/6 December 1999
WWF RAW is WAR
Have you been to the Torch's new site? It's awesome! They're gonna put
WrestleLine out of business! They're THAT good! PRO WRESTLING TORCH DOT
QUICK QUOTE: WWFE 16 5/8 (- 4 5/16) - ohhh my
TONIGHT: The Rock & Sock Connection are here! Well, where else would they be already? Plus, we'll take you back to the wedding that never happened because of the wedding that did! How will Vince, Shane, and Stephanie react? Stick around, folks - you've only got a few more minutes of Walker to sit through!
TV-14-DLV (God bless cable TV) - One World Leader Attitude - WWF
Closed captioned symbol - Opening Credits
FIREWORKS! It's like going back to your parents house- everything is so familiar as WE ARE LIVE from the Worcester Centrum in Worcester, MA 6.12.99 - tonight...RAW IS WAR! Now here's something you may not have expected to start off the show...a MATCH! A CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH! With a
NEW AGE OUTLAWS v. TOO COOL (with Rikishi Phatu) - Oh oh - Gunn's earring fell out! I HATE when that happens! These guys are heels, right? I forget when they do that whole shtick they do. Nope, that IS how they spelled Fatu's name this time. Too Cool have new music - what was so bad about their last music? Road Dogg, a master of the pantomime, tells referee "Blind" Mike Chioda "that guy needs to get his big ass outta here!" Gunn removes the ceremonial robes, checks out the goods, and then brandishes his OWN derreire as an example of how one's ass SHOULD look. Rikishi promptly delivers a superkick to Gunn, then crotch chops on him, much to the crowd's delight. The opening bell hits here, Scotty 2 Hotty with a great chance to do the Worm, the karate chop, then to moonwalk over, pop, lock, and hit a right. Gunn counters with Snake Eyes. Off the ropes, biiiiiiig back body drop. Knockdown, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, well now he's just throwing a tantrum. Run into Dogg's boot, tag, a little dancin' punch of his own here. In the corner, six kicks, (like I was gonna type "kick" five more times), blind tag, off the ropes, reversed, ducked, Sexay hits Uncle Slam on the Dogg. Into the corner - running head to the gut. The Grand Master busting a move of his own, Dogg punching back - whip into the opposite corner, Christopher puts up a boot and hits a bulldog out of the rope. Off the ropes, duck, left, left, left, juke, snaps the goggles on his face for good measure, right, wiggly wobbly wooply kneedrop, 1, 2, Taylor breaks it up. Gunn in with a punch on Taylor, distracting Chioda. Behind his back, the doubleteam is on and next thing you, Dogg is being set up for the Vegomatic! Cover - no ref - now the HOLLYS are out - now Rikishi is in - oh my, what's going on. DDT ON THE CHAIR ON RIKISHI! Gunn manages a jackhammer on Taylor while Dogg punches away on Christopher - bell finally rings (DQ? 3:38) and the Hollys' theme plays. I guess the Hollys won!
Backstage, a limo arrives. Why, it's Stephanie McMahon! She's got some papers! Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! where Stephanie asked her brother and her father to promise to let her handle this her way.
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago where the Hollys ran in and attacked Too Cool (so I'd give that one to Too Cool if I were doing that Ladder - thank God I'm not, eh Jeremy?) AND gave a DDT on a chair to Rikishi. We learn that Hardcore Holly has challenged Rikishi for later in the show.
MANKIND walks to the ring as we take a look at the New York Times Bestseller List - with a certain sports entertainer at #1. "Hello, Worcester Mass! I'd just like to take one second to thank all of Worcester and everybody around the country for making my book, Have a Nice Day, the #1 book in the country! So if it makes us feel any better, I want you to know the entire literary world not only hates me but they hate all of you for making it #1. But now, as you know I've had my share of problems concerning two friends, and I'd like to address that by pointing your eyes to the video screen, the TitanTron, airing a little footage of Mr. Al Snow. There's Al taking a cheap shot at the Great One, putting the boots, and now he's got a couple of new buddies I guess, I don't know - you see D-Generation X Al - that's cheap, and the Rock deserves a little bit better than that.
So, I know you're going
through a lot of personal trauma, what I'd like for you to do is come on
down here and maybe clear the air right here in the Worcester Centrum so
please, let's have Al Snow down here right away. Al....hey Al...." The
music hits and AL
SNOW does indeed appear walking down the aisle
sour look on his face. "Shut it off - SHUT IT OFF NOW! Oh yeah." "Rock
E" chant from the crowd can't help matters any. "Oh yeah - you chant his
name, sure, and I'M the bad guy in all this, huh? I'm the bad guy in all
this because *I* as a real friend care about you. Do you think these
people give a damn about you? Let me ask you something. What do you
think these people are gonna say is your most memorable moment in your
entire career? Do you think - do you think - SHUT UP! Do you think for
one minute that it's gonna be your pride and joy, your book that you
poured your heart and soul out on? No, the one thing that these people
are gonna remember..." "Asshole" chant "The ONE thing that these people
are gonna remember you for is the night your threw your body off that cage
and through that table. Let me ask you something. Were any of those
people there in that car, driving your ass to the Red Roof in Pittsburgh?
No! Were they there to carry your bags? No! Were they there the next
morning to get you up out of bed? No! Will they be there for you when
you are old and crippled and can't play with your kids? No! These people
will forget about you as if you were yesterday's news - they do not give a
damn aboutcha, and Rocky sure as hell doesn't either." "Hey Al, hold on,
I mean anybody who's seen us together in Las Vegas knows we're friends -
I'll admit to the world right now that not only are you a friend you may
very well be my best friend in all of wrestling, but listen up! You know
who else is my friend, Al? Gerald Brisco is my friend - it doesn't mean
I'm gonna go down to Tampa and hammer out dents in the body shop with him.
You know who else is my friend? That little Joe C., the little rapper guy
- doesn't mean I'm gonna go on the road and start rapping with Kid Rock.
Al, you are a very good friend but the truth is when I get in the ring, I
kinda like being part of the Rock & Sock Connection." "Listen, I've seen
you get out of the car. I've seen you can barely move. I cannot stand by
and watch you, a former Hardcore legend, a king of the Japanese Death
matches debase yourself, degrade yourself, make yourself into a clown for
these people, and make yourself into a no-good suckup brown-nose to the
Rock!" "Wait a second, wait wait wait-" "As a friend, I cannot stand by
and let that happen!" "Hey Al, remember 'This Is Your Life, Rock?'
Remember that? Did you know that during the entire filming of that little
incident, I didn't sustain one concussion? Did you know the entire time
the Rock & Sock Connection were together I didn't get hurt at all? You
see, I knew I was playing the fool - you wanna know why I stuck around?
For three reasons, because A) I liked it, B) the Rock liked it, and C) the
fans liked it. And besides, the Rock & Sock Connection were pretty damn
good, and with all due respect, as a team, Al Snow & Mankind - uhh - they
sucked." "We sucked! We sucked as a team!" "Bigtime, Al." "I'll tell
you what...I'll go backstage right now and I will find myself a partner
and I will be glad to take on the Rock & Sock Connection tonight." "Al,
first off, I don't want to wrestle you - after all, who the hell am I
gonna see the Christmas Display at Santa's Village with, right? But, I
know for a fact, and I think everyone else out here might enjoy seeing the
Rock get a piece of your ass...so I'll tell you what Al, you go off to the
back, and you find some guy, you bring him out and the Rock & Sock
Connection will put the action to this very ring tonight in Worcester!"
"Mick - MICK! I got one more question for you - do you remember how hurt
you were when the Rock threw your book in the garbage? Do you remember
how let down you felt? Do you remember how it felt, like he had stabbed
you right in the back, and you screamed at the Rock? Do you remember how
you turned your back on the Rock and how you left him in the ring during a
title match? Do you remember how heavy your heart was after all of that?
Do you remember that? Good, because that's exactly how I felt after I got
done reading your book - and all the Al Snow jokes. That book is a piece
of garbage, and I'M the one who threw it in the trash because that's where
it belongs - I did it to show you just how real a friend the Rock was -
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" "You threw my book out...Al, I don't--" and Snow
WAFFLES him with the mic and then wails away. Mankind fires back - now
they're trading punches. A truckload of referees and officials attempt to
separate them. Tonight: Kane & Test take on X-Pac & Triple H - and now
THIS tag team match as well!
WWF Armageddon promo is heavy on Vince McMahon and Triple H
Wanna buy WrestleMania 2000? Get it at DIGITAL STUFF!
Stephanie reminds her father that he promised her. Vince says fine, but if he does anything to her tonight, he's comoing for him, TOP be damned. Stephanie says she'll take care of it herself, and she knows at Armageddon Vince will take care of Triple H. Then they have a father/daughter moment..at least I HOPE that's what that look was...brrr...
RAW is WAR is brought to you by Vigilante 8: Second Offense, the JVCkaboom!box, and M&M's! But I thought M&M pulled their ads?
HARDY BOYZ (with Headlights) v. CELEBRATED OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST AND REAL ATHLETE KURT ANGLE & STEVE BLACKMAN (with Riggs & Murtaugh) - "Your Olympic hero has arrived in Worcester Massachusetts! As all of you know, I have built a lifetime of success over a simple set of rules that I call the three I's - Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence. And I'm living proof that no matter where you're from and no matter what you do, you can accomplish anything - even in a depressed town like Worcester! Now what I'd like to do is introduce my tag team partner - the Lethal Weapon Steve Blackman!" Blackman once again wields the cool dayglo batons, putting Kid Romeo to shame. As he walks down the aisle, a strange symbol takes over the TitanTron for a moment. It's hardly worth mentioning...except...well, back to Angle. "Now last week Mr. Blackman assisted me with MY big win over the Head Bangers. Thank you.
Thank you! Now Steve, you
showed a lot of poise and a lot of promise, and you're making a great
apprentice, you are - you are. And if you stick with me - if you stick
with me, Steve, you're going places. I will make you a winner. With my
athletic ability, my amazing athletic talents - and your...your
stuff...your stuff, we can make a championship-caliber tag team. What do
you say? Let's do it." Blackman goes through his entire catalog of
and lets Angle start the match with Jeff Hardy. Tieup, fireman's carry
takeown by Angle, holding the arm, taking him down again. Hardy turns in
and gets up - tag to Blackman, open shot. There's a double shot, kick,
right, Hardy goes to the eyes and tags out. Matt all over him, whip is
reversed, Matt collapses (trips?) - Blackman stomps on him a bit. Off the
ropes, again, Matt ducks a Lethal Kick and hits a backdrop suplex. Both
men tag, duck, clothesline by Jeff, dropkick, Blackman over, legsweep
jumped over, another dropkick. Ross calls Jeff "the scintillising Matt
Hardy," so not only did he misidentify him, but he INVENTED A NEW ENGLISH
WORD! GO ROSS! Matt in - snap suplex - Jeff from the top with the senton
bomb! Cover - 2 count, Angle breaks it up. Matt whips Angle into the
corner and then gets on all fours to assist Jeff - meanwhile, Blackman's
gone for the baton, which he cracks on Jeff's head while he's airborne.
Angle covers and scores the pinfall. This team is undefeated!
Angle again goes into histrionics while Blackman gives a "what's with this
guy" vibe. These two still meet Sunday. Here's a replay showing that
Blackman did all the work...
Stephanie - is - WALKING! She stops in front of a door - takes a deep breath - but - THAT'S THE DX DOOR!!!
WWF: The Music (Volume 4) ad
We're now inside the DX locker room as Stephanie asks Triple H to sign "these annulment papers." X-Pac tells Steph that the Outlaws are already in the shower - why doesn't she go ahead, he'll be there in a minute. "Hey! That's my wife, man!" Stephanie again tries to be serious as X-Pac and H cover their mouths to hide their big ol' grins. Triple H got what he wanted, he drove Vince nuts. It's over! Please sign the papers! "Okay, okay, in all seriousness - are we gettin' in the shower or not?" Again, H calls her back pretending to be serious. You know what's funny about this? She falls for it EVERY SINGLE TIME.
BALD VENIS v. D'LO BROWN for the #1 European title contendership - Venis only manages to belt out "Hello Ladies" before Brown's music interrupts him, so I don't know if he's a face or a heel this week. Winner of this match gets Bulldog at Armageddon. Venis interrupts Brown's pose on the ringpost to start. Lotsa punching. Off the ropes we go, reversal, duck, back elbow, elbowdrop, off the ropes, kneedrop, cover, 1, 2, nope, it's fast! Brown hits his rights, off the ropes, Venis buries a knee, Perfectplex, 1, 2, no (that move NEVER works!) Venis takes Brown's head to the buckle. Now wailing away with rights, Brown trades places and lets loose with some knife-edge chops - there's a leg lariat, scoop and a slam, standing flourished legdrop for 2. Brown to the top - Venis crotches him and climbs up as well - superplex! I think Venis called a spot in there. 1, 2, no! Now they're trading punches - nope, BRITISH BULLDOG & MEAN STREET POSSE are out and attacking BOTH men. Running powerslam for Venis while Rodney hits a Buff Blockbuster on Venis. No closing bell, let's call it (no contest 2:22) - so who gets the title shot? Hey, why not both of them?
Fabulous Moolah & Mae Young are on their way to the Billboard Music Awards - Young is wearing a backwards cap and spilling a 40. "Mae what are you doing?" "I'm pouring it for my homiez!" "Why don't you save that for Wednesday night for the Billboard Music Awards?" "Word." "Don't you know your favourite band is going to be there, DMX?" "Where's mah dogs at!" "Oh Mae, please, you one crazy ol' cracka."
The Rock & Mankind talk about ... something.
RAW is WAR comes to the San Jose Arena Monday, 14 February! Better
take your date! I can't help but notice there's no Austin in this ad...
Thanks to MechWarrior 3, you can send in your cable or satellite bill to get a free Armageddon license plate FREE!
DX huddles around the papers Stephanie left behind.
GODFATHER (with ten - no, five ho's) v. PRINCE ALBERT - Tonight, the Big Show takes on Big Vis - put your children to bed early! This match came about from last night's Heat matchup where Albert helped Bossman score the fall against the Godfather with timely distraction - so someone's looking for revenge tonight. Lockup, nope. Kick from Albert, uppercut, uppercut, off the ropes, big knockdown. Scoop - and a slam. Off the ropes, splash misses. Right, right, off the ropes, back elbow, clothesline, scoop slam, off the ropes, duck, Albert with a double choke into a sitout powerbomb. Words for the ho's. Into the corner, into the opposite corner, wow! Running splash! Scissors kick for 2. Albert to the rear chinlock. Godfather coming back up and elbowing out. Off the ropes, Albert buries a knee. Albert puts him on the second rope and chokes him in front of the ho's. Godfather coming back with kicks. Albert puts him in the corner and stands on the neck. Out of the corner with an Irish whip. Running at him, sidestepped, Albert puts the breaks on, but ends up running into a backdrop suplex from the Godfather. Off the ropes, drop toehold, elbowdrop, off the ropes again, big boot. Off the ropes, legdrop! I think it's getting close to the time. Whip into the opposite corner, reversed, Godfather puts up a boot. Hard into the corner and NOW it's time once again for everybody to come aboard the HOOOO TRAIN. Cover, 1, 2, 3. (3:44) Give it A MILLION STARS!
Backstage, Triple H - is - WALKING! Solemn-faced, he also carries the papers...and a bouquet of roses... An exterior shot confirms that the building is named the "Centrum in Worcester" And it's sold out! Ross thanks us for setting the record-setting TV ratings last week.
TREBLE H enters the ring with the RAW credits and TV-14-DLV ratings box. "You know I come out here week after week - you people have made it pretty clear how you feel about me - what's that word you call me? Yeah, you've made it pretty clear how you feel about me, but just for the record - just so you know, I feel the EXACT same way about EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. So now that we've cleared that up - you know how I feel, I know how you feel - I'd like to ask ya a little question.
I'd like to know...
I'd like to know how all of you feel about my beautiful bride Stephanie.
I'm a little bit confused about it because Thursday on SmackDown! as she
came out here and poured her soul out to the world, you people began to
call her things like...slut (beeeeeeeeeeeeep)...whore...you know you
people make me sick! It never ceases to amaze me how you can kill
something beautiful - she comes out here to pour her SOUL to you people -
to talk about something beautiful, and pure - and you people crap all over
her! And the fact of the matter is, you're wrong. And the reason I know
you're wrong, Steph is no slut, oh no (beeeeeeeeep) because Triple H would
never marry a slut (beeep) at least not intentionally. [Dude, it ain't
working. Don't bother.] I mean, marrying a (beeeeeeeeeeeeeep) or
something like that, and somebody slips a mickey in your drink, and you
get all sloshed, and you end up at some cheap chapel somewhere, passed
out, and have a shotgun - no, I mean a shot glass wedding. And that is
not Stephanie. She is no slut. (beeep) But now, she comes to me today,
and she brings me annulment papers. You can't imagine my surprise - this
hit me completely out of nowhere! I NEVER saw this coming. Annulment
papers. And the truth of the matter is, I can't help but blame YOU for
all of this! We were two kids in love! And again, you people have to
kill something beautiful. It's you that made this happen, with your
chants of 'Slu(beeeep)' You drove her to this. She couldn't take it. So
she comes to me, and dammit - she wants out. [breaking into faux tears
here] She wants to call it quits. I mean, I guess if that's what she
wants - I mean, hell, I can't do it by myself - I mean, I know how I feel
about her, and I know she loves me, I mean - God, there's just so much
passion there, but I'm not gonna hold it together by myself...I mean, it's
not like, I mean - the kids'll get over it - oh right, we don't have any
kids, but who gives a crap anyways, right? So, if that's what she really
wants, then I've come to the conclusion that...Steph...come out here and
I'll sign these papers if that's what you really want. Come on out, Steph
- and I'll - I'll sign these annulment papers - and I'll let you walk away
from our wedded bliss." STEPHANIE
HELMSLEY walks out with yet another
puppydog face, cocked askance, but this time - it's angry. Triple H
working his best fake sadness here. Steph grabs the flowers - and throws
them into the crowd. "Now Steph, I understand you're a McMahon, you're
hot-headed - but, you know I called you out here with all intents and
purposes of signing these annulment papers..." checking out her can
"...but now that I get a look at you standing out here, I'm ... startin'
to get all warm and fuzzy inside - especially from certain angles! Steph,
I - I just... Steph you don't know how much you mean to me - I mean, it
just won't be the same without you in my life! How can I kick your
father's ass without you sitting there watching? Who can I get in their
face and laugh to, if not you? I mean, Steph...YOU ... complete ... ME.
You know what I'm saying? You complete me. And Steph, I, I just - I
can't sign these - I just - I can't find it in myself to do it." "I'm
tired of your games you insincere son of a BITCH." H puts on the shocked
face. "I hope my father CRIPPLES you at Armageddon..." and she walks out.
But as she gets on the apron. "Steph! Now wait a second now. Y'know,
you might be onto something there. If that old goat can beat me at
Armageddon, I would sign these damn papers. Yeah, we're on to something
here, Steph. If your dad, well (beeeeeeeep) can beat me at Armageddon, I
will sign these papers and make you a free woman. BUT, the whole world
knows that as long as your old man has the breath in his body, which he
might not for very much longer, as long as he has the breath in his body,
that I will NEVER receive a shot at the World Wrestling Federation title,
because he hates my guts. So I'll tell ya what - if he beats me, the
wedding is annulled, but if I beat him, then I get my shot at the title."
"I think I can have that arranged." "Oh, I'm sure that you can have that
arranged. After all, you're my wife - you've got stroke around here - a
LOT of stroke around here. BUT, as much as I love every inch of you,
Steph, you're still a McMahon, which means I don't believe a damn word you
say, so I've gotta hear it from the old goat's mouth himself. If we've
got a deal, then I've gotta hear it from Vince. So, I know he's in the
back watching. Why don't you come out here and let me know if you make
this official....DAD?" "No Chance in Hell" plays - Stephanie smirks - and
approaches. "Come on, Vince! Get face-to-face in the
ring with me - and tell me - whoa, hold on, hold on! I forgot! There's a
restraining order against you, and I've got cops in the back waiting to
arrest you on TV, and the face of the matter is, Vince, as a family
member, you embarrass me when you get yourself arrested on TV every week,
so back yourself up the ramp, and make it fifty feet, Jack!" "As far as
the new provisions in this No Holds Barred match this Sunday - as to
whether or not I accept these new provisions - oh yeah - I do. I accept."
"You know, it never ceases to send a little shiver up my spine every one
time you McMahons say 'I do.' 'I do - oh I do.'" "Let me just say this,
Triple H - after this match at Armageddon is over - so too will be your
marriage to my daughter because I promise you I'm gonna kick your ass from
heaven ALL THE WAY DOWN TO HELL. And it's not that I don't trust you or
anything, but I want this in writing, and by God, come this Thursday, I'll
have new documentation for you to sign so you can't weasel out of any of
these provisions." "You know Vince, that's fine. You get your lawyers to
draw up the papers, and Thursday, you bring 'em to SmackDown! because
you're an untrusting man. I - am a trusting person. I'm very old school
for these things, and while you need a contract, I most times like to do
business the old-fashioned way, Vince - I like to do business on, let's
say - a handshake or sometimes, just to seal the deal with, let's say - a
kiss." And he PLANTS one on Stephanie. Vince works on his "quivering
with rage" as we take it to the break!
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago where Triple H snuck a buss,
and Vince convulsed a bit
Backstage, Vince, Gerald and Patrick are talking - Mankind appears - he's got a daughter himself, so he can emphathise. Yeah, Mick, what is she, six? I'm sure you have to deal with drugged marriages all the time with her. Anyway, Foley offers any help he can with a No Holds Barred match.
HARDCORE HOLLY (with Crash & Scale Holly) v. RIKISHI PHATU (with Too Cool & no entrance) - Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight - no, never mind. There's a uranage. Here's a Banzai Drop. Whoops, it's over. (:36) Oh, Too Cool may have joined LARRY KING & JERRY LAWLER on commentary - I missed it. I believe they both called him a mofo. Crash and Hardcore do a bit of fighting while Too Cool enters the ring for a dance routine which I believe takes longer than the match..
Hello nurse! She's GREASING HERSELF UP!
"What are you doing now?" "Living La Vida Loco." "Please, don't you dare do that in front of Ricky Martin Wednesday night at the Billboard Music Awards." "You're wasting my flava!" "Talk to the hand, girlfriend." "(raspberry)"
Mech Warrior 3 presents the WWF Rewind! From last week on RAW, Miss Kitty takes a fire extinguisher to Chris Jericho. Last Thursday on SmackDown!, Chyna got another belt shot on Jericho. Vengeful bitch, ain't she?
Coming up tonight: Big Show & Viscera! We promise there MAY eventually be wrestling tonight!
MICHAEL KING COLE welcomes B.B. to the ring? Most overused line of the night - "B.B.? Looks more like D.D. to me!" Strangely enough, her hair is done EXACTLY like Sable used to do it. Before Cole can ask her first question, IVORY's music starts up and out she bounds. "Oh, please - please Babs - spare us the dialog Babs, I mean we don't want you to burst a brain cell trying to form a sentence or anything! I can tell by the looks of those boobs that you've spent quite a bit of money on an enhancement - too bad you can't BUY a brain enhancement. Your boobs really are quite enormous. Ahh, Boy Toy, could you hold this for me? Thank you so much. You're a very good Boy Toy. Babs, you might never find yourself on the cover of ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY! But you know, maybe someday she could be the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. Lord knows, by the look of that supply, if you could learn to just share a little, you could FEED THE WORLD! Listen, you really don't belong in the ring, okay? And I am going to take much pleasure in peeling the clothes off of your body at Armageddon's four corner evening gown match!" Hey, here's JACQUELINE also rouged and greased up nicely - during HER entrance, the EntertainmentTron is again taken over by a strange symbol as the entire arena is bathed in orange. Hmm....back to Jackie. "Shut up - BIG MOUTH! I've already kicked your ASS in the gravy bowl match! Now this Sunday at the pay-per-view, I'm gonna win that four corner match - you got it?" "Hey listen, we got - what, one two three, Boy Toy, are you gonna put on a skirt on and join us, or what - who is the fourth contender?" Some familiar music starts up and THAT SLUT CHYNA & MISS KITTY appear 'neath the EntertainmentTron. Somehow I'm thinking it isn't Chyna... "Don't worry, although there's a few of you ladies out there I'd really like to choke out, it's not me so you can clean the crap from your little lingerie panties in just a second - Kitty, you are gonna be the fourth competitor in the Evening Gown match. I'm gonna be busy, I have to throw Chris Jericho around, you're it. I signed ya up." "No! You can't do that! You don't understand! That means I might get stripped down to my bra and panties!" "Kitty, what's the big deal? Who cares?" "No! Chyna, you don't understand - I don't wear underwear!" "Well, Kitty you're just gonna have to win, aren'tcha?" Ivory mouths "no panties?" and has a rather priceless look. Chyna's a strange one - obviously she's got these lesbian leanings, and yet she didn't seem to know that Kitty didn't wear underwear - so what exactly do they DO all they in those "Master" & "slave" shirts?
Oh no! Viscera and the Big Show don't want to wait for their match! They're fighting backstage! Wow! Show through a table as Viscera splashed him! Can all those referees and officials break them up?
And now, the WWF Boot of the Week - brought to you by LUGZ! From
last Monday on RAW, X-Pac delivers a spinning heel kick - to Tori!
THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE (with Tori) & TEST v. X-PAC & TREBLE H - Hmm, no pyro set up for the DX'ers - I guess we'll get a sneak attack before the bell - thank you. Kane takes X-Pac to the corner, Triple H in and the doubleteam is on - but Kane just knocks them both down. X-Pac taken ou, off the ropes, facebuster from Triple H, clothesline from Kane. Tag to Test, open shot, off the ropes, duck, powerslam - 1, 2, no. Right, off the ropes, reversed, X-Pac kicks the back, but it doesn't hurt - Test turns around and decks X-Pac - but H from behind hits a high knee to take him out. As Kane distracts referee "Blind" Mike Chioda, X-Pac hits the now infamous spinning heel kick on Test. Back in the ring, doubleteam stomping on Test in the corner. Double suplex coming up - nicely done. Running kneedrop from Triple H - 2 count. Tag to X-Pac. Knife-edge chop, again, kick, snapmare takeover, off the ropes with a Lightning legdrop. Kneedrop. Right, right from Test, another, right, X-Pac ducks - off the ropes, big leg from X-Pac - only 2. X-Pac on the second rope - but Test buries a shot in the gut as he comes off. Gutwrench into the powerbomb. Both men down - both men tag. KANE IS ON FIRE! Heh heh, no pun intended. Awesome clotheslines (well, not really). Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for X-Pac. H from behind. Into the corner, Kane puts up an elbow. Test in and he's got Triple H with a two rotation sidewalk slam - decking X-Pac in the process with H's feet. Kane on the top turnbuckle - flying clothesline! Tag to Test - I smell a top-rope elbow - and I am wrong as X-Pac crotches him. Kane hits X-Pac and he's to the floor. Kane out after him. Tori in the ring, X-Pac on Tori - Kane's caught up - kicked away, though. In the corner, Tori is immobilised - going for the broncobuster - but Kane is there in time and catches him in a choke. Throwing him outside, Kane and X-Pac brawl and divert Chioda. Back IN the ring, H is ready for the Pedigree, but Test backdrops him. Gutshot - pump handle - H up and over, there's a Golota - Pedigree - that's it. (5:23) Kane slides in too late to help...
Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight as Viscera put Big Show through a table - their match is two minutes away - NEXT! Well, that's what Ross said anyway..
Al Snow talks to....who?
Mech Warrior 3 brings you Armageddon - SUNDAY!!
WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW
VISCERA for the WWF Championship - the
Champ enters first because TRADITION BITES. Ross says this is the largest
amount of beef in one WWF title match and he might be right on that one.
Show meets him on the ramp with headbutts - three of 'em. Clubbing
forearm. In the ring we go, ring the bell. Off the ropes, reversed,
gutshot, Samoan Drop (wow!) by Viscera - but only 2. Pounding away on
him. Big Show with a backdrop suplex (wow!) Boot, boot, right, right,
standing on the neck. Viscera rakes the face and reverses position in the
corner, pounding on him, big ol' bulldog headlock by Viscera (wow!) for 2.
Viscera with - karate chops? Clotheslines takes him over the top rope to
the floor. Mech Warrior 3 provides a Double Feature. Back in the ring,
right, right, right, scoop - AND A SLAM! HOLY SHIT! Big Show - on top?
DROPKICK! 1, 2, 3! (2:23)
No chokeslam for you tonight, sorry.
Post-match, we see that Big Bossman has found Mama Wight, who is crying.
He says he admires Big Show, but he has goals for himself, and any way he
can do it, he will. He's spent many years in law enforcement - and he's
got friends all over the country. He holds in his hand a matter of public
record - a sinister secret from the Wight family's past. "If you don't
tell him what's in this package, I will." "Let me tell him - it should
come from me!" "Exactly what DO you want to tell him?" "I wanna tell him
- he wasn't supposed to know, but let me tell him." "What?" "That he's
illegitimate." "He's illegitimate." "He's illegitimate." "So what
you're saying is your son's a bastard." "Yes...but it was a long time
ago." "You're right, it SHOULD come from you - what I want you to do is
take a look at that red light through that window right there - you just
told the whole world, includin' Paul Wight, Big Freakshow, that he's a
bastard! That he's a bastard! Ha, that's TEN times worse than his daddy
bein' dead! Hey Paul Wight! You're a nasty bastard! And your momma said
so! What kinda person are you? What kinda morals do YOU have?" "Get
"You're a nasty bastard...and your momma said so!" For some reason, that's HILARIOUS. Don't know if it makes up for the overal cheesiness of the whole angle, but...damn, it does make Bossman a vicious sort, though, don't it?
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago - or you could go read two paragraphs up again
Big Show's on the phone - "Why the lie? For 27 years?" Ewww, he's drooling again. He's got to STOP doing that!
ROCK & SOCK CONNECTION v. AL SNOW (with Head) & ? - Next Monday, Rock will be at the Miami Heat Store, where RAW tix will be on sale - well, that's what I heard. Hey, his partner isn't Head, is it? Blue Meanie? Yeah, sure. Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight...Let's Bring You Back where Snow is striking a Raven-esque pose - oh, yeah, that's also Jericho's pose from the other side - yes, the Y2J countdown brings us to CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO. "Welcome to RAW is ... And let me just say, Al Snow, that it is an absolute honour and a pleasure for you to have me as your tag team partner this evening. Thank you. I know that it's tremendous for you to even be associated with the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah - the most legendary, most popular performer that this company has ever seen - and most importantly of all, you've found someone who hates these two idiots as much as you do - I mean Rock, shame on you for choosing such a feeble-minded, portly, braggard of a tag team partner - 'oh, I'm a #1 Best Selling author' - big deal! I've sold a million of these [holding a CD] bad boys by just allowing my swingin' super sexy theme song to be the Opening track [and he flings it] - and Mike Foley, how stupid are you to choose such a goofy-looking, uncharis--" Well at this point Jericho is waffled from behind by THAT SLUT CHYNA who put in a cameo with MISS KITTY and then disappeared as Rock climbed up to take it to Jericho. Meanwhile, Snow and Mankind are trading blows. It's two - two - two brawls in one! Rock rolls Jericho in the ring and the opening bell sounds. Meanwhile, Snow goes up, over the commentary table and to the floor. Mankind stomping away. Jericho's got the upper hand, no, Rock reverses and punches away.
Right again. Whip, reversal - into an elbow.
Jericho now serving as a pinball for Rock & Sock. He rolls out as Snow
climbs the turnbuckle. Running at them but running into a clothesline.
Both men kicking away at Snow. Jericho from behind on Rock - Doubleteam
on the Rock. Referee "Blind" Earl Hebner was a little busy with Mankind
and missed it. Jericho whips Rock, reverse into a Samoan Drop. 1, 2,
Snow breaks it up. Rock grabs Snow and decks him. Jericho taken to
Mankind's boot - tag. Right, right, right, pretend I typed it six more
times. Running knee in the corner. Snow has a chair - Mankind with a
baseball slide dropkick into the chair to take Snow down. Mankind up on
the apron - Jericho springboard dropkick to take him to the floor!
MechWarrior 3 provides a replay while Snow gives Mankind a few chairs in
the back. Rolled back in the ring - nifty splash after launching himelf
from the apron over the top rope. 1, nope. Tag to Snow - Open shot -
kick, right, right, kick, kick, kick, choke. "I'm your friend! I'm your
friend!" Off the ropes, clothesline by Snow, tag to Jericho. On top -
both men on top - double dropkick off the top! Well, sorta - Snow kinda
missed - oh well. Suplex by Jericho - Lionsault MISSES! Rock looking for
the tag...but Jericho's got the leg - Mankind kicks him away - HOT TAG!
ROCK ON FIRE! DDT! SPINEBUSTER! It matters now who gets what! Snow
breaks the count at 2. Rock and Jericho on the outside as Mankind hits
his double underhook DDT on Snow. Hebner off with Rock and Jericho - ROCK
BOTTOM ON THE RAMP! Now the NEW AGE
OUTLAWS are out as Mankind puts the
Mandible Socko (Rocko?) on Snow. After putting the boots to the Rock,
they now are on Mankind. Crowd chanting "Rock E." Gunn and Dogg just
firing away on Mankind. Well the Rock must be all better 'cause he's in
the ring. Rock Bottom on Mr. Ass! Snow back in with a Head shot on
Mankind! Snow still says "I'm your real friend!" - the credits are up -
umm, who won that match? Well, WE saw (6:00). I'll see YOU