/20 December 1999
WWF RAW is WAR
WWFE 14 3/16 (- 2
5/16) - trading at all-time lows, by the
way. Not that that MEANS anything, despite what other folks will try to
have you believe, wink wink
TONIGHT: It's a very special Christmas RAW! What's special about it? We're not gonna tell you anything about it in the Walker hype spot, other than the fact that Triple H & Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley are in the building! Come back at the top of the hour!
One TV-14-DLV World Leader Attituded - WWF
Stephanie McMahon's wearing a Santa hat! She and Triple H are on a sofa while the Mean Street Posse (in tuxes) stand behind them - Hunter says it sure seems like only he and she have the holiday spirit at the moment. How can we rectify this? Guess it's time to once again give. Hunter promises that tonight it'll be a very RAW Christmas
Opening credits - note the new, prominent placement of the Helmsley couple - note also the closed captioned logo
FIREWORKS WHEEEEE are LIVE from the Compaq Center in Houston, TX 20.12.99 and it WILL be a very RAW Christmas
TEST v. NEW AGE OUTLAWS in a Handicap match - Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! where Stephanie disqualified Test for using the closed fist against Kurt Angle, then led him into a DX beatdown culmniating in a rebroken nose. Test wears a protective mask tonight a la Laimbeer (f'r instance) Dogg tries to distract Test with his mic stylings, but Test clotheslines the charging Mr. Ass and cleans house until the doubleteam can kick in. Ass opens up the face for a punch from the Dogg. Kick in the face from Ass. Backstage, we see the Hardys and Edge & Christian (oh, and Terri) looking on. Dogg with a dropkick to the nose - Ass covers - 2. I'm pretty sure nearly EVERY shot in this match has served to help work over Test's broken nose here. And yet, he won't give up. Wotta MAN! off the ropes, double backdrop attempt is countered by Test into a double DDT. Ass and Test up - Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine, big boots to both men. Gutwrench into a powerbomb for Ass, pumphandle - but Ass dropkicks and Dogg lands on him in a cover - kickout at 2! Jackhammer from Ass, pumphandle by Dogg - the mask is removed - Fame'Asser! Dogg covers - 1, 2, 3. (3:27) We look backstage, where Stephanie says "Merry Christmas, Test!" The Posse enters the picture, having brought Edge, Christian and the Hardys with them. Ahh, so the reason the Helmsleys are hard on THESE guys is because they were GROOMSMEN at the wedding! Of COURSE! Anyway, they're tired of fighting each other, they say. Stephanie whispers in Triple H's ear, and they decide that tonight, instead of fighting each other, Matt & Edge will take on Christian & Jeff in a tag team battle.
"Stone Cold's Hell Yeah" and WrestleMania XV DVD ad
Kurt Angle meets with the Helmsleys. Stephanie still seems kinda sweet on him. Triple H tells him he's booked tonight against Viscera.
RAW is WAR is brought to you by Snickers, Sony PlayStation, and Western Union Money Transfer!
MATT HARDY (with Terri) & EDGE v. JEFF HARDY (with Terri) & CHRISTIAN -
are aligned so that the winners of the inter-team matches on SmackDown!
face the losers. Interesting, no? I'm guessing the losers win so
everybody's even again. After a quick strategy session, Matt & Edge jump
Christian & Jeff. Jeff's beard is GOOFY, I just noticed. Matt goes out.
Jeff on the apron - back in as Edge slides out. Baseball slide dropkick
on Edge - and Christian hits a springboard plancha on his brother! Then
Jeff hits a tope on HIS brother. Edge buries a fist on Jeff as he flies
back in - Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Christian while Edge hits an "I
dunno" on Jeff. Christian out, Jeff off the ropes, double backdrop - Matt
covers for 2. Head to the buckle by Matt. Scoop - hot shot on the top
rope - backdrop suplex - 2 for Matt. Terri is stunned. Tag to Edge,
still on him with fists. Snap suplex. 1, 2, kickout. Choke on the
second rope. Edge distracting the ref while Matt chokes his brother on
the ropes. Standing dropkick by Edge. Tag to Matt. "Terri" chant by the
wrestling-knowledgable crowd. Scoop - and a slam. Tag to Edge, cover, 2.
Off the ropes, got him up, but Jeff dropkicks him on his way down. Both
men down, referee "Blind" Tim White puts on the count, tag to Matt, HOT
TAG to Christian! AND THE CROWD STAYS PRETTY DAMN QUIET! Christian tags
everybody, INCLUDING his partner - oops. Edge and Matt take advantage of
Christian's lapse - Edge slides Jeff out of the ring while Matt positions
Christian for an elbowdrop from Edge. Matt covers - 1, 2, Jeff saves with
a senton bomb. Edge spears Jeff - 1, 2, Chrstian saves. Matt breaks up
Christian's Tomokaze attempt on Edge with a gutshot and a Diamond Cutter -
1, 2, Jeff breaks it up. Is this a Tejas Tornado match? Pier Four Brawl
continues - all fours assisted side kick fails when Christian gets out of
the way - Edge lands feet on the turnbuckle, Jeff charges and dropkicks
Edge OVER the turnbuckle to the floor - yow! And now Christian DOES hit
his Tomokaze on Matt Hardy - Jeff off the top rope with a firebird splash
(!) - 1, 2, 3. (5:11) Hey, the losers DID
win! Terri expresses some righteous indignation and all three men check on
Matt, who is bleeding.
Meanwhile, back in the Helmsley dressing room, the Posse has brought Moolah and Mae Young. Stephanie says she and Hunter would like to give them a present - a nice bottle - Young lunges for it but Hunter pulls it away. He's actually got a better present for them - a match - a tag team triple threat match between them, the Acolytes and the Dudley Boyz. Moolah gives Stephanie a tongue-lashing and storms off. Hunter says he can't wait to hear JR call that one - Stephanie says that reminds her, it's time to give JR HIS gift. JR: "Oh, no..."
The Slam of the Week is brought to you by 1-800-COLLECT! From SmackDown!, Jim Ross stops short of actually SAYING "bitch," but Stephanie slaps him anyway.
Here's an exterior of the Compaq Center.
The WWF was ranked #5 in the "best entertainers of the year" in this week's Entertainment Weekly. Here's a look at the photo of Vince McMahon and the Rock!
TREBLE H & STEPHANIE McMAHON-HELMSLEY walk to the ring. Have I mentioned the pretty green patina given the chyron scaffolding tonight? How many people need that sentence clarified, you think? Heh heh. Anyway, Stephanie invites LARRY KING into the ring, claiming to come in peace. Ross, who ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer, complies, entering the ring. Triple H says "Shut up!" to stoke the fire before handing THE STICK over to Stephanie. "What - what's with this, you know, Entertainment Weekly, you're talking about Vince and the Rock, and they're the greatest entertainers. Obviously you're a little late, I mean HERE are the two GREATEST entertainers of 1999!" "You know, Steph, I can't help but think - Entertainment Weekly kinda - they kinda missed the boat on that whole thing, don't you think? Couple of weeks late. I mean, this is the deal, and although this place LOOKS rather festive...there just seems - hey, don't go anywhere. You stand right here, I'm not done talking to you - you got it? This place seems to be lacking in direction, so I'll tell you what, Kevin Dunn - you put it up - NOW." "Are you ready?" the two screens to the side of the EntertainmentTron change to giant photos of Stephanie and Triple H.
"Now, see, that's much better. That is the type of
picture that a magazine like Entertainment Weekly should use to grace their
pages - don'tcha thank, JR? Now, JR, last week you had some...interesting
comments..." ["Rock E" chant] "It's live, but I'll wait all damn night!
Now you had some interesting comments and you ended up getting your little
face slapped for. Now JR, we feel badly about that. Stephanie would like
to talk to you about that." "Please, please - JR - look me in my eyes - I
just want you to know that - that - I'm really - I'm really not bothered by
it anymore, I've - I've forgiven you. I - I know that - I know that you
didn't mean to INSULT me that way. I know that you didn't mean to, JR,
look at me, I'm tellin' you, I want you to know that I'm telling you the
truth - I know that you didn't me to, you know HURT my feelings, but I just
wanted to tell you that it felt - it felt kinda good to slap you that way.
Now this is gonna feel even better." Triple H has gotten in the schoolboy
position for Stephanie to push him over. With Ross on the mat, H grabs him
to break his arm again. "JR, I know you remember this - so Merry Chris-"
music is up - and so is he! Ross gets back to his headset.
"In the words of Popeye the sailor, 'I stands all I can stands, and I can't
stands no more!' You see, Triple H, I stood back there, I watched ya pick
on Mae Young, I watched ya pick on the Fabulous Moolah, I saw you try to
bully around JR, so I'm asking you Triple H - why don't you pick on
somebody your own size? You see, I've stood silent, I watched this piece
of crap you call the 'McMahon-Helmsley era,' and until now I've stayed
silent - sure, I've wrapped a trash can around your buddies' heads but I've
kept my mouth shut, so I'm here tonight - in Houston, Texas - to tell you
flat out that I think the McMahon-Helmsley era...kinda sucks. And as far
as you, Stephanie, the gall you have to defame the good name of Santa Claus
with a hat like that, well, I know Santa walks around saying 'ho ho ho...'
but I'm not exactly sure you're the type of ho he had in mind. Take it
off, come on Hunter, take it off, I'm beggin ya, come on! Is she really
holding you back? Is she holding you back?" She's actually whispering in
his ear again. "No, she's not holding me back, she's giving me an idea.
You want me to pick on somebody my own size? You really seem to be a lot
bigger in some areas than I am, so I tell ya what I'm gonna do, since you
seem to be itching so bad for a fight, I mean, Thursday, sticking your nose
in business it doesn't belong in [pause for "asshole" chant] and tonight,
defending that piece of trash [Mankind throws a thumbs-up to Ross - ha!] -
you wanna interfere? You want a fight? Well I tell you what, tonight,
right here, you're gonna get a fight. YOU are gonna be in a Boiler Room
match - tonight." "Triple H, please, please, I've been a good boy all
year, PLEASE tell me it's with you!" "I tell you what - I'm not gonna tell
you WHO it's gonna be with - it might be with me - it might not be with me
- but one way or the other - you, my friend, are gonna walk into a Boiler
Room tonight, and you are gonna get YOUR ASS KICKED." "Mick, I just wanted
to say...Merry Christmas." And then she slaps him one. How cool and leggy
"WIWF" "Man in the Moon" ad
OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST & CELEBRATED REAL ATHLETE KURT ANGLE v. VISSSSSSSSSSSCERA - "First of all, your Olympic hero would like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas. As the holiday season is fast approaching, I have a great idea for a New Year's Resolution for all of you. As all of you know, I've had success my whole entire life, and I continue to have success here in the World Wrestling Federation, and why? Because I follow MY simple set of rules that I call the three I's. Yes, that's right - intensity, integrity and intelligence. And if you follow MY three I's, and make it part of YOUR New Year's Resolution, you too can accomplish anything you want to, and you too can have the happiest New Year you could ever imagine possible." We take a look back at Stephanie and Hunter - Stephanie's sulking while Hunter's saying "Merry Christmas." Lockup, Viscera shoves him to the canvas. Viscera's de facto face, who'da thunk it? Lockup, gobehind, angle tries a takeover, Viscera shakes his head and bulldogs Angle to the mat. Double choke, and dropped down. Head to the buckle. Kneelifts in the corner. Angle ducks out and pounds on him. Whip into the corner is reversed, into the opposite corner, Samoan Drop (!). Off the ropes, Alleged Spinning Heel Kick is ducked. Angle with a dropkick, there's two, Viscera on one knee - climbing up to the top - top-rope missile dropkick takes him to the mat! Angle with a brief celebration. Here's STEVE BLACKMAN come out with a kendo stick. Angle occupying the attention of referee "Blind" Chad Patten while Blackman - WHACKS the back of Viscera's head. Angle over and there's a semi-fireman's carry - cover - 1, 2, 3. (1:54) Angle into the histrionics while Blackman nods knowingly. We go backstage, where Stephanie wonders aloud howEVER Steve Blackman would come out to come to the aid of "Kurt Kute?"
Stephanie: "Merry Christmas, Triple H." Triple H insinuates she may
have had something to do with that while Stephanie puts on her innocent
Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah prepare for their big match. Oh boy, jumping jacks!
The Dudley Boyz - ARE - WALKING!
Elsewhere, the Acolytes are - ALSO - WALKING!
FABULOUS MOOLAH & MAE YOUNG v. DUDLEY BOYZ v. ACOLYTES in a Triple Threat tag match - D-Von works the crowd and counts off the three commandments. They RUSH the old folks! Backstage, we see Mark Henry watching on a monitor. The Acolytes' music starts, so the Dudleyz let Young & Moolah escape so they can be ready for the Acolytes. Pier Four Brawl IS on, paired off by race, with D-Von and Faarooq on the outside. Bradshaw holding Buh Buh Ray for Moolah & Young to come back in and punch him! Buh Buh Ray's trick knee acts up, breaing the hold, and both women go down with one blow. Bradshaw with a clothesline. Bradshaw out to chen con Moolah, but Buh Buh Ray is back up - scoop and a slam on Young. Then he holds her legs apart for D-Von to headbutt her in the groin! Buh Buh Ray covers Young in the 69 position - 1, 2, 3. (1:40) SEXUAL CHOCKLIT MIZARK HENRY runs out and does a bit of housecleaning with the Dudleys, then tends to his woman. The Acolytes regard all this with a small measure of confusion.
The Helmsleys laugh, then when the Posse laughs, Hunter tells 'em to shut up - "Hey, that stuff's not funny!" Hunter presents a present to Stephanie - this'll tell us who Mankind's Boiler Room Brawl opponent will be. Stephanie unwraps the present - but it's a Santa doll. Mankind will take on Santa Claus in the Boiler Room - NEXT!
MICHAEL KING COLE interviews Mankind, who doesn't feel too good about having to wrestle Santa tonight. Rodney interrupts proceedings, distracting him just long enough for Pete "Gas" and Joey Abs to strike. They deposit him in the Boiler Room and shout "Merry Christmas!" before closing the door.
MANKIND v. SANTA CLAUS in a Boiler Room Brawl - "Wait, did I just get my ass kicked by the Mean Street Posse? That's embarrassing!" Spying Santa, Mankind walks over and tells Santa he's gonna turn his back so he can leave and win the match. "Don't worry, I'll put ya over!" But before this can happen, THREE MORE SANTAS jump Mankind. But Mankind manages to take them all out, with the help of a garbage can. He goes into the Santa bag, which is filled with frying pans for some reason, and whacks on the garbage can one of them is wearing. Before he can get out, TWO MORE SANTAS appear between Mankind and the door. Actually, these two are the Outlaws. Mankind put through a table.
Mankind manages to come back and,
with the help of a cookie sheet, put both men down. Spotting a picture
frame, Mankind advances singing "The Christmas Song," but before he can use
it, ONE MORE
jumps Mankind with a loaded bag, shattering the glass in
the frame, then to Mankind's back. "But I heard him exclaim as he rose out
of sight, 'I've got two words for all - suck it!'" We hear "Jingle Bells"
play as we watch Triple H exit the Boiler Room. Teddy Long deadpans
"Here's your winner - Santa Claus!" and Triple H makes with the "ho ho ho"
and - that was pretty funny, I'm ashamed to admit. (4:26)
Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago as the Helmsleys and the Posse watch the replays along with us. There's a knock at the door, and it's Al Snow - he demands a Brahma Bullrope match with the Rock. Helmsley says he NEVER comes in and makes demands, but he'll give him the match anyway. "I'm gonna take that bell, I'm gonna polish it up real nice, I'm gonna turn it sideways, and then I'm gonna BEAT HIM ON THE HEAD REPEATEDLY-" "Al! Can you describe it outside, please?"
GODFATHER (with twelve - no, six ho's, RAW credits & TV-14-DLV ratings box) v. CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO for the Intercontinental championship - Godfather need only say "It's time once again" and the crowd can fill in the rest. Godfather, by the way, is a fun loving guy who loves to have fun. I am SHOCKED that the ref isn't Tim White. Lockup, into the corner, clean break, Godfather punches away, off the ropes, duck, big boot from the Godfather. Off the ropes, elbowdrop misses. Jericho with knees, into the ropes, reversed, back elbow, Jericho pulls the top rope and Godfather goes outside. Springs off the top rope with a dropkick and then goes out after him. Punching and kicking - going for a piledriver, but Godfather reverses into a backdrop. Godfather charges but Jericho ducks and runs him into the post. Back into the ring we go - top rope, nope, punch buried in the gut. Godfather with a clothesline. Scoop ... and a slam. Thrust kick by the Godfather. THAT SLUT CHYNA is walking to the ring. Jericho gets the boots up to stop the charge, then HE charges - and ends up face-first into the top turnbuckle. It's time once again for the Ho Train, but Chyna's in the ring and there's a Golota. Referee "Blind" Chad Patten misses this as all six ho's have inexplicably climbed onto the Jericho covers - 1, 2, 3. (2:45) Jericho acts confused while Chyna makes faces.
Triple H says women are crazy one more time to annoy Stephanie. "It's just a figure of speech!" Terri and BB are in the room and Triple H tells them they'll be accompanying Hardcore Holly and Val Venis is the first-ever Holiday Topless Top-Rope Match. Every time a guy's thrown over the top rope to the floor, his girl removes a piece of clothing. First topless girl loses. The winning guy gets an IC title shot Thursday. "May the breast women win!" Stephanie seems annoyed with this, snapping at the Posse yet again.
What's the deal with this ad? The evil clowns kidnap the elves and
then get all pissy with the Santa because he can't convince the kid who
wants a bicycle for Christmas that he'd really rather have videogames
instead? Is that basically it? What am I not getting here?
BB and TERRI are out for the next match
VAL VENIS v. HARDCORE HOLLY (with Crash and Scale Holly) in a Holiday Topless Top-Rope match - "Hello, ladies! You know something ladies, you women are a lot like Christmas trees, you know, you smell good, you're pretty to look at, but you never really feel special until I plug it in and light you up!" Wait, is he a face or a heel this week? Ross makes fun of Lilian Garcia for saying "opponent and challenger" again. Before the match starts, "My Time" starts for the hundredth time and out walks TREBLE H to lend an MC vibe to the proceedings. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first ever holiday topless top-rope match! Let the games begin!" Lockup, arm wringer, pounding on the back. One more rotation, headlock, Venis powers out into a side headlock of his own. To the ropes, shrugged off, shoulderblock, off the ropes, leapfrog, kicks from Venis, duck, Venis has him in the powerbomb position, Holly punching to block it, to the ropes, Holly head scissors and they BOTH go out. "Okay - gentlemen have hit the floor - ladies, start removing - Terri...SHOES are not considered clothing - so let's get to takin' off the dresses! Come on, we don't have all day, I'm sure if you just grab the bottom and pull it will come off over your head. Go. Your JOBS are on the line." Both women remove their dresses to reveal the standard bra and panties - and I can't TELL you how happy I am that Michael Hayes is sitting in for Jerry Lawler this week. "I am a god among men - continue." Back to the ring (huh?) - punches exchanged, off the ropes, reversed, shoulderblock by Venis, off the ropes, up and over, best dropkick in the business by Holly. Right, right, scoop, Venis goes behind, Holly reverses as well. Off the ropes, rollup, but Venis holds on. Off the ropes, Holly takes him over, but Venis holds on. Holly keeps him from skinning the cat by sliding under to the outside, grabbing Venis, and dumping him into the front row. (2:02) "There you have it - Val Venis has touched the floor - Terri you are excused. BB, it seems that you only have one article of clothing in which to remove...BB, don't anger me now, let those puppies free. I will say it again, your job is on the line - let them free." As BB removes her bra, Triple H stands in front of her and opens his leather jacket so as to keep everybody else from seeing anything. "Oh my God! That is unbelievable! You have got to be kidding me!" BB covers her tits with her hands and runs backstage. "Hey, I will let you in on it - THAT was magnificent! And what's that old Christmas carol, 'Do You See What I See?' No you don't! Because you're a bunch of idiots, and I'm the only one that gets the show!" Anyway, Hardcore Holly gets a shot at Jericho on Thursday - that match should be pretty cool. Venis still has his European title, so don't feel TOO bad for him.
Let Us Take You Back to SmackDown! and Al Snow and Mankind's hardcore match, which goes a bit of the way towards explaining tonight's match between Snow and Rock. If you don't know why, go find the report.
The Rock - oh my God - is - WALKING!
AL SNOW (with Head) v. LA ROCA
in a Braham Bullrope Match - FINE,
I'll transcribe it. Merry Christmas! "Finally, the Rock has come back to
Houston! Jabrone, the Rock realises what type of match is at hand - a
bullrope match - so the Rock says you've left him with two choices. The
first choice is that the Rock gracefully bow out, walk up the ramp, and
you're declared the winner of the match. The second choice...seeing as the
Rock is the Brahma bull and we are in the great state of Texas...the Rock
figured he'd step down from the ropes, just like this...step through the
ropes, just like this...surrounded by the millions...of Rock's fans, the
Rock says he'll just whip your monkey ass all over Houston." Snow lunges
at him but Rock ducks the attack and lays into him with rights. Off the
ropes, back elbow. Rock puts the rope on. Right, right, Snow to the
outside, Rock follows. Pulling on the rope, Snow hits the post. Pulled
into a clothesline from the Rock. Head to the barricade. Now rolled back
in the ring, Rock follows. But Snow gets Rock with the bell - 1, 2, nope.
Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, whip into the ropes, clothesline with the rope.
Snow wraps his right fist with the rope and punches - nine times. Now
choking him with the rope. Tim White very audibly says "Four minutes."
Aww, come on, at least let me PRETEND it's real. Snow up on top - standing
on the top turnbuckle - trying to HANG him! Snow brought in with a flip.
There's a knee from Snow, off the ropes, back elbow. Again with the rope
around the neck, again standing on the turnbuckle, again Snow is brought in
with a flip. "Three minutes!" Rock coming back with punches - whip,
brought back, Samoan Drop - 1, 2, nope! Kick, punch, punch, punch, punch,
right hand that takes Snow down. Now with three or four more rights.
White attempting to get between them but he's unwittingly standing over the
rope - Snow pulls it up and Golotas White with it. Rock grabs the bell and
swings - but Snow shields himself with White an he goes down HARD after the
bell shot. Snow with a clothesline. Now SNOW has the bell, and there's a
bell shot. Snow outside, and dragging Rock - no, removing the rope from
his wrist. He's outside and he has a chair. Back in the ring, Rock ducks
the wild swing, hits a gutshot and DDT's Snow. The NEW AGE OUTLAWS are in
- Rock takes care of both of them a little too easily. Spinebuster for
Snow. Time now for the People's Elbow - but the Road Dogg catches him with
a STEEL chair as he runs the ropes. Snow covers - White REcovers -
1....2.....KICKOUT! They better hurry, they only got forty seconds left!
Dogg in - Rock Bottom! But turning around, Ass hits him with a gutshot,
and then the Fame'Asser. Snow covers, White counts - 1.....2......3. And
they have fifteen seconds to spare! Let's play Snow's new music one more
Ross: "DAMN DX! DAMN Triple H!"
Back in the dressing room, the Posse crowds the TV to get a better look. Then Rodney accidentally knocks over a vase, spilling water on Triple H and Stephanie's nice shoes. Instead of goind ballistic, Triple H demurs and says he'll give them a match as a Christmas bonus. "No, it's not the Acolytes. The three of you tonight against the two members of Too Cool....I tell you what, if you ever dump water on me again though, you'll get the Acolytes every night for a year."
Tori is ranting and raving when we come back. Helmsley says in order to mend the fence, he'll give Kane a title shot against the Big Show tonight - oh, but if Kane loses, then Tori has to spend the holidays with X-Pac.
MEAN STREET POSSE v. TOO COOL &
RIKISHI PHATU - they gonna wrestle
in their tux jackets? Oh, no, apparently they'll take the jackets off.
Lilian Garcia announces this match as a 6-man instead of a handicap match,
causing Pete and Rodney to complain to our announcers, LARRY KING & MICHAEL
HAYES (weird that we don't see them until the last
quarter hour, ain't it?
Lawler's at the "Man on the Moon" premiere, thanks for asking.) After
failing to get the match changed back to a handicap match, the Posse
strikes and a Pier Six Brawl breaks out. Of course, Too Cool get the
better of Rodney & Pete 'cause they suck - now there's a double Irish whip
on Rikishi into Joey Abs. Grandmaster with a Dunno Suplex on Abs and
Scotty 2 Hottie hits the Worm/Centipede/Snake?/Whatever. Rodney gets a
surprise clothesline while Pete distracts referee "Blind" Teddy Long.
Rodney with a hard whip of Taylor into the corner. Tag to Pete - tripleteam
in the corner. Off the ropes, clothesline by Pete. Tag to Abs. Gutshot,
headlock, suplex by Abs. Cover for 2. Tag to Rodney - right, scoop...and
a slam. Tag to Abs. Bringing him up - and taking him down. Abs to the
top rope - but nobody home for the elbowdrop. Taylor crawling to his
corner - tag to Rikishi! He's a SAMOAN WHO'S THROWIN' (.......down!) The
Pier Six brawl is back on, climaxing with a Banzai Drop on Joey Abs, then a
Rikishi Drop on Rodney for the pin. (6:05) NOW IS THE TIME ON
WHEN WE DANCE! You know, Scott Taylor would make a good No Limit Soldier...
Triple H and Stephanie marvel at their "mistake" - then promise to themselves (and the camerman, and millions of viewers) that the upcoming title match will have PLENTY of mistakes...
And now Lugz presents the WWF Boot of the Week! From SmackDown!, Tori suffers an X Factor from X-Pac.
1-800-COLLECT proudly sponsors the WWF Royal Rumble - 23 January 2000 from the sold out Madison Square Garden - you be watchin' it on pay-per-view if you don't have the tix by now!
KANE (with Tori) v. WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW for the WWF Championship - for the thousandth time, "My Time" plays - this time TREBLE H & STEPHANIE McMAHON-HELMSLEY both appear - looks like their recliner has been set up. Kane strikes first. Show reverses a whip, Kane ducks and hits a big boot. Show comes back with a Russian legsweep. There's an elbowdrop and a 2 count. Kane punches, Show headbutts, repeat. Show catches a boot, Kane hits an enzuigiri and Show goes outside to the floor. Kane on the top turnbuckle - flying clothesline to the floor! Kane with an uppercut. Head to the barricade is blocked and Show takes KANE'S head to the barricade instead. Now dropping him on the barricade.
He's gonna do it again
but Kane comes loose and pushes him into the STEEL ringpost and stairs.
Right, right, right, right, right, right, Show pops up and grabs a handy
STEEL chair. Referee "Blind" Mike Chioda calls for the bell
(DQ 2:10) -
but before the decision can be announced, Triple H: "Whoa whoa whoa Chioda,
Chioda! Sorry, I forgot to tell you in the back - this match is 'no DQ.'
The match continues, go! Continue the match! Big Show takes Kane's head
to the STEEL steps. Got him in the choke - but Kane knees out of it.
Right, right, whip into the barricade, but Show reverses it and dumps him
over the barricade. Meanwhile, Chioda's been back in the ring and he got
to ten. (DCOR
Stephanie: "No no no, ah, I'm sorry Chioda - there
are no countouts in this match - no countouts." "Chioda - what the hell,
while you're at it you might as well make it 'Falls Count Anywhere' -
continue the match." Hey, is that WALKER, the TEXAS RANGER? Nah, probably
not. Show lunges at Kane, but he dumps him over the barricade in an
impressive flip. Then he climbs to the top of the barricade and delivers a
flying clothesline (sorta) to the floor. 1-800-COLLECT provides a replay
following a 2 count. Kane takes Show's head to the STEEL steps. Right,
Show comin back with rights, Kane punching, Big Show with a headbutt, and a
backdrop suplex on the floor. Both men down - Big Show tries a cover - 1,
2, nope. Both men up and both men punching. Now Kane's punching is
unanswered. Again they go to the barricade. Whip is reversed and Kane
goes HARD into the STEEL steps. Show sets up the steps, goes back to Kane
and delivers a few elbows. Now Show has the steps in his arms - but Kane
dropkicks him to the floor! The NEW
AGE OUTLAWS are out (anybody seen
X-Pac tonight?) Kane has Show scooped up to his shoulder, but puts him
down as the Outlaws were getting too close to Tori. This is just enough
distraction for Kane to turn back into a gutshot and - Show says "you
better move" then powerbombs him through the commentary table. 1, 2, 3.
(6:54) Mr. Ass
puts Tori over his shoulder and carries her back up the
ramp. Triple H: "I'd just like to say that this has been a lot of fun for
us, and I'd like to wish the world watching, including you Tori, and to our
bro X-Pac, have a very RAW Christmas!" The War Zone credits are up - and
we're OUTTA HERE! See you Thursday for more STUFF!