KINGS UPDATE: Rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'... (49-18)
UPN - Thursday! Say, when the roster of this show changes, will they
FINALLY change this bumper?
TV-PG-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Let Us Take You Back to RAW...and a "Hogan" chant
Opening Credits are Beautiful, People!
Hit the pyro, we're off once again - coming to you from the Corel Centre in Ottawa, ON 21.3.2 (taped Aaron's Birthday) and SAP transmitido en espanol on UPN and the Score - is it REALLY in Spanish up there? - THIS is WWF SMACKDOWN!
TONIGHT: The Rock takes on Kevin Nash! I am experiencing FEAR!
But first...KURT ANGLE (who no longer has a website, I guess) joins the commentators as We Are Taken Back to RAW when Kane did a spot of run-in to effect Edge scoring a pinfall on Our Olympic Hero. Angle wastes no time calling Cole "pal."
BOOKER TIO v. KING EDGE (with Forceable Entry CD cover - available next Tuesday!) - Angle is out to support his homie, whom he's down with - "What up, dog!" - and not at all to extract any kind of revenge against the man who pinned him on Monday. He used to hang with Edge, but now he hangs with Booker T. Lockup, T with the knee, overhand forearm, chop, right, chop, right, chop, words for referee "Blind" Teddy Long - whip is reversed - T gets the boots up but Edge slides under him, then ankles him to the mat. Quickly to the top - flying clothesline gets Edge 2. T comes right back - right hand, into the ropes is reversed and Edge hits a backbreaker - 1, 2, no. Angle is convinced he'll be the #1 pick from Vince McMahon on Monday. Edge with a right, into the ropes, clothesline. Cover, 2. Into the ropes is reversed into a back elbow from T. Clothesline. "All right Booker T - oh, y'all gonna make me lose my mind up in here, up in here!" T right, right, right, kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Snapmares him over - to the headlock. Coming up tonight, the Rock and Kevin Nash - also, the tag team titles are on the line as Billy & Chuck take on the Hardy Boyz! Edge back to his feet - elbow, elbow, T with a forearm in the back. Into the corner is reversed but T gets the elbow up...but then runs into a big flapjack. Edge with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," again, AGAIN, and an atomic drop. Angle proclaims T "the coolest...dude...I have ever met." Clothesline off the ropes. Edge takes him down again. Into the ropes, head down, T kicks. "Oh - who let the dogs out?" Edge comes back with his half nelson faceplant. Edge goes up top - but Angle leaves his headset to try to stop him - Edge kicks him to the floor - then dives from the top onto Angle! Edge back in - ducks a swing but takes a kick in the gut - T misses the axe kick, and Edge hits the Edge-o-matic - 1, 2, NO! Edge waits for him to get up - gutshot - T escapes the Edgecution attempt, tries a roundhouse kick but Edge ducks - and Long takes it! Edge off the ropes with the spear...hooks the leg but Long is down. *Angle* back in - clothesline, Olympic Slam, steps outside as T recovers and hits the axe kick - Long is back up - 1, 2, 3. (4:30) All that we needed there was for Angle to say is "sweet sassy molassy!" T hits a post-match breakdance for our benefit. Here's a replay of the Olympic Slam - and Angle admiring T's axe kick.
Hulk Hogan is WALKING! Listening to the soundtrack, does anyone else find themselves eeriely reminded of those canned "Rocky" chants from just over five years back that started Rocky Maivia's theme? Anyway, we're fortunate enough to see Vince McMahon happening to run into him. Set your receptors to ACTING! Hogan removes his sunglasses. Vince checks him out. "Well I'll be damned - why it's the Hulkster. It's the icon! It's the Immortal Hulk Hogan! By the way, pal - just for the record, just for the record, I invented sports entertainment, and just for the record, I made YOU. I don't wanna talk about the past but, uh - litsen, every time you go into business for yourself, you fall flat...right on your red and yellow (ass) - so, you and turnin' your back on this NWO stuff? That's not cool...brother. But you know me - I'm willing to let bygones be bygones. I hold in the palm o' my hand the #1 draft choice this Monday and I gotta know - I wanta know...if YOU, Hulk Hogan - I wanna know if you wanna be my #1 draft choice. ... I don't need an answer tonight - I want you to think about it. I want you to think about what it would be like - Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan working together - you taking - you taking...direction from me, and not going into business on your own. I'll tell you what I'll do. You take the night off...think about it - how's that?" "You know, if it's all the same to you inVinceible, I *will* think about it. But I also think I'll hang around." Off he goes - leaving Vince to make a "hmmm" face.
Booker T shills fried chicken
Catch the WWF live! Monday is RAW at Penn State! Tuesday in Philadelphia is SOLD OUT! Wednesday is Wilkes Barre and Thursday is E. Rutherford (and not SmackDown! - confused yet?)
The APA play cards and display their impressive array of Molson Export cans - Faarooq's got a straight flush so Bradshaw owes him five bucks - unfortunately, Bradshaw's tapped out....but Willie's happened by so he asks him to spot him "a fiver, as they say in the Queen's country." "A fiver. So that you can take it to the local strip show and stick it down the knickers of some lowly tart." "Yeah, exactly!" "The APA - d'ya know, I'm really going to miss your wonderful repartee." "Man, what the hell are you talkin' about?" "You know about the draught, don't you?" "The draft? Oh we've already been drafted. Oh, I was drafted by the Cleveland Browns." "And me by the LA Raiders - we also like draft beer cold, alcohol." "Yes, how delightful. No, I mean the draught on Monday, I mean. Let's face it - you, my dear Bradshaw - you could be draughted by Mr. McMahon, and you, my dear Faarooq - you could be draughted by Mr. Flair so technically, that would mean the APA would be...out of business." "Damn, man - he's right." "You know, he is right - but the good news is if Faarooq were picked by one show, and I was picked to be on the other show, then one of us would be on the same show as you...so, technically, the APA could continue pickin' your royal (ass)!" They yuk it up. "How charming. Good day, gentlemen." They goad him into using the door. We follow Regal into a chance encounter with he - DDP. He wants to know why Regal keeps pointing out all the bad things that could happen as a result of this draft? Page reminds him that he lost the intercontinental championship in front of (gets the number wrong) at WrestleMania. "My dear fellow - perhaps I'm mad because a grinning bloody idiot like you holds the European championship - a title that I once held with honour. So I tell you what - why don't you put your European championship on the line against me tonight, and I can get out some of this aggression and anger that's making me so bloody mad sunshine!" "GREAT! SU-per! MARVelous! That way, once *I* beat YOU, you'll forget all about losing the intercontinental championship - and Regal, that's not a bad thing - that's a good thing!" Regal makes some faces.
Cut to Nash - and Hall for a pep talk. "Big Kev - your SmackDown! debut tonight. Nash - Rock. I'm so sick of that punk, that smirky smile - he tells everybody Just Bring It? Why don't you bring seven foot, three-thirty down to the ring and show him who the Great One is." "You're right! You're right, I will bring it. I'll do what Hogan couldn't do at WrestleMania - tonight, I'll kick the Rock's (ass)."
"Before They Were Stars" and "Royal Rumble" video/DVD ad
Tough Enough 2 ad
LITA (with Forceable Entry CD cover) and TRISH STRATUS - THE FITNESS MODEL (with SmackDown! is brought to you by Quaker State, adidas Climacool, and truth!) v. IVORY and JAZZZZZZZ - Trish and Ivory start - lockup, side headlock by Ivory...Trish tries to elbow out but Ivory keeps it locked in - arm wringer, another turn, pounds the arm, to a hammerlock - Trish's elbow DOES break the hold. Ivory with a kick, forearm in the back, forearm, forearm, into the ropes, Trish with a kick - schoolboy gets 2. Ivory with a clothesline. Stomp. Stomp. Field goal kick. Head to the buckle. Shoulder in the gut, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder, knee, right hand, into the opposite corner but Trish climbs to the second floor - springs off with a crossbody for 2 - Jazz saves. Ivory with a stomp. Scoop - spin - and slam. Tag to Jazz. Off the ropes with a big legdrop - 1, 2, no. Left, left, left, kisses the right (!) and lands it - free shot for Lita to keep HER involved with referee "Blind" Chad Patton while Ivory comes in - wow, double half crab!! Jazz still in control - chop, chop, kick, kick, into the opposite corner, running splash - nobody home! Lita starts the rhythmic clapping - and gets the hot tag! Clothesline by Lita, free shot for Ivory, clothesline for Jazz - Ivory in, SHE gets a clothesline, dropkick for Jazz, gutshot for Ivory, into the ropes is reversed, but Lita hits the headscissors. But Jazz grabs her - hot shot. Trish tags herself in for a top rope plancha - getting 2, but Ivory breaks it up. Ivory knocks Lita off the apron, then she and Jazz doubleteam Trish. Into the ropes, duck, Lita ankles Ivory while Trish delivers a brain kick - Stratusfaction - 1, 2, 3! Trish pinned the champ! (4:17)
Backstage, LILIAN GARCIA interviews Rob van Dam. Winning the intercontinental championship was cool. Where'll he end up in the draft? "Hey, whatever! Of course, they're both gonna want me to make their show better, right? But whether it's on Monday nights or on Thursday nights, it's all good. No matter where I go, I'm still gonna be Points To Self."
Rock/Hogan poster/T-shirt/WrestleMania program package ad - wow, it *already* seems obsolete!
"WWF RAW" for the Xbox ad
And now, the Whack of the Night, brought to you by Whacko Tobacco! From RAW, Brock Lesnar makes an impact
WWF EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP: WILLIAM REGAL v. DR. TEETH - Lawler at least gets on Page's case for botching the attendance figure - yeah, gotta keep our stories straight around here! Lockup, side headlock by Regal, forearm, back to the headlock - Page with forearms to the ribs, into the ropes, shoulderblock by Regal, cover, 1, cover, 1, cover, 2 - European uppercut by Regal, elbow, elbow, elbow, into the opposite corner is reversed, Page with a big back body drop - right, right, into the ropes, Regal ducks but Page spins around for another big clothesline. Right, into the ropes is revesred, dueling hiptosses, nope, knee by Page, neckbreaker, hooks the leg, gets 2. Page wants the Cutter but Regal shoves him away - head in the gut - running knee. Regal waves! Cover...2. Another forearm in the face cover - another 2. Double jumping knee to the head by Regal. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Page comes back with a right, right, right, right, but Regal manages a drop toehold from the mat, climbs on the back and unleashes three big forearms to the back of the head. NICE snap suplex by Regal gets 2. European uppercut. Union Jack! 1, 2, Page kicks out! Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, wave. Crowd brings the hate. Page puts Regal in the corner, right, right, right, chop, chop, chop, right, into the opposite corner, running clothesline by Page. Gutshot, BIG UGLY powerbomb - 1, 2, NO!! Gutshot, DDT, 1, 2, CHRISTIAN pulls Page off of him - somehow, referee "Blind" Brian Hebner completely missed it - Page with a right hand to put him on the floor...behind Hebner's back, Regal lands the Power of the Punch...and puts on the Regal Stretch! But Page is out - arm falls once, arm falls twice, arm falls thrice - ladies and gentlemen, we have a new European champion. (3:53) Christian goes into convulsions celebrating Page's loss. Replays. Regal's chest may look like hamburger, but he's now a three-time European champion.
"Please. Don't try this at home." PSA
Big Show shills Stacker 2 - do they not let him over the border, or what?
"The Rock IS the Scorpion King" magazine ad
Here's a look at the big neon sign attached to the exterior of the Centre Corel Centre
CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO & STEFFO make their way to the ring - Cole NOW tells us that Triple H pinning Jericho will ALSO put Stephanie on the first bus outta town. Lucky us, Jericho actually gets to speak first! "Go ahead - enjoy it. It's what you all wanted to see, right, it's what you all came to see...Chris Jericho without the Undisputed Championship. Yeah, so enjoy it. Soak it up! Take it all in, you know why? 'cause it's not gonna last. Because on Monday night, when Stephanie and I team up in a handicap match against Triple H for the Undisputed championship, I'm gonna beat The Game - and I'm gonna retake what is mine, and there's absolutely nothing that any of you jackasses can do about it! Yeah, Triple H may have robbed me for my championship at WrestleMania, but you people will not rob me of my dignity! You people will not rob me of my self-respect! In case you need a reminder, the man who beat the Rock and Steve Austin on the exact same night - it was Chris Jericho! Yeah, yeah, and the man who put Triple H out of action for eight long months - that was Chris Jericho! And the man - the ONLY man who can say he was the very first Undisputed champion in history...it was Chris Jericho! Hunter beat me on a fluke, but the reality is he is TERRIFIED of Chris Jericho, he is absolutely scared to death of Chris Jericho, and I'll tell you the reason why - why else would he insist on having his very own wife be my partner in the handicap match, huh? I'll tell you why, I'll tell you why, because he *knows* that he can't beat me twice! But he also knows that if he beats either me or you that Stephanie has to leave the World Wrestling Federation, and it's not gonna happen! It's not gonna happen because I will not allow such a terrible tragedy to happen!" Crowd starts singing again. "Yeah, right, you know - we NEED Stephanie McMahon! We all need Stephanie McMahon in the World Wrestling Federation!" "YOU NEED MEE" THE MAN interrupts just in the nick of time. "You know what? I'm glad you came out here, Hunter, because on Monday I'm going to finish off your leg, finish off your career, and finish off The Game!!" "First of all, Jericho, Liberace called and said he wants his pajamas back. Second, did I hear you say we NEED Stephanie McMahon? Who knows - you know what, after thinking about it, maybe you're right. Maybe the World Wrestling Federation can never have enough lying, whining, conniving (bitches). I mean after all, with all the things she's contributed - I tell you what. Let's take a look at all the contributions that Stephanie McMahon has made to the World Wrestling Federation."
Video package: "Stephanie's Most Embarrassing Moments" - hey we DO get to see Stone Cold Steve Austin tonight!
We come back to see Jericho shielding Stephanie's eyes from the travesty on the big screen. Back to Triple H: "You're right...Stephanie has been a barrel of laughs. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe the people Monday night were wrong. You know, maybe we should - maybe we should ask again - who here thinks that Stephanie should stay in the World Wrestling Federation? Now, who here thinks that Stephanie should LEAVE the World Wrestling Federation?" "Stop singing! STOP SINGING! You don't even know what you need, you need me!" "Well...I guess that settles that. As far as you go, Jericho, unlike my soon-to-be ex-wife, at WrestleMania, you DID earn my respect. And you're right, the one thing that nobody can ever take away from you is the fact that you were the first-ever Undisputed World Wrestling Federation champion...but Chris, that doesn't mean you're the best. You see, you went into WrestleMania thinking that you were unbeatable, that you were the immovable object - but what you didn't take into consideration was that you were coming up against the unstoppable force. This Monday night will be no different - after I defeat you and Stephanie in this handicap match on RAW, I will STILL be the Undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion. And Stephanie will be gone from the World Wrestling Federation. Because Chris, WrestleMania was the start of a whole new Game. And this Game is forever." "You know, Hunter, you really couldn't be more wrong. You think I haven't contributed to the World Wrestling Federation? Well I've got a big surprise for you, because come this Monday night, you won't be leaving RAW the WWF Undisputed Champion, and neither will Chris Jericho. See, because I talked to my daddy and I talked him into changing our little handicap match, and no longer will Chris Jericho and I be teaming up to face you; instead, the match will be Chris Jericho versus Triple H versus ME (Stephanie McMahon) in a Triple Threat match for the Undisputed WWF Championship. And while, Hunter, I know that it would be an incredible embarrassment for you to lose that title to Chris Jericho, it would be the ultimate humiliation to lose it to ME. And not only will I not be leaving the World Wrestling Federation, but this Monday night, I will be leaving RAW the FIRST-EVER FEMALE UNDISPUTED WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION." Play Triple H's old - I mean, her music! Jericho seems unhappy with this development.
Jakks Pacific R3 action figues and Hall of Fame playset ad
Commentators shill "Under One Roof"
Garcia catches up with Jericho backstage and gets his reaction. "What peculiar reaction, YOU'RE peculiar. What do you mean, what am I thinking, I think the question is what is Stephanie thinking? What does she have up her sleeve, now that she made this match a Triple Threat, so that means if she pins Triple H, she becomes the champion. And if she pins me, she becomes the champion. But....if I pin Stephanie, *I* become the champion..." The light goes on and Jericho walks away...
TAJIRI (with Torrie Samuda) v. TEST (with Backlash onsale announcement - Chris Benoit will be there!) - Wow, I almost forgot all about that guy! Test with a knee, forearm in the back, right, into the ropes, Tajiri ducks and hits a Viscera kick. Climbing up top - but Test crotches him. Test right, right, five kicks in the back as Tajiri's draped over the top - he drops to the mat. Test picks him back up - right, back elbow, right, into the opposite corner, follow clothesline, into the opposite corner, follow clothesline, pulled into a big short clothesline for 2. Scoop...and a slam. Off the ropes, elbowdrop MISSES when Tajiri rolls out. Tajiri goes to work - kick, right, right, knee by Test stops that short. Into the ropes, Tajiri slides under - Test catches the kick, spins him around, Tajiri ducks the clothesline and unleashes a big superkick. Both men are down. Let's take a replay while we're waiting. Both men up as referee "Blind" Jimmy Korderas reaches 3. Tajiri right, right, right, into the opposite corner is reversed, but Tajiri goes up and over as Test charges in...ending up on the shoulder...but shoving Test to the corner, gutshot, front face, climbing up, tornado DDT!! Cover, leg is hooked - ONLY 2! Tajiri kicks the leg, into the corner is reversed - Test coming in but Tajiri is up and over - into the Tarantula! Of course, he has to break at 4. Off the ropes, sunset flip doesn't happen - Test drops down - Tajiri slides out with a bridge - back kick to the head! Tajiri winds up - but Test ducks the KICK, sweeps the leg, makes the international sign of the Wotsitolla Boot but Tajiri ducks THAT - superkick by Tajiri - into the ropes is reversed, Tajiri wants the handspring elbow but Test catches him in a full nelson for Uncle Slam - 1, 2, NO! Torrie up on the apron - Test grabs a handful of hair and shoves her off - Tajiri with ANOTHER superkick - leg is hooked, 1, 2, NO! Both men up slowly - Tajiri with a chop - into the ropes, no, Test pulls him into a powerbomb - YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB TAJIRI - Tajiri off the ropes - oops RIGHT into Wotsitolla Boot - 1, 2, 3, Test wins. (3:54) Commentators specualte Test will be a high draft pick - WHY?
Back to the NWO - with Vince. "He looks ready." "Looks ready to me, boss." "You know, I've got a feeling that tonight - I've got a feeling that tonight, the NWO is gonna make a statement. Kevin Nash versus the Rock. Yeah, you know what - I got a feeling that tonight - I got a feeling that Kevin Nash is gonna step into the ring with the Brahma Bull...and the Brahma Bull is gonna be CASTRATED." "Hey boss, about the draft on Monday..." "Oh yeah, oh yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you guys. On the draft, I've arranged it so the NWO is drafted as a unit - all of ya." "Sweet." "And by the way, I assure you that Ric Flair doesn't want any more NWO poison." "No doubt." Hall and Nash manage to flub a handshake/gimme five while Vince makes more faces. Yikes.
Wait, so Vince, who wanted to kill his creation.....he's going to keep the NWO *away* from Flair? Zat right?
"Divas 2002: the Swimsuit Issue" is coming 2 April!
And now, the WWF Burn of the Night, brought to you by Stacker 2! From RAW, Linda BURNS us all by announcing a brand extension - then Flair and Vince exchange some moves
EL HURACAN (with Let Us Take You Back To WrestleMania) v. MIGHTY MOLLY in smooth, creamy intergender action - But first, an extended pantomime. Hurricane: "You - frying pan shot - my back - wassupwitday?" Molly: "I wanted da belt - I wanted da belt - Hand of Friendship?" He takes it - so she kicks him in the gut. Wow, he's stupid. She rips off his cape - kick is caught, spun away - Hurricane sets up for his chokeslam...but relents - and goes to leave. So she gives him a double sledge - does he GET it yet? Stomp, stomp, stomp, chop, into the opposite corner, tumbling run handspring elbow, dropkick! She runs at him, but he dumps her over the top to the floor. To the top...but again he decides against landing the big move on his sidekick. Well, it's all moot now - here's BROCK LESNAR with a big spinebuster for Hurricane. There's the inverted TKO. Molly in as PAUL E. HEYMAN shows up to direct traffic - BIG clothesline for Molly! Heyman raises Lesnar's hand while the heat machine boos... Well, referee "Blind" Mike Sparks never called for the bell, so let's call it (No contest 1:00)
The Awesome Undertaker is WALKING! "Hey, boy. You work here? Where's Flair's office?" "Right over there." OOH
"WWF Forceable Entry" CD ad
Booker T has another helping of fried chicken
Catch a gander at that wwf.com homepage!
Another reminder that 68,237 is their story and they're sticking to it
Ric Flair talks (to ME!) on his phone - but cuts short when Taker pays him a visit. "Say, Flair - whoanonononono, sit down. How you feelin' these days? You didn't look so hot at WrestleMania, didja?" "No, but I'm still here." "Yeah, I see you still here. I seen you were here Monday night when you put the figure four on Vince. Well see Monday night I had the night off - but this is Thursday night - and I'm here." "I know that." "So since I'm here...I got a little somethin' I need to ask you. I need you to do me a favour." "Me do a favour for you?" "Yeah, I need a favour from ya. You know this brand extension that's comin' up - you and McMahon - I want you to draft me." "You want me to draft you." "Yeah, that's right. I want you to draft me. Because...you know, leading into WrestleMania, on all the shows they had 'this is a WrestleMania Moment.' I want you to draft me so every day of your life can be a WrestleMania Moment. You just think about that, Flair. (touches his knee) You just think about that." Then he grabs his crotch, laughs, and walks off. Wow, this just turned a whole lot more gay...man, Undertaker rules, though.
Meanwhile, Billy & Chuck talk about hiring Rico - he might be tough, but he's the best there is. And here HE is. "This is pathetic. An embarrassment!" "We didn't--" "Silence! I don't know how you two guys live with yourselves. ...I mean these headbands - they're totally crooked! This, this colour scheme, totally passe. We are gonna undergo a complete full-body makeover immediately after you beat the Hardyz. Now get your robes - come on. Unbelievable! How can I work with this?" "Wow - he's tough, but he's the best stylist money can buy!"
"WWF Live - The moments are waiting" spot - hoo boy
Jakks Pacific ad - again
You're watching UPN - the network of Buffy, Enterprise, and the Rock!
And now, the Boot of the Week, brought to you by Lugz! From RAW, Billy brushes off Stacy, so she belts him, causing a DQ and this tablebomb for Stacy
WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: HARDY BOYZ v. BILLY & CHUCK (with Rico) - Jeff does his Aldo Montoya impersonation underneath the black light. Rico wears a perfect coif, five o'clock shadow, black skintight shirt, black slacks and shoes, and a single earring in his left ear. I think you can draw the obvious conclusion - HE'S A STYLIST. Billy and Matt start - sorry, that's Chuck - Matt ducks a clothesline, gobehind - to a headlock - Chuck powers out - Matt ducks the clothesline and the schoolboy gets 2. Chuck with a clothesline. Right by Chuck puts him down. Into the ropes, head down, Matt with a swinging neckbreaker. 1, 2, no. Chuck to the eyes - tag for Billy but Matt shoves him to Jeff for a free shot - tag - doubleteam kicks. Kick by Jeff, right, into the ropes is reversed, Jeff ducks, crossbody gets 2. Kick, kick, into the ropes is revesred, Chuck grabs the hair, Jeff turns round and puts HIM on the floor, but turns back to take a tilt-a-whirl slam from Billy. Tag to Chuck - stomp, stomp, stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Picks him up - discus right. Jeff comes back from his knees - right, right, right, forearm, forearm, forearm, off the ropes, runs into a back elbow. Chuck with the tag. Billy grabs the hair - double into the ropes, double clothesline ducked, Jeff with a split legged double dropkick - and a tag! Matt clotheslines Billy, clotheslines Chuck, clotheslines Billy, back body drop for Chuck as Billy gets a double and speaking in tongues legdrop from Jeff. Matt pounds Chuck in the back, again, into the opposite corner, Poetry in Motion - Billy into the corner, AGAIN Poetry in Motion but Chuck ducks under and Jeff crotches himself in the corner. Matt manages a tornado DDT but before Jeff can hit a swanton, Chuck shoves him to the floor! Matt shoves CHUCK to the floor, second rope for the ahhhhhdrop. 1, 2, Rico rolls Jeff into the ring and into refereee "Blind" Nick Patrick to stop the count. Matt with a gutshot, wants the Twist of Fate but Billy shoves him to the ropes where Rico is waiting to deliver a hot shot - Billy with a Pound'Asser - 1, 2, 3, champs retain...with just a little help. (3:38) How's my hair? How's my hair? How's my hair?
UP NEXT: The Rock vs. Kevin Nash!
"On a special episode of Tough Enough you'll ONLY see once" - why, all those bare asses? YIKES
Big Show shills Stacker 2 - again!
Get ready for RAW: Triple H vs. Stephanie vs. Chris Jericho in a Triple Threat match for the Undisputed WWF Championship - Triple H scoring the fall means Stephanie is GONE - You don't suppose Stephanie will just lay down for Jericho, do you? Nah, that'd ALMOST make sense...
BIG & TALL (with Clean & Sober) v. THE ROCK - The NWO video treatment no longer has Hogan in it, wisely enough - Nash is wearing some NICE pants - and by "nice" I mean "funny." Nash looks to be auditioning for one of those samurai movies with his 'do, but I bet I don't have to type "adjusts his hair" a million times for this match, so there's always a silver lining. Staredown. "Rock E" chant. Your referee is Earl "I Only Don't Work Montreal" Hebner. Rock waiting for Nash to strike - there we go - "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," right, right, right, but Nash barrels him over with a clothesline. Big forearm in the back. I wonder if that white stripe along Nash's backside is some kinda optical illusion to mask the fact that Nash is so HUSKY... Straight right hand from Nash. Here comes Rock - right, right, right, right, right, Nash with a knee in the gut to halt THAT. Up on the shoulder - and down in Snake Eyes. Knee to the back of the neck - choke on the second rope. Hall holds him down for the Bossman Straddle from Nash. Knee/shin in the back again - as Hebner pulls him off, Hall gets in a right. Crowd is chanting "Hogan?" Rock in the corner - Nash stands on the neck a la Stacy Keibler. Hall adds an apron run clothesline. Rock back in the corner. Hall: Ho ho ho, now you're gonna get it!" Nash knee, knee, knee, right, right, right, and I believe you can describe this pace as "deliberate." Now to the back elbow. "Who's the (bitch) now? Who's the (bitch) now?" Back elbow. Nash with the frame, the crotch chop, which signals the comeback - right, right, right, right, right, off the ropes - but Nash steps aside and tosses him over the top to the floor. Hall looks sneaky but it's Nash Dieseling over the top to grab Rock - up on the shoulder - but Rock shoves Nash into the ringpost! Rock right, back in the ring, and HALL lands a right - and one more. Hall right, tosses Rock back in for Nash. Nash with a big sidewalk slam. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, NO! Hall: "THREE!" Hebner: "Look at my WWF patch right here!" "Rock E" chant. Into the ropes...and Nash catches him in a bearhug. Not much to talk about here - Nash squeezes, Rock grimaces. Nash lets go and puts him to the mat with a forearm in the back. Nash BACK to the bearhug. Hall egging him on from ringside. I imagine Hebner will have to check the arm pretty soon...there we go. Arm falls once. Arm falls twice. I'm gonna go out on a limb and speculate that we won't see that again - sure enough, arm does NOT fall thrice! Rock tries a right, right, right, breaking the hold, right, right, right, right, right, off the ropes, ducks a clothesline from Nash and lands a flying clothesline of his own! Gutshot, DDT! Hall is in (uh oh) but Rock heads him off - right, right, right, right, crotch chop, NOW KISS THE RIGHT and Hall goes over the top and away! Spinebuster for Nash - elbowpad tossed - off one side, off the other, People's Elbow! Cover - 1, 2, Hall breaks it up. Dammit all, that's two NWO main events this week and two copout finishes - this didn't work on Nitro, what makes you think it's gonna work HERE? (DQ 7:11 Free Slurpees!) Hall kicks at Rock, kick, wants the Razor's Edge but Rock dumps him over the top! Rock to the commentary table and doing a little furniture arranging - okay, clear of monitors and lights...but Nash is back on Rock with a forearm in the back, right, and the "Hogan" chant isn't gonna stop him - JACKKNIFE POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! Well, here comes YOU KNOW WHO - block Hall, right, right, right for Nash, right, into the ringpost, right for Hall, into the ring, Hall into the ropes, big boot, legdrop, Nash in with a forearm in the back, clubbing forearm, forearm, but here comes Hogan with a right, right, into the ropes, big boot, off the ropes with a legdrop for HIM - but lookee here, it's X-PAC with a chairshot for Hogan - he does a Hogan impersonation while ripping off HIS NWO shirt, then stands over Hogan, displaying his pretty white hems and waistband on his black NWO shorts, as well as his new NWO boots. Hall grabs the chair and also gives Hogan a shot. He wants another but it's Nash's turn. Nash waits for him to get up - then hits him right in his hands - I mean head! X-Pac relieves Hogan of his shirt. "Four years, I've waited for this!" Hall hands over the spraypaint - and 'Pac sprays "NWO" on his back. Big pose in the ring as the music plays. Credits are up...
Wonder what happened to the Rock there.
Wonder what happened to AUSTIN.
Number of times they said "split:" zero (estimated). CORPORATE DOUBLESPEAK RULES YEAH IT DOES
See ya Tuesday.
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