It's WWF RAW, coming to you on 23.5.98, Memorial Day (observed) (in the US) but taped 17.5, from Chattanooga, Tennessee and rated TV-PG-V.

Your hosts are Jim Ross and Michael Cole.

MR. McMAHON, flanked by the Yes Men and three cops, starts us off with a bang - I mean, with TALKING. "What a glorious night last Monday night was! Last Monday night on RAW not only did Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson come out of retirement for one more action-packed match, but indeed (as we see clips of last week) they gave Stone Cold Steve Austin all he could handle. Congratulations. (handshakes all around) It's fair to say, that Patterson and Brisco, with an honorable mention to Commissioner Slaughter (clip of Slaughter "helping" as special guest referee), tamed the rattlesnake last week, however it was one individual and only one individual - me - that person who drained the venom from the rattlesnake's posionous head. What'd you think, Austin when the fan jumped the rail with the Austin T-shirt, the Austin mask, did you think he was going to help you? I helped you all right...it felt so good when I took that chair and hit Austin squarely in the back. I *assaulted* Stone Cold Steve Austin and got away with it. It was indeed a very special night for me and my associates, however it will pale in comparsion to the glory and the honor that we'll get this Sunday when the WWF goes *Over the Edge.* You, Mr. Brisco, will have to honor of rinigng the bell signifying the end of the match - you, Mr. Patterson will have the honor to announce the new World Wrestling Federation champion, and by my hand, as the guest referee, I will have the privilege of counting 1, 2, 3. It will be the dawning of a new era in the World Wrestling Federation, but more importantly, the demise of Stone Cold Steve Austin - I thank you very much!"

I hear glass, must be time for a counterpoint. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN walks to the ring and climbs the ropes to the undying adulation of the fans. "I hope you're proud of yourself because what you've done is proved without a shadow of a doubt, you are the world's dumbest sonuvabitch!" - McMahon glowers - "Officers, he just told the world, step back jackass (to Patterson), he just told the world that he assaulted Stone Cold Steve Austin - that's exactly what you said, so since I was assaulted, I want you to do your job and arrest that piece of trash right now." "Figure of speech - I'm Vince McMahon!" And sure enough the cops arrest him. Austin encourages the officers to frisk him, too. "Knock him out if you have to - How you like that hotshot? You think you're so damn special, don'cha. I'm not a lawyer but if you ask me, wouoldn't that be obstruction of justice?" And sure enough, Brisco and Patterson ALSO get arrested for trying to interfere with McMahon's arrest. And then to add insult to injury, he gives McMahon a gut shot, and when Vince doubles over, Austin pours a beer on him. Lite beer? I run the wrestling world and you dunk me in Lite beer? Needless to say, McMahon is livid.

WWF Over the Edge is THIS SUNDAY! and rated TV-14 because I know you're dying to know.

Let us take you back to "Moments Ago" where McMahon is arrested and beer poured on him. I guess pouring beer on a guy is ... ok?

THE DISCIPLES OF APOCALYPSE (with Those Beautiful Titan Bikes) v. LOD TWO THOUSAND (without Sunny) - since this match is happening Sunday at the PPV, why bother? Anyway, we learn that the third man in this tag match is Darren Drozdov, aka PUKE. Before he can - er - hurl - on one of those beautiful Titan bikes, Chainz takes him out with a double sledge and the 6-man tag begins. Puke actually looks ok in this outing, but what this really comes down to is that this is another DOA/LOD match and I won't provide details, nope, I won't, I won't. Suffice to say all hell breaks loose, all six men go at it, but with Puke and Chainz left in the ring, Puke hits what looks like an old Pearl River Plunge but I'm sure it will have a different name. 1, 2, 3 (4:05) - they're still fighting, yippee! This feud will NEVER end. Well, maybe Sunday. But I doubt it.

Backstage, Austin directs the cops to put the three Musketeers in a squad car, and it looks like they're going to comply. Vince is still giving the "Don't you know who I am? I'm Vince McMahon!" line.

Wanna Raise SOME HELL? Buy the shirt!

They're being put in the cop car when we come back - Austin still directing.

OWEN HART v. THE BEAST DAN SEVERN - clips from a RAW from last month show Owen snapping Shamrock's ankle with the Pillmanizer "ankle in the chair" manoeuvre - another clip from two weeks ago at a signature appearance shows Ken Shamrock with a huge cast on his ankle. Severn comes to the ring wearing the NWA belt (which no one mentions) and with a special little case for his mouthpiece. Severn with the fireman's carry takedown, another, and an armbar attempt. Hart with kicks but Severn with a takedown and choke. Severn with a cradle for 2 but Owen punches out. To the outside and Hart stays on him. Kick to the gut by Hart. Hart throws him back in and delivers the European forearm. Hart with gutwrench suplex. To the corner, Hart with the head to the gut. Open faced slaps by Hart, Severn's had enough, he reverses and works over Hart. While referee "Blind" Jim Kordera (I think I've FINALLY got that spelling right - thanks to Herb posting a newspaper article which quotes him in his TidBits report) is distracted, Hart hits a Golotta kick. Severn absorbs this punishment and takes over. Big slam and armbar attempt - just when Owen should tap out, the Nation makes their appearance for the DQ (3:15) Eventually the five of them manage to get control. (Ha!) A bevy of WWF officials prevent Owen from repeating his Pillmanizing of Severn's ankle as he did to Shamrock. Well, at least Owen didn't bite any ears this week. I should probably also mention that Cole finally got around to giving us the backstory on Hart joining the Nation - and yes, it does pretty much revolve around his post-match interview at the last PPV.

Stone Cold will again appear on MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch this Thursday. Yeah, but isn't it on during THUNDER! ?

We see the cop car full of Musketeers again. Mr. McMahon is practically frothing at the mouth like a rabid dog.

EDGE promo. He looks like he needs a hug.

JACKYL leads Hank, the Angry, Drunken Dwarf and Crackhead Bob to the ring - this can only end in tears. The Howard Stern connection is emphasized, when what they SHOULD play up is that their guy (Hank) beat the other guy (Flair) in the People's Poll. Anyway, Jackyl introduces his friends to the audience - and DOES play up the People poll win for Hank. Hank says a lot of bleepable stuff so I have no idea what he said, but I think the gist is he doesn't like that Internet thing. Turning to Bob, Jackyl asks him to quote "Network" and he complies. The Jackyl's "parade of human oddities" continues with Princess Luna (yeah!), Golga (John Tenta in a mask), and a great big guy whose name gets edited out of the broadcast.

THRASHER (with Mosh) v. GOLGA - Mosh tries to take a swing at Hank - funny. Oops, sorry, I'm taking delight in other's misfortune, aren't I. Bad Christopher. Jackyl delivers Crackhead Bob to the commentary table. What follows is a totally uneventful match which sees Thrasher dominate until Golga hits a power move - repeat until consciousness is lost. Jackyl does a stellar job at weaving storytelling into his commentary, as always, but nothing worth quoting here - just lots of, for lack of a better word, "Koreshisms." I'll come up with a better word later, I promise, Jackyl. Golga's finisher is a powerslam (2:55) - I guess that big guy's name is "The Largest Man in the World." He demolishes Mosh with a headbutt post-match. Hank takes a headset just after the match and says - nothing. Well, this whole thing just kind of...well. Just for grins, we cut to a shot of Al Snow and the Head, who are wearing JR style hats and sneaking around the crowd.

We see another shot of Austin, the cops, the cop car, McMahon, and they're coasting, baby.

The Super Soaker Rewind is last week's War Zone clip of the announcement that Paul Bearer IS Kane's father.

WWF RAW is brought to you by Twix, Castrol GTX, WWF The Music Volume 2 (get it at Blockbuster Music) and the Super Soaker Constrant Pressure System.

JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (with Tedoublenedoublesdoublee Ldoublee but without blinking outfit) v. (the man they call) VADER - Jarrett takes on the Lethal Weapon Steve Blackman Sunday, while Vader draws Kane in a "loser unmasks" match. As we take an ad break following the introductions, JR screams about something going on in the locker room.

When we come back we learn that Mr. McMahon and company might be released if they follow certain conditions. The match, joined in progress, shows Vader firmly in control; however, the pinfall count never happens as Tennessee Lee is successful in distracting referee "Blind" Jack Doane every time Vader atempts a pin. Finally, Vader's had enough, and at least gets to spit on Lee before Jarrett chop blocks Vader to take control. Going outside, Jarrett drives Vader's leg/knee into the mat. "Vader" chant fires up. Jarrett continues on the knee. Jarrett with the Boss Man leap-and-butt-drop while your opponent is on the ropes. Jarrett misses another butt drop and Vader's back up. Knocks him down. Big short clothesline. Vader to the second rope - BIG SPLASH! Out come Kane (DQ 3:48+) who attacks Vader from behind. Paul Bearer directing, Kane pounds Vader, then SLAMS him (very impressive!) and clotheslines him to the outside. Both men on the outside. Vader absorbs some more punishment, then is whipped into the steel steps. Bearer tells his son that that's enough, and they make their way back, with Vader never coming back and causing any damage to Kane. Dammit.

Glowering, Mr. McMahon is let out of the car to apologise to Steve Austin. In his most humble voice, McMahon apologises - but as the cuffs come off, his expression turns very dark.

Jim Ross is joined by Jerry Lawler, and they both talk over the opening credits for the War Zone. It's rated TV-PG-V, by the way.

The three Musketeers walk out, looking haggard. "I hope you've had some fun here tonight, Austin. I hope you're real proud of yourself, for what you've accomplished. How dare you have me arrested in public like a common criminal! And pour beer down the back of my neck! And then place conditions upon my release - a condition of apology - which I did not mean! And yet another condition, that for Sunday's match, someone should volunteer to stand guard" to make sure that Vince's officiating is on the up and up. Vince swears that "not one WWF superstar" intimidates him so he accepts the condition. "[But] your fun ends right here tonight...because Stone Cold Steve Austin, I am ordering you to compete one-on-one here tonight with the Undertaker!"

"Earlier today at a clandestine airport somewhere in North America" clip of DX and their latest plan. It involves Triple H in a plane, apparently. Of course, by a staggering coincidence, Triple H will take on the Rock tonight in the main event. No wait, those two events are completely unrelated. Never mind.

AL SNOW & THE HEAD make their appearance. Snow asks Lawler why he hasn't gotten his meeting with McMahon yet. Lawler tells Snow he sat next to him last week, and it's not Lawler's fault that he didn't know about it. Security escorts Snow away before he can smack Lawler around.

TAKA MICHINOKU v. DICK TOGO (with Yamaguchi San) [for the Light Heavyweight title?] - Taka with spinning heel kick and that cool springboard splash which gets Double Feature treatment. Taka with the missile dropkick. Going up top again, Taka runs into a dropkick on his way down. Togo knocks Taka off the apron, then hits a senton off the apron to the floor (also a Double Feature). Back in the ring, Whip into the corner, German suplex but Taka lands on his feet. Togo with a Golotta and a somersault kick. Vulcan nerve pinch by Togo, whip, powerslam for 2. Bodyslam by Togo, who goes up and comes down for 2. Whip into the corner, Togo misses the follow splash. Taka tries a tornado DDT but doesn't hold on. Whip, duck, Frankensteiner, pin. (3:50) Hmm, I wish that were a lot longer. Taka gets his hands on Yamaguchi - but before he can take a swing, Mens Teoh and Sho Funaki are in, and they apply the beatdown. Taka eats a fishermanbuster from Funaki, and a senton bomb from Togo. Kaientai's music plays as they exit through the crowd. We are told that Bradshaw isn't around this week, so it looks like Taka won the battle but lost the war.

Backstage we see the Undertaker gettting ready for his match.

Castrol GTX presents the Slam of the week - Val Venis' Money Shot splash from the top rope.

Let us take you back to that same airport - where the remaining members of DX are wondering where Triple H has gone. Jesse James calls Gunn "Rocka-billy" to break us up. Har har.

MARVELOUS MARC MERO (with Sable and Contract) v. FAAROOQ - Clip from last week's RAW shows Funk defeating Mero while Sable looks on in contentment. Mero asks Sable to remove his jacket, and she RIPS it off in a violent fashion. Ross hypes "Backstage at Over the Edge," available at www.wwf.com Sunday. Mero tries to use Sable as a shield, until Faarooq turns his back and then he gets taken down. It's all Mero until he puts his head down. Faarooq with a big powerslam and Mero rolls outside. Faarooq follows and drives Mero into the steel steps. Mero again uses Sable as a shield. Of course, that means he takes control after pushing Sable into Faarooq. I liked this routine better when it was Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth doing it. Mero's delivering the bad mouth to Sable and a running kneelift to Faarooq. More talk for Sable. DDT on Faarooq and Sable is up on the apron. Can you see what's coming? Faarooq with a big clothesline and a pin. (2:30) And Sable's pretty smug about it. We learn that Faarooq has an IC title shot Sunday. Mero grabs a mic and asks the fans to shut up while he displays the contract. "This Sunday at Over the Edge, you go out and find any WWF Superstar that can beat me without your help, and I'll tear up this contract and you're free to do whatever you please, however, and this is a big however, when I win, you have to leave the World Wrestling Federation forever! We got a deal this Sunday?" "I will see you this Sunday, Marc." Well, that's not an answer, is it, Sable?

Vince McMahon narrates a Pat Patterson puff piece - he's the first Intercontinental Champion, you know. What a swell guy he is, too!

DX's secret mission, it turns out, was skywriting over WCW's Nitro site. Whoopee!

THE ROCK (with Mark Henry) v. TRIPLE H (with Chyna) in a nontitle Champ vs. Champ match - The Rock gives us his thoughts on Viagra - he doesn't need it so he can't comment. He goes on to promise that Faarooq has no chance at his belt Sunday. And he goes on to badmouth Triple H. And then we take an ad break.

Castrol GTX brings you WWF Over the Edge SUNDAY!

Are you ready? Finally, we start this match. Lockup, wristlock, reverse, headlock, out, shoulderblock by the Rock. Lockup, headlock by the Rock, gobehind into a keylock, HHH elbows Rock in the mush and chops his [own] crotch. And now they're taking turns giving rights to each other. Rock takes charge, and knocks down HHH, then chops HIS crotch. The Rock runs at Helmsley, who steps aside and brings the Rock to the outside over the top rope. Chyna delivers a punch, which brings over Mark Henry. While referee "Blind" Mike Ciota is distracted by these two staring down, Helmsley is basically running Maivia into anything nailed down at ringside. Back in, and the Rock hits Helmsley on his way in. To the corner, the Rock kicks and punches away and Hunter is sitting on the mat. Ciota and Maivia jaw about the five count, and Henry chokes Helmsley, then gets a shot in with the Intercontinental belt, much to Chyna's dismay. Ciota turns around, and counts - 1, 2, Chyna pulls Rocky off of Hunter. While Ciota turns to Chyna, lets take an ad break!

But first, a reminder that Over the Edge will be broadcast Sunday on PPV!

When we come back, the Rock is winding up for the People's Elbow - and he delivers. 1, 2 - no. Ross says no more commercials for the last 12+ minutes of the show. Meanwhile, Hunter's finally come back and has brought Mark Henry up on the apron to boot. While Ciota turns to Henry, Chyna waffles the Rock with the European title. 1, 2, no. See? Cheaters NEVER prosper! Helmsley with kneedrop for 2. Chop (woooo!) by HHH, and another. And now Helmsley is kicking away until the Rock is lying on the mat. Whip into the corner, head down, swinging neckbreaker by the Rock. 1, 2, no. 1, 2, no. They're toe to toe, trading blows, head down, Helmsley tries for the pedigree, but the Rock backdrops him over the top rope - to Henry, who stomps away. Chyna grabs a chair, and takes a shot at Henry. So Henry turns to Chyna - and Helmsley gets to attack from behind, and Henry meets the steel steps. So the Rock comes out to help Henry, then next thing we know Triple H and the Rock are brawling on the outside, and - yep, double countout. (10:50 give or take an ad break). The Rock backs away, still laying the smack down on Helmsley - but he ends up backing into Faarooq, who PILEDRIVES him on the stage. Wow.

We immediately turn to the next match, and learn that MR. McMAHON will be the special guest referee.

THE UNDERTAKER v. STEVE AUSTIN - Before Austin comes out, Undertaker walks up to McMahon, who takes a step back - UT takes another step forward - McMahon takes one more step back - UT takes another step forward - And Undertaker CHOKESLAMS McMahon! Before we can see McMahon tombstoned, though - Kane runs to ringside. They brawl for a while on the outside, and then over the rail and out through the crowd. Meanwhile, Brisco and Patterson have come out to help McMahon - and that's the cue for the broken glass. Stunner for Brisco - Stunner for Patterson. Austin ties McMahon in the ropes, and grabs a chair - before McMahon can take any MORE punishment, DUDE LOVE storms the ring with a chair - Austin swings his chair at Dude's chair and with a mighty *crack* down goes Love. Meanwhile, McMahon is snuck out of the ring. Cue Austin's music while we see replays of everything we just saw. Austin flips the double bird and walks offstage as we fade out.

Oh yeah ... (no contest) .

See you at the Pay-Per-View!