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/4 November 1999

WWF SmackDown!




You're watching UPN!

One World Leader - TV-14-DLV - Attitude - WWF!

Gather 'round, folks, it's time to check out DX's highlight reel from RAW - DX checkin' it out from the locker room - your party host is Triple H - your clip director is the Road Dogg, who accidentally spliced in some footage of lions making it. Them four guys are COOL, dude. Strangely enough, the "DX" cuts have the "Los SuperAstros" sound effects. I sure miss that show. These guys ain't exactly Crow and Servo, if you get my drift. To distract me, KBHK scrolls a crawl on the bottom of my screen saying that and UPN 44 are giving away the chance to win two tickets to the 27 November Cow Palace show during part of this segment. All I need to do is hit but I'm pretty lazy and all...'sfunny, but I'm thinking that actually we need recaps of THIS show on RAW, rather than the other way 'round. That's what the Brits tell me, anyway... The DX guys make a point of noticing JR's show closing observation to the effect of Vince's accidental belt shot on Shane just might not have been so...accidental, that is.

Almost six minutes after - let's go ahead and roll those opening credits - which, if they had words, would be CLOSE CAPTIONED!

There's the crowd! There's the fireworks! There's the OvalTron to the right! This show is EN ESPANOL DONDE SEA DISPONIBLE! We're at the First Union Center (not the Bryce Jordan Center?) in Philadelphia, PA 4.11.99 (but taped 2.11) and we IMMEDIATELY go to

AL SNOW & MANKIND v. HOLLYS (with Scale Holly) for the tag team titles - Your commentators waste no time dissing the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and Wal-Mart for their comments about the Al Snow action figure. Several times we hear "they don't Get It," so I guess Kevin Nash is cutting edge again. A sock is thrown into the ring - Mick puts it with his other sock. The Hollys have a new entrance video - you care. Snow and Hardcore start, side headlock by Holly, power out, off the ropes, shoulerblock from Snow. Off the ropes again, back and forth, over, under, Snow with an atomic drop, right, right, right, Holly bouncing up and down and going for the tag. Crash is in and looking MEAN. We see Val Venis looking on from the back as Mankind tags in. Head to Snow's boot - Snow tagged back in. That was quick, Mick. Snow kicks away. Off the ropes, duck, double leg into a wheelbarrow suplex. Right to the back of the head. Whip is reveresed, over, Snow holds onto the rope, but Hardcore hits an apron lariat. Mankind continues to keep referee "Blind" Tim White's back to the action as the sneaky doubleteam ensues. Hardcore in without the tag. Here's a Bulldog-esque half hour suplex. Stomping on him. Clubbing blow. Snapmare by the hair, and into the headlock. Snow elbowing out - off the ropes, shoulderblock, over under, there's the Best Dropkick In the Business. Hardcore makes the tag to Crash - top rope - fist to the exposed ribs. Snapmare, dropkick to the back of the head, stomping away, here's a shot for Mankind to bring him in and distract the ref - another sneaky doubleteam brings Hardcore in. Atomic drop. Off the ropes with the lariat. 1, 2, nope. Off the ropes, but Snow catches him in a Ligerbomb for 2. Snow with an awkward drop toehold as Holly tried to sail over him (Cole: "a great legsweep!") but Holly rakes the face to gain control. Slammed to the mat, Holly goes outside and climbs the ropes - but Snow crotches him before it's too late. Snow up to the top as well - SUPERPLEX! White counts them out - 1...2...Snow over to cover - 1, 2, no! Check the Double Feature, now the HOT TAG! to Mankind. Mankind having little problems with Crash as Snow dumps Hardcore over the top. Crash off the ropes, gutshot, off the ropes with the kneelift. Mankind going for the sock but Hardcore breaks it up - now Snow in and it's a Pier Four Brawl. Everybody ends up colliding. Double underhook DDT on Crash by Mankind - cover - 1, 2, 3!! Ladies and gentlemen, we have new tag team champions. Crash bleeds for nought! (6:07) Snow jumps for joy while Hardcore and Crash argue on the outside - now they're fighting...Hardcore dumps him, then walks off. Mankind and Snow share a high five, then pose to the crowd. Mankind once again claims sole possession of the tag team championships record.

TONIGHT: Big Show finally gets his hands on the Big Bossman!

Backstage, Jim Ross and Steve Austin share a tender moment - which quickly turns ugly as Austin asks Ross to stop telling the story of the best buck he ever bagged and explain the remark about Vince and Shane. Ross says he probably spoke too soon, just thinking back to the Mr. McMahon of old. But he didn't mean nothin' by it. Austin says "good enough, then walks off.

WWF Attitude from Acclaim Sports - FEELIT!

And now, SKITTLES brings you the WWF Rewind! From Moments Ago, Mankind hits the DDT on Crash Holly to win the tag team titles. Oh wait, I just wrote that!

The locker room is celebrating the good fortune of Snow and Mankind - but no champagne for these fine folks - oh no - they have MILK! Mankind ducks out - he apparently has unfinished business...

TEST v. D'LO BROWN - Let Us Take You Back to Last Monday Where Stephanie Proposed. Our commentators, who happen to be a pair of kings - MICHAEL KING COLE & JERRY LAWLER - announce the wedding will take place at RAW is WAR 29 November as they christen the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Lockup, side headlock from Brown, Test elbows, powers out, off the ropes with a shoulderblock from Brown. Off the ropes again, Test hits the back bodydrop. Hey, there's the MEAN STREET POSSE at the top of the ramp for no apparent reason. Brown strikes - off the ropes with an elbow. Apparently, the Posse is mic'd so we can hear some witty comments. Off the ropes, full nelson into a slam. Head to the buckle, it's all Test here - punches, into the corner - full rotation before the sidewalk slam. Off the ropes, lariat, Brown finally scores some offense with a hangman's neckbreaker for 2. Right hand. Shoots him into the ropes, duck, big boot from Test. Off the ropes, Brown ducks, and hits a flying jalapeno. "Get your ass up!" Dropkick...scoop...and a slam. Time for the standing flourish legdrop - but Test is up at 2. Brown to the top - double axehandle hits, but Brown grabs his left knee and crumples to the canvas. Awkward moment as Test doesn't know what to do...referee "Blind" Chad Patten checking on him...Test over to see what's up - but Brown cradles him and scores the pin. (3:36) So is Brown hurt or not? Taking another look at it in slo-mo, he DID seem to land kinda funny. Plus, we never got to see anything from the Posse after the injury. verdict - yeah, he probably blew out his knee. But they worked it into the story as best they could.

Mankind, carrying his tag strap, comes upon the Acolytes. They tell him that Val's left the building. They tell him he won't be drinking with them anytime soon and throw an empty beer can at him. "I don't partake of alcohol, you....jerks!" The Acolytes both shout back, but Foley covers his ears and gives an "Ican'theeeeeeearyou" cry as he continues WALKING!

Jim Ross is backstage with the Rock. Rock asks Ross what he meant by saying he hoped McMahon's belt shot on Shane was an accident, what the hell does that mean. Ross offers the same excuses he fed Austin. Rock says if he finds out Ross is blowing smoke, he'll take the ten gallon hat, fill it with monkey piss, turn it sideways, and I've NEVER heard this line before! Why's everybody jumping to McMahon's aid, anyway?

Mr. Ass will be SURROUNDED by bikini babes 8-11 November on UPN! And we'll probably STILL wonder about him!

And now, the WWF Boot of the Week - brought to you by LUGZ! From Monday's RAW, it's Christian and Jeff Hardy doing them flippy-floppy moves, Edge's spear, and the pinfall in the eight-man tag.

TOO COOL v. HARDY BOYZ (with Terri Nolastname) - Ring announcer TONY CHIMEL is amongst the first to remind us that Christopher and Taylor are now called "Scotty 'too Hotty' and Grand Master Sexay." There's a shot of Terri - there's another one. Oh, the Hardys are there too. Cole suggests that Rock and Austin aren't sure that McMahon DIDN'T hit his son on purpose, mostly due to Ross' commentary. Ahhhh...I guess. Lockup by Taylor and Jeff - off the ropes, Taylor knocks him down. Back and forth we go. Dueling hiptosses. Taylor up and over, off the ropes, duck, Jeff hits a 'rana. Matt tagged in, now all four men in. Taylor whipped into the rope. Christopher whiped into Taylor. Belly-to-back suplex on Christopher. All fours assisted leg lariat on Taylor by Jeff - into a clothesline from Matt - punching away - cover...for 2. Taylor manages a comeback going to the eyes and tags his partner. Into the corner, out of the corner. Christopher misses the splash. Matt doesn't miss the moonsault out of the corner, though (Cole: "Big takedown!") - for 2. Double Feature shows the boosted attack "reminiscient of that ladder match." Sure, just RAM IT DOWN OUR THROATS. Christopher reverses a whip into the corner, boot up from Matt - tornado DDT shrugged off and Matt hits the mat. Tag to Taylor. Into the ropes, Matt dumps him over the top. Tag to Jeff - into the ring, then practically misses the tope con hilo - man, I think they get more height WITHOUT the boost. Taylor grabs Jeff's ankle as he tries to get back in. Christopher flies over the top, then Sunset flips Jeff to the floor. Terri coming over... Christopher GRABS HER ASS! Taylor GETS A PIECE AS WELL! Maybe this isn't THAT exciting, but wouldn't we ALL like to do it? Matt off the steps with a clothesline. Referee "Blind" Jim Korderas over to attempt to restore some order, but in putting Matt back to his corner, Too Cool doubleteams Jeff. Back in the ring. Jeff whipped into the corner - Taylor throws in some goggles - Christopher puts them on - I guess he's gonna fly? Broncobuster alike misses and Christopher straddles the turnbuckle. Tag to Taylor is managed but here's a HOT TAG TO MATT! HE'S A HOUSE ON FIRE! Or so. Right, right, scoop slam, scoop slam, gutshot, Christopher from behind. Both men shove him into the ropes, but there's a double head down. Matt puts a boot to Christopher, then hits a Diamond Cutter-esque neckbreaker on Taylor for 2. Christopher manages a Flatliner, but he's not the legal man. AND Korderas somehow remembers this. Jeff in - Jeff and Christopher out over the top. Meanwhile, Taylor with the Snake and the post-Snake. Now Terri is up on the apron and giving the "come hither" look - so Taylor moonwalks over to Terri, who promptly slaps him. Matt with a snap suplex - Jeff climbing to the top - sentonbomb! Jeff covers - 1, 2, 3! (4:50) The Hardys and Terri walk off. Here's a replay of the swandive somersault from Jeff - and here's another. 1, 2...

Backstage, Mankind is still WALKING! He's still looking for Val Venis. He runs across some ho's, who say that Venis is probably at one of the many fine adult establishments in Philly. Mankind thanks them, reminds them "hugs, not drugs!" and walks out of the arena while the ho's provide commentary.

Meanwhile, Tori and Kane have caught up to Jim Ross - they express concern that perhaps Mr. McMahon might have REALLY wanted to hit his kid. Ross offers the same excuses...he didn't mean anything by it...really. Kane nods. I guess he accepts it. spot. That background music sounds JUST like "Come Out and Play," don't it?

Woo hoo! Freestyle Motocross at the Cow Palace! Now THAT'S entertainment! (Just kidding.)

OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL CHAMPION KURT ANGLE vignette. "Intensity, integrity, intelligence." Sounds to me like introducing him as a REAL athlete will only serve to PISS OFF some of them OTHER TYPE athletes in the WWF...

A limo arrives - wahoo! It's Vince!

SmackDown! is brought to you by Lego Mindstorms, WWF: The Music (Volume 4), and Arizona Jeans!

EDGE (I think I know him!) v. BRITISH BULLDOG (with Mean Street Posse) for the European Championship - British Bulldog has a posse? Lockup, to the ropes. Clean break? No, right, elbow, clubbing forearm, off the ropes, Edge ducks, there's an enzuigiri. Bulldog takes Edge to the corner, punches away, into the opposite corner is reversed, Bulldog dumps him over, but Edge drops him. CHRISTIAN is out. 1, 2, no, following the plancha. Edge distracted when Abs is on the apron, Bulldog strikes. Now the HEAD BANGERS are also out. Bulldog with the prototypical half hour suplex - THAT'S how you do it! No offense to Hardcore Holly, of course. 1, 2, no. All this wrestling stuff will probably really confuse some people who now think Nitro is some really hot shit now that they don't bother with the in-ring stuff. To the rear chinlock. Edge to his feet - gutshot, again, again, hold broken, off the ropes, duck, spinning heel kick, punching away, flying clothesline from Edge. Side Russian legsweep here. Edge looking to the Posse, then climbing the corner right in front of them - missile dropkick! Bulldog rolls outside. But he lands in front of Christian - DDT! Thrown back in the ring - spear by Edge - 1, 2, Joey Abs breaks it up while Rodney and Pete "Gas" work over Christian on the outside. Referee "Blind" Mike Chioda rings the bell (DQ 3:12) and now it's a Pier Eight Brawl as EVERYBODY comes in. The Posse is dumped - and Edge smiles...what do you MEAN we may want to pencil this in as a Survivor Series match?

Vince and Ross are together in the back. "I'm sorry - I just don't - I don't Get It. What possible - what POSSIBLE explanation can you give for that comment you made at the end of RAW on Monday night? What POSSIBLE explanation?" "I made a mistake." "You made a mistake. You made a mistake when you thought I - I could actually hit my own son with that WWF title, huh? That was a mistake? Don't you understand how I felt? I want my son, Shane, to be the World Wrestling Federation And YOU can say what you did at the end of that program, and all you've got to say now is that you made a mistake. So as you stand there now, just tell me - was it a mistake or not? How do you feel about it now, JR?" "I think it was an accident. After looking at it and thinking about it, I think it was an accident, what you did - but - and I'll, I'm offering you my apology - but all I was trying to do, Vince, was my job. I just wanted to do my job, and that's it. I'm sorry." "Your apology is accepted." Vince walks off - but he's kinda cold over the whole business.

Shakespeare. Dickens. Melville. Foley. Buy the book! Buy the shirt!

You're watching UPN! If they go an hour without telling you, you WILL forget!

The TV-14-DLV logo finds Mankind on the road at Delilah's. The manager says Val's not around. Mankind tries bribing him...with his good friend GEORGE. Of course, that doesn't work - a scantily clad babe takes the dollar and offers a lap dance. Mankind says she'll get hurt on his big ass championship belt, then walks off.

Are you ready? Here be D-GENERATION X walking to the ring as KBHK once again scrolls the crawl again for me. X-Pac, of course, enjoys a tasty swig from his can of Hansen's Energy Drink. Triple H is back in leather. "You know guys, it seems to me lately that the world can not get enough...of us. You know, the entire world is in LUV with D-Generation X! I mean, come on, and I can't really blame ya, we're the coolest guys here, we beat everybody's ass. We tell ya we're gonna do it, and we do! Now Monday night you got to see THE GREAT, D-GENERATION X in ALL our glory! You got to see things like - the D-O-double-G as he kicked the livin' hell out of the People's Chump, the Rock! You got to see the real Master of Disaster, X-Pac...beat the livin' hell outta Kane and his krispy little pal - and you got to see THE Badd Ass - with ONE shot of his mighty soup bone, split the eye clean open on the Rattlesnake as he bled all over the ring...but above all that, now hey, that stuff was great. You guys, let me tell ya, let me be the first to tell ya, you guys are the greatest, you know what I'm saying? You guys are great, but Monday night the coup de grace, the best part of the show had to be THE World Wrestling Federation Championship match. And as a treat to you guys, 'cause you're my bros, you know, as a treat to you guys - and all these...people here, we're gonna take a look at that very match: Shane McMannequin against the one and the only - the WWF Cha- oh, golly, that's gotta - d'oh - now that's Vince McMahon hitting his own flesh and blood in the head. Can you believe that? Oh, You gotta admit that's good aim right there hitting him right in the (beep)s....right on the money, when the show came to a close, the one thing that I couldn't help but hear was Good Ol' JR sit at the announce table and say 'Naw do yew think it was a mistaike for Mr. MacMahon to hit his own son Shaine in de heyud? I just hope that was an accidaynt!' You think that was an accident? ...hmmm. So without further ado, DX will now let you in on the best kept secret today, because that's the way we are, we always tell you people the truth, we're always straight up. Without further ado, let's bring out THE - NEWEST MEMBER OF D-GENERATION X - VINCE McMAHONNNNNNNUH!" "No Chance in Hell" plays as Gunn brandishes a fresh "VINCE" DX jersey. Hmm, there *is* BILLIONAIRE VINCE in the Time Tunnel. But he don't look terribly happy. "Vince McMahon joins DX? Should--McMahon join DX? Quite frankly, gentlemen, I'd -- the girl scouts." "For the love of (beep) it's a billion dollar company on the stock market, the stock's going through the friggin' roof...and we can't get a mic that works? That's just one more reason why you should be with us - because we will always have a stick that performs." You know, if that wasn't planned, that was a great ad lib. "I'd rather join DUBBYACEEDUBBYA than join DX! So, I hope you've had all your fun last Monday, and I hope you have more fun tonight - when that very ring...D-Generation X will compete in a Survivor Series eight-man elimination matchup...against my son Shane, against Kane, against the Rock, and against STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN..." The crowd, which has been slowly building to a boil, finally erupts, and DX makes "curses! drat!" pantomimes as "No Chance in Hell" plays again. And here's the cherry: VINCE CHOPS HIS CROTCH! HE'S STEALING FROM NASH!! Cole drops a bomb as this segment ends: next Thursday will see AHHHHHNOLD come to SmackDown! Somehow, I bet Cole will find time to mention this again in the course of the next fifty minutes...

That WWF Slam Cam is "AWESOME."

Mankind's at the "All New" Fantasy Room - and interrupting all sorts of hilariously embarrassing situations..and by "hilariously embarrassing situations," I mean "people nekkid and/or masturbating!" That guy was NOT Dave Scherer, so don't TRY to make that joke. I don't care if it WAS Philly.

GODFATHER (with eight - no, four ho's) v. CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO - Godfather is a fun-lovin' guy who loves to have fun. AND SMOKE WEED. Just as Godfather asks the ladies to remove their tops, the Y2J countdown cuts the festivities short. "You know, Godfather, I'll be honest with ya - pimpin' AIN'T watch. I mean nobody came here to see a bunch of scantily-clad young women to dance. No, they came to see Y2J. Just like nobody wants to see a frail, cowardly WOMAN as a Champion - they wanna see Y2J. So Chyna, what I'm gonna do is, after our match at Survivor Series, I'm gonna let YOU be MY personal ho. And I know it's something you're excited about, because (heh) I know you've got a sexual crush on Y2J. And with a gorgeous face like this, can you blame her? I also know you like to lay on your back - hell, you've slept with half the boys in the dressing room already. But your dream of a lifetime is gonna come true - when after our match at Survivor Series, when I'm all dirty - and sweaty, and I make you get down on your knees, pucker up your lips and kiss my big, shiny......Intercontinental Championship belt, you will never, EEEVER forget it." Then he rushes the Godfather, kicking and punching away. Off the ropes, reversal, duck, Jericho holds on, off the ropes, counter, coutner, up and over, Godfather with the clothesline. Kick, right, backstage, Chyna and Kitty are watching. Jericho reverses a whip into the corner and comes off the ropes with a bulldog as he comes out. Stomping, punching, off the ropes, spinning heel kick from Jericho. Another ho, dressed differently (cheerleader outfit), has joined the four at ringside. Jericho kick, right, to the second rope choke. Front face - suplex. Lionsault! Right hand, right, right, right, the ho's have been directed into the ring. "Get these ho's outta here!" While one ho grabs referee "Blind" Tim White and...distracts...him. The cheerleader ho comes in and hits a Steviekick to the point of the jaw. One Ho Train splash and rollup later, we have a 1, 2, 3. (2:05) Golly! That was no ho - that was STEVIE RICHARDS! Jericho, outside the ring, fumes as only he can. The ho's rush White - who seems to get an awful lot of ho action these days. I SAW AN ASS!!

LILIAN GARCIA has caught up to Richards backstage - she wants to know what his obsession is with Chyna. Richards really admires her, not only because she's so muscular, athletic and has such great wrestling ability, (and let's not forget the tan) but also because she's a major piece of ass. Why...I think my sensibilities have somehow been offended! This is almost as bad as Al Snow carrying around that dismembered woman's head! Those...those....WOMAN HATERS!! Garcia says that as one of the few who has faced both Jericho AND Chyna, pick a winner. Stevie asks us to give him a C, give him an H, give him an I, give him an N, give him an A. "Chyna! Chyna! Chyna!"

Shane says JR's comment is forgotten - it's time to worry about the eight-man. Vince asks him if he's seen Austin lately. Shane hasn't, so Vince will go look for him.

One more Bikini Biker Beach Bash ad - with Mr. Ass and Mr. McNasty

At Charlie's Arena, Mankind is again denied Val Venis. As he walks outside, he unforunately finds that his car has been towed away.

Hmm, it IS the First Union Center! Lookit that exterior! As you admire the building, let me remind you that NOKIA brings you the Survivor Series 14 November! There's No Kia in NOKIA!

Steve Austin enters his locker room just before Vince can catch up to him. Vince is a little frustrated that Austin seems to have locked the door, preventing him from speaking to him...

Meanwhile, Al Snow is STILL celebrating his tag team championship victory - the few folks left in the locker room are bored out of their mind. I know I'm supposed to know who's flanking the Blue Meanie here, but honestly I can't be bothered. Luckily, to spice things up, Val Venis attacks Snow from behind - then tells him to relay to Mankind that "he better find me before I find him!" As Venis walks out, we see the ho's once again. Venis thanks them for their help and they're left wondering when he'll call. What I REALLY want to know is who was hiding UNDER THE TABLE? The sad part is ALL THAT SPILT MILK!

Elsewhere, Big Bossman is WALKING!

Here's A Special Video Look At Big Show Getting Gassed Out on RAW

Big Show is WALKING! And also, he's pissed...

Vince knocks on Kane's door - Tori answers. Vince asks her to relay his wishes for best luck in the eight-man. That's ALL he wanted to say? Oh well.

BIG BOSSMAN v. WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW - strange not to see Prince Albert out with Bossman - well, I wouldn't have said that, say, three weeks ago, but....well it's a big rush to the ring...well it's a big right hand...well it's a big boot. Into the corner - well it's a big head to the opposite corner. Well it's some big kicks. Off the ropes, Bossman holds on and ducks out. Show outside to follow, well it's a big roll down the ramp. Well it's a big forearm. I don't believe I've EVER heard referee "Blind" Teddy Long get to ten that fast (DCOR 1:01) Show doesn't care - he's still on him and they're back in the ring. Well it's a big atomic drop - well it's a big lariat. It is time for ahhhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAAM? YES!! Now PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN is out, but goes down to one (one!) well it's a big right hand. ahhhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAAM! Uberofficial DAVE HEBNER is out - ahhhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAAM! Here's SERGEANT SLAUGHTER - ahhhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAAM! TONY GAREA? You guessed it, friends - ahhhhhtheCHOKESLAAAAAM! The refs scatter...but notice he didn't do any of THEM. He don't want no well it's a big FINE.

The Rock is WALKING! Right past Mr. McMahon - who probably wishes him the best of luck.

WWF: The Music (Volume 4) ad. We'll find out where it debuts on the Billboard Top 200 later today, right?

What is the significance of the number 1,023,500,000 anyway? Is it supposed to make me want to buy some Lugz? 'Cause, you know, it doesn't....

And now, the JVCkaboom!box presents the JVCkaboom! of the week! From Monday on RAW, Vince McMahon waffles his son (by accident?) with the WWF Title belt.

SKIPPY & THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE & LA ROCA & STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN v. D-GENERATION X in a Survivor Series elimination match - Shane gets the first entrance - notice how the entrance video now has the happy smiley Vince and Shane shots instead of the growling, scowling Vince and Shane shots? That means they're faces now, see? We may all ponder the significance of Rock entering before Austin now - even as nobody gets any time on the stick. In fact, we now have to wonder if even these four are getting along. Amazingly, with twenty minutes left in the show, we only spend about four on entrances here. Road Dogg enters the ring and Shane starts it with an Annoying Spear. Off the ropes, duck, alleged dropkick for 2. But Road Dogg puts Shane in his corner and there's a sneaky multiple team behind the back of referee "Blind" Earl Hebner - X-Pac in - Shane comes back with a back elbow off the ropes. X-Pac ducks the next punch and hits a spinning heel kick. Tag to Triple H. Right hand. Crotch chop for the corner - and Rock and Austin are out to draw Hebner over while the triple team happens in the DX corner. X-Pac in - into the corner, crotch chop, Shane ducks the whatever and X-Pac goes down. Tag to Kane! Kane all over his former little buddy. Big back bodydrop. In come the Outlaws - down go the Outlaws. Now all eight men in the ring - now it's all broken down. Kane with a flying clothesline on X-Pac as they're the last men left in the ring. Chokeslam...doesn't happen as Gunn is in with a Golota. Fame'Asser! But Kane pops up. X-Pac hits the X-Factor and covers - 1, 2, 3! (2:54) Kane pops up again and hits a chokeslam. Kane reluctantly leaves - Shane in to cover - 1, 2, no! Shane sets up X-Pac in the corner, but before he misses with the broncobuster, we see BILLIONAIRE VINCE walking down the aisle. What's he doing here? We'll find out...after this AD BREAK?!? Wow, when was the last time we took an ad break during a MATCH??

And what's the deal with an EXTREME BOP-IT ad at 2150?

It's 3:30 worth of ads later, and Shane pops out of the corner with another Annoying Spear. Looks like hardly any time passed at all during the break. Shane wanders a little too close to the opposition - Triple H with a shot across the face, Gunn with one to the back, into the X-Factor from Shane. X-Pac covers Shane for the pin. Let's cut out the ad time here and approximate it at (5:31) Rock in with a clothesline. Hard shots - but X-Pac reverses the whip and Rock meets Triple H's knee. There's a clothesline from X-Pac. Kick, head to the buckle. Tag to Ass. Kick, kick, kick, to another corner, repeated elbows and forearms. Tag to the Dog - breakdancin' punch - 1, 2, no. Dogg with a punch - no, it's "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine." Right from the Rock - off the ropes, reversed, clothesline. Right, Irish whip, reversal - "do si do" says Cole, "apropos" says I, Samoan drop by the Rock for 2. Right, off the ropes, head down, kick from the Dogg and the Rock ends up in a bad neighbourhood. Somehow Rock manages to take down all three men in the corner with punches and elbows - but he runs back into a Dogg punch. Off the ropes, Rock slips under the attempt and hits the Rock Bottom! 1, 2, 3! (6:24) X-Pac in - right hands exchanged - off the ropes, duck, spinning heel kick off the ropes - 1, 2, no! X-Pac driving a knee between the shoulder blades. Now dragging him over to the corner - tag to Triple H. H takes a shot at Austin so Gunn can attack behind Hebner's back. Vertical suplex - make it a jackhammer from Mr. Ass for 2. Vince, from his ringside seat, stares. Tag to X-Pac. "Well rested," says Cole. Riiiight. Kick, karate chop, knife-edge chop, repeat, woooo, to the ropes, reversal, gutshot from the Rock, and he manages a DDT. Both men down - hmm, 'Pac don't look so rested NOW, does he Cole. Hebner stops his count at 4 as both men crawl to their corners. Vince cheering on the Rock - Austin reaching - there's the tag! Austin takes everybody out with rights. Gunn over the top rope - H over the top rope - but there's a spinning wheel kick from X-Pac! Off the ropes, head down, gutshot, double bird, gutshot, Stunner! 1, 2, 3! (8:55) - Gunn back in and quickly on Austin with punches to the back of the head. Taking him off the ropes - duck - Thesz press! There's the patented Austin elbowdrop. In the corner, Austin stomping a mudhole in him (so to speak). Brought over to the Rock's boot, tag, they're functioning as a team here. Off the ropes, swinging neckbreaker. Scoop...and a slam. Time to bust out the People's Elbow - no, Triple H stops Rock from the apron with a forearm. Austin over to battle with H on the outside - meanwhile, inside the ring, a series of dueling rollups ends with the Rock pinning Mr. Ass (10:14). H takes Austin ito the STEEL steps - whils Ass knocks down Rock. There's a right hand - H with gutshot - and the Pedigree. 1, 2, 3. (10:39) now it's Austin and Triple H left. Austin rolls in and hits a forearm from behind. Head to the buckle. Austin kicking away. Hebner still trying to keep the Rock out of this match. Triple H hits a facebuster, but falls to a hot shot when Austin ducks the followup. Double clothesline and both men are down. McMahon brings a STEEL chair into the ring, but Triple H grabs it before he can get in to use it. So he goes back for the belt - H and Austin fighting over the chair - Vince with the belt - but he ends up clocking AUSTIN! H decks McMahon, then covers Austin - 1, 2, 3. Man, McMahon's having some bad luck these days. (11:52) From the ramp, we notice that Rock saw the whole thing. Vince says that it was a mistake but I'm not sure that Austin's buying it. Triple H gets a belt shot on Austin (who glances onto McMahon) - and then walks off. Bring up the credits as Cole ends with "I gotta ask the same thing JR asked - it was an accident...wasn't it?" And I'll say the same thing I said Monday. Oh, PLEASE.

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Copyright (C) 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications