WCW Thunder by mdb
Micasa broke the big news story of the week: "Netcop has issued a Thunder
Threat, and he's dead serious. If Thunder doesn't improve within the next
two weeks, he's going to quit recapping the show. The show appears to be a major source of aggravation for Scott, and the only reason he watches it is to do
our reports. So in two weeks, we may be in need of a Thunder reporter. " [credit Micasa @ www.wrestleline.com]
Wonder who they can get to replace The Netcop? Hmmmmm.
CRZ gets email! In the Jan 12th 2000 edition, http://www.CRZ.net/wrestling/letters/000112.html Triple D wrote: Chris, If you want to have an on-site Thunder recapper I understand, but you might consider hyperlinking to Keith's recap as well.
Well how you like me now, Triple D? What I'd like to know is what do the three D's stand for? Dim, dumb, and disturbed? Is it so hard for you to type in www.wrestleline.com on your internet browser? But it's alright. There's your
link. While I'm at it, go to www.ddtdigest.com and www.scoopswrestling.com and www.1wrestling.com and www.wcw.com and www.pwtorch.com and www.wrestlingobserver.com and www.otherarena.com and www.canoe.ca/SlamWrestling and www.twc-online.com/herb/TidBits/ and read all those Thunder reports as well. And when you're done with those you can come back here and read The Best Damn Thunder! Report Anywhere.
On to the show! Turner Broadcasting Station proudly presents World Championship Wasteland THUNDER! Well, I don't really know about "proudly," but anyway, they're certainly presenting it.
Caught somewhere on tape (Feb 8th 2000 from the Myriad Arena, Oklahoma City,
OK), your hosts are Bobby "It's ok to be on Thunder! instead of Nitro because Thunder! is no longer the B-show" Heenan and Mike "Don't kid yourself Bobby"
Tenay. I wonder if this show will bomb? Opps, shouldn't say bomb while in Oklahoma City. (Louie, we still miss ya.)
Three Reasons to Watch this Week's Thunder!
Show opens with highlights from Nitro. Jeff and Hall, David, Arn, and Funk, Luger and Jimmy Hart, Sid, Hall, and Jarrett. Cut to shots earlier today of Jeff and the Harris brothers arriving at the arena by themselves and Hall arriving by himself. You know the nWo split is serious because Hall wears a WCW shirt.
Semi-final #1 of the Cruiserweight Title tournament: Lash Leroux (w/Cajun bead necklace) vs. Shannon Moore (w/Three Count partners and their green circles) - The winner will face the winner of Psicosis vs. The Wrestler Currently Billed as the Jobber Once Called the WCW Television Champ Now Identified as the Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea. Expect Psic to go over there with Iaukea moving on to a three way feud with Dustin Rhodes and 'Unpronounceable Symbol' over the "Artist Formerly Known As" moniker.
Three Count do their schtick to start the segment. Lash gives Bobby the cajun bead necklace as a consolation prize for being demoted. Brain bites a bead to see if it's real. Evan and Lash get into it before the bell rings. Shane joins and it's a double team on Lash outside the ring. The two hold Lash in place for a sweet springboard moonsault by Shannon from the top rope to Lash on the floor. Lash is rolled back into the ring and Shannon hits a slingshot backsplash for by a two count. Foot on the ropes stops the count. Slam by Shan followed by a dance into a legdrop. Two again. Whip is reversed. Shannon tries a to stay on offense with a leg lariat but Lash catches and goes for a slam. Shannon squirms out and rolls up Lash. Two count only. Lash throws Shan to the corner but Shan walks the ropes and goes for perhaps a Victory Roll but Lash stops it, lifts Shannon up and drops him down for a modified Snake Eyes on the top turnbuckle. Lash ducks a roundhouse and hits a modified back suplex. Leg lariat gets Lash a two count. Into the ropes, nope, Shannon with a shoulderblock. Lash gets the better though and hoists him up for the Whiplash. Evan in to prevent a count. Ref distracted and from behind Shane comes in to superkick Lash. Lash does his legsplit to duck a double clothesline by Shane and Shannon. Off the ropes the Two Counts walk into clotheslines by LeRoux. The crowd approves. Drop kick on Evan who was posing on the apron sends him to the floor. Punches on Shan, Lash reversed to the corner but he goes up and over Shannon who was charging in. Roll-up for the Evan, Shane, Shannon, three count. Poor sports Evan and Shannon take out Lash. But Smiley's music plays and here comes Norman for the save. 'Hey, you nontalent no rhythm uncoordinated Milli Vanilli Spice Girls! You want to get a piece of the Wiggle? I can think of no better place than San Francisco (what's that suppose to mean?) I'm going to take on you and you and Sugar [Shane's new nickname] in San Francisco. Let's get Jiggy in San Francisco.' Apparently Oklahoma City is not a good place to Wiggle. Three Count are so flustered they leave behind their circles. Your Winner and finalist in the WCW Cruiserweight Title tournament: Lash LeRoux (pinfall 2:07)
In the back Jarrett and Harrises make their way to the ring after telling their hos to wait for them in the Commish office. Break.
2 Cents on This Week's Raw: I'm of the opinion that all four of the WCW defectors are 20 times better as heels than faces and I'm glad Vince agrees. I'm not too thrilled about the WCW4 vs. Too Cool and Rakishi but when my thoughts turn to other opponents such as the emerging face teams of Edge, Christian and the Hardyz plus newly babyface WCW defector Chris Jericho, I'm more excited about the future of the World WRESTLING Federation as a whole than at any other time in the 15+ years I've been a wrestling fan. Maybe it's time to put that third W back in the name, the World Wrestling Workrate Fed. (Just imagine if Chavo Guerrero, Psicosis, Juvy, and Rey Misterio made the jump to be part of the returning LHW division.) btw, anyone else notice how much better Raw's been since Russo left? Less skits, more stories told through wrestling matches. That's a good thing.
We're back and the nWo theme plays. Out come The Chosen One and DOA. 'Listen
up all you Oklahoma City Slapnuts. I am the Chosen One. I am the
Commissioner... Why did I crack a six string on Scott Hall? Because he was
trying to go in business for himself. He was trying to pass the Chosen One.
Nobody gets in the way of Jeff Jarrett and that title. At Superbrawl I will
walk out the new WCW heavyweight champ. Sid, I'm going to continue to make
your life a living hell. Tonight you will face Big Ron and Heavy D (the
girls, the girls, they love him.) in a tag match with Funk as your partner.
I've got all the stroke. You will show respect. Now hit my music.' Cue the
Wolfpack theme. Out struts Scott Hall. 'Hey yo. Jeff Jarrett, you bleach
blonde country bumpkin. You're telling everyone you're the Chosen One (crowd
boos) I don't remember choosing you. And I think you're forgetting who
really has the stroke around here.
In the back Bam Bam, Hardcore title in hand, walks to the ring. Break.
Face turn for the Outsiders seems to be working in OK.
We're back. In the back Jarrett and the Harris Boys are pissed off. They
overturn a folding table in a display of their wrath.
Hardcore Title Match: The Jobbing Demon (The Jobgoblin?) vs. Hardcore
Triple B Bam Bam Bigelow. I don't even know where to start with this. You
a big deal about the Demon and then job him mercilessly. You've got Bam Bam
is so much better than the role he's currently in. Well, until someone in
calls me up, I'm just a humble reporter reporting. Clips shown of Bam Bam's
title win with assist from Fast Count Finlay. Champ is out first just to
annoy CRZ. Demon steps out of the magic casket, Bigelow breaks a kendo stick
on the posing Demon, one, two, three. WTF? Hey, maybe all this jobbing is
all part of a long term plan for the Demon? You think? After the count,
Knobbs is out to attack Bigelow. Garbage can shot on Knobbs, injured arm
smacked into the un-safety rail by Bigelow twice, kick puts Brain down. Bam
Bam exits with title belt held aloft. Knobbs curses. Your winner and still
In the back Bam Bam, Hardcore title in hand, walks to the ring. Break.
Face turn for the Outsiders seems to be working in OK.
We're back. In the back Jarrett and the Harris Boys are pissed off. They overturn a folding table in a display of their wrath.
Hardcore Title Match: The Jobbing Demon (The Jobgoblin?) vs. Hardcore Champion Triple B Bam Bam Bigelow. I don't even know where to start with this. You make a big deal about the Demon and then job him mercilessly. You've got Bam Bam who is so much better than the role he's currently in. Well, until someone in WCW calls me up, I'm just a humble reporter reporting. Clips shown of Bam Bam's title win with assist from Fast Count Finlay. Champ is out first just to annoy CRZ. Demon steps out of the magic casket, Bigelow breaks a kendo stick on the posing Demon, one, two, three. WTF? Hey, maybe all this jobbing is all part of a long term plan for the Demon? You think? After the count, Knobbs is out to attack Bigelow. Garbage can shot on Knobbs, injured arm smacked into the un-safety rail by Bigelow twice, kick puts Brain down. Bam Bam exits with title belt held aloft. Knobbs curses. Your winner and still Hardcore Champ:
Gene interviews Sid and Funk. Sid on tonight's match: 'There's no one I'd rather have in my corner than Terry.' Funk about Flair: 'I'll handle Flair at the PPV. But tonight I've got someone that will make you pay for what you did to David on Nitro. Watch your back.' This team needs a name. The Middle Aged Psychos? Funk 'n' Sid? The Old Man and the Sid? The Future of WCW?
Cut to Harlem Heat, Stevie Ray T, J Biggs T, and Big T T in the garage. Biggs tells Stevie that Booker is in jail and the people in the office that booked a match between Stevie and Booker don't know what they are doing. Big T is, wait for it, hungry! He goes on a foody call (sorry) promising to bring ribs and applesauce for Stevie and Biggs respectively. Stevie and J head to the ring. Stevie: 'I don't need to even take off my jacket?' Biggs: 'No way. It's easy money. He's not here.' Break.
I get email! The Chosen 1 wrote me to say: Good recap, brotha Just one thing about the Demon Kiss angle:
Gene Simmons was not watching the WWF, he was using his biiiiiiiiiiiiig tongue to lick Shannon Tweed's pu......pu....you know what
Well yes and no. I've heard of pu pu, which generally is served on a platter as I understand, but I don't really know exactly what pu pu is. Any readers out there care to unstump the mdb? But thanks for the email Chosen 1. I didn't realize Shannon Tweed was a renowned cook. Maybe they can do an x-over with Hungry Man Big T and Master Chef Shannon Tweed.
We're back and Crowbar sits in a corner singing along to I Wanna Rock 'n' Roll All Night. Superbrawl teaser match: Stevie Ray T (w/ injured J Biggs T) vs. Just Plain Booker (w/ Mydnyte and Leave it to Beaver theme music) Stevie is out to the ring and Biggs is on the announcer's headset. Biggs assures us Booker is in jail, but Booker appears to Biggs' consternation. Booker's in a torn dress shirt with a loosened tie as opposed to wrestling gear. He sends Mydnyte to the back. Booker: 'For the last 30 hours in Tulsa I've literally being fighting to save my ass. But I'm not here to fight you Stevie, it's J Biggs I'm after.' As Booker points to Biggs Stevie attacks from behind. Forearms to Booker, whip is reversed, Booker hits a kick to the stomach, a kick to the head, and a spinning leg attack to knock Stevie off his feet. The crowd approves. Booker grabs Biggs at the announcers' table. Picking up a chair, he's going for Biggs but Stevie's there and he takes the chair shot. Stevie's down. Booker has words with the prone Biggs and storms off. No contest: About a minute.
Hey, a split shot of Nash and Hall on the phone. It's not transcript worthy. Of note: the name of Hogan is mentioned. Hall gives props to Hulk. Nash considers it all. Segue to Crowbar and Daffy advancing to the ring. Cut to Kidman and Torrie getting close outside. They head for the ring. Break.
Free Advice for WCW: This little feud over the Harlem Heat gimmick isn't bad, but end it once and for all at Superbrawl with Booker winning the gimmick and then push him into the Heavyweight title picture. Booker T vs. the likes of Sid, Goldberg, Sting, Flair, Page, Luger, Jarrett, and Bret (who's already had good matches with him) would all be fresh and chances are the matches would be on the positive side of good with some match-ups very likely to be very good or great. I don't understand WCW's reluctance to push Booker (then again, who understands anything WCW does these days?). He's a star right there ready to go. Is it the Curse of Ron Simmons?
We're back with Flair and Gene. Flair to Gene: 'Why are you so excited [about Hogan]? Who is the man that walks out night after night and says Mean Whoo! Gene? It aint Hogan. It's me! Why do we have to have crosshairs about Hogan? I told the world last week there is no one else in wrestling but me! And Hogan does not factor in.' What about Funk? 'I'm tired of having problems with people that don't like reality. Reality is Funk, I'm 14 times whoo! The greatest world champion that ever lived! 14, 14, whoo! 14 times. And Terry Funk, whether you like it or you don't like it, in San Francisco, in the Cow Palace, looking only as I can look, whoo! stylin' and profiling, I'm going to kick your cowboy whooo! ass whoo! Cowboy! Funk you're gonna be mine! Whoo! Whoo! Gene, whoo!'
WCW's Only Good Match this Week: Kidman (w/Torrie and Kidcam) vs. Crowbar (w/Daphne and metal pole) - As Kidman enters clips are shown of Billy beating the Demon (like who hasn't?) and Crowbar taking exception since he's a big KISS fan. Kidman starts with kicks and punches and stomps. Kidman's a house o' fire! He leaves Storm in a heap in the corner of the ring. Crowbar tries to psych out Kidman by falling to the mat, standing and falling to the mat. Kidman responds with more punches. Crowbar reverses a whip, Kidman ducks a roundhouse, off the far rope Storm has Kidman up but Kidman comes through with a leg-scissors takedown. Dropkick sends Devon to the outside. He pulls Kidman out and guillotines Kidman on the un-safety rail. He drags him to the corner outside the ring and delivers a splash off the un-safety rail. Back in the ring, bodyslam by Crowbar. To the top rope going for the double axehandle, Kidman counters with a dropkick. Tornado bulldog. 2 count for Kidman. Crowbar hits a DDT for two. Kidman escapes a slam and counters with a sitout powerbomb for 2. Whip into the corner is reversed by Storm. Kidman up and over the incoming Crowbar but Crowbar hits a kick to the gut and falcon arrow (?) suplex. Storm hits the slingshot somersault guillotine legdrop. Two count only. Northern lights gets no count as Torrie has the ref distracted. Guess this ref (Nick Patrick) is not so blind! Crowbar up to the top rope with the metal bar. Kidman swipes the pole and whacks Storm in the ankle, Crowbar falls and is crotched on the top turnbuckle. Punches by Kidman as he ascends to the top. Top rope hurricarana. 1,2,3. Torrie helps Kidman back to the locker room. Meanwhile Crowbar punishes himself for losing the match by running into the steel steps. Btw, words do not do justice to Torrie's outfit tonight. Your winner: Billy Kidman (pinfall 3:49)
In the back Jarrett and the Harrises tell the girls to wait in the office. I thought a woman's place was in the kitchen? Cut to Sid (wearing the World title belt) and Funk carrying a towel (sort of like how Ivory has that scarf) walking somewhere in the back. Break.
Only one hour to go!
Free Advice for WCW: Kidman needs a new image. He looks like a 17 year-old kid. I say you feud him with Jarrett for the U.S title (which would be very good matches), have JJ steal Torrie but lose the belt to Kidman. Then pair C'monIWannaLeia Meow with Kidman, both with new ring attire that helps us take them seriously. End result of this little scenario: Kidman's elevated, 'Leia Meow' has a better role, and Jarrett gains heat by having Torrie at his side. (And Lord knows, if you want to worry about such pesky things as continuity, Torrie with Jarrett could segue into the current Nash vs. Jarrett storyline based on the old and forgotten by most Nash and Torrie storyline.)
Damn you, WCW! You made me break my promise. But it's ok, softball season's just around the corner.
Jarrett's Final Act as Commissioner: The Future of WCW Sid (w/world heavyweight title) and Crazy Middle-Aged Funk (w/towel) vs. The Brothers Harris (w/Jarrett (w/US title)) Clips from Nitro of Jarrett smashing Hall as Sid walks to the ring. Clips of Funk vs. David from Nitro as Funk enters the ring. Jarrett joins the commentary team. What will Tenay do about it? Nothing. Sid jaws with the Harris on the apron allowing the one in the ring to attack him from behind. In-ring Harris goes to Funk, getting the ref involved which allows the other Harris to choke Sid in the corner. Double team on Sid. Now a whip to the ropes reversed. Harris ducks a clothesline but rebounds into the big foot by Sid. Ten Count Punch with ten being a clothesline on the other Harris. Weak, weak punches, btw. Sid shoves the other Harris out of the ring. The four brawl outside. Sid with a weak chair shot. Punches exchanged as in the ring Funk hits a neckbreaker and covers a Harris for a two count. DDT but save made by the other Harris. Harrises punch down Funk. The crowd tries to rally the Funkster by clapping but the Harris have control, choke on the middle rope, tag, kick, swinging neckbreaker. One, two, kickout by Funk. One, two, kickout by Funk. One, two, kickout by Funk. Reverse Chinlock. Tag to the other Harris. Punches to the head, third shot is ducked. Causing Harris to spin into a belly to back suplex. Funk to the ropes, comes back with a shoulder tackle that knocks down Harris. Funk is down as well. Hot tag cut off, but Sid is in anyway, Clotheslines, chokeslam on one and Uncle Slam on the other. Funk pulls up the mats and hits a piledriver on the concrete on Harris. Low blow on Sid stops another chokeslam. Terry Funk sets up a table. ECW! ECW! Headbutt to lay Harris out on the table. Funk up for the moonsault but Jeff hits him with the exploding guitar. Funk falls down through the table. Sid chases Jeff away and the Harrises get the pin. Your winners: Harris & Harris (Harris pins Funk 5:22)
Flair does a weird segment where he 'talks to Luger and Liz.' Standing in a doorway, he rambles on about the two of them teaming up. He takes on Hogan, Lex will get Funk. Since we never see or hear Lex or Liz you just have the unmistakable feeling that Flair is talking to no one and WCW can't correctly produce a simple segment of Flair talking to Lex. Still, it is the Nature Boy. Break.
Nitro perfume. It stinks!
We're back. Luger vs. Hogan at Superbrawl is a Featured Attraction Event! Luger's chair has Hogan stickers on one side and Sting logos on the other. Clips of Luger taking out Jimmy on Nitro. I'd like to see La Parka take out this false chairman. Anyone want to know what Luger had to say before his match? Too bad, I ain't writing it down. He confirms the matches we've all already heard about for Nitro and calls out Fit.
The Total Luger (w/the Lovely Elizabeth) vs. Fit Finlay - Lockup, headlock by Luger on Fit, into the ropes, shoulder block sends Fit to the mat. Luger poses. Arm bar by Fit on the overconfident Lex. Fit stomps the arm. Finlay rams the arm into the steel ringpost. Fit stares down Liz. Back in the ring, he whips Luger into the ropes, reversed. Lex telegraphs and Fit kicks Lex in the face. Off the ropes for another, but Liz hits Finlay's bad leg with a bat. More bat shots and the Pillmainzation of the arm of Fit. Hey another blurred sign in the crowd! Lex and Liz head out. Finlay on the way back to the lockers when Brain Knobbs comes out to aggravate the injured arm of Fit. Break. (<-pun!) Your winner: Fit Finlay (DQ 1:02)
I worry about Fit. He was one of my absolute favorites pre-injury and I hope he's not pushing himself. He's not at 100% and I wonder if he'll ever get there if he continues to wrestle at less than 100% (xref Eddy Guerrero). That's not to mention the fact that he's being booked in a nonsensical feud with Brian Knobbs. I hope this is an excuse to give Fit a month or two to fully recover. (Note: That doesn't mean you keep Fit off of TV, just keep him away from physical activity.)
We're with and Gene interviews 2Xcess. Oh, they got no tag name. Never mind. Lodi Idol sneaks in Corrosion of Conformity. Whatever happened to those guys? No gimmicks, no ring attire, no pyro they claim. This is who we are now.
World Tag Title Match: Vito and Johnny The Bull (w/ title belts and Disco) vs. Lane and Idol (w/o bad gimmicks) - Champs out first, for those of you who like to know. Lane and Idol bumrush the champs in the aisle. Bull thrown to the un-safety rail. Vito tossed into the ring. Vito holds off Lane and Idol momentarily but the numbers come through. Punches and kicks. Whip to the opposite corner followed in by an elbow from Idol. Idol on all four to give Lane a launchpad for a leg lariat. Lane connects and momentum takes him over the tope rope to the floor! Stomps on Vito. Doubleteam suplex on the Bull who still has the tag belt on. Miss Hancock is out for whatever reason. (She rules with an iron fist muses Bobby) As she undoes her hair bun, Lane comes off the turnbuckle for a flying clothesline but Vito hits a clothesline as well. Hancock leaves a piece of paper with the announcers and storms off. (I think she looks better with her hair up than down, but maybe hair down and no glasses would be the best.) Unfortunately neither announcer can read so we don't know what she wrote. In the ring Lane rolls Vito up for a two count. Vito hits a belly to back for a two. Idol makes the save. Johhny is in. Vito and Lane to the outside, Idol whips Johhny who receives a kick to the gut and a DDT by Idol. Disco pulls him out to stop the count. Idol knocks down Disco for his trouble. Lane rolls up Vito. Johnny with the save. Johhny and Lane to the outside, Vito whips Idol into Disco and hits the impalier DDT. 1,2,3. Crowbar and Daphne sneak up behind Disco who stands in the aisle with the belts. WHACK! Disco is down after Storm hits him with the metal pipe. Daf and Dev run off with the belts. Your winners and still the WCW tag team champs: The Mamalukes (Vito pins Idol 2:35)
Jeff and Harrises talk. 'I'll beat Hall tonight.' Break.
Free Advice for WCW: Get David Flair and Crowbar out of the World tag team scene. I don't think 2Xcess belong in the picture either. Sad to say as I really like 3 of the 4 (Sorry David.) Get Stevie Ray and Big Gut, I mean Big T, away from Booker and into the tag title scene. They'd be good heels the fans can easily hate to the face reaction the Piasans are getting. I appreciate the attempt to elevate the guys but as Benoit recently and so accurately said, the WCW titles have no value, so simply putting them in title contention isn't enough. There's a word that is frequently used in discussing pro wrestling: "build." You need to build these guys into contenders. I know Stevie and Big T equals bad wrestling they'd make credible champs based on their size and history.
Moment of Hypocrisy: I think the Mamalukes are doing fine as tag champs. Hard to believe that just a few months ago they were doing really lame Russo Crap TV skits. They probably rank about 23rd in a list of the last 25 tag team champs (Flair/Crowbar being 24th and Rick Steiner/Buff Bagwell's mom being 25th.) but they are still a bright spot in WCW's current programming. Get the belts on the faux Harlem Heat and build an angle of the Mamalukes quest to regain the belts.
This moment of hypocrisy brought to you by Walt Whitman who wrote: "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself. (I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
We're back and Okerlund interviews The Cat. The Cat said "I know what you people want to see" and removed his top. Ok, so it's a real obvious joke. You expect me to put effort into thinking up clever things to say about an Ernest Miller interview? Cat namedrops James Brown. Mentions he's filmed a new video. James Brown was in OK but he's gone now. He will be on Nitro sayz the Cat. Gene: 'Thank goodness you don't sell used cars. Cat: 'I tell you what, I can sell my foot to your ass.' Gene barely holds back the laughter.
In the back, a mysterious figure watches Ric Flair walking. Is this the man Funk earlier said would take on Flair for the mistreatment of his son? Find out after the commercials! Break.
Gene intros Ric Flair into the ring for an interview. Out comes The Man with a copy of the WCW magazine in his hand. Gene: 'Over the last 72 hours you've become a controversial figure.' Ric: 'Nothing's changed! I remain the greatest wrestler athlete, human being, lover, whatever, alive! That's all there is to it. And there's three things, three things that have insulted me a lot in the last couple of months. The USA did not name in the top 50 of the greatest athletes of the century. ESPN put Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan, Muhammed Ali ahead of me. Stuart Scott wake up! I'm Ric Flair! Buy a TV brother! But the greatest damage done is this company WCW, I built it, I founded it, I carried it, I've done it all. They put out an issue a magazine, with the top 100 wrestlers of the century. It's got the Funks, the Briscos, it's got Lou Thesz, it's got Harley Race, it's got Ric Flair #2 and Hulk Hogan #1?' (Crowd cheers turn to boos) Elbow drop on the magazine. Stomp on the magazine. 'Hogan, next Monday night, I'm going to tear you apart on Nitro. And then Funk, next Sunday I'm coming to get you at the Cow Palace. Hogan, Monday Night, Whooo!' Out comes Dustin "Remember me?" Rhodes. The temperture in the arena just dropped about 100 degrees. Dustin complains that Flair abandoned David. 'I was abandoned by my dad so I can relate.' 'You think you can kick Ric Flair's ass? The difference between you and your old man is that we used to make music, sold out everywhere, and you're a punk. Flair shoves Rhodes. Rhodes with punches and a flying clothesline. Punches, suplex on the Nature Boy. Punches, whip to the corner reversed. But Rhodes rebounds out and hits a clothesline on Flair. Ref bump! Mum, what's going on here? People start to cheer Dustin. Whip to the corner on Flair, bulldog. Rhodes for the pin but no ref to count. Dustin counts three, the crowd cheers (? Looks like the crowd is actually cheering Dustin) his music plays for two seconds. Low blow by Flair. Knee drop blocked. Figure four by Dustin and the crowd cheers again? Ric hits Dustin with his Rolex. Three count by Lil Natch. Flair wins the match and the crowd boos? (again, it looks genuine) Flair takes out Little Natch! Serves him right for supporting Sid all those months! Funk out. A few punches on Flair before Luger comes out with the bat. Torture rack on Funk. Security in to break it all up. Your winner: Ric Flair (pinfall 1:20)
Shots of Jarrett and the Harrises walking. Cut to Hall walking. Cut to Commissioner Nash ordering Chinese takeout. Break.
The Main Event (aka It's Almost Over!): Hall and Jarrett (w/the Brothers Harris): Toothpick to Jarrett. Hall ducks a swing and connects with one of his own. Jeff into the ropes, slidethru but Hall gets another right. Hall sends him into the corner but Jeff stops and tries to go up and over but Hall stands in the middle of the ring and catches Jeff with a right. Rights and a running clothesline send Jarrett to the floor. Crotchchop to the Harrises. More rights and a kick to the gut, signal for the Edge but Jeff flips Hall over the top rope. Harris & Harris stomp away. Choke on the middle rope, Hall avoids the Bossmanesque splash. Hall up but a Harris hits a clothesline. One, two, Hall's foot is on the ropes. Sleeper hold on Hall. Hall can't make the ropes. Bedtime for Hall? No! He rallies to a belly to back on Jarrett. The double count goes to eight before Jarrett makes a cover. Two. Two blocked punches on Jeff followed by punches from Hall. Hall hits a third punch clean. Tornado punch on Jarrett. Jeff ducks a swing and tries a crossbody but Hall makes it a fallaway slam. Outsider Edge attempt and Jarrett's foot knocks out the ref. *Sigh* No ref no count. The Stroke by Jarrett. nWo ref Mark Johnson comes in to make the count. Ref Mickey J overrules and orders the match restarted. Punches for a bit. Hall hits a Harris who was up on the apron. Jarrett hits Hall with a mic as he turns. One, two, no! Harris holds up Hall, Jeff comes in for the knockout blow but Hall escapes. Punch on Jarrett, punch on Harris. Jarrett has the US belt. Swing and a miss. Hall kicks him in the gut, grabs the strap, belt shot to Jarrett's temple. One, two, no! Ref Johnson pulled the other ref out of the ring. Sid is out. Hall grabs Johnson and gives him the Edge. Sid powerbombs Jeff. The Harrises are dispatched. Hall and Sid stare down closes the show. Your winner: Tune into to Nitro! (6:40)
End of show thoughts: Well it was a good show as far as building to the scheduled matches on Superbrawl. The segments, matches, interviews, and angles were all coherent and logical within the context of WCW's current position. That said, there were several segments that were worthless and the wrestling was barely there at all and not very great. But this one went down pretty easy.
Smell my monkey feet!