/18 October 1999
WWF RAW is WAR
at Ohio State University! Test finally gets his hands on
the British Bulldog! Triple H is still WWF Champion - he'll be here!
The Rock will be here! Stone Cold Steve Austin will be here! My God, I
can't wait through the last ten minutes of "Walker!"
One World Leader Attitude - WWF!to publicly say stuff like that
where McMahon would here it - he's ALWAYS looking for an excuse to make
the main event No Holds Barred. Later in the night, the Rock threw out a
challenge to the winner of the main event, only to be surprised by Triple
H and a sledgehammer. IN that title match, referee Mike Chioda took the
brunt of a collision and was unable to count to 3 following the Stunner,
giving us JUST enough time to watch the Rock come out. But the
interference ended up misplaced as Rock buried the head of the
sledgehammer deep in the abdomen of AUSTIN. After a Pedigree on the Rock,
Triple H was more than happy to cover Austin for the 1, 2, 3.|
Closed captioned opening credits...aren't, really
FIREWORKS! BRING A SIGN! WE ARE LIVE from the campus of Ohio State University in the Unnamed Arena at Some City In, OH 18.10.99 and broadcast on the USA Network (and sooner or later, TSN)!
LA ROCA kicks off tonight's political insight and round table discussion. A quick check of his invitingly open $500 shirt reveals no taped ribs, but there is a fairly large bandage, no doubt covering a fairly large booboo. The Rock proclaims that he's finally come back to Ohio State, while the crowd chants the name of the Mystery City. Rock says that Survivor Series is set - Rock and Triple H. Rock points to "the People's Ribs." Last night, the Rock didn't mean to hit Austin with the hammer - it was meant for Triple H's roody poo candyass. Rock's gonna whup up on Triple H's monkey ass while the fans chant his name, then he'll rectally insert the sledgehammer. Crowd sings along - this is the new "Rocky Horror Picture Show," you know. Unfortunately, before Rock gets to say "...is cooking," the sound of breaking glass brings STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN to the ring. He's carrying a mic of his own. I'm guessing tonight he'll say "that's all I got to say about that." Austin takes issue with Rock declaring himself the #1 Contender - if it wasn't for the sledgehammer shot, Rock would be taking on HIM for the title at Survivor Series, and that's what he's got to say about that. "Jesus Christ" gets muted, along with half of whatever he's saying right now. Anyway...if he's got a problem with it, feel free to remove the silk shirt. Rock places the mic on the mat, undoes the cuffs, removes the shirt. Austin loosens his jersey...but "No Chance in Hell" fires up and VINCENT K. walks (swaggers?) to the ring. "Well, as much as ah - as I would personally like to see the two of you beat the hell out of each other. We've heard your point of view, Rock - and Stone Cold, we've certainly heard your point of view at all. But the point of view we haven't heard is perhaps the most important point of view. And that would be the point of view of Triple H - the World Wrestling Federation champion. So Triple H, I know you can hear me - I'm sure you're watching the Rock and Stone Cold - so, why don't we hear from you - why don't we hear what your opinion is on this subject matter. Come on out, Triple H, come on! Come on, Triple H! You wanna face the Rock, Triple H or you wanna face Stone Cold? What about it, Triple H?" Everyone's favourite theme fires up and there's TREBLE H 'neath the EntertainmentTron. He holds the title belt high for the loving crowd, the mocks the crowd for expecting to see Austin make a triumphant return with the belt. While it probably pisses off the crowd, it's not nearly as much as the three folks in the ring. "Vince, how long before you realise you can't get the job done. It doesn't matter whether you book me against five guys at one time, it doesn't matter whether you change the stipulations at the last minute, it doesn't matter whether you bring in the almighty Austin - I will always come out on top. Now Vince, last night you stuck your nose in my business, and you got your lights knocked out for it. Rock, you stuck your nose in my business, and you got a bunch of busted ribs and internal bleeding. Austin--" [pause for
"asshole" chant] "Austin, you crossed paths with me last night...and what
the toughest SOB got - what the Man got - was he got BEAT." "Now Triple
H, I asked you out here for your opinion, that's all. Now, do you want to
face the Rock at Survivor Series, or do you want to face Stone Cold Steve
Austin at Survivor Series - what is your opinion?" "Vince, you know what
I think?" "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR OPINION IS!" Somehow, I expected
VINCE to say that instead of the Rock... "Well, you know, Triple H - I
got it, Triple H - I know exactly what you're thinkin'. I mean, let's
face it - come on, Triple H, you're the Game, okay? You're the greatest
player to ever play the Game! You're the World Wrestling Federation
champion! I know what you're thinkin'! You're thinkin' you want to face
Stone Cold Steve Austin at Survivor Series. You're thinkin' - you're
thinkin' you want to face the Rock at Survivor Series - yeah. You know
what? I bet you're even thinkin' you want to face them both on the same
night at Survivor Series. I mean, let's face it, you being the Game and
all, why, you want to not only face them both on the same night, you want
to face them at the same time - yeah! And that's why, Triple H, at
Survivor Series, you will defend the WWF Championship in a Triple Threat
match against both Austin and the Rock!" McMahon's music plays while
Triple H seethes in the direction of the ring. Austin, neve taking his
eyes off the Rock, leaves the ring next as we cut to a shot of
Your hosts are JIM ROSS & JERRY LAWLER - Triple H won't be taking this laying down, you can bet. Austin and Rock still have their eyes locked on each other. Tonight, Test takes on the British Bulldog! And....some more stuff, I guess...
No Mercy encore presentation promo - it is TUESDAY!
Tonight RAW is brought to you by the JVCkaboom!Box, the Air Force (the WHOLE Air Force?) and Castrol Motor Oily!
THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE & X-PAC (with an invigorating can of Hansen's Energy Drink) v. DUDLEY BOYZ - "Every week we come out here - you people make fun of the way I t-t-t-t-t-talk! Well at least I CAN talk...have you ever listened to yourself, boy? (monotone) 'My name is Kane...I'm a big red r-r-r-r...'" and Kane puts him in a choke - D-Von attacks from behind and it's on. All four men brawling away despite the good intentions of referee "Blind" Mike Chioda. Finally some semblance of order is restored as D-Von and X-Pac stay in the ring. X-Pac with one o' them martial arts kicks - and already the bronco buster is on - but he stops to pose in the corner, B. B. Ray splashes him from behind. Kane is in but the Dudleyz scatter. Kane follows, Chioda follows HIM and nearly gets waffled for his troubles. Back in the ring, D-Von hits a flying headbutt to the groin while Chioda is preoccupied with Kane. The HEAD BANGERS are out while there's a scoop slam. Second rope splash misses - spent too much time talking to the Bangers, I think. Tag to B.B. - tag to Kane. It's all Kane, it is. Big boot. Big boot to D-Von. Scoop - and a slam. Clothesline to take D-Von out of the ring. Top rope - flying clothesline! Off the ropes - but D-Von hooks the top rope to take him outside. Chioda's attention turns to the brawl outside, while Thrasher climbs onto the apron - Dudley turns around to eat an enzuigiri from X-Pac and there's a chokeslam from Kane. 1, 2, 3. (2:47) Mosh takes the mic and heaps insult on injury - Pier Four Brawl soon follows. We're gonna need more than one referee to separate THIS battle! I believe we have a new feud brewing, folks...
Backstage, the Acolytes are playing cards with Hughes and Finkel, and several cans of Hansen's Energy Drink. Faarooq is winning all of Hughes' money, apparently. He's probably cheating, 'cause there's no WAY a mental giant like Hughes could POSSIBLY lose at poker! We also establish that Finkel washed Hughes' car.
Meanwhile, the Hollys ask McMahon to put his coffee down and listen to the them. They're the only good superheavyweight team in the WWF, and last night they beat the New Age Outlaws. Never mind that is was a disqualification - they deserve a title shot. McMahon says he's not sure if they deserve it or not, but it'll be an entertaining match, so enjoy.
Here's an exterior shot of ... wherever we are. WHY is it such a
mytsery? Who can know.
BIG BOSSMAN comes to the ring and has words for the Big Show. He doesn't feel sorry for his father, except for having Show for a son. He asks him to grow some balls, come down and take him on for the Hardcore championship.
MICHAEL KING COLE is backstage with FABULOUS MOOLAH & MAE YOUNG. Cole tries to interview Moolah, but Young keeps interrupting. If you're just WAITING for the brawl to break out, you not only have some specialised tastes in women, but you're right. Why yes, such a titanic clash can only be settled...in the ring? Oy.
Meanwhile, KEVIN "NAILZ" KELLY stands with WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW. He's going to set aside his problems and focus on Bossman and the Hardcore champion - he'll snap him right in half.
Meanwhile, in another part of the building, TEST is ... why ... he's WALKING!
"Mark Henry's 4th Sex Therapy Session" is with a .. somewhat older, dowdy woman. Henry talks about the problems that he's had with his first three therapists. The doc asks Henry if he's ever had a nice, friendly NONsexual hug? Henry tries to laugh it off, but she says this is serious. Want to try it? Of course, the doc is so overcome from the Sexual Chocolateness of it all, that she succumbs to his ... oh, let's move on.
GODFATHER (with eight - no, FOUR ho's) v. VISCERA (with Mide-i-e-i-on [with "Midian" tights]) - hey, that one chick is wearing one of Madusa's old bikinis! Speaking of women, Thursday's SmackDown! will see Moolah defend the Women's title against...yup. Surely a ratings bonanza! Viscera tries to strike first, but Godfather ducks and takes it to him. Double reversal on the whip, but Godfather tries the kicks, and clotheslines. STLIL not taking him down, there's a dropkick - and Viscera falls! Viscera, however, is still a big fat guy, and that Samoan drop HAD to hurt. Crowd chants "USA" for the one ho with an unhealthily large rack. Godfather punching away, off the ropes - Viscera hits his alleged spinning heel kick for 2. Scoop - and a slam. Off the ropes - but the splash misses! Kick, kick, kick, off the ropes, shoulderblock to take down Viscera. Viscera staggers to the corner - must be time once again for everybody to come aboard the Ho Train - but instead, he runs into Mideon, who's up on the apron. That's just enough of a distraction for Viscera to attack from behind. BIG ASS SPLASH!! 1, 2, 3. (2:09) Viscera may have won but Godfather still has
all that ass
Back to the poker game, Faarooq wins again. Finkel holds the spit cup for Hughes - who spits on him. The Acolytes are laughing, and Finkel is shaking his head in worry.
Mankind roams the halls searching for the Rock - and to roam, you must be WALKING!
If you can't see the WWF LIVE on Friday, 26 November in San Jose, then you're in luck! Tickets go on sale Saturday for WWF at the Cow Palace in San Francisco Saturday, 27 November! This Saturday meet *Terri Runnels* at the box office!
Lugz brings you the boot of the week - Chyna and Jeff Jarrett using a variety of interesting objects on each other from yesterday's Good Housekeeping match at No Mercy - culminating, of course, in Chyna's gee-tar shot and pin to capture the IC title.
Mankind finds Rock and breaks the news of the tag team title defense to the Rock, who doesn't care. Mankind says that unlike in the past, tonight HE'LL carry the team against the Hollys. Rock asks who the Hollys are. Mankind presents a copy of his book to the Great One - Rock asks which page he's on. Mankind says he's also got a special bookmark - Mr. Rocko. Rock says he's not gonna touch that, despite Mankind giving it a rinseroo at the Super 8 sink. Rock says since Mankind won it, he can keep it. "Wow...do you ever stop giving?"
Hey it's THAT SLUT CHYNA along with a similarly-clad MISS KITTY. Now THAT'S a frightening sight. "Last night at No Mercy, I think I proved to the world that I can beat any man at any time. I am the only female Intercontinental champion in the history of the WWF. That feels pretty damn good. I know a lot of guys have a problem with that in the back, so I'm gonna tell 'em that I'm a worthy champion, and any of the guys that think they have the balls to come out here and take it from me can give it a shot. But take my warning - if you guys can't handle the heat, stay out of my kitchen." The Y2J countdown starts! "Welcome to RAW is JERICHO! You know, I LOVE being in this business, and I love being the absolute best in this business. I've always been proud, never been ashamed to be a part of it...until now. Because standing in the ring is the greatest embarrassment that this business has ever seen - standing in the ring is proof that this business is in a downward spiral, especially the World Wrestling Federation. Standing in the ring is Chyna, the new Intercontinental champion, and that makes me ABSOLUTELY SICK. I mean, what used to be the second most important championship in this entire industry, held by such legends as Ricky Steamboat, Randy Savage, Rick Rude, the Mountie is now in the hands of an incompetent WOMAN - I mean, the last shreds of credibility that this business had were thrown away when the powers that be decided that this...girl was championship material. I mean, just the thought of you as a credible and believable champion is an idea even more ridiculously enhanced than your breasts are. You know, Y2J is no Double J, and you're not gonna get no cakewalk, Good Housekeeping matches with me, sister. No, you see, I would never, EEEEVER hit a woman - but you are not a woman. YOU are a hideous, grotesque freak of nature, and I will BEAT the living HELL out of you to restore some credibility to that belt, and when I do so - all of these Jerichoholics will chant my name..." Meanwhile, Chyna's rared back and given Jericho a wallop with the belt - he shouldn't have turned his back while standing on the apron! Jericho does a gainer, then sails over the commentary table. Chyna's music plays and they walk off while Jericho throws a tantrum.
Split screen shows Test and Bulldog preparing for their match
BRITISH BULLDOG (already in the
ring) v. TEST (with RAW credits and
TV-14-DLV ratings box) - Let Us Take You Back to
Rebellion, where an
errant trashcan caused a soap opera to break out. Test is carrying a
rather sizable trashcan to the ring. Referee "Blind" Jim Korderas thinks
that trashcans don't belong in matches - what a killjoy. Test shoves him
aside, but Bulldog meets him on the floor and gets the first shot in.
Test whipped into the STEEL steps. Into the ring we go, and the opening
bell sounds. Bulldog with a vertical suplex that doesn't last it's usual
half hour. Test takes Bulldog into the corner, but he springs out with a
clothesline. Head to the buckle, headbutt, headbutt, headbutt, I would
describe the pace as "deliberate." Into the opposite corner, headbutt in
the gut. The next charge misses - Test with the gutwrench...into a
powerbomb. Both men up slow. Test with
"Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine" twice - full nelson slam. INto the
corner, ducks coming out. Bulldog has him on the shoulder - but Tes
shakes him off, gutshot, pumphandle - powerslam. Test goes outside the
ring and brings in the garbage can. Here's...the MEAN STREET POSSE?
Bulldog calls them off - then takes the trashcan to Test's back. Again -
and one more time. A second ref comes in but we need a running powerslam
first. All right, there you go. (DQ?
No contest? 2:16)
Meanwhile, back at the poker game - Hughes has a lot of personal items in the pot now. Faarooq raises, but Hughes has nothing left. Bradshaw helpfully suggests "bet the bitch!" Hughes places finkel in the pot. Hughes has a full house - Faarooq only has two pair - of sevens. The Acolytes are generous, however - they give him his clothes back. But they DO walk off with Finkel.
Meanwhile, Al Snow is walking down the hall - ready to hawk a loogie into the trashcan - until he spies something. Swallowing his load, Snow is shocked to find a copy of Mankind's autobiography in the trash - why, someone needs to inform Mick of this travesty! And that someone must be... Al Snow!
This is Attitude - for the PlayStation!
Al Snow catches up with Mankind - and breaks the news to him. Mankind doesn't want to believe it at first, but you can see the expression on his face change...
BALD VENIS (already in the ring) v. AL SNOW - Venis runs down the relationship between Snow and Mankind by way of giving this match meaning. Snow is Mankind's "gopher boy," apparently. Venis slides out while Snow slides in - well, that was dumb. Venis gets caught on his way back in. Snow stomping away on him. Right hand, repeat, reapear, repeat, into the corner, Venis up and over, forearm to the back, repeated rights. Whip into the corner, Snow slides through - back up with a clothesline. Venis slides out, Snow follows, Venis on him on the outside. They're trading blows now. Head to the barricade. Whip into the barricade is reversed by Snow. Referee "Blind" Teddy Long trying, unsuccessfully, to get them back in the ring. Snow drops an elbow. NOW we're back in the ring, but Venis gets in some licks while Snow is trying to come back in. Snow manages his patented "hold down the arms and headbutt his chest" spot. Back in the ring - over the top of Venis' back - off the ropes, big boot from Venis. Off the ropes - there's a rollup by Venis for 2.
Snow gets a
backslide for 2. Quick succession of near falls as this approaches a
wrestling match! Two or three counters and each man gets ANOTHER near
fall. Venis punching away - off the ropes - collision fails to work in
Venis' favour, though. Snow has him in the wheelbarrow race position -
then whips him overhead and backwards into a move that videogame players
will know the name of. Snow motioning to the top rope - moonsault MISSES!
Venis with a gutshot, there's the fisherman suplex - 1, 2, shoulder up!
That move NEVER works! Snow with an elbow, Venis with one of his own.
Snow sets him up, belly-to-back suplex - only 2! Crowd is silent,
confused by all this wrestling. Both men punch simultaneously - Venis
manages a side Russian legsweep and gives the high sign. Slowly climbing
to the top - Snow meets him there. Dueling punches - Venis pushes him
back to earth, then hits the Money Shot - 1, 2, 3. That was a nice little
piece of wrestling, that. (4:39) Venis with a cheapshot
stomp for good measure on his way out.
A splilt screen shows Bossman and Big Show preparing for their hardcore matchup coming up
Meanwhile, Mankind dejectedly WALKS down the hall, looking for the Rock.
Mankind, shockingly enough, finds Rock in the exact same place he left him earlier in the show. "How could you do that? HOW COULD YOU?! I give you a present - I give you something I've worked hard on - and you just *throw it away*?" "What are you talking about, your book?" "No it's not my book, it's my life! It's my work, it's my blood, my sweat, my tears, and you'd take it and you'd throw it away!" Mankind let's loose with a "God dammit" so the helpful USA censor blows away a good portion of this part. It's not about the Rock'n'Sock Connection, it's about "the fact that I give, I give, I give, and you keep on taking. And so I say to you, DUANE - I say you piss on everything I believe in, I say PISS on you, you self-centered, egotistical, self-righteous son of a bitch!" Rock is ready to let loose with "the Rock says..." but Mick interrupts him. "No, I say this! I say this. I say I don't want to know you, I don't want to fight you, Rock - I don't want to WORK with you, I don't wanna even know you exist. So one last time I walk down the aisle tonight, and after that - everything, everything, you and me, no more! You live with that! And grow up."
BIG BOSSMAN v. WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW for the Hardcore title and the right to have the first name "Big" - the music plays, but we're not seeing the Big Show. We cut backstage, where it appears that some bad news is being delivered...sure enough, Show breaks down and cries...
Back in the ring, Bossman is asking referee "Blind" Chad Patten to declare a forfeit - and he complies. Hey, don't they usually get a second introduction? Oh well. (Forfeit)
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago where Big Show did indeed receive the news that his father died of cancer. Ewww, he DROOLED!
The commentators express their condolences to the Big Show. Of course, the fact that they're several years late makes the whole thing feel a little eerie...
OUTLAWS v. ACOLYTES (with Howard
Finkel) - Dogg finally reveals that we're in
Columbus. Hey, Gunn's been sneaking into Lenny's supply of body glitter!
The Acolytes, on the other hand, FINALLY have some new music, along with a
new valet - the Fink's wearing a muscle shirt, wraps on his biceps, and a
generally unhappy look. Mr. Ass starts with Faarooq. Lockup, knee to the
gut from Faarooq, clubbin' blows to the back of the head, off the ropes,
Ass SNAPS the top rope - Faarooq improvises a cover for 2. Stomp, stomp,
into the ropes, leapfrog from Gunn, can't go off that rope, dropkick for
2. This match will probably be a problem with no top rope. Tag to
Bradshaw - drop toehold from Gunn - neckbreaker. Stomping away - into the
corner - splash attempt is CAUGHT, and there's a fallaway slam. Gunn
tossed to the outside, where Faarooq takes him to the STEEL steps.
Thrown back in to Bradshaw - somehow the shoulder rolls up at 2.
Bradshaw stomping away. Right hand. Faarooq puts up the boot for
Bradshaw to run him into. Tag in - whip into the opposite corner, Faarooq
RIPS the turnbuckle and top rope with him as he falls backward - 1, 2, no.
Dogg is confused as hell that there's no top rope. Faarooq steps on the
neck while referee "Blind" Tim White relays some instructions. Faarooq
kicks Ass outside - is he bleeding? Bradshaw with a right on the outside.
Kick to the head. Now Dogg is over to help out - White gets Dogg back to
his corner, then tries to attend to Bradshaw, while Faarooq grabs the
loose turnbuckle and waffles Gunn with it. Cover - 1, 2, Dogg makes the
save. Tag, boot to the head from Bradshaw, again, Gunn IS bleeding. 1,
2, no. Again the loose turnbuckle makes a handy weapon. Bradshaw just
punching away on the open forehead. Dogg leading the cheers on the
outside, Gunn manages a backdrop - both men down - there's the hot tag to
the Dogg! He's a HOUSE O' FIRE! Left, left, left, juke and jive, right
for Faarooq, right for Bradshaw. Gunn with a dropkick on Faarooq to take
him out - and monopolize the attention of Tim White so following the
wiggly wobbly woodly kneedrop, the cover is NOT counted. Instead, Howard
Finkel inserts a STEEL chair into the ring while Bradshaw manages the big
boot to the head. But it's Mr. Ass using the chair - Dogg rolls up
Faarooq for the 1, 2, 3. (5:58) Lilian Garcia
announces the winners of the match as "the Outlow," forgetting the New Age
part and also mispronouncing the other part. The Outlaws invite Finkel
into the ring and express their displeasure at the misplacement of the
chair - then they give him a "superheavyweight wedgie."
One more No Mercy encore promo
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago and attempt to make sense of what just happened. Now even Jim Ross is calling him "Harold." There's the chair, yeah, there's the "Wedgie from Hell..." uhh...
Back to "live" action, the Acolytes want to know how Finkel will make things right. Somebody brings up "Deliverance" - and maybe it's a GOOD thing that we just kinda break away from this shot...
The United States Coast Guard (slogan: "Not on MY coast!") brings you the Rescue of the Week - from last night's PPV, a series of high spots from the final match of the Terri Invitational Tournament - where exactly the RESCUE is...I can't exactly say.
Michael King Cole introduces the BROOD who rise up
burning ring o' far with neither Gangrel nor Terri. They make a point of
gingerly walking to the ringside - is that from the match, or the
post-match celebration? Hey, you guys have Terri, do you STILL need to
make gun motions with your hands? Matt: "Thank you - but first off, I'd
like to set the record straight. We are NOT the New Brood - we're the
Hardys. We're Matt and Jeff. We're the Hardys." EDGE & CHRISTIAN appear
underneath the EntertainmentTron (for the first time in a great while) and
ALSO gingerly walk to the ring. Christian: "Matt - Jeff - take it easy
fellas, just back up. That's not why we came out here." Edge: "You know,
the best of five series - it could have gone either way. But last night,
twenty thousand people gave us a standing ovation." And here's another
one! "And they're giving us a standing ovation now, because we worked our
asses off. Now guys, I'm shootin' here, we came out here tonight out of
respect. Guys, it was an honour." And there's handshakes all around.
And now here's... TERRI & GANGREL
together? How long's it been since we
heard the voice of Gangrel? "Oh there's no doubt that the four of you
deserve a big congratulations - a big one. But I think the four of you
owe me a bit of congratulations too. 'Cause while you were in your hotel
rooms sleeping off the beatings you gave each other, heh - I was up all
night, and I'm the ONLY one that scored, hahahahahaha." All four guys
take umbrage at Gangrel with his arm on Terri - and there's a quadruple
beatdown! Terri watches all this with amusement. The refs come out to
break it up - the Hardys music plays...what just happened, now? Terri
does walk out with Matt & Jeff...
GTV brings you a shot of Big Bossman congratulating someone off camera for his "Oscar winning performance." Turns out that Bossman paid off that guy to deliver fake news about Big Show's father's death...well, that makes me feel so much better about things, 'cause, see, his father didn't REALY die.
You know, now that I think about it, isn't this kinda of a strange parallel to that time that Bret Hart got that phone call about Stu Hart? Just something for you conspiracy theorists out there...
Wow, it's the Rock! And he's....he's WALKING!!!!
ROCK & SOCK CONNECTION v. HOLLYS (with Scale Holly) for the tag team championship - okay, YOU tell ME why the champs enter first. Mankind hits Howard Stern AND Conan O'Brien Thursday, and the Virgin Megastore in Times Square Friday. Mankind enters sans mask and sans chipper attitude AND sans title belt! In fact, he just sits on the steps leading to the ring - and rocks...and rocks...and rocks. Hollys are announced with a weight of "allegedly over eight hundred pounds." Rock is shouting something to Mick, which unfortunately places his back to the Hollys. The doubleteam kicks things off. Crash stays in after referee "Blind" Earl Hebner gets Hardcore back outside. Crash stomping away while Hebner calls to Mankind. Clubbing forearm, repeat. Crash to the bandaged area. Mankind's head is down - and he hasn't moved from his seat. Rock punching back...Crash whips Rock into Hardcore's boot. Tag to Hardcore as we look backstage to see the Outlaws looking on - Gunn getting his cut treated. Hardcore stomping away on the ribgs. Whip into the opposite corner. Whip back - Rock reverses, back elbow, right hands, into the opposite corner again, Holly throws up an elbow, but runs into a powerslam for 2. Sidewalk slam from Holly - 1, 2, no. Tag to Crash - top rope fist to the ribs. Crash pulls on the arm. Crowd chants "Rock and Sock..." and Foley turns his head to see what's going on in the ring. Rock manages a sorta swinging neckbreaker for 2. Crash comes back with a kick to the gut. Over to Hardcore for the tag. Holly continues to work the ribs.
the corner, where Mankind is not, Rock manages to duck the clothesline
from Hardcore and hit one of his own on Crash - but Hardcore hits the best
dropkick in the business for 2. Hardcore setting him up for the vertical
suplex. And now Hardcore, having no brains at all apparently, walks over
to Mankind and asks him what's up - then tells him he's worthless.
Getting back in the ring, Rock is back and on him. Reversal of a whip,
kick from the Rock, punch from Holly and both men are down. Hardcore with
the front face, tag to Crash - another high impact fistdrop. Back to the
armbreaker. Mankind looks on as Crash bars the arm. Crash stomping away
on the ribs. Sleeper! Crowd tries "Rock and Sock" again as Mankind looks
around, feeding the chant. Arm falls once - Mankind looks in the ring -
Arm falls twice - crowd chants "Foley" - arm fails to fall thrice. Off
the ropes, Samoan drop from the Rock! Foley stands up - and the crowd
goes nuts! Rock covers - 1, 2, no. Mankind sits down againas Rock
somehow manages to take it to both Hollys. Punching away on Crash,
punches for Hardcore, back elbow for Hardcore, DDT for Crash - 1, 2,
Hardcore tries to save but Rock is aside and Hardcore hits his cousin
instead. There's ANOTHER DDT - 1, 2, Hardcore breaks it up. Crash
holding him - Rock's trick knee acts up and Hardcore ends up coming off
the ropes only to be caught in the Rock Bottom! TREBLE H is out? Crash
has Hebner's eye, Rock has H's Pedigree. Mankind sees all of this but his
expression doesn't change. Hardcore covers - 1, 2, 3. Ladies and
gentlemen, we have new tag team champions. (7:29) Mankind forlornly
walks away. Now, to send the crowd home happy, the sound of breaking
glass brings STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN
out to whup up on Helmsley.
Throwing him into the ring, he's distracted a bit by the Hollys. Hebner
keeps them separated while Rock hits Rock Bottom on Helmsley. Just before
the People's Elbow can be hit, however, Austin is in the ring with the
double bird, stopping Rock in his tracks. There's the Stunner! I think
Rock's a bit perturbed that Austin stole his thundah. Their eyes locked,
we check the credits and fade out. See you Thursday for SmackDown!
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