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/2 August 1999





I GET LETTERS: Matt Plunk waxes nostalgic:

"I was looking for your Archives checking something when I happened on this in your November 9th Raw: Montage of Jesse Ventura outrageous outfit clips (well, YOU tell me what the point of it was). I like the one of him and McMahon on horses the best. We hear that Mr. McMahon has given Jesse an invite to next week's live RAW. Wouldn't it be *something* if...naah, it'll never happen. Memphis newspaper has Lawler in an editorial cartoon dealing with Ventura's election - Lawler promises he's not running for anything anytime soon.

"How times have changed huh?"

The more things...the more they....yup.

TONIGHT: As we take a look at last night's explanation of the Alliance between the Undertaker and the Big Show, we learn that tonight we'll have a tag team match between Kane & Road Dogg and Big Show & Undertaker, as well as hearing from Shane McMahon as he breaks his silence on the End of an Era, and because we don't DARE have one of these promos without a picture of Austin - here's a picture of Austin!




One World Leader TV-14-DLV Attitude - WWF!

Closed captioned logo - huh? Opening Credits? But what happened last week? I'm all cornfoozled!

As the pyro and fireworks alight, the ACOLYTES stand in the entranceway - we're on the campus of Ohio State in scenic Columbus, OH 2.8.99 (but taped 27.7) and Bradshaw has the mic. The Acolytes are gonna stand in the ring until Big Show and Undertaker make their presence known. The fight they started last night ain't over yet. Faarooq promises that while the world might come to an end, so too will both their asses. But HARDCORE HOLLY is the one who shows up at the entranceway 'neath the TitanTron. "Well, well, well. Consider this your lucky night! Because, ya see, mah boys ain't here yet. But, the leader of the Super Heavyweights is, and that's me! So what do you wanna do?" "All right, Hardcore, which one of us do you want to hand you your ass?" "Which one? Which one. Hey, I'm the Big Shot - I'm here to take on BOTH your asses! either nut up - or shut up!" And he storms the ring. And Faarooq and Bradshaw promptly hand him his ass - off the ropes, double spinebuster. Clothesline from Hell. Dominator. Believe it or not, this actually gets all three men over. Here's the double powerbomb. ANOTHER double powerbomb. The Acolytes leave Holly laying in the middle of the ring.

Your hosts are JIM ROSS, JERRY LAWLER & TWO CANS OF HANSEN'S ENERGY DRINK. What an emotionally charged night! Undertaker and Big Show take on Kane and the Road Dogg. Jeff Jarrett and D'Lo Brown fight title for title! Shane McMahon breaks his silence! And a Bloodbath match...

Quick! Back to the back where Big Show, Undertaker and Paul Bearer have arrived. This can only mean one thing - and that one thing is - that - yes - they're WALKING!

Let Us Take You Back to Fully Loaded, where Edge was hot shotted on the ropes by Gangrel, causing him to lose the Intercontinental title. The next night on RAW is WAR, Gangrel took Christian out of a tag team match with Edge against the Acolytes, leaving Edge in a bad spot. Last night on Heat, we saw Gangrel and Christian hanging out together in the rafters. And finally, earlier tonight, TERRY TAYLOR wants a word from Edge about how he feels about Christian hanging with Gangrel. "I'm in disbelief - I'm hurt - I'm heartbroken - but I'm also angry. Christian has made his decision - I guess *I* have to live with it."

RAW is WAR is brought to you by FRAM! FRAM! FRAM! 10-10-321 and FRAM! And Castrol Motor Oily. And FRAM!

EDGE (you think you know him) v. GANGREL (with a burning ring o' far) in a Bloodbath match - Edge receives the first "scintillating" of the night. Ross says there's a vat of "simulated blood" outside the ring. The match ends when somebody's wearing it. In a strange twist, after the entrances we take an ad break.

Happy Hour is NEXT!

No opening bell, we must have started just out of the break - they're staring. Lockup, no. Staredown. Lockup, side headlock from Gangrel, to the ropes, off the ropes, shoulderblock from Gangrel - Gangrel tries to go out, but Edge stops him - Gangrel pounding away. Off the ropes, Gangrel with an elbowdrop. Again he goes outside, but Edge grabs him. Trading blows, off the ropes, duck, heel kick from Edge. Edge tries to go out but Gangrel stops him. Belly-to-back - no Edge flips through - side Russian legsweep from Edge. Off the ropes, reversal, head down, kick from Edge. Shoots him into the ropes, powerslam. Gangrel holds the ropes to stop Edge's move. Into the ropes, clothesline ducked, Edge shoots through to the outside, but Gangrel grabs the hair, then hot shots him off the top rope. Gangrel to the outside, elbow to the sternum, repeat, head to the corner of the ring.



Gangrel back in the ring, hey he's makin' faces! Got Edge by the hair - dropping him on the top rope, but Edge falls to the floor. Gangrel goes outside (GO FOR THE BLOOD!) and grabs Edge, then rolls him back in (STUPID!!) - stomp. Edge punches and elbows back, but Gangrel pulls the hair to take him back to the mat. Opposite corner whip, Edge gets a boot up - tornado DDT out of the corner! Both men down - both men up. Lariat from Edge. Off the ropes, hiptoss attempt fails. Wow - some kinda suplex I fail to recognise from Gangrel. He's outside - Edge grabs the hair and pulls him to the floor. Snap suplex on the floor as Edge follows him out. Edge runs for Gangrel who drops down, then takes him up and over - onto the STEEL steps. Both men back in the ring. Even Lawler wants him to get the blood. Gangrel on the top rope - but Edge under him - on his shoulders - superflapjack! Edge to the top rope - Gangrel crotches him. Superplex attempt by Gangrel hits! Gangrel outside - but instead of going for the blood, he grabs a steel chair and goes inside the ring. Edge hits a spinning heel kick on the chair, busting Gangrel open - whip into the rope, follow clothesline - hard Irish whip into the opposite corner, but Gangrel grabs the chair - Edge tries his spear and headbutts the chair instead. Jumpin' DDT from Gangrel and that should give him enough time to go outside and grab the blood. But the lights dim - the music plays - and when the lights come back up, CHRISTIAN stands over Gangrel, who's wearing the blood. Referee "Blind" Jim Korderas calls for the bell and awards the match to Edge (7:41). Christian in the ring - and the brothers embrace. I just LOVE a happy ending.

Backstage, we see Shane-O Mack - feel the excitement - he's WALKING!

Another shot sees Steve Austin arriving at the arena - please give me more WALKING!

Jesse "the Body" Ventura returns to the ring for an Out of Body Experience at SUMMERSLAM! 22 AUGUST!

The US Coast Guard (Slogan: "Guard the US Coast") presents the Rescue of the Week - the rescue of Jim Ross' tone deafness as he leads a crowd in "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye." Okay, YOU tell ME what exactly was rescued. Great last look back from Vince there.

"No Chance in Hell" welcomes SKIPPY to the ring. With VK out of the picture for now, we'll have to rely on Shane for the "asshole" chants and transcript-worthy soundbites. "I appreciate the compliment; however, I'm not deserving quite yet of that accolade. Now many of you were wondering where was Shane McMahon last Monday night when my father, Vincent K. McMahon, after 27 years of dedication, after 27 years of entertaining all of us, was there for his final television appearance. I was at home. I was watching that man in this ring - in this very ring - a man of unbelievable physical attributes, extreme mental acumen, a superior mental intellect, a man of unquestionable character, and a man who possess balls the size of grapefruits - I was watching that man live up to his guarantee - and his guarantee was that he walked off of his own show - the very show produced by his own company - never ever to be seen on television again. I was at home sitting on the edge of my couch, praying, hoping that all the fans in attendance, all the millions at home would pay Vince the proper respects because he is the father of the World Wrestling Federation. Vince McMahon was deserving of a farewall party such as that of Wayne Gretzky. Vince McMahon should have received a farewell greater than Michael Jordan's. But instead, what did all of you do? You all mocked him, with a little saying developed by Stone Cold Steve Austin, and delivered by Jim Ross. Jim, you and I have a little payback later on. By the way, Jimbo, how'd that little chant go again? 'Na na na na, na na na na, oh hell yeah, goodbye?'" Crowd dutifully starts singing again. "All of us are indebted to Vincent K. McMahon in one form of another. You see, Vince McMahon made the World Wrestling Federation into what it is today. The WWF is the best built brand in the entire entertainment universe! The WWF is more recognisable than Mickey Mouse and Walt Disney. The WWF is far more recognisable than Bugs Bunny and Time-Warner. You see, without Vincent K. McMahon, there would be none of us here this evening. None of us would even be able to experience this very show. We would never be able to buy a T-shirt. We would never ever have the experience of watching pay-per-view. You see, without Vincent K. McMahon, there would be no Stone Cold Steve Austin. There would be no Rock. There would be no Undertaker, no Big Show, no Triple H, no Chyna, no Kane, no X-P-A-C, no Road Dogg, no Mr. Ass, and the list continues to go on and on. Hell, without Vincent K. McMahon, there would not even be - Ted Turner's dubbayaceedubbaya rasslin'! Nor their entire roster, many of which Vince created a long time ago.


So we are all indebted to Vincent K. McMahon, so what's gonna happen now? What's gonna happen now that the head of the Corporation has been severed? We're gonna let this entire volcano of chaos erupt, and let's just find out what happens. 'Cause you see, in the meantime, I've been discussing with Triple H, at length, mind you, and Triple H has guaranteed me that at SummerSlam, it will be Stone Cold Steve Austin himself that will jump out of his own body and watch as Triple H pins Stone Cold's shoulders to the mat 1, 2, 3, and then Stone Cold will continue that Out of Body Experience as he watches Triple H leave this very ring at SummerSlam the new World Wrestling Federation champion. And you all know how big guarantees are in my family, and I am very confident that Triple H will deliver on his. Now as it relates to the Corporate Ministry, the entire Corporate Ministry is now free to do whatever they want to whomever they want until I deem it necessary to bring everybody back together - I'm focusing all my attention on one individual and one individual only, and that is you, Test. You know, Test, I know you're back there, I know that you can hear me, you big jacked up scumbag, but I guess you haven't heard my warning. Let me make it perfectly clear to you, Test, you stay away from my sister." TEST duly appears 'neath the TitanTron. "Shane-O, Shane-O, Shane-O. I told you ONCE to stay out of our business, but you didn't want to listen. So now I'm making YOU and those three former Gap employees MY business. It started last week with Fatass Pete Gas, and it's gonna keep going through Rodney and Joey Abs until it's just me and you. And after that, Shane-O, all the problems are gonna be gone - because Stephanie's gonna be an only child."

Backstage, Road Dogg and Kane - are ... WALKING! Dogg isn't sure Kane's paying attention to him.

Countdown to the Millennium - 168:26:07

Goldberg makes a rare appearance on RAW! Well, in an ad for "Universal Soldier: the Return"

The Rock gets cheffy with it! You know, *I* stand around ALL THE TIME, but they've never filmed a COMMERCIAL around it.

In the bathroom, AL SNOW and his dog (who Lawler calls PEPPER) try to flush HEAD down the toilet - but she don't fit. She does get a nifty swirly, though.

WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW & UNDERTAKER (with Paul Bearer) v. ROAD DOGG & THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE - Show & Kane have sinister new music, you know - well, I said this last night on Heat. Oh, I did a Heat report last night. Did you read it? It was okay. Let Us Take You Back to Last Week where we wrote X-Pac out of the script via an Undertaker beatdown. It's he, it's he, it's the deeohdubbajee. Kane rushes the ring, and is quickly doubleteamed. Dogg is in, and here's a Pier Four Brawl. I'm supposed to mention that the word "Armageddon" is being used at every opportunity but I'm just not in the mood. Show misses an elbow drop - double clothesline takes Show over the top rope! Double clothesline for Undertaker! Kane is outside and still on his brother. Undertaker rolled in - Dogg stickin' and movin' - referee "Blind" Mike Chioda tries to break it up, but that give Undertaker just enough of a break to get an advantage - Dogg squirts free - off the ropes - Undertaker catching him in a choke but Kane is in and pounding his back - Kane chases the ref out, while Big Show comes in and runs over the Dogg. Undertaker stomping on Dogg now that order has sort of been maintained. 'taker taking Dogg's head to the buckle. Stomp, hairpull, elbow. Big Show's boot directed up, Dogg's head run into it. Tag to Show, who distracts the ref while 'take delivers on elbow from the outside onto the apron. Off the ropes, Dogg ducks but gets caught trying a crossbody - backbreaker 'cross the knee. Camel clutch - no, I guess just a rear chinlock. Headbutt. Show getting instruction from the Undertaker, so says the story. Elbowdrop. 1, 2, Kane kicks to make a save. Undertaker in as the referee tries to put Kane outside the ring. Blatant doubleteaming. Show draping Road Dogg across his shoulder - Dogg squirming and shaking free - Golota! And you just KNOW Show's got some big ones.


Dogg crawling to make the tag - but Show tags Undertaker, who grabs him. But his trick knee acts up, so he DOES make the tag. Undertaker falls to a top rope flying clothesline! Clothesline takes Big Show over the top. I think it's bad form to say "Kane is on fire!" Head to the buckle, whip into tehe opposite corner, follow lariat, right, right, right, uppercut, off the ropes, big boot, dropkick to Big Show on the outside. Kane's stopped when he turns back around, though. Meanwhile, Dogg has a chair on the outside. Kane ducks, and chokes - CHOKESLAM!! Kane pulls a thumb across his throat. Show has the chair after putting the Dogg down with a punch. Kane dumps off Undertaker as he sees Show on the apron. Hot shot from the Big Show on Kane - Undertaker grabs him and there's the Tombstone. 1, 2, 3. (6:18) Wow, these are like long (for the WWF) matches. Big Show hits a big splash for good measure. Dogg crawls into the ring to check on Kane but we look back up the ramp as the ACOLYTES stalk to the ring...but behind THEM is HARDCORE HOLLY with a cricket bat (or "club") and both Acolytes get the Gillooly/Kerrigan treatment. Holly walks to the ring, where he tells the Big Show & Undertaker that his patience is running thin with them.

Backstage, the ROCK arrives at the arena (is EVERYONE allowed to arrive late now that Vince is off television?), where he harasses a fan, then throws money at the guy who carries his bags. Let's show you the Pirates game yesterday where the Rock threw out the first pitch.

The JVCkaboom! of the week is Mr. Ass and Chyna doing a number on the Rock - from last week's show

"WWF Attitude" from Acclaim Sports ad

Jesse "the Body" Ventura will be live next Monday?? Wow, what a tough call - Jess Ventura or Chad Brock.... hmmm... let me think on that...

Let Us Take You Back Eight Days to Fully Loaded (courtesy WWF Home Video) where Triple H managed to score the fall on the Rock to gain the #1 Contendor's slot - but not without some help from his friends

KING ASS & THAT SLUT CHYNA get in the ring. Why is Lawler so anxious to see his ass? "Finally the 1999 King of the Ring and the World's Greatest Athlete has come here tonight to talk about ASS. And one in particular. Because at SummerSlam it's Mr. Ass - the premiere, the primo, the perfect ass - versus the People's Ass. And you know who I'm talking about - the Rock." Crowd chants "Rocky." "Because my ass is everything he wishes his was. Beautiful - elegant - and well-manicured. You don't believe me? Well, I've got proof. You see, earlier today I caught the Rock stepping out of the shower and I took a picture of the People's Ass - so the MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of the Rock's fans could check it out." And up on the TitanTron is - ewwww....I don't know WHOSE ass that is, but we didn't need it. Ass adjusts his facial position, Rock style. "Now, you can cheer that - or you can kiss my Royal Ass." ROCK appears on the TitanTron. Rock identifies the ass in question as Mr. Ass' momma. Requisite "straight up your candyass" interview.


The "piss" this week doesn't come from a monkey, at least. TV-14-DLV ratings box reappears to mark the beginning of hour number two a minute late.

Earlier today, D'Lo Brown fed Mark Henry some fruits 'n' vegetables - and love.

JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (with De-Bra) v. D'LO BROWN in a Title for Title match - Let Us Take You Back to Last Week where Ben Stiller had great fun - well, until the figure four. Strangely enough, Brown is NOT announced as hailing from any particular European city. Lockup, go behind from Jarrett, punches traded, clothseline from Jarret, shoulderblock from Brown. Semi-clean break - Jarret with a kick, Jarrett takes control. Off the ropes, duck, Rydeen bomb by Brown for 2. Fireman's carry takeover for 2 for Brown. Running powerslam by Brown for 2. Jarrett decides that's enough 2 counts for now and rolls outside - referee "Blind" Tim White puts on the count but Jarrett drags Brown out instead. It's D'Lo, however, dropping Jarrett on the STEEL steps. Brown on the second turnbuckle - but he meets a dropkick. Kneedrop from Jarrett, lariat, lariat, choke on the second rope - Chef Boyardee brings you the doublefeature of the dropkick. Time now for the Bossman slide-under-uppercut. Back in - head to the buckle. Right hand, Brown fires back with three rights. Hard whip into the corner, but Brown puts up the boot. Jarrett comes back with an ambar takedown. Shut up, Lawler. Back to the armbar for Jarrett. Off the ropes, sleeper. Brown to one knee. Arm falls once, arm falls twice, arm nae falls thrice. Elbow, elbow, out of it, off the ropes, knee to the gut and Brown flips. Stomp on the lower abs. Off the ropes, reversed, head down, swinging neckbreaker from Brown for 2. Headlock - but Brown elbows out - off the ropes - up and over - double leg takedown - catapult into the turnbuckle. Jarrett tries to come back with the punch, but Brown slips it and connects with one of his own. Slam. Standing legdrop. 1, 2, no. Brown has Jarrett in the corner - time for the ten punch count along. Whip is reversed, but Brown ducks and White takes the brunt of the blow. With the ref out, Brown hits the Sky-Hi on Jarrett. Now Debra's in the ring with both title belts. But she drops them to the mat and unbuttons her top instead. Brown does a brief Mark Henry-like tongue manouevre, but instead grabs a belt and waffles Jarrett with it. Cover - White's up - 1, 2, 3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a NEW Intercontinental Champion. (6:13) Jarrett's finally rousted, and he's angry. After some words for Debra, he grabs her hand and drags her off.

SummerSlam spot #2

"Universal Soldier: the Return" ad #2



Chyna & Triple H plug "GvsE"

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago Where D'Lo Brown Kept Focus To Become Double Champion - and just a smidge later where Jarrett blame Debra for losing his belt

Terry Taylor caught up with Jarrett & Debra during the break - "the only reason I'm not the Intercontinental Champion is one reason and one reason only - and that's Debra." Jarrett says he wants a rematch - Brown didn't beat him, Debra did. Can we add it to SummerSlam?

Hey, there's Austin! And - oh man - he's WALKING!

"WWF Attitude" ad #2

I hear glass, time for the ass as STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN makes his way to the ring. Ventura on RAW next Monday LIVE! Beleeev it! Austin has yet another T-shirt and also his Smokin' Skull belt. He's gonna whip Triple H's ass. BIG SHOW & UNDERTAKER (and Paul Bearer) spoil another five star interview by deigning to show up. "We all know you talk the talk, now we're gonna find out if you walk the walk. Because in one minute, if you don't give me my return title shot that I so duly deserve, we are gonna stomp - what do you say? A mudhole in your ass--" and the doubleteam is on. Wow, Austin being just FLATTENED here. Their new music plays and they walk off, leaving Austin laying in the ring. Oh, it's Armageddon or something. Yeah.

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago - "We all know you talk the talk, now we're gonna find out if you walk the walk. Because in one minute, if you don't give me my return title shot that I so duly deserve, we are gonna stomp - what do you say? A mudhole in your ass--" and the doubleteam is on. Wow, Austin being just FLATTENED here. What do you MEAN, you just read that? "During the Break" footage shows Austin holding his innards and slowly walking up the ramp.

MICHAEL KING COLE works tonight - and stands in front of an exciting DOOR!



BIG BOSSMAN v. VISCERA for the Hardcore Championship - So sad to see former friends collide. Hey, black guy vs. prison guard - who are YOU gonna pick? After that belly-to-belly suplex, I pick Viscera. Whip into the corner - avalanche splash - shoulderblock takes Bossman outside the ring. Viscera follows. Bossman somehow summons the strength to come back with punches but Viscera muscles him into the STEEL steps. Unfortunately, hs goes over the barricade as Bossman sidesteps a charge. Time to walk through the crowd. Next week, not only Jesse Ventura, but the Millennium clock should hit zero. All right! A table! A fire extinguisher! THIS IS HARDCORE! Viscera placing Bossman on the table - running start - Bossman moves at the last minute and Viscera goes through the table on his own. Bossman has his mace out - telescoping nightstick liberally applied. 1, 2, 3. (3:17 says I just missed your ass)

"Universal Soldier: the Return" ad #3 - I think Austin can be GLAD he didn't end up in this movie, checking out Goldberg in these ads...

Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight - "We all know you talk the talk, now we're gonna find out if you walk the walk. Because in one minute, if you don't give me my return title shot that I so duly deserve, we are gonna stomp - what do you say? A mudhole in your ass--" and the doubleteam is on. Wow, Austin being just FLATTENED here. What do you MEAN, you just read that?

Cole tries to ask Austin wassup, but Austin grabs the mic and tells the Undertaker he can have his rematch tonight - and Big Show can...I missed the rest of that.

Hey, there's Triple H! And he's - whoa - steady now - he's - ahhh - WALKING! - it's like an anal probe. I THINK that's what this spot says.

"During the Break" footage shows Triple H throwing a tantrum after Chyna informed him of the title match happening tonight

TEST v. RODNEY - Rodney attacks before the bell, and is soon joined by JOEY ABS outside the ring. Whip into the STEEL ringpost. Various streetfighting moves - rolled into the ring and referee "Blind" Teddy Long can now call for the opening bell. Kneelift from Rodney - off the ropes, big-time clothesline from Test. Rodney goes outside, Test goes over the top rope (just like Diesel!) and attacks. Axehandle. Head to the mat.


Driven into the STEEL steps. Pushed into the STEEL ringpost. Thrown back in the ring. There's a hammerlock into a slam on the arm. Several rights. That same slam again. Off the ropes, legdrop on the right arm, again - it appears that Test is after the right arm here. Scoop and a slam. Test setting him up for the Savage elbow. Right on the arm. Test outside and to the top rope again - another elbow on the elbow (huh?). Test returns to the hammerlock and Rodney gives it up. (2:29) But Test isn't done - he gets a chair, then chases Long out of the ring. Test Pillmanizes Rodney's arm. JOEY ABS returns but is held at bay. One man stands between Test and Shane, and you're lookin' at him. And I think we just wrote out another Mean Street Posse member. One more chair shot to the arm for good measure. Play his music a fourth time, what the hell!

Michael King Cole tries to interview Triple H, who grabs him by the shirt, says some stuff that gets bleeped, says "My Time" a couple million times, and says that tonight's match won't possibly take place.

Happy Hour is NEXT!

Hey, how about another "Universal Soldier: the Return" ad. How come I see more of these on RAW? Or am I imagining that?

167:06:58 until the Millennium!

Backstage, Undertaker and Big Show chat about the upcoming title matchup. Did I mention it was No Holds Barred? Well, I did now.

Chef Boyardee brings you SUMMERSLAM! FEED THE NEED!

STEVE BLACKMAN (with Riggs & Murtaugh & weapons bag) makes his way to the ring. And then he SPEAKS! "First of all, I want everyone to see what happened last week. So let's go - roll the footage. Second, I didn't know Ken was standing behind that car when I backed up. Listen up, I don't need a car to kick that sorry bastard's ass - all I need is my hands and my feet - why do you think I'm called the Lethal Weapon?"

STEVE BLACKMAN v. VAL VENIS - THIS is DEFINITELY the match *I'D* book in the final quarter hour. But, like I doubt my tastes are indicative of the public tastes at large. Val takes the mic and tells us his dick is like the Internet. I didn't need to hear that. Blackman promptly kicks Venis' ass with a variety of kicks and punches. Venis gets a brief comeback with his whip/clothesline combos and side Russian legsweep - into a nice submission stretch. Blackman counters this with a good ol' elbow to the testes. And one more. Here's a blow to the head. Head to the canvas. Off the ropes, sweeping kick. Stomping away. Head to the buckle. Right hand. Kick, kick, whip is reversed, Venis with a double leg takedown and cover for 2. Blackman busts out a Northern Lights suplex for 2 - THE MAN! Venis with his Perfectplex but Blackman kicks out at 2. Venis takes Blackman's head to the buckle, whip into th opposite corner, lariat, repeat, hiplock takeover, Venis on the second turnbuckle but he EATS a big boot in the mulekick position. Off the ropes, back elbow, and now Blackman flees as KEN SHAMROCK has appeared with a chain around his fist. Shamrock actually catches up and lets loose with a chained fist before JIM DOTSON can separate them. Then Shamrock goes after him again. Repeated chain punches until the cadre of referees


and SERGEANT SLAUGHTER manage to briefly constrain Shamrock - Blackman crawls away. (Under three)

Say, there's Austin! And - whoa - he's WALKING!

Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight, where Undertaker said "...if you don't give me my return title shot that I so duly deserve, we are gonna stomp - what do you say? A mudhole in your ass--" and the doubleteam is on. What do you MEAN, you've read this before?

UNDERTAKER (with Well It's the Big Show & Paul Bearer) v. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN in a No Holds Barred match for the WWF Championship - it could be just me, but by MY watch we're already two minutes into overtime and this must be a REAL short title match. Make that three. But instead of Austin, it's TRIPLE H in the ring. "This ain't happening, dead man! In case you haven't been paying attention around here, I'M the #1 contender. That means if you want him, you've gotta go through me. This is MY TIME - and you're on it. Now somebody's gonna kick his ass and take his belt, but it's not gonna be you - it's gonna be me. I'm gonna kick this sonofabitch's ass, so either take it -" whoops, Austin has made his way to the ring without his music (I didn't know that was POSSIBLE!) and is punching away on Helmsley. Well, now Big Show and Undertaker are involved. Undertaker on Austin - Big Show on Helmsley - ACOLYTES are out. I'm guessing this is a Royal Rumble - there's THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE - there's ROAD DOGG - there's HARDCORE HOLLY, going straight for the Acolytes. KING ASS is out. ROCK is out. The fight's spilling out of the ring and into the surrounding area. Helmsley hits the Pedigree on Dogg as Austin hits the Stunner on Ass - they turn to stare at each other - and we're gone!

Hey, those closing credits look different. What's "WWF Entertainment, Inc.?" And what happened to "TitanSports?"


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Copyright (C) 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications