WWF RAW is WAR
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One World Leader Attitude - WWF!|
TV-14-DLV - Opening Credits - Closed Captioned - I am so shocked by no "Last Week" montage that I can't think up lyrics to "Thorn in Your Eye"
FIREWORKS! BECAUSE WE ARE LIVE from Freedom Hall - let Freedom ring in Louisville, KY 12.7.99 for WWF RAW! Sign in crowd: "NO LIMIT = NO RATINGS"
We start right off with the sound of breaking glass and the ungainly stride of STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN, contract in back pocket, and championship belt around shoulder. Four corners pose. "Austin" chant. Austin says his attorneys have drawn up the contract - when he beats the Undertaker at Fully Loaded, we won't have to worry about seeing McMahon's ass (or any other part of him) ever again. Austin doesn't want to talk abotu Undertaker busting him open so we won't. Austin calls out Vince to affix his John Hancock to the aforementioned document. "No Chance in Hell" fires up and VINCENT K. wheels - wheels? - out. Sadly, McMahon's motorcycle accident (which couldn't POSSIBLY be worked because *wwf.com* reported it - oh I'm cynical tonight) Austin proffers the pen as he pulls up to the table at the foot of the ring. Crowd gleefully chants "asshole" despite the fact that McMahon is HURTING. The helpful USA Editor prevents Austin's utterance of "calling you an asshole" from reaching the audience's delicate ears. McMahon tells us he was in this accident but NOTHING would stop him from coming out tonight and signing the contract. McMahon takes out his glasses and peruses the contract - but instead of signing, he demands that Austin sign it first. "You've made a career out of screwing me Vince McMahon!" and he demands that Austin sign first. Austin gets a "hell yeah" from the crowd and then says that he's not gonna sign it until Vince forks over his property - the smokin' skull belt. McMahon hems and haws, so Austin says things can be done the easy way or the hard way. The easy way involves the belt being handed over and the contract being signed, while the hard way involves the contract being shoved up Vince's ass. The lights go out and Kane's theme starts playing - huh? The wall of flames alights at the top of the ramp - but no one exits. Austin spins Vince around to face the top of the ramp, and they both look - but the UNDERTAKER is approaching from behind, waffling Austin with his own smokin' skull belt. Oh, he is busted wide open again. Undertaker punches to really get the blood flowin' good. Ewwwww, it's only 2110, I'm not used to blood this early into primetime! Austin driven into the STEEL steps. McMahon smiles - and brandishes a fountain pen. Unfortunately, no one in the WWF demos knows what fountain pens are for. *I* thought Undertaker was carving up Austin like this was FMW, but actually he simply filled the pen with Austin's blood instead. (Oh, is THAT all.) Vince signs the contract with Austin's blood. Ewwwwwwww again. SKIPPY is out and Vince needs a little help getting back up that ramp, which he is happy to provide.
Steve Austin narrates a "G vs. E" ad - premiering after Heat this Sunday! Heat's an ANCHOR!
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago as Undertaker hits Austin and Vince
signs a contract
The EMT's tell Austin we'll need to get the doc for that cut - Austin curses a lot
EDGE (you think you know him) v. GANGREL (with a burning ring o' far) - here's a shot of our hosts, JIM ROSS & JERRY LAWLER (wearing a "for Mayor" pin) - tonight Droz challenges any wrestler to an evening gown match (uh), and Test takes on the Mean Street Posse in a Gauntlet match. Let Us Take You Back to Last Night's Heat where Gangrel hit the Impaler on Edge to cost the Brood a 6-man victory and seal the deal on the Brood splitting. Ross channels Schiavone by saying this is the first time these guys have met - which is a damn lie. Gangrel rushes, Edge ducks, off the ropes, dropkick. Off the ropes, reversal, hairpull takedown by Edge, rights from Edge, whip into the opposite corner and Gangrel hits hard. Ross comes back to Earth by remembering that Edge and Christian ARE brothers. It's unknown where Christian fits into this split, apparently. In fact, we don't really know WHY they're splitting. In FACT, we're not really sure WHY they got together in the first place! Gangrel is out, Edge is following. The theory that Gangrel is jealous of Edge's popularity is again advanced. Top rope rana is countered into a Gangrel powerbomb. Putting the boots to him. Whip into the opposite corner, follow lariat. Rapid-fire kicks to the ribs, and punches in bunches. Edge pulls himself up but Gangrel hits a bulldog - 2. Head to the buckle. Whip into the opposite corner is reversed - Edge charges but goes over the ropes when Gangrel ducks and dumps him. Edge with a hairpull takedown - on the top rope - plancha connects but Gangrel rolls it over for 2. Gut shot - DDT. 1, 2, no. Rear chinlock. Edge getting up and elbowing out - Gangrel taking him down by the hair. Gangrel to the top - slipping - to the top again - Edge dropkicks him - just as well, because if Edge just sat there pretending to be dizzy, it would have REALLY looked bad. Anyway, following the crotching, Edge SNAPS off a Hangman's neckbreaker as Gangrel goes from the top turnbuckle to the floor. Edge with Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine. Off the ropes, Edge hits a Gangrel-esque jumpin' DDT which comes across kinda weird lookin'. Anyway, there's the now famous spear. Edge with lots of right hands. While referee "Blind" Mike Chioda and Edge argue about the legality of the closed fist, Gangrel is outta here. Edge follows as Gangrel's ring of fire starts up again. Gangrel with a kick to the gut, punches, now trading punches, Gangrel ducks a clothesline, punch, kick, and he pushes him into the open hole. Ummm? Call it (5:40)
Backstage, the doctor tells Austin he needs stitches. Austin says he ain't got time to bleed - well, no he doesn't, but I've got Ventura on my mind...
JVCKaboom!Box presents WWF LIVE at the San Jose Arena Friday night! Tickets still available!
The WWF SummerSlam Press Conference will have a special guest Wednesday - Gov. Jesse Ventura! SummerSlam is in Minneapolis, see, and the governor...well, more on this later apparently.
The DX theme plays but nobody comes out. We go backstage to see Road Dogg & X-Pac berating HOWARD FINKEL for snitching on 'em last week - to gain revenge they tar and feather him. Har har har.
And now ROAD DOGG & X-PAC are out to give us what for. Thanks to Chad Vassallo's suggestion, they are hereby dubbed DX WOLFPAC.
tells us that DX is in the house so raise some hell and make a little
noise! Sounds like he has constipation, he does. "Now Hunter, Chyna,
Billy - your sorry corporate kissasses want the rights to DX? Well,
you're gonna have to beat us, and take our last breath pal, 'cause at
Fully Loaded your asses are grass and we're gonna smoke it!" Lawler:
"They're gonna do WHAT?" Ross: "Figure of speech." "You see, the
D-O-double-G and the XtothePtotheAtotheC - we bleed neon green! And
speaking of green, you see boys and girls it's not about those dead
presidents, it's about what's in here (points to heart) so I'll tell you
this much: myself and X-Pac will always be representin' that D and rollin'
on that X - ALL DAY LONG!" The lights go out and the music starts again -
THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE actually walks out this time.
"So what's the deal, Kane? What is it, man? I know you're confused - but
you can't let your brother manipulate you like he did before, man. You
know what I'm sayin'? I've always been straight witchoo and you know it,
but if you're gonna have anything to do with him, I don't want nuttin' to
do with you man, nothin'. So what you're gonna have to do - what you're
gonna have to do is make a choice. You have to do the right thing man,
make a choice." C'mon Mookie! Do the right thing! Before Kane speaks
(ha), DX HOLLYWOOD (KING ASS, THAT SLUT CHYNA & TRIPLE H) is out to waylay
the Gleesome Threesome - Chyna and Dogg fight, Triple H and X-Pac brawl -
and Kane gets a Fame'Asser. Now UNDERTAKER is out to help Kane - the ring
clears except for the brothers. "Kane - I'm your brother - and I won't
make you choose. I would NEVER ask you to choose." And he walks off as
his theme plays. Undertaker walks up the ramp - and turns to look back.
Kane climbs over the rope and takes several steps up the ramp - then looks
back to X-Pac and Road Dogg in the ring. What's gonna happen? What's
gonna happen? WE'RE GONNA TAKE AN AD BREAK - NOW!!
Bah. Just when I was ALMOST interested. Ha!
The WWF Slam of the Week is brought to you by Starburst Hard Candy! The Hardyz use a walking stick and a tornado DDT on Bradshaw to win the tag team championship - from last week's RAW.
MICHAEL KING COLE works tonight! And he's standing in front of an exciting door! It's got the DX logo and Cole promises an interview with Triple H, Chyna and Mr. Ass after this match.
VAL VENIS & GODFATHER (with ten - no, five ho's) v. HARDY BOYZ (with Michael Hayes) for the Tag Team titles - Let us take you back to last night's Heat where Prince Albert did a really cool double suplex on the Hardyz but nobody noticed because the Acolytes were busy running in and messin' up the match. Val compares his dick to Mick Foley - would that make it Dick Foley? Free idea for Al Snow: Come out to the ring carrying a half dozen garden hoes. It's funny, trust me. The Hardyz have new music which sounds less like the Prodigy, too bad. Jeff and Matt start with the double team as Val ends up in the wrong neighborhood. Jeff does a pretty funny hip swivel before putting the boots to him. Whip is reversed, and Val holds on and clotheslines him. Repeat. There's a - something. Tag to Godfather, who runs over both men. Time now for the Ho Train Avalanche splash. Tag to Venis - Jeff sent to Godfather for the Pimp Drop, and there's the money shot. 1, 2, Hayes in with the tag belt to Venis. Referee "Blind" Tim White calls for the bell (DQ 1:34) and I actually buy this story - undermatched team holds onto the belt solely because of heel antics of dick manager. The same old story!
Anyway, the ACOLYTES
come out to get a piece of the Hardyz, only to have BOTH teams attack
them. The requisite contingent of referees comes out to separate
Michael King Cole interviews DX HOLLYWOOD, who says they're the real DX and they're getting ripped off. Tonight, they're gonna kick their asses just for the fun of it. Triple H: "Tell you what boys, bring that big red retard with you to the ring - that is, if he can pull his nose out of the Undertaker's ass long enough."
Well how about that - it's Jeff Jarrett and Debra - and - ooooohhhh - they're WALKING!
Austin's had enough of the doctor - his heads wrapped and don't you DARE make any turban jokes!
Well, now HERE'S a vignette. It's TORI! And she's NAKED! She's also got a lot of words written all over her body. I guess she's come a long way from being Sable's biggest fan....who?
JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET & DE-BRA make their way to the ring as we are reminded that RAW is brought to you by Castrol GTX (as worn by Debra!), Western Union money transfer, and the JVCKaboom!box. "Well I got a little news for everybody here tonight - until each and every one of you start showing ME (the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time) the proper respect - then those puppies are gonna stay in my doghouse, and I'LL tell ya (ha ha) when they can come out to play." Wait, there's the sound of breaking glass and here's STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN to put an end to this nonsense. STUNNER! Jarrett rolls out of the ring and Austin appropriates the mic. "Undertaker you want my blood, you sonofabitch I want a piece of your ass! Tonight right here in this ring, no rules, no ref, anything goes, and that's all I got to say about that!" WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW appears at the top of the ramp. Huh? "Now Steve, you gotta think about this. I know you want it to be you and the Undertaker, but that's not how it's gonna work! Because it's gonna be you and the Undertaker - and Kane! Can't you see - he's recruited his little brother! So either way you look at it, it's gonna be you against Kane and the Undertaker - it's gonna be a handicapped match anyway - I mean, you may not even want my help, but you know *I* wanna kick both their asses just as bad as you do! So I say let Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Big Show send those two freaks to Hell tonight on RAW!" "If you can bring your big ass down there, the bottom line is somebody's gonna get their ass whipped, and that's the bottom line..." and you know the rest. So did Austin break a finger in this segment? He keeps shaking his right hand and looking at his index finger... "Cut the music! Cut the music! Cut that crap off! Cut that damn music off! I don't know who in the hell he thinks he is, but he has never..." and Austin, who's come back into the ring, spins Jarrett around, gives him ANOTHER gutshot/Stunner combo, and walks off for good. Hey, bonus Jarrett! Ha!
There's DX Hollywood - and they're WALKING! I could die right now!
Another shot of DX Wolfpac - at least while they're walking we can hear Road Dogg be uneasy about Kane. "Can we trust this guy?"
Austin would REALLY like us to watch the premiere of Gvs.E. I think I'll watch a Simpsons rerun and then a Futurama rerun. No offense, Stone Cold.
Earlier Tonight, X-Pac told Kane to make a choice. Then DX Hollywood came out to cause damage, and Undertaker saved Kane.
DX HOLLYWOOD v. DX WOLFPAC & KANE? - As the first trio makes their entrance, we roll the RAW credits and turn the hour.
correctly notes that the DX video playing behind Triple H, Chyna and Gunn
only features Road Dogg and X-Pac. "Break it down" plays a second time
for Dogg & X-Pac. Kane's music plays for the third time tonight and the
TV-14-DLV ratings box pops up again. Kane fails to appear, so he gets
announced a second time - this time there's no pyro 'cause it's already
gone off, much to Lawler's relief. Again the entryway is empty - Kane
must be off with the Undertaker. "Well it looks like the big goof's not
gonna make it, is he? So I'll tell you what, I'll cut you guys a little
deal. Why don't you guys just give us the rights to DX right now and we
won't 3-on-2 kick your ass. What do you say?" "We got two words for ya."
Just to FURTHER throw a monkey wrench into the works, THE ROCK comes out
and apparently it's on. "Rocky" chant as they pair off, Rock with Triple
H, Dogg with Chyna (to the outside) and X-Pac with Gunn (to the outside).
After the Rock gets a chance to smell it, we're settled into the tag
formula. Triple H makes a comeback with a high knee. Listen to that
"Rock-key" chant - the crowd LOVES this guy. Rock firing back with
punches. Off the ropes, head down, swinging neckbreaker by Rock. Gunn in
- Rock catches him but before he can hit Rock Bottom on Gunn, Chyna hits a
Golotta from behind. Unfortunately, referee "Blind" Mike Chioda was
keeping Dogg from getting in the ring. Gunn (who thinks he's Brad Pitt
with an Attitude, I am told) clotheslines Rock out of the ring, and to
Triple H. Rock's head taken to the commentary table, given a seat at the
timekeeper's table and punched repeatedly. Head to the STEEL steps. Back
to the table again. Starburst Hard Candy shows us Chyna's low blow again,
in case we missed it. Rolled in, Gunn chokes Rock. Now stomping on him.
Stomp, stomp, stomp. Whee. Whip into the opposite corner - giant splash
finds nothing but turnbuckle. Rock hits a DDT and the only thing
preventing the 3 is the Triple H save. Despite not tagging, Triple H
stays in and continues the attack. Repeated shoulderblocks to the gut.
Off the ropes, sleeper. Crowd chants "Rocky" again. Arm falls once, arm
falls twice. ARm fails to fall thrice. Rock on his feet, right, right,
right, right. Knee from Triple H. Samoan drop from Rock! Both men down
- count is on. Tag to Gunn finally - tag to Road Dogg! Punches, whoops
double noggin knocker fails as they punch him to stop it - double whip,
duck, Dogg with a double punch, another, another, some dancing, a punch
for Chyna as she runs in - double clothesline - pumphandle (with extra
pumping - eewwww) slam - 1, 2, Chyna saves. Dogg knocks her block off
AGAIN, then sends X-Pac into Gunn for a broncobuster. X-Pac takes Triple
H down, then hits the X Factor on Gunn for 2 - Helmsley makes the save.
Dogg takes Helmsley outside while X-Pac tags in Rock. Time now for the
People's Elbow. Thank you, come again. 1, 2, 3. (6:34) Geez, that
match was a FREAKIN' MARATHON considering this is a WWF show. Ha!
Wednesday at 11am/10 Central, the WWF SummerSlam Press Conference will take place - consult WWF.com to have an Out of "Body" Experience
TERRY TAYLOR interviews Droz, who is a sensitive nineties male getting in touch with his feminine side - much to Prince Albert's consternation. Droz wants an Evening Gown match. Someone's gonna get stripped to their - ahem - bra and panties!
wwf.com spot is better left unsaid
Backstage, we see Kane and the Undertaker standing very close.
Undertaker is talking to Kane but we can't hear him because Ross is
talking over it.
Starburst Hard Candy presents WWF Fully Loaded - just under two weeks away and ONLY on Pay-per-view!
DROZ v. ? in an Evening Gown match - "Who's man enough to accept my challenge?" "Chances are....." sings AL SNOW & HEAD. Snow's wearing an evening gown and he'll take the match but it has to be hardcore rules. "Don't just sing it, bring it, bitch!" Droz stomps away as he gets in the ring, so he rolls out. Droz follows and stays on him - now he's under the ring to find some weaponry. Cookie sheet to the head! Poor Snow - his dress was stuck under the STEEL steps. While Droz positions a table in the ring, Snow readies his powder. Droz gets a faceful, then a cookie sheet shot. Snow plays cymbals with trashcan lids with Droz' head between. Snow takes the dress off his tits, then pulls off his pasties. Ross: "It's the dreaded breastlock!" Garbage can lid to the head. Droz rolled in - Snow has salad tongs. Droz manages a chair to the gut, then to the back. Droz sets up the chair and send Snow off the ropes - Snows slides under and uses the tongs in - a sensitive area. Snow pulls the dress while Droz is - umm, distracted - to win. (2:00) What's Al's forehead say this week? Chair to the head for Droz. Droz laid on a table in the corner - there's a legdrop that breaks the table. PRINCE ALBERT is out with his - well, it looks like there's a sledgehammer and a railroad spike in the case. Head is pierced with the spike. Boy, they sure let HIM have it! Snow may have won this battle, but with that mighty blow, Albert and Droz have WON the WAR!
Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight as the doctor tells Mark Henry his blood pressure is too high and he can't compete tonight. Too bad, because this was a #1 Contenders match with he and D'Lo Brown against the Acolytes...
After the break and now LIVE, Brown and Henry are walking (!) off - Brown saying they'll go to the hospital and take care of Henry - they walk by a shadowboxing Hardcore Holly, who stops and notices what's happening...
ACOLYTES walk to the ring - Faarooq says they came here to kick somebody's ass, and that's exactly what they're gonna do tonight. It's the old open challenge. Give Faarooq credit, he held off "Guess what" for the entire interview. Bradshaw says if nobody comes out, they'll go to the back and find somebody. And off they go. HARDCORE HOLLY is at the top of the ramp. Apparently, he says HE'LL be happy to take on both of them, because he's the Big Shot around here. Bradshaw smirks - so Holly slaps him. Ross: "Has Holly got a death wish?" The Acolytes DEMOLISH him, then throw him in the ring. Faarooq on the back, off the ropes, head down - Holly manages a snap suplex on Faarooq! Clothesline from Bradshaw. The beatdown continues. Double spinebuster. Referee "Blind" Teddy Long tries to break it up but no dice. Bradshaw holding Holly so Faarooq can work the ribs. There's an assisted powerbomb. Faarooq tosses Holly over the top rope to the floor. They're all out now. Faarooq taking the top of the STEEL steps while Bradshaw holds him - but Holly gets a boot up, kicking the steps in his face - Bradshaw knocks Holly down as WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW rushes down to the ring and takes out Bradshaw with a superkick. He then drapes Holly over his shoulder and walks up the ramp, making the "what am I gonna do with this guy" face. Big Show puts him down when they're at the top. "I was in control - I had him! I had him beat! Had him right where I wanted him." "Yeah, you were in control." Confusing - but funny! What's with these two guys?
GTV presents a stairwell and Joey Abs saying "Baby, I'm sorry" to Stephanie, and tell her he knows he can make things right if she'll just give him another chance. "You know Joey, you were an idiot then, and you're an idiot now. I went out with you for one reason and one reason only, and that was for my brother Shane, and I'll never do it again. Stay away from me!"
LETHAL WEAPON STEVE BLACKMAN LETHAL WEAPON he speak not at all and carry big stick
Hey! There's Steve Austin - pacing in the back with a stylish headband
TEST v. MEAN STREET POSSE in a Gauntlet match - Let Us Take You Back to Last Night where Test's match with Mr. Ass fell short as Shane sic'd the Posse on him. The ever popular paper rock scissors decides PETE "GAS" as the first man in. Test looks JUST like Diesel when he climbs over the top rope! He rushes Pete on the entranceway before the match and then takes him over the STEEL steps. Now making their way to the Spanish announce table - there's CARLOS CABRERRA & HUGO SAVINOVICH! Rolled into the ring. Top rope elbowdrop looks like Savage is an old man (oh wait) - 1, 2, 3. (:53) - Pete manages a Golotta on Test as RODNEY makes his way into the ring - off the ropes, duck, gutshot, waistlock into powerbomb. Many rights from Test. The Starburst Hard Candy Double Feature provides the nutshot we missed, thank God. Here's Wrath's Meltdown. 1, 2, 3. (2:01) Only JOEY ABS remains - there's a hot shot as he suckered him in to start. Modified swinging neckbreaker. To the corner, Abs staying on him with punches, clubbing forerams, and kicks. Right, forearm. Test manages a kick after Abs gloats to the crowd. Whip into the opposite corner and a powerlsam. But SKIPPY has run out and Test is down after a chop block. (DQ? 3:04?) Pete and Rodney deal with referee "Blind" Tim White as Shane hits a spear and repeated rights. But it isn't enough to take out Test, who turns the tide and lets loose with rights of his own. Shane into the corner as STEVE BLACKMAN (with Riggs & Murtaugh) silently stalks to the ring. Rights to Test, off the ropes, the Lethal Kick! Now here's KEN SHAMROCK, who has NO business being in here. Anyway, he's a house on fire, taking Blackman outside the ring - Blackman comes back as he dumps Shamrock over the barricade - and now they're brawling out in the crowd. Left alone in the ring, Test is quickly swarmed by the Posse. A chair is introduced and it looks like they're going to Pillmanize his ankle. A batch of OFFICIALS & REFEREES comes out but they're quickly subdued. Now STEPHANIE is out - grabbing Shane around the waist, Shane FIRES back with an elbow that PASTES Stephanie right in the mush. Everybody in the crowd gasps simultaneously, it was THAT good. Shane quickly realises what he's done and falls to his sister's side. The Posse drop everything and take Stephanie to the back. Replays of the wicked elbow - some camera angles are better than others - just suspend your disbelief, baby, suspend!
Austin invites us one more time to please tune in for Gvs.E Sunday.
Let Us Take You Back To Moments Ago as Shane Throws a Mean Elbow to His Sister
Let Us Take You Back to During the Break as Blackman and Shamrock continue fighting in the back -
now some of the prelim guys separate them -
hey! Tracy Smothers makes his RAW debut!
Michael King Cole talks to the Undertaker and Kane. Blood is thicker than water, says the Undertaker. Kane says nothin'. Undertaker talks about Austin's blood flowing like wine and then says he might drink some. Err...hopefully I just misheard that. Misheard what? The sound of Bob Ryder's computer's keyboard... meanwhile, Kane isn't exactly making eye contact...
The JVCKaboom!box Kaboom! of the week is the Undertaker's chair shot last week on RAW, busting the forehead of the Big Show wide open.
The Countdown to the Millenium is either way off, or pointing to something else. I say this because they're misspelling "millennium." Oh well, we'll know in four weeks!
UNDERTAKER & KANE (without Paul Bearer?) v. WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW & STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN - Kane brings the Great Big Metal Thing what Big Show done hit him with last night on Heat. Hey, how come the Big Shows never says "And that's the Last Word!" anymore? Kane meets the Big Show on the ramp and takes a swing, but Show ducks and hitssome meaty rights that cause Kane to drop his weapon. They trade blows but now it's 2 on 1 and the two are winnin'. Show actually down to one knee at one point...but there's the breaking glass and here comes the ass. Kane and Show left in the ring as Undertaker runs the ramp to meet Austin. Austin's all fists a-flyin'. Undertaker tries to leave, but Austin stops him, wheels him around and keeps on him. But Undertkaer sneaks in a shot. Cutting between the two pairs isn't helping me figure out what's going on. Kane taken to the commentary table. Another shot to the table. Meanwhile, Undertaker's rolled Austin off the edge of the stage and to the floor. Austin punched over a barricade while Kane is run into the STEEL steps. Austin fighting back with kicks and kneelifts. A piledrive on the concrete is avoided as Undertaker hits a backdrop instead. Big Show dropping Kane across the barricade. Undertaker choking Austin with a cable. But Austin hits the great equalizer squarely in the nuts. Austin getting a chance to use the cable. Now Austin taking Undertaker to the STEEL steps and all four are roughly in the same spot. Austin eats a right as he follows Undertaker into the ring. Off the ropes, duck, Thesz press by Austin and punches in bunches. Off the ropes, dropped elbow. Austin going for the top turnbuckle - but he can't get it off. Undertaker grabs Austin, but Austin's trick knee acts up. Austin STILL trying to get it off - now giving up (probably a good choice). Kicks and punches for the Undertaker. I believe Kane and Big Show are still playing around the steel steps. Austin wraps Undertaker's leg on the corner of the apron. Big Show and Kane are in the ring doing nothing while Undertaker and Austin fight to see who can hit whose head on the commentary table - Austin gets the shot on Undertaker. Kane and Big Show have dueling chokes - Big Show gets ahhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAM! All four men in the ring. Uppercut by the Undertaker on Austin.
Now Big Show on
Undertaker now - right hands, kick, kick, kick, Austin getting some kicks
in now. Austin with a right. Kane's gone back for the weapon, apparently.
Starburst Hard Candy Double Feature of the ahhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAM. Austin
sends Undertaker to Big Show for one on him, but Kane manages to waffle
Big Show with Whatever It Was. Austin sets Undertaker on the second rope,
but the Bossman straddle only finds rope and is very painful. Now Kane
standing on Austin's neck and Undertaker pulling on Kane's foot. Taking
turns with elbows. Austin tries to fire back but Undertaker is still in
command - kick, Stunner attempt shrugged off and he lands in the chokehold
of Kane. There's a chokehold of Kane's. Cover?? I forgot this was a
match - ah ha ha. 1, 2, Big Show pulls Kane off with one hand. Back to
the pairings. Undertaker knocking Austin down and the bandages are almost
all gone now. Big Show standing on the throat of Kane as he stands in
the corner. Nice powerslam on Kane but it's on the background as we're
watching Undertaker choke Austin. Here's another Starburst Double Feature
of Kane's chokeslam on Austin as Undertaker totally freaks out Ross into
saying something that gets muted by taking a chair and swinging it awfully
close to Ross - then swinging at the ringpost Austin is standing against -
but missing. Austin with rights and Undertaker falls to the floor.
Austin in the ring and hitting rights on Kane, but Kane turns the table
and punches away at Austin until he shins him in the groin. Austin
kicking and stomping - Undertaker attacking from behind and going for the
cut - and it's open again. Big Show takes Undertaker out of the ring with
a clothesline - Kane takes BIG SHOW out of the ring with a clothesline -
Kane turns back and turns into a kick to the gut and the Stone Cold
Stunner. 1, 2, 3. (10:23) Austin may be wearing the crimson mask - but
he's won the match tonight. If Austin bleeds at Fully Loaded like that,
his title goes to the Undertaker. Undertaker rolls his eyes in the back
of his head and does a Gene Simmons impersonation. Austin bleeds and also
makes faces. AND WE'RE OUT!