UPN HYPE OF THE
WEEK: "The Twilinght Zone"
TV-PG-DLV - Entertainment - Attitude - WW!
Closed captioned logo - opening credits - beautiful
We just saved another many thousand bucks as we start off with
LESNAR & IT'S ALL ABOUT PAUL. Cole acknowledges
the lack of pyro by
stating "We're starting off SmackDown! with a bang!" Coming at you from
the KeyArena for the second time in a week, SAP transmitido en espanol on
UPN & the Score 15.8.2 (taped 13.8), it's WWE SmackDown!
Lesnar vs. Rikishi!
Lesnar rips off his Hulkamania T-shirt in familiar fashion. Of course,
it's Heyman doing the talking. "Well, I guess saying his prayers and
taking his vitamins didn't do Hulk Hogan much good against The Next Big
Thing Brock Lesnar! Hahaha - now, for those of you who were sitting there
and could not bear to stand the sight of The Immortal Hulk Hogan laying
down on the canvas, buh-leeding from the mouth, gasping for breath, for
his last, final breath of his miserable career at the hands of Brock
Lesnar...my client and I have decided to let you watch the footage all
over again. (clearly added in post-production) The last moments of a
legendary career! Hulk Hogan tries to attack an agent, but Brock Lesnar -
when it comes crashing down and it hurts inside, the F-5 - followed by
Brock Lesnar squeezing the blood out of Hulk Hogan and then...with one
swing of a chair, Brock Lesnar ended the career of Hulk Hogan. This is my
favourite part - watch this - Hulk Hogan - too much of a man to accept
anybody else's help. Hulk Hogan, the Lord of the Hulkamaniacs, demands to
stand on his own two feet. Hulk Hogan, a deity in WWE, an unparalleled
career - achievements that will never be match - a real American stands on
his own two feet for the final time in his caree - the GREATEST career in
WWE history, which is now over. (coming back "live") Who did this to
Hulk Hogan? Who caused all this destruction? BROCK LESNAR! Nobody has
ever put down Hulk Hogan! Nobody has ever been man enought to end Hulk
Hogan's career...until now. Hulk Hogan met his match in Brock Lesnar, and
do you know what the most insulting thing about it is? Hulk Hogan is not
the ultimate trophy on the mantle of this warrior of ultimate proportions,
oh no! Hulk Hogan was a damned STEPPING STONE for Brock Lesnar! Hulk
Hogan was treated like a legend, and a common message boy by Brock Lesnar.
Because better than a letter, better than a phone call, better than an
email, Brock Lesnar used and exploited Hulk Hogan to send a message to The
Rock. And that message to The Rock reads loud and clear like a neon sign,
and the message reads as follows: 'The blood - the blood of Hulkamania is
on Brock Lesnar's hands - and the People's blood - the People's blood will
be on Brock Lesnar's hands at SummerSlam.'" "Just like I ended Hulk
Hogan's career....I will end The Rock's title reign at SummerSlam!"
Well, before we hear any more from Lesnar, out ambles
'kishi models his phat wear in kelly green and heads down the ramp while
Heyman starts. "You better stop right there! You better stop right
there! Brock gave me the microphone - his hands are free, he's ready to
fight! You better stop RIGHT there, pal! Don't you walk up there! Your
match with Brock Lesnar is later on tonight, I will not let my client
fight you, fat(ass)!" 'kishi swipes the mic. "Hey, baldy! Is that the
best you got? So you wanna go there, huh? Well let me tell you this.
Tonight, here in SEATTLLLLLLLLLLE! Rikishi's gonna back that (ass)
up...and then make you KISS this fat (ass). Oh, you wanna piece o' the
Keesh?" Keesh through the ropes, Lesnar to the back - seven big blows,
Keesh with five rights, Keesh clotheslines Lesnar out of the ring! Busts
a move and ends up looking Heyman's way. Heyman begs off but Keesh shoves
him in the corner...but before he can pull down his pants, Lesnar pulls
Heyman out of the ring. Play his music - what a main event we will have
And now, the Extreme Blast of the Night, brought to you by JVC's Tower of
Power (horns)! From last week, Shannon Moore gets the surprise pin on
Chuck and he and Hurricane get the duke.
THE HURRICANE & SHANNON MOORE (405
pounds) and HARDCORE HOLLY (Mobile,
Alabama - 234 pounds - with Let Us Take You Back to Velocity) v. BILLY &
CHUCK & RICO (771 pounds)
Gladiator-esque sign in the crowd for Rico - WHOA the refs have new UGLY
"SmackDown! blue" shirts with black pinstripes tonight. I guess they
double as softball jerseys? Billy rushes the ring and starts punching
Holly, so everyone else is shuttled to a corner - right by Hardcore, right
by Billy, Hardcore, Billy, Hardcore, Billy, side headlock by Hardcore,
powered out, Hardcore with a shoulder block. Up and over, Billy tries the
backdrop but Holly is up and over, gutshot, into the ropes with Billy,
Hardcore lands the dropkick. Billy falls to the wrong corner (BILLY
FLOP!), right by Hardcore, Billy falls in the RIGHT corner, Chuck and Rico
argue about who exactly Billy tagged, so Hardcore settles it by bringing
in Rico the hard way - chop, chop, blocks a punch, traps Rico's arms in a
"gas mask" (laces his own fingers in Rico's mouthular area with Rico's
arms trapped in his elbows) - into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex from
the same hold - never seen that one before. Holly tags out to Moore.
Blocks a punch, right, right, right, but Rico reverses back to a kick,
kick, snap kick, cover, 2. Whip into the corner is reversed - Rico goes
sternum first, then runs into a kick. Tag to Hurricane. Moore with a
backslide so Hurricane can come off the top with a guillotine - 1, 2,
Chuck saves. Rico manages to roll to his corner and tag Chuck - walks
into the goozle from Hurricane...takes too long giving the crowd the
thumbs up so Chuck elbows out of the chokeslam attempt. Tonight, Eddie &
Chavo Guerrero take on Rey Mysterio & Edge! Chuck right, right, into the
ropes, Hurricane ducks, Chuck brings him up, but Hurricane hits the
"Hurricanerana," then adds his version of the shining wizard for 2. Head
scissors applied but Chuck slips out - forearms to the back by Chuck,
going for a death suplex but Hurricane lands on his feet - right, right,
into the corner is reversed, Hurricane up and - well, tried to go over but
Chuck catches him on his shoulder, takes him to his corner and drops him
across the top rope (Billy adds a spike to help) - Hurricane falls into a
double arm belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Chuck runs him into the corner,
three more shoulders, three rights - now while Billy draws over Chioda,
Rico gets in some free shots as well. Chuck applies the chinlock when
Chioda turns back. Crowd chants "Rico sux," then comes alive for
Huricane. Chuck moves to the headlock and drops down...but now Hurricane
is starting to come back - to his feet - elbow, elbow, elbow breaks it -
off the ropes - Chuck buries the knee. Tag to Billy - they make a wish
(ow). Chuck stomps. Kiss that right! Another right. Shot into the
ropes, Hurricane ducks, tilt-a-whirl countered when Hurricane lands on his
feet - ducks again, grabs Billy - Eye of the Hurricane! Both men are
down, everybody wants a tag. Billy up first but walking to the wrong
corner - finally flops to a tag to Chuck - but Hurricane is there to tag
Moore! Clothesline for Chuck! Ducks Rico coming in - Holly in to give
HIM a right hand. Right for Chuck by Moore, gutshot, off the ropes,
forward flip neckbreaker, climbs up top...moonsault connects! Billy in,
Moore ducks, right, right, switch in the corner, Billy knee, Moore blocks,
right, right, Billy shoves him back into the corner - meanwhile, Hurricane
and Chuck are fighting and Chuck tosses Hurricane over and out. Two boots
up by Moore - leaps from the second rope, Billy ducks and Chuck catches
him on his shoulders - Moore right, right, right, Chuck lets him go and
grabs Chioda - while THEY talk, Billy sneaks up from behind on Moore and
gives him the One and Only cobra clutch slam. Chuck over to hook the leg
- 1, 2, 3. (5:53)
Three on one briefly on Moore until Holly makes it
back in, joined by Hurricane - Rico out - Chuck shoves Chuck over, Billy
through the ropes just as MATT HARDY makes a surprise entrance and
(doesn't) helps clear the ring. Keep his music playing! Hurricane and
Moore seem happy to see him - Holly not as much (Hardy has to grab his
hand to shake it).
In the Room of Fun (Jr.), Stephanie McMahon makes a face...and slowly
paces so the camera can pull back to reveal - Dawn Marie's shiny
breasts. "Miss McMahon, I am SO sorry - I apologise, I will never, ever
screw up like that again. I am so sorry. I really--" "Shut up. Do you
have any idea WHY you're apologising, Dawn? No, you don't. The papers
that you were supposed to put in my hands personally last week that you so
carelessly gave to Stacy Keibler, the mole - those papers were Rob van
Dam's contract. RVD never even read his contract; RVD didn't know that he
had a rematch clause for the intercontinental title. And do you know what
I was gonna do with those papers? No you don't. I was going to shred
those papers to keep the intercontinental title that is vital to
SmackDown! But no, YOU screwed it up Dawn, and now Chris Benoit has to
defend his intercontinental title at SummerSlam against RVD." "I'm so
sorry, it will never, ever happen again. I am SO--" "You're damn right
you're sorry. At least...I was able to sign Matt Hardy, and at least I
outsmarted Eric Bischoff and bought commercial time on RAW. But if you're
gonna continue to work for me, Dawn - you need to dress, um (frames her
breasts) more professionally? And if you ever screw up again...you will
be FIRED." "Yes ma'am." "Now go get me Chris Benoit."
The Spectacular Edge is WALKING!
This month's Fanatic Series presentation is Insurrextion! Hey wasn't that
the LAST WWF pay-per-view?
Tough Enough 2 trainers shill Stacker 2
See the WWE LIVE when it comes to YOUR area! Tuesday, Fayetteville!
Saturday, Albany! SummerSlam in Uniondale is SOLD OUT! Monday is New
Haven! And Tuesday it's back at Moheegan Sun!
DURING THE BREAK!
Matt Hardy plus three backstage! "Yes, yes, YES!
MAN, God it's good to see you man! It's good to see you. How great was
that? How awesome was that. Man, I mean - what a reaction when my music
hit - I ran to the ring, ran everybody outta Dodge, made the save for you
guys - I mean, it was perfect! God it's good to see you guys again, and I
want you to know for you guys, I'll always be there, no thanks ever
needed. And I don't think there's a question in anyone's mind definitely
ready for Matt Hardy...(makes sign)...version one. I'll see you guys."
He leaves them...confused.
Back to Stephanie. Knock - it's Benoit. "Chris, I can't BELIEVE how my
staff SCREWED UP - and now you have to defend the intercontinental
championship at SummerSlam. Now I know that you're gonna beat RVD, I know
you're gonna keep the intercontinental championship..." "I'm gonna beat
his (ass)." "...right here on SmackDown! I know you will. You're gonna
make RVD tap, aren't you?" "Yeah, I'm gonna make him squeal." "You're
gonna make RVD tap just like you made the Rock tap two weeks ago. Isn't
that right? 'cause I'm gonna make it up to you, Chris. Tonight, the main
event is going to be Chris Benoit versus The Rock. And I want you to send
a message to RVD through The Rock, I want you to make The Rock tap! I
want you to, I want you to make him tap, I want you to make him, make
him--" "I'm gonna make him moan, I'm gonna make him whimper, I'm gonna
make him SQUEEEAL." KISS HIM YOU FOOL "Yeah - so we're on?" "....watch
me." "I will." Oh man, I thought they were gonna DO IT
stands with Kurt Angle. He starts to
mention that last week Rey Mysterio got the 1-2-3, but Angle stops him
short. "Hold on a second! Let's make one thing clear, LOYD. Just
because some 12-year-old kid stopped mowing lawns, and put on some kooky
mask, and illegaly clocked me from behind when I wasn't lookin' doesn't
mean SQUAT. Rey Mysterio is a cheater - and cheaters never win, therefore
his win doesn't count. Oh, speak of the devil. Sorry son, you know the
rules, must be this high to talk to Kurt Angle - maybe next year." "Kurt
- are you saying my win DIDN'T count?" "Nope." "So how 'bout, um, me and
you hit it off at SummerSlam, so I can make it count?" Angle laughs - for
a while. "That's a good one. Ahhh.... you're serious." "Yes." "You.
Wanna take me, Olympic Gold Medalist, you wanna take me on at SummerSlam?
At what? Dwarf tossing?" Another long laugh from Angle. "I'm on a
roll!" "No, no, I want you in a match, Kurt, so I can beat you again -
and I can SHUT you up once and for all." "If there's one thing I can't
stand, it's a little man with an attitude. You wanna piece o' me at
SummerSlam?" "Yeah." "La freaking cucaracha, you're on, pal! Yeah."
Mysterio walks off. Yeah, you make sure you let Dorothy and ah, the Tin
Man and all the Munchkins know that your butt is mine little man! Ya hear
me? Your butt is mine at SummerSlam!" While he's been talking, Mark
Henry has walked up. "Who you callin' a little man - little man?" "Are
you calling me little man?" "Yeah." "World's Strongest Man, huh? What
was that for - weightlifting? Or body odor? You want a piece of me, Mark
Henry? I'll tell you what - I'm TIRED of talking to people tonight - I
want some action! You wanna piece of me, I say you and me right now, what
do you say Mark Henry?" "You wanna know what I say, Kurt?" "Yeah."
"Follow the yellow brick road. That's what I say...little man."
WWE Magazine ad
Heeeeeey the WWE Boot of the Week is brought to you by Lugz! "Get ready
to take over the streets and break it down Lugz style!" Just like Rey
Mysterio did last week when he hit the 619, the West Coast Pop, and the
illegal pin! Angle had this to say: "Please read last week's SmackDown!
KURT ANGLE (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania -
237 pounds) v. THE WORLD'S
STRONGEST MAN MARK HENRY (Silsbee, Texas - 353 pounds - with SmackDown! in
referee: JIMMY KORDERAS
is the third
time they've met, right? Lockup, Henry shoves him away, lockup, shove,
Angle shoots for a leg and moves to a headlock - Henry shoves him off,
shoulderblock attempted by Angle but Henry knocks HIM down instead.
Henry smiles. Angle up...goes for some mock applause, then runs at Henry
- he ain't movin'. Henry grabs Angle...but he lands on his feet - Angle
goes to the shortcut - right, right, right, into the ropes is reversed,
back elbow by Henry - pressed up...and dropped - clothesline - cover, leg
is hooked - 1, 2, Angle powers out. Angle crawls to the ropes, which is a
giant mistake because it puts him in *perfect* position for the Chocolate
Mousse - which Henry does, naturally. Unfortunately, he lands on his
ankle wrong and walks a little gingerly on his left foot coming back in.
Rock/Benoit later tonight! Shame on Tazz: "...that flying big man
manouevre, I don't know what he calls it." HE CALLS IT THE CHOCKLIT
MOOSE, TAZZ Angle into the opposite corner - nobody home on the charge,
Angle kicks the bad leg, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, think I got
'em all, chop block. Angle waits for him to get up...then gives him
another chop block to the same leg. Wants one more - Henry is ready this
time and clotheslines him. Angle into the ropes - but he drops down with
a shoulder to the FRONT of the leg and Henry hits the mat. Angle grabs
the leg - kick, kick, kick to the back of the leg, drops the elbow and
applies a leglock. Let's take a Foot Locker Replay. Henry won't give it
up, so Angle is back up - kick, elbowdrop, elbowdrop, back to the leg
lace. Henry refuses to lose! "Angle sux" chant. Lesnar/Rikishi is NEXT!
Angle thinks about moving to a figure four, but before he can finish
turning, Henry kicks him off into the corner! Henry ducks a swing, but
Angle drops down and rolls Henry forward - ANGLELOCK!! Henry tries to
grab a rope but is too far...but won't give up...rolls onto his back and
kicks away Angle OVER THE TOP to the floor! Henry tries to stand, and
does...but Angle is already back in. Kick - Henry with a (good) knee to
Angle's ribs - clothesline by Henry, clothesline, picks up Angle...press -
and thrown over his head to the mat! His knee didn't buckle there - Henry
tries to move in but meets Angle's boot. Angle runs into a back elbow
from Henry - Angle runs into a tilt-a-whirl but gets back to his feet
behind Henry's back, ANOTHER chop block, and again the anklelock. This
time, Henry has to tap. (5:35)
Angle takes a little long releasing the
hold after the bell, but eventually does so. Hey RAYMOND STEREO is on the
top rope - huracanrana and Angle manages to break open his head on the
landing! Mysterio adds a 619 to Angle on the floor. Play his music!
Wants another one but Angle's too far out so he does the more familiar
spin move with no contact instead. MAN Angle is bleeding a TON.
Fleer WWE trading cards ad
When we come back, Eric Bischoff is sitting in front of a RAW logo and
behind a table of...sandwiches? "Hi, I'm Eric Bischoff - and I'm here to
talk to you about Subway sandwiches! Like the new southwest turkey and
bacon...juicy turkey, mouth watering bacon - all on a fresh roll. Subway
- low fat, eat fresh - and tell 'em Eric Bischoff sent ya! And by the
way, can't think of a better time than this Monday night on RAW to enjoy a
delicious Subway sandwich while you're watching The Rock take on Triple
H." Hey Eric, bubby, the sandwiches are supposed to help you LOSE weight!
And now, the WWE Rewind, brought to you by Foot Locker - from RAW, Triple
H pedigrees The Rock. Why a RAW highlight makes this SmackDown! segment
is beyond me. One step forward...
KING BROCK LESNAR (Minneapolis,
Minnesota - 295 pounds - with Paul Heyman)
v. RIKISHI (American Samoa - 350 pounds)
Staredown. Keesh backs up - thinks about it - nope. NOW they lock up,
side headlock by Lesnar, Keesh powers out, hiptoss blocked by Lesnar,
drops down, fireman's carry takeover and he makes it look easy. Keesh
seems suitably impressed. Lockup - Keesh with the side headlock - chain
wrestling to the hammerlock. Lesnar reaches back - standing switch -
forearm to the back of the head. Lesnar into the ropes - collision in the
middle and nobody moves. Lesnar swings and Keesh ducks, clothesline takes
Lesnar off his feet (!), leg is hooked but Lesnar's in no danger at 2.
Keesh right, right, right, into the corner, nobody home and shoulder hits
the post. Lesnar with a forearm in the back. Lesnar outside, grabs the
arm and wraps it around the post - there's a second one. Heyman has
Hebner's eye so it goes unnoticed. Back in the ring, Lesnar drops the
elbow on the back of the arm and now applies the armbar. Keesh climbs to
the rope and grabs it. Lesnar lets go at 4. Stomp by Lesnar, stomp.
Picks him up, Keesh right, right, right, right, into the ropes, head down,
Lesnar with an elbow to the back of the head. Belly-to-belly overhead
suplex! Lesnar had no trouble with THAT either. Hooks the leg - 1, 2,
Keesh kicks out! Lesnar goes to the bearhug - the Hogan killer. Tazz
notes Hogan received an F-5 before the bearhug, so it might not take
Rikishi out. Sure enough, Keesh is fighting back - right hand, right,
right, right breaks the hold but Lesnar barrels him into the corner,
shoulder, shoulder. Keesh pops out with a clothesline! Right hand, into
the ropes, Samoan drop (sorta)! BELLY to belly!! Keesh pats his
rump...FAT ASS SPLASH!! Lesnar flumps! Will Keesh be able to give it to
him? Not if he keeps dilly-dallying...whoops, Heyman is in - Keesh grabs
HIM and shoves him to the opposite corner - off goes the hat! Fat ass
splash on Heyman! Keesh looks to this corner - that one - and back to
this one. Looks like he's settled on Heyman...but Lesnar is up
behind...RIKISHIKICK on Lesnar! Keesh wedgies himself good - and gives
Heyman the stinky face! Heyman doesn't really get his nose in there all
that well, but as a non-athlete he just might not be that flexible. Tazz:
"Rikishi's taking Heyman to the extreme!" Oops, got too distracted -
Lesnar is up from behind - Key on My Keyboard - that's his move, Flea.
Leg is hooked - 1, 2, 3. (5:41)
We take another longing look at Heyman
gagging and balding. Here's the replay of the stinkface (well, he DID
kiss it) and the F-5.
TONIGHT: Edge &
Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie & Chavo Guerrero!
Rock vs. Chris Benoit!
TV-PG-DLV Torrie Wilson is STRETCHING over this STATION IDENTIFICATION!
She faces Nidia NEXT!
But first, the graphix don't lie - at SummerSlam, Triple H fights Shawn
Michaels! Here's some music! Ric Flair meets Chris Jericho! Lance Storm
& Christian put the gold on the line against Booker T & Goldust! Kurt
Angle accepts the challenge of Rey Mysterio! The Undertaker goes one on
one with Test! The contractually obligated rematch sees Chris Benoit
defend his intercontinental championship against Rob Van Dam! And don't
you dare forget the big one - for the Undisputed title: it's The Rock
against Brock Lesnar! "Just bring it!" TEN DAYS AWAY
Backstage, where FUNAKI
is apparently auditioning for Sharmell Sullivan's
spot. "Okay? Okay? Funaki audition - okay, ready? One, two, three.
This is Funaki. I am here in locker room with Needia. Hi Nidia.
Tonight, you have one on one matchup with Torrie Wilson. Can I get your
thought on this big, big matchup?" Nidia is busy twirling her gum.
"Now, Funaki, come on. You know you're not here to talk about Torrie
Wilson - we're here to talk about how BEAUTIFUL I am and how voluptuous my
breasts are. They're nice, aren't they? You think that's nice, check
this out. (Points to her tush) Now baby have you seen anything like it
before? You wanna touch it? C'mon, touch it! Yeah, come on! You know
you want to." She tries to guide his hand in that direction, but he keeps
pulling back. "No, I can't." "Why not?" "Jamie Noble kick--" "Oh,
Jamie? Jamie doesn't care, the more the merrier he says. Come on.
Besides, you can't say no to these. Touch it!" "No, no, no..." Just in
time to keep our TV-PG rating, the camera is distracted away from this
right before Nidia manages to make Funaki's hand connect with the promised
land (BOOBS!) - as the shouting we've been hearing throughout this entire
segment offstage *finally* erupts in D-Von being thrown through the door
and into our picture - followd by Batista standing over him. "There's
your resepct!" D-Von's out cold.
TORRIE SAMUDA v. AD
BREAK - aw, COME ON
This week on Confidential, Rock talks about his preparation for Brock
TORRIE SAMUDA (already in the ring -
now joined by Billy Kidman) v. NIDIA
(with Jamie Noble - and his music)
Nidia sticks her gum to the ringpost before starting. Nidia kick, chop,
into the corner...but boot up on the charge. Wilson with a clothesline,
clothesline, double leg, WOW catapult coming up - into the buckle, rollup,
1, 2, no. Nidia ducks, kick, DDT! 1, 2, Torrie kicks out. Torrie
manages a jawbreaker, but Nidia is right back with a clothesline. Hooks
the leg, 1, 2, Torrie kicks out. Nidia runs into a hot shot. Gutshot by
Wilson, snap suplex, hooks the leg, 1, 2, no. Nice cleavage shot, thanks.
Chop by Torrie, chop, into the ropes is reversed, head down, kick by
Torrie. Torrie decides to slide out and slap Noble. Nidia tries a
baseball slide but misses Torrie and hits Noble. Torrie slaps Nidia.
Torrie climbing up but Noble grabs her ankle - this brings over Kidman and
THEY start brawling - of course, Sparks leaves the ring to deal with these
two guys not involved in the match he's officiating - meanwhile, Torrie
blocks, head to the turnbuckle, back in, swinging neckbreaker, but Noble
is in with a clothesline - Sparks still with Kidman, ohhh. 1, 2, 3, Kane
everybody's scared - Noble takes off with Nidia...but not
before she manages to retrieve her gum!
Backstage, Eddie Guerrero is on the phone while Chavo listens in. All the
family's gathered 'round - grandma's there! Eddie says to make sure
Chavo, Mondo and Hector are all watching. Then he rattles off five or six
"-itas" and also the kid from the orphanage who better be done washing
Chavo's car. "Hey man, that's right - so watch it, and tape it! (hangs up
phone) Ese! All the family's watching, holmes - we better do good
tonight, ese." "Oh, we're gonna do good tonight, man - we're gonna
dominate Mysterio and Edge - and you know what? Edge is gonna regret ever
spearing you!" "Edge is - WHAT YOU SAYING? Ese he didn't spear me man!
No he got LUCKY man! ..vato. You know what, I am sooooo tired of Edge -
OOOO Edge, what a great WRESTLER!" "He's not a good wrestler!" "What
great CHARISMA he has!" "He doesn't have charisma like you!" "And you
know what, man? They say what a great smile he has. Well whoopty ding
dong! Ese, ...you know who has a great smile, holmes?" "Who?" "Me."
Chavo was expecting him. "You?" "Yeah." "Let's see." Eddie gives him a
grin. "That's a good smile, bro, that's a good smile." Chavo covers his
own reactionary smirk. "Yeah, hey - that's not a good smile - that's a
FABULOUS smile!" "FABULOSO!" "And you know what, after tonight...we're
gonna have a lot more - to smile about!"
Fozzy ad - next week, I'll tell you how much it's outselling Neurotica
Take another look at the Space Needle because they're STILL in Seattle!
EDGE (Toronto, Ontario - 241 pounds)
and REY MYSTERIO (San Diego,
California - 175 pounds - with SmackDown! is brought to you by Tobacco
Which Is Whacko [If You're A Teen], Rbk and "Stealing Harvard!") v. EDDIE
& CHAVO GUERRERO (El Paso, Tejas - 448 pounds)
It'll be Chavo and Edge to start - Chavo points, Edge slaps it away,
right, right, into the ropes, Chavo slides under and Edge flapjacks him.
Eddie tries to distract but Edge dropkicks him through the ropes off the
apron after ducking Eddie's swing. Chavo into the ropes, reversed, ankled
by Eddie - but again failing to distract as Edge dumps the charging Chavo
over the top and onto his uncle! WWE onsale crawl hits the screen as Edge
goes outside to bring Chavo back in - but Eddie pulls Edge off, into the
barricade, right, thrown back in - Chavo meets him with a dropkick. Tag
to Eddie, open kick. Forearm, elbow, forearm, elbow, forearm, elbow,
forearm. Eddie and Korderas have a chat while Chavo adds a choke in the
ropes. Edge pops up, however - right, right, right, eyepoke by Eddie -
into the ropes, reversed, Edge manages a...well, the camera got real close
so they must be hiding a flub - let's call it "another flapjack" and Edge
falls back to his corner to make the tag. Mysterio with a springboard
cannonball, free shot for Chavo, backflip press for Eddie gets him 2.
Right by Rey, right, second rope...Ten Punch Count Along, but Chavo saves
after seven after Korderas works on getting Edge back in his corner.
Eddie powerbombs Mysterio out of the corner and tags Chavo. Mysterio
positioned, Chavo over the top with a splash to the back, then rolls him
over for 2. Euro uppercut. Kick, stomp, stomp, Mysterio gets a
backbreaker. Tag to Eddie - Chavo with a death suplex, Eddie with his
trademark somersault - 1, 2, no. Pumphandle into a backbreaker - 1, 2,
Rey kicks out. Eddie applies the chinlock. Over to Chavo for the tag -
kicks the ribs, forearm in the back, scoop...and a slam. Leg is hooked -
2. Knucklelock, Chavo goes up - Mysterio with the boots on the chest to
flip them to thrie feet - Chavo throws him off but Mysterio backflips,
lands on his feet and connects with a viscera! Both men down, both men
need to tag. Tag to Eddie - Rey's too far away and it doesn't matter as
Eddie shoves Edge off the apron. Eddie calls to the crowd - going for the
powerbomb but Rey counters into the Frankensteiner! Mysterio lunges to
his corner and MAKES THE TAG! Edge with a clothesline, clothesline, back
body drop for Chavo, into the corner to monkey flip Eddie. Chavo reverses
the whip but Edge hits the flying jalapeno - half nelson faceplant for
Eddie - spear into the corner for Chavo - Eddie isn't home, though, and he
gives Edge the brainbuster!! Rather than go for the cover, though, he
climbs up and calls the crowd again - took too long, Mysterio over to
shove him off. Chavo's in position for the 619 so he runs over and gives
THAT to him...but KURT ANGLE is out from the crowd, pulls him off the
apron and applies the anklelock! Korderas calls for the bell.
Edge is over from behind, punches Chavo through the ropes - Eddie from
behind on Edge. Whip into the barricade is reversed, and Edge spears
Eddie! But Angle has control of Mysterio again - puts him in the ring and
again applies the anklelock - Mysterio screams, and Chavo adds the verbal
insult - and a dropkick to Mysterio's face. Now Edge is back in - spear
for Chavo! Angle from behind on Edge, tries for the Olympic Slam but Edge
isn't going up - ducks the clothesline, SPEARS Angle! Play Rob Zombie!
Angle's cut has reopened - man, he's *fragile* tonight!
SummerSlam spot - Shawn Michaels
Stacker 2 ad #2 - you know, those guys probably need to stop falling for
Commentators shill "Two Full Hours of Enterprise"
WOW! Loyd stands in front of an EXCITING door!
Here's another Special Video Look at the WWE Global Warning Tour in
When we come back, Loyd is joined by The Rock.
But first, Let Us Take You Back 2 Weeks where Benoit put Rock in the
crossface (thanks to Brock Lesnar showing up!) and got the submission.
Rock says "whoa" a lot, makes Loyd bend over, says "sweet cream on an ice
cream sammich," then takes half an hour to tell Chris Benoit there's no
way he'll tap twice and also to tell Brock Lesnar to just bring it,
(bitch) and if you smell. But after he walks away, Brock Lesnar emerges
from another doorway behind him...
THE ROCK (Undisputed champion - Miami,
Florida - 275 pounds - with
SummerSlam is brought to you by Foot Locker's House of Hoops!) v. CHRIS
BENOIT (intercontinental champion - Edmonton, Alberta - 229 pounds) in a
Rock's corner pose, two guys
walk by with a giant banner advertising RAW's main event. Big staredown
to start. Lockup, arm wringer by Benoit, to a hammerlock...Rock reaches
back, nope. Benoit to the side headlock. Rock with a forearm to the
side, again, shoves Benoit out and Benoit hits the shoulderblock. Benoit
up and over, Rock leapfrog, Rock armdrag, armdrag to an armbar. Benoit
puts a hand in Rock's face but Rock doesn't break it. Benoit back to his
feet - Rock elbows the elbow. Hammerlock. Now a side headlock by Rock -
Benoit two hands in the face, shoves off Rock, Rock shoudlerblock. Rock
up and over, Benoit tries the leapfrog but Rock's already stopped himself
- then clotheslines Benoit. Right hand by Rock - Benoit into the ropes,
no, reversed, head down, Rock shoves his head into the mat. Benoit ducks
the next swing, though, and gives Rock the death suplex - you can always
tell those because Rock can't get his arm behind his head fast enough
before the landing. Benoit picks up Rock for a short-arm clothesline.
Stomp, stomp, right, backbreaker across the knee - 1, 2, no. Head to the
buckle. Benoit puts Rock's arm over the top rope and opens him up for the
CHOP. Rock ends up in the adjacent corner - Benoit CHOPS again. Rock to
a third corner - Benoit with a kick - and a CHOP. Rock to the FOURTH
corner - ducks the chop, Rock right, right, chop, chop, right, right,
Benoit into the ropes, no, reversed, no, Rock with a gutshot - into the
ropes, belly to belly throw - hooks the leg...and gets 2! Rock right,
into the corner is reversed - Rock hits sternum first - Benoit ready with
a German suplex - holding on for two - holding on for THREE - holding on
for FOUR - holding on for FIVE...bridges...1, 2, NO!! Benoit decides to
try another cover - 1, 2, NO! Benoit applies the armbar - Rock might not
give up here, but it'll possibly weaken his arm for the crossface later.
Rock right, right, right breaks the hold, right, right, off the ropes,
Benoit swings and misses, Rock gutshot and DDT! Rock can't make the cover
in time - 1, 2, Benoit's shoulder up easily. Chioda starts the count with
both men down. Rock is up at 4, tries to shake off his shoulder - Benoit
breaks it up with a chop, chop, chop, Rock ducks the swing and tries Rock
Bottom but Benoit fires back with his elbow, elbow breaks it up, gutshot,
DDT by Benoit! Benoit stands over Rock - THUMB CROSSES THROAT! He's
going up for the first swandive headbutt since his surgery - AND
CONNECTS!! Commentators (rightly) make a big deal out of this. Benoit is
hurt as well - can only drape an arm over The Rock - 1, 2, NO!! Nobody's
moving and while Chioda starts his count again, let's take a Foot Locker
Replay. Chioda's up to seven now - both men to a knee - eight - nine -
both men on their feet...Benoit swings first, but Rock blocks and lands
his own right! Benoit tries again - block - right, right, right, right,
right, right, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT but Benoit ducks it - Rock catches the
kick - dragon screw legwhip into the Sharpshooter!! Will it be *Benoit*
tapping tonight? Benoit is doing a lot of hollering - crawls - REACHES
THE ROPE!! Rock holds on but lets go when Chioda gets to 3 - Rock having
a few words with him, and turning back to take a full running elbow by
Benoit...but Rock nips up!! Benoit runs in and takes the spinebuster.
Rock removes the elbowpad...but KING BROCK LESNAR starts making his way
down to ringside! Rock runs the ropes and, catching sight of Lesnar, goes
THROUGH the ropes and to the outside for the big staredown. This is kind
of a bad idea with Benoit still behind him. Sure enough, forearm in the
back puts Rock down. Benoit stomps. Forearm to the shoulder, again, Rock
put back in the ring and Benoit puts on the crossface!! Just like two
weeks ago, Rock is in the crossface, bugeyed, and Lesnar is nearby and
enjoying the sight. Crowd tries to will Rock to the ropes...he
reaches...just short. Benoit screams at Rock to tap - but just before
passing out, Rock opens his eyes, makes a dramatic face...and crawls those
last few inches to get the rope! Benoit is LIVID - elbowdrop to the back,
elbowdrop, into the ropes - no, Rock reverses and pulls Benoit into ROCK
BOTTOM! Aw, boo. 1, 2, 3. (11:28) Rock invites Lesnar
to Just Bring
It but he ain't goin' anywhere. Lesnar backs back up the ramp - hey! He
made the international "I want da belt!" sign! Credits are up and so am I
Comment about this article in Wienerville