/29 April 1999
WWF Smack Down!
THIS is a UPN Special Presentation!
One World Leader Attitude - WWF!
Last Sunday on Backlash, Austin defeated the Rock after a nice beltshot and Stunner. Monday, the Rock had a problem with Shane, Shane had a problem with the Rock, a match was signed - it was very short. The Mean Street Posse was no help, but Triple H had a bit more luck. Also at Backlash, the Undertaker kidnapped Stephanie (and a camerman). At Monday, lots of fun stuff happened with Vince, the Undertaker, Stephanie, Paul Bearer, and then Steve Austin. If you hear the term "black wedding," take a drink!
It's WWF SMACK DOWN! broadcast for the very first time on the United Paramount Network (slogan: "We ARE TOO a Nationwide Television Network!") and apparently also TSN 29.4.98 (but taped 27.4) from the Unnamed Arena in New Haven, CT.
Your hosts are Michael King Cole and James E. Cornette.
Please welcome STEPHANIE & VINCENT K. (wisely introduced in that order) - oh and FOUR COPS - to the ring with no music. "I'm extremely proud to stand before you here tonight, and even more proud to be standing next to my daughter Stephanie. However, I'm proud of a lot of my personal accomplishments, but not some of my business ones, and - and you're right, I have been that. You're right, I've been that, and hopefully I can change." Vince is actually SMILING to the "asshole" chant - aww, look at that big lug. "That has been me. In my business life, there's no question I have been ruthless, uncaring of others...in the past, certainly I've stepped on a few toes, I dare say I've even crushed a few. I've all done it in the name of business, and sometimes I've done it at the expense of my family. So, I have an opportunity now to do something about that and tonight I take the first step in regaining control of my own company. I know that I will certainly be competitive, no doubt, I'll be a competitive SOB as far as my company is concerned, but along the way in the future I'm going to stop, smell the roses, and I'm going to thank those individuals who have helped me become the success that I am. And I'm gonna start, by the way, by thanking tonight, not only the World's Most Dangerous Man, but a man who is at least that loyal - I'd like to thank Ken Shamrock for helping Stephanie. I'd like to thank as well - I'd like to thank the Big Show - I'd like to thank him and his heart that's every bit as big as his 500 pound body, again for coming to the aid of Stephanie - and most especially I would like to thank Stone Cold Steve Austin." Stephanie gets the mic. "I would also like to personally thank Ken Shamrock, the Big Show and most importantly Stone Cold Steve Austin for helping me with the Undertaker on Monday night. I was taken against my will, stripped of my clothes, [big pop] and dressed - and dressed in a black gown for an unholy wedding. And I have never felt so powerless and violated in all my life. The Undertaker, he kept, he kept TOUCHING me. [Another big pop - you're sick!] And whispering in my ears that I was his, and there was nothing I could do about it. So Steve, I'd just like to say, from the bottom of my heart and my soul, for whatever reason you did it, thank you. I will never forget what you did for me. And Undertaker, I hope you BURN in HELL." "So Stone Cold, I hope you can hear me, because tonight I'd like to make a promise. I'd like to make a promise to you, Stone Cold. I'd like..." And "No Chance in Hell" starts up - cue the CORPORATION. Is it just me or is Test not with them tonight? The "asshole" chant is heartier for Shane, go figure. "First of all, what are you doing here? You know what, never mind I don't even want to hear it. I have to address one thing. Last Monday night, when the Undertaker abducted Stephanie, do you not think that myself or the entire Corporation would have been there for my own flesh and blood, my sister, if something bad were to have happened? Do you not think I would have been there for you? What kind of a human being do you think I am?" "What kind of a human being do I think you are, Shane? I think that-" "Shut your mouth - that's enough out of you, I don't even want to hear it anymore. All of a sudden, Vince McMahon is out here apologising for how you used to run business? What happened to the most ruthless tycoon in the history of the world? You all of a sudden grew a conscience overnight? And then it makes me sick to my stomach, I almost regurgitated in the back - you're out here thanking Stone Cold Steve Austin for saving your precious little daughter Stepahnie? Daddy's little girl? Well, to steal a line from Stone Cold Steve Austin, you know what? As it related it comes to business, I don't give a rat's ass about Daddy's little girl, I don't give a rat's ass about Stone Cold, and I don't give a rat's ass about you." "Well, maybe you should give a rat's ass about this..." and Vince almost gets to throw a punch, but Triple H and Chyna stand in the way. Shane calls them off. "You better step back - in fact, you know what? You better get your Attitude out of my face, Vince, before I slap the wrinkles out of yours! Now you may leave, and take your precious little daughter withya. Get to steppin'! This is my show! I'm running things around here. See ya!" "You know Shane, one day, you may be a man. Tonight you're acting like a petulent little boy." They make their leave while Shane continues to act the asshole. Apparently, they're in the limo on their way home. "Now that that little nuisance is over, let me get down to business this evening." There are two thorns in Shane's side (thorn in your side? Geez, that sounds familiar) - the Rock and Steve Austin. Shane says tonight, they can team up. Now for some opponents...Triple H is quick to volunteer. So's everybody else in the corporation. But the lights go out - BONG - "Austin, this past Monday, you ruined a very special ceremony. I was only moments away from making Stephanie McMahon my bride and servant. Sese Austin, what you've done is stick your nose in a place where it had no business. Monday night you played the role of the spoiler. Tonight, I play mulitple roles. Judge, jury, executioner. And even...coroner." so I guess HE'LL be the other opponent. "Can you feel the power of Shane McMahon? And why does this all happen? 'Cause Shane said so."
Tonight, the New Age Outlaws take on Kane & X-Pac for the tag team titles - Big Bossman takes on Mankind - and Ken Shamrock takes on Bradshaw in a Street Fight!
Backstage, we see Jeff Jarrett and Debra - and they're WALKING! They're wondering where Owen is...
Elsewhere, we see...the Blue Blazer? "The WWF needs a superhero - and I'm here to bring 'em one! Wooooo!" If I tell you that that Blue Blazer sounds exactly like Owen Hart, will you smile with me?
VAL VENIS v. ? - gee, I was WONDERING where the ol' Blazer had gotten to. Let Us Take you back to RAW and show you Venis ogle Debra, and Nicole Bass...er...yeah. Val gets the mic and tells us that his dick's hard or something. JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET & DE-BRA make their way to the ring as we learn that Owen was the scheduled opponent, but he isn't around. "Val, I don't know where the hell Owen's at, and it (beep)s me off but tonight, you can consider me his replacement. Right the damn bell..." but before it starts up, the BLUE BLAZER slides in the ring and attacks from behind. The worst part about this is we don't get to hear his cool music! Off the ropes, back body drop. Slam. To the top rope - missile dropkick. Head to the buckle, kicks, chop (wooo!), chop (wooo!). Venis reverses a whip into the corner, but misses an elbowsmash following in. But Venis finally turns it around in the corner - punches, kicks - God, his poor cape is just being destroyed here. Whip into the corner is reversed, but the big boot is up. Whip, follow clothesline. Again. Off the ropes, back elbow, elbow drop. Vertical suplex. Second rope elbow. Now Debra's up on the apron, and Val's doing his grind. But he's not distracted enough - he catches the Blazer with a kick and a Perfectplex - but Jarrett is in, and he kicks him in the nuts behind the back of referee "Blind" Mike Chioda. 1, 2, 3. (2:19) Hey, we DO get to hear that cool Blazer music! NICOLE BASS is out as you might expect, and Val takes off, as you might expect. Bass follows. What you might NOT expect is that after all this, GODFATHER makes his way to the ring, leaving behind his four - no, two ho's. He actually approaches jogging! Clothesline for Jarrett, clothesline for Blazer. Punch, punch. They're out. He turns to Debra...and is distracted long enough for her tag team to regroup and strike from behind. The doubleteam is on - cue the music!
Locker room look at the Rock. He's smelling it.
"WWF Wrestling is brought to you in part by 1-800-COLLECT and Gatorade!"
And here's the first appearance tonight of Steve Austin and D'Lo Brown in their touching, sensitive, heartfelt 1-800-COLLECT ad.
KEVIN KELLY works tonight! Backstage with the Blazer. "Well, Blue Blazer, it's been a while since we've seen you here in the WWF. To what do we owe the honour?" "Well, Kevin, it's quite simple. The Blue Blazer is back in the WWF because the WWF NEEDS the Blue Blazer back." "Needed for what, Owen?" "Owen? I'm not Owen - where is Owen, I'm lookin' for Owen Hart too! Where is he? Anyway, the conditions here in the WWF have become deplorable! There's - there's too much...............CLEAVAGE! And that, that...Val...I can't even say his last name but you know what it rhymes with - I can't even say it, but he's deplorable - everything is deplorable here in the WWF." "But WHY you?" "Why me? Because the WWF NEEDS a superhero like the Blue Blazer! One that can protect good from evil! And one last thing in closing, to all my little Blue Blazer - take your vitamins, say your prayers, and drink your milk! Wooooooo!"
WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW v. TEST - you know, I could SWEAR I've seen this match like a MILLION times already. Apparently, last Monday Test was removed from the Corporation - here's some clips to retroactively tell that story. BIG BOSSMAN appears on the top of the ramp and looks on. Test strikes but this IS the Big Show, you know - whip is reversed. DROPKICK! There again is ahhhhhTHECHOKESLAM (THE Pogo Pete used that phrase in a recent DVDVR! I can DIE happy!) and if you think this match is about as long as the last time we saw it, well, you're right. 1, 2, 3. (:47) Bossman comes in and stares down the big man, then thinks better of it and leaves. Wight walks off, and Bossman gets back in the ring to lay some nightstick down on Test. Back into the ring comes the Big Show, and off goes the Big Bossman. I smell feud! Big vs. Big! Replays of the dropkick (judicious camera angle is from BELOW the apron) and chokeslam - hey, that's like every wrestling move in this match, Herb!
THE ROCK makes his way to the ring. Damn, I'm older than the Rock. Damn, SHANE'S older than the Rock! "Shane McMahon, Triple H, last Monday on RAW, you two jabrone's decided to check BOTH your asses into the Smackdown Hotel! Now you go on and let me be the first one to break the bad news to you two roody poo - " and the crowd finishes it. Does he seem to not mind as much? Anyway, there'll be some foots in some asses and stuff. Before he finishes, I hear glass and here comes the ass - STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN comes to the ring in cap, vest and trunks. Austin thinks Rock's a punk kid spittin' out nursery rhymes. After some more mutual admiration, SKIPPY appears at the top of the ramp and stokes the asshole fire. His plan's getting bigger and better as we speak! The lights go out and BONG... out comes THE UNDERTAKER - they're standing side by side. "Are you beginning to understand? Are you beginning to feel the power? Well let me help spell it out for you just a little bit more." Out comes the CORPORATION - out comes the MINISTRY OF COMIC BOOK SALES - and if you can't figure out what it means to see all those people standing together, you haven't been paying attention to the past month or so of WWF television. "Austin - Rock - let me be the first to introduce you to the Corporate Ministry! And you guys better get it together and change your strategy!" Cole: "OH MY GOD!" Me: "Oh, come ON, Cole."
So does this mean no more "sacrfices?" Then I'm all for it!
Kevin Kelly interviews X-Pac & Kane - are they on the same page after Monday's happenings? (Let Us Take You Back to RAW where Kane got a bloodbath, then chokeslammed his partner over the barricade - then gave another chokeslam to him later in the show) Where does his loyalty lie? X-Pac: "You want things unpredictable? That's what you're gonna get." Kane: "...."
DROZ (with Prince Albert In a Can) v. D'LO BROWN (with Ivory and ... sigh) - Lockup, knees by Droz. Off the ropes, shoulderblock by D'Lo Brown - dueling hiptosses and D'Lo hits it. In the corner, pounding away. Whip into the opposite corner, Droz hits a back elbow coming out. Go figure, commentators talk about Shane and the Ministry. Right hands, off the ropes, powerslam by Droz - pose to the crowd - is he doing a Brown head bob there? Brown pops up and takes him off the ropes - running Whateverbomb! Right hand. Off the ropes, Droz kicks and hits a lariat after D'Lo puts his head down. Boot to the head. Off the ropes, leapfrog, D'Lo hits a kick to the face. Standing flourish legdrop. Right by Droz, right, right, off the ropes - Brown again catches him in a Sky-Hi. Up to the top - but before he can hit the 'Lo Down, Prince Albert shoves him off the ropes. Droz on him - whip reversed, and he runs into Prince Albert, who was standing on the apron. They tumble to the outside. PESCADO on both men from Brown! Rolled back in the ring - scoop slam - he's again going for the 'Lo Down, and again Prince Albert gets to the corner and shoves him off. He should pick a furter away corner. THIS time, since Albert's actually come into the ring, referee "Blind" Jim Korderas happens to notice, and calls for the bell. (DQ 3:16 - hmmm) Albert with a press slam. Albert goes for the piercing tools as we see Ivory run to the back - may we NEVER see a tongue piercing succeed, by the way - and - hey! It's SEXUAL CHOCKLIT MIZARK HENRY! dressed in his Biggie Smalls suit - Henry cleans house and there's a happy reunion in the centre of the ring.
Of course, this surprise was kinda ruined when the commentary team said "Mark Henry" for the first time in quite a while during the match. Umm, idiots?
Let's watch Sable go Hollywood! Why? Ummm....because she's there, I guess. This also is supposed to keep you from noticing she's not been in the arena lately....Pac Blue, Happy Hour, Extra, Regis, ET, TV Guide, Playboy, etc. Is it overkill yet? NEVER!
TV-PG-LV ratings box reappears as Kevin Kelly interviews the Outlaws in the back. Road Dogg does a lot of rhyming, but Gunn stops him short when Dogg says that X-Pac's a close personal friend and all. "FRIENDS?" Apparently, thar be no friends when it comes to the belts!
X-PAC & KANE v. NEW AGE OUTLAWS for the tag team championship - the Champs enter first because the WWF can't get this right. Also, they enter separately - can't waste a good entrance! A big deal is made of Gunn walking straight to the ring while Road Dogg stops to mug on the ramp. See, he's all business tonight and stuff, okay. Dogg does his spiel but Gunn don't want none of it and won't say "suck it" for the fans. HE'S ALL BUSINESS TONIGHT! Have you GOT it yet? Ha! Dogg and 'Pac start. Lockup, side headlock for X-Pac to a wristlock. Back elbow from the Dogg. Clothesline ducked, spinning heel kick from the Champ. Off the roepes, duck, hiptoss doesn't work, flippy knee thing, Dogg takes him down but he pops back up - spinning heel kick ducked, and Dogg takes him down. Staredown - mutual crotch chop. Gunn's unhappy about this and tags himself in - big shove for X-Pac, but before he can react to that, Kane tags HIMself in. Kane manhandles Gunn. repeated punches. Off the ropes, clothesline takes him down. Big legdrop. 1, 2, shoulder up. In the corner, kick, throat chop, whip into the opposite corner - Gunn weakly tries a - Gunn flip I guess. More chops, whip into the opposite corner, Gunn goes down. Notices they don't say "Mr. Ass" tonight - we're TV-PG here! Gunn tries an arm wringer but Kane clotheslines him. X-Pac demands a tag and he's in now. And he's down now. Maybe he was better off on the apron...leapfrog, dropkick by Gunn. Now punching away, and Dogg's noticably unhappy. Tag, Gunn holds him for Dogg but he won't take the shot. THEN he punches him after he lets go - oh well. 1, 2, no. Tag to Gunn. Whip into the corner, avalanche splash. Whip into the other opposite corner - THIS splash misses. X-Pac crawls to his partner - Gunn holds the leg but Kane extends the hand and makes the tag. Off the ropes, big boot. Dogg in - off the ropes, ducks, jukin' jivin' punchfest. Double dropkick takes Kane off his feet! Wiggly wobbly woofly kneedrop. But Kane pops up while Dogg's posing. Kane has Dogg in the choke - kick for Gunn - whoops, now he also has X-PAC in the choke - before we get the double chokeslam, Gunn kicks Kane again. Double whip, Kane hits a double clothesline. Kane works on Gunn while X-Pac hits the broncobuster on the Dogg. Gunn in the choke - but before we get the chokeslam (again) Dogg is behind with the Golotta - there's the fame'asser by Gunn! 1, 2, X-Pac makes the save. Gunn punches X-Pac and then gets on him bigtime. Dogg tells his partner to lay off their friend already BUT HE'S ALL BUSINESS. THERE ARE NO FRIENDS WHEN IT COMES TO THE BELTS! Anyway, Dogg returns to Kane - who punches him pretty good. Dogg stumbles and clips Gunn, who had X-Pac in a press - X-Pac lands on him and the pinfall is counted. (7:00) You know, I'm PRETTY sure neither X-Pac nor Gunn were the legal man for their team...oh sorry. Anyway, the Outlaws let it get away. You think blame will be spread? Oh hell yeah.
Stone Cold puts on his knee brace!
Speaking of Stone Cold, he pays for the calls when D'Lo calls collect. Does Mark Henry know D'Lo's messing around behind his back?
Let Us Take You Back to a replay. Gunn presses X-Pac, Kane pushes Dogg, who clips Gunn and X-Pac falls on him for the pin.
In the back, Gunn and Dogg do so much arguing that uberofficials Hebner, Garea and Slaughter have to break it up! Damn, Slaughter, no matter how long it gets in the back, it ain't comin' back on top, you know?
DOK HENDRIX works tonight! And he welcomes THE BROOD to the ring, who walk through a burning ring o' far. Good for Edge - he still wears his trenchcoat. Gangrel says a bunch of confusing stuff, but the gist is Undertaker held them back but no more. They search for ... ah hell, that man makes no sense at all. What happened to his cool Vampire accent? Christian says ... nothing. Edge says some stuff (Edge speaks!) but I can't get past that smile, those TEETH. They're the unholy trio, you know. Edge does a Captain Planet impersonation, then goes on to say that they "will become what we will become." That's DEEP, MAN. Oh, and the freaks come out at night, hahahahaha. Hendrix suggests that this whole thing is just a gimmick, and what are they smoking. Gangrel takes umbrage, and tells him HE'S the one that's "confused...isn't that right, MICHAEL?" The lights go out...and you BET there's a bloodbath. Awww, all that red stuff - all over that nice cream shirt 'n' pants! Dok looks a little pissed.
Mr. Ass stalks around backstage - he's lookin' for X-Pac.
Kevin Kelly interviews Ken Shamrock - we see clips from Monday where the Acolytes take out Shamrock. "You cost me that match against the Undertaker, Bradshaw - and tonight you will pay for that. Street fight rules - see, I was born on the street, I was raised to fight. I fought for space - but Bradshaw I want you to understand one thing. I'm gonna break your arms, I'm gonna break your legs, and I'm gonna break your spirit - and then when I'm through with all that, then I'm gonna beat the crap outta you some more. So you willing to lay it all on the line? I am. I'll see you in the ring, punk." Shamrock fails to say "knuckle up," "in the zone," or "let's get it on" but I don't mind all THAT much.
ACOLYTE BRADHSAW (with bat) v. KING KEN SHAMROCK in a New Haven Street Fight - well, they don't CALL it that, but...Shamrock runs the ramp to hit the surprise attack from behind. Shamrock swings the bat but only finds the post. Bradshaw takes Shamrock to the STEEL steps. In the ring - head to the buckle - whip into the opposite corner, follow lariat, again, pickup - fallaway slam. 1, 2, no. Right hand. Off the ropes, duck, Shamrock clips the leg. Off the ropes, single leg takedown - cover? No, rolled into a leglock. Bradshaw flails around and eventually finds the bottom rope. Hold broken, Bradshaw goes outside. Shamrock follows. Head to the STEEL steps. Whip into the timekeeper's table! Shamrock stomping away. Referee "Blind" Tim White suggests taking it back into the ring. Shamrock finds the bat on the outside - mighty swing finds only table. Bradshaw manages to fire back - back into the ring, procuring the bat along the way. Bat to the gut! Off the ropes, swing and a miss, Shamrock with another chop block. Now HE'S got the bat. There's a swing to the stomach. Shot to the head. Chokehold with the bat! Sign in crowd: "Only 89 days 'til RAW is JERICHO" Choke still on. Kind of a cobra clutch using the bat instead of the opponent's arm. Bradshaw ain't movin', White calls for the bell (chokeout 4:05) but the choke seems to be continuing. Shamrock's SNAPPED! The rest of the refs & officials bumble out, but nothing doing - that hold's ON, baby. SERGEANT SLAUGHTER makes another appearance - now Shamrock is taking the bat to HIM! Poor Sarge. He's just trying to do HIS JOB, MAAN.
Kevin Kelly interviews Mankind from the boiler room regarding his upcoming match with the Bossman. "Well, Kevin, as I was sitting in this boiler room, I suddenly had the feeling - doggone it, why don't we just call off the whole thing - forgive and forget, let bygones be forget but I realised that if we did that, I'D be out of a job and UPN would be out one Sports Entertainment spectacular. So for those of you who don't know me, let me explain myself! I sit in boiler rooms because I enjoy the ambiance! I wear a sweaty leather mask because it helps me sell little dolls. I wear a shirt and tie because it looks so damn good! And I will stuff this rancid sock that looks a lot like me down the gullet of the Bossman because I can! And because the fans seem to enjoy it quite a bit. Have a nice day!" We hear Billy Gunn walking around shouting for X-Pac, causing Mick to remark "God, what a whiner!"
Mankind Chef Boyardee ad during this break
Shane addresses the Corporate Ministry - no comment
BIG BOSSMAN v. MANKIND - Bossman strikes first - Bossman straddle! Big punches, clothesline ducked off the ropes. Double underhook DDT - he's going for the sock already! Bossman, seeing Mr. Socko, slides out of the ring - but TEST runs out from the ramp and takes Bossman back in the ring. Inside cradle for 2. Bossman gets in another shot, and there's a right, right, right, right, whee, Mankind ducks a charge, pulling the top rope with him and Bossman sails over the top. Test wears FUBU? And now WELLLL IT'S A BIG SHOW is out for no reason other than to press Bossman over the top rope from the floor - well, that's kinda impressive actually. Mr. Socko applied to the mandible - nighty night. (1:35) There's a good look at that sock - hey, that's not blood! I must have been mistaken on Monday when I foolishly listened to Cornette instead of reading hundreds of emails!
Gunn's found X-Pac - and he's WAILING on the lad. Kane makes a save! Gunn stalks off - he's not through with them yet, though.
Look! There's the Rock! And he's - he's - why, he's WALKING!
And here's Stone Cold - and - and - HE'S ALSO WALKING! My head's about to explode from all this exciting WALKING!
TRIPLE H (with That Slut Chyna & Mean Street Posse) & UNDERTAKER (with Skippy & Paul Bearer) v. THE ROCK & STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN - I'm just a LITTLE worried that Shane's face is going to FREEZE in that sneer. The bad folks doublteam Rock in the ring before we can hear the breaking glass. When it DOES happen, Triple H breaks off to battle Austin while Undertaker and Rock do it in the ring. Now in the ring, Austin and Undertaker - Thesz press! Triple H breaks up the pin, like Undertaker would need the help. Ha! Anyway, H in now and kicking away. It doesn't affect Austin, who unleashes an attack of his own. Stunner attempt is pushed off - high knee from Triple H. Windup - kneedrop misses. Off the ropes, face on the knee. 1, 2, no. Head to the turnbuckle. Rights and kicks from Triple H - I think he's going to go through withdrawl - it's been almost a minute without a move involving the knee! Austin set up on the turnbuckle - superplex attempt is fought off - double sledge from the second rope - tag to the Rock! He does all right until a face rake - head to Undertaker's boot - tag to Undertaker. Off the ropes, DDT from Undertaker for 2. Still on the attack - off the ropes - Rock hits a DDT of his own for 2. Triple H again saves, like Undertaker needs it. Boy, he's a real wuss now that he's CORPORATE. Punches from the Rock. Off the ropes - double clothesline and both men are down. Normally we'd get a - ah, there IS the zombie situp. Kick to the Rock, punch, whip - Rock ducks and sets him up for the Rock bottom but Triple H is in - now Austin is in - and now is all gone to hell. Here's the rest of the CORPORATE MINISTRY to run in (DQ - no opening bell, about 5 minutes) whoops, here's KING KEN SHAMROCK, TEST, and THE BIG SHOW. The ring is cleared out of all but the four participants in this match. (All three of those guys take out the ENTIRE Corporate Ministry. Oooohkay.) Triple H and the Rock fight on the outside while Undertaker and Austin fight in the ring. Undertaker with the big boot while Rock and Triple H go over the barricade and out of the picture. Chokeslam on Austin! Shane's got a chair somewhere in all this. But now VINCENT K. is out! Accosting Shane, Vince hits the IblockyourpunchYOUDON'TBLOCKMINE! Vince takes a moment to pensively reflect on what he's just done - then he sees that Undertaker got the chair passed to him just before Shane confronted him. Vince hurries into the ring and wrests the chair from the Undertaker - no, Undertaker keeps it and FLATTENS McMahon with it. "Vince sacrificed himself for Austin!" I wonder if that was the promise he was going to make at the beginning of the show. Anyway, Austin is up while Undertaker stands over McMahon. Well, there's your Stunner. Cue the music! But it's not over - Shane is back up and straddling his father, laying into him with rights. Austin's who's been watching this calmly walks over and allows Shane to do the dramatic look up - double bird! Gut shot! Stunner! Cue the music again! Austin gets THREE Bud Lights (Damn Scaia stole my joke! THAT BASTARD!) and here's a replay of what we just saw. Austin revives Vince by pouring a beer on him, aww that's sweet. As Austin poses on the turnbuckle and drinks more beer, we're out, and so am I. See you Monday!