UPN HYPE OF THE
"The Twilight Zone" - man, Forest Whitaker looks
DOWN, doesn't he? I wonder if it's 'cause the only TV project he can get
is a remake of an old show from some dead white guy ooooops let's move on
TV-PG-DLV - Attitude - Entertainment - WW!
Damn, I almost forgot ALL about that commitment ceremony!
Close captioned logo - opening credits - BEAUTIFUL
BIG FIST AND PYRO - once again, it's on. Coming atcher from the WORLD
(arena) in Colorado Springs, CO and SAP transmitido en espanol 19.9.2
(taped 17.9) it's a little show we like to call SMACKDOWN!
REY MYSTERIO v. NIDIA & JAMIE NOBLE in a mixed
Hey, there's a new ring announcer!
Man, but I
could have SWORN I saw him sitting at the timekeeper's table at RAW. OMG
ANOTHER COUP FOR STEPHANIE AS ANOTHER GUY YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT JUMPS SHIP
AND hey this match is already underway as Nidia pops Torrie one, double
leg by Torrie and there we go...knife edge chop! Chop! Whip is reversed,
Nidia's head down, Torrie kicks, swinging neckbreaker gets 2. Into the
corner, nobody home on the charge. Nidia kicks, snap suplex and floatover
for 2. Tag to Noble...once again, we completely ignore that this is a
mixed tag as Noble goes for Torrie, pulling her away from a tag...but she
kicks him away and makes the tag. I suppose I should mention the return
of TAG ROPES! before you email me AGAIN. Mysterio off the top with a
springboard into a cannonball - wants a free shot on Nidia but she's gone
- back to Noble, elbow, elbow, into the corner, Noble upends him as he
comes in but he manages a headscissors pull into the turnbuckle, cover,
hooks the leg, 1, 2, no. Into the ropes is reversed, Noble presses him up
and shoves him into splat - seated dropkick by Noble, and HE gets 2.
Stomp between the shoulderblades, again, into the ropes, Mysterio hooks
the ropes and stops himself - Noble runs at him - boot up by Mysterio -
springs off the second rope into a body scissors...into a bulldog...1, 2,
Nidia makes the save! Mysterio turns round and Nidia takes off - the
chase is on outside the ring but Noble was laying in wait - big
clothesline down. Noble puts Mysterio back in the ring and covers - 1, 2,
*Wilson* makes the save! Noble grabs her on her way back...double
underhook, but before we get to see if he'd actually Pedigree her,
Mysterio is off the ropes with a dropkick to break it up - Nidia in,
Torrie ducks, clothesline, clothesline, into the ropes, follow
clothesline. Nidia flumps...Mysterio wants the bronco buster...but Torrie
stops him - SHE wants to do it! Tazz calls the "tomato buster." Noble
pulls Nidia out of the ring, sits in the corner and demands that she
perform the same move on HIM. Torrie fluffs her cleavage (huh?) then
leans forward...and Rey leapfrogs her and gives him HIS bronco buster!
Noble enjoys it until he learns he's just gotten a "cucumber buster."
Torrie adds a slap and Noble manages to land in PERFECT position for the
619. Mysterio is ready to give him the West Coast Pop, but Nidia grabs
the ankle - so Torrie gives HER a baseball slide dropkick! They stay out
on the floor; back in the ring, Noble ducks the springboard - Rey with a
gutshot, hops on his back as if to sunset flip but instead flips BACK into
the powerbomb! (That's Amazing Red's "Code Red" if you're following TNA -
or wanted to - or, if you're Cole, the "What the hell was THAT?!")
That'll be good enough for the 1, 2, 3. (4:05) Big hugs 'cause Torrie
gits AROUND. Replay of the sunset flip bomb.
In Stephanie's office, Reverend D-Von attempts to explain that Batista
didn't work for her, but for him. She tells him that firing Batista was a
big screwup - he'd better get Batista back on SmackDown! ...and if he
can't help her someone ELSE will get fired. As he leaves, Paul Heyman
enters. He's worried about the big main event at Unforgiven, so he's
hired a team of off-duty police officers to protect Brock Lesnar from The
Undertaker. Stephanie tells him that Theundertaker'swife Sara went into
false labor this morning, and went to the hospital. "Is he okay?
Because...if she's in the hospital, then he won't be on SmackDown!
tonight." Stephanie says Sara WAS in the hospital, but since she was
released, Taker has been trying desperately to make it to the show
tonight. She suggests he keep the security real close. Heyman mumbles
out a thanks and heads out - and the camera follows. "What'd she say?"
"The Undertaker's on his way." Off and away they, flanked on all sides by
the off-duty cops, start WALKING!
"WWE Live: The Moments Are Waiting" spot
Stacker 2 ad (Bubba)
I don't know WHY they're telling you about the upcoming shows for the RAW
Crew, but I don't know a LOT of things when you think about it. Saturday,
Fresno; Sunday is Unforgiven in Los Angeles, Monday is RAW in Anaheim,
Tuesday is San Diego! Whoops, they DID sneak a SmackDown! in at the end -
how confusing! This whole thing is confusing! CONFUSING!
out to start our Segment #2 and raises her arms as if to
say "LOOK AT MY BOOBS!" I smell an edit as she starts on THIS show with
"Now we all saw what RAW's general manager (Eric Bischoff) did right here
last week on SmackDown! But I'll admit, it was pretty impressive. But
there was one thing Bischoff obviously forgot and that was ya don't screw
with a McMahon. Because McMahons ALWAYS get even and that's exactly what
I did last Monday night on RAW. For those of you who missed it, I knew
Bischoff would fall for this phony women's protest." Let Us Take You Back
to RAW-- wait, why would RAW let SmackDown! show this footage? THAT DOES
NOT MAKE SENSE Strange that Billy & Chuck call their Devastation Device
"Code Red" given that we just saw *another* Code Red in the first match...
"So after I...crushed Bischoff's testicles, and Billy & Chuck crushed
Rosey & Jamal, Eric Bischoff issued an interpromotional tag team
challenge. Bischoff challenged his team, Rosey & Jamal, to face
SmackDown!'s team of Billy & Chuck this Sunday at Unforgiven. And then he
made the following stipulations." Let Us Take You Back to RAW...again.
"Now Bischoff, as far as the match is concerned, well...you're on. And as
far as the stipulations go, well I will address those later tonight in our
live video satellite chat. But for now allow me to introduce you to the
tag team that will defeat Rosey & Jamal at Unforgiven
thegreatesttagteaminWWEhistory, BILLY &
CHUCK!" They *still* come out to
the same music...how CONFUSING! Chuck's in leather pants while Billy opts
for tight black jeans - but they're straight now. Billy's first:
"Stephanie, we just wanna set the record straight - so to speak. Now we
loved gettin' back at Rosey & Jamal on RAW. And we're gonna love beatin'
'em this Sunday. But after that, I mean, I can't speak for Chuck, but
things are a little cloudy for me...Billy Gunn. I mean, there's a couple
different ways I can go here. One way is I can stay teamed up with Chuck
- another way is I can pursue my singles career. So what I'm sayin' is--"
"Whoa whoa whoa whoa hey yo hold up yo. So what you're sayin' is...you go
both ways? No problem, there's no shame in that, I mean...you can go both
ways." "Well that's right. And Chuck...I know how excited you are to go
down...to Los Angeles this Sunday and beat the crap outta Rosey & Jamal at
Unforgiven!" Geez, this show is using A LAFF TRAKK. How sad is this?
"Fact is, Steph...we'll be there Sunday. And if Eric Bischoff's not down
with that..(starts to chop his crotch)..I got two words for 'im!" Just in
interrupts with music and evoked chant. "Whoa whoa whoa
whoa - hold on a second! When did SmackDown! turn into a bad episode
of...'Three's Company?' You guys are PATHETIC! Last week was the WORST
attempt at a publicity stunt I have ever seen! You know, I generated a
little publicity of my own back in 1996 in Atlanta. And you wanna know
how? Well I certainly didn't try to make out with Carl Lewis, I can
assure you of that, oh no! I won an Olympic Gold Medal with a broken
freakin' neck! THAT'S how you get publicity!" "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa, Kurt...slow down a minute, take it easy. I mean...use your
head, let's think about this for a moment. I mean...what do you think the
people mean when they say... (sings) You Suck / You Suck / You Suck / You
Suck!" "Oh, that's real cute, Chuck. If you're trying to imply that I'm
gay...well I'm not. Hey - hey, I don't have a problem with gays...in
fact, gay people LOVE me! EVERYBODY loves me! I'm freakin' adorable!"
He is, you know. "So Chuck...if you wanna try to insult me...then why
don't either one of you meet me in the ring tonight?" Pause for "You
suck" chant. "Chuck, if you wanna try to insult me, then why don't either
one of you meet me in the ring tonight, and we'll see which one of us
SUCKS!" Angle checks himself...no, that's okay to say. "Yeah." "Hang on
a second, Kurt...if Billy & Chuck are gonna compete tonight, then I want
them in tag team action to get ready for this Sunday." "Hey, that's fine
with me, Steph. I'll tag with ANYBODY back there. In fact, I'll let Will
& Grace down there pick my tag team partner for me! THAT'S how confident
I am!" This just in: "Will & Grace" premieres tonight on NBC - change
channel now! Huddle in the ring. "Okay, Kurt...YOU picked this one.
Tonight In This Very Ring, it will be the tag team of Billy & Chuck facing
the team of Kurt Angle and his partner...also, his opponent this Sunday at
Unforgiven, Chris Benoit!" "Whoa whoa hold on a second Steph, come on,
Steph...me team up with Benoit? Steph, that's a hard one to swallow - no
no, wait, wait a minute, that's not what I meant to say! Hey that's not
funny! What I meant to say is...I don't care who I team up with...because
I'm gonna be the one to climb on top of either Billy or Chuck for the 1,
2, 3...no, wait - wait! It's not freakin' funny! LISTEN! What I meant
to say is...I'm gonna be the one to throw your legs up over your head for
the pinfall - no! No, wait a minute, wait a minute...for...I'll see you
in the freakin' ring!" So of course, play Stephanie's music!
Backstage, the cops rough up the hapless stagehands lining the hallways
(cops - I tell ya, what an attitude) as Heyman instructs Lesnar. "Keep
your mind on your opponent, okay? In, F-5, and out, and it's over." The
cops stop - apparently, they're paid to protect him backstage but they
ain't going out to the ring. Heyman asks Lesnar to please do this
quickly. "Not a problem." And off they go...alone...
"Forceable Entry" spot
The WWE Boot of the Week is broken down LUGZ style! From last week, Taker
throttles Heyman, Lesnar chairs Taker, then Lesnar tells Sara that life's
KING BROCK LESNAR (WWE Champion -
Minneapolis, Minnesota - 295 pounds -
with Paul Heyman) v. JOHN CENA (West Newbury, Massachusetts - 240 pounds -
orange and blue...old Broncos?) in a nontitle
referee: MIKE SPARKS
Lesnar is smiling - Cena is...intense. Heyman is skittish on the outside.
Okay, here we go! Cena ducks under, grabs Cena and throws him. Quick
cover for 2. Lesnar grabs a leg but lets it go as Cena's in the ropes.
Lesnar dares him to get up and challenge him. Lockup...Cena side
headlock, floating into a hammerlock - Lesnar quickly reverses and puts a
forearm to the back of his head. Elbowdrop to the back. Lesnar on the
back, full nelson - and now another elbowdrop. Did Lesnar look to and fro
for Taker? Lesnar picks up Cena slowly - Cena with a right, right, Lesnar
with a knee - belly-to-belly overhead suplex by Lesnar. Got the arm -
kicks the ribs, stomp, stomp, stomp. Forearm across the ribs - knee to
the ribs - knee - say, I think he's picked a body part. Lesnar nudges him
to the mat with his boot. Gutshot - mauls him down and drops the elbow
again. Lesnar keeps his head down with his boot. Cena tries a gutshot -
Lesnar stomps again. Lesnar looks to the entryway one more time. Cena
brought up - holding - half hour suplex. Cover, hand on the face, 1, 2,
Cena lifts the shoulder. Lesnar punishes the small of the back - and now
applies a bearhug. Both men lying on the mat - Cena crawls to the ropes -
but Lesnar turns to a bridge - 1, 2, Cena's up! Cena again reaches for a
rope..gets it and Sparks forces Lesnar to break the waistlock. Lesnar
simply pulls him back in and applies it again. Cena tries a back elbow -
again - Lesnar turns to the bridge - 1, 2, no. Lesnar STILL has the
waistlock locked in - Cena back elbow, back elbow, back elbow, back elbow,
back elbow back to his feet, back elbow, back elbow, back elbow, back
elbow - Lesnar with a death suplex...then goes right back to the hold.
Lesnar with a big forearm across the back. Heyman asking him to make it a
little quicker. Lesnar picks up Cena - drops him in a gutbuster - and
make it two. Stomps the stomach - stomp - stomp. Heyman making the
"let's go" pantomime, and once again Lesnar casts furtive glance in the
direction of the ramp. Cena gets up two boots as Lesnar walks in -
jawbreaker by Cena - elbow, elbow, elbow, ducks a swing from Lesnar,
dropkick! But Lesnar runs him into the turnbuckle. Whip into the ropes,
Cena tries for a crucifix...but Lesnar stops him in mid-move - hoists him
on his shoudlers - and hits the Key on My Keyboard to end it all. 1, 2,
Lesnar would like to stay and gloat but Heyman is insistent
that they head backstage to their waiting security.
TONIGHT: Edge &
Rikishi vs. Eddie & Chavo Guerrero!
We must be running a little short, because here's a pretty good chunk of
the "Confidential" piece on Rikishi for no apparent reason and with no
Speaking of the Keesh, you can meet him Friday at the Heyward Popeyes
chicken! Then you can see him Saturday in the only WWE event of the year
in San Jose! Wow, from all those TV tapings and PPV events to...one house
show all year? Times MUST be tough!
Commentators shill UPN's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Haunted" - the
other side of Tuesday
Outside the building, a waiting WWE camera spies...nothing yet
The graphic don't lie: Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE title!
WWE Desire, and another glimpse at The Undertaker, set to "Adrenaline:"
"You desire to be in this business - you sacrifice. You sacrifice the
time with your kids, you miss 'em growin' up, but you have a goal in mind.
You know that one day, all the sacrifices you make - it's gonna make it
easier for your children. You just hope you're there to enjoy it. ... I
love the fact that I can go out there, and I can affect people's emotions.
I enjoy goin' out there and layin' it all out on the line. I like takin'
my body to the limit. I love what I do. ... For the fans that have
watched me over all these years, I just hope they realise that, that I
gave everything that I had in mind, body and spirit."
Chavo meets Eddie - he says he still has the smell of (a probably not nice
Spanish word) on his face. "I took a shower, bro." "Let me ask you a
question, have you ever gotten stinkfaced? I KNOW YOU... I know you
haven't. (Spanish) He's disrespected me for the last time, and I'm
talkin' about Edge ese holmes. I promise you one thing, ese - his pretty
little face after tonight is NEVER gonna be the same, and after tonight, I
guarantee that he's never gonna lack respect for Latino Heat ever again!"
UP NEXT: The
same match we hyped at the end of LAST segment
The Burn of the Night is brought to you by Stacker 2! From last week,
Edge turns the tables just in time...and Eddie smells Chavo's wedgie
EDGE (Toronto, Ontario - 240 pounds -
with "Forceable Entry" CD cover) and
RIKISHI (American Samoa - 350 pounds - with SmackDown! is brought to you
by Stacker 2, Maxim hair colour for men, and JVC's Tower of Power HX
Series) v. EDDIE & CHAVO GUERRERO (El Paso, Tejas - 443
The Keesh wants to start, and it looks
like he'll meet Chavo - hey, commentators make mention of the piece we saw
earlier, saying Rikishi feels he's gotten a second chance at life and
wants to make the most of it. Chavo shuffles, then lands a slap in the
face - so Keesh goozles him...Eddie's in from behind, but Keesh pops him
with a right, right for Chavo, for Eddie, Chavo with a gutshot, off the
ropes, sunset flip, no...Chavo rolls out of the way before Keesh can drop
the cheeks - rolls to Edge, who pops him, then Keesh clotheslines him
down. Tag to Edge - right, right, right, right, into the ropes, flying
clothesline. Boot to the head. Picks him up, into the ropes, biiig back
body drop. Eddie in, Edge clotheslines HIM down. Half nelson faceplant
for Chavo gets 2. Right hand. Into the ropes, reversed, Chavo puts him
over the top to the floor, then distracts Rikishi and Hebner - on the
outside, Eddie grabs a chair and swings for the face...but only gets
ringpost. Edge right, right, Chavo in with a baseball slide dropkick to
turn it back - Eddie right, right, rolled in for Chavo. Tag to Eddie, who
the crowd things sucks. Eddie, elbow, elbow to the back of the head,
elbow, elbow, elbow to the back of the head...shuffling....right, right,
giving him what for verbally, boot to the head, tag to Chavo, springs over
the top with a knee in the back. European uppercut from Chavo. Head to
the buckle, kick, kick, kick, kick, stands on the neck until Hebner pulls
him off - they have a chat while Eddie throttles Edge from the corner -
and adds a foot in the back. Hebner finally back over to tell Eddie to
keep an arm on the OMG TAG ROPES! Chavo with a death suplex - a tag -
Eddie with the trademark senton in for 2. Back to the stick and move -
right hand, whip is reversed and Edge fires off a powerslam! Crawling to
Keesh...but Eddie puts an elbow in the back, then cheapshots Rikishi to
bring him in. Chavo with a help on the doubleteam. Eddie bringing Edge
into the corner - took too long, though - tornado DDT is thrown off!
Edge crawling....tag to Chavo, HOT TAG to Keesh! Right for Chavo, for
Eddie, for Chavo, for Eddie, double clothesline - walks into a double
gutshot from the Guerreros...but he blocks, blocks, and DOUBLE SUPLEXES
the Guerreros! Chavo takes a fat ass splash in the corner - opposite
corner for a fat ass splash on Eddie - each man staggers and somehow they
manage to PERFECTLY time their flumps! Keesh looks to and fro and settles
on christening Chavo. Over to Eddie - but he's up, so he gives him a
right hand - from the outside, Chavo has relieved a cameraman of his
camera - back in the ring, Edge is back in, clotheslining Eddie (and
himself) out - Keesh over to Chavo - CLOCKED with the camera! Chavo in
and hooks the leg - 1, 2, 3! (5:40) Edge back in and
shoves Eddie out
- Chavo from behind, into the ropes, Edge ducks, SPEAR! But Eddie is back
in and he's brought a chair with him - WHACK! Right in the head. Hebner
is irate but can only elicit a sneer from Guerrero. Yep, Edge is
bleeding. Replay from the weapon in question - and the chairshot.
Via satellite is Eric Bischoff - we'll hear from him...oh, and
Unforgiven spot - Lesnar/Taker hyped
TV-PG-DLV - there's THe World! Go there and watch Unforgiven! Scotty 2
Hotty will be there!
From her desk, Stephanie introduces Eric Bischoff for a split-screen
simulcast. I am experiencing great pain...ain't no way in HELL I'm gonna
transcribe this crap. Let's fast forward
IT'S the impressive marquee of the World Arena - allegedly in the shadow
of Pike's Peak! (Christopher Pike?)
MATT HARDY (Cameron, North Carolina -
234 pounds - with "Forceable Entry"
CD cover) v. THE HURRICANE (Parts Unknown - 215 pounds - with Anaheim
Hey, the ring
announcer gets some chyron
love - let's all hear it for JASON
ROBERTS. Did you ever see that SNL
skit where Jimmy Smits goes to work at a television station and EVERYBODY
there overexaggerates their Latino pronunciation of every word? Even Bob
Costas! ("The 49ers of sonfronSEESco!") That's kinda how Roberts sounds.
Also, I'm just jealous so pay me no heed. Speaking of mic work, time to
hear from v.1: "Hurricane...you're probably wondering why I asked for
this match tonight. Well let me explain. You see, I consider you a
friend, and I see potential in you, kid." "We want Jeff!" "So I wanted
to give you the privlige of stepping into the ring with someone who just
last week defeated The Undertaker, and that someone is Matt Hardy Version
1!" Wow, they ARE gonna bring it up - good for them. Here we go!
Lockup, throw by Hardy - who climbs the ropes to pose. Booo! Hurricane
offers the Hand of Friendship but Hardy gives it the brushoff. Lockup,
Hardy with a quick schoolboy for 2 - and let's the world know about it.
Crowd continues to chant for Jeff. Lockup, arm wringer by Hardy,
Hurricane rolls through, back up and reverses to a side headlock - Hardy
right, right, powers out, tries for a hiptoss but Hurricane rolls him up
for 2. Hurricane does his own "THAT close!" sign and strikes the
superhero pose - and Hardy punches him one. Hardy plays to the crowd -
when he turns back around, Hurricane is leaping on him with an Austin
press and seven or eight rights - climbing up top...flying crossbody press
- 1, 2, no! Onsale crawl. Hurrichokeslam? No. Hardy with back elbows
and then a swinging neckbreaker to get out. Head to the buckle. Forearm
in the back, forearm, forearm, forearm, forearm, forearm. Snapmares him
over - standing elbowdrop. "Ass hole!" Cover, 1, 2, no. Hurricane
gutshot, right, Hardy with a forearm in the back - into the ropes, but
Hurricane comes off with a crossbody block - right, off the ropes, into a
back elbow from Hardy, Hardy fistdrop, mounts and five rights. "We want
Jeff!" Scoop...and throated on the rope. Sidewalk slam - 1, 2, no.
Crowd tries on "We want Lita!" Hurricane gutshot, right, right, right,
whip is reversed into a gutshot by Matt, wants the Twist of Fate but
Hurricane shoves him off, then hits a neckbreaker as he staggers back.
Both men are down and Sparks puts on the count. Nobody moving and he's
already up to five...both men spring up at six, though - Hurricane with
"Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," right, gutshot by Matt, off the ropes
but runs into a flying clothesline, clothesline by Hurricane, head to the
buckle, second rope into a semi-blockbuster neckbreaker - 1, 2, Hardy
kicks out! Hardy into the corner, but gets the boot up to put Hurricane
down - ahhhhhhh drop MISSES - Hurricane with the Shining Wizard - 1, 2,
NO!! Hurricane right, right, Hardy ducks the next one and hits the Side
Effect - 1, 2, NO! Hardy scoop...Hurricane down the back and hits the Eye
of the Hurricane! 1, 2, NO! Hurricane goes for it all, climbing up
top...Hardy sees him, though, and buries a fist in the gut.
Gutshot...Twist of Fate attempt is countered into an attempted backslide,
but as Hardy fights that, he "accidentally" takes a swing at Sparks and
when he ducks it, Hardy's trick knee acts up. Twist of Fate is suddenly a
lot easier - and that's his move. 1, 2, 3. Hardy's suddenly got himself
a win streak! (5:57)
Here's that Special Video Look at Chris Benoit again
Outside the arena, it's.....just some SUV driving by. Not Taker. Sorry.
Hey how about some more live events? Saturday is San Jose, Sunday you've
heard about, Monday is Santa Barbara, and Tuesday is San Diego! Will my
brother gives us a spoiler report? Come back and check!
Heyman begs Lesnar to leave...but then, deciding that Taker is probably
right outside the back door waiting for them, he says maybe they'll just
stay here all night instead. CONFUSING!
Your hosts are MICHAEL KING COLE &
TAZZ. Let's run down that big, big,
big Unforgiven card! (Hmm, I wonder if I'll get a chance to GET this
pay-per-view.) The World Championship will be defended when Triple H
meets Rob van Dam! Eight man tag - the Un-Americans take on Bubba Ray
Dudley, Booker T, Kane and Goldust! Chris Jericho has the
intercontinental championship PhotoShop'd onto his graphic AW GEEEZ anyway
he'll hook it up with Ric Flair. Molly suddenly has no last name and her
title will be on the line against Trish, who ALSO has no last name!
Don't think it's only a RAW card, though - it'll be downright
interpromotional when Billy & Chuck meet Jamal & Rosey with stipulations
galore! Kurt Angle collides with Chris Benoit! Edge clashes with Eddie
Guerrero! And last but certainly not least, The Undertaker gets his shot
at WWE Champion Brock Lesnar! ORDER NOW!
Angle and Benoit don't seem to be getting along! How will they handle
Billy & Chuck...NEXT!?
"Hulk Still Rules" DVD ad
It's now time for the WWE Smack of the Night! From last week, Chris
Benoit takes a stinkface as Angle takes back some yuks
KURT ANGLE (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania -
237 pounds - with Rulon Gardner &
Kevin Jackson are in the front row! - and Tazz has a copy of RAW Magazine
with Angle on the cover) and CHRIS BENOIT (Edmonton, Alberta - 229 pounds
- with "Forceable Entry" CD cover) v. BILLY & CHUCK (534 pounds - with Let
Us Take You Back 2 Weeks)
No headbands but
otherwise Billy & Chuck look the same. Benoit and Angle having a bit of a
dispute about who will start things out for their team. They bump a bit
but eventually Angle *does* head back to the corner and lets Benoit start
against Chuck. Lockup, to the corner...Benoit reverses, knee, elbow.
Into the ropes, reversed, Benoit up and over, Chuck wants the hiptoss but
doesn't get it, right by Benoit, knee by Chuck, double underhook into the
throw, dropkick by Chuck - Angle visibly amused by this...and Benoit,
spotting Angle, is visibly NOT amused. Benoit walks over and chops Angle
for the tag. Angle stops laughing. One more look to Benoit...then runs
into a hiptoss from Chuck. Right by Chuck - whip is reversed, Angle with
a back elbow. Angle looks to Benoit as if to say "see, that ain't too
hard" - then turns back to eat a big clothesline. Leg is hooked, 1, 2,
no. Benoit starts laughing. Tag to Billy - Angle heads him off, right,
right, right, right, right, into the opposite corner is reversed, Billy
clothesline, into the ropes, tilt-a-whirl slam, leg is hooked, 1, 2, no.
Angle staggers back to his feet - and gets clotheslined out of the ring!
Billy slides out and the chase is on - but Benoit takes advantage,
blindsiding Billy with a clothesline on the floor! Billy put back in -
Angle stomps, kick, kick, kick, stomp, snap suplex. Is the crowd chanting
"USA?" CONFUSING! 1, 2, Billy's out. Easy tag to Benoit, held open for
the kick. Right hand, right by Billy, right, into the corner is reversed
and Billy hits hard - then backs into the German suplex! Benoit holds on
for two - and holds on for three! Benoit releases the waistlock...asks
Angle if he wants some of this, but then goes back and stomps Billy.
Angle DOES get the tag - right, Billy gutshot, off the ropes and goes for
the Fame-Ass'er but Angle evades THAT and now HE'S gonna German suplex
Billy - twice - three times - and even Benoit will give Angle props as he
stops to take a bow. Angle covers, but Billy's out at 2. Angle floats
over into a front facelock. Crowd isn't exactly lighting a torch for
Billy but he still manages to get back to his feet - gutshot, again,
breaks it right, right, off the ropes...into a belly-to-belly throw by
Angle! Angle is measuring Billy...then decides to pop Chuck and get him
off the apron while he's waiting. Back up behind Billy - Olympic Slam
attempt is shrugged off - Billy manages the One and Only cobra clutch
slam! But he can't follow up - both men are down. Chuck back on the
apron and reaching for the tag - Angle manages to make it to Benoit (who
is not using the OMG TAG ROPES!) but there's a HOT TAG TO CHUCK! Chuck
clothesline! Right hand! Right! Right for Angle! But Benoit sneaks in
a body blow when Chuck turns back. Chuck into the ropes, no reversed,
powerslam by Chuck! But Angle is up under Chuck - OLYMPIC SLAM! But
*Billy* is in with a Fame-Ass'er to Angle! But Benoit has German suplex
number SEVEN for Billy! BUT Chuck is up from behind Benoit with a double
underhook belly-to-belly for Benoit! Tries the Jungle Kick on Angle...but
he catches it and drops down with the anklelock! Well now I don't think
Angle's legal but who's counting...perhaps Benoit, since he CLOCKS his own
partner and then throws him out of the ring! Benoit on Chuck with the
crossface...but before he can tap, Billy is in to break it up - Angle on
the apron and Billy punches him off - right by Benoit on Billy, kick,
kick, right, right, whip into the opposite corner is reversed into Chuck's
JUNGLE KICK - 1, 2, 3!! (6:55)
As the triumphant duo heads back up the
ramp, Angle reenters the ring to check on Benoit - check that, to give him
the OLYMPIC SLAM and ANGLELOCK!! BENOIT TAPS!!! Chioda isn't having much
luck getting Angle to break the hold - bring out some more REFS, but that
only works for a while - Angle puts it back on, but THIS time Benoit turns
in and counters into the CROSSFACE! Now *Angle* taps! The refs finally
get them separated, but...
Backstage, The Taker has arrived - and The Taker - IS - WALKING!! Several
people react as we watch him head down the hallways - best cameo reaction,
of course, is by Tajiri
Unforgiven spot - Triple H/van Dam hyped
Stacker 2 spot #2 (Bubba again)
Meet Keesh at Popeyes local spot #2 - I should note that they're STILL
hypeing Kane/Lesnar as the main event, so who knows
"Forceable Entry" ad - that Matt Pinfield sure is ANGRY when he's sober,
Five minutes left in the show and hey wait - is it just me or does
have new music yet AGAIN? CONFUSING! Anyway, he's got something to say.
"Tonight's got nothing to do with business - this is strictly personal.
Brock Lesnar, I'm standin' here, I'm gonna teach you a lesson. So you get
your ass out here, or I WILL come back there and find you! ... Lesnar,
last week you said ...as you put your hand on my wife and unborn child,
that life is a bitch! Well I'm here to tell ya, punk, PAYBACK'S a bitch!"
The music plays and although HEY,
valiantly (ha) tries to block the
way, KING BROCK
LESNAR continues to make a slow advance down the
towards the man waiting for him in the ring. Lesnar finally shoves Paul
to the ground and hits the ring - shoudler to the gut to the corner,
shoulder, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder...backs up and mouths off
to him ohhhhh that's a mistake, and sho nuff Taker turns it round and
rains down soupbones and lefts - Heyman calls to the back - soupbone,
soupbone puts Lesnar out of the ring just in time as MATT HARDY hits the
ring and tries to climb on Taker's back - Taker has little trouble shaking
him off but Heyman and Lesnar are already making their way around the ring
- before Taker can figure it out, Hardy is on his back again...Taker beats
him down and brings the soupbones, but by now Heyman and Lesnar are long
gone. Taker finally exits the ring and heads after them...
Backstage, Heyman has the phalanx of cops stand in the way. "My client
has been placed in what they call protective custody - and that's not just
for his benefit, that's for YOUR benefit!" Saying he'll see them in three
days, he leads the (cuffed? CONFUSING!) Lesnar into the police car and
they drive off, leaving Taker alone with the credits - and frustrated!
Comment about this article in Wienerville