I GET LETTERS: Scott Lewis was first: Jericho came out second. Thanks!

I also heard that the east coast got some unexpected Star Trek during the final Linda/Vince moments, as opposed to the unexpected Baywatch the west coast got during the opening minutes of the final segment. Hey, put the two shows together, you might get a complete final segment!

UPN - Thursday!

TV-PG-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!

LAST MONDAY: When Vince returns, belts change hands

Closed Captioned logo - Opening Credits are Beautiful, People!

PYRO AWAY and so are we - coming to you from the Civic Auditorium in Omaha, NE 25.10.1 (taped 23.10) and SAP transmitido en espanol on UPN and the Score - THIS is WWF SMACKDOWN!

Here come de money - SHANO leads out STEFFO & TEAM W/ECWO out to the ring and..boy, it's starting off with a bang. Austin STILL isn't around, apparently. Crowd chants either "asshole" or "RVD" depending on the post-production. "Last Monday night In This Very Ring, my mother - my own mother had the audacity to come out here and call me a wuss. Who does that (beep) think she's talkin' to? I am the owner of WCW! And let me ask you all a question - would a wuss, along with his sister, put everything up on the line at Survivor Series in one match to determine who will be the superior brand, will it be the Alliance - or will it be the World Wrestling Federation? Because in that one match, we'll determine who is in control - is it the Alliance or is it the WWF? And look at me, look at me, and when the Alliance is victorious at Survivor Series, then the WWF will have two choices: they will either be workin' for us...or just simply retire. But until Survivor Series, we will not allow the Alliance to be dismembered, you understand what I'm sayin'? No, because what happened last Monday night is absolutely inexcusible! Last Monday night, we did not lose one...not two...not three...but FOUR championships - the Alliance lost four championships to the WWF! Don't you understand this? We need momentum on our side - momentum on our side! One thing I have learned from my parents is the concept of tough love. So allow me to start this off real quick, and...let me start with you, Mr. Kidman. Please, come out of the back, step forward, step forward. Last Monday night, you lost the cruiserweight championship to Tajiri? What were you thinkin'? What were you thinkin'? You know what...why don't you think about this--" and he slaps him. Regal gets to stomping...and soon everyone joins in. "Get Kidman! I want everyone on him! Get a piece! Get a piece! Get a piece! That's what tough love's all about - throw him outta here - throw him out of here - I want him out of my ring - out, out, get outta here! Now THAT'S what tough love's all about, that's how--" but Chuck Palumbo takes the mic from Shane! "This isn't right - you don't treat people like this. We're trying to boost morale over here--" Stephanie takes the mic from HIM. "Who the hell do you think you are?! If it weren't for my brother, Chuck Palumbo, you wouldn't even be in the Alliance! What have you done with the opportunity my brother gave you? Nothing. As a matter of fact, Chuck, you are NOTHING. And since tonight is a night of action....YOU'RE FIRED. Oh I can't fire you? SHUT UP! Get the hell out of my ring! GET OUTTA HERE! YOU'RE FIRED! GET OUT! GET OUT! GO! GO!" And Chuck takes off. Back to Shane. "Now let's talk about the European championship. Hurricane, the hurrisignal is calling you front and center, if you will. Now you lost the European championship to Bradshaw of the APA? Let's see, to quote the Hurricane...wassupwidat? More importantly...wassup with this?" Shane goes to slap him, but Hurricane blocks it! So Regal clobbers him from the blindside. "Get on him! That's it! Alliance, get on him! That's it - outta the ring, I want him out of the ring now - see if the Hurricane can fly, let's see the superpowers now OH that was lovely. Now allow me to put attention on...the US Championship that was lost last Monday night. On, uh, I believe we all know who we're talking about. Rhyno, why don't you step forward. Come on up, big boy!" Rhyno removes his shirt and braces himself for attack. "Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa - hold on one second - hold on one second - you l- you lost the US Championship to Kurt Angle? You did that, and you - you know what, back it up, back it up, back it up, back off - back off, back off...hey hey, Rhyno, all I gotta say to you...is that you are absolutely pathetic. Do you understand me? It's pathetic that you lost! Pathetic that you lost to Kurt Angle! Pathetic! You disgust me, disgust me, so you know what? Rhyno, as of this moment forward, you are indefinitely suspended. Get outta my face. Get outta my face! Get outta my face! Get out. Goodbye, Rhyno - goodbye." Off he goes. Back to Steph: "Well now that THAT little piece of business is taken care of, allow me to introduce...the Dudley Boyz. Excuse me, Bubba Ray, D-Von, I know that you can here me...come here. Now everybody knows that I have no love for the Rock, but the person I hate most in the WWF is the WCW Champion, Chris Jericho. Now last Monday night, the two of you had an opportunity to take out not only the Rock but to take out Chris Jericho, and what did you two do? You LOST. Not only did you lose the match, but you lost the WWF tag team championships. And well, Dudley Boyz, my brother has only one thing to say about that..." "Alliance...get the Dudleyz!" One more beatdown and two more men exit the ring. The Dudleyz pull a table out from under the ring...but before they hit the ring *again*, the music hits - hey, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN is back. The crowd parts so Austin can take his first corner pose - there's two - three - why yes, he DOES hit all four corners. "Shut the damn music off! I want every sorry sum(beep) out of my ring! Now! Get out! You stay right there, Stephanie, stay right here. (to Regal) You don't move a single muscle. Get down off my ring. Thank you very much! What the hell is goin' on here? What do you think you're doing, Steph? Shane, what do you think you're doing? Taking care o' business. You guys got my troops fighting - I am the leader of the Alliance - you got these guys fighting? Why don't-ssh-- shut up! ...what? I said shut up. Going into Survivor Series - you better get off my back, son. What? Going into Survivor Series, I don't need anybody in the Alliance fighting. That's just not gonna happen. Hold on..." Austin listens to his watch. "You know what this watch is saying? This watch is saying 'It's time for Stone Cold Steve Austin to once again lead the Alliance to greatness!' That's what it said!" The men on the outside of the ring applaud. "I'm gone for one day - I successfully defend my title at No Mercy in a triple threat match - I'm gone for one day - and you guys lose four titles. You're pathetic! What we're gonna do tonight - what? ("what?") - is we're gonna take back what is ours. ("What?") Under my leadership, we are gonna take back what is ours. ("What?") We're gonna start with the WCW title which belongs to Y2J, Chris Jericho. I will go on record as saying if I didn't have these twelve staples in the back of my head, courtesy of Vince McMahon, that I would personally take that title back myself! But what we're gonna do is, I'm gonna look at these Alliance members, and ask you: who is the one to step forward and take on Chris Jericho?" Everybody raises their hand. "No - no - no no, NO! I'm no SHUT UP! What we're gonna do - we are gonna have an Alliance Battle Royal right here tonight! And the winner of that match will face Y2J TONIGHT for the WCW title. Now since...I can't officially make this match, I'm relying on your expertise and good judgment and authority to make this match official - will it be the Alliance battle royal, with the winner facing Y2J tonight?" "Most certainly, yes." "All right, ya little (beep), it's an Alliance battle royal, every man for himself, and whoever wins that battle royal better beat Chris Jericho's (beep), and that's the bottom line, because the World Wrestling Federation champion Stone Cold Steve Austin - what? - said so." Austin looks at his watch - it's telling him it's time to have this match - NEXT.

It might be just me, but it seems like Austin's watch is getting more over than, say, Haku - at least, it's getting more television time

Jakks Pacific's WWF RealSounds Arena playset ad

ALLIANCE OVER-THE-TOP-ROPE BATTLE ROYAL for a WCW title shot (joined in progress) - commentators say Kidman and Hurricane were already eliminated - hmmm. Hey, Steven Richards is still in the Alliance! That's him in the Tazzmission there. Richards goes over the top thanks to Tazz - D-Von dumps him right after. Chavo with a dropkick on Raven. Hey, Chavo's still in the Alliance! Scoop slam for Credible by Bubba Ray Dudley - Hugh Morrus goes up top and hits No Laughing Matter on Credible - and the Dudley Boyz give him 3D (Dudley Death Drop) for his efforts. Booker T tosses Credible. Morrus gets Test's Wotsitolla Boot to go over the top and out. Lance Storm with a dropkick on Tommy Dreamer - Booker T superkicks Storm. The Dudley Boyz are doubleteaming Rob van Dam. I count nine men remaining in the ring. Kanyon wants a superplex but Chavo pushes him off. There's a missile dropkick! van dam puts Guerrero into the ropes, reversed, Chavo charges...van Dam dumps him over the top but he lands on the apron...but van Dam kicks him to the floor. Test and Booker T jump on van Dam. The table is still at ringside, we notice. Mike Awesome and Tommy Dreamer going at it - ooh AWESOMEBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! Thanks for coming out, Tommy! Awesome wants another one on van Dam, but he gets free...superkick puts him over the top - baseball slide finishes the job. Bubba Ray clotheslines van Dam. We take a replay of the Awesomebomb through the table - and the replay takes the full screen instead of the "Double Feature" treatment - probably to mask some editing, 'cause when we come back we go right to Raven eliminating Lance Storm (or, as Cole calls him, "Justin Credible," who was eliminated about three minutes ago). Test works over Kanyon as T directs him. Test runs into a big boot - Kanyon up top, but Test buries a right hand in the gut as he flies off. Test with a Meltdown - and Kanyon's an easy toss. The Dudleyz talk strategy while T&T pair up - leaving Raven and van Dam to forge an uneasy alliance. But instead of any deals being made, they all pair up - van Dam with Booker T, Bubba Ray with Test and D-Von with Raven. Raven manages to upend D-Von, Booker T tosses Bubba Ray, Wotsitolla Boot puts Raven out, and just like that we're down to three. T and van Dam going at it, back and forth - whip into the corner - van Dam tries to go up and over but ends up with his legs on T's shoulders - so he dumps him on the apron...and Test runs in with one more Wotsitolla Boot to put HIM on the floor. Test points to himself!! But that allows Booker T to get up from behind and dump him. T gets the shot! (we saw 7:48) Test is a little miffed...but he knows that there are no friends in the Royal Rumble. T holds up six fingers and makes the "I want da belt" hand motion. T is SMOOTH. Post-match breakdancing!!!!! Test nods knowingly.

I GET LETTERS: The Cubs Fan astutely notes: I think the best part of Heyman randomly remembering that Awesome and Dreamer didn't get along eightneen months ago is that, when they temporarly unite, no one remembers that RVD and Raven didn't get along all of two months ago.

Wait! We're not done with this match: Mr. Sac writes:

I'd hafta say that Alliance battle royale on Smackdown! was a tad...... redundant. The exact same thing was done at the Wrestlemania IV battle royale! Observe:

African-American Smackdown Winner: Booker T.
African American Wrestlemania IV Winner: Bad News Brown

Canadian Last-to-be-Eliminated on Smackdown: Test
Canadian Last-to-be-Eliminated at Wrestlemania IV: Bret Hart

Smackdown Winner is From: Harlem, New York
Wrestlemania IV Winner is From: Harlem, New York

Booker T. Won When: He eliminated his current tag team partner
Bad News Brown Won When: He convinced Bret Hart he was his partner and then eliminated him

So ya see? History repeats itself! Now if only Booker was awarded a trophy and Test smashed it into pieces...

UP NEXT: Mighty Molly takes on Tremendous Trish!

Be a part of the attitude and the excitement! Saturday: Springfield! Sunday: Evansville! Monday: Louisville! Tuesday: Cincinnati!

It might be just me, but it seems like Austin's watch is getting more over than, say, Essa Rios - at least, it's getting more television time

Tazz hijacks ANOTHER truck of Stacker 2 - honestly, you think the law enforcement officials would notice a PATTERN by now

Wow, Omaha actually has a SKYLINE? Good for them!

Moments Ago!

TRISH STRATUS - THE FITNESS MODEL v. MIGHTY MOLLY - Stratus denies Molly her superhero pose by pulling her cape over her head and hitting a reverse Russian legsweep to trip her down. Molly runs at Trish...who puts her through the ropes to the floor. Trish with a baseball slide dropkick! Molly back up - shoulder through the ropes - back in - clotheslines her down. SWEET snap suplex. Elbowdrop. Another elbowdrop. Snapmares her over - rolling neck snap. Elbow. Stomp, stomp, into the ropes, head down - Trish manages the sunset flip but Molly rolls through, grabs the legs and hits the WOW catapult into the ropes! Give it a replay as Molly goes up top - Molly-go-round MISSES - Trish with a front kick, clothesline, clothesline, into the ropes, flapjack for 2. Molly shoves into the corner - Trish wants the monkey flip out but Molly hangs onto the ropes - then covers with two feet on the ropes - but Trish kicks out at 2! Molly shoves her facefirst into the mat. Into the ropes - going for a hiptoss, but Stratus manages a bodyscissors into a bulldog. That's her move, Schiavone! 1, 2, 3! (2:56)

Vince and Linda meet up in the Room of Fun. "Hi there!" "Hi! How ya doin'?" "Well, I've been better - you can plainly see what's going on with Stone Cold, Shane, Steph and the Commissioner." "Well, heh, I think the real issue is, are they trying to tear down the Alliance, or build it up?" "No, no, I assure you, they're coming after us with everything, everything, come in, everything they have - Chris Jericho!" "Vince, Linda, nice to see you." "How are you?" "I feel as - I feel good, I feel like a champion, like a double champion, I should say." "Congratulations, by the way, on winning the big one at No Mercy." "Thank you, thank you." "And ah, double congrats - WWF championship with the Rock - tag team!" "So much gold I can barely hold it all, I mean, man!" "You know, but there's an old expression, what have you done for me lately, you've heard that one? Tonight you're facing the five-time WCW Champion Booker T - to quote you, Chris: you have no alternative but to defeat Booker T; otherwise, for you, things may never, ever be the same agayne." "Now Vince, come on, when have I ever let you down?" "Oh no, you've let me down before." "Really." "Just don't do it tonight. And now I'm on my way to see the Rock. Excuse me." "By the way, Vince, tell the Rock that the CHAMP says hello."

"Mick Foley's Halloween Hijinx" ad

It might be just me, but it seems like Austin's watch is getting more over than, say, D'Lo Brown - at least, it's getting more television time

Good God - "Buffy: the Musical?" WHY?

Commentators also shill "Buffy"

Earlier Today! Mick Foley took a seat in Regal's office - he's brought the sign, he's brought the sarge (stuff dog), and he's brought a board game (Twister). Christian visits at this point - he was watching RAW (SOMEBODY WATCHES THE SHOW!) and he heard what Kurt Angle said about his beady little eyes (Foley reminds him he also said he was the world's ugliest pretty boy. Christian "Shut up!" Regal: "Pillock.") - and he wants a US title shot. Regal grants his wish. "Thank you, Commissioner. I'm glad SOMEBODY in here's not a complete joke." Foley: "You know, I think he just insulted you!"

Tazz: "You know, I never got a chance to thank you. Thank you, Nidia! Thank you for costing me my match against Maven, last week. Your little buddy Maven! Ya helped him out. And you know what? Even though you're the first-ever women's Tough Enough champion, that's all great - but guess what? I'm gonna bust your bubble now. You ain't got what it takes to make it here! You ain't got what it takes to be in the big-time, sweetheart! So you better--" Al Snow: "Well, well, well, what do we have here. Let me guess! Tazz bullying Nidia. Just like Tazz bullied Maven. Just like Tazz bullied everybody on Tough Enough. I've been waiting for this a long time. Tonight, when we get in that ring, I DARE you to bully me. I dare you to try and do anything you think you can to me. But don't you EVER, ever screw with my kids again." "Well you know what, Al - I'm very aware that you're everybody's favourite father figure, and I'm gonna take your advice. I'm gonna bully you in that ring, and I'm gonna bust you up in that ring, and I'm gonna ENJOY it." Nidia: "..."

Meanwhile, Rock paces about, for Vince is on his way! "Rock! Hey, you look great, how you doin', man? It's good to see ya!" Rock doesn't take the offered handshake. "The Rock is doin' well." "Yeah?" "How are you?" "I'm doin' great. I'm doin' terrific. But...I came to you tonight to ask you for a favour. You might say it's a personal favour." "What's that?" "Well, tonight, I want you to reach into the chest - I want you to reach right into the chest cavity of the Alliance, and I want you to rrrrrrrrrrrrrip their heart right out. That's what I want you to do tonight, Rock. You know how I want you to do that? By beating RVD. You see, last Monday night I asked RVD to join the World Wrestling Federation - he flatly refused. I told him he was either with us or against us. So what about it? The Rock vs. RVD for the WWF Hardcore title - tonight." "The Rock and RVD, hardcore title. Electrifying, no dobut." "It'd mean a great deal to me, Rock." "....it's on. No question. "Yeah. Good. Thanks a lot." "No problem at all. Excuse me - one second. Before you leave, though, Vince, let the Rock ask you a quick question." "Sure!" "You really think that winning the hardcore title would mean that much to you? Is that what you think?" "Absolutely." "Tell you what - the Rock is really embarrassed about saying this in public, but uh..." he leans in. "The Rock wipes a monkey's (beep) with what you think. You see, tonight, the Rock's gonna go out there, face RVD for the hardcore title, and electrify as only the Rock can. But the Rock isn't gonna do it for you...the Rock is gonna do it for the People. The People." "Thank you. Thank you." "You're welcome. 'bye."

It might be just me, but it seems like Austin's watch is getting more over than, say, Billy Gunn - at least, it's getting more television time

RealSounds Arena ad #2

Look at WWF.com!

WCW U.S. TITLE: CHRISTIAN (with TV-PG-DLV ratings box and "I Want Da Belt" hand motion) v. KURT ANGLE (with SAP transmitido en espanol) - hey, when did Angle's website address lose the "WWF?" Christian tries to get the jump but Angle ducks the clothesline - Angle right, both right, Angle right, right, shoulders into the corner, right, right, chop, chop, chop - referee "Blind" Brian Hebner wants it out of the corner and Angle takes offense - Christian turns it around when he moves back in - right, right, right, kick, kick, right - pulls him out but Angle reverses into a fireman's carry takeover and GRABS THE ANKLE!! Christian grabs the bottom rope real quicklike and rolls outside after the break. Christian pulls Angle out after him - right, right, Angle right, right, head to the barricade, opening him up for the BIG chop. Angle rolls back in...and out. Christian's head meets the STEEL steps. Right hand by Angle. Another windup..and big chop. Hebner's at 4 - Christian's back in - and punching Angle in the back as he attempts to follow - right, right, right, right, Angle still on his knees - right, Angle back up and fighting back - right, right, right, into the ropes, big back body drop. Chop in the corner, right, right, pulled into the opposite corner - boot up by Christian, though, and he's leaping fromt he second rope - Angle catches him and throws him overhead in a belly-to-belly for 2! Angle grabs a waistlock - Christian grabs the official, making sure he's too busy trying to get away to notice his trick knee acting up. Christian with his trademark backbreaker - but only gets 1. Christian with a right, right, right - stomp, stomp, standing on the neck. Tonight, the Dudley Boyz get a shot at the WCW tag champs the Hardy Boyz! Angle manages to pop up - must be the "USA" chant - right, right, right, off the ropes...but into a powerslam by Christian. 1, 2, no! Angle comes back - right, right, into the ropes, reversed, Christian grabs the sleeper. Angle turns in and powers out - Christian into the ropes and Angle grabs HIM in the sleeper! Christian out with a jawbreaker. Nice dropkick. Christian again gets 2. Christian moves to the headlock. Angle's mouth is bleeding - what, is Christian Rob van Dam or something? (Speaking of which, he takes on the Rock later tonight.) Angle manages to fight his way to a takeover to break the hold - onto to have Christian run him into the post. Feet on the ropes! 1, 2, Angle kicks out!! Christian may be taking too long arguing the count - Angle up - right, right, kick front face...Christian backs up to the ropes to prevent a DDT (I guess) - so Angle releases him - right, chop, Christian ducks the next right but Angle clotheslines him on the rebound. Clothesline. Into the corner - misses the charge...but bowls out and - WHOA! Instead of a spinebuster, Angle turns Christian COMPLETELY around on the slam - 1, 2, NO! Was that really cool or a mistake? Angle with a German suplex - hanging on for two but he can't get it - Christian lands on his feet. Angle catches Christian in a waistlock but Christian avoids the belly-to-belly as well with elbows to the head. Angle ducks an elbow and has him in Olympic Slam position - Christian counters THAT and tries the Tomokaze - Angle shoves him into the ropes instead - Christian goes behind again - Angle drops down and rolls him into the ANGLELOCK!! Christian's got nowhere to run - he has to tap! (5:16)

Debra and Austin and Booker T: "Did you see that? Kurt Angle making an Alliance member (Christian) tap out? It makes me sick! I take one day off, Booker, one day - and the whole Alliance goes downhill! Look at me. Now what you did in that battle royal, you led by example - you took advantage of a situation - BAM! You're goin' to face Y2J. You know, hold it, hold it. You know what? You know what my watch is saying? It's saying 'it's time for Booker T to become the six-time WCW Champion. Can you dig it?" "YES!" "Do you understand what I'm saying?" "I understand." "Don't sit back on your heels, you go out there and whip that man's (beep) I've been waiting - hold it, you know what my watch is sayin' now?" "What's that?" "It's saying it's time for someone to step forward and be a real son of a (beep) - someone needs to step forward and raise some hell and I say that man's you." "It is me." "Well go out there and you bring back that championship for the Alliance." "Six time." "Damn right." "WCW Champion. I can dig that!"

WWF Magazine ad - it's all about Stephanie

It might be just me, but it seems like Austin's watch is getting more over than, say, Bull Buchanan - at least, it's getting more television time

Catch the WWF live! Saturday: Bossier City! Sunday: Lexington! Monday: Louisville! Tuesday: Cincinnati! Exclamation points are hot!

WCW CHAMPIONSHIP: NAPPY T (with SmackDown! is brought to you by Subway, Whacko Tobacco, and Clearasil!) v. CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO - is it just me, or is that Chad Patton wearing the WCW ref shirt? OH MY GOD - CHAD PATTON HAS JUMPED TO THE ALLIANCE AND THE BALANCE OF POWER HAS SHIFTED AND SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT CAN NEVER BE THE SAME or maybe I'm just not supposed to notice stuff like that. On the other hand, it all starts with the little things.....oh well, let's watch this match. Lockup, side headlock by T - chain wrestling to the hammerlock - Jericho elbow, elbows out - off the ropes, shoulderblock - running the ropes, up and over, T leapfrog, crossbody by Jericho, right, right, chop, chop, chop, into the ropes, head down, T with a kick - Harlem sidekick MISSES and T straddles the ropes. Jericho with a springboard dropkick to put him on the floor - and Jericho is out after him. T meets the commentary table. Whip into the barricade. Jericho runs at him - but T grabs him and drops him on the barricade. T runs Jericho into the post crotch first. The count is on - T rolls back at out 4 and rolls Jericho back in by 6. T pulls Jericho up - blocked, right by Jericho, chop, chop, off the ropes, but runs into a spin kick on the jaw from T. 1, 2, Jericho kicks out. T gets him in the corner - right hand, look at my hand chop, chop, chop. Into the ropes, Jericho ducks the clothesline, dueling flying jalapenos and they BOTH hit - and both men go down. Both men up at 3 - clothesline ducked by Jericho, chop, chop, into the ropes is reversed, but Jericho hits the elbow. Shoulderblock off the ropes - off the ropes again - T ducks but runs into a hiptoss. Jericho going for the Lionsault, but misses and lands on his feet - T misses a clothesline but catches Jericho in a flapjack off the ropes - then breakdances back to his feet (the CLASSIC T)! - going for the Book End but Jericho spins it into a Northern Lights suplex with bridge!! 1, 2, T kicks out! Harlem sidekick is ducked - Jericho with a double leg - trying to step over for the Walls but T grabs the leg and doesn't turn over - so Jericho drops into the WOW catapult (wow, T got almost THREE INCHES off the ground there!) Bulldog! Jericho going again for the Lionsault - but it meets the knees! Jericho runs at T...but ends up in a whiplash spinebuster SWEET ALABAMA SLAMMA 1, 2, NO!!! T can't believe he kicked out. Right, right, going for a death suplex but Jericho backflips out - waistlock, rollup - bridges back - 1, 2, 3 - I smell editing! (4:36) T looks around in disbelief as if to say "this is the WWF, right? Wasn't he supposed to hit a finisher before he pinned me?" Yep, that's definitely Chad Patton - I wonder if he'll stay in the WCW or just switch shirts as is needed. (You know, if YOU weren't bitching about WWF referees in WCW title matches, maybe you wouldn't have to be worrying so much NOW.)

Foley reacts with glee at Jericho's victory. Regal says the Alliance will reign supreme at Survivor Series, though. Foley hits the "DDP taught me yoga" pose on the Twister mat (yikes) and tells us Al Snow and Tazz is next!

TONIGHT: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz - AGAIN!

It might be just me, but it seems like Austin's watch is getting more over than, say, Steve Blackman - at least, it's getting more television time

Greyhound and their creepy talking dogs present the WWF Overdrive of the Night! From RAW, Kane chokeslams Diamond Dallas Page

TAZZZZZZZZZZZ (with Excess airs at a special time Saturday - 8/7! Holy cats, Excess is still on the air?) v. AL SNOW - Tazz strikes as soon as Snow hits the ring with a forearm in the back - forearm, forearm, open-handed slap, slap, Snow reverses positions in the corner, slap, slap, slap, elbow, elbow, front kick, other foot kick - going for the roundhouse kick but Tazz catches the leg and hits a high fisherman release Tazzplex. Tazz over the back - forearm across the face, forearm, forearm, forearm. Snow comes back - kick, right, right, right - Tazz with a T-bone Tazzplex. Kick, kick, kick. Snow into the opposite corner - he slides out, ducks a clothesline and lands a right. Snow with the dropkick! Scoop - and a slam - Snow mounts Tazz -right, right, right, right, right, right...right, right, right, right, right, right. Snow climbs the corner - moonsault coming up - but he hits the knees! Tazz lying in wait...Tazzmission - but Snow blocks it, preventing Tazz from locking his fingers! Snow tosses him over his shoulder - let's call that a sitout uranage - 1, 2, 3! Snow wins! (1:53) No, we never saw Nidia this entire time.

Linda, the camera's on you....Linda? Okay, thanks. Vince and Linda are all "good for Al." There's a knock at the door - it's Sergeant Slaughter. Shane sent him to convey a message: he'd like to meet Vince out in the parking lot for a street fight. "Is that right.....I've been looking forward to this since WrestleMania." "Vince, Vince, please don't go, don't do this, please." "No no, I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna end this once and for all, come on, let's go. You just stay right here. Sit right there. I'll be right back, this won't take long."

It might be just me, but it seems like Austin's watch is getting more over than, say, Val Venis - at least, it's getting more television time

And now, the WWF presents the Xbox Slam of the Week! From No Mercy, Edge delivers a one man Conchairto to Christian - then takes back the intercontinental championship.

The graphic don't lie: on Heat, Edge defends the intercontinental championship against Test!

Jericho pays a visit to Rock, and sharpens his sarcasm. "Hey, Rock! Just thought I'd come see how my partner's doing and see if you're ready for your big match with RVD tonight." "Well you're partner's doing very well. Thank you. And speaking of big matches, congratulations. The Rock saw your match earlier on. Ya finally won another big one. Good job, that's fantastic." "Thanks." "Great." "Actually, that's why I came, I wanted to make sure that since I did my part for the WWF, that you make sure to do your part for the WWF, Rock, I mean think about it, you have a chance tonight to take back the illustrious, the prestigious, hardcore championship from RVD and the Alliance, and bring it back home to the WWF. I mean, think about it, it's a pretty big deal, I mean, even though you might not ever become the...WCW Champion ever again, you can become the hardcore champion, and like your partner Y2J, you too can become a DOUBLE CHAMPION." "Double champion. (clears throat) You know what...Chris?" "What...The Rock?" "A couple of things - number one, as far as for the Rock doing his part for the WWF (clears throat) the Rock will always, ALWAYS, do his part for the WWF. Always. Number two: you should know a thing or two about hardcore matches. You're pretty hardcore yourself. You got your tough black tape...you got your sideburns happening...and above all else, you know how to win matches using chairs. Isn't that right.....champ?" Man, Rock's such a WHINER

Slaughter and Vince are outside. "Hey Shane! Hey tough guy! Hey hey, come on! Hey wuss! Hey tough guy! Come on Shano! Let's do it! Huh? You guys seen Shane?" Nobody's seen him. "Come on Shano! Where the hell was he? Yeah? He's here. I can smell him. He's here. I got all night, Shane! I'm not goin' anywhere! I got ALL night! Come on out!"

Meanwhile, Linda paces...right into Shane. Ohhhhhhhhhhh! "Surprise, Mom - what, did you think I was out in the parking lot kickin' the crap outta Dad - your husband - in the street fight, nonono that's not gonna happen tonight...that's gonna happen this coming Monday, that's what's gonna happen. And Mom, you wanna call me a wuss? Oh, what's the matter? Huh? You wanna call me a wuss to my face?" He grabs her arm. "You wanna call me a wuss to my face?" "Oh, Shane - Shane you're hurting me, you're hurting my arm..." "Oh, who's the wuss now, Mom? Who's the wuss now? Who's the wuss now?" "You are hurting me." "Huh? Huh? Oh that's just too bad. Who's the wuss now?" "Let go - let go of my - LET GO!" and she slaps him. All three...at least make the attempt to express surprise in the best way that they can. "You wanna slap me in the face? You know what that feels like, to be slapped in the face? You know what, you're just about to find out what that feels like to get slapped in the face!" Shane grabs her and holds her arms back, arching her back to thrust out her ample bosoms...oh, wait...and Stephanie slaps HER one...Shane adds a shove into the sofa for added effect. "THAT'S what it feels like to get slapped in the face!" Stephanie says something about that's what Shane'll do to Dad on Monday. "Wuss." Off they walk, leaving her laying...

It might be just me, but it seems like Austin's watch is getting more over than, say, Crash - at least, it's getting more television time

This guy takes over at least two trucks of Stacker 2 a week...and he STILL has to take Trish Stratus and his friends to this store to buy more? KAMMAWWWWN

RealSounds Arena #3

Moments Ago! They acted so nice, we had to view it twice - that Linda's a real hottie, yo

During the Break! Shane and Stephanie boarded the limousine and drove off...was that a different limo than the one Vince was standing in front of? 'cause...Vince ain't here

Back to Linda - oh, THERE'S Vince - he and Slaughter are back. "Linda! What happened, Linda? What happened, SargeandIwereintheparkinglotwaitingforShane, somebodysaidShaneandStephaniecameinhere--" "I - I - I don't know what happened, Sh- Shane and Stephanie did come in here and....well, they were here for a minute, I - th- they were here for a minute." "What happened to your face?" "It, it's....they're gone - th- they're gone." "What happened to your face?" "Well...s- they- they were upset, and...well, Shane grabbed me and - and he held me, and then...and then Stephanie slapped me." She breaks down (hey, wood can't cry!) and Vince makes faces. "Will you - will you take Linda to the car, please." "Sure." "No, it's okay - I'm fine - it's okay, no I'm - I'm really fine, honestly, I'm fine." Vince.......well, I guess the charitable analyst would say "Vince's eyes slowly catch fire...and BURN" but...well...

WCW TAG TEAM TITLE: DUDLEY BOYZ (with Stacy Dudley - and Survivor Series is brought to you by X-Pac - I mean, Xbox!) v. HARDY BOYZ (with Lita) - D-Von and Matt lock up - side headlock by Dudley - to the ropes, powering out - shoulderblock by Hardy - off the ropes, up and over, leapfrog by Dudley, dropping down to try the monkey flip - Hardy stops and hits a fistdrop. Dudley manages a knee - and tags in Bubba Ray - open shot, right, head to the adjacent corner, right, into the opposite corner, elbow up by Hardy, second rope clothesline! Jeff is in - into the ropes, double backdrop. Kick by Jeff, kick, kick, into the opposite corner is reversed, Jeff goes up and onto the shoulder, and hits a headscissors takeover down. Bubba Ray staggers into a Matt right hand. Tag to Matt. We stare at Stacy for a while. Matt with a right - into the ropes is reversed, and D-Von lowers the boom to put him outside. D-Von with a right, rolled back in for Bubba Ray - scoop - and a slam - "headbutt to the graun" spot. Bubba Ray poses to the crowd - and gets the expected boos. Right hand on Matt by D-Von. Stomp. Tag to Bubba Ray - Matt put into the ropes - Dudleyz with a double flapjack. Right hand by Bubba Ray - quick tag. D-Von loads up Matt for the Dudley Device...but Matt backflips out...and shoves D-Von into a headbutt to Bubba Ray's graun! Clothesline for D-Von, Matt runs to the corner and tosses Bubba Ray off the second rope over his shoulder! Both men are down. Pippi Longstockings - sorry, Jeff, awaits a tag - and gets it! Top rope split-legged dropkick! Wow, Cole's said "(x) is/are rolling" a lot tonight. Clothesline for Bubba Ray, clothesline for D-Von, off the ropes with a splash for Bubba Ray, D-Von gets a forearm smash, speaking in tongues double legdrop for Bubba Ray. D-Von fires back with a right - into the corner - Jeff staristeps to the top and hits the corkscrew moonsault on D-Von - 1, 2, Bubba Ray JUST saves! Matt's back - Bubba Ray put into the corner, Poetry in Motion! Matt with a sitout clothesline on Bubba Ray, Jeff with a dropkick to put him out. D-Von put in a corner - HE gets Poetry in Motion! Gutshot, Matt's ready - Twist of Fate! ...but Stacy is on the apron and wigglin' her ass. Matt gets a full view - Bubba Ray shoves Matt into the ropes, crotching Jeff before he can get off the swantonbomb attempt. Lita is over to pull Stacy off the apron - slap - Bubba Ray tries to pull her up and HE gets a slap - meanwhile, D-Von has climbed the corner to grab Jeff, they fall forward into a neckbreaker from Bubba Ray - that's a Super Dudley Death Drop - D-Von covers - 1, 2, 3. Ladies and gentlemen, we have new WCW tag team champions - the former WWF tag team champions. How 'bout that. (4:23) Paul is quick to tell us that the Dudleyz are the first team to win the ECW, WWF and WCW tag team championships...which isn't as big a deal as the Road Warriors winning four different world titles, but they're not on my screen right now. We take a replay - and STILL manage to avoid having a camera angle that would take us past TV-PG. Lita seems puzzled that Matt would actually get distracted by some other woman's ass, see, 'cause SHE knows he doesn't really LIKE girls....what?

UP NEXT: Rob van Dam vs. the Rock for the hardcore championship!

WrestleMania! WrestleMania! Tickets go on sale in just nine days! WrestleMania!

It might be just me, but it seems like Austin's watch is getting more over than, say, Perry Saturn - at least, it's getting more television time

And now, the WWF Boot of the Week, brought to you by Lugz! From RAW, van Dam manages to defeat Big Show to retain the hardcore title

WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: ROB VAN DAM v. THE ROCK - We take a good twenty or thirty seconds waiting out a "Rock E" chant before first contact. Here we go: lockup, side headlock by the Rock...chain wrestling to a hammerlock, reversal by van Dam to a side headlock of his own - Rock powers out - shoulderblock by van Dam. Off the ropes, up and over, leapfrog by the Rock (okay, we've seen this THREE times tonight), Rock with a belly-to-belly throw. van Dam goes to the corner - right by Rock, right, whip into the opposite corner, reversed, van Dam with a superfluous somersault and monkey flip out. van Dam with a leg sweep as Rock gets up - off the ropes with the Rolling Thunder senton - and gets 2. Boot to the head, stomp, forearm, into the ropes, reversed by Rock, head down, van Dam kicks. van Dam off the ropes - Rock steps aside and tosses him over the top to the outside. Rock is out after him. Cole: "The Rock is a class act - no whining, no complaining after losing the WCW title at No Mercy, giving Y2J his due..." Cole, are you NUTS? He's brought up the damn chair EVERY CHANCE HE'S HAD. He's a WHINER. WHINY ROCK WHO IS A WHINER, I should be calling him. Anyway, Rock (who is a whiner) walks van Dam over to the barricade - but it's van Dam with the body shot - right, right, Rock with a face rake - and into the barricade. van Dam crawls up the ramp - Rock decides to help him up - right is blocked, van Dam with a right - right - right they're up to the stage now - gutshot by van Dam, elbow, elbow, whip is reversed into a short clothesline by the Rock! Rock takes a trip to the other side of the stage - builds up a head of steam - and runs into a heel kick from van Dam! van Dam with a tumbling run splash on the stage - may have hurt him just as much as the Rock. van Dam manages a cover - 1, 2, no! Give it a Replay. van Dam with a kick in the back. Crowd with a "Rock E" chant. Rock with a gutshot - facefirst into the STEEL! van Dam starts rolling down the ramp - Rock catches him - got him by the hair - knee in the gut - knee - back into the barricade - they're out at ringside again - Rock finds a chair - ROCK FINDS A CHAIR?!? AFTER ALL THAT WHINING ABOUT JERICHO ROCK GOES FOR A CHAIR? Oh, but it's LEGAL in this match - so Rock's NOT a WHINY WHINER, right? van Dam runs up with a kick before Rock can swing - forearm to the face. Rock SHOT into the ringpost - Rock bounces off into the timekeeper's area, generally causing chaos. van Dam throws some more weaponry in the ring and returns to Rock - kick, kick, right. van Dam wants one more garbage can - oops, took too long. Forearm in the back by the Rock - right - rolled into the ring...Rock follows. Rock with a right. Into the corner is reversed, van Dam with a textbook dropkick to the face. van Dam grabs a chair - running start - running dropkick to the chair to the face!! 1, 2, Rock kicks out! van Dam stomps. Garbage can set up in the corner - back to Rock, gutshot, whip - reversal - reversed back to the first corner - and Rock follows up with a clothesline! Rock sees the garbage can - and pulls it out of the corner - back to van Dam - who gets the boot up. van Dam vaults to the top - no, Rock pulls him off and ONTO THE CAN! 1, 2, van Dam kicks out (oh COME ON)! Give THAT a replay. Rock is the first man up - right hand. Scoop...van Dam back to his feet - Rock catches a kick - ducks an enzuigiri - and locks in a Sharpshooter!! van Dam reaches for the ropes - but Rock pulls him back!! Crowd is loud. Well lookee here - SHANO out from the crowd, pulling referee "Blind" Earl Hebner out of the ring, clothesline to Rock's back...and DDT. Shane starts...bouncing. van Dam directed to the top - Fivestar frog splash HITS! Shane shoves Hebner back into the ring - van Dam is still recovering - FINALLY covers and hooks a leg - 1, 2, NO!! Shane comes back in to argue the count. Well, BILLIONAIRE VINCE is out - Shane leaps over the barricade and runs out - Vince follows - they're over the tech table! - and now we're looking back to the ring. van Dam has a chair - here, catch this - van Daminator DUCKED - Rock with a gutshot - and DDT on the chair! Hey Rock, you didn't like it when CHRIS JERICHO used the Stroke on a chair to YOU...whiner. Rock labours to cover van Dam and grab a leg - 1, 2, kickout. van Dam never gets pinned, folks. TEST TEST THIS IS A RUN-IN - gutshot - Meltdown - waiting for Rock to get up to throw the....no, CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO out - bulldog on Test, and clotheslining him out! Now NAPPY T is out - Harlem sidekick *obliterates* Jericho and puts him outside. Rock is up! Right, right, right, right, right, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT and T is out of the ring - van Dam from behind with a gutshot, elbow, elbow, into the ropes, reversed, spinebuster by the Rock....oh boy....Rock positions him...elbowdrop removed - off the ropes - T HOOKS THE ANKLE! Rock gets up from the trip - T brains him with a trashcan - van Dam with an inside cradle - 1, 2, 3. (11:09) Sure, van Dam pinned Big Show and Rock this week - but it's okay, 'cause Austin pinned HIM at the pay-per-view. Pfffffff. T&T, who had been working over Jericho on the outside, bring Jericho in and divvy up against Rock and Jericho. Amazingly, NOBODY comes out to save these guys. Play Booker T's music! Here's a replay of how Rock lost. And of course, the last thing we hear...is Cole shilling a McMahon/McMahon Street Fight on Monday. THIS will bring the ratings? I don't know...maybe it would be better if they could somehow insert Austin's watch into the main event...

CRZ
[slash] wrestling