania, the hardcore championship changes hands several times...and Maven steals Christian's luggage

WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: MAVEN (with Castrol GTX presents the swinging scythes of Backlash!) v. AL SNOW - Snow rushes to the ring and goes to work on the floor - running clothesline, forearm in the back, forearm, knee, forearm, forearm, forearm, forearm, forearm, hard whip into the STEEL steps, uppercut, right hand, whip into the barrier is reversed, and Maven hits the dropkick. Maven grabs a trashcan lid - but Snow ducks - Snow with a knee and another clubbing forearm. Snow picks up the lid...but decides against it. Head to the barrier. Everybody in the ring - Maven with a surprise lid shot - WHACK - runs into him - WHACK - dares him to get up again - Snow counters with a drop toehold shot (methinks Maven expected that last time) - Snow grabas the lid - NOW he WHACKS him! WHACK! One more lid shot. "Stay down! Stay down!" WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! But now SPIKE DUDLEY is in with the STOP sign - WHACK to Snow! Also, SOME GUY has come in from the crowd - Maven dumps Spike over the top to the floor. Ross id's him as Brock Lesnar - oh THAT'S who that is. Snow gets a spinebuster on the trashcan - Maven gets a fireman's carry spun into a reverse TKO - oh no, it's PAUL E. HEYMAN back to kill us all, on the oatside of the ring (looks like he's opted for a Yankees cap) directing traffic. Spike off the top with a broomstick broken over Lesnar's head - NO SALE. Clothesline puts him down. Picks him up with a double choke into the powerbomb position - Spike tries to counter with a 'rana but Lesnar stops him cold - up for the POWERBOMB - make it a DOUBLE POWERBOMB - make it a TRIPLE POWERBOMB. Heyman hits the ring...and raises Lesnar's hand. Umm, shouldn't he pin Maven or something? We go to an ad break instead. Oh well. No closing bell, so we'll call it (No contest 3:15)

Moments Ago, See Previous Paragraph

Your hosts are a pair of kings - LARRY & JERRY

TONIGHT: You may have heard Rock & Hogan are teaming to take on Hall & Nash - if not, well NOW you know...and here's how we got there

Earlier Tonight, Twenty-Eight Paragraphs Ago - aka FUHFUHWID

Backstage, Lita & Matt make oat - "I'm glad things are good again." "I know, me too." "My life's finally complete." William Regal interrupts. "How enchanting. It does the soul such wonders to see two young people in love." "Hey, don't get hot because you're not gettin' any." "Ooh, tag!" "Perhaps you won't be so clever next week when we have the draft, I mean just think - young Matt here could be picked by Mr. McMahon and your brother Jeff, he could be picked by Mr. Flair, so that would mean no more Hardy Boyz, wouldn't it? And...oh...what if Mr. Flair picks you, my little hellcat, and Mr. McMahon picks YOU, young Matthew. Then you two wouldn't be seeing as much of each other, would you, and - poof! - the fairy tale would end. Ta-ta!" Matt and Lita fade to crestfallen

"Before They Were Superstars" and "Royal Rumble" videotape and DVD ad

Big Show shills Stacker 2 - again

UP NEXT: Triple H RETURNS!

BUT NOW: WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: DUDLEY BOYZ (with Forceable Entry CD cover - and Stacy Dudley) v. BILLY & CHUCK - Billy is punched before he can even leave the apron to come into the ring, while D-Von goes to work on Chuck - right, right, Chuck right, D-Von, Chuck, D-Von, Chuck, D-Von, D-Von, D-Von, Chuck with a knee, right, into the ropes, D-Von ducks, double clothesline puts both men down. Both men tag - Bubba Ray with a clothesline, clothesline, sidewalk slam, Chuck in and HE gets a back body drop - clotheslined to the floor - Billy back on him - gutshot, off the ropes, Bubba catches him in a bodyslam - D-Von up top for "What Are You Doing?" which can only mean that referee "Blind" Nick Patrick has to choose THAT exact moment to look away. Leg is hooked, 1, 2, Chuck saves. All four men in the ring - Chuck and Bubba oat, D-Von right, Billy into the corner, collision - Stacy climbs onto the apron and shakes her thang but Billy ain't goin' for it for some reason or other - The One and Only on D-Von...signalling for the Pound'Ass-er but Stacy comes in with a title belt and gives him a rather feeble clocking - more of a wristwatching, I'd say - Billy gets 3D but Patrick's already called for the bell (DQ 1:22) Bubba gets the explanation and I think we're about to get a turn here. Stacy asks them to talk to the hand and tries to leave, but Bubba grabs a handful of hair and pulls her back in - D-Von, get the table - D-Von sets up the table...wow, that's kind of far away...whew, Bubba pulls it half an inch close to the corner - and there's the superbomb through the table! Play their music (available on the Forced Entry CD starting next Tuesday!) Here's a replay, two angles. Here's an ad break.

Tough Enough 2 ad

Like it or not, for better or worse, he *is* now THE MAN. Triple H is still good enough to sport a limp from his leg injury, at least. Entrance falls shy of three minutes, but the pause for crowd reaction pushes us over that line. "Triple H" chant KINDA breaks oat. H is smiling. "You know, self doubt sometimes can be your worst opponent. Ten months ago, almost to the day, I suffered a career-threatening injury when I tore my quad. During that time in rehab, I doubted a lot of things - I doubted whether I could ever come back, and I doubted that if I did come back that I would ever be as good as I once was - last night at WrestleMania, in front of sixty-eight thousand people, I defeated Chris Jericho and I became the Undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion. And all of the doubts went away, because I proved to myself, I proved to the world, I proved to Chris Jericho that I am The Game...and apparently, I am That Damn Good. So I stand in this ring tonight... ("Trip Pull H!") I stand in this ring tonight a happy man, and when I'm happy, I like to spread the joy around. So I'd like to show you a little piece of video footage from WrestleMania last night that I know will put a smile on my face, and I'm pretty damn sure it's gonna put a smile on yours. Roll this footage!"

Let Us Take you Back To WrestleMania where Triple H gave Stephanie McMahon the Pedigree. Whoopee!

We come back to see Triple H all grins. But STEFFO interrupts things with an entrance to "My Time" - and a designer horsecollar. H laughs at *this*, too. "Slut!" "That's very funny, Hunter, but I'm about to wipe that smile off your face. You see, Chris Jericho doesn't wanna wait the ninety days in his contract. Chris Jericho wants his title back. Chris Jericho wants his rematch for the Undisputed WWF Championship and he wants it one week from tonight on RAW!" "Oh, I see. Chris Jericho sees me out here limping and he smells blood. He wants to play The Game, he just doesn't want to play when I'm 100%. That's smart." "What's the matter, Hunter - are you scared?" "No, no no, I'm not scared - as a matter of fact, why don't you up the ante a little bit, Steph? I got one for ya - why don't you make it a handicap match? Why don't you make it Chris Jericho and another World Wrestling Federation superstar against me next Monday night for the Undisputed World Wrestling Federation Championship?" "Well uh....that's fine with me, Hunter, but I mean, uh...who's dumber than they look now?" "Well, I don't know - considering the fact that the other WWF superstar will be you." "No - uh - no..." "And listen to this, Steph - if you lose - if I beat you - then you LEAVE the World Wrestling Federation. You see, I am SICK of looking at you. I am sick of your whiny little voice, I am sick of your bitch attitude...I want you out of my business, I want you out of my life." "Well Hunter that's too bad you're just gonna have to find another way. I refuse to get in that ring with you, after what you did to me. See, besides, I mean listen to all these people, they sing to me! You don't want to deprive the WWF fans of me (Stephanie McMahon)! These people rely and depend on me - millions of viewers tune in to see me EVERY WEEK OW" Crowd is once again singing the chorus of "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye." "Hold on now, hold on a second - hold on - maybe, maybe she's got a point here. Maybe, maybe people DO wanna see you - let's check with them. How many people here wanna see Stephanie McMahon STAY in the World Wrestling Federation? Now how many people here want to see Stephanie McMahon LEAVE the World Wrestling Federation?" "These people don't know anything, they don't know what they think, they don't know!" "Well...." Crowd sings again. "Hold on, hold on, hold on. It seems pretty simple then, Steph - they want it, and quite frankly, you don't really have a choice, because you see if you don't accept the match, then Chris Jericho can just wait until this draft goes through, and then he can just take his chances on whichever owner he ends up decides to hold his contract up and give him his title shot." "Okay, wait wait, just wait. Let me think about this for a second, okay?" "This should be difficult for you." "Shut up, Hunter! You know, I'm sick and tired of your chides and quibs (I think she meant "jibes and quips"), okay, you're on. One week from tonight in a handicap match - it'll be ME and Chris Jericho versus YOU for the Undisputed WWF Championship. And if you pin me, then I will leave the WWF. But I hope you know, Hunter, I hope you realise that Chris Jericho will once again be the Undisputed WWF Champion, and Chris Jericho will once again leave you A CRIPPLED MESS." "Steph...I hope you have a matching neckbrace for every outfit you have because after Monday night, you're gonna need one. Monday night on RAW, I will remain the World Wrestling Federation Undisputed Champion...and I will make you leave the WWF. Stephanie, Monday night, one more time, you get a chance to play The Game - and this time, if you lose - GAME OVER."

Hall & Nash are WALKING!

Time now for Sour Skittles to present one last WrestleMania Moment! From last night, Rock invites Hogan back into the ring to pose - mark my words, he'll regret doing that some day.

THE OATSIDERS (already in the ring) v. YOU KNOW WHO and THE ROCK - Somebody alert Mike Tenay because once again the Voodoo Chili is cooking up for Hogan's entrance - and Hogan's picked that air guitar back up and won't let go, brother. Hogan is STILL too big for chyron! Rock's entrance cuts Jimi off in mid-lyric, aw, shucks, and they're quickly into the ring to get it on. Hall stomps on Hogan while Rock punches Nash- then clotheslines him over - now Hogan starts the no-sell - right, right, right. Into the ropes, clothesline. Big "Hogan" chant. Scoops him up - and a slam. Hogan removes his 'do-rag and throws it in Hall's face - then rakes the boot on his face. Free shot for Nash. Hall's face to the buckle - climbs up for the Ten Punch Count Along - opting for the bite on Ten. THE BACK RAKE! Hall pinballs to Rock for a right, right from Hogan, right from Rock, right from Hogan puts him down. Rock and Hogan miss the tag - then get it on the second chance. Rock right, right, head to the buckle, free shot for Nash, spinebuster for Hall, elbowpad to the crowd - off one set of ropes, oops Nash tripped him up. Hall adds a clothesline (Ross: "Scintillating!"), then tags oat. Here comes Nash. Rock put into the ropes, caught...and the sidewalk slam. 1, 2, Rock kicks oat. Rock put in the corner, Nash knee, knee, kinee, right, right, right, back elbow, back elbow, frame, crotch chop, elbow. Nash puts the boot on the neck. Referee "Blind" Tim White has a discussion with Nash while Hall sneaks in an apron run clothesline. Tag. Hall stomps, right, stomp, picks up Rock and lands a discus right. Right hand puts Rock on the mat. Rock blocks the next one - right, right, right, off the ropes...but caught - and Hall hits the fallaway slam for 2. Tag to Nash, who Diesels over the top rope (Ross: "in great condition") and throws the right. It's not that his punches have suddenly gotten better this week more than the production team is doing a much better job making sure we don't see how far they are from actually connecting. Nash lays Rock on the middle rope, then Hall holds him to make sure Nash can hit a Bossman straddle. Tag. Hall stomps, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. In the unfriendly corner, tag, right, kick. Nash right, right, right, right, right - crowd starting a "Rock E" chant and here he comes - right, right, right, off the ropes...Nash catches him in a fireman's carry...wants Snake Eyes but Rock frees himself - ROCK BOTTOM! But that took a lot oat of him...both men are down. White's count is up to four and Hogan REALLY wants that tag - after the count of seven, Hall gets the tag - and so does Hogan! Hogan comes in doing his "jackhammer" dance - block, right, right, right, picks him up, right, right for Nash as he comes in, right for Hall, right, Rock back up to punch Nash, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT puts Nash over the top rope (amazingly, Nash goes over correctly) while Hogan puts Hall down with the big boot off the ropes. Off the ropes - drops the leg! 1, 2, Nash pulls Hall oat of the ring. They're up the ring - Rock and Hogan are content to stand in the ring and stare at them rather than follow and continue....so it should come as NO shock that White actually makes it to 10. (COR 6:09) Well THAT'S what you get for not booking Earl Hebner in Montreal! White raises Rock and Hogan's arms as the Raw Zone credits appear on screen. We're oat.

AFTER THE FACT: Llakor checks in: Hi Chris,

As you know, I was at WM and as you might guess I was at RAW! I wrote a WWWM column on the plane to Toronto (about the tag-ropes) that I intend to type up tomorrow night so that you'll have it for Wednesday. I'll try to write up my full impressions of Fan Access, WM & Raw for you for Thursday or Friday.

But some quick stuff first:

If anyone says that the Hogan chants at WM were canned, slap em for me will ya. I was there and we blew the roof off the place. I think that in losing Hogan became even more of a face than he ever was back in the day. I have a theory about that (don't I always?) It seems to me that the basis of Hogan's character was always that he needed help to win. He neededour help to beat the Iron Sheik, he needed the help of 93, 000 of us to body-slam Andre, and when he turned on the fans (or the fans turned on him) he needed the help of the NWO as demonstrated most dramatically by the finger-poke of doom match. I think that that match and the one against Jeff Jarrett ruined Hogan. After those matches any victory by Hogan was suspect. The only way to restore his credibilty was for him to lose and lose cleanly. I think all of us at the Skydome knew that instinctively, and I think we all knew that he was going to lose, but because we knew that Hogan had won so many matches with us behind him, we believed that if we cheered hard enough we could turn the tables on Rock and help Hogan win. It didn't happen but I think we came as close as any crowd ever has to reverse an ending & I think that it made the final outcome that much better.

Stuff from RAW:

Dark/Metal/Jakked matches

They played the WWF desire video with the Montreal stuff (the spit, Bret spelling WCW.) awfully ballsy of them, I thought.
They announced that Smackdown would take place in Montreal the 14th of May. (At WM they announced that they are doing RAW in Toronto on the 13th of May.)

Randy Orton pinned Justin Credible with a flying body press.
Billy Kidman & Tommy Dreamer pinned two jobbers
Val Venis pinned Lance Storm with what I can only describe as a "Dick to the face cover"
APA beat Big Boss Man & Mr. Perfect. Farooq pinned Big Boss Man with his sit-out power bomb.
Test pinned Tajiri with the Whitby Boot of Death in a match that was bringing the goodness with the kicking and the kicking and the kicking and the umm... kicking. Tajiri had his belt (and Torrie!)
Scooty 2 Hotty & Albert beat Funaki & Crash. Albert pinned Funaki with a Hippo splash.

Off-Air (?) RAW stuff