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WWF Shotgun |
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| Guest columnist: Jeremy Poursine | |
MainBLAH |
Your announcers are Kevin Kelly and Terry Taylor. If I get this shift regularly, I'll give you background info about me....but for now, my name's Jeremy. Let's get to the action! TEST vs. LOU MARCONI (w/ Sammy Sosa hand gestures and no chance in hell of winning this match) Taylor and Kelly hype the Summerslam main event. The Rooster calls HHH "the greatest techinican". Does that mean he does some mean wiring work? Marconi tries some offense by way of chops, Test no-sells in a way that would make Goldberg proud. Test then levels Louie with a clothesline, and follows with a reverse neckbreaker. Marconi then gets Test into the corner and does that head to the gut bit, but not very well. Pair of Irish whips from Marconi (thanks, Kevin!). Test counters with not one, but two Russian legsweeps and then a nice DDT. Announcers ramble on about the end of the McMahon era. Marconi throws Test into the ropes, but telegraphes his move and Test gutwrenches him into a "pancake powerbomb" (as called by Terry) (brought to you by Log Cabin Maple Syrup). Test now doing a little taunting. Big boot by Marconi on Test! Test comes back with a pump handle powerslam. Test to the top turnbuckle...and does the Macho Man Flying Elbowdrop for the pin. (no match time because I couldn't find a stopwatch) Announcers mention Joey Abs is later in the hour...could Test be a factor in that match! Keep reading! Recap of Fully Loaded w/ stills courtesy of WWF Magazine. Then Summerslam hype..only 3 more weeks until an Out of Body Experience! I still won't order the PPV. I don't like having a lightening of wallet experience. SHOTGUN is brought to you by Castrol GTX, Fram, and Waves Music, offical music folks of WWF.com! More stills from Fully Loaded, this time from the First Blood match. Nice way to get around showing the blood by using black and white pictures....someone's thinking over there in the WWF front office! RAW recap from last Monday: Vince McMahon's last interview on RAW(?). I won't go into details here, since CRZ already did the hard work of transcribing it. I will mention it's funny to watch Vince wait in the ring for Austin's theme to fire up. THIS MONDAY ON RAW IS WAR: Shane breaks his silence on all the end of an era malarky...and there might be a match or two! Rescue of the Week showcases D'Lo Brown rescuing the European Title from Mideon's waist...thus no longer straining the belt well past it's designed waist limits. And speak of the devil..... MIDEON (w/o eye in a bottle) vs. SEAN CASEY It's odd to see jobbers on WWF TV.....take a HINT, WCW! Only problem with this is that Mideon's gonna win....Crap. Taylor makes me laugh by calling a "Great Greco-Roman eye bite" by Mideon. I'm beginning to enjoy Taylor a lot. I'd call this match, but I doubt anyone really cares...Mideon wins with a neckbreaker (that did look good, actually). Commericals. I can't believe Richard Simmons has a show. A sign of the Apocalypse, surely. Chef Boyardee brings you SUMMERSLAM! Why does this PPV have a skull theme? Because when you think skulls, you think SUMMER! Duh! RAW Recap of the beatdown of the beatdown delivered by Taker and the Big Slow to X-Pac. Kane saves him, makes a noise unlike anything you've ever heard (sounded like constipation to me). It is interesting to see Kane getting over finally. Maybe now they'll sell some of those Kane masks. One other thought I had during this...it seems like they touched up Kane's talking bit. Also included in this recap was the handicap match b/t Kane and Taker/Big Slow. My thoughts on this angle are still forming...after all, wasn't that long ago where Big Slow put 'Taker through the ring with a chokeslam. Back to the action! BIG BOSSMAN (w/ nightstick) vs. CHAZ (w/ Marianna and boxer shorts) This match is NOT for the Hardcore Championship. Taylor describes Al Snow as the "hardest core guy in the WWF." Huh? I dig Chaz's music. Terry does a Lawler impression by drooling over Marianna and I can't say I blame him. Thankfully, Taylor does NOT use the word "puppies" at all. He does use "Ricola" which I don't get...anyways....Chaz with a takedown to start. Some struggling on the mat, and then Chaz with a Fireman's carry for 1.5. Bossman with a kick to the face, and then a butt backbreaker (that's what I call it). Chaz with some punches to Bossman's gut in retaliation, but then Bossman lays another foot in Chaz's face. It's all Bossman now, with kicks and chokes on the former Headbanger. Elbow to face of Chaz, and an interesting (to me, anyways) spot where Big B rubs one foot on Chaz's head and uses the bottom rope for leverage. Then Chaz comes back with a boot of his own to BBM, and does a second rope bodydrop for two. Chaz throws BBM into the ropes, Bossman avoids and grabs Chaz for the Bossman slam. Chaz and the Hardcore Champ tussle a little after the match...and Marianna has a nice ass. More Fully Loaded still images...I fast forwarded through them. Commericals. EVEN MORE STILLS from Fully Loaded....this time from the strap match. RAW recap of the HHH interview. He's the game, you know. Commericals (what is this, Nitro?) Recap of the Ben Stiller's Big Adventure on RAW. I come out of this with two thoughts: 1. I don't think Debra's all that attractive. 2. D'Lo Brown has a wicked frogsplash. MEAT (w/ Jacqueline and w/o Terri Runnels) vs. VENOM...err, I mean JOEY ABS (w/ Rodney) Meat and Jacky have some words at the entranceway. Ryan Shamrock is still in the PMS entrance video. Terry and Kevin discuss Meat's "problem" of Terri Runnels wearing him out lately. Kelly: "Meat's win-loss record hasn't been stellar in the ring lately..." Taylor: "But he's scoring like hell out of the ring!" The Rooster rules. Hmm...the Mean Street Posse has a slightly redone entrance video, with the members, including Shane-o, highlighted in the beginning similar to the Corporate Ministry. Could this be another sign of the end of the Ministry? (FYI, both BBM and Mideon were announced as representing the Ministry.) Quick look back at Test's attack on Pete "Gas" from RAW. Good ol' lockup to start. Joey Abs (what the hell kind of name is that, anyway?) with some punches. Meat throws Joey into the corner, but Abs comes right back with a clothesline. Punches by Abs on Meat follow. Into the ropes for both man, Meat with a flying crossbody for for only one. Kicks to the gut by JA. Joey throws Meat into the rope, but then telegraphs his move and Meat throws him down by the hair. Punches to the face by Meat. Jacky's boobies are popping out big time. Announcer's go on about HHH and his opportunity, but it doesn't bother me since the ring action is kind of slow at this point. Meat throws JA into the opes and then lays a nice elbow. Meat now on the offensive now with a powerslam on Mr. Abs, but only gets 2. Then some sort of suplex (I think) by Meat, once again on for 2. Meat goes to the top rope, but Mr. Abs knockes him off-balance for the ol' crush the nuts sequence. Superplex by Joey from the top rope (!). Then Abs does a move I can't recall the name of for two. Vertical suplex by Mr. Abs, following by gloating, and then a "salto" (? That's what Kelly called it.) for yet another two count. Apparently fed up that he hasn't won yet (maybe he just needs some nookie), Mr. Abs requests that Rodney retrieve a chair. I just had the thought that if Joey Abs is in the Mean Street Posse, he's a blueblood, right? For a blueblood, he's awfully angry, no? Anyway, Rodney gets the METAL chair and then distracts the ref (who at this time is trying his damnedest NOT to see the chair being passed into the ring). Mr. Abs sets up the chair on Meat's ankle....but then..."Joey Joey Joey"....TEST appears on the ramp and he's either got a mic or a really loud voice. "Everyday, somebody's gotta pay. Pete 'Gas' couldn't pass the test...guess who's next?" Wow, first he no-sells like him, and then he takes his line....Test is becoming the love child of Goldberg and Nash! Anyway, Test's little speech is enough distraction for Meat to grabs JA and pull the Meatgrinder for the win. And that's our show, since WB10 fades the show out right after that! Adios! Jeremy Poursine freelance Mail the Author |
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