The following program is a TBS Superstation Original Series!

TV-PG-DLV - WCW logo - two tickets to paradise

Earlier Today, Smooth and the close captioned logo welcomed the Natural Born Thrillers to the WCW Power Plant. Sanders says it's time for a little reunion with Paul Orndorff...oof.

Opening Credits - Saturn

Pyro and the iWatch logo welcome you to College Station, TX and the Texas A&M Campus - take a drink every time someone says "Aggies!" It's 6.9.2K (taped 5.9) and it is...THUNDER!

KWEE WEE (with Paisley) v. LT. LOCO in a #1 Contender's Match - Stay tuned for SHOCKING footage of Mr. #1derful! ELIX SKIPPER & MAJ. GUNNS come out about a minute in, further ensuring I pay very little attention to this match, and take fourth and fifth headset. Tenay: "Would you look at those maple leafs!" Of course, Gunns' headset doesn't initally work - that's a *compliment*, not a criticism. WHOOOSH FALL BRAWL ONLY 11 DAYS AWAY WHOOOOOOSH. Tenay asks Gunns about Paisley, and the entire time she answers, Stevie Ray keeps interrupting her by calling moves. ("Big elbow! Clothesline!") Gunns openly roots for Loco - I guess. Gunns: "I can't believe I'm sitting here..." Stevie Ray: "That back suplex was intense, Tony." Skipper: "That's right Major Gunns, you need to watch this 'cause this is part of your training, of how we do it in Canada, so you need to pay attention to what's going on out there." Huh? "'Cause that's your former teammate - now you're a part of the Canadian team." "That will never be my former teammate - I am always gonna be-" Stevie Ray: "Oh! Brainbuster!" "--USDA Choice, honey." "Brainbuster by Lt. Loco!" "I am 100% American made." "We can change all that. That's right - we will change all of that - you will be 100% Canadian." "Whatever." That's pretty much how I feel as well. Finish sees Logo go to the top rope, stay there for upwards of five seconds so Paisley can jump up and crotch him, and Kwee Wee DDT's him from the top rope to the apron - yikes - for the fall. (6:41) Skipper: "Americans always hesitate!" Gunns: "See, that's what I'm talking about. That is completely ridiculous." Stevie Ray: "Did you say something, Prime Time?" Post-match, Gunns gets in the ring and pulls down Paisley by the hair. Catfight! Catfight! "That's right, beat those Americans up!" Stevie Ray: "Prime Time, ah, you better get a handle on your yak, baby!" TYGRYSS runs out and grabs Gunns and now a doubleteam is on. Skipper in to pull her out - we are denied a Too Hot for Television shot of Gunns' ass by an inserted crowd shot. The MISFITS IN ACTION (sans Stash) run out to chase everybody away.

WCW PROS AND CONS: Pro: Stevie Ray is given a high-profile commentary assignment, assuaging racism charges on the part of WCW. Con: Ray takes it to a different level by being even more sexist than Mike Tenay - and Tenay's just playing a character!

Earlier Today, Bret Hart arrived! He wears a fake - I mean, CFL - football jersey. After removing his luggage, he starts WALKING!

Elsewhere, Goldberg is WALKING! What a funny case!

Time for the WCW Thunder Tailgate Party! Tony tries to give us the impression that this was taped here in College Station, but don't buy it! Finish Line is shoes.

Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE, MIKE TENAY, STEVIE RAY and THE iWATCH LOGO. Check out just behind them - they forget to turn off the lights on the empty part of the arena until *after* we start watching this shot

Let Us Take You Back to Starrcade and see three angles of the kick that put Bret Hart out for ...hmm, it's been eight months, hasn't it? With Hart and Goldberg in the same building, what could possibly happen?

Later tonight, Tenay will go all-out heel with David Flair and Stacy Keebler! Stick around! Also, bonus footage of War Games 2000. And if you're wondering how it went with the Thrillers at the Power Plant, wonder no more...

Earlier today, the WCW Cameras followed the Natural Born Thrillers as they tried to go home again. They find Mike Graham and a Power Plant guy in the ring. Graham decides the best course of action is to give Sanders a punch, double leg, and figure four. Yeah, that's how you win a fight with six guys. Needless to say, the trainee gets to practice taking a bump through the ropes to the floor, while Graham takes knees, stomps, and a Seantonbomb. Tony ID's the trainee as David Farquair (I'm sure I spelled it wrong). Moving on, they spy another trainee on mop duty (who apparently wasn't watching what was going on in the ring in front of him). "We clean floors a little different around here." And he goes down with one punch. Tony tells us that's Troy Andress or some other spelling. Now at Orndorff's office...this segment has only gone on three or four minutes, but it feels like a hundred. Orndorff tries the "what has gotten into y'all? Two or three minutes on TV and you think you're stars," speech, tries to rush them - hmm, a fiftysomething year old man on six guys...I LIKE THOSE ODDS - and after a six-way stompdown, Security and a few trainees wielding sticks break it up JUST before they get to do a spot with Orndorff and the mop. The Farkair guy twirls that stick JUST like Big Boss Man! Man, if his knee ever heals, we'll see BIG things from that guy!

This portion of Thunder is brought to you by Western Union Money Transfer - is it too late to get their money back?

This Monday, you're still cordially invited to the wedding. They're gonna keep calling her Ms. Hancock on the invitation no matter HOW many times Tony calls her Stacy.

Mike Tenay sits down with DAVID FLAIR & STACY KEEBLER (and the iWatch logo). Everything's ready for Monday's wedding. Both her parents will be there. Flair says both his parents "should be there - we live in Charlotte, you know." Tenay cuts to the chase and asks if Ric Flair will be there. "I don't know, I haven't talked to him." Stacy: "Mike, let me just tell you that with or without Ric Flair, me and David are still getting married." Mike switches to "heel" mode and asks Stacy "what are you, some kind of a golddigger?" "Mike, I think you should apologise to me for that comment - because me and David are very much in love." "Hmm. In love? Is this a marriage because you're in love - or is this because of the baby?" "Of course he's in love! We've been together for some time now, and--" "Stacy, Stacy, David's a big boy - let him speak for himself." "Well, I love Stacy and I love the baby." Two quick things we can glean from this segment: one, Stacy can't act; two, Mike can't act - but next to Stacy, he's MARLON FREAKIN' BRANDO. "We know you've had a lot of problems with your own father, Ric Flair. Can you be a better father to your child than he was to you?" "Don't you think that question's a little personal, Mike?" "No, I don't think it's personal at all. I think everybody wants to know the answer to the question that you've avoided this entire interview: will your father be in Charlotte for the wedding?" "I don't know." Dramatic cut to Tenay: "And David, if he does show up, you gonna be able to get along with him?" Dramatic cut to Flair: "Mike, if he shows up, he's my father. If he wants to be part of the weeding, he can. If not, oh well." "Let me tell you what, this interview is over! Because no one is gonna ruin my special night Monday - not you, not Ric Flair, not anybody. C'mon David, let's go." "Hmm. Well there you have it folks - another happy couple on their way to marital bliss. I give 'em six months IF they're lucky."

Goldberg is WALKING! And looking for Bret Hart!

Fall Brawl promo

Let Us Take You Back to Monday where the Harris Bros (and the iWatch logo) entered a local tavern and beat up Kronic. Wasn't this footage so hot that they weren't gonna show it Monday until the Harrisses came out and threatened physical harm? Does their reach extend over to Thunder as well? Oh, well.

3 COUNT is out with baseball bats. "Yo, listen up - 'cause we ain't here to sing and dance tonight! Ask Tank Abbott what it's like to get beaten down by the 3 Count! 'Cause he can't find his last three teeth - and as far as last night on Nitro, well Kronic, we're up for a little battin' practice, so why don't you two punks come down to the ring like a man and we'll show you what time it is!" Adams will handle the response. "Hey, 3 Count! So you wanna piece of Kronic, huh? Well, not only do we accept your challenge - because it *is* all about Kronic - I tell you what we're gonna do. I'm glad you boys brought out those baseball bats, 'cause I want you to keep 'em, 'cause tonight we're gonna make up a nice little set of 3 Count popsicle sticks."

3 COUNT v. KRONYKK - why does that guy in the crowd have a "I'M AT A WCW EVENT" sign? Isn't that kind of obvious? Is he worried we might confuse him with being at some OTHER kind of event tonight? Karagias tries the body scissors into the bulldog, but Clark chokeslams him down. Tenay: "What a unique chokeslam that was by Bryan Clark!" Stevie Ray: "I ain't never seen that move before, Mike! What is it called?" WHOOSH 11 Well, anyway, the HARRIS BROTHERS come out - Kronic quickly go outside to brawl with them on the outside. You can almost see the wheels spinning in referee "Blind" Jamie Tucker's head: "Hmm....boss said I can't call DQ's anymore. Still, they're outside the ring fighting with guys not in this match...hey, wait! 1! 2! 3! 4!" and so on. They're almost backstage by the time he gets to 10, and 3 Count win. (COR 2:15) Post-match, JOBBED TO DAVID ARQUETTE comes out and lays each man out with one punch - just in case we were going to confuse them with somebody getting a push in WCW.

Here's a look at Bret Hart's dressing room, where six security tomato cans stand guard outside. Call me nuts, but if *I* were Goldberg and looking for Hart, the first place *I'd* probably check is behind the big door with the BRET HART sign. I wonder if Goldberg is watching this show on a monitor? Don't be silly; of COURSE he's not

Time for some thinly disguised commercials - I mean, clips from the Thunder Tailgate Party, thanks to Valvoline Max Life

GENE O. works tonight! And he stands with Crowbar...and the iWatch logo. "Daffney...I'm happy for you. Shane Douglas - Troy Martin - this is Devon talkin' to ya - the real man. Not the entertainer, but the athlete. And what you did to me last week goes far beyond the realms of sports entertainment. You tried to take food off of my plate, you tried to end my career, and you even tried to end my life. In case you haven't noticed, Shane, I'm the one that can take anything that the guys dish out here at WCW, and unfortunately for you, you ain't gonna make it to that scaffold match. The only place you're goin' after tonight is a hospital bed."

Time now for the Lava Lamp Lounge, with your host AWESOME MULLET. Sofa, lava lamp, strobe light, candle, lamp covered by beads, leisure suit - Awesome ain't no Roddy Piper, but I bet Piper looked JUST like that in the seventies. His first guest is "Paula Pamshock" - aka PAMELA PAULSHOCK - who brings out a magic lamp (suitable for containing incense, no doubt) as a gift. The background music is that Barry White ripoff. Stevie Ray: "Tony?" Tony: "Don't say it." Awesome fails to ask "who'd you sleep with to get this job?" and instead hits on Paulshock. Hey, Pam likes guys with a sense of humour - I'M a guy with a sense of humour! I'm watching THIS show, aren't I? We are spared further exposure as JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET comes out. Ray called women "yaks" again! Jarrett: "What the hell is wrong with you?" Jarrett avoids the obvious Eddie Money comparison and proclaims Awesome a cross between John Travolta and Austin Powers - for an encore, he refers to Paulshock as a blonde slapnut. Instead of working on his cheesy one-liners, he'd best worry about their Bunkhouse Brawl coming up at Fall Brawl - then they start fighting. Highlight is Jarrett reversing an Irish whip into the sofa. No, SERIOUSLY. That whip reversal just shows up in the *oddest* places... Paulshock tries to keep Jarrett from swinging the gee-tar at Awesome, so he turns to her instead. This brings out GENE O. to play white knight for *her*...Awesome makes his way back into the picture so Jarrett Kabongs him instead as Paulshock ends up in Okerlund's arms - ummm, better move that arm a little higher, Gene.

The Castrol Motor Oily Replay is - and you really can't read this enough times to understand how truly absurd it is - Jarrett *reversing the whip into the sofa* and then breaking the guitar over Awesome's head.

Fall Brawl promo

THE FRANCHISE (with Torrie Samuda, the TV-PG-DLV ratings box, the iWatch logo and Let Us Take You Back to Last Monday) - OR IS IT TROY MARTIN v. CROWBAR - OR IS IT DEVON? - Franchise gets some cheap Aggie heat, talks about Billy Kidman (who?), calls himself a tidal wave, and reminds us that last week, when he took on Goldberg, only one man came out of it with blood streaming down his face and "his initials are GOLDBERG!" Hey, is it just me, or do Torrie's nipples not line up? (And if you think I shouldn't be asking stuff like that, well, she shouldn't be wearing stuff that makes 'em point out like that, then.) Let's bring out Crowbar so he can get his ass Franchised - "that's a fact! That's a fact! That's a fact - jackass!" Man, that catchphrase is OVER. Crowbar tosses aside his pipe and rushes the ring. Oh, did I mention his taped ribs? No? Well, there you go. Duck, right, right, right, chop, chop, Ten Punch Count Along, but "ten" is a skull munch, there's the tenth punch. Whip into the opposite corner, big back body drop, clothesline, clothesline. Stevie Ray: "What did he mean by 'this is Devon?' I heard him say that, what'd he mean by that, Tony?" "I guess he's using his given name - his first name, yes, Devon." "How do you know that?" "I *don't* know that - maybe Devon is an imaginary friend of his, I don't know, I'm only assuming." Tenay quickly drops the knowledge that yes, these guys are really Devon and Troy. Choke on the top rope - referee "Blind" Mark Johnson breaks it up. Crowbar yanks back on the top rope and Franchise falls backwards. To the rear chinlock we go! Crowbar raking the eyes. Crotching him on the top rope. Dropkick sends him to the outside. Crowbar sells his ribs for a while, then baseball slide dropkicks through the ropes to the outside. Has Franchise gotten a move in yet? No? Mmm. Crowbar on the apron - big plancha! Crowbar grabs his broken ribs and cries out. Crowbar with a kick. Into the barricade. They're at the commentary table - head to the table. Blatant choke. "Tony, can you get a towel and wipe that up, please?" Crowbar sets up the STEEL steps. Right, right, shoulder to the barricade, skull munch, headbutt, whip into the steps - but Franchise stops short, turns around, and meets a charging Crowbar by dumping him ribs first onto the steps. Hey, three and a half minutes of nonstop offense for Crowbar - stopped by the dreaded whip reversal. I think we can ALL learn something here. Franchise drops his ribs on the barricade. Stomp, stomp, stomp, ribs every time. Into the apron. Right, right, Stevie Ray reminds us that Torrie is a "squakk." Crowbar rolled back in - Franchise on the top rope - clothesline. Into the ropes, abdominal stretch. Franchise grabs the top rope and Johnson actually SEES it, but doesn't tell him to break the hold...just let go of the rope. Crowd actually working out a "Crowbar" chant...Crowbar fighting it...hiplock takeover! Into the ropes, Crowbar ducks a clothesline, ducks a back elbow, right, right, right, into the ropes, back elbow, removing his belt and wrapping his fist - loaded right! CHOKE with the belt! Johnson finally notices an illegal object and demands that Crowbar toss it, so he does. Northern Lights suplex...gets 2. Arm wringer, got him on his back - Spicolli Driver! 1, 2, NO! Into the ropes, reversed, Crowbar ducks the clothesline, knee to the lower back, setting him up for a reverse DDT - 1, 2, Torrie in to break it up! She claws him in the eyes for good measure. Crowbar grabs her and shoves her down by the hair - then turns around to eat the Franchiser. Well, there you go. 1, 2, 3. (Boeing 7:07) DAFFNEY UNGER is out with a kick for Torrie - scoop...and a slam! Whip into the barricade...is reversed. Oh, may. Torrie with a kick, hairpull takeover, rolled into the ring. Stevie Ray: "Lookit this yak fight!" OZZIE is out, but seems content to simply watch from the floor. Daffney crotches Torrie on the second rope. Down they go again - now Franchise is over to break it up - now Ozzie comes in to save his woman - whoops, Franchise is wiping the floor with him. Now, MADUSA is out - well, why the hell NOT. Jumping back kick in the gut for Wilson - Franchise catches a kick, then catches an enzuigiri with his head. They play Madusa's music as Franchise and Torrie are run out of the ring....leaving us all to collectively scratch our heads (or our balls, depending)

Meanwhile, Goldberg is WALKING! He's actually *found* Bret's door! Needless to say, he runs through four of the security guys before the other two beg off and let him pass. He goes in...to find an empty dressing room. Looks like he'll have to keep looking...what's the hallmark of a WCW show? One guy...looking for another guy...FOR TWO HOURS.

Close captioning where available on Thunder sponsored by Meineke discount muffler shops!

BRET CLARKE is out to probably make fun of the fact that Goldberg's still looking for him out in the back while he's out here talking to us...and the iWatch logo. Schiavone actually works in a "why Bret why" into his commentary - yeesh. Stevie Ray: "I just wanna know why would he come out with a 1969 Atlanta Falcons jersey on." Tenay loses cred with me by actually coming out and id'ing the Stampeders jersey. Hey, Tenay, you don't have to know EVERYTHING. "Just try and give me a teeny bit of respect - okay? That's all I ask. What the hell happened to wrestling? Hey, Mike Awesome, you're work ha- you're worth half as much as you were fifteen minutes ago. You know, I've been waiting a long time to come out here and say a few things, so I'm gonna get a lot of things off my chest, and I know who's got the stroke around here, it's Vince Russo. Yeah, well say whatever you want, but I know and you know the truth, that standing right here before you is the greatest professional wrestling in the history of the world of wrestling...and ever since I came to the WCW, from the very very first second that I got here, I got screwed over and screwed over and screwed over... (Stevie Ray: "He shoulda knew that before he came!") The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be - go ahead, look at me! I've beaten every single wrestler in the WWF from the Undertaker to Austin to the Rock to Shawn Michaels to Vince McMahon...I came to the WCW and I beat every single wrestler here from Sting to good ol' Bill Goldberg. And the only person that ever gave me a chance was Vince Russo - from the day he got here I started gettin' title matches, I started gettin' what I deserved...I want you to play that footage! Play the footage of Bill Goldberg. THIS is Bill Goldberg - the mother of all potatoes, right here? See that there? That cost me millions of dollars of a supposed guaranteed contract...so Bill Goldberg, I hope you're proud o' yourself, 'cause I'm dealing with all sorts of complications now. I got 10% permanent disability or injury in my brain - possibly for the rest of my life. Oh, I couldn't buy that ranch that I wanted to. (Some name from the "legal department" whose name got muted) waitin' in Atlanta to put a slug in the back of my head, and everything I ever said about bein' a circus animal is true! Bill Goldberg, you talk about bein' some kinda activist for cruelty to animals, but the fact is you were beyond cruel to me, you tried to end my career, and you tried to end my life, and nobody did (a God) damn thing about it!" Here comes COLD BEER. "Oh, I guess he's come to finish the job - wanna finish the job, Bill? Go ahead, finish the job! Why don't you get a steel chair or something else? Why don't you get a baseball bat? Why don't you bust me over the head again? Why don't you do that other 90% that you didn't do already?" "Let me set the record straight, Bret." "Set the record straight, Bill." "Right now...that 90% of that brain of yours that's workin', I bet you're wonderin' why I'm not the real Goldberg and separate your head from your body in front of all these people, huh? Bet you're wonderin' that, hey Bret. Well lemme tell you why. Lemme tell you why I gotta restrain myself. Well the fact is, Bret, every time I step into this damn ring, and every time when I play professional football, when I put that helmet on, I was prepared to go to war. I was prepared to fight to the death - to do my job - I was prepared to hold my head up high every time I walked in and out of this ring, but ever since that night, Bret, I can honestly tell you, and I can tell these people, I do have some remorse. I do feel for you, Bret. Sometimes, I even wish that it was me. That that happened to." "Wish that it was you? Wish that it was you?! I wake up every day and I wish it was you, too. Ya know why? I didn't even get a phone call! I didn't even get any care - you didn't care about me - all you cared about was about yourself! All you cared about was whether your toys are on the shelf - whether your T-shirts were on the market out there - whether everyone's wearing Goldberg shirts - there's a Goldberg stuffed thing right there! All you care about is yourself! There's no toys of me, there's no T-shirts of me, there's nothing for me! You ended the greatest - history - wrestler - in the career - everything - you ended it, because you felt like endin' it." "No, I ended it, Bret, because I came out and I did my damn job. But still - still - every night, I wonder, and I wonder...if that woulda happened to me, where I'd be today. Now, the truth is Bret, when I was growing up, and I was watching professional wrestling, there were a couple people I looked up to...and I'm here to tell you that you were one of 'em. You WERE one of 'em. But not anymore, Bret. I've heard your whining, I've heard the crap on the TV shows, I've heard the shoot interview, and I've head about e-damn-nough. So lemme tell you one thing...naw, you ain't worth it. Get outta here before I do something that I'm gonna regret again." Goldberg leaves the ring. "Yeah, you go ahead, kid - go back to the dressing room, you know why? 'Cause you never had it in the first place, and you never will." Goldberg steps back through the ropes. Hey, "Madden Fears Hyatte" sign in the crowd! Too bad the man doesn't WATCH this show, eh? "Don't you even think about touchin' me, ya big cheap (bastard) - you touch me - you lay one finger on me, I'll sue you for everything you've got." "Sue this!" But before Goldberg can follow up on the choke, WHITE THUNDER is out (with headdress) with a pipe to the back. Hart continues. "See this here? This is a stupid idiot. Do him in, Scotty! This guy's so stupid, he fell right into the trap - and he's gonna fall into every trap, 'cause he's dealing with a different kind of Hitman! Scotty, make him pay!" Steiner Recliner. Come on, Bill, show us how much you care! Show us how much you care, Bill! Come on, Bill! Come on, Billy! Come on, Billy!" Goldberg is out. Steiner kicks away some refs who are trying to get in the ring. "Goldberg! At Fall Brawl, I'm gonna finish your ass! All you white tra--" oops, just faded out.

The 1-800-CAL-LATT Road Report reminds you that Nitro is in Charlotte this Monday!

Advance Auto Parts presents "This Week in WCW Motorsports!" Blaise Alexander drove the WCW 81 car with a Vampiro paint job (emphasis on "job") in the Food City 250. Go figure - they crashed and didn't finish. Next week, they'll try at Richmond with a Jeff Jarrett hood. Sheesh, do they draw these names out of a hat or what? ("They use a dartboard." Huh? "They throw darts to decide." Ohhhh....thanks.)

Scott Steiner and some blonde load up their car...and drive away.

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim (Savage), Boston Market TV dinners, Catbo, America (ha!) Online, Lean Pockets from Hot Pockets, and Stone Street Cash Scam

At Fall Brawl, this graphic says, Goldberg will take on Scott Steiner!

WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE: RAYMOND STEREO & DE JOOS (with Konnan, Tygryss & Disco) v. HARRYS BROTHYRZ - For the LAST time, HERE is how you tell the Harris twins apart: Ron is the GOOD-LOOKING one. Disco and Konnan take headsets and let's face it, if I had to choose between transcribing Bret and Goldberg and giving you play-by-play of this match, I think I made the right choice by waiting until NOW to lay out. Q: What's the sound of five men constantly stepping on each other's lines? Broncobuster by Tygress on Heavy D, Mysterio in from behind for the double "facefulo'stuff." Juvi wants to make it a triple, but Don gets his boot up to counter it. Big Ron tosses Guerrera, tries to clothesline Mysterio, but he ducks it so Ron's on the outside. And now KRONYKK are out with a baseball bat. Disco meets them on the aisle - and quickly goes down. Ron dumps Mysterio wheelbarrow style on the safety rail. Kronic over with a shot for Ron - Ron AND Rey are both dumped in the ring, Rey landing on top. Referee "Blind" Billy Silverman decides he's done talking to Don on the outside and comes back in to count a fall. (6:03)

Coming up next, a look at Russo'z Revynge!

Promotional consideration paid for by the WCW Nitro trading card game, Lean Pockets (again), Corn Nuts, America (again!) Online, Boston Market TV dinners (again), and Motel 6 7/8

Here's a Special Video Look at the War Games match

After that match, Booker T. met his family and friends backstage...and cut this promo: "You know something...Big Nash, you see all these people right here? These are MY people! They're here for me and me only! So let me tell you something, at Fall Brawl - sick, bruised, tired, torn, ragged and worn, it don't make no difference - your ass belongs to me. And furthermore, when it's all over with, when it's all said and done, I got one thing to say to you. Don't hate the playa [crowd: "Hate the game!"] Can u dig it?"

Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash - World Heavyweight Title Match - Fall Brawl

No holds barred, NEXT! Sting is WALKING!

Hey, how's about one more WCW Thunder Tailgate Party ad-in-disguise? Thanks, Yamaha! Notice how they airbrush out the title around Big Vito's waist in that one shot? Make you wonder why they DIDN'T try to airbrush Buff Bagwell...

Here's a Special Video Look at the long, storied history between Sting and Vampiro...and the iWatch logo

NO HOLDS BARRED: THE JOBBIN' JUGGALO (with Insane Clown Posse) v. (THIS IS) STING - Let me get this straight. Monday, Sting tore through Vampiro AND Muta in 1:11 and you expect me to care about Sting taking on JUST Vampiro now? *Especially* considering that Tenay and Ray lay out, leaving Tony to call the match with the Insane Clown Posse? Although this match *is* JCW-sanctioned, we are told, this is not a JCW heavyweight title bout - this is because deep down, they KNOW Vampiro's gonna job to him. The clowns *also* say that no matter what the outcome of the match is, Sting shall be declared the loser. Well, give 'em credit - they found a way for Vampiro to win. What's more embarrassing - giving commentary time to the Insane Clown Posse - or giving commentary time to WCW Live hosts? Tossup. Why, SURE, the clowns interfere freely when the action gets near the commentary table. Q: What's a juggalo? A: The only type of fan that'll actually *pay* to attend a Thunder taping, judging from the signage at ringside. No WONDER they give the ICP anything they want - they're the only people drawing money in WCW! Finish sees Shaggy 2 Dope throw the JCW title belt at Sting's knee while he tries his second Stinger splash. Poor Sting has to try to believably sell this. Vampiro in for the Nail in the Coffin - but Sting turns the attempt into a Scorpion Death Drop for the pin. Vampiro jobs! Vampiro jobs! Vampiro jobs! (6:41) Violent J quickly announces Vampiro as the winner of the JCW-sanctioned match as Dope and Vampiro doubleteam Sting. Here comes GREAT MUTA...to rescue Sting? Well, after he pulls Sting out of the ring, J asks him to prove himself - is he Dark Carnival or not? Sting ducks the green mist - early. Agonizing seconds go by - then Muta mists Violent J when he finally comes over. Sting goes ahead and beats up Muta anyway as if he wasn't sure Muta was aiming for him or not. And now COLD BEER is out? What - Madusa wasn't available? He lets Sting and Muta pass, then gets in the ring. Spinning heel kick from Vampiro is ducked. ICP double clothesline doesn't budge him. Elbow for J, right for Dope. They're both down. Goldberg catches ANOTHER kick, then slams Vampiro. HE'S out cold. Vampiro jobs again! Vampiro jobs again! Vampiro jobs again! Goldberg has THE STICK: "STEINER! I ain't worried about you, 'cause I got your ass at the end of the month. But Bret Hart...get your ass out here!" Hart fails to show up. "I'm waitin' Bret!" On the Thundertron, Team Canada appears. Storm: "Goldberg - in case you forgot - you ended Bret Hart's career. But there's still a couple Canadians left. I'll be more than happy to come down there and kick your ass. You let me finish taping up - we'll be right there." Skipper expresses surprise while Gunns supresses a laugh.

COLD BEER (already in the ring) v. LANCE STORM & ELIX SKIPPER - "Before we come down and kick your ass, Bill - everybody rise for the playing of the Canadian national anthem!" Goldberg visibly yawns as the first man to talk over the anthem is Stevie Ray - SHAME! "Tony! Sit down! For once!" Goldberg lets it go (:18) before saying "Cut that crap! Cut it! You guys wanna step up to the plate...be my guest." Where's Gunns? What the heck am I supposed to watch now? The wrestling? Hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha... Storm and Skipper have a brief discussion about who will enter first. Then they BOTH enter. Storm shoves Skipper towards Goldberg...and he leaves the ring. Now Storm is out as well. The debate...continues. "USA!" Storm shoves Skipper INTO Goldberg. He tries a right. Skipper ducks a clothesline and runs to the corner - leaping up to the top rope, backflip, landing on his feet - and speared. He points to Storm...who walks away. But GENERAL RECTION is waiting a the top of the ramp - yes, friends, *General Rection* is in the overrun. Pound, pound, Storm thrown in - Goldberg with a pumphandle overhead toss and release. Here's a spear for you. Remember when Storm had three titles? That's the guy getting jackhammered there. 1, 2, 3. (1:36)