Didja miss me? C'mon.
So here's a brief story, if you'll indulge me. Last Friday, Kim's parents took Kim's brother, Kim and I to the Minnesota State Fair, where I'm pretty sure they offer EVERY kind of food either deep-fried, on a stick, or both. It was during a trip inside one of these food pavilions where we picked up a tray of deep fried cheese curds, a tray of onion rings, Kim got a giant pickle (huh huh huh), and I picked up a walleye on a stick. Laden with all these possessions, we proceeded to grab a bench outside to get to snackin'. Now, maybe it was just the grease and the salt and the cholesterol that made us all loopy...or maybe it actually DID happen and it wasn't a mass hallucination. Kim turned to me and said, "hey, look over there. It's X-Pac." And do you know what? It was!
I had a GREAT time in Minneapolis - I mean, I'm ready to MOVE there, for crying out loud. Sadly, I didn't find Prince's house, but perhaps next time.
Meantime they go and schedule SmackDown!, trying to make sure I completely MISS it. I mean, I've got a STREAK to consider here - what about me? What about CRZ?
The good news is, having been offline for almost a week, I have NO idea what's going on behind the scenes, and you may find this difficult to believe but it sure makes it a lot easier to enjoy these shows when you're not subjected to everybody else's opinion of it - although just KNOWING everybody still hates the Undertaker without good reason *does* still add a deep level of enjoyment to his matches...hey, maybe there'll be one of those tonight! Let's get crackin' and find out!
UPN - (bad edit to remove "Thursday" and NOT add "Tuesday")!
So you think this is a test run to see if people are more interested in a LIVE show on Tuesdays than a taped on Thursdays? HMMMMMM
TV-PG-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Let Us Take You Back to the Continuing Saga of Austin and Angle - complete with dramatic background music! Hey, look really carefully and you can see the pool early in the last set of clips...not that you'd know what it is ahead of time. Wow, this background music sure sounds like the first "Stone Cold" music, doesn't it? Am I just killing time during this three minute batch? Yeah...probably 'cause I want you to go read the RAW report
I GET LETTERS: Cubs Fan weighs in again - that boy's been BUSY during my vacation!
UPDATE! (As of 9/4/01)
Smackdown logo, up close.
So much of it changed (all the "dark" house show footage scrapped, lots of clips from the first couple shows and recent TV in general) that they might have just redone it from scrap and just happened to start similiar. They managed to squeeze even MORE this time - for all the effort they must've done to get the Angle/Shane spot in there, if you do something silly like blink, you don't even know it's there.
Ups: Austin, the Rock, Angle, Booker T, and Jericho all get a little more. Triple H, maybe a little more than that. Maybe a little Sean O'Haire, though if he's got sent down, maybe they'll change that quick. (And if he hasn't, when did he become invisible?) Rhyno gets a little more. RVD, Tajiri and Benoit weren't in this at all, and DDP was only shown getting beat up, so them too. Awesome's not getting chokeslammed, but he's not getting on TV so I dunno if that's really much good.
Downs: Bye bye Kidman. Nice to know you. Edge sure gets beat up a lot. Kaientai are probably just happy to be on TV. The Hardyz get cut, even Lita is only cameo in. Still no love for Rikishi. Faarooq's clothesline kinda gets replaced by a Bradshaw clothesline, and I think we'd know what he say to that.
LIVE "(Recorded Earlier)" from the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, ON - for the second night in a row, transmitido en espanol (and NOT francais) SAP in real time - this is a Very Special Presentation - a Tuesday episode of WWF SMACKDOWN! The date is 4.9.1, the networks are UPN and the Score, and the main event is a huge eight man tag...
TONIGHT: The Dudley Boyz, Rhyno & Booker T take on the APA, Chris Jericho & the Rock!
Here's a LIVE! shot of Kurt Angle - he's pretty pleased with himself! Lookit him drink that water like he owns the place!
HARDY BOYZ (with Lita) v. CAW CAW CAW & JUSTIN CREDIBLE (with Nipples) - wow, Terri's still with Raven? I guess I should keep watching Heat. Terri and Lita have a staredown - Lita gives Terri a hand to talk to, and Terri responds by shoving Lita through the ropes. Lita wants to go, but referee "Blind" Mike Chioda keeps them separated - as does Raven, who lets Terri hide behind him. Here we go: Matt and Raven lock up, Hardy side headlock, powered out, Hardy shoulderblock. Back to the headlock - Raven reaching for the tag but Hardy kicks away Credible's hand. This brings him in but Hardy backdrops him while still holding the headlock! Credible back over - headscissors by Hardy - double takeover! Double clothesline puts both men the floor! Tag to Jeff - Matt on all fours - Jeff with a boosted flying body attack onto both men! But he's already holding his side. Stomp for Raven - Raven rolled back in - cover - 2. Speaking in Tongues legdrop. Free shot for Credible. Terri's up on the apron, and that'll bring Chioda over - behind his back, Credible pulls the top rope and takes Jeff over and out off the whip reversal. Matt tries to get in, further getting Chioda out of the action. Jeff put back in where Credible has failed to make that tag. Head to the buckly by Credible, kick, kick, kick, kick, right, pulling the legs out of the corner in an almost-powerbomb...for 2. Tag to Raven. Headbutt to the injured ribs. Overhand forearm to the back. Raven on the second rope - knee in the back...all the way to the canvas! 1, 2, no! Credible comes in to argue the count...and Chioda misses a surprise small package by Hardy...by the time Chioda turns back around, Raven's kicked out at 1. Raven in the mount - right, right, right, right, right, right, and ramming the head repeatedly into the canvas. Choke on the second rope - Terri jumping up and down to accentuate it - now slapping Jeff one! This'll bring Lita over...Credible threatens a superkick and she pulls up. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Hardy has managed a sitout jawbreaker and both men are down. Jeff trying the tag - Raven has the leg - Jeff with a backflip mule kick to break it - and makes the tag! Credible tagged as well - Matt ducks the clothesline, right for Credible, right for Raven, swinging neckbreaker to Credible, Raven reverses the whip to the corner but Hardy gets the boot up, ahhhh drop for Raven...Credible ducks a swing and suplexes Matt. Jeff back over with a shot for Credible. Raven wants the DDT on Jeff - Matt saves - HE wants the Twist of Fate but Credible is back up with the superkick! Raven clotheslines Jeff (and himself out of the ring) - Credible covers - 1, 2, JOHNNY ACE! Credible picks up Matt and mocks a Twist of Fate attempt - but Matt shoves him off...and he collides with Raven on the apron! Gutshot, Twist of Fate by Matt, Jeff with a swantonbomb - Matt covers - 1, 2, 3! (4:06) Post-match, Terri gives Team Xtreme what for - until Lita gives her a gutshot and Twist of Fate. THIS is the match that turned the tide in the WWF/Alliance battle! YES!
Mr. & Mrs. Austin are WALKING! "After what happened last night, I don't know if I can face these guys." "Steve, you're gonna have to." "I don't know if I can - do you know what happened to me last night?" "I DO know, but you're gonna have to face these people." "I'll tell you right now, if one of these (beep) off to me, I am gonna whip his ass (beep - oops missed it), you understand me?" "Yes I understand!" Austin enters the dressing room- where everybody in the Alliance is looking at the floor. Austin eyeballs Stasiak. "Pick yer head up - LOOK AT ME! Every one of you pick your damn heads up. Did somebody die? Huh? You got a problem, D-Von? Look at me! LOOK AT ME! I know what you're thinkin' - I know exactly what you're thinking. You worried about what happened last night? Did what happened last night bother you? See Stone Cold Steve Austin out there beggin'? To see me cryin'? Does that bother you, Mike? Huh? Look at me. It shouldn't bother you, you know why? Because I did it for you. I begged last night for Shawn Stasiak. I cried last night for Chris Kanyon. What I did last night - look at me - I did for the Alliance. Do you think that if Stone Cold Steve Austin was on his own - if I was shackled up in those chains, if I was on my own, I would have told Kurt Angle 'hey, go ahead, you little sorry (beep), throw me off the bridge!' That's what I would have said if I was on my own! But look at Tommy Dreamer back there, look at Test, look at Rhyno. I've taken you guys under my wing, so what I did last night, I did for YOU. Do I make myself clear? I have led by example, ever since I..." Chavo Guerrero arrives. "Sorry I'm late, there's a lot of traffic here and I'm really sorry..." "Why are you late, Chavo?" "There was some of traffic, and I was rushing as fast as I can..." "What? No one else is late. What gives you the right to show up late?" "I was rushing - I was driving as fast as I could, I'm sorry..." "Get your (beep) back." And then Austin punks him out from behind - punches away, kicks away...while the rest of the Alliance watches. "Son of a (beep)! What what what what - you son of a (beep) - get up!" And he throws him into the wall. One more beep and one more stomp. "Yer pathetic! Where's my belt? Debra! Let's git outta here - git!"
Tazz blockades ANOTHER truck of Stacker 2.
CHRISTIAN (with Edge's music - but a solo entrance video - and Let Us Take You Back to Last Night) hits the ring. This promo will either take him to the next level...or resign him to obscurity. Not to put any pressure on him, ha. "You know last night...was one of the greatest nights of my life! I mean, I haven't felt that good since I moved to Florida and officially became a US citizen...eh? But it seems lately...("ass hole!")...but it seems lately I've been living in denial. Yeah, I heard all the talk. Jealousy. Bitterness. Resentment. And last night, it hit me. All the talk is true! My brother Edge has been jealous, bitter, and resentful of me MY WHOLE LIFE. Think about it for a minute. It's always been Edge...and Christian. E&C. EDGE AND HIS BROTHER! Well why do you always get to go first, Edge, huh? What makes you so damn special!? What have you ever done?! Well I'm special. Me! I know I'm special! ("You suck!") I've always been there for you, Edge - always. But where were you for me last night, huh? HUH? I coulda been the WCW Champion! And you were nowhere to be found - WHY? Why? Because it woulda KILLED you. It would have eaten you alive to see your brother walking around with singles gold. You made me do this, Edge. This is your fault. But it all comes back. ("Ass hole!") Edge...you and the people of this city deserve each other. Because you're all selfish! You're all so damn selfish! Why are you so selfish, huh!? Well I don't need you, Edge. ("You suck!") I don't need you, Edge...not for anything. Not even for a Conchairto - I proved that last night. You have *nothing* that I need...but you do have something that I want - the intercontinental title! That's why at Unforgiven, Edge...that's why at Unforgiven, I'm gonna take your intercontinental title...the same way you always took the spotlight from me, every chance that you got. And it will be mine - it's perfect. Singles gold. And you know, Edge...just like our song, I think I know you. But as last night proved...you SO don't - know - me."
Back to the dressing room, where Mr. & Mrs. Austin are sitting on a bench. "Everything I went through last night, Debra, and that man shows up late? He got what he had coming. WHAT?" It's Stasiak...he offers a cup of coffee to try to cheer him up. Austin looks incredulous - to Debra - back to Stasiak, whose hand is suddenly shaking. "I just figured to send my wife to get me some coffee...thank you." Unfortunately, Austin burns himself on it...so he throws it onto Stasiak (OW!) and rams him into the wall. "Debra! Call a paramedic!" "Do you think he's gonna be all right?" "I don't give a DAMN about that man, I think I burned my mouth..."
Jericho/Angle/TLC video deal ad
And now, the Stacker 2 Burn of the Week! From RAW, Steven Richards superkicks Undertaker...then challenges him to a match the next night. Hey, that's now!
STEVEN RICHARDS (already in the ring) v. TAKER (on his Beautiful Something Python Bike) - "Many people are wondering why I Stevenkicked the Undertaker last night on RAW. Many people are wondering why I even challenged the Undertaker to a match tonight. Many people believe that I am crazy for challenging the Undertaker tonight. Well I have one thing to say to the Undertaker - *I* - HATE - YOU. It was your fault that the Right to Censor disbanded! It was your fault that my own brothers and sister turned on me! And even though each and every one of you people out there do not have faith in Steven Richards...*I* most certainly do. So Undertaker, come out here and GET SOME." Richards shows NO fear as Taker nears the ring. Cole calls Richards "the chihuahua in Undertaker's yard." Richards hasn't let up with the screaming...but promptly leaves the ring when Taker advances. The chase is on...around the ring, back in the ring, Richards back out again. Taker is visibly annoyed. Richards has a chair now. Taker looks to the crowd like "what." Taker out once again...Richards halfway up the ramp - chair swing misses - another poke misses - everybody slowly back up the ramp. Richards drops the chair and tells him to look back to the ring. Taker looks back...Richards tries a sneak attack - Taker with a soupbone to put him down...but Taker looks back again - something's caught his eye....and his name is BRIAN ADAMS. Boot to the bike - TIPS IT OVER!! Taker walks over to Adams and they start brawling...but BRYAN CLARKE is up from behind! The newly reformed Kronik take it to Taker - into the STEEL steps. Adams with a right hand on top of it. Richards is back up and directing traffic. Taker into the ring - into a Clarke clothesline. And now Kronik pick him up - it's been a while since we've seen HIGH TIMES...although the commentators don't call it that. We'll have to see how this all plays out, actually...including how the WWF decides to handle all these spellings!
NOW I'm curious to see if this was leaked before the show out on the Web. I mean, I'm glad *I* didn't know about it!
To the Commissioner's office. "Ohh, Steven Richards, there's gonna be bloody hell to pay now, sunshine." Shane McMahon & Booker T pay a visit and start a bit of a testify riff. They tell Regal that he may hold sway over the Rock as a WWF superstar, but that WCW title belt falls under HIS domain...so at Unforgiven, Rock will once again be defending the WCW Championship against Booker T...oh, and Shane O. Mac as well. Handicap match it is. Without much ground to say otherwise, Regal reluctantly okays it.
Moments Ago, three paragraphs ago. Oh yeah... (No contest)
"It hurts!" Debra tries to take a look at Austin's mouth but he won't let her. "It did burn, the coffee was hot!" "What is wrong with you? You know what I think your problem is, I think you need to go out there and you need to confront the public." "I talked to the Alliance, I talked to the people that mattered to me, I don't wanna talk to the public." "I know you talked to the Alliance - you're Stone Cold Steve Austin - you've got to go out there and talk to the public." "I don't wanna talk to 'em!" "Steve, they're not even - they're - they're foreigners! They're Canadians, that's even more of a reason!" "All right, I'll think about it. I'll think about it." Austin continues to toddle away from Debra checking on his mouth.
TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST v. THA 1 BILLY GUNN - In certain circles of our fine business, we refer to a clash like this as a "dream match." However, I've never really run in those circles. (Test Wotsitolla Boot -> pin 4:53)
Austin says he's thought about it, he IS Stone Cold Steve Austin, he IS the WWF Champion, he IS the leader of the Alliance, so he IS going to go out there and give those people a piece of his mind. Well all right - we're only an ad break away...
It's the WWF LIVE! Satuday, Dallas! Sunday, Austin! Monday, San Antonio's RAW is sold out! One week from tonight, Houston!
And STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN *is* out....no, he's walking back! Hahahaha that RULES. The music stops, the video stops, the lights stop. No, it starts up again...and STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN is out a second time. I'll go NUTS if he walks back again. TV-PG-DLV ratings box is up - wow, we're in the second hour already? "SAP Transmitido en espanol" Austin's made it to the ring - corner number one - corner number two - corner number three - aaaaaaand corner number four. Ring announcer TONY CHIMEL stands ready at ringside to hand over a mic - and now it's in Austin's hands. Heck if I know what they're chanting. "The only reason...the only reason I came out here tonight...is because you people are just a buncha foreigners. That's right, you don't matter to me - you don't matter - put those fingers down. Last night, .... I can't believe last night...how bloodthirsty the people of Canada were. ("Austin sux") You actually cheered - you actually cheered SHUT UP. I hear one more 'what?' somebody gon' get their (beep) whipped." HA! "You cheered when Kurt Angle...hit me in the back with a steel pipe - ya cheered when he kidnapped me - for a split-second I was the KING O' THE WORLD. You cheered when he was gonna throw me off the bridge like a piece o' trash. You people don't respect Stone Cold Steve Austin...my beautiful wife - my gorgeous, beautiful, loving wife Debra - what? - came out to this ring - she came out to this very ring to beg for my life...and you disrespected her. You booed her! What? I cannot believe the mentality of the Canadian race. I got no respect for you people, look atchya. You're violent. You're wild. You're crazy! You don't care about a human being's life! You're pathetic! If I said - If I shut up, listen, listen, listen, if I said, if I said 'if you wanna see Stone Cold Steve Austin shackled and thrown off a bridge, gimme a hell yeah--'" "HELL YEAH!" "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAHAHA you're doin' exactly what I wanted you to do? What? You're a buncha jackasses, that's what you are! What? As far as Kurt Angle goes, Kurt Angle...you will not treat me like an animal, no you will not - what?" "Ass hole!" "Angle Angle Angle - what? That's right, as far as Kurt Angle is concerned, Unforgiven is a good name for the pay-per-view, you know why? Because I'll never forgive you for what you did to the good name of Stone Cold Steve Austin and my wife Debra. I go on record as saying this: at Unforgiven, Stone Cold Steve Austin will not be chained down. Stone Cold Steve Austin will not be blindfolded. Stone Cold Steve Austin will not be tied down...and Stone Cold Steve Austin will NOT be beaten for the World Wrestling Federation championship, thank you very--" KURT ANGLE's music plays..."What?"...and there he is. All Austin can do is hold his belt high and let him know he's still got it. "Angle" chant. "You know what, Austin? I really don't care if you forgive me or not. Because I know I will NEVER forgive you for throwin' my gold medals over a bridge. And whether or not you forgive me, Austin, I wanna make sure that you NEVER forget. So why don't we revisit the events from last night...shall we?" Let Us Take You Back to Last Night. "Are you beggin', Austin? You're beggin'! Stone Cold Steve Austin is beggin'!" "I'm not really beggin'! I wasn't really beggin' - I didn't mean it!" "You're right, Austin, you weren't beggin'. But WHAT are you doin' here? ARE YOU CRYING? You're cryin'! Lookit that! Stone Cold Steve Austin - the badass is cryin'!" "I wasn't cryin'! I wasn't cryin'! I wasn't--" Austin catches himself. "I wasn't cryin'." "Austin, let me ask you something. Are you the Rattlesnake...or the Waaaaaahttlesnake? Woow! ... Seriously...seriously. One more question, Austin, what the heck are you doing here?" "That's enough, stop the footage!" "What?" "I said that's enough!" "What?" "That's enough!" "You know what, Austin - I had so much fun with you last night." "I didn't have fun." "What?" Angle is grinning up a storm here. Austin is..not. "I saw sides of you, Austin, that I have NEVER seen before. But you know what, Austin? At Unforgiven, you're gonna see a side of Your Olympic Hero that'll make you wish you'd NEVER messed with me! Because at Unforgiven, Austin, I'm gonna show you how Stone Cold I can be. Woow!"
When we come back, Austin and Debra visit the Alliance once again. "I've been humiliated and embarrassed for the last time by Kurt Angle! You saw it again, didn't ya? Huh? You saw it on the TV. Me beggin' - cryin' for you, for you, you! You see me fall into the swimmin' pool again, courtesy of Kurt Angle? Hey, you see that? I saw it, and it makes me sick! I cain't wait...that's it, I cain't wait for Unforgiven, I have gotta whip somebody's ass, I have gotta whip somebody's ass tonight, 'cause I cannot wait for Unforgiven? Is it gonna be you? Should I whip your ass, huh? Should I whip yours? Should I whip yours, huh? Should I whip every one of your asses, huh? Who wants a piece o' me? Look at me, who wants some - who wants some o' me? That's fine, if you can't decide, I'LL decide. I said I'll decide, that's right. First (beep) walks through that door, I am gonna take to MY ring, and I am going to whip HIS ass. Come through the door, somebody..." Everybody cheers this on, since they're on the good side of the door.
Meanwhile, LILIAN GARCIA stands with the Rock. How's he feel about the news that he'll be defending his title in a handicap match at Unforgiven? "Who are you, just Barbara Walters all of a sudden, Lilian? Since when did you just become all business, Lilian? How 'bout a simple 'Hey, Rock. How ya doin' Rock? Did you enjoy lunch today, Rock? Did you like your pancakes, Rock?' How about something like that?" Again, she tries to press the question. "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa....Lilian... (whispers) Lilian. You need to let your feelings go. The Rock KNOWS you have feelings for him. The Rock knows that you think about the Rock, the Rock knows that you get that funny feeling in the bottom of your stomach, Lilian. The Rock knows that each and every single TIME you go right out there in the middle of the People's Ring, and you ring announce...you think about the Rock looking at you. Admit it, Lilian, that you go to bed every single night dreaming about marrying the Rock. Dreaming of one day to become Mrs. Lilian...Rockcia. Admit it, Lilian...you get wet....with perspiration standing this close to the Rock!" That's it, I'm outta here. "Now Lilian...the Rock knows how you feel about pie. But how do you feel about...strudel? Lilian...would you like to try some of the Rock's...strudel?" "More than anything in the world, Rock." Rock takes the mic from her. "What in the blue hell is wrong with you? The Rock was just informed that he had a match at Unforgiven - handicapmatchbetweentheRock, Booker T and Shane McMahon, and the only thing you can talk about is dessert? A little professionalism, Lilian Garcia, PLEASE. Shhh. Shhhh. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." I think Lilian needs to consider a good lawsuit. "Shane McMahon - you wanna book the match at Unforgiven, handicap match between the Rock, yourself and Booker T. Well the Rock says why don't we just cut to the chase. Shane McMahon, the Rock SEES how you look at Booker T. Booker T, the Rock SEES how you look at Shane McMahon. So the Rock says let's cut right to the chase, so why don't you two jabrones just get it over with and have a damn baby? The Rock can see it right now - little Booker Mac - first words out of his mouth - 'can u dig it, sucka?'" then he does a Shane Shuffle. "You see, Shane McMahon, at Unforgiven - at Unforgiven, nineteen days, nineteen nights from this night forward at Unforgiven, it's gonna be you two who have to forgive the Rock for takin' his right boot AND his left boot, turn 'em sideways, and stick 'em straight up BOTH your candyasses! Lilian Garcia...back to your question - how does the Rock feel about Unforgiven? Well the Rock feels about Unforgiven JUST as he feels about tonight's eight man tag match right here in T.O....the Rock feels about it, just as he feels about everything else, and that is simply...electrifying. If ya smelllllllllllalalalalalaloooow what THE ROCK ... ... Lilian, stop thinking about the People's Strudel. iiiiiiiiiiiiis cookin'."
Still waiting for someone to come through the door. "That's right, the next man that walks through the door..." I was kinda hoping it would be Shane. Austin tells them to shut up. "If a (beep) won't walk through that door - I ain't gonna wait around like the rest of you...I don't wait. I said I don't wait! (beep) go through that door, I'll go find a man myself, I don't.." Austin opens the door and finds Rob van Dam walking in. "Hey Steve, what's up? How ya doin'?" "Your little buddies in the Alliance got something to tell you." "Okay!" "Debra..." "Hey Debra!" "Heh!" "Later.....what's that about?" Everybody else: "Oooooooh."
Oh boy! Tazz with ANOTHER misdirected Stacker 2 truck! You think they'd notice they keep disappearing by now.....?
OOOH! It's another look at the outside of the Air Canada Centre!
WWF EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP HURACAN (with SmackDown! is brought to you by Foot Locker, Clearasil, and Lugz!) v. ? - Not only does it only SEEM like there's been no wrestling for half an hour, it seems like even longer because the wrestling we *did* have thirty minutes ago was Test/Gunn! "Citizens of Toronto! I pity you! For while you have Vince Carter, a man who can fly, you do not have a superhero...not like...the Hurricane! And behold! Earlier this evening I issued a super open challenge to any vile villian who thinks he has what it takes to take from me my European championship. So whoever you are, reach for your raincoat, grab your galoshes...and step into...a Hurricane!" WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW provides the opposition....Hurricane is ready to bolt, but stands his ground. "Citizen Show! I admire your courage and valor, and for those reasons alone I'll make this quick. And believe it or not, it's gonna hurt me a lot more than it's gonna hurt you." Hand of Friendship. Show takes it - thumbs up from Hurricane - then Show decides to put the squeeze on him, with comical results. Into the corner. Hurrican tries a pose and a shoulderblock - nothin'. Another pose, another shoulderblock attempt - Hurricane falls to the mat. Hurricane decides to try the ol' "hey look up there!" trick. Show looks up - Hurricane grabs a waistlock. Show with the butt butt to counter and Hurricane falls in the corner. Here he comes - boots up by Hurricane. Pose on the apron - Show grabs him and brings him in the hard way. Off the ropes - well it's a big legdrop MISSES. Hurricane tries the scoop - no dice - Show with a double sledge in the back. Arm wringer tried - Show shakes him off. Show comes in with a elbow - Hurricane rolls underneath and climbs to the top - big splash...caught. Well it's a big press...and drop. But Hurrican lands on his feet! Hurricane with the choke - thumbs up - again Show fails to leave his feet...Show with a choke of his own...but before HE can hit the big move, LANCE STORM is out with a dropkick to the back of the knee. (DQ 1:42) Handshake between Hurricane and Storm - Show back around with ahhhhhhhTHEDOUBLECHOKESLAAAAAM. Play his music!
UP NEXT: That big eight man tag! Yep - Austin/van Dam just usurped the main event slot...
Excess ad - Booker T is the in-studio guest!
Austin/Rock/Foley video deal ad
Time now for the Clearasil Smack of the Night! From RAW, Rock invites Booker T to just bring it - but Shane gets involved - then the APA get involved - well, let's just say that Clearasil is for people with pimples.
APA and CHRIS TUESDAY JERICHO (who will be on ByTe ThiS! Friday) and THE ROCK v. THE ALLIANCE - THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ & RHYNO & NAPPY T (with Shane McMahon - and Drowning Pool on the PA) - bad guys rush the ring and a Pier Eight brawl breaks out - one by one, the BODIES HIT THE FLOOR until we're left with Faarooq and D-Von Dudley in the ring - Faarooq in control - whip into the ropes, D-Von hits a flying clothesline to turn it around - right, right, off the ropes but Faarooq powerslams him for 2. Tag to Rock - open right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, Rock ducks, gutshot, DDT. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, no. Right hand, blind tag as the whip is reversed, Bubba Ray with a surprise clothesline after Rock goes up and over. Right, right, open-handed slap. Another big slap. Right, tomahawk chop, another - Rock is tired of selling and switches positions - right, righ,t right, right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed (always reversed) but Rock hits the flying clothesline. Free shot for D-Von on the apron - SHANE on the apron, Rock swings but Shane jumps off - Rock turns back to take a clothesline from Bubba Ray. Headbutt to the graun spot as Booker T occupies referee "Blind" Earl Hebner's attention. T wants the tag - and gets it. Right, overhand right, overhand, axe handle, axe handle, BEGGING him to get up - Rock blocks, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, Rock ducks the short clothesline attempt but eats a spin kick. Tag to Rhyno - open right, right, right, right, right, whip into the ropes, reversed, Rock with the spinebuster. Both men are down - Rhyno tags T, Rock tags Jericho!! Jericho ducks, flapjack off the ropes, off the ropes with a shoulderblock, back elbow for Bubba Ray, ducks the Harlem side kick, chop, chop, chop, chop, into the opposite corner is reversed, Jericho up and over and T hits the buckle - bulldog off the ropes! Jericho picks him up - vertical suplex. Lionsault!! 1, Rhyno breaks it up. Faarooq in - spinebuster for Rhyno - Dudleyz in, 3D for Faarooq - Bradshaw in, Hades lariat for D-Von. Bubba Ray with a clothesline for Bradshaw. Dudley pounding on Bradshaw - now here's Rock with a right, right, right, right, right, shove, flourish flourish NOW KISS THAT RIGHT! Everybody out but Booker T - shot from behind to the Rock - Rock reverses the whip attempt, pulls him into a - well, either dueling uranage attempts or a botched attempt but Rock double clutches and DOES his ROCK BOTTOM! Shane on the apron - Rock brings HIM in the hard way...but before he can unload on HIM, Bubba Ray ankles Rock and pulls him outside - right hand. Jericho back in - flying jalapeno for Shane, double leg takedown....Walls of Jericho! Shane taps...not that it'll help - Rhyno back in - GORE! GORE! GORE! T crawls over to Jericho and hooks a leg - OH MY GOD BOTH MEN ARE LEGAL - 1, 2, 3!! (5:02) Hey you know Bradshaw was never really in this match. Yeah, who cares. ONLY ME. The Alliance collects Shane and limps back up the ramp, while inside the ring the APA check on Jericho and Rock....stares at the Alliance team members.
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Inside is HARDCORE HOLLY - we haven't seen him lately, how's he doing? "What kind of question is that, Michael Cole? How have *I* been doing? Now it's obvious if you look at me, I'm in the best shape of my career. And the reason you haven't seen much of me lately is because, ya see it's real simple. The Alliance has not challenged Hardcore Holly. And if you remember correctly, Cole...I helped stop the Alliance from takin' over the WWF. Now, Hardcore Holly is not one to sit here and beg, no no. Hardcore Holly doesn't beg anyone for anything, but what I will do is I will tell any member of the Alliance, I will accept any challenge that they have. And Michael Cole, you know me pretty well. And they will quickly understand why they call me the Big Shot, and ....if I have to, I'll prove it all over again. Even if I have to go straight to hell and back, they will know why I'm the Big Shot." Wow, hearing Holly's promo brings to mind only one question: where the HECK is STEVE BLACKMAN?
Your hosts are MICHAEL KING COLE & TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. No episode of Tough Enough this week (watch the VMAs! They rescheduled SmackDown! so you could watch it!) but the first call is made for Tough Enough 2.
Back in the dressing room, Austin paces...and Debra watches. There's a knock at the door. "Come in!" It's van Dam. "You wanted to see me?" "Yeah I wanted to see ya! Your buddies in the Alliance told you what was going on, didn't they?" "Yeah, they--" "YEAH when you stepped through that door you were the man - you ARE the man. I can't WAIT for Unforgiven - no I can't. Tonight, your name is Kurt Angle. Thank you." "Okay, Stone Cold. But I'm not Kurt Angle - I'm Points - To - Self." Off he goes. Austin spikes his belt. "You hear that (beep)? He's Kurt Angle! He's Kurt Angle! He's Kurt Angle!" Austin rubs his head.
UP NEXT: Stone Cold vs. Kurt Angle - I mean, Rob van Dam!
The WWF Boot of the Week is brought to you by Lugz, and it's from RAW last night - Angle putting Austin into the water, with....well, no boots were involved, actually, but.....man I'm so tired
ROB VAN DAM (with Unforgiven is brought to you by Clearasil!) v. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN in a nontitle match - Austin foregoes the corner pose in favour of giving van Dam a bum's rush - right, right, right, right, right, right, van Dam trying the gutshot but no effect - Austni with a knee, knee, knee, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Austin points to himself! Austin with a knee on the back of van Dam's neck. van Dam put against a second turnbuckle - knee in the back - again - again - Austin cranking back on the neck with his knee in the back. "RVD" chant - it must CRUSH Herb Kunze to hear his fellow countrymen chanting about their veneral diseases! Stomp, stomp, stomp. Austin to his knees - blatant choke - referee "Blind" Nick Patrick having little success getting Austin to follow the rules. Austin picks him up - going for the Stunner prelude gutshot but van Dam catches the boot, steps over and hits a spinning heel kick to Austin's face! Austin comes in - van Dam ducks, right, kick, right, kick, elbow, elbow, elbow, kick, kick, elbow, Austin to the eyes. Knee in the back and van Dam runs into the turnbuckle. Austin with a knife-edge chop, chop, chop, right hand, into the opposite corner, van Dam gets the elbow up. van Dam vaults to the top...Austin shoves him OVER the corner into the barricade! "Holy shit!" chant. Give it a Clearasil Replay as Austin follows out, grabs the hair, and runs van Dam into the apron. Chop. Another hairpull - van Dam put over the barricade into the crowd - Austin follows. van Dam fires back - right, kick, right, overhead kick, right, spinning overhead kick that puts Austin back over the barricade! Kick by van Dam, head to the commentary table, knee, Austin rolled back in. van Dam follows - and Austin goes back outside. van Dam back out - Austin with a big-time clothesline. van Dam's head hits the ringpost. Austin points to himself again - Austin RULES - van Dam's head meets the STEEL steps. Austin stands on the neck. "Austin sux" chant. van Dam rolled back in, Austin follows, leg is hooked, 1, 2, van Dam kicks out. Austin puts van Dam on top - van Dam trying to pound on Austin's back - Austin to the eyes - chop, open-handed slap, right, climbing up, SUPERPLEX!! 1, 2, van Dam kicks out! Austin gives Patrick a quick "What?" and goes back to work. van Dam with a gutshot, right, left, right, right, right, right, into the opposite corner, but Austin hangs onto the ropes and the dropkick goes nowhere. Austin to the second rope for the...no, changed his mind and climbs back down - stomp. van Dam put on the second rope...for the big illegal choke. Austin rolls outside and pulls van Dam over the bottom rope. Austin pulls him outside - they walk to the ramp - going for a suplex but it's blocked - blocked again - van Dam with a suplex ONTO THE RAMP! van Dam swings, Austni ducks...Austin crotches him on the barricade - clothesline in the back. van Dam rolled back in - Austin after him - pulled into a short clothesline - leg is hooked - 1, 2, van Dam kicks out! Knee in the back, Austin hits the chinlock. "RVD!" van Dam fights back to his feet...elbow, elbow, elbow, uppercut, Austin with a right, right, van Dam right, Austin, van Dam, van Dam, van Dam, off the ropes but Austin tries the KICK again, van Dam shoves him off - dropkick!! van Dam off the ropes - superfluous cartwheel, backflip press MEETS THE KNEES....Austin rolls out...and grabs a chair. Don't tell me van Dam won't job to AUSTIN...Austin ready with the chair - van Dam with the spin kick into the chair - ohhhhh no the van Daminator! Crowd goes nuts. van Dam vaults to the top...Austin sweeps a foot to crotch him on top. Austin to the second rope - van Dam fighting the attempt - right, right, right, elbow, elbow, elbow shoves Austin out of the corner - Fivestar frog splash MISSES!!! Austin stands at the ready - KICK WHAM STUNNER - 1, but Austin unhooks the leg - rolls him over - ohhhh he wants the anklelock! But suddenly Angle's music plays, and his pyro goes off...Austin drops everything and looks to the entryway...van Dam up from behind with a schoolboy - 1, 2, 3! (10:08) Of course, they play ANGLE'S music...hey KURT ANGLE is out with another big smile for Austin...oh but we're desperately out of time - credits are up GOODBYE!
AFTER THE FACT: Hey Rick & CRZ,
Austin then made fun of the Canadians & sang the Star Spangled Banner. He then sang his greatest hits (I am the Champion & Kum-bye- ya) before he left with Taz. The crowd was totally into it & gave Austin a nice round for a great effort. Austin & Taz get to the top of the ramp...but SGT SLAUGHTER comes out & decks them both to a huge pop! Sarge leaves and Austin pretends like Taz's heart stopped...doing a mock CPR session on him. They then leave after showing the belt..just one more time!
Austin is a true great for putting over RVD regardless of whether it was on camera or not. The Taker could learn from him. I don't think there was ONE PERSON in that arena who wasn't behind RVD or chanting his name. Unbelievable. :)
JESUS! Undertaker put over FREAKIN' KRONIK, GOD DAMMIT! What more do you WANT from him?!
I mean, "thanks, Bill Quinn!" SMILEY FACE!!
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