Shame on you, CRZ.

Thank God my biases rendering me ineffective won't matter in a week when there's only one game in town!

Two quickies in response:

1. Going from "absence of criticism" to "lapping it up" seems like a stretch - at least, to me... In the same manner, not offering lavish praise of something shouldn't necessarily be construed as HATRED of something - something else people have mistakenly attritbuted to me as well.

2. When I think back to Monday's RAW, I remember Rhino debuting, Spike Dudley debuting, the tag team titles changing hands twice and Rock finally getting one back on Austin. Taking these as "positive" memories, it's a lot easier to let the "negative" memories slide when there's something to balance it out. The problem I've usually had with Nitro is there's been damn little to take out of the show as "positive."

By the way, I *am* biased. Just not for the reason's YOU'RE talking about...(figure that out, heh)

KINGS UPDATE: FIRST place! 46-21, 1.5 ahead of the Lakers. Perhaps it isn't as impressive that we defeated the Sixers when they're now losing to EVERYBODOY but Joe asked me to remind you of it anyway, so yeah! We went to their house and BEAT them! SO THERE!

Wow, did I fall asleep again? I'm really behind now...

UPN Thursday!

One World TV-PG Leader Attitude - WWF!

Opening Credits - Close Captioned

LIGHT THE PYRO it's go time! Coming to you from the Providence Civic Center in Providence, RI 21.3.1 (taped 19.3) and Trasmitido En Espanol on the United Paramount Network, THIS is WWF SmackDown!

WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO (with Let us Take You Back to RAW) v. CAW CAW CAW (with Heat hype - Raven hosts!) - this match, we are told, is a "reward" for Jericho's actions of Monday night which, as indicated by my email, really pissed some of you off. (I made a pun! Alert the media!) Tonight, Triple H and the Big Show take on the Fun Brothers! Gutshot by Raven, right by Jericho, right, right, Raven never gets to use his lid - tossing it but missing. Raven right, right, lid swing DOES land, whip is reversed, hiptoss by Jericho onto a trash can! Right hand, whip is reversed, Raven holds on and pulls him into a knee in the gut. On the apron, has a trash can, but Raven hits a springboard dropkick to the can - Raven lands in his shopping cart! Jericho takes him for a ride...and over the barricade we go. Double Feature of the trashcan dropkick. Raven and Jericho underneath the bleachers and through the doors (after disrupting some noisy metallic things). Jericho runs Raven across the catering table. Mop to the face! And here we go to the ... commissioner's office? Raven swings a pipe, but only manages to break Regal's bust of...whoever that was. Jericho puts Raven on the desk, removes the picture of the queen mother - "sorry, ma'am" - and breaks it over Raven's head. Raven's head run into Regal's tray of pastries - "eat some crumpets, lad!" And now Regal has returned to his office - hot coffee in the fact, vase of flowers broken on the head and Jericho's down. Raven, blinded by confectionaries, swings the tray - and clocks *Regal*. Cover of Regal - 1, 2, 3!! (2:27) Raven runs off.

TONIGHT: FACE TO FACE It's an exclusive interview - but will Austin and Rock be able to sit down? AND, will they manage to get the crowd to stop booing Rock...or will they roll with it? We'll find out later!

"Don't Try This At Home" PSA

"WWF: The Music (Volume 5)" ad

Moments Ago, four paragraphs ago

We return to the remains of Regal's office - JONATHAN COACHMAN catches up and asks if Regal is okay - he says he will be, but as for Raven, he's just been booked for WrestleMania against Kane AND the Big Show. Well NOW we know what they're gonna do with those guys!

Your hosts are MICHAEL KING COLE and TAZZZZZZZZZZ.

The graphic don't lie: at WrestleMania, it's a Street Fight: Shane McMahon vs. Mr. McMahon

Here's a Special Video Look at Shane and Vince. Golly, at this rate I'll be caught up in NO time!

The Helmsleys react to what they've just seen on the monitor. Talk turns to Undertaker and Kane - Stephanie hopes her husband and the Show rip them apart tonight, reminding us how she was held over Kane's head Monday (I guess I imagined her mouth moving since everybody thinks it was a mannequin) and THAT reminds Triple H that he's got some business to take care of...

Lita and the Hardyz eat ravioli!

TONIGHT: FACE TO FACE - for the second time in the second hype graphic, we get a clip of Austin giving Rock the Stunner

TONIGHT: Big Show & Triple H vs. Undertaker & Kane!

Triple H and Big Show have a chat out of mic range

GRAND MASTER SEXAY & MR. PARTY TIME & K-KWIK (with WWF: The Music [Volume 5] CD cover & SmackDown! is brought to you by Stacker 2, Wacko Tobacco and Chef Boyardee!) v. X-PAC & JUSTIN CREDIBLE & YAHHHHHHLBERT (with Let Us Take You Back to RAW) - Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Blackman and Credible start - or should I say Blackman starts - kick, right, chop, right, backhand, whip is reversed, Blackman rolls under, catches the kick, leg sweep takedown. Elbow misses, Credible off the ropes, Blackman with a reverse kick. Belly-to-belly. Albert gets some free shots - X-Pac decides to hop off the apron to avoid his. Credible's head to Kwik's boot, kick, tag to Kwik. Right, right, into the ropes, reversed, clothesline ducked, flying head scissors by Kwik, too bad he's busy doing the splits 'cause he just tagged out. X-Pac is in, Sexay is tagged, Sexay and Kwik are too busy dancing - 'Pac, hands on hips, waits it out, gutshot, side headlock on Sexay, powered out into the ropes, shoulderblock (hey! Like they do on WOW!) Up and over, dueling hiptosses, gutshot by 'Pac, flippy flippy, Sexay's gutshot caught, but not the enzuigiri - head run into Credible's, free shot for Albert. 'Pac's corner is empty but he waits for Albert. Big headbutt for Albert. Whip into the corner, yaaaaaahvalance misses! Sexay on the second rope - X-Pac runs the apron, Sexay kicks him away - Albert with a bicycle kick to take Sexay off the corner to the floor! Kwik and Blackman in, but all they do is distract referee "Blind" Teddy Long long enough to allow Credible and X-Pac to make a wish with Sexay and the ringpost. Sexay put back in - Albert picks him up and drops him in an atomic drop using the mat instead of his knee. Tag to Credible, a few rights, tag to Pac, into the ropes, duck, Sexay with a double clothesline! Tag to Kwik! Blck, right for 'Pac, same for Credible, free shot for Albert, Credible into the ropes, Cole says "charismatic," flying jalapeno with a spin! Albert in and presses Kwik - Blackman in, legsweep brings the pile crashing down. Double clothesline puts Albert on the floor, but he pulls Blackman out after him. Meanwhile, it's a gutshot X Factor on Kwik and 'Pac puts Credible on top - Sexay's got the goggles, though - hip hop drop on Credible! Here's the cover! 1, 'Pac breaks it up. Right, right, Sexay right, right, right, 'Pac dumps the clotheslinen attempt and puts him on the floor. Kwik put in the corner, up and over, superfluous backflip, splits out of the clothesline from X-Pac - but eats the double superkick from X-Pac AND Credible. Hey, guess who gets the pin - his name starts with "X." (4:13)

The Undertaker is WALKING! Whoa, Triple H from behind with the Pearl Harbour! "Dead Man...good to see ya!" How'd H know where he was gonna be walking? Wow! Taker, realising this is a TV-PG show, does a lot of half-swearing. "Oh, sh..... son of a....." and so on.

The stupid way to burn fat is to insult Kane's karaoke performance. The *smart* way is to use Stacker 2!

Another stupid way to burn fat is to make light of Kane's mental incompetence. Why, theseStacker 2 ads are FUNNY! (the first time I see them)

Saturday is FAN APPRECIATION DAY! That's right, they'll appreciate EVERY fan that actually bothers to show up to watch the Demons take on the Maniax!

Moments Ago, Triple H ran the Taker into a fusebox.

Coming back, Taker's caught up to Triple H - H backs up to wherever I'm sure Big Show is...no, wait, it's a cadre of policemen ready to enforce the TRO against Stephanie since he's moved closer than twenty-five feet. "Hey hey hey - I know what my rights are, and I waive all of them. Come on. You know, I bet if that was a donut you could get it on there. I want you all to enjoy this - you are? I violated the law, I'm gonna violate more than that. Hey, Steph why don't you tell me something? Why don't you tell me what it's like to be married to a man who doesn't have a set?" Taker promises that the plate of bacon won't be there to protet him at WrestleMania. Stephanie says she's not sure she wants to press the charges - they ask them to sit him down while they make up their minds...

TONIGHT: FACE TO FACE - we get to the clip of the Rock Bottom on Austin for *this* graphic

Coachman asks Regal what will happen to the main event if Undertaker is unable to compete. Regal says it'll have to be a handicap match.

Meanwhile, JR asks Austin if he's able to chill out during the sitdown. Austin says he'll be fine, but what about the champ?

WWF Axxess ad

The unsponsored Countdown to WrestleMania is on! It's only TEN days away!

Rock catches up to JR and asks what the environment is gonna be - Ross says we're just gonna talk about WrestleMania. Rock: "Talk.....maybe."

Our hosts react.

"The Road to WrestleMania" weekly video - this show may be a recapper's dream, but so far it's been pretty light on content...

Certainly notwithstanding the recent physicality involving both you two gentlemen, I want to thank you for taking time out of your schedule to be here and thank you in advance for your professionalism during this interview. We're here to talk about WrestleMania. We're here to talk about the Rock defending the WWF title against Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Reliant Astrodome on Sunday, April the first, but before we do, Rock, you have a heck of a tall order ahead of you because you're in a handicap match against two men, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, as ordered by Commissioner Regal. Now Steve, I don't know how much stroke I have with the commissioner these days, but would you be willing to step up and be the Rock's tag team partner tonight--

Rock: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jim. You don't have to ask Stone Cold that; you should ask me that. I don't need a partner, I don't want a partner. And at this point in time, he'd be the last guy I'd ever want as a tag team partner.

Austin: You gonna answer all my questions? Did you ask me the question?

Yes, I did.

You gonna answer all my questions?

Well, perhaps I should have asked the Rock the question, so obviously it wasn't a good question, and that's my responsibility. Uh... WrestleMania, April first - without a doubt, this is the most eagerly anticipated main event in WrestleMania history. This certainly could be the biggest WrestleMania in World Wrestling Federation as well. What does, Rock, the WWF Championship, as a professional, what does it mean to you - being the WWF Champion, what does that title mean to you?

Well, being the WWF Champion solidifies the fact that you are at the mountaintop, solidifies the fact that you've grabbed that brass ring. It's something I've worked very hard for my entire life, because I grew up in this industry - that's the reason I'm here in the WWF - so being the WWF Champion solidifes the fact that I'm the absolute best.

Steve, on SmackDown! last week you spoke of this hellacious journey personally for you back. Have you changed your thoughts about what this match means in the last seven days since we've talked about it?

No, I haven't changed a damn thing about what I thought. It means Stone Cold Steve Austin is back; we can stop talking about it - the journey's over. It's Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. the Rock for the World Wrestling Federation title - that's what it is.

It certainly seems to me, and certainly not degrading the WWF title, because that's it - anybody that passes through the doors of the WWF, as you have said, Steve, should be here for one thing and one thing only and that's to become the WWF Champion - but, it seems to me that thanks to Mr. McMahon assigning Stone Cold's wife Debra as the Rock's manager, that that has heightened, to me, the personal animosity, the peresonal issue between the two of you.

Well, it's heightened a lot of things - it's heightened the animosity, professional as well as personal. The fact of the matter is this: is I never asked for Debra to be my manager, never wanted Debra to be my manager, and I'll go on the record as saying I have no problem personally - or professionally for that matter, but the fact of the matter is she's not my responsibility. She's not my wife - she's your wife

Austin: Let me go on record as sayin' that I don't like the fact that my wife is your manager, because there's a conflict of interest there. Ah, if she's supposed to be your manager and I'm wrestling you for the World Wrestling Federation championship at WrestleMania, that's a problem. That's a big problem. But I, I expect that my wife should have a career, and - and - all - more power to her. I'm gettin' a little worked up here, and I'll just try to settle down, and I'll tell you right now I don't like the tone of your voice when you mention my name, or my wife. You might wanna take a little bass out of your voice.

Well, I might not.

Let me go and cut you off here, let's just go ahead and take Debra out of this equation - bam, she's a nonfactor. The fact is, Rock, you've got the WWF title and I want it. Can we change the scenario? No. So don't even worry about that. Just don't even go there. You've got what I want - enough said about that.

What are you - people are wondering, this animosity - do you hate each other? Personally, what do you think of this man? He is the champion. Personally, as a human being?

Personally, what do I think about the Rock?

Right.

He's probably a wonderful human being and a credit to the human race in a lot of people's views. In my opinion, I could care less about the Rock. Personally.

Your thoughts on Stone Cold as a human being, Rock? I know you're...

You know, it's - it's - it's - it's no mystery. There's no mystery how I feel about Stone Cold, there's no mystery about how Stone Cold feels about the Rock. We've gone good to bad, bad to good, we've done it all across the whole spectrum, but the fact of the matter is this, professionally, I've EARNED his respect, professionally, he's earned mine but when we get in that ring together, he brings out the best in the Rock. The Rock brings out the best in Stone Cold, no question. Personally? (pause) Personally, I don't like him.

I don't think we need to let this...de - degenerate--

Austin: I'm tryin' to be a pro over here, right?

I, I hope--

That ain't gonna be lastin' much longer (beep) if you keep sassin' me.

Well, let's, let's focus back on WrestleMania--

How come you never asked what the belt meant to me?

All right, good question.

You said, what's it like to be back at WrestleMania, ask me what the belt meant to me

What does that - okay, what does the WWF--

I'll paraphrase everything he said, it means I'm the number one (beep) in the industry, bottom line. That's my opinion what the belt means to me, I just thought you should ask me the question, too. You're little one sided here if you ask me.

All right, well I'll ask you another question if you don't mind. And that questoin is, as the challenger, uh the onus is gonna be on you in the Astrodome at WrestleMania because we're looking at one fall, sixty minute time limit, he's the WWF Champion, he doesn't have to beat you but you damn sure gotta beat him. Strategically, does that change game plans, mind set, or is it still full speed ahead?

It's full speed ahead because when I get in the with the Rock in the Astrodome, 65,000 screaming fans, watching every single move that happens in that ring - yeah, I gotta beat that man. I've never wrestled an hour in my life, but if that's what it takes, that's exactly what I'll do. My strategy is to go in there and do whatever it takes to beat the Rock - 1, 2, 3 - and become World Wrestling Federation champion.

Rock, without revealing your hand, and your strategy - your mindset as far as your approach to this, as...competitor to competitor.

Revealing my hand and my strategy? The fact of the matter is this: is that you brought up a very good point, Jim Ross, is that - is that the Rock doesn't have to beat Stone Cold, Stone Cold has to beat the Rock, but as far as I'm concerned, the belt is dangling, and we're both goin' for it. So I got one reason, and one reason only to go inside that ring, and that is to beat Stone Cold Steve Austin. It's just that simple. What, I'm just gonna go in there and back off, just because I'm the champion?

Austin: I'm glad you said that, because I don't want you to be on defense the whole match. I appreciate the fact that you wanna beat Stone Cold as much as I NEED to beat you. 'cause I don't want you on defense all night long. I appreciate the fact that you wanna whip my (beep) - it ain't gonna happen, but I appreciate your mentality.

Rock: Oh, well I'm glad you appreciate my mentality - I'm glad you appreciate the fact that I wanna whip your (beep) so much. We'll see how much you appreciate it on April 1st, see how much you appreciate it then.

Austin: You know what, you got that little T-shirt that says "just bring it" on the front of it. Well, that night when you're looking up at the lights and that little T-shirt says "Just bring it?" You will know that Stone Cold just brought of it.

Rock: Yeah? Well you've got your little T-shirt, too - Austin 3:16. "Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your (beep)." Right? Well I say just bring it, you say I just whipped your (beep). So on April 1st why don't you try just come try and kick the Rock's (beep).

Obviously, the emotion, and I understand the emotion because of what's at stake - what's at stake is the WWF title at Wrestlemania, but in closing this interview, and again I appreciate your professionalism, I know it's not easy, any closing remarks Rock, as the champion, to the challenger?

Yeah, we - we can talk about one fall, two falls, sixty minutes, sixty days, talk about Debra being my manager, whose responsibility it is, it's his wife, it's this that's happening - it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is April 1st, WrestleMania 17, the biggest of all time. The Rock and Austin, the biggest of all time. The fact of the matter is this: is I will give you every drop of sweat, every drop of blood, every ounce of energy I have - win lose or draw, you are gonna get the absolute best of the Rock at WrestleMania, and there's a reason why they call me the Rock, there's a reason why the most electrifying man the world has ever seen and all that - and there's a reason why they call me the best. Come April 1, two unstoppable forces will meet...and all questions will be answered.

Steve, your final thoughts about this match?

Without getting overly sentimental, I'll go on record as sayin' every single time I've been in the ring with the Rock, he has brought out the absolute best in Stone Cold Steve Austin. So when I roll in to the Astrodome and WrestleMania on April first? Do I wanna beat you on a personal level? Oh hell yeah, I do. But on professional level, which bleeds over into my personal existence, I need it, Rock - I need it more than anything you could ever imagine. So that's the mentality I roll into the Astrodome with, the fact that Stone Cold Steve Austin is back, and that I must beat the Rock to be the World Wrestling Federation champion once again. And there is no other way. There can be only one. There can be only one World Wrestling Federation champion. And that will be, Rock, when it's all said and done...Stone Cold Steve Austin. With all due respect.

Gentlemen, thank you very much for your time, and...best of luck to both of you at WrestleMania.

WWF New York is rated TV-PG-DLV!

Last Friday, Aerosmith was at WWF New York! Why? Who knows?

WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW (already in the ring) and THE NEW MAN (with Stephanie Can't Act & Undertaker is still cuffed, so he'll only be watching & "WWF: The Music [Volume 5]" CD cover) v. KANE in a handicap matchup - Show's entrance is sacrificed so we can get all of Triple H's. Triple H will be on the Late Show with Conan O'Brian, by the way. Show meets Kane on the ramp - right by Kane, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, Show with a knee, forearm in the back, and whip...is reversed - Show hits the post! Kane in the ring - H is blocked, right, right, right, into the ropes, big boot. Whip into the corner, double choke...Show is back in, Kane lets H go, gutshot, head to the buckle, right, right, right, Taker watching the monitor (flanked by cops) - Show reverses a whip into the corner, but the elbow only finds the buckle. Gutshot for H - press (!) - and tossed into Show. Show scooped up (!!) but H kicks the back of Kane's knee, sending Show crashing onto Kane. Doubleteam stompdown commences - referee "Blind" Mike Chioda isn't having much luck keeping it one on one. Show goes out. H reacts to Kane getting up even after all that. Back to the rights and stomping - and here's a tag. Reaction shot from the Taker - I guess he doesn't like Show much. Scoop slam on Kane - and he gets up. Forearm in the back, into the ropes, well it's a big sidewalk slam. Zombie situp! Well it's a big right, right, vertical suplex - all power. And AGAIN Kane hits the zombie situp. Right, right, right, right, Show runs at him but Kane drops and lowers the bridge. H in - right by kane, right, right, into the ropes, scooped up on the shoulder - big powerslam by Kane. Kane going out and climbing the corner - time for the flying clothesline. Motioning for the choke - he's got him! - but Show is back in - HE gets the left hand choke! H swings wildly but only manages to take out Chidoa (ohhh). H with a kick in the nuts (Cole: "gut") after Chioda's back is turned. ahhhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM. 1, 2, 3! (4:18) Wow, Triple H let Show get the pin! Taker gives the frustration from his sofa. H knees Kane in the 'nads one more time for effect. Chioda shoved down as the doubleteam starts once again. H gets a good shove on ring announcer TONY CHIMEL (almost putting him over the barricade) and grabs his chair. WHACK! Taker doesn't like *that* too much either. Looks like we're gonna see a PEDIGREE ON THE CHAIR! Taker's had enough - he overpowers all four policemen - pauses to say "damn!" and runs to the ring, still in cuffs. "Now I'll tell you what - you go in the back and tell that piece of crap brother of yours I'll see his dead (beep) at WrestleMania. As far as you go, you gotta date with the Big Show. Good luck. I'll tell you what, Kane, I'm gonna enjoy ruining your family. I'm gonna enjoy taking all of you apart. You--" TAKER is out. He kicks away another cop - and one more. "You still want some? You wanna get in the match? Come on, bring it. Come on, Dead Man!" Taker hits the ring - but he's cuffed - and no problem for Triple H *and* the Big Show. Once again H has the chair - WHACK for Kane - and an edge in Taker's abdomen. The cops have recovered and stagger to ringside. "I see you've figured out by now, these aren't cops - nah, I sent the cops home a little bit earlier. These are some friends of mine. Kane found out, too - hey guys, do me a favour - put the cuffs on him, too." Oh, well, it's okay that Taker beat 'em up 'cause they weren't REAL cops. "I tell you what - now that you've met some of my friends..." he's under the ring... "let me introduce you to one more." It's the sledgehammer! "You see, Dead Man, it's good to have friends. See I got friends, Taker, and I got 'em in all the right places. SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE HEAD! The "cops" and Show swarm Kane as Taker taps a vein to add a little colour. "You see, I warned your (beep) - I told you - and you, nah, you couldn't listen, could you Dead Man. Well I told you, I warned you, and now, I showed you. At WrestleMania, Dead Man Inc. goes belly up." On one of the closeups, Taker is pixellated - making it either too grisly - or too fake - for this show. Wow, that IS a lotta blood...

XFL on NBC hype

You're watching SmackDown! on UPN!

Local XFL on UPN spot

Here's a look at the scenic exterior of the Providence Civic Center

Moments Ago, five paragaphs ago - this time, instead of pixellation, we get the clip in black and white

Our hosts announce the Gimmick Battle Royal for WrestleMania - let's hope it isn't an April Fool's joke NOW

Dig that graphic: It'll be TLC II at WrestleMania - Edge & Christian vs. the Dudley Boyz vs. the Hardy Boyz

Let Us Take You Back to RAW is WAR...during which all THREE of theses teams held the tag team titles - oh, and there was also the matter of a few debuts...

KEVIN "NAILZ" KELLY stands with Edge & Christian, who stand in front of a backdrop of stacked boxes. Hmm, I wonder if people will be attacking them from behind....nope, I was wrong. "Christian!" "What?" "Get the rhino!"

Steve Austin plays with a forklift - hey! You shouldn't drink beer and operate heavy machinery!

Hey look! The Dudley Boyz are WALKING! Oh, look, there's Spike hiding behind Buh Buh Ray... six-man action is NEXT!

Kane sells Stacker 2 - again

And again

Time now for the WWF Overdrive of the Week - from RAW, Spike Dudley makes his debut and helps the Dudley Boyz win the tag team titles from Edge & Christian

EDGE & CHRISTIAN & RHYNO - RHYNO? WITH A Y? AYE. v. ALL THREE DUDLEY BOYZ (with Countdown to WrestleMania Party hype - Dudleyz and Helmsleyz at WWF New York Friday at 6pm!) - Edge and D-Von start - gutshot, right, right, D-Von ducks the clothesline off the ropes and hits a flying clothesline of his own. Tag, open shot by Buh Buh Ray - left, left, left, right. Into the ropes is reversed, Edge hits a spinning heel kick. Head to the buckle, tag to Christian, right, Rhyno hitting him from behind as Christian pops him. Into the ropes is reversed, big back body drop by Buh Buh Ray. Arm wringer, tag to Spike. Spike off the top with a double sledge to the arm. Arm wringer by Spike, right by Christian to breka it. Into th eropes, head down, rollup by Spike...for 2. Spike ducks the clothesline and hits another schoolboy for 2. Gutshot by Christian, put up on the shoulders - Spike peppers him, then his brothers help start a victory roll - for 2. Up on the shoulder, punching again - but Edge helps out with a hot shot. Right hand by Christian - tag to Rhyno. He's poised - there's a big clothesline. Right hand. "ECW" chant. Right hand. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Referee "Blind" Tim White tries to get it out of the corner. Whip into the opposite corner - head to the gut! Running stomp. Tag to Edge, open shot. Scoop...and hung up on the top rope. Edge slapping the back of his head. Stomp, stomp, stomp, Spike with rights - headbutt to the gut, Edge drops him again. Into the ropes - no, Edge is tying him in the ropes - crossbody to the easy target. Scoop...and a slam. Edge on the seceond rope...senton MISSES and both men are down. Crowd claps for the Dudleyz...tag to Christian - tag to D-Von! Duck, right, clothesline, shot for Edge, Christian pressed and dropped, neckbreaker for Edge, Rhyno knocked to the floor, slam for Christian, but Rhyno takes out D-Von on his second chance. Rhyno's back is turned - hairpull takedown by Buh Buh Ray. Right, right, D-Von helping with the whip - double flapjack into the second rope (OUCH)! Bodyslam - "What Are You Doing?" - testify dance - D-Von...Towen of Babel. Edge put into position for the double flapjack but Christian pulls the table away. Christian puts the table in a corner (for a gore later?) Whip into the ropes, but Christian rolls outside to avoid 3D. Edge is in with a chair - WHACK to Buh Buh Ray! White sees it and calls for the bell. (5:54) D-Von gets a big chairshot as well. Spike back - dropkick to Edge's back - Christian back in - Spike ducks a clothesline, gutshot, going for the Acid Drop...but Christian just tosses him back to the centre. Now HE has a chair - but Spike ducks the Conchairto...fortunately, he's in PERFECT position for Rhyno to come back in and spear him through the table. Here's a replay.

Backstage, Vince...prepares coffee! Steve Austin creeps up from behind..to ensure we get an interesting facial expression from Vince. Austni tells him that should anything happen to Debra, not only will he hold the Rock responsible, but he's holding Vince responsible as well. "Do I make myself clear? Thank you."

WrestleMania spot

And now, the Stacker 2 Burn of the Week! From RAW, Ivory burned a cardboard cutout of Chyna - and then Chyna burned Ivory by actually appearing and DDT'ing Ivory.

RYGHT TO CENSYR hits the ring - well, three of them do; Goodfather and Buchanan decide to take a seat next to Tazz so he won't interrupt. "Thank you, thank you very much, thank you. When Chyna signed that release last Monday, she exonerated me from any responsibility or liability when she gets hurt at WrestleMania. Righteousness should not be confused with mercy, because I will have no mercy on Chyna's neck at WrestleMania." Venis: "Here in the WWF, good is perceieved as evil, and evil is perceived as good. The truth is ALLLLLLLLLL around you, and yet, you people sleep. Well since our words will not wake you, tonight our actions most certainly will." Richards: "Ane now onto another piece of business. On this night, this glorious night, a night of redemption - redemption before WrestleMania..." Richards leaves the ring and walks to Tazz. "Tazz, tonight, you stop sticking your nose in the Right to Censor's business. Tonight, you take responsibility for your actions, and most importantly, Tazz, you will be CENSORED." Tazz grabs Richards' head and slams it into the commentary table, then climbs overand puts on the Tazzmission. Goodfather and Buchanan are all over him with punches but he won't unlock the hold - and here come the ACYLYTES to join the fight! What the henkc is Bradshaw doing wearing a WHITE belt? Maybe he DOES pound ass...naaaaah

Backstage, Kurt Angle catches up to Chris Benoit. Tonight, it's them against the Rock - and tonight, they should break him in half. It's that simple. Benoit raises his eyebrows in response after Angle leaves.

Rock is WALKING!

"WWF: The Music (Volume 5)" ad

And now, the WWF Boot of the Week, brought to you by LUGZ! From RAW, Austin hits the ring...and gets a belt shot and Rock Bottom. Oops.

Austin grabs another beer - looks like he's going to sit in front of the monitor and watch the next match...

CHRYS BYNOIT (with Austin on Byte This! hype) and KYNG KYRT YNGLE (with wrestlemania.com logo) v. YF YA SMYLLLLLLL (with Mrs. Austin) in a handicap match - Cole flies solo with Tazz suffering the ill effects of the previous segment. Hmm, it's NOT the Rock, though - that's BYLLYONAIRE VYNCE. I *thought* it was too early to have the last match of the night without something to kill a little time. Could we get a commentary appearance by McMahon? Indeed, he grabs the second headset and says he's here not because of Austin's warning, but merely to add a little colour to the event. Angle starts. Benoit tries to tap him from behind, distracting Rock enough for Angle to get in the opening licks. Whip is reversed, clothesline by Rock, clothesline, leg is hooked, 2. Right by Angle. Tag to Benoit, ten kicks. Forearm, forearm, whip is reversed, Rock clotheslines Benoit from behind. Rock with a vertical suplex (!) for 2. Vince says he's actually looking forward to facing Shane. Benoit ducks under a clothesline attempt and hits a death suplex. Tag to Angle, stomping away. Angle with a vertical suplex...for 2. Headlock...tag to Benoit, open kick to the gut. Right hand by Benoit, right, off the ropes, but Rock steps aside and dumps Benoit to the floor. Rock out after him - head to the barricade, right, right, whip is reversed...but into Angle! Rock clotheslines Benoit as well! Rock looks to Vince...then whips Benoit into HIM!! Amazingly, referee "Blind" Earl Hebner doesn't DQ him here - Vince pops up with bright eyes. Back in the ring - Benoit reverses a whip and Angle forearms him in the back. Rock pops Angle...but lands in a German suplex from Benoit - holding on for two - holding on for three! Elbowdrop by Benoit - tag to Angle. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Head to the buckle, right, right, kick, kick, kick, standing on the neck. Angle and Hebner have a discussion - Rock comes back - right, right, right, whip is reversed, Angle's elbow lands. Clotheslined out of the ring. Hebner holds Angle back, so Benoit grabs a chair - and runs it into Rock's head! "What goes around comes around, all right? The story of my life." Benoit tosses Rock back in - Angle with a stomp. Angle going up top?? Missile dropkick by Angle!! 1, 2, NO! Scoop...and a slam by Angle. Angle going up top again - maybe for the moonsault? OH YEAH - but it MISSES! Austin's still watching, by the way. Benoit quickly in with a scoop slam...swandive headbutt MISSES! All three men are down - Hebner gets to six before they stir. Benoit rolls out as Rock and Angle get up - Angle with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine!" Stomp, stomp, stomp, tag. Rock blocks, right, block, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversal, Rock holds on, belly-to-belly toss - Angle in, duck, gutshot, DDT, spinebuster for Benoit, leg is hooked, Angle breaks it up! Angle back to his corner as Rock and Benoit get up - Benoit grabs the clothesline attempt and locks in the crossface!! Benoit mauling the back of his head to make sure it STAYS on. But...Angle puts Rock's foot on the rope?! Hebner sees it and forces the break. Benoit wants to know what the hell's up - Angle tags him in the back and comes in. But Rock blocks the right - right, right, right, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT! Right for Benoit on the apron as well - poised for ROCK BOTTOM on Angle! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, 3!! (8:27) Vince praises Rock's "amazing display of athleticism" - but now Benoit is in with a flying elbowdrop. Right hand, into the ropes, reversed, spinebuster by the Rock! SHARPSHOOTER!! Angle is up...and watching? Angle is LEAVING! In fact...Angle is SMILING! Two more referees hit the ring but Rock is refusing to break the hold. Now Vince himself is in - and Rock *does* break the hold after he barks at him. Rock with words for Rock - Hebner asking him to get out - McMahon decking *Hebner* and giving HIM the point...turns back to eat ROCK BOTTOM! But now *Angle* is back in - forearm in the back - ANGLELOCK!! Debra is in - Austin is watching...no, Austin is up! Angle is cranking it in...no NO, Austin is taking his seat - he was only getting another beer! And he's REALLY SAVORING that beer! Angle still has the anklelock in...and he'll probably have it in until Monday because this show is done!