QUICK QUOTE: WWFE 15 (+ 13/16) - according to a press release, the St. Valentine's Day RAW taping in San Jose sold out in two hours. Is it too early to start to harrass my producers to get them to try to get me into the Arena that night?

TONIGHT: A four team intergender tag match? Oh but yes. Also, Stephanie and Triple H will be around...and...um...that's enough, ain't it? Stay tuned!

Closed captioned symbol and opening credits

DIG THEM CRAZY FIREWORKS baby, we are LIVE from the Greensboro, NC Colesium for the last RAW of the Year (if not also some other, larger periods of time) - 27.12.99 and it's sold out...or so they would have us believe.

STEPHANIE McMAHON-HELMSLEY & D-GENERATION X walk to the ring as the huge pictures of Stephanie and Triple H we saw last week once again take over the screens to either side of the EntertainmenTron. Ross thinks tonight just might be a night we'll never forget - humm. Triple H speaks first: "The last RAW of a new millennium!" Huh? Let's try that again. "The final RAW before a new millennium - and how fitting it should be that the McMahon-Helmsley Era is runnin' the show! You know, the reality of it is...it doesn't really matter what happened before today - it doesn't really matter what has happened in the WWF in the last thousand years - what matters is right here, right now. And right here, right now, we ARE the be-all, end-all in the World Wrestling Federation. What you are looking at is the near perfect completion of the perfect plan - and I say 'near perfect' because there's just one little thing for us left to accomplish, and that one little thing involves the World Wrestling Federation championship. So tonight, ["Rock E" chant] so tonight, Big Show, you will be the completion of our plan - tonight Big Show, you WILL, because we order you to, step into this ring with the singest - singest, is that a word? - the single greatest athlete in the World Wrestling Federation today - the greatest wrestler of all time - you will step into the ring with The Game - and you will help me to complete the ultimate plan, as right here, in the middle, I lay your big goofy ass down, and you stare up at that ceiling for a big 1, 2, 3 - and I become the champion for the new millennium." Stephanie: "The McMahon-Helmsley Era is going strong into the new millennium...but last Thursday on SmackDown! I kept my word. I'm a McMahon, I kept my word. And tonight, Kane (who's probably out looking for Tori) ["slut" chant] will have to face you, X-Pac. Now a McMahon ALWAYS, always keeps their word, unless they're FORCED to break it. And Mankind forced me to break my word last Thursday on SmackDown! There will be no unionasation or rabblerousing - I was FORCED to break my word, isn't that right?" "You know, the guys in the back need to realise one thing - it is gonna be a whole lot easier to be with us than it is to be against us. Mick Foley is a prime example of exactly that - Mick, no longer will you stand in the back trying to raise up a group against us - no longer will you stay, trying to rally forces to raise the fists, against us. Mick, you learned your lesson, and everybody else needs to learn that lesson - that WE are the power--" But the music of MANKIND interrupts things and a maskless Foley walks out. "Hey Triple H, you're right - there will be no unionising, there will be no rabblerousing, there will be no munity, you see tonight in Greensboro, North Carolina, I'm all by myself. But you see, I've got a lot on my mind, I've got some points to make as it pertains to DX, and I sure as hell am gonna make those points here tonight. You see, Triple H, Billy, Road Dogg, X-Pac, I, like a lot of people out there, used to think DX was...pretty cool. Well it was only 364 days ago, last December 28th that I sat on DX's shoulders as they paraded me around the ring in Worcester, Massachusetts as I was crowned the WWF Champion for the very first time! But now, one day short of one year later, I don't see a bunch of cool guys - I see a bunch of gutless cowards, scurrying around like little frightened children, running to their overbearing mom and dad. So I ask you first off, Road Dogg, take a look at yourself, and you tell me how it felt to have Test drop that big elbow on you. You tell me, Road Dogg, how it feels knowin' damn well that you're one of the most creative, one of the most entertaining SOB's in this company - reduced to nothing more than Triple H's bootlicker. And Billy Gunn, Billy Gunn, you tell me how it felt to have Kane's hand around your throat - to have the hell beaten out of you by a guy like Kane - you call yourself Mr. Ass? I call you Mr. Ass-kisser! And X-Pac, maybe it's a good thing you were on hiatus, because if you were not, you would certainly have been thrown to the wo- well, well, I guess this week you will be thrown to the wolves as well. So here's my point. Triple H is after the WWF Championship, and believe me when I say to you, he cares about nothing else - and so, if Triple H becomes the WWF Champion, take my word for it, he will leave DX high and dry, because he does not give a damn about you, he does not give a damn about you, and I don't truly think any of us really give a damn about you [to X-Pac]. Stephanie, one more thing, before I get outta here, the Godfather has a message from me - he wants you in the back with the other ho's." Well, all four men put the boots to Foley - well, Triple H starts it, but then stands back and lets the other three continue...and now LA ROCA is out, and he and Mankind turn the tide - DX scatters while the Rock & Sock Connection poses and Rock's music plays. At the top of the ramp, Triple H speaks again. "I'm sick of this! That's it! I'm sick of this! That's it...no more! This damn place isn't big enough for the three of us. DX, Mankind, Rock, this place isn't big enough for all of us - somebody's gotta leave. So I'll tell you what...[Stephanie whispers] I'll tell ya what ["Rock E" chant] ...you people tonight are gonna see the last of the Rock & Sock Connection - never again will they be before you because tonight, IN - THAT - VERY - RINGUH, the two of you - Mick, Rock - will fight each other - IN - a

TitanTron Live ad - Jakks' back!

"Eve of Destruction" is more than a crappy movie - it's a WWF show this Friday on USA at 11pm!

Kane - PACES! We are told that he is anxiously awaiting Tori's arrival... Let Us Take You Back to Last Week as Kane lost a matchup with the Big Show, thanks to a bit of distraction from DX - as a result, Tori spent the holidays with X-Pac - and we haven't seen her yet.

THAT SLUT CHYNA (and Ernest Miller) are out - "Hey Crash, you wanna open challenge me - you wanna call me out, you wanna trash-talk me, well you come out here right now - I'm gonna show you what happens when you talk trash behind Chyna's back." Let Us Take You Back to Last Thursday where Crash brought about the DQ when Jericho was ready to get the tapout on Hardcore, thanks to a belt shot. Chyna then came out and helped Jericho clear the ring of Hollys, much to all of our confusion.

THAT SLUT CHYNA (with Ernest Miller) v. CRASH HOLLY (with Scale & Hardcore Holly) - Hardcore distracts Chyna and Crash strikes from behind. Hardcore takes the third headset while Crash takes Chyna off the ropes and hits a back elbow. Right, right, off the ropes, clothesline, 1, 2, no. 1-800-COLLECT provides a Double Feature of the first attack - from an angle where we actually see what happens, thank you. Out of the corner, whip is reversed, Chyna with an elbow, forearm, forearm, forearm, kick, kic, Irish whip into the opposite corner - now with the gymnastics - into a - splash, I guess. Gutshot, DDT, 1, 2, nope. Hangman's neckbreaker - 1, 2, 3. (1:15) That's a bit of a shock - not that Chyna won, but that that was what did it. Hardcore hoots it up a bit, saying HE'D not have that problem. Well that was fun. Kat in the ring - what, she fell over? Oh, I guess that hi-five was so hard that Kat couldn't handle the full force, or something. Anyway, Hardcore yuks it up with his cousin (who is semi-conscious and saying "what happened?")

Backstage, Tori hugs Kane - she's so glad to be back. And now she's going to relate how her weekend went. Her weekend was absolutely fabulous. (Kane: "Whaa?") If Tori had to use only one word to describe X-Pac, it would have to be "gentlemen." Despite all the gifts, the presents, and the pampering, all she thought about was Kane. Then she kisses him right on the mask. As she walks out to get Kane a drink, Kane cocks his head in the "confused puppy" look.

Yahoo! Sequel to "Friday!" I'm THERE!

"During the Break" footage shows Tori running into Steve Lombardi - and once again relating the story about the week going fine. But a subsequent encounter with Test turns bad when he tries to give her a hug, she freezes up - her expression *completely* changes - she drops her Snapple (hey! That's a waste of a perfectly good Snapple!) and runs off. "What the hell was THAT all aboot?"

LILIAN GARCIA introduces our special guest timekeeper PETE "GAS", our special guest referee RRR-JOEY ABS, and our special guest ring announcer RODNEY. Good God almighty, Lilian, does the guy in the stripes LOOK that much like Rodney?

FOUR CORNERS TAG: GODFATHER & D'LO BROWN (with eight - no, four ho's - and matching pimp hats) v. DUDLEY BOYZ (in camo) v. EDGE (you think?) & CHRISTIAN v. ACOLYTES

Backstage, Tori is hysterical. Kane tries to get her to calm down. "Test - he touched me - he touched me, all right? He was looking at me - God, he was saying these things to me - Kane - he violated me." Kane hugs Tori and says "Yahhhhhhhhhhhh" or something like that.

Stephanie brandishes her new ring - "that's a heck of a rock, isn't it? Speaking of the Rock, either he or Mankind is outta here after tonight." "You know who else is goin' down? Big Show. I think for the new millennium, we need a new World Wrestling Federation champion - Triple H." "You know, andspeaking of uh, millennium stuff, it's probably time for that whole *ahem* Kurt Angle undefeated streak thing to come to an end..." Triple H muttering so as to not raise Stephanie's ire. We learn that tonight Triple H booked Angle in a handicap match - and then confirms that Stephanie's told Blackman not to interfere on Angle's behalf. There's a knock at the door - suddenly, Kane and Tori storm the office. "IIIIII waaaaaaant Test.....make the match!" Tori wants Kane's opponent switched tonight - Triple H says okay. "Those two - they deserve each other."

KURT ANGLE v. HEAD BANGERS in a handicap match - "Hold up a second - I'm sure you're well aware of who I am - and what my accomplishments are - and I'm sure you're well aware of my three I's - intensity, integrity and intelligence. And just like so many other cities in this great nation, Greensboro, North Carlolina doesn't have the most intelligent people in the world - hold up - and nor will they ever. But just like that old song goes - two out of three ain't bad. So if you stick with the intensity - and the integrity - you'll do just fine. You will! You will." The Bangers have put on women's clothing and no doubt hang around in bars. (They are lumberjacks and they're okay.) Thrasher starts with Angle as Ross explains to us that they only wear this stuff to intimidate their opponents and 'cause they like to have fun. Angle quickly takes Thrasher to the mat, floatover into a front chancery, arm wringer, headlock, backed into Mosh, tag, off the ropes, surprise clothesline. Mosh scoops - and slams. Thrasher meets Mosh on the top rope and then front slams him onto Angle as STEVE BLACKMAN comes out - kendo stick in hand. WHACK to Mosh! Thrasher over with an elbow, punching away - meanwhile, in the ring Angle has Mosh in a half nelson cradle - one, two three. (1:00) Thrasher leaves Blackman and gets in the ring as Mosh puts the boots to Angle - stage dive comoing up. Stomping away on Angle - but Blackman's back in, swinging that kendo stick as only he can. "I'll show you a head banging!" Angle's come to - now he looks puzzled...

Backstage, Triple H gives the "curses" pantomime, then once again asks Stephanie if she told Blackman to stop interfering on Angle's behalf - "Well, I DID tell him - he musta forgot - I mean, the guy is not a rocket scientist. You know what, I guess that means Kurt Angle is still undefeated! Well, he IS a pretty great wrestler...just like you!" "Hah! I'd *kill* him." Hey, I think I'd like to see *that* match...

MICHAEL KING COLE interviews Mankind - he thinks this match is the stupidest thing he's ever heard of...and it'd be a real shame for the Rock to leave the WWF with his best days ahead of him, while his are winding up. But tonight he'll do whatever it takes to win the match - and he apologises in advance if he does some things tonight that he might not be proud of later...

AL SNOW (with Head & Orange Treatment) is out. "Cut the music off NOW - shut it off - I'm not out here for you people and your entertainment - not tonight. I have been in this business for 17 years! In those 17 years, I've made a lot of sacrifices - I've given up watching my children grow up, I've spent 200 lonely days away from my beautiful wife - and NOW I'm losing my best friend! And for WHO do I do all of this? For YOU - a bunch of ungrateful, disrespectful people, who tomorrow are not even going to acknowledge that you were here to watch MY performance?! I want all of you people here in Greensboro in the arena, and I want each and every one of you people at home to know that some TV writer backstage didn't tell me to come out here and say this - I want you to know this comes straight from my heart. *I* *HATE* *EACH* *AND EVERY* *ONE OF YOU*. This is where I draw the line! I will NOT make another single sacri--" The Y2J countdown halts Snow. "Welcome to RAW is Jericho! And I was just listening to your list of problems and grievances that you have with all my Jerichoholics, and I have a solution - and that solution is to SHUT THE HELL UP. But finally, Al Snow, tomorrow people WILL be acknowledging you - they WILL be talking about the greatest moment of '99 - they'll be talking about the night that Al Snow was brutally beaten by the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah."

CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO v. AL SNOW for the Intercontinental Championship - Snow attacks as Jericho goes between the ropes to enter the ring - punches are exchanged, face rake by Snow, right, right, Snow takes him off the ropes, duck, head down, Sunset flip, 2 for Jericho- counter, 2, counter, 2, counter, 2, counter, 1, both men up. Open-handed slap from Snow, Jericho with several in return. Into the ropes, Snow up and over, running the apron, but Jericho springs out of the corner to dropkick him to the floor. Jericho out, Snow back in, Snow catches him coming back in - several kicks - whip, Jericho holds on, kick, but Snow reverses a rana attempt into a powerbomb. Snowplow!! But THAT SLUT CHYNA is out and whacking Snow with Head. "Chyna just gave Al Snow Head!" Referee "Blind" Mike Chioda somehow catches this and calls for the bell (DQ 1:15) - Chyna, now joined by ERNEST MILLER, smirks and walks away - Jericho comes to, and once again presents the picture of confusion as Snow's music plays.

Rock paces around - will he be fired tonight? Har har, like I'm SO sure

TitanTron Live ad #2 - play time's over! Or so he say

Mark Henry needs a favour from Harvey Wippleman - he needs a date for Moolah. Wippleman (who, if you recall, used to sing LOVE SONGS to Bertha Faye) says "hell, no" but Moolah puts him in a devastating Greco-Roman ear pinch and he acquiesces.

MANKIND (with RAW credits & TV-14-DLV ratings box) v. LA ROCA in a "pink slip on a pole" match - So how's it work, the winner gives the pink slip to the loser? Ross says the man who gets the pink slip keeps his job - well, that just defies logic! Maybe there'll be a surprise twist at the end - lockup, shoulderblock from Mankind - quickly tries to climb the pole (smart!) but Rock pulls him down. Lockup, side headlock from the Rock, mankind power out and knocks him down - now ROCK tries to climb, but Mankind pulls him back. Punching from Rock

Here's an exterior of the Colesium - Ross says over sixteen thousand are in attendance tonight

Mankind makes his goodbyes to the Hardys, Edge & Christian, and the Godfather. "You guys are the future of this company... Give 'em a little bit of Mick Foley once in a while, willya?"

BALD VENIS & ERNEST MILLER v. VISSSSSSSSSCERA & JACQUELINE v. PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN & IVORY (with her STUPID scarf) v. GANGREL & LUNA TUNES (with a burning ring o' far) in an intergender four corners tag team match - sounds like a logistical nightmare to me... Now I don't want to alarm anybody, but in the graphic for this match during the "Walker: Tejas Ranger" promo, it was the Big Bossman and not Prince Albert teaming with Ivory. We shall all ponder the meaning of this now...okay, that was fun.

In the restaurant, Mark Henry recites Mae Young a poem. Then Wippleman is forced to come up with one for Moolah. He offers "Roses are red / violets are blue / my breath stinks / and yours does too." You know what this bit REALLY needs? A LAUGH TRACK! Let's just GLOW it up, come on people! Work with me here!

"Eve of Destruction" ad #2 - only #2? That can't be right, I must have missed one or two....

The camera follows Mankind out to the production truck - he thanks the guys in the truck for all the magic.

WWF: The Music (Volume 4), Snickers, and "Tomb Raider: the Last Revelation" proudly sponsor RAW is WAR!

X-PAC v. JEFF HARDY (with Matt Hardy & Terri) - Matt is appropriately grisly-looking from last week's botched Tomokaze from Christian - tho' a little retro-scripting seems to implicate DX in the injury (huh?) - Tie up, right from X-pac, side headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Back and forth we go, leapfrog, dueling hiptoss, flippy, floppy, dropkick from Hardy. Right, off the ropes, reversed, Hardy slides out - X-pac out as Hardy comes in - dropkick through the ropes on X-Pac! NOW THE SHIRT'S off! X-Pac rolled back in the ring - springboard corkscrew moonsault - finds nothing. 1-800-COLLECT provides the Double Feature as X-Pac tries a rear chinlock. Off the ropes, high elevation and Hardy's dropped to the mat for 2. Lightning legdrop for 2. Head to the buckle. Knife-edge chop, another, one more gunshot chop. Hardy slumps to the canvas. Vertical suplex. X-Pac ready to go up top - forward somersault misses. Trading punches, now Hardy punching, into the corner, X-Pac dumps him up and over, Hardy hairpull takedown, springboard split-legged moonsault! But only 2. Into the corner again, Hardy up and over - no, caught on the shoulders, but Hardy hits a head scissors to take X-Pac outside the ring. Hardy ready to run the barricade but X-Pac has that scouted and buries a punch in the gut. X-Pac going for Terri, who gets in the ring - X-Pac chopping his crotch, Hardy from behind - whip into the corner - Terri on all fours for an assisted spin kick! Terri selling the lower back! X-Pac catches the boot - Hardy with an enziguiri! Hardy on top - senton bomb! 1, 2, NO?!?!! X-Pac whips Hardy into the ropes, up and over...nope, X-Pac's trick knee acts up - and there's the X Factor. 1, 2, 3. BLEAH. (4:05)

Back at the double date, Henry's asked for an autograph - Wippleman helpfully offers "M-A..." before being cut off. The good ol' boy, having received his autograph, goes for the encore with "How come you're such a loser, bro? You lost in the Olympics, you lose in wrestling..." This raises the ire of Young and Moolah, who strike.

Kane and Tori - ARE - WALKING!! What's with Tori's navel?

TitanTron Live ad #3 - was this where we used to have those Surge ads?

Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight, where Test set Tori off with an arm around the shoulder - then Tori told Kane that Test violated her. Then Kane said "Yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Then I laughed. Then I felt bad about laughing. But not much. Kane probably IS just dumb enough to think that in that short span of time Test could have violated her.

1-800-COLLECT presents the 2000 Rumble Royale 23 January from the granddaddy of them all - Madison Square Garden!

THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE (with Tori) v. TEST - Test comes to the ring all smiles and attempting to explain what happened - and fails. "Whoa, big man, just a sec. I didn't touch your woman - I don't want your woman - I got enough woman problems on my own, I don't need any more. Kane, what you need to do is give her some Prozac or Midol or something to chill her oot, 'cause I didn't touch her at all. But Kane, you wanna fight me over nothin'? I'm not gonna back down." Kane attacks - and this match pretty much proceeds thusly: Kane hits a million moves, Test takes the punishment. Tori urges Kane on like she's a psycho. Test manages a neckbreaker - but it has no effect...outside the ring we go. "You had no business touching me!" Kane takes the STEEL steps to Test's head. Back in the ring we go - now Kane shoves away referee "Blind" Jim Korderas - that'll bring us to a (DQ 2:59) but Kane isn't done. Tombstone! Tori in the ring - mounting Test - slap! And there's a kick. You know, if she were REALLY traumatized, she probably wouldn't come out in that outfit. Here's a replay of the ref shove, the tombstone, and the slap/kick. I bet we see this scenario repeat the next few shows - with different sacrificial lambs - until one of Mark Henry's former sex therapists is brought in to reveal a terrible, terrible truth...but I've probably revealed too much...

Mankind makes his goodbyes to the referees and officials

Meanwhile, back in the office, Triple H wants to know why Mankind's still in the building - Stephanie suggests calling for security...

Michael King Cole interviews the Big Show - he's squashed

NEW AGE OUTLAWS (with X-Pac) v. TOO COOL (with Rikishi Phatu) for the tag team championship - Dogg and Taylor start - Taylor ducks, dropkicks, bulldogs, and now it's time for the Centipede karate chop. Off the ropes, reveresed, right hand to stop that onslaught. Tag to Gunn, kicking away, arguing with official "Blind" Teddy Long, into the crner, waylaying him with punches and kicks. Long again give him what for. Head to Dogg's boot. Tag in to the Road Dogg, breakdancin' kick, scoop - and a slam. Second rope legdrop - no water in the pool. Tag to Grandmaster Sexay. Knocking Dogg down, knocking Gunn down, repeat. Off the ropes, clothesline of the Dogg. Now all four men in - Mr. Ass takes Scotty Too Hottie out of the ring, but Taylor pulls Gunn outside the ring - meanwhile, Christopher crotching Dogg on the top rope. The commentators see Rikishi with a superkick on Gunn - but we don't. Anyway, in the ring, Christopher hits a reverse Russian legsweep on the Road Dogg - and now off the top with the guillotine (check that, Tennesse Jam) - but Long's outside the ring trying to restore order there. X-Pac comes in and hits the X Factor on Christopher. Putting Dogg on top of Christopher, Long is back in the ring - 1, 2, 3. (2:45) Rikishi's in the ring - here's the Rikishi Drop on the Road Dogg! Mr. Ass in - many punches to Mr. Ass. X-Pac hits a spinning heel kick, but before he can try the broncobuster, Phatu is up - belly-to-belly suplex - now in position...only a last minute yank by Mr. Ass saves X-Pac from becoming a plate of squash at the hands (ass) of a Banzai Drop. But fortunately for us, NOW IS THE TIME ON SPROCKETS WHEN WE DANCE! Rikishi puts on X-Pac's beret along with the goggles...

Triple H & Stephanie (and five cops) approach Mankind and tell him several times that he's fired - and it's time to leave the building. Ross is disheartened - until he takes the last few seconds to throw out one more hype for THEBIGSHOWTRIPLEHFORTHETITLENEXT!

TitanTron Live ad #...hell, I've lost count

"Eve of Destruction" ad #4(?) - if you actually watch this on New Year's Eve, you need to think about getting a life

Mark Henry is spent - Mae Young is smoking a cigar - and then in another bed Moolah wants to know what happened to good old-fashioned American sex - emerging from under the covers, Harvey Wippleman is shaking and smiling a lot. Well, shit - now I'm sterile.

Triple H and Stephanie are WALKING!

WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW v. TREBLE H (with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & DX) for the WWF Championship - Champ enters first because disrespecting tradition is what Attitude is all about! "Show, oh there's just one thing I forgot to tell ya - this match - no DQ. And you guys, stay up here, 'cause ah, I don't want there to be any, uh, interference, you know." Knowing looks are exchanged all around - a quick buss for Stephanie and Triple H hits the ring. Lockup, to the corner, H makes him miss, repeated rights by Helmsley. Whip out - nope, Show holds on and puts him back in the corner. Meaty slap. Another one. Beals him across the ring. Big boot - Triple H with a boot. Whip is reversed and H goes outside. Show follows. Well it's a big headbutt.