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/wrestling /saturday night /11 March 2000 |
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/wrestling /saturday night /11 March 2000 |
| WCW Saturday Night by E.C. Ostermeyer | 11.3.0 |
MainBLAH |
Hello, this is the "Gleam in the Ashes" recap for 11 March 2000, and I'm your recapper, E.C. Ostermeyer. (Well, it DOES describe what this little two-hour "puppet show" has become in relation to the rest of the WCW promotion.) We are live (on tape) from an unnamed Arena, though there are indications that it's either Fargo or Bismarck, North Dakota. Back again as your on-air announce team is Scott Hudson and the ever-dapper "Living Legend" himself, Larry Zybysko. We are eight days from "Uncensored 2000" in Miami FL. and our first match is....is... Aw, shoot.... Match # 1: Harris Brothers (aka The N.W.O. "C-Team") d. Disorderly Conduct Well, that's what they are, doggone it! They don't even rate membership on the old "B-Team", and if they tried, Scott Norton would kick both their asses back to jobber-dom in the WWF. Hudson says that The Harris Brothers could very well be the ones to leave Miami with the WCW Tag-team Titles. LarryZ says that may be true, but the Harris Brothers have been walking around bragging about it, and that they should "never make claims before the chicken's egg hatches!" Hudson, nonplussed for once, demands "what the heck does THAT mean?" LZ: "You counted your chickens, lately?" SH: "I don't HAVE any chickens." LZ: "Well, the Harris Boyz have been counting WAY too many here, lately!" Out comes Mean Mike and Tough Tom of Disorderly Conduct The match begins in typical Ron/Don fashion, with an ambush of Mikey and Tommy as they arrive in the ring. Beat-downs all around, then everybody's out on the floor for some interpretive pummeling. Don is whalin' on Mean Mike, while Ron introduces Tough Tom to the steel guardrail. Hudson says that the Harris Boys feel they've been passed over in their quest for gold. (Psst, hey, Scott, It's because they STINK!) Ron and Tough Tom are back in the ring now, and Tough Tom's trying to mount some sort of offense with a boot to the gut, and a couple of chops to the throat. Typically, Ron's no-selling everything. Here's Don back in the ring, and it looks like H-Bomb time for Tough Tom. Here's Mean Mike, obviously disoriented and channeling Elvis 'cause he's "wantin' a peanu' butter 'n' 'na-ner sammitch, Priscilla". What he gets is, (surprise! surprise!) another H-Bomb from Trixie and Bubbles. Ron with the lateral press and the pin. (1:44) Afterward, Ron and Don make scary faces at Mr. Cameraman, and attempt some "Ebonics-type" finger moves that looks as lame as two of the whitest guys on the planet could make it. Don says that they're gonna be the next tag-team champs. Sadly, given the current state of the book in WCW, they just may be. DDP's "Positively Page" book promo. Get yours by calling the number on your screen. Heck, since he's positively an Inspiration, positively a Role-model, positively a Leader, positively a Trend-setter. And positively a champion who gets a "BANG!" out of life! Why wouldn't you buy his book? Huh? Why wouldn't you? Hello? Commercial Festival, ongoing "Thelma & Louise" on the Superstation. Rent the video, and watch it uncut. It's WAY better than the version the hag-ridden censors at TBS serve up. Castrol. Drive hard! Herr Direktor Dafe Thomass vantz you must chooze NOW!. Wendy's Classic Double Cheese. Or Die gemutliches fraulein Heather. Das ist ein "no-brainer", dummkopf! "Vol-verine.." uh, "Wolverine" work boots and tack. Bite my Butterfinger! Hey! HEY! Where you goin' baby...? Yamaha ATVs. Another clever "Truth 'bout Tobacco" ad. At least the "preachy-ness" of has been toned down. Whenever you see these ads, just remember, a lot of these same non-smoking zealots grew up in the good ol' "Anything Goes" '60's, where the chief catch-phrase was "If it feels good, DO IT!" Being anti-tobacco is fashionable and is their current "Cause Of The Moment!" And you wonder why a lot of today's young people have no respect for their elders? Well, folks, it's hard to respect a hypocrite. Just ask anybody who supported Bill Clinton for purely altruistic reasons. Hudson/Zybysko Puppet Show #1: Hudson looks like a district manager for Radio Shack. Larry looks like he's just back from the Nineteenth Hole. Eight days and counting to WCW "Uncensored". We get a run-down of tonight's upcoming matches. Hudson says "Hey, you hear that? Sounds like screamin' ", and LarryZ cocks an ear in response. Larry's still selling the move! What a pro! Cute segue to: Match #2: Screamin' Norman Smiley d. Scott Zappa Smiley comes out wearing a Bismarck Bobcats football jersey. LarryZ asks what the heck is a Bismarck Bobcat, and Hudson says it's about $4.95 a pound, hohoho. Scott Zappa's in full-bore heel mode, cussin' the fans on his way to the ring. The crowd's on it's feet, and is WAY over for Norman Smiley, with chants of "Nor-man! Nor-man!" There's a guy wearing Burger King crown! How esoteric a connection is THAT? Hudson is talking about Brian Knobbs having to go through the "Three Count Gauntlet" to regain the Hardcore Title. Meanwhile, Smiley's got control early on, hitting numerous attrition moves on Zappa. Side headlock, but Zappa powers out, and we get some back and forth catch-as-can action. Smiley with a boogie-down move, then runs in and kicks Zappa in the left hamstring. Norman sets up for the cross-ring whip, but Zappa reverses and hits a wicked looking elbow to Norman's noggin that drops him to the mat. Zappa with a blatant choke, then a whip to the ropes, and a punch in the gut that doubles Smiley over. Zappa gets a running start, spinnig bulldog neckbreaker. Whip to the ropes, but Zappa telegraphs the back body drop, and Smiley goes for the extra point using Zappa's head as the ball! Smiley's endzone celebration gets him a standing clothesline from Zappa, and back down goes Screamin' Norman. Zappa's working the crowd, then whips Smiley into the ropes, sidewalk slam, hooks the far leg, but doesn't get the pin as Norman scoots out. Back on their feet, Zappa bounces Norman's head off the turnbucke, then throttles Smiley in the corner, but referee nick Patrick s there to break it up, then asks Smiley f he can continue. Whip to the ropes by Zappa, and Smiley eats a big elbow again. Zappa in control, has Smiley in a brain-twister, then whips him into the ropes. Zappa telegraphs the back body drop AGAIN, and Norman tries for a Sunset Flip. Zappa's still on his feet, and tries a standing senton (a butt-buster, really,) but Smiley rolls out of the way, and Zappa lands hard on the canvas. Smiley and appa indulge in some cross-ring action which ends with Norman monkey-flipping Zappa across the ring. Smiley starts the "Wiggle", but Zappa's charge stops it, as Smiley hits the scoop slam. And NOW he starts back up. *Smiley's doin' the wiggle, but has to stop again, because Zappa's getting to his feet. Yup, Smiley fooled around too long; Zappa's recovered, and is mounting an offense. There's a whip to the corner, and Smiley eats boot-leather coming out, then has a helping of running clothesline served up by Scott Zappa. Zappa accepts the plaudits of the fans, (well, boos, mostly.) then pulls Smiley to his ffeet, and sets him for a whip across the ring. Screamin' Norman's got other ideas, and reverses Zappa into the "Norman Conquest" submission hold, and Zappa taps out. (4:06) Scott hudson says that there's a "situation" developing backstage, so that's where we go. Backstage. "Bad" Barry Horowitz is doing his "stoutness" exercises (Silly Old Bear!), when Alan Funk comes by and asks Barry when if EVER, Horowitz will actually put one in the win column.? "Ha! That's funny. I'm gonna win one tonight. Kid." His "Badness" leaves. Alan Funk looks pensive, not to say out-of-it. Commercials Hilarious Snickers ad. Coolness! They got a look-a-like for Wendy's CEO Dave Thomas. "Dave" is St. Peter, and he's goin' over the books. Dave:"Says here you ran over that squirrel when you were sixteen." Sinner: "You saw that?" Dave: "Naw, I was guessing. Hmmm, never put the toilet seat down..." Sinner: "Wha..?" Dave: "Does your bachelor party ring a bell?" Sinner: (winces) Dave: "I'm not even gonna LOOK at puberty..." Somebody farther back: "HEY! Does this line EVER move?!" ZOOP! The clouds open up, and Mr. Impatience drops through. Dave: "Movin' now, idn't it?" Sinner looks worried. Dave: "Next!" Grandma??!! Dave: "Hmmph! You're a winner!" Great TV! "Final Destination" promo. Oooooo boogabooga! Scary! So what's it like inside that mouth of yours? On second thought, I don't want to know! TNT's promo for the 6th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards. Randy Savage is resting comfortably at Happy Acres. WCW Powerslam Action Figures. ToasterBreaks Pizza. Plus White. Ice Sport from Aqua Velva. Jay Sauder's got computer workstation furniture. "Uncensored" PPV promo featuring Sid and Jeff Jarrett. We're back, but (Ack!) Three Count's in the ring doing their lame interpretation of N Synch. Hudson wonders how three wrestlers can hold the WCW Hardcore Title simultaneously, and LarryZ says that, with Hardcore, anything's possible. This sets up Match #3: Three Count d. El Dandy, Silver King and Jeremy Lopez (WCW Hardcore Title defense.) Hooray, El Dandy is back, and he's teamed with Silver King! What's Lopez doing with the luchadores? The bookers figure that, because he's got a Hispanic surname, he wears a mask and can get all tecnico/rudo on your ass? Sheesh! Anyhoo, everybody in the ring should be able to pick up some pointers on move-selling at speed from the two veterans. El Dandy looks like a pitbull on steroids. Hudson notices that there's no plunder in the ring, and is VERY indignant about it. (Hey, you maybe think we got us a possible Lucha Libre Hardcore match in the making? Hah?) All six men are in the ring to start with, and referee Charles Robinson calls for the bell. Evan Karagias tries to impress El Dandy with his dancin' moves. El Dandy slaps the taste out of Evan's mouth. Then El Dandy wallops Shane Helms and Shannon Moore. El Dandy the goes back and clobbers Evan Karagias some more. A whip ttothe ropes, but Evan reverses, hits a face plant, then tags in Shane Helms. El Dandy hits a drop toehold that smashes Helm's nose into the canvas, quickly tags in Jeremy Lopez. Lopez is apparently the "punishment absorber" for his team in this match, as Shane Helms just works him over real good, hitting a gut-wrench salto. Elbow drop misses, and Lopez nails Helms with a snap clothesline, but a whip to the rope gets countered by a Shane Helms' neckbreaker, and lateral press, but no pin as Silver King breaks it up. Lopez with a tag to Silver King, who promptly eats a Helms' enziguiri kick. Helms tags in moore, who misses big time with the double flying dropkick. Silver king with a chop, then a whip to the ropes, and boosts Shannon Moore onto his own shoulders, then (sloppily) hits a powerbomb. And double leg roll-ups for only 2. Moore reverses and gets two as well, before Silver King kicks out. Silver King tags Lopez, and Moore tags Helms. Helms with a boot to Lopez's gut, then a snap mare, a punch to the forehead, then tags in Evan Karagias. Hudson's still going on about there being no weapons in the ring. Zybysko says it's the cleanest "Hardcore match" he's ever seen. Karagias and Helms with the double-team clothesline on Lopez. Karagias with a big powerslam that rocks Lopez. Karagias doesn't cover, preferring to dance, then tags Shannon Moore. Moore with a slam, does HIS little dance/karate kata, then lands a standing guillotine leg drop on Lopez, cover, but only gets 2. Moore tags helms, who goes up top and hits a diving float-over into a Sunset Flip. 2count, as Silver King's back in to break it up. Whoops, the Jung Dragons are out checking on their competition, and returning the compliment Three Count paid them on last week's "WCW Saturday Night." (Jaime San is particularly animated in pointing out a couple of Helms' moves to Kaz Hayashi. Yun Yang looks like he could go three rounds against a chainsaw, and come out a winner.) El Dandy's in against Helms, and Shane's nose meets the mat once again as El Dandy hits the drop toehold again, and tags in Silver King. They must have something special planned for Shane Helms. Boy, do they, as El Dandy and Silver King hit a simultaneous front kick to Helms' noggin from two direction at once. Jeez, that looked stiff as hell. El Dandy with the inverted surfboard submission hold, softening up Helms. A snap mare and a tag to Silver King, who hits a slingshot senton from the ring apron on Helms while El Dandy's holding Helms in place by his neck! Silver King with the hotshot drop onto the top rope, and tags El Dandy, who delivers another kick to Helms' left hamstring. ElDandy with a Big Right hand, and then a charge-in, but Helms ducks, then flips El Dandy out of the ring. Helms after Silver King on the ring apron, then drags him into the ring, and throws HIM through the ropes. What's this? Shannon Moore's in. Whoops! Helms reverse-whips Moore against the far ropes, and Moore does a maximum air running plancha over the top rope and takes out both Silver King AND El Dandy! Zybysko says Moore picked up the seven-ten split! Meanwhile, back in the ring, Jeremy Lopez is fighting for his life against Helms and Evan Karagias. Lopez with punches in bunches on Karagias, then a whip across the ring, but Evan reverses it. Lopez boots Karagias as he charges in, but Lopez's own charge is countered with big powerslam by Evan Karagias. Evan drags Lopez to the center of the ring, and Shane Helms hits a HUGE frog splash for the win. (5:12) Great match! Who needs the "plunder" anyway? Sign in the crowd: "3-Count#1 Fan". Coming up: Terry Funk introduces Dustin Rhodes to his long-lost kin. WCW House show schedule: 13/3 Providence RI (Nitro), 14/3 Fairfax VA (Thunder), 15/3 Salem VA, 19/3 Miami FL (Uncensored PPV), 20/3 Gainesville FL. I understand that WCW is still way short of filling the O'Connell Center at U-FLA, even with the comps, and a buy-one, get-one program. Sheesh! Commercials Same old same old. Ponch and Jon, segment #2: Footage of the on-going Funk-Rhodes feud. How Terry Funk is now the "Whole Cluckin' Show!", and "The Master of Fowl Play!" (Ooog!) Match #4: Alan Funk d. Barry Horowitz Can "Bad Barry" maintain his perfect all-loss record? Let's find out! Barry's got a Star of David on his togs this week! He's also jawin' at Mr. Cameraman like it's his fault he's got a record that not even Frankie Lancaster can touch. Funk comes out and motions that Horowitz has nothing to worry about; his record will still be intact, if a bit larger, after the match. Horowitz gets a face full of Funk breath, (it's funky! Sorry, couldn't resist!), and shove Alan Funk into the corner. Headlock ties up funk, but Funk escapes, and starts kicking Horowitz in the back. Horowitz powers back as a Gfunk run-in gets a boot. Jawbreaker! Horowitz with a cover, but no pin. Barry's working the crowd, but you can almost hear the crickets it's so quiet out there at ringside. Choke on Funk, then adds some leverage from outside the ring. Funk escapes, then hits a neckbreaker to slow down Barry. Funk back in the ring now, and swinging wildly at Horowitz, who footsweeps Funk, goes for the cover, but only gets one. Second pin attempt gets a 2 count, but Funk kicks out again. Barry with an arm-bar, and he's really cinching it down on Alan Funk, looking for the submission. Funk makes the ropes, and Horowitz has to turn loose. Horowitz with a jab in the eye on Funk. Funk's starting to build offense, but Horowitz is there to counter it. A roll-up pin by Barry looks to be a winner, but Funk keeps right on rolling, and grabs Horowitz's trunks for insurance. 1,2,3 (5:46) and Horowitz is still winless. Commercials. Again. "Beyond The Mat" promo. 'Nuff said. We're back, and it's a retrospective on the life and times of Jeff Jarrett. In full color and surround sound, no less. Oh well.... Match #5: Hacksaw Jim Duggan d. Frankie Lancaster (WCW World Television Title defense.) Duggan's having a lot of fun defending the TV title. Lancaster, "jobber to the mid-carders" is his opponent this week. Duggan wastes no time, going right after lancaster with the two-by-four. Lancaster wisely bails out of the ring. Lancaster back in, after referee Nick Patrick takes the board away from Duggan. Hacksaw with that stomp around the ring he does, building up a head of steam to clobber Lancaster, who wisely duck through the ropes to shut off that offensive series. Lancaster with a boot to Duggan's gut, but Hacksaw Jim grabs it, counters with a reverse Atomic drop, then a sloppy-looking running lariat. Lancaster bails out of the ring again. Duggan's having fun with the crowd. Jeez, is this the same bunch that just sat there like stones when Horowitz and Funk were dancing around? "USA! USA! USA!" Duggan's outside chasing Lancaster, and lands a BIG RIGHT HAND on Frankie's nose. There's a bounce off the steel guardrail. Duggan rolls Lancaster back in, has some words with Nick Patrick, then goes across the ring to get to Lancaster, who's out on the opposite side. Uh oh, Duggan got a leetle too cocky, as Lancaster garrotes him on the middle rope. Duggan rolls off the ropes, and Lancaster continues to blatantly choke him in front of the referee. Duggan's on the floor now, with Lancaster stomping away on his head. Duggan's back up, looking none the worse for wear, hollers "Get outta my way!" to Mr. Cameraman, and starts stomping around the ring. Re-entering the ring from the far side, Duggan starts throwing lefts and rights, but Lancaster gets an elbow in past Hacksaw's guard, and Duggan's on the mat. Big guillotine leg drop insures he stays there. A second legdrop misses as Duggan rolls away. Duggan with a left and a right, then whips Frankie across the ring, and nails a spinning body slam on Lancaster. Duggan in the three point stance, there's the running lariat, and the "Old Glory" knee drop finisher. (3:40) Commercials Aagh! Match #6: Tommy Rogers d. Todd Perry Holy cow! Tommy freakin' ROGERS of the "Fantastiks!" It's good to see he's still able to get in the ring. Where's Robert Fulton? I want Fulton NOW! Hudson and Larry are still shilling the "Uncensored" PPV, especially the Hogan/Flair match. LarryZ says Hogan is "irate." What the heck is a Yapapai strap match, anyway? LarryZ recognizes Tommy Rogers, and is reminded of an incident in Manila, where he and Rogers were in a parade, and Tommy tried showing off with a motorcycle, tried a wheelie, and crashed big time. In front of thousands of people. "Just bounced off the cement!" Todd Perry's trying for some cheap fan heat, then starts pummeling on Rogers. Rogers with a drop toe-hold, then a leg scissors. Perry breaks the hold, then rolls to the outside. Rogers outside as well, but a whip into the steel guardrail gets reversed and Rogers gets it in the back. Perry sets Rogers up against the ring post, then charges in, but Tommy leaps to one side, and perry really smacks the ring post. LarryZ: "It looked like he moved the ring about a foot with that move!" Perry's on the floor, gingerly trying to get movement back in his left shoulder. Rogers rolls Perry back into the ring. There's a whip, then a maximum vertical time suplex by Rogers on Perry. Top rope splash misses, but Rogers is able to hit his signature "TommyKnocker" finisher. Lateral press, have a seat, Mr. Perry. (3:32) "Uncensored" PPV promo. Hulk Hogan is encouraged to rage and snarl at the camera until he runs out of breath. Apparently, Mr. Flair will have his skin boiled off n the "Yapapai Indian Strap Match." Hey, Hulk, you sure it'll be skin, and not excess bronzer? Nitro Girls are to be found at www.nitrogirls.com. Go there. Take along a bookmark. Spend as much time as you want. I'll still be here when you get back. - - Commercials - - Worth the trip, hah? Teaser & the Firecat, Segment #3: We see The Wall still enjoying his push to superstar-dom against the likes of David Flair and Crowbar. Bam Bam Bigelow, is shown cussing out the Wall, then calling him out on Thunder to apologize to Flair and Crowbar. David, Devon "Crowbar Storm, and Daffney all look like they want to be someplace ELSE real fast! Mr. Wall is allergic to apologies, and everybody but Daffney gets clobbered. Time for more Commercials Match #7: Mona d. Little Jeannie Well, Ms. Madness returns, still wearing the evening gown. Off come the high heels. Off come the evening gloves. Off comes the skirt??!! Hey, Mona, you got LEGS! Little Jeannie comes out with yard-sale hat, Al Capone's suit coat, and snooty attitude. Jeannie in the ring, and loses the hat. And the coat. * Well, apparently Little Jeannie will be wrasslin' in her skivvies. Red skivvies..... 'Skyooze me fer a second.... Ahem... And we got action from the get-go. Mona in control at the start, but Jeannie counters the wristlock with an arm-bar. Mona with a snap mare, but Jeannie really lands a German suplex. Hudson says he wouldn't like to get in either Mona's or Jeannie's way when they get to fighting. LarryZ says that his ideal wife is a beautiful, sexy, deaf mute! Hudson makes a sound like a percolator in response. Jeannie's choking Mona now, which Mona sells like a pro. Jeannie with an elbow drop, and follows with a powerslam. Jeannie sets for the giant splash, but there's nobody home when she arrives, as Mona ducks to one side. Mona whips Little Jeannie into the corner. There's another Bionic Elbow and a couple of kicks for good measure. Great crowd response, just cheering their asses off! Mona whips Jeannie across the ring, then nails her with the handspring elbow. Mona applies the...Indian Deathlock? Shoot, I haven't seen THAT in a while! (2:04) Good match. Ed "Oklahoma" Ferrara must know what he's doing. Commercials Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy, Segment #4: WCW Hotline shill, kids get your parents permission and their credit card before you call. Footage of the Flair/Arn Anderson/Luger foolishness. Boy, talk about an angle/gimmick going nowhere! Match #8: Mamalukes (w/ manager Disco Inferno) d. the Armstrongs d. PG-13 (Three Way Dance) Disco's still got that stupid Village People hat "wrapped around his enormous head" (LarryZ.) Well, who's gonna start off? C'mon guys make up your minds , already. Looks like Steve Armstrong and Johnny the Bull. Wow, scoopslam and a pin attempt by Armstrong, but only a two count. Tag to Wolfie D, and Steve and Wolfie D are still working over Johnny the Bull in the corner. Knee drop from Wolfie D. What the...? Boston Crab and another knee drop by Wolfie D to the back of Johnny the Bull's neck! There's a clout for Big Bvito as well. Jeez, there's heavy traffic in the ring. Wolfie D. bails out runs around the ring and slaps that stupid hat off Disco's "enormous head!" (I can't help it, it's a great line. Thanks, LarryZ!) Disco wallops Wolfie D, turns and eats ONE WHOLE HUBCAP courtesy of JC Ice. Armstrongs and PG-13 are really working Johnny the Bull over in a four-on-one. Suplex by Wolfie D on Johnny the Bull. Big Vito's trying to get in to the fight, but the ref. keeps shoving him back out of the ring. Tag by Wolfie D on JC Ice, and PG-13 takes Johnny the Bull to the Armstrongs corner. Steve's got the Bull's neck across the top rope, JC Ice has his feet, and Scott powers an elbow into the smal of Johnny the Bull's back. Vito with a really sneaky move by trying to pin his own man, brings everybody back into the ring. JC Ice spins Steve Armstrong through the ropes, but this allows Big Vito to hit his spinning DDT on JC Ice. Johnny the Bull positions JC Ice in the center of the ring, does a standing leap from the mat to the top rope, teeters a bit, then nails JC Ice with a spinning guillotine leg drop. Psychosis himself couldn't have done a better one. Vito with the lateral press, hooks the far leg, and gets the win. (4:27) Well, here's Trixie and Bubbles again, and they appear to be out several thousand dollars of Monopoly money in their mis-guided attempt to waffle the Mamalukes. "Enjoy yer vict'ry, 'cause 'n ayte dayz, y'll looze the tag titles to us!" Or words to that effect. Big flippin' wooo! Commercials Match #9: Billy Kidman (with Torrie Wilson d. TAFKAPI (w/ TAFKA-Storm, "Paisley") WCW Cruiserweight Title Match. TAFKAPI, or "Ikey" as I like to call him, has an admonitory finger-wag for an endomorphic fan at ringside. The fan's got a finger, too, but mr. Cameraman's pretty quick with the cut-away. Kidman just goes right after Ikey with punches in bunches. There's a back body drop by Kidman, but he misses the drop kick. Ikey with a head butt on Kidman, then gets distracted by the curvaceous Paisley, and does a lackluster pin on Kidman, not surprisingly getting a two count. Ikey with a mean-looking snap suplex, and kidman rolls out of the ring. Paisley's waiting for him and almost clocks him with the Cruiserweight Title belt, but Ms. Wilson is there to stop it. (Possible catfight? Please???!) Where's "Oklahoma" when you need him? Ikey whips Kidman into the steel guardrail, then rolls him back into the ring. There's a cover, 1,2,no! Ikey with a reverse chinlock (read "rest hold") on Kidman. Billy tries to power out, but Ikey grabs hair and Kidman's on the mat again. Ikey goes up top, tries the flying double sledge, but Kidman's got his knees up, and now Ikey's hurting. Kidman's still too groggy to capitalize on this possible momentum turn, and Ikey gets another chance with a samoan drop. Cover, 1,2, not this time, Iaukea. Kidman's recovered somewhat, attempts, and surprise, nails a senton bomb on Ikey! Kidman's follow-up charge gets countered by Ikey, who flips him over the ropes via a back body drop. Kidman only goes as far as the ring apron, and rolls back over the top rope with a Sunset Flip, but doesn't pin. Paisley slides the title belt into the ring, and Ikey tries to waffle Kidman with it, but gets stopped by referee Charles Robinson. Ikey's not to be deterred, and Kidman eats gold (DQ 6:08). Afterwards Ikey gets in a shoving match with Charles Robinson, with "Lil' Naitch" winning the exchange. Ikey and Paisley exit the ring with the belt while Torrie comforts Billy Kidman. Good match, with plenty of crowd participation. Commercials Looks like I get my wish. During all that commercial blather, Paisley and Torrie got into a screaming, all-out catfight. (Hey EC, you missed the part where they had to VIDEO DISTORT TORRIE'S TITTY!!!!! Wonder why, he slyly mused... - CRZ) Kidman and Ikey were almost unsuccessful in separating the two, and it looks like we've got a mixed tag match or next week: Kidman/Torrie v. TAFKAPI/Paisley. Match #10: Jeff Jarrett (w/ Harris Brothers) d. The Demon (WCW United States Championship Title defense) I wouldn't mind recapping this, if I didn't have to listen to Jeff "It Pays to Increase Your Word Power" Jarrett holler "slapnuts" every five seconds. What the heck does that mean, anyway? Jarrett jaws at the crowd, stealing some cheap heel heat, though Mr. Cameraman shows that the crowd's back in "stoneface" mode again. Out comes The Demon, with the usual pyrotechnics. Jarrett wallops him from behind. Demon's staggered as Jarrett's all over him with punches and kicks. Demon with a boot to the gut, but the charge in meets a back body drop, and Jeff rolls the Demon right out of the ring. Into the waiting fists and boots of the Harris Brothers, who proceed to beat the cinders out of the Demon. Jarrett drops the Demon across the top of the steel guardrail, then rolls him (it?) back into the ring. Whip to the ropes, but Jarrett telegraphs the back body drop, and the Demon rolls through into a Sunset Flip. Jarrett counters with a punch-down, and escapes the hold. Jarrett drapes the Demon's neck on the middle rope, and uses the bottom rope for leverage as he chokes his opponent. Bronco buster by Jarrett, followed by a forearm across the Demon's nose. Whip to the far ropes gets reversed, but the Demon's double drop kick misses, as Jarrett hangs on to the ropes. Inside cradle by Jarrett gets countered by a small package roll-up from the Demon, but only a 2-count results. Jarrett kicks out, swings a right fist at the Demon and misses. The Demon doesn't, and lands three Big Right hands in succession. Demon with a whip to the ropes, but Jarrett slides under the Big Boot, nails a kick to the Demon's gut, and hits "The Stroke" finisher. Jarrett with a lateral press, hooks the far leg, and gets the win (3:01). After the match, Jarrett got a message for The Demon to "take back to Gene Simmons and each and every one of those KISS fans": One "El Ka-Bong" guitar shot! Oh no! There's more?! "Hey, Sid Vicious! Choke on THAT! SLAPNUTS!" We close the show with Scott Hudson reminding us that the WCW "Uncensored" PPV is only eight days away, and we are treated to vidcaps of Sting and Hogan. A passable show, with the "Hardcore" match between Three Count and El Dandy, Silver King, and Jeremy Lopez walking off with "Best Match of the Night" honors. Mona/ Little Jeannie is second, just nosing out third place Kidman/TAFKAPI. Booby Prize is (no surprises here!) the Harris Bros./ Disorderly Conduct fiasco that opened the show. It was good to see Tommy Rogers back in the ring, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan gets better every week. The bookers need to get him some REAL contenders for the TV title, though. Oh yeah, 38 minutes and 9 seconds of actual in-ring action in the two hour time slot. You do the math! See you next week. E.C. Ostermeyer [slash] wrestling Mail the Author |
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