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WWF Shotgun Saturday Night |
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| Guest columnist: Marc Taylor | |
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Your hosts are Michael Cole and Michael Hayes, and Shotgun is TV14. Chaz with Marianna vs. Mr. Ass with Chyna Chaz starts with a waistlock takedown, but Monty Ass makes it to the ropes. Chaz points to his own ass for some reason. Dueling hiptoss attempts, with Chaz succeeding. Chaz hits a couple of armdrags then clotheslines him over the top rope, where Gunn flops an extra time to oversell. Back in the ring, Chaz whips Gunn into the buckle, thenruns in with an ass-first slam. There's a bit too much ass oriented stuff in this match. To the outside where Gunn drops Chaz facefirst onto the steps. Micheal Hayes tells us that on Livewire Shane McMahon made his match with Test at Summerslam into a Greenwich Streetfight. Chyna throws Chaz back in to get jackhammered by Gunn. Gunn moons Marianna and she gives him the "thumbs down" gesture. Cover, but Chaz kicks out. Chaz weakly dropkicks out of a backdrop attempt, and then succeeds in backdropping the Assman. Gunn crawls up and rests against the second rope, so Chaz does the Bossman straddle thing. Chaz tries to slam his ass into Gunn again, but he gets caught and side suplexed. Fame-Asser, 1, 2, 3. 4:50 Summerslam hype, and recaps of stuff from Raw: Helmsley yells at Chyna, goading her into the match, the finish of that match with Foley returning to be his godlike self and discuss the "vague sexual tension" between he and Chyna, and the subsequent matches that led to there being a new Triple Threat match for Summerslam between HHH, Mankind, and Austin. Rescue of The Week: D-lo Brown rescuing Debra from Jeff Jarret's verbal tirade. D-lo Brown vs. Prince Albert Hayes tells us that D-lo bobs his head a lot because "boy got a big ol' wide ass head that can't stay balanced". Albert punches away in the corner while Michael Cole calls him a "300 pound moose". Into the opposite corner and D-lo hops up and hits a crossbody for two. They reverse a few things off the ropes and D-lo connects with a flying forearm for two. Albert reverses a whip to the buckle and blows a moonsault spot. He should've moved out of the way, but didn't get far enough, causing D-lo to hit his chin on Albert's back. Albert hits a nice double-arm suplex for two. D-lo chant starts up. Albert tries a mocking version of D-lo's legdrop, but misses. Off the ropes, D-lo hits a dropkick and there's the legrdrop. 10 punch countalong by D-lo with head bobbing between 9 and 10. Albert tries to attack with his piercing kit case, but D-lo kicks it into his face and hits the Lo-Down frogsplash for the 3 count. 5:39 Replays show that the Lo-Down is a sweetass move. Here's the end of the Big Show/Undertaker speech from Raw, and there's the Y2J coundown. BREAK THE WALL DOWN! Raw is Snore is over! Welcome to Raw is Jericho! Chris Jericho thoroughly kicks ass, our hero has arrived! Slam Of The Week: Shane McMahon repeatedly whacking Test with the kendo stick. Godfather with hos vs. Scotty Zappa Godfather gets mic time just to bug me. Pimp Drop gets the pin. 1:30 Ad for WWF Jakked, which is apparently another WWF show. Mideon and Viscera defeat Derrick Dukes and Tony Denucci in a 2:17 squash in which the only interesting thing is Michael Cole lying by calling Viscera a "tremendous athlete". Viscera splashes and pins the other jobber, even hooking the leg, after the match is over, for NO apparent reason. And we close with Summerslam hype. Marc "the Mark" Taylor freelance Send death threats to takakdx@aol.com |
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