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WWF SmackDown! by The Cubs Fan




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This video package is entitled "Rematch" and is about the main event of RAW. You may have heard something about it. Triple H wins ins this one two, but it looks somewhat better for Jeff. (Jeff's punches don't.) This time we see that Triple H actually hit a low blow with the ref distracted before he hit the Pedigree, which makes a world of difference. (Well, it does to me.) Here's the beatdown and the save. (2:14)

Open. Fireworks. Michael Cole. Tazz. And...

Commissioner William Regal is on his way out to the ring. Cole tells us that Regal has already made one big match - The Dudleyz take on Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit in a table match, to take care of those meddling Canadians. Regal actually calls out Undertaker and Kane - that's taking your life in your hands. The Brothers of Destruction take their time but then do show up. There are some really unflattering shots of Undertaker and his gut there. They go around their celebrations like there's not a guy in a suit standing in the ring (Taker almost banging an arm into a cameraman at one point), but then their music stops and Regal starts talking. "I will not have you two coming out, as you did Monday night, on Raw, as Steve Austin and Triple H were celebrating in the should not interfere in other people's business. So, what I suggest you do is stay away from Steve Austin and Triple H, like I sure they will do the same for you." As a bonus, Kane gets to defend his Hardcore title right now..

Kane (w/Undertaker) vs Rhyno (w/Edge, Christian and a ref) - Undertaker fights (read: destroys) E&C ands Kane and Rhyno brawl. Taker holds his own against the champions (getting the better of most we see), and battle to the crowd, while, Kane takes care of Rhyno in the ring. Leaping clothesline connects. Crowd shots of the fight in the stands distract us, but Kane's ready for the chokeslam already - and it hits. Oh, wait, we've got company: Triple H & Steve Austin (w/chairs) are here and they know how to use those accessories. Many many chair shots and Kane ain't going anywhere. And then many, many more shots to his left shoulder, trying to break that arm. Doesn't seem to be working, but they sure aren't stopping. Taking turns with the stabbing chair shot to the chest. Triple H and Austin yell at Rhyno to cover, and he obliges. (2:29) Triple H's music plays for Rhyno's win. Undertaker is FINNALY back, but Austin and Triple H are gone. Rhyno just kinda disappeared right here - I assume E&C ditched Taker in the crowd some place.

Maybe it was E&C's plan not to put up concentrate on drawing Taker away from the ring, and  fighting him would be counter to that?

Moments ago. Then, during the break, Kane is staggering up the ramp, and can't even walk with the pain coming from his left arm.

Right to Censor (w/Ivory) vs APA & Kai En Tai - Much talk about RTC's losing streak. APA and Kai En Tai have a "unique relationship" and that's all the explanation you're getting. They do mention Monday but don't really explain how it turned into this. Later, Chyna versus Molly Holly. Funaki and Steven will start. Sumo set up by Funaki, and he gets the knee, right, right, whip, clothesline misses, flying headscissors by Funaki. Tag to TAKA, Martial arts dance, they both duck the clothesline, drop toe hold by Funaki, camel clutch and TAKA hits the drop kick to the face. Double celebration. TAKA with a front facelock but Steven pushiest him in to the RTC so they can quad beat him. Val comes in without really being tagged (ref Teddy Long is too busy stopping Funaki and the APA from getting in to stop it) Right, right, right, corner whip, charge in elbow misses, TAKA charges in and meets elbow. Val goes up and comes off with a flying back elbow (I guess) but TAKA moves out of the way, but he's up quick with a clothesline to keep control. Whip, spinebuster by Val - Val's using the same move Saturn was using on Heat, a stretch plum? Doesn't last long enough to matter - Bradshaw quickly breaks it up. Tag to Goodfather, kick. Throw in corner, kick, right, right, right, right. hiptoss out of the corner. Celebration. Pickup, back suplex. Two hand cover, one, two. Val's in again without a tag, and he lays in the stomps. Tag to Bull. Double whip, double back elbow. Pickup by Bull and a short clothesline. Repeat. TAKA start to get up on his own and gets kicked. Push in the corner, on to the top rope but Bradshaw's there and throws down Bull before he can go for the superplex. Bull knocks Bradshaw off the apron, Faarooq is annoyed and comes to take Bull out and before long, it all breaks down into a 7 man brawl - Steven Richards is content to watch from the apron. Funaki's thrown out of the ring, Bull is clothesline. Goodfather is out and throws Funaki over the barrier - Steven Richards gets a powerbomb from Bradshaw in all this, but Bull comes back in to attack him, whip, reversed, double spinebuster by APA, and TAKA comes off the rope rope with a flying knee drop. Cover, one two three (4:20) Kai En Tai win! Play their music! RTC's streak has hit new lows. 

Coincidentally, let's look at Tommy Maddox and the XFL piece from Monday. The Million Dollar Game is Sunday.

Backstage, Undertaker's looking for the Commissioner's office with Kane (still in a lot of pain) in tow - he tells people to call 911? Hmm.

In the back, Grand Master Sexay is checking on the European gold - actually checking out Sexay's own reflection in it. "Hey homie, why don't you get your paws off my hardware?" "Latinooooooo Heeeeeeeeat! Hey, what's up - hey, you don't need to get all wickity whack over, I wasn't sweating your gold, dawg!" "What do you mean, dog, ese? Are you calling me a pooch? Are you going to put me on a leash and walk me all over the dressing room or what man?" "No, chill man - you got it all wrong, you don't need to get so hot, tamale!" "Hot tamale? So, now, I'm  a dog that feed tamales to? I mean, What are you trying to imply here?" "No no no, man, what I need to do is take you to the club and show you some hip hop moves - show you this right there, yea, yea- give me some? Give me some?" "Only thing I'm going give to you is a hip hop all over in the ring!" Eddie walks off with his belt. "In the ring? Ok. In the ring!"

Backstage, we see the WCW limo arrive. I thought the licensee plate was white last time? 

In the commissioner's office, Undertaker and the Kane helpful clear of Regal's desk, they politely ask (and by that, I mean they grab him by the lapels) for some changes around here. "You are going to give Triple H and Austin, and once we're done with those two, Edge, Christian and Rhyno - we want them!" Regal says he doesn't have to do what they say. Undertaker tells Kane to show him what happens when people upset him - and he sets the trash can on fire (off camera.) Regal gives them a tag team title match against Edge and Christian - but plays dumb when they want more. To encourage him further, Kane sets the house plant on fire. Regal quickly decides that, if Undertaker and Kane win the titles, they can face Austin and Triple H. Undertaker seems satisfied, but before they leave Regal adds a stipulation - No DQ. Undertaker asks Kane what he thinks - Kane thinks it's a good idea to set the desk on fire.

Moments ago, fire.

These are your announcers. They recap it one more time for those at home who are slow (they're probably still wondering how Kane can set fires like that.)

Grand Master Sexay vs Eddie Guerrero (w/WWF the Music Volume 5) for the European Title - That Sexay, getting himself in trouble backstage again. Cole explains street lingo to us, which is always good for the laugh. Sexay starts the claps and starts dancing - Eddie rather just beat him up, and so he does. Kick, right, right, right, whip, spinning back elbow. Stomp. Whip, clothesline misses, Sexay slides under and comes up with a kick and a reverse neckbreaker. Raise the roof! Right, right, corner whip, reversed, Eddie eats Boot, Sexay to the second rope - he just kinda jumps at Eddie, which works well since Eddie happened to duck, kick DDT from Sexay for one two kickout. Eddie rolls out, Sexay off the ropes and a dropkick through the ropes. Sexay rolls out and Eddie gets in rights, but Sexay takes back the advantage and bulldogs him on the ramp. Sexay throws him back in and goes for the top rope - flying cross body is ducked. Double stomp by Sexay. Turnbuckle smash. Shoulder to gut X 5.Corner whip, but Eddie takes too long and Sexay is waiting for him - Stun Gun on the turnbuckle. Kick is caught by Eddie, enzuiguri is not. Whip, backdrop. Right, right, dance, right. Always a winning combination. Turnbuckle shot, corner whip, reversed, Sexay  kips up and goes for a waistlock, Eddie goes behind, Sexay hits a hard elbow to escape, but Eddie pushes Sexay into the ring post, then rolls him up for one two Sexay kicks out. Kick, back suplex. Eddie is going all the way up - is time for the frog splash? No, because he's taking too long and Sexay is up top to stop him. Rights, and joining him - superplex!  Can Sexay cover?  Could've, but he's not. He's going for the glasses instead - time for the Hip Hop Drop, but Eddie grabs the leg of ref Tim White, White struggles to break loose and ends up bouncing off the ropes and crotching Sexay in the process. Oklahoma roll by Eddie with his feet on the ropes for 3. (4:34)

Backstage, Vince, Hunter and Austin have words with Regal - why did he give this match? Regal stresses the importance of the no-DQ stipulation, but Hunter and Austin are having trouble grasping at what he's going for, I guess. Vince decides that perhaps they need some entertainment to settle down, and since Shane is here, he can supply some. Vince goes off, and the other three resume their discussion.   

Lugz Linda and Shane double team to beat Vince up from Wrestlemania - there sure doesn't seem like it happened last Monday but that's what it says.

Lillian Garcia talk to Edge and Christian. (Rhyno stands nearby, hugging his newly won belt.) If you're a betting man (or woman) bet on Edge and Christian. They've been up against big obstacles in the past. And they have a plan that reeks of awesomeness.

Vince McMahon is out - what better time to tell you that Trish is guest hosting Heat (again.) Vince has words for the fans. The fans have words for him. Vince angrily brings us up to date on this angle. "I never really wanted to buy WCW in the first place!" Since Shane apparently has something to say to Vince, so Vince wants him to come out to the ring and confront him face to face right now. Shane McMahon obliges, but needs his own music. Shane's listed as "WCW Owner" but they don't have any particular logo. Also, This is the first time they've been in the same ring since that WM match we just saw.  Shane says he's sorry - he wants to apologize. Vince says it's about time. Shane says he's sorry - if he knew WM would be that fun, he would have done that a long time. Things are heating up with WCW. And with Linda's attorneys. Shane: "Dad, Have a Nice Day." Shane wants to go, but Vince wants to go back to Raw for a second - and his talk with Big Show. Whatever was said is clipped out, hmm. Vince says the Show is still signed to the WWF - so let's make this all public and call Show out to discuss whatever he and Shane were going to discuss. Big Show takes his time to get out there, but then it's Big Show so he can. Show gives Shane a handshake and a hug. Vince asks Show if he was trying to impress Shane? "Shane would see you, as do I and everyone else does, unbelievable potential. But clearly, even Shane would have to admit that you are the single biggest disappointment in the history of business." Shane comes to Show's defense, and Vince says that Shane's trying to get Show in WCW. Vince saves him the trouble - Show's Shane's now. And it'll be like the old times with the two - as we go back to last year, as Shane dresses down Big Show on the 05.04.00 Smackdown. Vince says he'll get plenty more talks down in WCW. And then they'll play games - like when Shane broke that cement block over Show's head at last year's Judgment Day. And then you'll get poetry, as Shane did about Show last year. "Which way did he go?", many many times (but we'll pick 05.08.00 RAW as the first one.) And the catchphrases: "Which way did he go? Which way did he go? Which way did he go? Which way did he go?" That's the question that Vince poses to Show right now - which way will he go? "Even though here in the World Wrestling Federation, to this point, you've pretty much squandered your opportunities, it still remains the fact that you have the potential to be the biggest meanest champion of all time." The moment of decision is on him. Shane tries to interject, saying he's not trying to recruit the Show, but Vince cuts him off. Show chokes Vince - but then changes his mind and chokes Shane - CHOKESLAM! Vince decides that Shane vs Show at Backlash in a last man standing match seems about right. (13:05)

Moments ago.

Dudley Boyz (w/o Spike) vs Chris Jericho (w/Foot Locker double team submission, Benoit save of Monday) & Chris Benoit in a table match - Is he still out from the Baldo Bomb? No one's mentioned him at all, which kinda makes me worry (and sad.) Cole says that Regal is putting getting revenge on both teams by putting them against each other - when did the Dudleyz have problems with the commissioner? Benoit's back to the yellow and black tights. Before we start, William Regal and Kurt Angle grace us with their presence. He's got a couple announcements: Regal vs Jericho in a Duchess of Queensbury match (rules to come) and Angel vs Benoit in a half hour Ultimate Submission match - whoever gets the other guy to tap out the most in the time gets the win. Oh, and the match can start now. The Dudleyz attack from behind, Bubba and Benoit spill to the outside and D-Von and Jericho fight inside. Kurt Angle hangs around to watch it all from the stage - I guess Regal left. Whip, spinning missile shoulderblock from D-Von. Whip, and this time Jericho comes off with the flying forearm. Dropkick and the springboard dropkick knocks D-Von to the outside, but Bubba's in with a Samoan drop before he can follow up. Benoit is in, kick, chop, kick, right, right, corner whip, reversed, Benoit gets his feet up, clothesline misses and there's Bubba Bomb. Benoit fights back when picked up, Chop, chop by Benoit, corner whip is reversed and Benoit gets slammed - WHAT ARE YOU DOING, D-Von almost slips there. Testify Dance, get the tables. And they both do. Angle watches. This time they're smart enough raise the table before someone can hit the sliding dropkick into it. Smacking Jericho with the back of it. It's set up in the ring, and they set up for the 3D - it hits but Jericho is in the move the the table. Spin kick on D-Von but Bubba gets a right, then moves the table. Jericho is laid on it as D-Von goes up. Benoit crotches D-Von, so Bubba goes after Benoit, but Jericho knocks Bubba through the ropes and they both double team D-Von. Now Jericho moves the table, and they both go up to the second rope - double superplex? Yes, but Bubba moves the table.  Bubba clotheslines Jericho out. Right by Bubba not it's ducked and turned into a waistlock, go behind by Bubba, go behind by Benoit, German suplex, German suplex, third is aimed for the table but D-Von flips it way. Jericho off the top rope - missile dropkick to D-Von. Chris set up to the table on D-Von on it. Jericho tells him to hold it. Lionsault but Bubba tries him up on the second rope - Now Angles on his way as Benoit goes for the headbutt on D-Von - Angle pushes Benoit off the top rope as D-Von moves and Benoit goes through himself - and there's the bell. (4:31) Either the ref (who was watching Jericho and Bubba) figured that D-Von must've done something to cause the table break, or they forget about the "must be done by an offensive move" stipulation for this match. Either way, Dudley wins, and Angle's pretty happy with himself.

Undertaker/Kane/Marilyn Manson video from RAW - with new clips from Monday.

Later tonight, a NO DQ match for the Tag Team Titles - E&C vs U&K.

Backstage, Vince wishes E&C luck in their match but it being a No DQ match, they might not need it. Turning back to Triple H and Steve Austin, they're in "watch clips from Monday" mode. The post match beatdown is even better on video tape.

Molly is getting ready for Chyna - Coach asks her what she thinks of her chances tonight. "I may not be as big of Chyna, but I'm going go out there and do my best! You never know, you may be looking at the next woman's champ!" Not the biggest? She's flashed back to being Mona!

Meanwhile, Chyna's checking out her own butt in the mirror. And, totally unrelated, Kevin Kelly is holding a microphone - he'll talk to Undertaker and Kane later on.

Tennessee Titian Jevon "The Freak" Kearse is in the house.

Kevin Kelly holds a microphone for Undertaker and Kane - "Why don't you shut up? I swear you ask the most stupid ass questions I've ever heard." They're gonna show Austin and Triple H what it's really like to be a bad ass. E&C may have won the belts seven times, but tonight, they're going lose it for the seventh time. Undertaker's gonna make them famous. Kane's left arm is wrapped and he's still holding it.

Molly Holly (w/o Crash) vs Chyna for the Women's Championship - Weird not to see Crash with her. You can buy Chyna's clothes - you can probably buy some of what's under the clothes. This is at least better than that WrestleMania outfit. Molly look intimidated, but gets a wristlock, reversed into a hammerlock, reversed into a hammerlock, reversed into a headlock, Molly pushed into the ropes and knocked down by Chyna's shoulderblock. Molly's defiantly unsure of how she's going to pull this off. Armbar, reversed by Chyna, Molly cartwheels into a  reversal and works it into a wristlock - Chyna tries to power her way out and ends up armdragging Molly.  clotheslined is ducked by Molly, but she gets kicked and press slammed on the next pass. Chyna charges into the corner but Molly moves out of the way - bulldog, cover, one two big kickout. Molly goes all the way up - Molly Go Round? - no, a cross body, one two kickout. Off the ropes, and right into a clothesline. Setting her up for the powerbomb - holding her up long and then dropping her hard. Hook the leg and cover one two three. (2:13) Chyna's just too much.

Angle tells someone not to come out till he tells them too - they're going to teach Chris Benoit all about the three Is. 

XFL Million Dollar Game Hype.

Kurt Angle is out for a five minute submission exhibition, apparently. Back to the last time we saw Angle - costing Benoit the match. Tazz is looking forward to the Benoit/Angle match - it's all suplexes and submissions, so it works well for him. Angle talks about dominating by submissions all his life. "As the kids say - it's my thang." Pinfalls leave him empty. He likes submissions - he likes people saying they're not good for them. He specifically requested his match with Chris Benoit to be a thirty minute submission match, to teach him a lesson. He's gonna make Benoit squeal over and over and over again. He thinks the fans might not be getting this, so he invites some people to help him explain. Three "locals" come out to show what he can do - each guy gets a chance to put him in a submission, and he's going to make each of them submit. These guys are all OVW guys - I could've sworn I read their names some place, but I can't find them now. There's a timer on the oval-tron on the stage, but it's never shown or even mentioned here, so I won't worry too much about it. Guy #1 goes out to a STF and armbar in no time. Front headlock, and that's enough to get the second guy. The third guy gets a waistlock, but Angle gets a fireman's carry and cross armbreaker. And it's all done. The first guy comes back - but he gets taken down and gets the cross armbreaker. The second guy looks hesitant to continue, and ends up running right into a  belly to belly - dragon sleeper with leg scissors is good enough there. That guy is having a hard time get up so Angle helps him up and back to his corner - then decides just to take out his leg and make him tap to the ankle lock as well. Now he tells the third guy he'll get down on all fours and he can try to take him down - Angle quickly and agility reverses into another ankle lock and is slow in letting go. The first guy gets a free shot form the sitting position. Angle is waiting but Chris Benoit runs in and takes his place - Angle realizes too late and the Crossface is on! Benoit's not letting go! Tim White can't break it - but Benoit decides to let go. Tazz puts over Benoit's submission skills. It should be noted that Cole was really quiet and let Tazz called all the action in that submission sequence up there.

The participants in the main event are coming to the ring - Kane's not really holding his arm any more. Triple H and Austin are watching in the back - wait, now they're going some place.

Edge & Christian (w/ Rhyno, w/o his belt) vs Kane & Undertaker in a no disqualification match for the Tag Team Titles - huh? Did he lose it already? Kane isn't holding his arm as much, but it's pretty much attached to his side and not moving - he has to do the ring post motion one armed! Undertaker comes out on his bike, while allows plenty of time for the three one one attack t come on. Undertaker is quickly up and in to help - everyone knot named Christian and Kane end up outside. Sidewalk slam with his on arm - clothesline with one arm. Christian goes for the bad arm but Kane gets a right, right, right, right. Boot choke. Why are Edge and Undertaker waiting for tags?  Right misses and Christian fight backs with punches of his own - probably not the best idea, and it shows as he gets pushed away and Edge gets elbowed on the apron - over the shoulder (with one arm) power slam. Edge is hiptossed in (without one arm.) and a big boot (with no arms!) Off the ropes and Rhyno gets a shot in. Edge charges at Kane and gets backdropped to the floor. Meanwhile, Edge is going for the chokeslam - Rhyno in with a GORE into the injured arm. Christian got dropped on the commentator's desk but it doesn't seem to matter because Edge is working over that arm and hard. Hammerlock and knees to the elbow. Kane manages to kick Undertaker away - can he make the tag? No. Edge cuts him off, right, right, armbar and Kane's in a lot of pain - he tries to force Edge away but Edge holds on - Kane's trying to go to his corner and Kane gets in a right, right, right, Edge with a kick and a one arm DDT (Cole says flying armbar but he doesn't count?) and cover for one two when Taker comes in - Earl warns Taker, Taker warns Earl. Christian in and he's working over the arm now. Bending the arm - that doesn't actually look to painful but it looks like it might be when your arm already hurts. Christian uses his full body weight on that arm, but Kane, despite it being injured (and using his other arm to help) and drops him with a back suplex! That looked impressive even if it didn't make sense. Both of them need tags. Edge is tagged and the ref looks at him and not the tag to Undertaker - Undertaker is not too pleased - stomp, stomp, cover for 2. Right, Kane hits back harder, and another. Edge with his own, they're exchanging punches and Edge is amazingly holding even - corner whip but no Kane's not going - reverse into the other corner and Kane gets a big back suplex with one arm. Christian is in to stop him from the tag but he gets clothesline. Edge tries again and gets punched - and there's the tag, right, right, right, whip on Christian, big backdrop. Big Boot for Edge. Clubbing rights for Christian in the corner, and Edge is thrown in the same corner with rights - Corner whip, clothesline for Edge, clothesline for Christian. Edge is clotheslined out - Chokeslam for Christian is broken up with a chair shot from Rhyno. Christian is slow to cover but does - one two kickout. Rhyno's had enough, and he's just punching Taker in the head on the mat - Kane breaks that up and he and Rhyno have a close fight spilling out of the ring, till Kane kills him with a big boot. Chokeslam on the ramp! Triple H and Stone Cold are out again - Double team beatdown on Kane on the outside! Edge and Christian have matters in hand in the ring - looks like they're getting ready for a conchairto but Taker ducks! Right for Edge, big boot for Christian - LAST RIDE! Last Ride on Christian! Cover, one two three! (8:12) The new champs celebration doesn't last too long - Triple H and Austin are in quick to lay Taker out as well (if only they moved a little quicker) - but Kane's in with a steel chair - he may only have one arm to swing it with, but he's going to swing. Austin's music plays - but he's not the new tag team champions - Kane and Undertaker are. Look at Triple H and Austin, look at the new champs - is there anyone we're forgetting here? I guess not. That's it. 

The Cubs Fan
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