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/14 June 2000

WCW Thunder




I GET LETTERS: HUNDREDS of you took me to task for failing to make fun of Kimberly accidentally spraying HERSELF when she was aiming for the eyes of Miss Hancock. I respond thusly: You lousy bunch of nitpickers! Can't you EVER give WCW a break?!?

It's EIGHTY-SEVEN degrees in my apartment. Wahhhh wah wah wah wah wah

TV-PG-DLV - WCW logo - c'mon baby, light my fire

"Highlights" from Nitro

It's - a limo! Who's in it? It's...the Cat! It's Vince Russo, Jeff Jarrett, David Flair, and R&B Security, who report that "the REAL cops don't want to be involved in any of your games." Russo (wearing a shirt with "3-0" on it) tells Security that they better be on the ball, 'cause tonight's gonna be dangerous...we linger on this shot, then zoom in on another arriving car...and coming out of IT is Kevin Nash. He's wearing an "Outsiders" tank top. And begins again...

Opening Credits

Shoot off that pyro - on tape from the Norfolk Scope in Norfolk, VA on Flag Day 2K (taped 13.6) - and THIS portion of WCW Thunder is brought to you by Western Union Money Transfer!

Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE, MIKE TENAY & NOT BOBBY HEENAN. Get the ga ga out of the way, it's time for ACTION!

Check that - it's time for VIC VENOM to come out and say a few words. Good Lord, the commentators are STILL talking. Russo's entrance music goes on and on...ah, there he is. Accompanied by DAVID FLAIR (wearing a lock of his father's hair around his neck), the NEW GODFATHER OF SOUL, R&B SECURITY. Bringing up the rear is JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET, lest we forget about the guy with the title...oops, just did. Russo's "3-0" shirt has "WITH 2 SHAVED HEADS" on the back. Russo requests no riots tonight,then hands the mic to Jarrett. "Billy Kidman - you little backstabbing slapnut! You got what you deserve when Goldberg flattened you on Nitro, but I still can't believe you have the nerve to try and cost the Chosen One the WCW title. So Billy Kidman, tonight I'm gonna finish what Goldberg started, 'cause I'm gonna take a chunk outta your (ass) boy. And as far as Hollywood Hogan goes, he's gonna get his title shot at Bash at the Beach, 'cause I AM a fighting champion. Hell, who else can say they beat Nash AND Hogan in consecutive nights? That's right, my little slapasses, only the Chosen One can say that. So Hollywood, get your old decrepit (ass) behind that wheelchair and roll it to the ring and get ready - because you're gonna be no different that Nash, Sting, Flair, the list goes on and on and one. I'm gettin' the 1-2-3 on Hollywood." "Settle down inbreds, settle down. David - center stage. You know what? Ya said it couldn't be done! Me and my son stuck it straight where the sun doesn't shine to you people...because we retired Ric Flair! He's done! And to boot - we shaved his head clean! We did it, David, we did it." Let Us Take You Back to Monday where they shaved his head clean. Sign in crowd: "HEENAN ON NITRO = HIGHER RATINGS" Russo brags about he and David being the first ones in 28 years to shave Ric's head. We cut to Goldberg taking out Nash and Russo goes wild over that. Russo says he's had a change of heart, and he's bringing back Ric Flair tonight...then he produces a Mr. Potato Head. "But gettin' back to Big Dopey..." Russo points out that Goldberg beat up on Nash in front of his own nephew. "Now what kind of man would stoop so low?" "A dead man!" "Theme From Wolfpac" leads out KEVIN NASH, who is interrupting the proceedings. Russo corrals the Security force in front of the ring, as if that'll help things. Nash is carrying a bat. "You know something, Russo? Your (ass) is mine tonight. Originally, I was gonna come down there and take this foot, turn it sideways..." Crowd: "...and stick it straight up your candyass!" "...and shove it (up your ass)...the thing is, shut your mouth! The thing is, since I broke my ankle, I can't turn it sideways, so what I'm gonna do is take this bat, shine it up, come down and stick it (up your ass)." Russo repeatedly says "Goldberg's on his way, Nash" as Nash runs through the swiss cheese that is R&B Security. Tony (as Russo stands next to him): "Where'd Vince Russo go?" Nash in the ring, where Flair and Cat quickly go down to the might bat. Russo and Jarrett take off through the crowd - and Nash goes after them. Awhoooo!

When we come back, Russo is on his cel phone wondering where Bischoff & Goldberg are. They're coming soon, honest! Russo asks his friends to stick together. Jarrett says he's got a match and walks off. Cat says he's got some commissionering to do and walks off. Flair says he's got some personal things to take care of and walks off. Nash's voice cries out "Viiii-iiiince..." and Russo...hides.

KRONYKK are out. Let Us Take You Back to Sunday where Kronic defeated the Mamalukes to become #1 Contenders. Adams: "You know, the biggest joke in WCW right now is how Kronic lost the tag team titles to Stasiak & Palumbo - by disqualification. That's all right, we played the game, we went to the pay-per-view, and we won the match to be #1 Contenders - we're still playing the game, but the game's over, Russo - so send your paper champions out here RIGHT NOW for the butt kickin' of their lives, or we'll come back and get 'em!" But it's CHRIS CANDIDO out. "Hold on - hold on there, big guy. You're just like everybody else back there - want, want, want - well I got wants too! And I'm tired of being pushed around - so I made a call to an old Jersey friend - and hey, you guys want a fight? You got it!" Who is it?

KRONYKK v. CHRIS CANDIDO & TRIPPA B - Should we call them the Double Threat? Giant heat segment on Candido, culminating in High Times (with audible count to three beforehand) - Candido pinned by Adams with Bigelow never even getting in the ring. (2:31) Post-match, Bigelow decides to try to earn his money tonight and attacks both men - even battle (hmm, maybe HE should have started for his team) until SECURITY comes out to separate the three men. Wow, what an impressive debut for the team of Candido & Bigelow!

Backstage, Russo paces around - then runs for his limo...only to find the tires slashed.

Let's play a game tonight - try to guess how many segments of tonight's show WON'T have Russo. We can call it "Who's the mark?"

Let us take you back to Monday where Big Vito got the blessing of Terry Funk after piledriving him through a table.

Both MAMALUKES hit the ring - Vito: "Finally WCW has its next Italian superstar! Monday night, I became a made man - somebody for you people to cheer - somebody for you people to love and honour!" Vito promises to be a fighting champion who don't sweat nobody. Vito proudly proclaims his Staten Island heritage.

I GET LETTERS: Tom writes: During the latest debacle that is Nitro, Tony talked of how Big Vito was in several gangs growing up in Staten Island. Now, I'm 22 and lived here basically my whole life. There are NO gangs. This is white suburbia at its finest. The closest thing we have to a gang is the Wu Tang Clan! There are no " mean streets. " No " gang warfare. " You want danger, go visit the Fresh Kills Landfill, the biggest garbage dump in the world. Thanks for your time.

Vito turns to John and asks him how he feels about that. Johnny asks Vito why HE didn't get the shot. Vito tells Johnny he wants him to wear the belt because... "I love you." Johnny doesn't know how to react to Vito wrapping the belt around his waist. Crowd - doesn't seem to care much. And now Vito whacks Johnny with a kendo stick. Ummm...WHAT A SWERVE!!!!!!!!

BIG VITO v. JOHNNY "THE BULL" for the Hardcore title - Johnny wastes little time setting up a table at ringside, then gets back in the room to continue working over his tag team partner with the kendo stick - then breaks a cane over his back. Onto the camera position off the apron....JUMPING DDT THROUGH THE TABLE! Hmm, I guess this isn't a match as there's no ref to count a pinfall - but they WOULD let's be generous and call it a match and around (1:00) "Theme from Wolfpac" fires up and out comes KEVIN NASH. One bat shot and suddenly, the previous bit attempting to build up Vito is COMPLETELY wiped out as Vito goes down - HARD. Oh well. Next! "Hey Russo! Just wanted to let you know...I'm still lookin' for ya." Too bad Nash doesn't have an in with the camera crew...

...'cause we cut to a shot of Russo watching a monitor. "He's gonna kill me! He's gonna kill me..."

Oh man, so CLOSE. But no - Russo JUST made that last segment.

GTV - I mean "surveillance tape" - catches David Flair and Miss Handcock sharing a special moment

Let Us Take You Back to Monday where Franchise turned on Bagwell

THE FRANCHISE hits the ring to swear for a few minutes. "Buff Daddy Bagwell - hahaha! You probably got a few things going through that thick skull of yours right now. Like, does my head hurt from those brass knuckles. Like, two...why did my partner knock me senseless on Nitro? Well I'm gonna tell you, Buff, and I'm gonna shoot it straight - 'cause that's what a Franchise does. Thirty plus days ago, Buff Daddy Bagwell, you and I had one hell of a lot of contracts signed. We had a hell of a lot of obligations. And you, Buff Daddy Bagwell, decided that you wanted to play tough guy in the back. Got yourself into a little trouble, and you left the Franchise hangin' high and dry! Well, Buff, let me clarify a few things for you my friend - PARTNER. The Franchise held up his end of the bargain. The only time, Buff, that you were on the top of the heap here in WCW is when you stood side-by-side with Yours Truly, the Franchise, and these people know it. Now of Monday night, like a lot of other people here in WCW, you'll now know why, just like these people know, the meaning of the saying 'you just got your ass Franchised.' Hahaha. The fact of the matter is this - you people can say a lot of--" but BUFF DADDY BAGWELL hits the ring and starts laying in the punches. Well here comes CHRIS CANDIDO - and here's TRIPPA B - I guess the Triple Threat is official now. Tripleteam beatdown is short-lived as KRONYKK hits the ring again and if I could get Katie to bar the door, I think we could proclaim this a Pier Six brawl. Good guys clear the ring of evil guys. Must be a sweet gig to come back from a thirty day suspension with a monster face push, eh?

Outside, we see Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner pull up on motorcycles

We cut to Edge & Christian - sorry, Palumbo & Stasiak - poking some fun at the picture on their monitor. Only problem is, that must have been a taped picture because Steiner & Abbott are standing right behind them - and quickly leave them laying. Abbott: "That's the magic of videotape, boys - that was taped two hours ago!" Hey, that's THREE champions laid out tonight.

Jimmy Barron phones it in with 1-800-CAL-LATT. Nitro hits Montana 'cause they're running out of markets they haven't killed yet!

Hey! No Russo in that last segment! Wahoo!

No wrestling, either, though. Damn, it's always SOMETHING with this show...

Whew! My Russo withdrawl is saved as Cat catches up to Russo and apologises...then promises not to leave his side tonight. A second limo pulls up - Cat opens the door to greet Bischoff and Goldberg - oops, must not be them as Cat runs off - Russo looks over to see Scott Steiner exit. Russo decides it's faster to climb over trucks than run around them - see, it's FUNNY! I guess

"POSITIVELY" KANYON & "WCW IS A CAREER KILLER" AWESOME MULLET hit the ring to Page's music - Kanyon is wearing a blonde wig and doing a rather formidable parody of Page's BANG. "GOOD GAWWWWD!!! Bro, I'm feeling real POSITIVE tonight. So POSITIVE I'm willing to team up with the guy that tried to kill me." Crowd shot. "Bottom line is...I'm gonna be signing my new book...Positively Kanyon...this Friday in Padooka, Kentucky, with my co-author...Smoky Robinson, and of course Smokey the Bear. Then, on Monday, I'm gonna be on Craig Kilborne with my good buddy, my friend, my pal, the hip, the current, Jon Bon Jovi. So, tune in - ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, ba-da-BANG." Awesome asks for the fans to shut their mouths and let him talk. "The Awesome One" has a bit of trouble stumbling over "jabrones" but requests someone with the spauldings to come out (except Scott Steiner, please).

POSITIVELY KANYON & AWESOME MULLET v. JOBBED TO DAVID ARQUETTE & RICK WOOF WOOF - Aren't all these guys on the same side? Wait...aren't Rick and Tank having problems since Sunday, when in the Asylum...oh, no, wait, they were friends again by the end of the show, weren't they. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that the end will see Kevin Nash come out and take out all four men singlehandedly. Ooh, ooh, no wait! This is even better! What REALLY happens is Awesome has Abbott in position for a crucifix bomb, but Steiner hits the ring to help - Awesome drops and ducks and Abbott eats the Steinerline. Gosh, they might not be friends for the next ten minutes or so! Awesome MIGHT have covered Abbott here for the pin, but the camera doesn't think to take that in for us. I DO know that a bell rings (? 1:28) about a MILLION times as now STASIAK & PALUMBO - and then SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER - hit the ring. As the ring empties of all but the Steiners...Rick and Scott suddenly realise they're the only ones in the ring...a staredown occurs...and of course, we THIS is the precise moment when we CAN'T wait any longer - we simply MUST go to an ad break.

As the TV-PG-DLV ratings box reappears, we are graced with the sight of Vince Russo walking (WALKING!) from car to car...then getting in one - but before he can start up the car and drive away...Kevin Nash appears and grabs him through the shotgun window. Russo screams and then runs off...shirtless. Brrrrrrr.

Meanwhile, PAMELA PAULSHOCK catches up with Cat - sorry, "Mr. Commissioner" in the locker room. Cat says if Big Poppa Pump won't work for him or with him, then he'll have to work against him. Tonight he'll take Steiner out.

Let Us Take You Back to Nitro when Cat, Hogan, Kidman, Jarrett - and Goldberg - had a bit of an angle

GENE O. works tonight! He stands backstage with Kidman, who says that he trusted Eric Bischoff about Horace - and look what happened. What he did on Monday wasn't to be buddies with Hulk - it was to screw with Eric. Tonight, they'll find out that "this Kid don't play."

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET v. BILLY KIDMAN - Champion enters first because he saw Triple H do it Monday. Commentators sell Goldberg's jackhammer of Hogan through the table as one of the most brutal manoeuvres ever - reporting a spinal injury. Kidman may have had to job to Hogan on Sunday, but WOW! He's got some FIREWORKS now! Jarrett punks him out from behind and we're off. Punch, punch, punch, punch, and so on. Into the ropes, Kidman ducks the elbow, flying head scissors, dropkick, elbow, into the ropes is reversed, head down, kick by Kidman, but Jarrett hits a hot shot. Fistdrop, another, into the ropes, back elbow by Jarrett and Kidman goes outside. Jarrett follows and drops him throat-first on the barricade. Whip into the barricade. Kidman rolled back in - Jarrett following. Into the ropes is reversed, but Jarrett hangs on and the dropkick misses. Jarrett catapults him outside. Oops, here's the FILTHY ANIMALS coming out to punish me for actually trying out play-by-play during a Thunder report. Tygress joins the commentators and says...oops, once AGAIN her headset doesn't work. We're probably better off. Sure enough, Rosie Perez kicks in just as Kidman hits his infamous YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN! Anyway, in a COMPLETE shocker, Konnan hits the ring with the gee-tar and kabongs.....Kidman. WHAT A SWERVE!! Jarrett gets the pinfall to retain (4:04) and now the "Theme From Wolfpac" fires up and KEVIN NASH comes out. The Animals scatter and Nash wraps a belt around Jarrett's neck and drags him off.

JOBBIN' VAMPIRO is out with his blowtorch and I think he just might have a few words. "It's been three days since I've taken the actor Steve Borden - better known to y'all as Sting - straight to hell - and sent his career up in smoke. And I can still smell his flesh burning - and I can still hear his voice like a little (bitch) as he fell off the top of the Jumbotron. And every ounce of my subhuman frame feels no remorse about any of this. And yet, all you people here have been brainwashed with the T-shirts and the posters. I hear you chanting his name, Sting." Crowd: "..." "What did Sting know about the dark side? Absolutely nothing. Put that poster down! Take that mask off! I said, take that mask off!" Vampiro goes outside, shoves a plant - I mean, fan - sitting next to her, and then AGAIN demands that the mask be removed. He pulls it off himself, and - ahh, that's ASYA - spits blood - I mean, "a red substance" - in his face. Suddenly, "God of Thunder" fires up and out comes DEMON. Now, these two fought on Monday, but we won't let that stop 'em from trying it again. Off the ropes, duck, gutshot by Demon, butterfly suplex. Vampiro uses the torch - to the gut. Clothesline. Tony tells us that Demon is Dale Torborg, and Asya is his fiancee. I expect her to turn on Demon any minute now - now she's in and on Vampiro's back - he backs her into the corner hard. Vampiro picks her up - and hits the Nail in the Coffin! I am SHOCKED that we managed to see that without the timely intervention of a crowd shot. Demon attacks Vampiro from behind as he poses - and now they're out of the ring and brawling down the aisle. Vampiro ends up in Demon (Dale Torborg)'s "casket" - Demon (Dale Torborg) brandishes a torch...then does his Ricky Steamboat impersonation. He should light that thing on fire! Oh, I guess not. Demon (Dale Torborg) back over to check on his fiancee, while we look back to see Vampiro escaping...with a crazy look on his face. Hey Vampiro, last week this time you were in a "big-money" feud with Sting. Tonight you're jobbing for Demon (Dale Torborg). Life's a bitch, ain't it?

Promotional consideration paid for by Aqua Velva Ice Sport, Slim Jim (Savage), Super Soaker, America (ha!) Online, Motel 6 7/8, and Aqua Velva Ice Sport (again).

Hey, I think that was two segments so far without Russo...

Close captioning where available brought to you by Meineke!

3 Count vignette. Hey, they STILL only know the one song...anyway, they perform at a mall...for one fan.

DAFFNEY UNGER is out in her (black) "wedding" dress and in a somber mood. "David Flair - I can't believe that you've done this to me. You have broken my heart. We were supposed to get married! And then you had to go and betray me with that - that backstabbing bimbo! You know, you're so utterly pathetic. I mean, anybody can see that Miss Peacock is not your type. Miss Peacock is the type of hooch that wants to get her lanky toothpick legs broken by me! Get your ex-Hooter girl butt out here right now!" Here comes MISS HANCOCK with something for the children. "How could you do this? You knew that we were engaged." "Look, I'll tell everyone in here and you - just call your fiancee out of the back!" She takes her to the mat instead. We quickly cut to a crowd shot lest things get interesting. DAVID PENZER attempts to intervene - and quickly goes down fast. Another crowd shot. Another crowd shot. Why do they DO this on Thunder when they KNOW that we can't see it? DAVID FLAIR comes out and pulls Daffney off of Hancock - then punks him out. CROWBAR is out to ask David what's up - Flair Golotas him as he goes to check on Daffney. Flair and Hancock take off - and Daffney checks on Crowbar.

AFTER THE FACT: Apparently, Daffney's big ol' breasts kept floppin' out and that's what was up with all the crowd shots. Again, it begs the question: how come they never do this stuff LIVE? Har, har.

Cat - is - WALKING!

Meanwhile, Russo (!) is WALKING! He hits the Cat's office. "He'll never think I'm stupid enough to hide in here!" Of course, Nash is hiding behind the potted plants. Nash IS a potted plant.

Advance Auto Parts presents "This Week in WCW Motorsports!" Blaise Alexander qualified in the Top 15...and managed to get up to fourth...but the curse of WCW Motorsports kicked in as Alexander managed a nebulous "Top 30" finish (translation: they probably finished 30th) after a few crashes.

SUPERSTAR SCOTT STEINER (with four - no, two hooches) v. NEW GODFATHER OF SOUL (with six R&B security) - Crowbar demands a match with Flair - later tonight! Is this match for the US title? Will it take place in the Asylum? What do YOU think? "On Monday Night Nitro, Eric Bitch Off and Vince Russo, you sent down Mike Awesome to interfere in my match, because you're running WCW and you think you're in control. Well in case you haven't noticed, I don't follow the rules too well, I don't give a damn about authority, and the only people that control me are my Now Ernest the Cat, tonight you may think you're the commissioner, but in reality all you're doing is taking an asskicking that belongs to Bitch Off and Russo. So get your ass down here, Cat!" Cat's entrance video has James Brown - it seems like YEARS ago, doesn't it? Steiner destroys Cat, who decides to walk away. "C'mon, bitch!" Steiner is busy discussing the Lakers/Pacers series with referee "Blind" Charles Robinson, so no count. Cat apparently decides to run back to the ring, because the next thing we see is a slide into the ring...about a foot short. That was a lot funnier the FIRST time I saw it. Steiner goes back to pounding. Cat's had ZERO offense so far. Finally, a couple R&B Security guys trip up Steiner off the ropes, allowing Cat to sneak in a superkick. Only a two count, though. Cat with his breakin' elbowdrop for another 2. Cat has words with Robinson. Steiner with a waistlock, Cat's trick knee acts up, James Brown uppercut, 2. Cat throws Steiner out to the floor and the six men stomp on Steiner. Now Cat calls two of them in to hold Steiner for a kick. One of the women comes in and Golotas a security guy - Steiner shrugs off the other one. Okay, it's Shakira. Ahh, that's so Midajah can also come in, climb to the top and splash Cat. Silver King, El Dandy, Los Dos Villanos, Psychosis and La Parka have all been released...but at least they have *Midajah*. Steinerline. Blockbuster suplex. Belly-to-belly suplex. Steiner Recliner. See ya. (4:00) Post-match, Cat has THE STICK: "Wait a damn minute! Wait! That's a illegal chokehold, man! He choked me! That's a illegal chokehold - and since I'm the commissioner - I'm gonna disqualify you for using that chokehold on the commissioner. I've got all the power in the world...and if you ever use it again, I'm gon' get your ass outta here along with that hold - it's banned permanently! Hey, I'm the winner! I declare myself the winner! Get over here!" (DQ 4:00) Cat goes ahead and totally shrugs off the Recliner effects to do his James Brown impersonation..oh, wait, he DOES collapse again, at least.

Meanwhile, Nash has a hogtied (and coughing!) Jarrett in Cat's office. He doesn't know what to do with him, so he'll call up a friend in Florida and ask HIM. Where'd Russo go? Who knows? Nash is wearing Jarrett's shades. Oh, we are led to believe that's Scott Hall on the other end of the phone. "I wanted Russo but I got Jarrett - what should I do with him? Hahahah - that's a felony in all fifty states!" He can't shoot him...finally, Nash has a plan. "You want Russo!" "I want YOU." Oh good lord, he's not gonna SODOMIZE him out he?

Promotional consideration paid for by Nitro for Men - it smells like suck, 1-800-BAR-NONE, Corn Nuts, Targon mouthwash, America (ha!) Online (again), and Aqua Velva Ice Sport (again) (again).

Hey, no Russo in that segment...right? That makes...three, I think.

Gene O. stands with David Flair, who says that he's his own man now - he retired the WOOOO Nature Boy. Crowbar better prepare to get shaved!

CROWBAR v. DAVID FLAIR - the same music plays for both men - I think it's time to retire that God-awful Flair whine to start that song. Flair carries the clippers, lock of Ric Flair's hair - and a statue of liberty which will no doubt figure into the finish. Crowbar with a baseball slide dropkick before Flair can enter the ring and here we go. Pretty nice back and forth match which I should probably devote some typing to - oh well. Nice move sees Crowbar hit a pescado on David Flair as he sits on a chair out on the floor. Flair busts out a butterfly suplex AND a superplex, and now I'm REALLY sad I didn't start play-by-play. Maybe I should, now, huh? Dueling chops! Into the ropes, gutshot by Flair, front suplex attempt is blocked and *Crowbar* hits one instead - one, two, nope. Both men up, Crowbar with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," off the ropes, nice dropkick, in the corner, Crowbar rips open Flair's shirt and throttles him with it - "torn T-shirt beal," says Tony. Got him up in a fireman's carry - and over with a Spicolli Driver. Out on the apron - slingshot into a somersault legdrop - but only 2! What's he got left? Flair begging off and Crowbar pointing...Flair puts Crowbar through the ropes...and struts. Hey, Flair's definitely more cut these days. Crowbar with a shoulder to the gut, trying the Sunset flip on his way in - Flair holding on...grabbing the Statue of Liberty - ahh. Well, after pasting him with the paste, it's over. 1, 2, 3. (7:40) Flair going for the clippers - DAFFNEY is out, but Flair shoves her down by the face. Flair gives Crowbar a little sideburn action while MISS HANCOCK walks out and teases a striptease - Flair leaves the ring and follows her to the back.

Russo wasn't in that segment! Wow!

The 1-800-COL-LECT replay is of the Statue break, the pin, the shave, and the walk back down the aisle

Coming back live, Nash is WALKING with Jarrett - while throttling him with a bat.

"Theme from Wolfpac" plays again and KEVIN NASH & JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET walk out. Time for our main event....interview. Commentators feel withdrawl as well, asking "Where's Russo?" a few times. Hey, this is probably all fake - Nash and Jarrett are working together. "Russo! You know, Russo, on Monday night you put a vision, you scarred a vision into my little nephew's brain. He watched his uncle bleed before his eyes. When I was a young man, my older brother took me to see the movie Deliverance. And there was a scene in that movie, Vince Russo, that scarred my mind. Is it just me...or does Double J got a (pretty mouth?) Come on, boy." Some more stuff gets muted in here, including some requests to squeal. "Come on, boy! How 'bout we strip you down to your underwear, boy? Russo, if you don't show your (ass), I'm powerbombing the Chosen One ...straight to hell." The music starts up and here's VIC VENOM. "Nash...that's enough! You want me, I'm standing right here." "Why's it enough, Russo? Turning ya on a little bit?" "I got something in my pocket you might be interested in. This right here, Kevin, is the contract of one Scott Hall! Your buddy, Kevin! The other Outsider. And ya know what? For the past four years, you've done everything to protect Scott Hall. And so has Eric Bischoff - to some extent. But ya know what? Bischoff ain't here tonight. And ya know what else, Kevin? Not only do I hate you, I hate Scott Hall even more. I hated him up there, and I hate him more down here. So what I'm sayin' is this, Nash. Unless you back offa Jarrett and leave that ring right now, you can say goodbye to the bad guy's contract. Yeah! I told you he would come! I told ya he'd be here!" That music is playing, but will he come out? "Ohh, he's comin' Kevin - he's comin', Kevin! I wouldn't do it, Kev! I wouldn't do it - watch out, Kev..." and here's COLD BEER out from the crowd and taking him down from behind. A rude hand gesture for the crowd, and a right hand for Nash - guess he took too long to get into position for a spear. Goldberg rips off the ropes around Jarrett's hands with one mighty tug. Jarrett takes the bat to Nash, repeatedly. Russo stands over Nash's corpse...gets set to rip up the contract...and we're outta time, so who knows if he actually did it or not...

So when will Hall turn on Nash? When he returns?

Hey, no Bischoff tonight...interesting...

The Last Man Watching Thunder
[slash] wrestling



Copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications