It's important to note that the "E" puts the Emphasis on
*Entertainment* - according to the folks at SoundScan, the Neurotica CD -
the first non-WWF-affiliated CD out on SmackDown! Records, the CD that has
been given oodles of hype on WWE programming, the CD that included the
"official theme song" of King of the Ring - THAT CD - out two weeks
already... has sold... a *staggering*...... 2,760 units.
Guys, they haven't even managed to push three thousand CDs out the door despite playing that song to death and giving them prime ad space during the shows. Now, whether this says more about the musical taste of our nation, or the music business in general, I don't know BUT I think has to go down as another mark in the column under "gee, maybe the WWE folks really don't have their finger on the pulse after all, especially given the fact that they can't even seem to maintain consistent levels *in the areas of their core competency* fnar fnar &c." I mean, we got the record company, the restaurant, the football league...do they still want to make movies?
Now, Neurotica ARE on the Ozzfest tour so perhaps the sales will pick up just like the magic happened last year with....ummm, whoever did "Bodies." Damn, I feel bad I can't even remember who did that and it was ONLY a year ago.
(It was Drowning Pool.)
QUICK QUOTE: WWE 10.98 (-2.11) - wait, maybe they ARE catching on? Last year: 14.10, two years ago: 21 1/8 They tested all-time lows today - I don't have to tell you that's "not good"
TONIGHT: They'll never say "East Rutherford" I bet! Rob van Dam & Ric Flair team up to take on Brock Lesnar & The Undertaker! Can you say PAREJAS INCREIBLE? That's 'cause in thirteen minutes, I'd rather be watching LUCHA LIBRE HIYO
TV-14-DLV - CC - Attitude - Entertainment - WW!
Taker! Stares at! Paul Heyman! Who stares at! The Belt! "I'm really not feeling all that well tonight. You know, Rob van Dam hit me with that Van Terminator last week, but...I had to come here tonight to let you know that tonight's main event was all my idea." "All your idea." "Yes sir - The Undertaker, teaming for the very first time with the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar...against Nature Boy Ric Flair and Rob van Dam. Andand and Brock wanted me to come here and let you know that it's such a great honour, just to team with you, the Phenom, the Dead Man, the Undertaker tonight, and Brock also wants you to know, sir, that he hopes that you retain the Undisputed title this Sunday at Vengeance, because there'll be no privlige in Brock Lesnar's life than to face you at SummerSlam for the Undisputed--" "Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa. Now you got Brock Lesnar's best interests in mind, I'm sure." "Oh, of COURSE I do--" "Ah ah - I'm talkin'. You two need to think about this. You better HOPE that Sunday at Vengeance that I lose." "...the title?" "Yeah, lose the title. You see, I've made a career out o' takin' the next big thing and makin' 'em famous, and I make 'em famous by makin' 'em disappear." "We're getting so far ahead of ourselves talking about SummerSlam...let's just concentrate on the match tonight, you and Brock against Flair and van Dam and thank you so much--" Taker pulls his hand away from the handshake attempt. "Don't EVER touch me again." Heyman heads out in rapid fashion.
Opening Credits - they refuse to see the change in me, WHY WON'T THEY WAKE UP
DROOPYRO! Coming to you LIVE from the Continental Airlines Arena in E. Rutherford, NJ 15.7.2 and six days away from Vengeance, transmitido en espanol SAP on the New TNN and TSN!
TONIGHT: Rob van Dam & Ric Flair team to take on Brock Lesnar & The Undertaker! WHY? LATER
But first, "Theme from NWO" leads out the...no, that's BILLIONAIRE VINCE coming out to the epileptic seizure inducing lighting treatment. I guess he's about to inject that poison for the last time? "Well, I'm quite sure you're all wondering why did Mr. McMahon come out here to the NWO Music. Thanks for that warm New Jersey welcome, by the way. Well, you see, the reason I walked out here to NWO is because I thought maybe you would want to hear it one last time. And you just did. You heard the NWO music for the very last time. See, because there is no more NWO - the NWO is now history. The NWO era is now history - no different than many of the other preceding eras here in World Wrestling Entertainment. We started out, of course, with the Buddy Rogers era...following that, we went to the Bruno Sammartino era - that was followed by the Pedro Morales era, going into the Superstar Billy Graham era - after that we hit upon something known as the Hulk Hogan era." What, screw Bob Backlund? "After that was the Ultimate Warrior era. And then after that was the Bret 'the Hitman' Hart era! And most recently, the Stone Cold Steve Austin era. See, all these eras made their mark but during each and every one of these eras, we (World Wrestling Entertainment) changed with the times. So too we must change now. You see, not long ago some..." Crowd gives up chanting "What?" to chant "Asshole" - gee, they're REALLY into this speech, aren't they? "All I ask for is just one little bit of respect - just one little bit! This very program (RAW) was born some ten years ago, right across the Hudson river in downtown New York City at the Manhattan Center. And soon, believe it or not, we will celebrate our 500th edition of RAW. But now, it's time for RAW to be yet reborn again! It's time to SHAKE up RAW! Time to shake up SmackDown! Time to shake up the entire World Wrestling Entertainment brand...and by God, the shakeup begins right here tonight! I've hired two new general managers - one general manager for RAW, another general manager for SmackDown! These two general mangers will have complete authority and responsibility over their respective brands, and most importantly will have my unqualified support in their endeavours. And right here tonight...within the next hour, I will name the new general manager of RAW. A general manager who will be firm, but fair. A general manager who won't back down from adversity. A general manager who will take RAW to higher ground! Yes, tonight, right here..." Crowd, who is clearly into this whole thing, returns to "Asshole!" chant. "Disrespect me if you will, do NOT disrespect this new general manager. I'll tell you why - because THIS new general manager will give each and every one of you WWE fans what you truly want - and take my word for it - this new general manager, announced in this ring, will give each and every one of you what you truly deserve. I thank you very much!"
The entire locker room is assembled around a monitor backstage. Everybody shows general consternation. Hey, what the heck is Fit Finlay doing there? This ain't SmackDown!
Catch the blue crew tomorrow in Wilkes-Barre, Sunday in Detroit for Vengeance, a week from tonight in Flint, the next night in Indy, a week from Saturday at Arkansas State, and Sunday in Little Rock!
Check out the New York skyline 'cause we wish we were THERE instead of HERE
Terri stands backstage with Ric Flair. What's his reaction to Vince's bombshell? "Terri, I have no idea who the new GM is, I don't want to speculate at this point, I'll just tell you this: running this company, or managing this company is a thankless job and I don't know anyone who can possibly do it whose last name is not McMahon. That's it."
JEFF HARDY (European champion -
Cameron, North Carolina - 218 pounds -
with Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) and BUBBA RAY & SPIKE DUDLEY
(Dudleyville - 475 pounds - with Vengeance graphic) v. WILLIAM REGAL
(Blackpool, England - 240 pounds) and CHRIS BENOIT & EDDIE GUERRERO (457
pounds) in an elimination six man tag
Coming back live two and a half later, we are told that Guerrero and Benoit have pretty much been in control the entire break. It's Guerrero in now - stomp - tag to Benoit. Right, elbow, elbow, Benoit takes over with a whip and a back elbow. Headbutt. Scoop...and a slam. Tag to Guerrero - Hardy evades the slingshot senton, but Guerrero rolls through. Double leg takeown - split legged legdrop cover - 1, 2, 3! (11:38) Benoit doesn't want any more surprises and takes control with a stomp - Guerrero joins him for a doubleteam despite being eliminated. In the corner, more doubleteaming with the punching and the kicking. Into the opposite corner - do si do whip of Benoit is ducked and Hardy follows through with a viscera for Guerrero! But Benoit is back with a German suplex. Benoit with a short clothesline. 1, 2, no. Guerrero is lingering on the aisle. Chop. Ross actually reminds us Hardy actually touched the Undisputed title on that ladder just a few weeks ago. Head to the buckle. Into the opposite corner, Hardy stairsteps up and springs off with a corkscrew moonsault! Hebner starts the count...not Guerrero is back - Hebner heads him off, then goes outside to actually shove him back up the ramp - meanwhile, *Regal* has reappeared, knux in hand...and down goes Hardy. Hebner back in and both men are still down - but now Regal applies the Crippler crossface! Hebner drops the arm once, (oops we saw Hardy's lips moving) twice, three times. See ya. Benoit is the sole survivor. (14:02) Guerrero BACK out - Eddie, get the table. Benoit and Guerrero set up the table and take a rather lengthy time in doing so. But back come the Dudleys - so Guerrero and Benoit hightail it. Play *their* music! Replay of Regal's punch.
Backstage, JONATHAN COACHMAN stands outside an *exciting* door! Who could the GM be? Mick Foley? Vince McMahon's brother Rob in Texas? (Umm, who?) Paul Heyman walks by. Hey, what's he doing here? "Well, Vince wanted to see me. How is that any of your business?" Coach brings up his history running ECW. Let me check my calendar - ECW's been bankrupt... almost a year and a half - okay. "Well, I guess I'm about to find out, Coach, and let's be honest with each other: who's more eminently qualified to be the general manager of RAW? Who's more qualified than Paul Heyman, huh? Think about it." Paul opens the door and we see Vince's back. Coach says he'll wait until Heyman comes out and see if he can find out - but then, we see a floor director rush into the office - the camera follows. "Excuse me, Mr. McMahon?" "Calm down - calm down, what is it?" "You told me to interrupt you the second he arrived, and..." "'HE?'" "Yes - the new general manager - he's arrived." "The new general manager's here." "Yes, Mr. McMahon." "Well would you be so kind as to bring the new GM here to my office for me? This is going to be a momentous occasion. Would you excuse me, please?" "That's it." "Excuse me, please." "It was nice seein' ya." "Thank you." Vince takes a deep breath and gulps. Well, they've eliminated practically everybody, right? It can only be one person, folks - that's right...SAVIO VEGA
Ivory's artificial cleavage shills Stacker 2
Time to register for the live webcast of Vengeance!
"Come in!" "Excuse me, Mr. McMahon - the new general manager's here." Hey how come that girl knows who it is but nobody else does? "Well, please, invite the new general manager to my office." Vince's smile turns to shock - it's Shane. "What the hell are you doin' here? You're not my new general manager." "No I'm not your new general manager. I'm here to prevent you from making the single biggest mistake in the history of our family's business. This goes all the way back to your father, and to your *grandfather.*" "Now wait a minute - spare me, okay? YOU, my son, you tried to put me out of business - yet all of a sudden you have this family concern?" "Oh, at least it was family - when it was you and I battling for control of this company, at least you knew who you were dealing with. Your new choice for 'general manager' - and oh yes, I do know who it is - this guy is nothing more than a parasite! He is a parasite. And the first chance that this guy gets, he's gonna screw you, this company, and our family over royally." "Well, let me just say that I appreciate your concern - I'm not gonna change my mind, it's my decision to make." "It is your decision - one that affects YOU...and everybody else." Then he walks away.
Meanwhile, in the locker room, Tommy Dreamer walks by Goldust and ends up next to Rob van Dam. "Hey hey, what up, Tommy." "Hey Rob. Hey what do you think of all this GM stuff, huh?" "Yeah, I know - huge news, right? Well, I don't know who it is, but I'm glad it's NOT Paul Heyman." "Me too. Speaking of our good friend Paul Heyman, I gotta ask ya - how did it feel when you hit him with the Van Terminator last week? I mean, you jumped from one side of the ring complete to the other. Amazing, bro." Hmm, that's the second guy to call it the Van Terminator despite the fact that Jim Ross never called it that LAST week. "Yeah, I did - hey, how do you think it felt? Hey - but Tommy, you know more than anybody else - Paul had that comin' for years." "You think?" "I just can't wait to give similar treatment to Brock Lesnar...whether it be tonight, or at Vengeance. Speaking of tonight, I gotta go get ready." "All right man." 'Catch you later." "Go get 'em." Say, is van Dam taking on Lesnar or Heyman on Sunday? I mean, I get confused sometimes. Is Paul Heyman the new Poochie? We're not done here! Steven Richards appears. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the guardian of all that's ECW, Tommy Dreamer." "What do you want, Stevie..." "Oh nothing, Tommy - I just wanna come out here and gra- congratulate you for standing up to Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar, defending all the old ECW guys - it was very noble." "Thanks." "Yeah - but deep down inside, I know it was a load of crap. You did it for yourself, Tommy - you did it to get noticed. And since there's a new GM tonight on RAW, why don't we make our match a little bit more noticable?" "What are you thinkin' about?" "Well, you seemed to be real handy with the Singapore cane last week - so why don't we make our match tonight...a Singapore cane match. No rules - just brutality. You whip out your stick, I whip out mine. What do you say?" Goldust happens into the frame. "I say it's an offer too good to be true. (Inhales, bites)" Richards and Dreamer crack up to let us know how funny that was. "Well?" "You got it, bro." "Great." Richards tosses a stick to Dreamer, and when he reaches up for it, Richards gives him a shot in his side. "I'll show you!" He runs off while Richards holds his ribs...
In the local slot, the Law Offices of Patrick McMahon make another appearance - that's always a hoot
There's The World! They'll show Vengeance there for money!
STEVEN RICHARDS (Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania - 235 pounds) v. TOMMY DREAMER
(Yonkers, New York - 252 pounds) in a Singapore cane
Backstage, Coach catches up with Booker T. He's got a match with The Big Show. "Coach! When Shawn Michaels came back, he put one right there, dawg - right on my grill! NWO, they just stood there, celebrating. BOOYA! One month later, NWO - dead and buried. Hoffa style, baby! You know what I feel? I fell like celebratin'. You feel like celebratin' with me, dawg?" "Well, you know, normally I--" "You damn skippy, hippie! You know what, why don't you give me one o' them Coacharoonies." "Well, Booker, you know, I don't think this is the time, or the - or the--" T takes the mic from him. "It's like that, huh, dawg? Oh, The Rock is the only one who can mess with announcers around here, right? NEWS FLASH! The Rock is on another program...so let's make with the spinning, Jack! Let's do it!" Coach consults his hand - drops down - and spins very poorly. T calls him closer. "What the hell was dat? You sure you black, dog?" That would have been a good line but Lawler snuck in "Is Coach Caucasian?" five seconds earlier - damn racist. "Listen up, man - the fact of the matter is this - Big Show, I'm 'bout to come out here and pull an Allen Ivereson on your punk ass! And show you why you don't put your hands on the five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time WCW Champion - now can you dig that..." We zoom in on T doing a doubletake...then zoom out to see...........Eric Bischoff. He forces a handshake. "It's good to see ya. It's so good to see you again, my friend!" He walks off. "TELL ME I didn't just see that!"
When we come back, Vince walks back out without music and stands at the top of the stage. I sure hope that's another swerve! Crowd is silent. "You know, you don't realise this but it takes a real son of a bitch to be successful in this business. So from one son of a bitch to another, allow me to introduce you to the new general manager of RAW - his name is ERIC BISCHOFF!" Out comes Bischoff to "Back in Black" - he hasn't missed too many meals, if you catch my drift. Big hugs all around (Ross: "They're probably pickin' each other's pockets") - a handshake - and Vince raises his arms high. Vince hands the mic to Bischoff and lets him walk alone to the ring. Bring up the RAW credits, Transmitido En Espanol SAP, TV-14-DLV, CC, boy, Bischoff is CHUNKY. Can "NWO Late Night" be far behind? "For those of you who may not know me...my name is Eric Bischoff, and I used to run WCW. Not that watered-down version, by the way, that invaded this company...but the real deal. You see, when I ran WCW, I became famous. That's right. I was the only person EVER able to take it right to Vince McMahon. That would be me. In fact, when Vince was out here a couple weeks ago talking about ruthless aggression...just who the hell do you think he was talking about? That, of course, would be me - I've personified ruthless aggression. When Vince McMahon needed star power, I was ruthless. Hell, I signed everybody he had! Hulk Hogan - Randy Savage - Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Roddy Piper, it went on and on and on, hell - I was like a kid in a candy store! I signed Bobby the Brain Heenan and Mean Gene Okerlund...just for the hell of it! Just because I could. But what I really did...is I took this little family business, this McMahon monopoly, and I gave it one big swift kick in the crotch. And it was sweet. In fact, while Vince McMahon was on trial with the federal government, he took his eye off the ball - and I raided his company dry. And for all of you people who say the only reason I was successful is because I had Ted Turner's money, I've got news for each and every one of you - I was successful because I was innovative. In fact, I was cutting edge, remember - remember back when RAW was taped every other week and Nitro was live, and I decided to go on the air two minutes before RAW, and I gave away everything that happened on RAW so YOU people didn't have to watch it? Oo! DAMN! That was ruthless. And it was a little aggressive, but it worked. And how about Alundra Blayze, you remember her? Vince's Woman's World Champion, I signed her away and I said 'hey, Alundra, bring your belt to Nitro,' she didn't really want to, but I made her, 'cause...she worked for me. And I had her go out on national television and throw it in the trash! Hahaha...that one killed me, it was a little ruthless, it was a little aggressive, but it worked. But you know what the important thing was? Is I forced Vince McMahon to change the way he did television. *I* did. Because in Nitro, I gave away a competitive main event every week with big stars! Hell, WCW Nitro changed the face of sports entertainment forever! And I singlehandedly forced Vince McMahon to change the way HE did business so HE could keep up with ME. It was beautiful. Hey, remember when I created the NWO? Cutting edge! Ruthless! Aggressive! Not some stale retread." Speaking of stale retreads... "Nitro beat RAW EIGHTY-FOUR WEEKS IN A ROW. Eighty-four weeks in a row, and I came THIS close - can you see it? THIS close to putting this company out of business forever. Singlehandedly! So naturally, I was a little surprised when my phone rang...and on the other end was none other than Vince McMahon, and he said 'hey Eric, whaddaya think about becoming the general manager of RAW?' Well I gotta tell ya, I was surprised. I was DAMN surprised. But then the more I thought about it, the more sense it made to me - because you see if there's one person - ONE person who can take this...struggling franchise, and turn it into a national media powerhouse! Well...that would be...ME. And it's gonna start right here on RAW, and we're gonna kick it off this Sunday at Vengeance. Because there was one thing that I really wanted to do when I was running WCW, never got the job done, one piece of talent that I could never sign away. Just one. And I'm absolutely convinced - absolutely convinced that if I would have been able to sign him that right now, today, Nitro would be on the air, and Vince McMahon, my new best friend, with all due respect, would be working for me. But that's okay. Because it's not gonna be the NWO that signs Triple H - uh uh - that would be me. And for all of the rest of you in the back - some of you I've had a chance to work with, some of you I'm meeting for the very first time - one thing I'm sure you'll all agree on is that people generally like working for me - it's really not about the money - truly, it's not. People are drawn to winners - you people are drawn to winners - Mr. McMahon was drawn to a winner, which is why he hired me. Let's face it: the WWE *needs* me - you people DESERVE me - and there's one thing I wanna promise each and every one of you people. I am here to put the 'E' in WWE." How apropos. Go back and watch Bischoff's hands shake during this. Maybe he remembers that the same guy who turned that "struggling franchise into a national media powerhouse" ALSO happeend to be the same guy that turned it right back around into the lifeless husk that Vince scooped up. Of course, that conflicts with the fact that Bischoff kept bringing up things that happened seven years ago and presumably expected the live audience to have any GLIMMER of remembering what he was talking about. Bottom line is this is incredibly fucking depressing. What happened to you, WWF? You used to be cool.
Backstage we go to survey the aseembled masses - everybody seems pretty unhappy except Big Show, who can't hide his grin. Flair's expression most resembles mine, I think.
Vengeance ad - triple threat for the Undisputed title hyped
Stacker 2 ad #2
Local drop-in for Vengeance
Watch the RAW crew (damn, they STILL have that shot of Flair raising Big Show's hand) when they appear Saturday in Sarnia, Sunday in Detroit for Vengeance, RAW in Grand Rapids, Friday in Houston, Saturday in San Antonio, and Sunday in Columbia!)
We fade in just early enough to hear Undertaker call Bischoff a jackoff. Bradshaw: "Dear God! He can't be worse that Vince McMahon, can he? Can he?" "Well, I don't know if anybody--" "Undertaker - Undertaker!" Hey we're in "Eric in every segment" mode now. "You're the guy, I've been dying to meet you. I just want you to know I've been following your career for so long...you're the one guy I REALLY was hoping I could get to come to WCW, but I guess loyalty meant more to you than money, but hey, that's neither here nor there. I just want you to know that if there's anything you ever need - anything at all, you--" Bradshaw interrupts: "Hi." "How you doin." "Bradshaw." "Good to meet you." "Hardcore champion." "Good to meet you. Good luck in your match tonight." "Pleasure to meet you." "Good - good to meet you, too. Good to meet you, too." He pushes him aside to keep his eyes on Taker. "Anything at all you ever need, you call me. I'm there for you. You're the man." And off he walks. "What the HELL is he thinkin'."
- Toronto, Ontario - with Your hosts are LARRY &
JERRY) v. MOLLY HOLLY (champion - Mobile,
Ric Flair is WALKING! up to Eric Bischoff, it turns out. "Ric Flair. I gotta tell you, it is so good to see you again. Listen, I know you and I - we've had a lot of history - lotta history, not all of it's been good, but let's do something - let's leave it in the past where it belongs, WWE - man this is a whole new start for both of us. Think about it. Talk about, think about it, man I bet you were surprised as hell when you found out that I was gonna be the new general manager for RAW, huh?" Flair deadpans, "Surprised isn't the word I was thinkin' of. But if you don't mind, I got a big match comin' up." And he walks off, leaving Bischoff to make a GLARE... oh boy, I think I heard somebody say "we're out!" WCW IS BACK, BABY!
UP NEXT: Booker T vs. Big Show!
"Coming in 10 days to SmackDown!" Man, I hope that new RAW GM *immediately* puts a ban on ads for the other brand! Of course, why bother with making sense or anything?
And now, the Extreme Blast of the Night, rocked by JVC's Tower of Power! From RAW last week, Booker T takes the wrong side of the last NWO victory
BOOKER T (Houston, Texas - 256 pounds -
with RAW is brought to you LIVE by
1-800-CAL-LATT, Snickers, and Castrol Motor Oily!) v. WELL IT'S THE BIG
SHOW (Tampa, Florida - 500 pounds - with SmackDown! in
Meanwhile, backstage, Brock Lesnar curls an insanely large piece of the set. Here comes Paul. "Well, they say anything can happen in the WWE. Eric Bischoff! Do you realise now what position you're in, Brock? You're going to be the intercontinental champion Sunday at Vengeance. You are going to be the Undisputed WWE champion at SummerSlam! I couldn't have manipulated us into a better negotiating position than this!" "You talk to Taker?" "Ho ho, did I talk to Taker? He bought everything I have to say hook line and sing-- 'Oh, oh, Brock Lesnar RESPECTS The Undertaker! Brock Lesnar ADMIRES The Undertaker! Blah blah blah blah blah.' (Presumably something in Yiddish) Brock, Taker has no idea why he's teaming with you tonight. He has no idea that as long as Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker are together tonight, there'll be nothing left of Rob van Dam at Vengeance." "That's what I pay ya for, Paul." Lesnar tosses aside the scaffolding as Heyman tells no one in particular that he loves his job. Off they go... Jesus, it's a good thing The Undertaker doesn't watch the television, isn't it? I mean, and he probably didn't even tape this show to watch later, so he'll probably never EVER see this, right? RIGHT? HA
Our hosts show off their broken table, then give tribute to the late Jimmy Miranda, manager of arena merchandise sales.
WWE HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: CHRISTOPHER
NOWINSKI (challenger - Harvard -
260 pounds - with Ozzfest hype - meet Billy Kidman & Torrie Wilson!) v.
BRADSHAW (chamipon - Sweetwater, Tejas - 292
It's been, gosh, twenty minutes since we've seen Eric Bischoff, so let's check on him. Big Show pays him a visit. He calls him "Eazy" while Eric calls him "Giant." Big sweaty hug. Show asks for a favour - he'd like a match with Booker T at Vengeance, no countouts, no disqualifications. Show neglects to mention that he actually LOST in that countout. After hemming and hawing, Bischoff says they're "kinda like blood" and makes the match. Another big sweaty hug. After Show leaves, Bischoff fondles his copy of the Triple H DVD...and presses pause a few times.
The official theme song of Vengeance is Trust Company's "Downfall" - man, I bet that gives them AT LEAST an additional 1,500 buys! (Either that or the fact that CDNow has already discounted it down to $9 new)
Johnny Stamboli is in Eric's Romper Room when we return. "Did you see it - it was BEYOOTIFUL! I whacked Bradshaw over the head with that 2x4 - forget about it! I pinned him 1, 2, 3! Now, I wanna like to c... thank you for lettin' me compete on RAW tonight." "Hey - I didn't do anything for you, man. Everything you did, you did on your own. YOU, you did it, not me - all I did was give you the opportunity. And you took it from there. And I'll give that same opportunity to any other s- young superstar here on RAW. It's all about you. And hey, Johnny - welcome to RAW." "Thank you." At this point, Bradshaw flies in with the Hades lariat and Charles Robinson right behind - 1, 2, 3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have the same old hardcore champion. (6:40) "Welcome to RAW - ya punk ass. That's Bradshaw. Hardcore. Champion." Off he goes.
Meanwhile, Paul wants to talk some more tonight. "I know - I know what you're feeling, the anticipation is better than sex - six days away from becoming the intercontinental champion; then at SummerSlam, you become the Undisputed Champion - this is the summer of the Next Big Thing..." He trails off as Undertaker arrives - Lesnar turns to face him and they have the staredown - Lesnar again fails to say "I will break you." Heyman's head appears on our screen between them. "Once again, Undertaker, on behalf of my client, it is an honour and a privlige--" "PAUL! ...after you." "No no no no, I insist. After you." Lesnar and Heyman take off - with Taker right behind. You know, Heyman must have been bluffing about still feeling that Van Terminator because he seems to have been pretty much the same as he ever was alllllll night...
Vengeance spot #2
"WrestleMania X8" for the GameCube ad
IT'S the WWE Burn of the Night, brought to you by Stacker 2 - last week's Van Terminator
KING BROCK LESNAR (Minneapolis,
Minnesota - 295 pounds - with Paul Heyman
- and Let Us Take You Back to Last Week) and THE
(Undisputed champion - Houston, Texas -
305 pounds - with Subway presents
Vengeance!) v. RIC FLAIR (Charlotte, North Carolina - 234 pounds - with
RAW in The G.R. hype) and ROB VAN DAM (intercontinental champion - Battle
Creek, Michigan - 235 pounds)
But now, to Eric for one more bit of Ericness. Cel phone dialed. "Hello - uhh, say, this is Eric Bischoff calling, and I would really rather have this conversation in person but unfortunately, I have to leave a message. Listen, Rock.... you know, I don't know if you were watching RAW, hopefully you were but if you haven't, or you haven't heard, Vince McMahon has made me the new general manager for RAW. And I just want you to know right off the bat, you know, I'm horrible at leaving messages so I'm gonna keep this really short...but Rock, I am a *huge* fan - I mean a HUGE fan...and I really believe that RAW...needs The Rock. Listen, like I said, I hate - I hate leaving messages, so I'm really looking forward to talking to you Thursday at SmackDown! Maybe we can get some business done. See ya there." Well, he's right about one thing - he's HUGE. Bischoff goes into full smarm as we take the RAW Zone credits - WW logo - good night.
Funny! The TNN bumper asks "Are you oblivious? Find out this August!" I think we've found out ALREADY, gang.