/1 November 1999
WWF RAW is WAR
So long, Sweetness - I'll never forget how you stood side-by-side with
Razor Ramon and gave some of the (unintentionally) FUNNIEST interviews in
the history of the WWF. 'Cause I still have 'em on tape. Rest in peace...
QUICK QUOTE: WWFE 25 (+1 1/8)
TONIGHT: The Rock takes on Road Dogg - while Steve Austin meets Mr. Ass! - Of course, they promised us those matches last Thursday, but something tells me that tonight they may come through! Oh, and the rest of DX is in the house. HowEVER will we manage to wait through these ten minutes of "Walker?"
Well, that chick's got some nice cleavage - so I guess I'll manage
I *should* be watching the Packers right now, but honestly, it's just too painful.
Hey! Even the old guy is in on this fight!
What, did they leave the brother in the car?
Oh, they must have split up...
Geez, five minutes left in the show...is this a Part One? I don't see how they can wrap this up...oh, wait, the dramatic psychology of TALK RADIO will bring things to a head
Well, no point putting this off to watch the end of Monday Night Football...
Boy, that Walker is AMAZING
One World Leader Attitude - TV-14-DLV - WWF!|
Let Us Show You A Bit of SmackDown! - notably the bit with Road Dogg putting the challenge out to Rock, only to stuff him in the trunk of a car with the help of the rest of DX later in the show. They FAIL to show the amazing escape...but only 'cause they didn't show it on SmackDown! either...
Closed Captioned (not) Opening Credits
FIREWORKS! welcome you to our nation's capital - and the MCI Center is the place! WE ARE LIVE 1.11.99, All Saints Day (wooo, they're some fine women, All Saints) on the USA Network from Washington, DC, and who knows, perhaps TSN too (did you know this is the one year anniversary of the first live RAW on TSN? Since then they've had, what, six or seven live ones since? Har har.) and we start with...A MATCH?!?
LA ROCA v. ROAD DOGG - Rock settles on the "Smackdown hotel" riff tonight, even busting out his Elvis impression. Tonight's rectal insertion du jour is Austin's rattlesnake, tied up in a knot (but not Triple H's game - it just goes back in the box). He goes on to proclaim the Road Dogg Jesse James a blemish on his buttocks - not that it matters what his name is. I don't know how Rock's entrance takes, but it's nine after when Dogg makes HIS entrance, and because Rock is a glory hound, he doesn't give Dogg a chance to talk, rushing up the ramp to meet him. Rock immediately gets the upper hand. We make it into the ring, where the bell rings. Dogg begging off, eating some more punches - there's a clothesline. Off the ropes, head dow, kick from the Dogg - gay pumphandle but Rock's trick knee acts up - punch, punch, clothesline to take him over the top and to the floor. Rock follows... and back up the ramp we go. Trading blows on the ramp - Dogg running back, and finding some water to throw in the Rock's face. Backstage we go? Nope, Rock emerges from the curtain, falling to the ramp - ahh, there's the rest of D-GENERATION X and it's a four-way beatdown. The rest of the refs and officials make haste to attempt to separate everybody - when this fails, even BILLIONAIRE VINCE comes out - he and Triple H go nose to nose - finally DX lays out, Triple H talking smack to McMahon all the way to the back. Hmmm, let's call it (no contest) and don't bother with a time...well, it was (under a minute).
WWF: The Music (Volume 4) is out TUESDAY!! Buy it NOW!! Or...DON'T!! Hell, "Bring it On" is on there, so you should probably buy it.
Let me check...27-7. Bleah.
Damn, what's the POINT of this Ford ad other than to be REALLY FUCKING LONG? Oh, wait, I mean, "isn't it GREAT that such an adult advertiser would buy such a big 2 minute block of ad time during RAW?"
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago, where four paragraphs above ended with DX putting the boots to Rock
We cut to Vince, backstage, who says this "isn't gonna be another DX
night." Vince says tonight Ass gets Austin, X-Pac gets Kane, Dogg already
had his match. Triple H says "god damn," so the helpful USA censor mutes
out everything JUST afterward...apparently the gist is he begs to differ -
it WILL be a DX night. Ass is a blonde now, by the way.
Micheal King Cole stands next to Big Show, whose ankle is being taped up. Hey, he shaved off the facial hair!
Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! where Big Show pushed a dumpster onto a car after pinning it to a wall with a forklift. Oh no! Bossman and Prince Albert may have been inside!
Cole interviews Show - after Thursday, what *else* is he capable of? Show asks Cole what HE would be capable of in the same situation. He knew what he was doing Thursday...but he didn't even care. And that's what scares him...sounds to ME like the Undertaker's finally gotten the killer instinct outta this guy...what, you mean this is a DIFFERENT angle?
Behind the door, we see Prince Albert and Bossman letting off a teargas bomb and throwing it into the trainer's room
Thankfully, Cole and the cameraman manage to scatter - Big Show does not. From the camera left on the floor, we see Show cough, sputter, and fall to the ground.
On the other side, Bossman and Albert don gas masks, step inside, and have some fun with the Big Show...then run off. Somehow, THIS cameraman is unaffected by the fumes - maybe that one's wearing a gas mask, too. I dunno.
I hope we see a replay of this when we get back from these ads!
Local drop-in plays the UPN SmackDown! ad for channel 44/45.
Sure enough, Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago - Ross says it WAS tear gas. Cole and the cameraman get out...that's funny.
The helpful EMT's bring us back, live, as a strangely coloured Big Show gets some oxygen from the EMT's - I'll bet some mouth-to-mouth from that blonde will bring him back
EDGE (I think I know him!) & CHRISTIAN & HARDY BOYZ (with Terri) v. TOO COOL & HOLLYS - Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! where nefariousness on the part of the Hollys gave a win to Too Cool - necessitating an 8-man tag TONIGHT! Lilian Garcia botches the "Too Cool" introduction - congratulations, babe. Jeff and Taylor start. Lockup, armwringer, Taylor rolls out - reversal, right hand, right, off the ropes, Jeff slides out - Taylor follows - back in, tag to Christian - doubleteam - Jeff whipped into Taylor, there's a all fours assisted leg lariat. Tag to Matt, another doubleteam, double hiptoss for 2. Matt punching away - Christopher holds the leg as Matt comes off the ropes. A clothesline from Crash is ducked, but one from Taylor sends Hardy to the outside. Christopher with a suplex on the outside - all four men getting a shot at Matt while referee "Blind" Mike Chioda is distracted by Matt's teammates. Tag to Hardcore - stomp, punch, punch, off the ropes, clothesline. Hardcore tags to Christopher - bulldog for 2. Tag to Crash - kick, forearm. Off the ropes, droptoehold into the second rope. Crash with a lariat. Tag to Hardcore, gutshot, face rake, off the ropes, best dropkick in the business by Hardcore Holly. Tag to Taylor, alleged martial arts blow, vertical suplex, time for the Snake and the karate chop. Tag to Christopher - off the ropes, reversal, head down, Christopher hits a powerbomb - but only gets 2! Tag to Crash. Scoop - and a slam. Crash climbs the ropes, Matt FINALLY manages some offense - with a foot in a sensitive area as he comes down. Hot tag to Edge! Both Hollys bounce like superballs. Powerbomb on Crash - but Too Cool is in to break it up. Well now we've got a Pier Eight Brawl - all eight men in the ring, now one by one everybody's out with strangely suicidal movesChristopher taken outside, Taylor outside - Christian with the springboard plancha, Jeff hits a tope con hilo. Back in the ring - Edge comes off the rope with his spear on Crash while Christian hits a top-rope plancha on Hardcore to prevent some interference...1, 2, 3!! (5:03)
Let's get a replay of Jeff's tope con hilo, and Edge's spear. Hey,
Edge pinned one of the tag team champions! Edge picks up Terri by the
waist, and...walks off with her?
MICHAEL KING COLE stands with X-pac...but before he can say too much, TORI appears, asking "How could you?" X-Pac makes the implication that Tori has the hots for Kane, then tells her that "back in that fire, his face wasn't the only thing to get burned...if you know what I mean" and then he chops his crotch. Then he dares her to hit him. And she doesn't. Then this segment goes on for another five seconds.
It's a nice little look at the MCI Center, exterior-wise. Ross says it's confirmed - Tori and Kane are an item. SHAME on Tori for taking advantage of that enfeebled mind!
Hey, look, it's some of the WASHINGTON REDSKINS enjoying the action.
Backstage, Mankind signs copies of his book. "To Mideon, for God's sake, wear a shirt man." Meanwhile, Al Snow reads off some of the many insults Mankind has included in his book...you get the feeling that Snow, just down the road, MIGHT think about snapping. Meanwhile, Foley is #3 on the NY Times Bestseller list - how cool is THAT?
BIG BOSSMAN & PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN wheel a load of plunder to the ring. Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight, in case you forgot about the Big Show - it's a gas, man! "Shut up! Al Snow! I guess you thought it was funny settin' me and Prince Albert up last Thursday night on SmackDown! I guess you got a big chuckle when Big Show tried to crush us in that car by pushing that dumpster on our heads! Al Snow - get your punk ass out here right now, because nobody BUT NOBODY pulls the wool over the Big Bossman's eyes without gettin' some SERIOUS payback! And if you don't believe me, ask the Big Show - he's at the hospital right now, sharing a respirator with his father - two for the price of one! So right here right now in the MCI Building, I'm challenging you to a Hardcore Championship match! I brought the toys, Al Snow, so come on down and let's play!" Will Snow come out? But of course. AL SNOW sings "Some Enchanted Evening" off key. In fact, he DOES think it's funny that they were crushed by a dumpster back on Thursday. While there's nothing he'd like to do more than take on Bossman for HIS belt, since he has "Fuzzy-Wuzzy" out there with him, he'd rather even up the odds by making it a tag match - and if you've been paying attention, you already know which music is going to play...
BIG BOSSMAN & PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN v. AL SNOW & MANKIND in a Hardcore match - of course, they're met outside the ring and it starts. Mankind gets the first weapon shot, with a garbage can lid on Albert. Snow has an unidentified object for Bossman. Snow throws the cookie sheet to Mankind, who waffles both men. Albert down - Bossman down. Mankind going for random piercings while Bossman and Snow fight on the outside. Backstage, we take a look at Val Venis, who is throwing all the spare copies of "Have a Nice Day" into a trashcan. Back in the ring, the camera completely misses an Snow moonsault (off the barricade?) - Bossman has a broomstick - to a tender area of Mankind's anatomy. Albert has a STEEL chair - whipped into Snow. And into Mankind. Bossman brings in a second chair - and a piece of particle board (aka "a table") Mankind has some powder, though - a blinded Bossman gives the sidewalk slam to his own partner. Snow & Mankind coming back - punches to Bossman - running knee from Bossman. Snow has the bowling ball - strike! Mankind has the Sock - Snow grabs Albert from Mankind and hiptosses him into the - ahh, it's a door. Here's the pin from Snow. (Call 4:11)
Backstage, Venis drags the garbage can to a well-ventilated area - lets loose with some lighter fluid and a book of matches - and, well...you know the rest. Mankind is seen running to the back with a fire extinguisher...but...
The WWF hits the San Jose Arena LIVE Friday, 26 November! No
matches announced - does it matter? EVERYBODY gets an entrance!
Time now for the JVCkaboom! of the week! From last week's SmackDown!, Stevie Richards scores a pinfall on Chris Jericho - with a smidgen of help from Chyna... The JVCkaboom!Box is SO LOUD IT HURTS!!
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago as Venis burns books - hey, that's a little ULTRA conservative of him, isn't it?
Mankind is back with the extinguisher - but too late. "Shit" doesn't get muted in time...whee!
Tonight's show is brought to you by WWF: The Music (Volume 4), the JVCkaboom!Box, and Duncan's HARDCORE YO-YOS!!
THAT SLUT CHYNA has new music and a shirt that says "MASTER." MISS KITTY'S shirt says "slave." Hmmm. Homoeroticism in pro-wresling that I can feel *good* about - who'da thunk it? "Stevie Richards, last week you came out here dressed like me, you went through my personal property, you stole my clothes, and in the process you destroyed a very expensive leather outfit - so what I'm gonna do now is have you come out, and I'm gonna destroy, from what I saw, your very white ass. Now Chris Jericho, you seem to have a real problem with a woman being the intercontinental champion, which I don't really understand, because it seems to me that YOU'RE the one coming out here, every week, whining and crying like you've got a yeast infection. I'm wonderin' if you're cryin' because maybe I'm a little bit more muscular than you are, bigger than you are. I'm wonder if you're cryin' because even though the heels on your boots are bigger than mine, I'm still taller than you are. And I'm wonderin' if you're whining and crying because frankly, Jericho...I'm better than you are. I think I've proved it, and I think if you ask any male WWF superstar, they'll tell you that I definitely am a worthy intercontinental champion - but Jericho, if you need me to prove it, then I'll give you a second opinion when I bitchslap you around the ring at Survivor Series. The truth hurts, don't it Jericho?" Of course, the Y2J countdown is on - I'm guessing it's really Richards - damn, it sucks to figure it out beforehand. The helpful chyron tells us that really it's STEVIE RICHARDS AS CHRIS JERICHO - well, DUH.
THAT SLUT CHYNA (with Miss Kitty) v. STEVIE RICHARDS - A fairly entertaining parody of Jericho isn't quite enough to make up for the fact that THIS MATCH IS THE PRETZELS!! (Golota -> Pedigree -> pin 1:01) Post-match, CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO waffles Chyna from behind, then puts her in the Walls of Jericho. Jericho poses with the title belt, then dumps it onto Chyna. We can only wonder why Kitty didn't bother to help her out. Jericho does the "c'mon baby" pose on Chyna as we cut to
Backstage, DX huddles - and whispers...
Meanwhile, Stone Cold Steve Austin sits...and ponders...I bet he's thinking, "where's Debra?"
When we come back, Austin is WALKING!
Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! where DX stuffed the Rock in a trunk - later in the show, Mr. Ass laid down a challenge on Austin - still later, Austin managed to catch Road Dogg in a bear trap, snare Mr. Ass, and drop a ceiling on X-Pac.
AUSTIN (with RAW credits and TV-14-DLV ratings box)
v. KING ASS - Interesting to have Austin enter
first... then again, we ARE
turning the hour. Come to think of it, the *Rock* entered first earlier
tonight...and, just like Rock, Austin takes the mic for a little bull
session with you and me. Everything after "Tiddlywinks" gets muted,
apparently just in time by the helpful USA censor. (My guess is "Jesus
Christ.") Austin double dog dares Rock to see everything he said about
Austin...to his face...punk. Has he got a match tonight? Oh, hell, yeah -
his foot - and Gunn's ass. Ass rushes the ring and it's on. Austin
gaining the upperhand with an amazing array of right hands. Gunn blcoks a
head to the buckle and hits one of this own. Count the rights. Off the
ropes, reversal, big back body drop from Austin - clothesline to take him
out of the ring. Austin outside to follow. Right hand. Right,
clothesline to take him over the barricade. Gunn manages to turn the tide
by hot-shotting Austin on the barricade. Going for a piledriver - who does
he think he is, Owen Hart? Austin powers out and backdrops Ass. Catapult
onto the announcers' table! Austin's bleeding. Gunn goes to the eyes to
regain control, then goes to work on the cut. Austin says something
(calling spots?) Gunn tries to drop Austin on the barricade, but he blocks
it. But there's a lariat on Austin. Backstage, we see Rock looking on,
with ice on the People's Elbow. Gunn again goes to the eyes - Austin
whipped hard into the STEEL steps. Austin rolled into the ring. Gunn puts
on the blatant choke. Cover, leg hooked, but only 2. Standing kneedrop -
Gunn again goes for the many orifices on Austin's face. Rear chinlock.
Crowd COMES ALIVE! Well, not really, but we can dream. Gunn's gonna do
the ol' "feet on the ropes for leverage" routine and see if he can get the
crowd pumped up for some cheating. That doesn't exactly work. Referee
"Blind" Earl Hebner catches it the second time. After a brief discussion,
Gunn turns around to find that Austin's up. Coming back with punches, off
the ropes, Thesz press, punches, fistdrop, Gunn manages an eyepoke, but
Austin gets a hot shot. Stunner attempt - SHRUGGED OFF? Wow. Gunn puts
Austin in the corner, but misses the splash. I'm guessing NOW the Stunner
hits. Yup. No count, though - DX are out - but Austin saw
them and grabbed a chair. (DQ
5:37) Hey, I bet Austin's gonna drink some beer
Austin has a seat in the middle of the ring, never taking his eyes off of
DX - and gets a swig. SOME of the beer even LANDS IN HIS MOUTH!!
Test and Stephanie are WALKING! "Steph, I don't think this is such a good idea." "Absolutely!"
WWF: The Music (Volume 4) ad #2
TEST (and Stephanie McMahon) v. BALD VENIS - Stephanie takes the third headset and tells us she's gonna watch "Test kick Val Venis' butt!" Yow, that's cutting edge!
Did Test change his ENTIRE outfit during the
ad break? Venis says he has no problem with Test, then hits on Stephanie
to establish his heeldom. The match quickly spills outside in front of the
commentary table. Test drops him on the barricade. Stephanie: "Yeah baby!
That's my man right there." Back in the ring, Venis crotches Test on the
top rope. Lawler: "That puts the marriage in jeopardy." Stephanie: "Bite
your tongue, King." Stephanie slides in under the wire as a prime
nomination for "Worst Colour Commentator." Congratulations! Venis'
fisherman suplex gets 2. That move NEVER works! Stephanie: "I'm in LUV
with Test!" Today is Mrs. Ross' birthday. Test elbows out of the sleeper
but falls victim to a rake of the face. Off the ropes, head down, kick
from Test, Venis ducks a punch and hits one of his own - there's the
stolen-from-Kobashi-knees, Test punches out, then manages a gutwrench
powerbomb that leaves both men down. Referee "Blind" Jim Korderas puts on
the count - both men up at 6. Punches tradded, Test throwing more more
than Val at this point. Off the ropes, big boot. Head to the buckle, into
the corner, Venis with a bulldog. MANKIND is out. Right hand
to Venis to
ring the bell (DQ
4:54) - well, that was a bit pointless, wasn't it?
And I was all worried about not getting all the play-by-play in favour of
Stephanie's undeniably *stellar* commentary...anyway, Mankind chases Venis
out through the crowd. Stephanie grabs a mic and gets in the ring. "There
is an old expression that says if you love something then set it free - and
if it's really meant to be it'll come back to you. Andrews, you've been
nothing but supportive and patient, and I've got all of my memories and all
of my feelings back, and I can honestly say that I love you right now. So
I'm gonna break from tradition. Andrew, will YOU marry ME?" "Steph - of
course, I love you." As they embrace, I'm drawn to the big gash on Test's
shoulder. Eww, they're still MASHING in there!! I guess that
wwfwedding.com site will give us the NEW date, right? Was that the URL?
Eh, I don't care.
Holy shit, "Battle Dome" is still on the air?
Backstage, it's a big party between the McMahons, the Stooges, and Test. But DX crashes the party - not only is this a DX night, we are reminded, but they aren't going to be held responsible for what's about to happen to Kane...boo-ya!
THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE v. X-PAC (with a can of Hansen's Energy Drink) - now the OBVIOUS joke to make is "if he's romantically involved with Tori, he MUST be retarded," but I'm not about the obvious jokes - no, really - I'm not! I'm guessing that Tori somehow came between the monogamous "buddy buddy" relationship between X-Pac & Kane - if you catch my drifty drifty. X-Pac takes the mic and says he'll never know another love like the love he had had with him - or something. No, I believe he calls Tori a "slut," then says he told her about the fire, and she knows now that he's not much of a man. Kane meets X-Pac outside with the big boot. Into the ring we go... Chokeslam! Here's the rest of DX - ring the bell (DQ :15) And it's on. There's a Pedigree! Feel the excitement! And there's the broncobuster from X-Pac on Kane - just like old times, eh 'Pac?
And here's a replay.
I'll bet Tom Berenger STILL thinks they might make "The Substitute II" and sits by the phone
Another local ad for SmackDown! Hey, there's Nicole Bass!
Here's a KURT ANGLE vignette. He's been a Champion all his life. He's "the most celebrated real athlete in WWF history." REAL athlete? What the hell does THAT mean? What does Mark Henry think of this?
NOKIA brings you the WWF Survivor Series - in just under two weeks!
While the McMahons and entourage argue with DX, Kane pops in and does a little damage, until the refs and officials can get him out of there. Vince decides that Triple H will defend his title tonight as punishment. Triple H goads a bit more, hoping that Vince is his opponent, then Shane goes for his spear to take down Triple H. Somehow in all this, it's decided that Shane will be Triple H's opponent tonight. Ohhhh....I've got a bad feeling about this...
And now Lugz brings you the WWF Boot of the Week! Well, at least this week they play Test's bitchin' elbow from the top of the cage before giving us Shane's dive into the waiting arms of the Posse.
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago when Vince books a WWF title match, Triple H shoves Vince, Shane takes down Triple H, and the sad thing is this just might triple up on whatever's on Nitro...
Rock is pacing - still holding the ice to his People's Elbow - no, he's done with that...what'll he do later tonight?
DUDLEY BOYZ v. HEAD BANGERS - B.B. Ray grabs the mic, but just as he starts to speak, the voice of Mosh interrupts with "W-w-w-we're the d-d-dummy boyz!" The best part is *they don't figure this out.* The Bangers have their' "Dummy Boyz" tie-dyes on. Shot to Thrasher to distract referee "Blind" Teddy Long, so that behind his back D-Von can hit his infamous headbutt to the grawn. D-Von all over Mosh - removing his shirt. There's a back elbow. All over him with punches - Long forces a break after 5. Tag - open shot to the short ribs. Open-handed slap (woooo!), again (woooo!), punch, off the ropes
head down, Sunset flip from Mosh for
1. Clothesline ducked, to the ropes, B.B. Ray holds on and Mosh rolls
backwards - sidewalk slam gets 2 - Thrasher (maybe) makes the save. Tag -
snapmare, nice elbowdrop for 2. Stomp, off the ropes, duck, shoulderblock,
crowd chanting "Boring" which is pretty sad. Off the ropes, double
shoulderblock. Into the corner, splash misses, Mosh hits one of his own -
should have made the tag. Well, there's the hot tag. Both Dudleyz fall.
Clothesline ducked, but he didn't see the guy behind him. Mosh trips up
B.B. Ray off the ropes, and Thrasher hits a TOWERING DDT to score the
Post-match, the MEAN STREET
POSSE is out to extract a
little revenge for what happened on HeAT last night. 5-on-2, I'll take the
Backstage, Austin is WALKING - well, pacing - and drinking!
Yes, I *am* already sick of Kobe Bryant reporting his missing moves to the cops - as well as that guy screeching "Kobe's moves are MYNE!"
BILLIONAIRE VINCE is announced as the special guest ring announcer - Lawler speculates that "Lilian must have screwed that up" which has the ring of plausibility to it, but, alas, she got this one right. No more ad breaks tonight! "Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is for the World Wrestling Federation Championship. Introducing the current WWF Champion - and breaking with the tradition - here is Triple H!" See, it's a FUCKIN' TRADITION. Maybe next time you'll LISTEN to me. "Come on, Triple H, come on!" TREBLE H is out, and he's pretty hot about having to walk out first. He is flanked, as you might expect, by the other three members of DX. Say, why'd these guys get back together again? H with a mean look for McMahon - then a pose with the belt on the apron. In the ring, they are nose to nose once again. Vince asks H to please listen to the "asshole" chant. "Since you've brought your 'friends' with you, allow me to introduce to you the Special Guest Colour Commentator to sit with JR - he is none other than the Rattlesnake himself, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!" As you might expect, Ross wets his pants. Lawler: "What the hell is going on here - I'm not gonna stand for this--hey, Steve! Good to see ya, Steve!" "Allow me to introduce to you the Guest Enforcer - to assist this referee on the outside of the ring - the guest enforcer to join us - his name is KANE!" Let's see, five to the hour...I figure we can squeeze another three or four entrances out of this segment. "And what would a WWF Championship match be without someone who can tell the time? Introducing the Special Timekeeper...Ladies and Gentlemen, the RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRock!" It's LA ROCA, much to Austin's rather audible intrigue. "And now, your next WWF Champion, Shane McMahon!"
SKIPPY v. TREBLE H for the WWF Championship - Annoying spear to start. Punches in bunches. Off the ropes, there's a clothesline. Off the ropes, back elbow from Shane. 1, 2, no. Much is made about the fact that Vince McMahon is at ringside for this match - Get It? Right, right, right, knee, knee, knee, he knows as many moves as the Rock! Into the ropes, there's a reversal - spinebuster from Triple H. Let's check the Nokia Double Feature because they know I can't get ENOUGH of that spear. H has Shane in the corner and he's just stomping and punching away. Standing on the throat. Austin mouthing off to the Rock, and the Outlaws trying to stir the pot. High knee from Triple H when we turn back to the ring. 1, 2, no? Head to the buckle. Very slow ten punch countalong only gets to about two (and a crotch chop) before Shane throws a Golota.
Eyes on Triple H - looks like he's in position - but before Shane can hit
the broncobuster, X-Pac grabs the ankles to trip him up, then brings him
outside the ring and hits a spinning heel kick, taking Shane over the
barricade. This brings *Kane* over to take X-Pac over the barricade - and
they brawl out through the crowd and out of the shot. Meanwhile, Triple H
is back over the barricade to collect Shane. Right hand, kick. H back
over the barricade and mouthing off to Vince. Shane, meanwhile, leaps
onto the guardrail and hits a flying clothesline. Back in the ring -
right hand, Shane with a Pedigree! 1, 2, no! (Thank God!) Nokia brings
us the double feature - Shane is a spot machine, he is. H dumps Shane
over the top rope to the floor - Road Dogg over with the pumphandle slam.
This brings over the Rock, and THEY fight out through the crowd, leaving
Ass alone on the outside - we should expect him and Austin to go at it any
second now. Shane manages a hotshot on Triple H, who knocks noggins with
referee "Blind" Earl Hebner. Shane to the top - Gunn over to crotch him,
thank you - there's Austin and Gunn fighting up the ramp. Meanwhile,
Shane is Pedigreed - but there's no ref. Now Austin is over - duck,
gutshot, Stunner. Gunn pulls Austin outside and they go back to fighting.
Vince is up on the apron - in the ring - with the title belt - but H ducks
and Shane takes the full force of the belt shot. Triple H hits a Golota
on Vince to take him down, then covers Shane. Hebner is up - counting -
1, 2, 3. Whew. I didn't REALLY think Shane would get the belt.....did I?
(7:34) H stands
over Shane and crotch chops away - then walks over to Vince and does the
same. Ross is all over it with "Was it an accident?" Oh, do we have to
If you're like me, you only have one question: Where the heck was *Viscera*?