/9 November 1998
WWF RAW is WAR
I GET LETTERS:
Last week, I noted Mankind was wearing a new tie. Here's
a little story about how he got it.
Spencer Chestnutt wrote: I'd like to share a quick story about my experiences at the WWF house shows in Hampton and Richmond, VA on October 1st and 2nd, 1998. I had a great time, thanks in large part to Mick Foley. I didn't get to meet him, but I did have a rather interesting experience.
Being big fans, my friends and I will usually wait an hour or so after the show in the parking lot to see the guys drive out. When Mick Foley drove by with his window down, I yelled "Don't sell the elbow, Mick!", a reference to Mankind's disdain for the People's Elbow. Mick's expression went blank for half a second, and then he started cracking up! He honked the horn at me, and then drove away. I was proud of myself for being able to do what not many people have done. I made Mick Foley laugh. Little did I know he'd return the favor the next night.
I was shopping in the Wal-Mart in Newport News, VA about an hour later when I encountered D-Lo Brown shopping with one of his friends. I congratulated D-Lo on his great match with X-Pac, and he proceeded to give me the "I'm not me" business, the lamest excuse for a work I've ever heard. If there had been other people in that section, I would have understood his evasiveness, but I was the only one there. I could tell they were in a hurry, and made no effort to stop them. A simple "thanks" would have sufficed, but D-Lo chose to insult my intelligence and treat me like an idiot. I still think he's a great wrestler, though.
One other thing about D-Lo. I thought I was being very considerate and discreet by not mentioning the fact that I recognized D-Lo's "friend" was none other than Glen "Kane" Jacobs. They were probably out in their van laughing hysterically at the fact that I had no idea that I was standing right next to Kane. I'd love to see the expression on their faces if they ever read this and discover that I knew EXACTLY who I was standing next to, but chose not to mention Mr. Jacobs' identity for their sakes. Maybe their attitude will change the next time they encounter a genuinely appreciative fan in an empty Wal-Mart.
I was walking around the store feeling extremely disappointed when I saw a tie, of all things, that reminded me of Mick Foley. It was a bright yellow tie in the shape of a giant Mankind happy face, and had the Tazmanian Devil busting through the middle of the happy face. I took the tie and a greeting card with me to Richmond to give to Mr. Foley, and after about an hour of waiting beside the entranceway before the show, I finally found a sympathetic crew member. He said that if Mick was in the back then, he'd hand Mick my gifts, but, if he wasn't, he'd give them back to me . After about 3 minutes he came back and gave me the thumbs up, which I knew was the best assurance I'd get that Mick actually got the stuff. I thanked him and took my seat. So, if you ever see Mankind wearing the bright yellow happy face tie, you'll know who gave it to him.
After a great show, my friend and I again went to the exit to watch the wrestlers leave, and wouldn't you know it, Mick Foley comes by with his windows down again. Of course, I took the opportunity to yell "Don't sell the Elbow, Mick!" He looked around, but didn't see me. My friend, who was further up the road waited until the vehicle was stopped, and yelled "Foley! Don't sell the elbow!" Mick looked right at him, actually leaned out of the window, and yelled back "I'm not gonna sell it!!" I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. I yelled "I hope you like the tie, Mick!" He then faded into the distance, but not before giving us some great memories. I went to what I thought would be run of the mill house shows, and ended up with some great matches and great experiences.
I'd like to thank all the WWF wrestlers for working hard for the local Virginia fans in matches that will never be seen on TV, and, of course, a very special thanks to Mick Foley for some experiences I'll never forget.
So there you go. Buy Mick stuff and he'll wear it on TV! Maybe. Well, it's still a great story.
That was the long of it, now here's the short of it.
Todd Gerth wrote:Hey, i got a joke for your Raw report. If Hawk comes out playing the drunk angle, you can say "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh......WHAT A LUSH!!!!!!"
y'know, like Hawk says "What a rush"
....thanks, Todd, I didn't get it until you explained it to me. To quote Hawk "Uuhhhhhh, WHAT A BOOGER!"
Now, on with the show...
One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
No opening - TV-PG-V FIREWORKS! We are in the Reunion Arena in Dallas, TX 9.11.98 (but taped 3.11) for WWF RAW! Could this be the Rock's last night in the WWF? Yeah, right. Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, who provide all commentary. This show is probably closed captioned and en espanol donde sea disponible but if those logos were displayed I missed it. Oh yeah, we're on USA *and* TSN this week. Get happy!
X-PAC v. UNDERTAKER (with Paul Bearer) in a nontitle? match - last night on Heat, X-Pac was all ready to take on Stephen Regal for the European title, but that wacky 'taker had other ideas, demolishing the much smaller man with a chokeslam from on high before we even got to hear the first few words sung by the Fred Tomlinson Singers! X-Pac, obviously still feeling the effects of the blunt blow of his head on the mat, went on to challenge the Pale Destroyer tonight. X-Pac gets the lightning kicks first but Undertaker quickly picks up X-Pac by his neck and throws him into the corner, then rains punches and kicks on him - well, now the lights are out and it looks like we're gonna start THIS shit again early. Yes, friends, it's KANE come out to make sure no match ends clean tonight! Undertaker looks right at his brother, still holding X-Pac by the hair - next thing we know there's a *fireball* right in X-Pac's face! The implication is that Kane hit the wrong guy...or Undertaker is REALLY smart and had a suitable shield protecting himself. Kane walks out after Undertaker, who is backing away - or is he? Meanwhile the OUTLAWS are out to check on their fellow DX stablemate. Looks like he took the fire right in the eye. EMTs are on the scene. Hey, isn't that the same eye he took that splinter in a couple months ago? Replay shows Kane "shooting" the fire from his hand - I *guess* that's *kinda* cool. Let's call it (no contest :20ish)
WWF Survivor Series is THIS Sunday!
WWF War Zone for the Nintendo ad.
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago - another camera angle, and this effect is lookin' cooler. Backstage, we see the EMTs continue to work with X-Pac, and X-Pac continue to be generally unhappy that he's not with his best friends Scott Hall and Kevin Nash where you don't get fire shot in your eye.
Backstage, in a different part of backstage anyway, Mr. McMahon and his entourage walk up to Mankind, who is proudly carrying his championship belt - McMahon tells Mankind that tonight he'll defend his Hardcore Title against King Ken Shamrock in a no holds barred, falls count anywhere match. Yeah! McMahon goes on to tell him that "there's more belts where that came from," but as a friendly suggestion, maybe a makeover would be in order?
VAL VENIS (with Terri Runnels?) v. STEVE BLACKMAN (with Riggs & Murtaugh) - Let Us Take You Back to Last Night On Heat where Val revealed that paternity is impossible as he had the ol' snippy snippy with the tubes and the...actually I don't want to talk about it. FINALLY seeing Terri, who had snuck in behind him on the way to the ring, Val sends her off - she seems not exactly thrilled about being tossed to the curb. Venis compares himself to Deion Sanders - they DO have something in common now that I think about it; I don't really like either of them. We see a couple Dallas Cowboys in the audience (as opposed to in the slamma, ba-dum-bum). Quick attack before the bell but Blackman gets the mo with a big foot up in the corner. Drop toehold by Venis, whip, duck, nice kick by Blackman. Blackman picks him up and delivers a standing dropkick. martial arts kick. Chop (woooo!), another. Blackman in control - double underhook slam. Karate chops to the back of the head - ooh, in the throat, that ain't exactly kosher. To the submission hold. Venis elbows out, hard chop (woooo!), shoulderblock, Blackman with a thrust. Snap suplex with a bridge by Blackman for 2. He stays on him, pounding, stomping. Later tonight, a look back at Jesse Ventura. Ross congratulates the voters of Minnesota for having "the courage to make such a bold choice." Hey Ross, he's governor of the 20th biggest state in the Union, what the hell are YOU doing with yourself? Another near fall for Blackman. Scoop slam. Big running elbowdrop. I kinda like this Blackman feller, by the way. Venis dumps Blackman over the top but he stays on the apron. He does miss a Sunset flip attempt coming back in, so Val hits a crossbody, but Blackman rolls through for 2. Lariat by Venis. Whip, he holds on and puts the knee in the gut. Side Russian legsweep. Terri is back out - while Venis does the bump'n'grind, Terri rares back and Golottas him from behind. Even a WWF referee could see this one coming. (DQ 2:19) 0 for 2 in the clean finish department, may I say - oh, I guess it's ok as long as we're ENTERTAINED. Although to be fair, who would YOU book to lose this match? Anyway, to further confuse us, both OWEN HART & BLUE BLAZER come out to put the boots to Blackman (Owen happens to put HIS boot in a very private area, if you catch my drift). Blazer uses the Dragon Sleeper again...hmm...
Backstage, Mankind is getting a haircut. You have to see it to appreciate how funny it is, that's all I can say. Highlight is Mankind saying maybe Vinny will buy him some NEW new teeth. "What happened to the old ones?" "Austin threw 'em in the crowd!"
Exterior shot of Dallas (home of the Cowboys - you suck Cowboys) and a nice "SOLD OUT" marquee.
JESSE JAMES (with Billy Gunn) v. U BETTA RECOGNISE D'LO BROWN (with Mizark Henry) v. MOSH (with Thrasher) in a Triple Threat Match - Last night we learned that since there wasn't a definitive winner in last week's #1 Contenders match, and because Mr. McMahon is generally acting the asshole lately, the Outlaws will defend their titles against BOTH the tiny Nation and the Head Bangers in a Triple Threat match. Thus, tonight's "preview" matchup (I guess). Outlaws with their campfire singalong. D'Lo attacks before the bell, and before Mosh arrives. Mosh comes in and he and Brown trade blows. Standard Triple Threat fare has "nonstop action" which means two guys beat each other up until one's tired, then the other one comes in and beats up the nontired guy, repeat. Lots of dueling near fall spots with the third guy always breaking up just in the nick of time. Oh yeah, referee is "Blind" Shane McMahon. Lawler promises that you'll see ALL of the Survivor Series this Sunday, a jab at Havoc. Mosh is dressed like a Head Banger tonight instead of an Outlaw. I know I haven't called any of this "nonstop action" so let's check the clock: about 4 minutes in, and, go figure, James is the face in peril, getting worked over by both men. Brown and Mosh have an uneasy alliance. Mosh takes his shot at James, then DDT's Brown. Mosh climbs the rope, James rolls away and Mosh eats canvas, then Mosh rolls away and D'Lo eats canvas trying a top rope manoeuvre of his own. All three men are flat on the canvas. Shane gets to 7 before James gets his second wind - alternating punches for Brown and Mosh - ah hell he's dancin' again - Brown manages the Sky-Hi on James, but turning around he runs right into a Stage Dive from Mosh, and gets pinned (about 5:30) - all six men are in the ring, but the Outlaws clear out the other four so THEIR music can play.
MICHAEL KING COLE tries to interview Jeff Jarrett, but he gets shoved away. Jarrett has bad words for Snow, and Debra says something about proving to Goldust that he's all man under that gold suit. Presumably she will be using her legs in some fashion.
Mankind's getting a pedicure - and bemoaning the lack of Mr. Socko on his barren foot. He refers to his "new family - Jerry, Pat, Commissioner Slaughter ... Dad ..."
WWF RAW is brought to you by Western Union (no, not LITERALLY), Castrol Syntec, and Stone Cold Metal: the CD, available at Sam Goody, Musicland, and probably some other places.
GOLDUST (with Marlena?) v. JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (with Debra "Check out the gams" McMichael) - Goldust spies Terri and tells her to forget that she ever heard the name of (no inhale) Goldust. "The credits have already rolled." Crowd seems to cheer Goldust! She breaks the cigar and throws the pieces at him. Man, how can you throw out ANYONE who is so unafraid to wear such gold, thin, show-off-the-headlights outfits? Jarrett starts off early, they go outside, they come inside, crossbody is rolled through and Goldust gets a 2. Now Goldust is on him, a whip is reversed but the big boot is up. Clothesline ducked, atomic drop by Goldust, Jarrett rolls out while Goldust inhales. Jarrett pulls him out but that might not have been a good idea. Several punches, drop on the STEEL steps. Now Debra is "distracting" Goldust and it seems to be working! Goldust is doing some weird tongue stuff. Jarrett manages to - well, it looked like a clothesline but Goldie just kinda crumpled. Back in the ring, Goldust comes back with an uppercut. Bulldog! 1, 2, no. Another uppercut, to the corner, bump'n'grind? Ten punch count along, will he kiss him? Nope. Now he's setting up the legs over the second ropes - oh, don't kick him in the nuts, you'll lose via DQ! Now Debra's in the ring and making eyes at Goldust. Goldust unzips his shirt and executes the liplock (!) on Debra - meanwhile, Jarrett's picked up that guitar and done that thing on that head and that's a third no-finish, not that I'm complaining, yeah, right, hell YEAH I'm complaining. (DQ 3:27) Somewhere in here, it was once again mentioned how well off financially Debra is, and I'm still trying to figure out who exactly they're referring to - are they implying a hefty settlement from Mongo, or is she just a tool to bring back - yes - TED DiBIASE? Well, maybe not.
We see the ROCK enter the building.
Montage of Jesse Ventura outrageous outfit clips (well, YOU tell me what the point of it was). I like the one of him and McMahon on horses the best. We hear that Mr. McMahon has given Jesse an invite to next week's live RAW. Wouldn't it be *something* if...naah, it'll never happen. Memphis newspaper has Lawler in an editorial cartoon dealing with Ventura's election - Lawler promises he's not running for anything any time soon.
Sunday, 22 November at 1330 the JVCkaboom! Box presents the WWF Live at the San Jose Arena! Fatal four way: Kane, Undertaker, Rock, and Steve Austin! Intercontinental Title match: Ken Shamrock and Mankind! Women's title match: Sable and Jacqueline! So much more! And CRZ will sing the national anthem to kick it all off! Well, technically, while I will be SINGING the anthem, I will actually be sitting at home in my apartment many miles away from the actual event. But you can *pretend*!
JVCkaboom! Box presents the Kaboom! of the week: Shamrock's chair shot on the Rock, earning a DQ win for the Rock, but stripping him of #1 Contendership and his slot in the Survivor Series. From last week's War Zone.
Michael King Cole is backstage with the Rock, who calls McMahon "rooty poot" and says lots of other fun stuff I can't be bothered to write down. At the end of the interview, Jarrett and Goldust fly by; they're fighting again. Just before Goldust is ready to finish him off - the Blue Blazer comes in to attack Goldust. He disappears as the boatload of WWF referees try to break things up.
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago - MAN that piece of "railing" looked so PLASTIC and FAKE. Hey, there's the Blue Blazer! I *never* get tired of seeing THAT guy!
KING KEN SHAMROCK (with RAW credits) v. MANKIND (with TV-PG-V box) for the Hardcore title - clip montage of Shamrock and Mankind "when they have rules!" What mayhem and carnage will take place with NO rules in place? Mankind is wearing a tuxedo and cummerbund, shaven face and shorn hair. Oh, and still that mask. Studs in the shoes, very natty. Shamrock attacks before the bell and takes the early lead. Hard elbows. McMahon and company have come out on the ramp to watch the action. Shamrock with a knee to the chin/neck. Again. Right hand, Mankind with one right hand and Shamrock goes down - oh, because that right hand was holding a shoe. Mankind takes off his tuxedo jacket and chokes away with it. Choke on the second rope. NICE vest there. Shamrock is tied to the Tree of Woe. Huge double axehandle to the chin. Mankind is out and taking Shamrock with him. DDT? No, Shamrock reverses and rolls him up for 2. Lariat by Shamrock. Shamrock with a right, Mankind drapes himself first over the announcer's table, then the timekeepers chair. Shamrock kicks him in the chin, then waffles him with his Hardcore belt. Mankind's head meets the announcers' desk. Another right. Repeat. Mankind backbodydrops Shamrock into the laps of Ross and Lawler, now he's stomping away. Mankind grabs a chair and throws it in the ring, now he's got Shamrock in there. Lawler displays the shoe, very nice. Shamrock reverses a powerbomb attempt to back bodydrop Mankind on the chair. And now Shamrock is back on the offense - big punches - Mankind is outside again, Shamrock follows. Whip, reverse and Shamrock runs right into the STEEL steps. 1, 2, no. Falls counting anywhere, see. Shamrock is run into the barrier, and they're over. Shamrock punches Mankind back over the barrier. Shamrock is choking Mankind with cable. Mandible claw! Shamrock wraps his arms around Mankind, and there's a belly-to-belly ONTO THE STEEL STEPS. That was pretty hardcore! I feel asleep during November to Remember! Nestle Crunch brings us the double feature. Shamrock whips Mankind into the apron, then belly-to-belly suplexes him onto the floor. Then he screams. Mankind hits a low blow, then a chairshot to the back. THERE'S THE DDT ON THE CHAIR! Cover - 1, 2, shouldabeen 3 but referee "Blind" Tim White waited for the shoulder to go up. Mankind has the chair, but Shamrock keeps ducking the chair. They're all the way up the ramp now. Shamrock hits a side suplex at the top of the ramp. Nice. 1, 2, NO! The five men at the top of the ramp haven't scattered, amazingly. Shamrock runs at Mankind with the chair but Mankind hits a back bodydrop. Shamrock does manage a HUGE chair to the head - while White is checking Mankind, the Boss Man gives Shamrock a strategically placed nightstick to KO him. Mankind happens to have an arm draped over him, so there's the 1, 2, 3. FINALLY a finish! (8:13) Mankind gives McMahon a hug - McMahon displays the appropriate facial expression when Mankind isn't looking. So who's Mankind's mystery opponent? When in doubt, think: THE BROOKLYN BRAWLER.
We see EMTs running into a room - Cole is saying "The Rock has been attacked, the Rock has been attacked, I'll tell you more when we come back!"
After the Survivor Series, BUY STUFF with the WWF on that popular cable shopping channel!
WWF War Zone for the Nintendo ad.
Local cable system ad for the Survivor Series - this is the first time in a LONG while that I can remember TCI actually providing PROMO time on their own. What can this mean? Prob'ly nuthin'.
Michael King Cole stands next to a door. Man, those EMTs are earning their pay tonight! Apparently, there was a blow to the head, but nobody saw it. Maybe we'll learn more later tonight.
I hear glass, time for the ass - STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN walks to the ring and does his shtick, then insults McMahon, and to make things *really* interesting, the BIG BOSSMAN comes out and says that he's being paid really well for his "services," which mean not only is Austin going to be beaten, but he's going to be put in a wheelchair. Bossman does a lot more swearing than I remember him doing before. He says "hard time" and "law, order & justice" and I get all misty with the memories of times gone by. Austin invites Bossman to the ring, oh and he'll shove that nightstick up his ass. Bossman says that Mr. McMahon is the judge and the jury - and at Survivor Series, they'll play, but Austin will pay. Austin promises to beat his ass for free and that's the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so. Then he grabs a beer and drinks it. You know what's been missing tonight? Vince McMahon? Show you right.
Another shot of Michael King Cole, the EMTs, the Rock, and Cole says he'll try to get a word from Mr. McMahon after this break. All right!
Next to the ambulance, Cole asks McMahon if the stipulations on the Mark Henry/Rock match hold even after the brutal attack none of us saw. McMahon says that's a stupid question, and of course.
Nestle Crunch presents Survivor Series. Eating a Crunch bar is a DEADLY GAME!
AL SNOW (with Head) v. TIGER ALI SINGH (with Babu Nahasapeemapetilan and a lot of rose petals) - Singh says he can't believe that the WWF would pair him with a dangerous schizo like Snow, so instead he'll be facing Babu. Babu leaves the ring, Singh turns around to see what's up and gets a Headshot. But it looks like the match WILL be with Babu as DEBRA McMICHAEL makes that long catwalk down the ramp. I think if it's really over between her and Mongo, she should consider a much younger man, oh, maybe one in California. Oh yeah, Head is wearing Mr. Socko as a Headband. Anyway, Babu does some offensive-type manouevre stuff but all it seems to do is make Snow laugh. Singh hits a low blow from the outside and works over Snow, but nothing doing. Snow is back in - Snowplow - but he's finally noticed that Debra has taken the Head and stuck it in her - umm, bosom - okay. While Snow is asking Debra what's going on over there, Singh comes in and hits a facebuster, then covers. Referee "Blind" Jack Doane decides, what the hell, and counts the pinfall - Singh wins and Snow does the J.O.B. (2:23) Replay shows that Debra actually KISSED the Head - is the Head a lesbian? And what's up with *Debra*, come to think of it?
Clip showing (THE LOVELY) SABLE working out. Seeing this footage makes me wistfully remember the ultimate T&Afest that was "the :20 Minute Workout." I would give REAL money to have somebody broadcast that on my television again - but then again, I COULD try to go out and meet a real woman and maybe I'd stop thinking of things like that....thinking of....excuse me, I'll be right back.
Cole, still standing next to the ambulance, says that McMahon and the Bossman are on their way to the Rock's locker room, he'll have more right after this. Is Cole the official commercial bumper guy now? Sheesh.
Another WWF San Jose house show ad.
Cole tries to get an update from the EMTs, but McMahon busts in and says that HE'S got an update for ya: the Rock is real close to unemployment. "Hey Rock! How's it feel to hit the Rock Bottom? Hah hah hah..."
EDGE (with Gangrel, a burning ring o' far, Christian, and Satan) v. KANE (with can of gasoline, acetylene blowtorch, and Satan) in a "winner gets to keep Satan in their corner" match - I guess Kane can't run in and cause a DQ in THIS match, huh? Montage of clips from last week's debacle shows lots of Kane chokeslams, and tonight's fireball that hit X-Pac. Kane ducks twice then puts up the big boot. No offense at all for Edge here as he is subject to lots of shots, nice choke, whip, head down, Edge tries something but Kane ducks, Edge takes him out of the ring but he lands on his feet, then takes Edge out with him. Edge to the barricade. Edge DROPPED on the barricade. Back in we go. Edge with a kick, punch, punch, nope. Kane with a knee to the gut, to the corner, whip into the opposite corner, bodyslam. Elbowdrop misses. Edge with a right, another, no effect, slides under, Frankensteiner attempt is caught and powerbombed. Nestle Crunch double feature. Edge placed on the top turnbuckle and as Kane climbs the ropes, Gangrel is on the apron, distracting referee "Blind" Jim Korderas, so Christian can distract Kane behind his back. Dropkick from the top by Edge, DDT. Kane is up though, and back on him. WOW, nice springboard into a legdrop while he was on the top rope. Kane picks up Edge and throws him over and onto Gangrel. Back to Christian - high knee off the steps - has he EVER moved this fast? Throwing Edge back in, Christain and Gangrel try a doubletam and it does nothing. Edge with a crossbody over the top - now the TRIPLE team is on, Korderas finally calls for the bell (DQ 3:20ish) but it looks like Kane will be able to take out the entire Brood on his own anyway. Chokeslam for Christian, chokeslam for Gangrel, chokeslam for Edge. He's piling them all up together in the middle of the ring, you don't think he's going to set them on fire, do you? Sure enough, he's outside and he's cookin' with gas. Korderas suggests this might not be the wisest course of action, but the wisest course of action would be for Korderas to not get in the man's way! Chokeslam for the referee, and *he's* added to the pile of bodies. There's the gas. Ross: "Can we go to commercial please? To hell with the ratings!" before the torch gets lit, an army of WWF officials and refs come out to rescue the Brood. Kane walks out through the crowd, stopping to chokeslam a random fan on the way.
Stonecold.com spot - it's a pretty good site but they sure want you to get and use a lot of Microsoft crap to see the multimedia stuff.
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago Where Bad Thing Happened. Gangrel AGAIN has a winning facial expression just before his chokeslam.
Ross and Lawler talk about the Rock. Last night on Heat, Vince McMahon said that unless the Rock defeated Mark Henry tonight by pinfall or submission, he'd no longer be employed by the WWF. Well, hell, it's all in the Heat report anyway, go read it there. Hey, you notice how that Heat guy(tm) went to a lot of trouble to try to pass off his previous bashing of This Report and This Reporter as IRONY? It's *almost* like he got some negative feedback - perhaps MORE than positive feedback, but I shouldn't speculate. I think we've all learned something here. I'm a lot like Hammer. You know: U CAN'T TOUCH THIS! Well, maybe not. Am I just trying to pep up this report because I'm dogging it and coasting this week? *Maybe this report isn't long enough yet.* Who can say, who can figure out such devices, who can predict when I will get my next haircut, who can say that Bess Motta was cuter than Arlaine Wright? Certainly not me.
VINCENT K. is wheeled out to his ringside seat for the match, then says that it's too bad he didn't have eyes in the back of his head. In case you missed how it was set up, McMahon has problems with the People's Champion because he has problems with the People - so many problems with the People, that it's all he can do to choke down the insane amounts of money that they plunked down to attend tonight's show. McMahon trashes Dallas, then the Cowboys, saying that last week when the Rock was put into jail, he ended up having something in common with half the Cowboys' roster (ha!). Finally, out comes SHANE McMAHON, inviting Vince to make lots of "lowly referee" comments. "Dad, would you please cut the crap?" Shane says that his frustrations aren't with the people, the Rock, Stone Cold, or anything else, it's all about "family business." Vince says oh no, it's not about family business, but "my business." Vince invites Shane to leave. Shane says if he wants to take out his frustrations on somebody, to take them out on him, "because ya always did." "When I punished you as a child, you had it coming. Now you get the hell out of here, or you'll have another beating coming. Now GET OUT! MOVE IT!" "I'm not leaving." "Well I'll tell you what, you're not leaving? I'm going to enjoy this more than I enjoyed beating you as a child. BOSSMAN, get him!" And they're in the ring. "You've got it coming!" Before he gets it, though, STEVE AUSTIN is in the ring and clotheslining Bossman out of the ring. He steals the nightstick and escorts Shane out of the ring. The 3 Stooges hold back Bossman as Austin tosses the nightstick back down the ramp. Austin's music plays, and oh by the way, there's a match still to come - I guess that's the main event since they've managed to kill a fair bit of time in this segment.
Survivor Series promo. TV-14 Sunday!
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago and Show You What You Done Seen
MIZARK HENRY (with D'Lo Brown) v. ROCK - I hope D'Lo keeps wearing those "European Champion" tights - two years from now we can all make fun of him - hell, keep the chest protector on too. The Rock's music plays once, then twice, but we still don't see him. Finally he DOES appear, and McMahon shows much consternation. He's walkin' kinda funny. Rock attacks first, kicking and punching away. Commentators say he better get it over with fast with that head injury. "Rocky" chant. Whip into the opposite corner, big lariat and Henry goes down. Stomp, stomp. This match probably isn't about technical fluidity, you know. Outside the ring, Rock drags Henry to the corner of the apron and then measures some elbows. Henry taken out, Henry meets the STEEL steps with his head. McMahon glowers. Right hand, Rock breaks the count and goes back out. Whip, reverse, Rock hits the barricade. Rock manages to come out with a lariat, though. Henry hits a headbutt to a "un foul" region, then rolls him back in the ring. Henry delivers some - well, let's call them "deliberate" blows. Choke on the second rope. While referee "Blind" Mike Chioda chastises Henry, D'Lo pops the Rock with the right. Suplex attempt is blocked, and REVERSED. Rock stomps away, punches away when he gets up, whip, Henry steps aside and clotheslines him. Big elbowdrop. 1, 2, no. Whip, bearhug. D'Lo and Bossman have the same jacket on! Rock with repeated rights to break the hold, more right hands, Henry rakes the face and that stops that. Whip, reverse, powerslam by Rock (!). 1, 2, no! Rock ducks a punch and delivers punches of his own. Clothesline, another, another, yawn, side Russian leg sweep, 1, 2, no. Henry is up, so since Chioda isn't looking, Rock hits a right to the jewels. To the corner, whip, reverse, Rock comes out and is powerslammed for 2. Now brown is up again, and while Chioda deals with him, Bossman is up to handcuff the Rock to the turnbuckle, but the Rock is too clever and BOSSMAN ends up cuffed. Rock hits a DDT! 1, 2, Brown pulls out Chioda and DECKS him. While the Stooges try to free Bossman, Rock has meanwhile hit the Rock Bottom! Now the People's Elbow! But there's no referee! Or is there? SHANE McMAHON runs out, slides in and counts 1, 2, 3 (7:23) and the Rock wins! He's back in the Survivor Series! But he's not done. With McMahon left alone, Rock grabs him and rolls him into the ring. The Stooges are quick to try to protect McMahon, but Rock dispatches with them with no problem (Bossman is still cuffed to the post). McMahon, in an incredible act of bravado, slaps Rock across the face. Rock is angered enough by this to give McMahon BOTH the Rock Bottom and the People's Elbow. You saw that coming? Oh. Send 'em home happy Vince!
By popular request, here's that bracket one more time:
Undertaker\__Undertaker_ Bye / \_____________ Kane \_____Kane____/ \ Bye / \__________ Rock \_____________ / \ Triple H / \_____________/ \ Goldust \_____________/ \ Shamrock / \________________ Mankind \_____________ /new WWF Champion ??? / \_____________ / Jarrett \_____________/ \ / Al Snow / \__________/ X-Pac \_____________ / Regal / \_____________/ Stone Cold \_____________/ Boss Man /
Dr. Voight wrote me with an interesting take: take a look at the tournament bracket - they are copying WM IV exactly, with Taker & Kane filling in for Andre and Hogan, with Austin taking ther same place that Savage did in the bracket, kind of sad if you ask me.
Is he right? Let's check it out:
Hogan Bye Hogan Bye Andre Andre Bye DiBiase DiBiase Duggan DiBiase DiBiase Muraco Muraco Bravo Savage Savage Reed Savage Savage Valentine Valentine Steamboat Savage One Man Gang Bigelow Gang Gang Rude Bye Roberts
Well, I guess that IS kinda semi-interesting after all. A little shuffling, perhaps...well, we'll see Sunday.