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WCW Thunder by E.C. Ostermeyer |
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MainBLAH |
(Author's Note: This recap is being completed through a haze of cold medications. I got a flu shot Wednesday. I got the flu on Thursday. Just my luck.) This is the "WCW Thunder" report for Wednesday, 1 November 2000, and I'm your recapper, the ol' Reaper himself, E.C. We open the show with film montage of last Monday night's Nitro extravaganza. Except for the Hulkster and DDP, looks like the Millionaires Club is back in business. YEOW! A chopped and channeled red '32 Roadster just pulled into the lot behind the gym at UCal/Irvine. It's the "Eliminator!" ZZ TOP in the HOUSE! Nah, it's just a Plymouth Prowler. The Prowler has a New Jersey license plate. "WHO COULD THIS BE?" hollers Tony Schiavone. Opening Credits. Yep, Juvy's still there. I wonder if he gets paid a royalty for having his image on Thunder's opening credits? I guess we'll never know, will we? Taped Monday, 30 October 2000 before, during, and after Nitro. Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Mark Madden. Sigh. And me with my Reaper robes at the dry cleaners. Lousy trick-or-treaters! Next year I bring the SCYTHE along; that'll fix 'em! To the ring, where Three Count are holding forth. There appears to be dissension amongst the team-mates, as Evan Karagias has adopted he attitude that his chiseled physique is WAY too fine to have it hidden behind the likes of Shane Helms and Shannon Moore. A fuss-fest over who's the leader of the team devolves in an attempt by Helms to get their song and dance act started. Mercifully, the Jung Dragons make an appearance at ringside, led by their manager Leia Meow. Leia's costume this week appears, in large part, to be composed of bonds and straps, accessorized with a riding crop and bitchy attitude. Match #1: Three Count d. Jung Dragons (w/ Leia Meow), (Double-team "The Move" finisher by Helms & Moore on Jamie San/Karagias pin, 5:37) Footage narrated by Mike Tenay shows how Ms. Meow brought her own brand of "discipline" to the Jung Dragons. Poor Jamie San seems to bear the brunt of her "special attention." The match starts as a Pier Six brawl, with all six wrestlers careening around the ring. First out of the ring is Evan Karagias and Shannon Moore. Yang & Kaz Hayashi make sure they stay there with a double moonsault off the ring apron. In the ring, Jamie San and Helms are putting on a high-speed match of their own, that ends with a kneelift to Helms' gut, followed by Jamie San putting the boot in. Leia Meow's screeching at Jamie San to help his teammates at ringside, who are pinioning Karagias and Moore. Jamie San obliges with a leaping pescado from the top rope to the floor. Unfortunately, Karagias and Moore duck away, and he nails the pescado on his two teammates. Moore drags Yang out of the wreckage and tosses him back in the ring for Helms to play with. Helms does a quick cross-ring whip, then sets, and nails Yang with a reverse neckbreaker. Tag to Moore. Helms suplexes Yang, as Moore vaults the top rope and lands a senton across Yang's lower body. Boot to Yang's gut, followed by a cross-ring whip, but Yang reverses, hitting Moore with a stiff clothesline in the process. Yang tags Jamie San, who pummels Moore with four quick rights, and a scoopslam. Springboard senton leap from the middle rope misses, as Moore rolls out of the way. Standing clothesline attempt by Moore gets ducked by Jamie San, who follows up by punching Moore into the Wrong Part of Town, and tags Kaz Hayashi in the process. Hayashi enters the ring, as Jamie San sets the whip, but Moore reverses, then leap-frogs the rebounding Jamie San, who runs full-tilt into Kaz Hayashi, flattening him. Hayashi bounces back up, and gets a finger into Jamie San's face, only to get Moore's forearm right in the mouth. As Jamie San and the referee argue about who should be in the ring, Kaz whips Moore across the ring. Moore ducks the clothesline, rebounds off the far ropes and then hits what can only be described as a twin-axis 720 hurancanrana, going pole-to-pole, then around the equator of Kaz Hayashi, finally hooking Kaz to the mat. This, of course, dumbfounds the announce team, and we get a lot of blather about what that last move was called. Moore drags Kaz to his feet and tags in Karagias. Scoopslam by Moore, who then sets Kaz up for the "make-a-wish" move. Karagias, however, wants to do something less team-oriented, and waves Moore to the corner. Helms is pantomiming a "what the -?" move quite well. Karagias pummels Kaz in the near corner, then whips him across the ring, and sends Kaz face-first to the mat with a drop toe-hold. Karagias then walks up Kaz's back, and does some "moves for the ladies." Kaz leaps up, spins Karagias around, and chops him twice viciously across the throat. A cross-ring whip by Kaz gets reversed. Karagias sets for the back body drop, but Kaz holds onto the ring ropes, and kicks Karagias right on the chin. Roll-up into a small package, cover by Kaz, 1,2, Karagias kicks out. Evan's the first to his feet, and he clotheslines Kaz, then stomps him a couple of times for good measure. Cross-ring whip by Karagias into a scoopslam, but Evan decides to do some poses for the ladies, despite the hollers of his teammates to pin the guy already! A blatant choke by Karagias gets warned off by the referee. Moore and Helms, are hollering for a tag, but Karagias isn't finished just yet. Elbow drop from karagias, followed by a cross-ring whip. Kaz reverses, then sets up a wheelbarrow slam, only to have Karagias reverse it into a facebuster. More posing, and the freakin' ANNOUNCERS are hollering at Karagias to just PIN THE GUY ALREADY! Karagias goes over to Helms and Moore, asking them to just be patient. Helms won't be, and tags in with a slap to Karagias' shoulder and a Look. Helms starts stomping away on Kaz, as the referee's having trouble getting Karagias out of the ring. Helms with his OWN choke hold which the referee puts a stop to. Back body drop by Helms, but Kaz rolls through, and tries for a spinning heel kick. Helms ducks the kick, takes a swipe at Kaz, who ducks scoots back to his corner, and tags in Yang. Helms swings a roundhouse right at Yang's head. Yang ducks puts three stiff punches into Helms' gut, then nails him with a chokeslam. Moore jumps in to save Helms, only to get a blizzard of punches in bunches from Yang right in the breadbasket. Karagias leaps in, to face Yang in windmill-mode. Yang stops the windmill, and does a great Three Stooges eye-poke. Yang then poses in "crane" style.jamie San enters and corrals helms in the near corner, while Yang works over Shannon Moore across the ring. Helms shoves Jamie San off, but he leaps back in, and just avoids getting squashed by a Yang backflip. Jamie tries fo r a running clothesline on helms, but Helms ducks again, and Jamie San nails Yang with the clothesline. Moore goes over and stomps on Jamie San. Leia Meow, at ringside is screeching right in Jamie San's ear-hole, as Kaz Hayashi is tossed over the top rope by a Helms back body drop. Helms vaults over the top rope and hits Kaz with a sloppy-looking pescado. Cross-ring whip by Moore on Jamie San, but he holds on, and knee-lifts Jamie San right in the gut, doubling him over, then nailing jamie San face-first to the mat with his signature back of the neck legdrop. Helms and Moore spike Jamie San with "The Move", a double-team combination Samoan drop/neckbreaker. Karagias wades in, covers Jamie San, and gets the pin before Helms and Moore can do anything about it. This prompts a hot argument between the members of Three Count, which ends with Karagias getting "The Move" put on him as well. Three count (Two Count? Aw, heck...) heads back up the ramp, pleased withthemselves.. Whoops, looks like we've got trouble in both camps, as Leia Meow's in the ring, just tearing Jamie San a new one. Jamie San gets to his knees, only to get paintbrushed by Leia Meow. Oops, wrong move, darlin', as Jamie San's had enough abuse. Leia, incensed, makes to pull Jamie San's mask off. Jamie San roughly knocks her hand away, and gets clotheslined from behind by Yang. Kaz, who's been stomping on Evan Karagias all this time, then delivers a smashing kick to the side of Jamie San's head. Leia Meow then rips the mask off Jamie San's face to reveal... ...Jaime Howard, a wrestler familiar to you fans of the old "WCW Saturday Night" show. The Announcers are stunned that Jaime Howard, a Caucasian, should be part of an all-Asian team like the Jung Dragons. I wonder how Merrick Bernstein's getting along with that racial discrimination lawsuit against WCW? Sigh. Jaime Howard and Evan Karagias both tap back into consciousness about this time, and are both surprised at their being "dumped" by their respective teams. Looks like we just created three two-man tag-teams. Commercials. We come back, and it's "Mean Gene" Okerlund's "mic-in-the-bazoo" interview segment. Today's guests are Chuck Palumbo and ol' Big Sexy, errr, "Coach" Kevin Nash. The topic of discussion is, of course, Sean Stasiak's departure from the Natural Born Thrillers, and the breakup of the "Perfect Event" tag-team. Nash says he's tired of Stasiak's letting the team down, thus, he's out of the "Thrillers, and that he, Nash, has booked Stasiak in a match with Chuck Palumbo for later in the show. Palumbo says that Stasiak couldn't cut it as a "Thriller", and was never part of the team anyway. Nash tells Palumbo to put on his "game face" then pops him one on the butt, which disturbs Mean Gene NO end! Nash, grinning, pops Okerlund one on the butt. Okerlund starts giggling like a little girl, which really disturbs ME no end! As Tony shills for Castrol GTX ("It's a motor oil! It's a personal lubricant! Stop, you're BOTH right!") we see Devon "Crowbar" Storm backstage. He's apparently asking WCW Security Chief Doug Dellinger if he has any job openings. At this moment, Bam Bam Bigelow walks through the door. Crowbar, being an amiable cuss, says "Hi, Bam Bam! Good to see you!" Bigelow says "Good to see you TOO!" and promptly smashes Crowbar into the steel door. Crowbar drops like a pole-axed steer. Bam Bam tells Dellinger that "I'm tired of sittin' at home! Your tell all these punks like this," (indicates the fallen Crowbar,) "in the WCW locker room that Bam Bam's back and he's gunnin' for them! You got that?!" "Yeah, I got that,"says Dellinger, who looks like he's about to call WalMart and see if that Greeter's job is still available. Match #2: "PrimeTime" Elix Skipper d. Lt. Loco (w/ Major Gunns), ("Foreign Object" (CFL Championship Ring) to the forehead,/pin, 4:34) PrimeTime comes to the ring and calls out Lt. Loco, saying that he'd been disrespected by Loco's portrayal in the MIA's "Canada, Eh?" skit on Nitro. Footage shows Lt. Loco doing "WhineTime", complete with Mr. T's jewelry collection around his neck. Lt. Loco and Major Gunns come to the ring. Gunns is back in her customary tight camo shorts and white "Bombs Away!" t-shirt. They spend time at ringside mocking Skipper, who's getting angrier by the minute. As the match begins, Mike Tenay shills for his upcoming "Thunder Shoot Interview" with Sean Stasiak later in the program. The bell sounds, and Skipper tries to sucker punch Lt. Loco right off. Loco ducks, reverse Skipper into the corner, and starts pounding away. A cross-corner whip by Loco sends Skipper all the way across the ring. Skipper attempts a floatover on Loco's charge-in, but Loco catches him in mid-float, then powerslams him to the mat. Skipper gets up, and goes right back down from a runnnig clothesline from Lt. Loco. Major Gunns is bouncing most fetchingly on the opposite side of the ring. Loco sticks Skipper with a double dropkick that sends PrimeTime out of the ring. Now Gunns is leading the ringside fans in a cheer for Lt. Loco, which ticks off Skipper really bad. He leaps back into the ring, trying for the sucker punch again, and gets a boot to the gut this time. Skipper shakes it off, does a go-behind into a waistlock, but Loco escapes with a couple of well-aimed elbow shots to the head. A flying shoulder block from Loco drops Skipper to the mat. As Loco starts chopping ("Whooo!") away at Skipper, the crowd starts chanting "Take it off! Take it off!" at Major Gunns, who blushes prettily, and smiles at the fans. Loco tosses Skipper over the ropes near Major Gunns, then follows him out to pinion Skipper's arms. This allows Major Gunns an unobstructed target for a BIG paintbrush slap in the face on Skipper. Tenay: "She slapped the taste right out of PrimeTime's mouth!" Loco climbs back in the ring, and this time Skipper's sucker punch connects. The announcers don't care, as the topic for discussion seems to be whether or not Major Gunns could have left Team Canada any time she wanted to. Cross-ring whip by Skipper gets reversed, and Skipper ducks away from Loco's clothesline. A Loco boot to the gut, followed by a knee-lift set Skipper up for another cross-ring whip, and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Loco with another kick to the gut, and Skipper's hurting. Loco nails Skipper with a fall-away suplex, then covers,1,2, Skipper kicks out! Loco swings a Big Right hand at Skipper, but Skipper weaves to one side. Another punch from Loco, and Skipper bends backward, bridging as the punch goes wide. Loco boots Skipper in the gut, then sets for a powerslam, but hotshots the back of Skipper's neck off the top rope, and tumbles them both to the ring apron. Loco's back up first, only to get a snap clothesline shot from Skipper, that tumbles them both off the ring apron. Major Gunns goes to Loco's aid, but gets chased away when Skipper whips Loco into the steel guardrail. Skipper then hotshots Loco off the top of the railing, which Loco sells like he'd just been decapitated. Skipper climbs back into the ring, then slingshots over the top rope into a cross-body block that drives Loco back to the floor. Skipper rolls Loco back in the ring. Cover, 1,2, Loco gets a shoulder up. (Topic of conversation at ringside is which CFL football team did Elix Skiper play for. Madden says it was the "Rough Riders." Tenay says that they're ALL named the "Rough Riders." He also says that Skipper never played for any of them.) Cross-ring whip by Skipper, but Loco counters, then nails Skipper with a spinning DDT. Two wildly-swung punches from each wrestler. Skipper tries a third and gets a belly-to-back suplex for his effort. Skipper drags himself to the corner, and groggily gets to his feet, only to get another kick in the gut from Loco. Major Gunns enters the ring at this time, for some "Bombs Away!" action on Skipper. Off comes the white T-shirt, revealing a remarkably well-filled camo-bikini top. The crowd's cheering like crazy. Gunns makes to boot Skipper right in the in-seam, but the referee stops her. Gunns starts arguing with the referee ("He's hit-mo-tized!" squeals Madden) which allows Skipper to break out of the corner, and try for a quick small package. Loco rolls with it, hooks the leg, but the ref's still distracted by Major Gunns and doesn't see the pin-attempt. Oops, now he does, but Loco only gets a 1-count before Skipper kicks out. Loco crawls to the corner, and slowly gets to his feet. Skipper tries for a running elbow shot, only to get a boot to the face. Undaunted, Skipper hooks on and hits a fast belly-to-belly suplex on Loco, who winds up in the opposite corner. As the refereechecks on Loco's condition, Skipper puts on the CFL Grey Cup ring. As he's about to punch Loco in the head, Gunns grabs his arm, and tries to rip the ring off his finger. Skipper tries to choke Major Gunns, allowing Lt. Loco to gut-shot Skipper, then try for a Sunset Flip. The ref's back arguing with Major Gunns, and doesn't see Skipper power out of the Sunset Flip attempt, then paste Loco one right in the forehead with the CFL ring. Cover,1,2,3. Your winner, "PrimeTime" Elix Skipper. Post-match, Major Gunns attends to the fallen Lt. Loco. Looks to me like he needs some "mouth-to-mouth" resuscitation. Commercials. Match #3: Sean Stasiak d. Chuck Palumbo (forfeit/non-appearance, 0:00) Coach Nash arrives at the announcers' table to provide commentary for the next match. Footage from Nito shows the match between Perfect Event and Kronik, and Stasiak's literal interpretation of Coach Nash's telling him to "take a walk!" Stasiak did, and left Palumbo in the clutches of Kronik. Kronik proceed to turn Palumbo into a smear on the canvas. Sean Stasiak comes out, and has some words with coach Nash. Coach Nash says that Stasiak "better not go there!" Palumbo's entry music plays, several times in fact, but no Palumbo. Shrugs and puzzlement all around. We then get a backstage camera shot of Palumbo waffled to a fare-thee-well in a hallway. Stasiak wins by forfeit. Commercials. Backstage, the NBT's are all crowded around Chuck Palumbo, as he's being tended to by the trainer. "I'm no Columbo," says Big Sexy, " But I think you got hit with this!" and drapes a bent section of angle iron across Palumbo's head. "If Stasiak's behind this," growls Nash, "he's S.O.L.!" Hey, Mean Gene's got Bam Bam Bigelow backstage. Mr. Bigelow is ticked off that he sat at home for FIVE MONTHS, GENE, not one phone call did he get! As regards Bill Goldberg, Bigelow says for Lex Luger to get in line, because Bam Bam's gonna ambush Goldberg, anytime, anywhere. The interview stops at this point as Crowbar wants to, ummm, confer with Mr. Bigelow. Dellinger and WCW Security are there to separate the two. "PulpFiction" montage shows the Goldberg/Bigelow feud from way back when. WAY back when, because we got Bobby Heenan doing play-by-play with Tony & Co. Those were the days, eh? Commercials. Match #4: Filthy Animals d. Boogie Knights, (Kidman w/ "KidKrusher" finisher on Wright/pin) BTW, Pamela Paulshock is lookin' FINE tonight! Though Konnan's on the stick for the "Arriba la raza!" schtick, it looks like Billy Kidman is the spokesman for the group tonight. He says, in so many words, that their match with WCW World Tag Champs Jindrak & O'Haire would have been okay, if they didn't have to carry the two mokes through the whole match. (Laughter and hoots from the fans.) Kidman goes on to say that the Boogie Knights couldn't be carried by anybody, they're just that bad! More derogatory comments about how Disqo and Wright messed up the Filthy Animals' chance at the Tag Titles, finally brings them down to the ring. What is Disqo wearing THIS week? Looks like he's been in Kwee-Wee's clothes closet again. Wright looks like Billy Corgan on steroids. We start with everybody in the ring, just walloping the tar out of each other. Referee Charles Robinson restores order, and its Wright and Kidman who get the go-ahead. Wright powerslams and then stomps on Kidman. Then Wright removes his leather jacket and starts flogging Kidman across the back with it. Cross-ring action, with Kidman and Wright doing several good moves, ending with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors from Kidman that slams Wright to the mat. Clothesline from Kidman misses, but Wright's big boot to the head doesn't and Kidman goes down. Tag to Disqo by Wright, and we get a "Disqo Sucks!" chant started in the crowd. Disqo's takes too long to establish control , and Kidman powers back with a double-handed front chokeslam that plants Disqo on the mat. Tag by Kidman to Rey Mysterio, who swan-dives off the top rope and onto Disqo's chest. Cross-corner whip by Rey gets reversed, and Disqo back body drops Rey over the top rope. Disqo jaws with the crowd, not seeing that Rey landed on the ring apron instead of the floor. Headbutt thru the ropes doubles Disqo over, and Rey then hits a flying headscissors that spins Disqo to the mat. Rey appears to have sprained a horn, because it's dangling off his forehead. Running legdrop by Rey keeps Disqo on the mat. Rey drags Disqo to the center of the ring, allowing Kidman to nail him with a guillotine legdrop off the top turnbuckle. Cover by Kidman, 1,2, Disqo kicks out. Cross-ring whip by Kidman gets reversed, Wright lowers the top rope, and Kidman tumbles over and down to the floor. Wright drops to the floor and starts putting the boot in on Kidman. Wright then rams Kidman back-first into the edge of the ring apron, then tosses Kidman under the ropes. Disqo's there to stomp a mudhole in Kidman, and finish off with a double axe-handle shot to the lower back. Tag to Wright, and Disqo sets up Kidman for the over-the-top cross-body block by Alex Wright. Three elbow drops from Wright, then he whips Kidman into the far corner, with a running elbow for a chaser. Backbreaker by Wright, who then leans on Kidman to add insult to injury. Tag to Disqo, who promptly bounces Kidman's noggin off the near turnbuckle. Disqo with punches in bunches, in the face, in the gut etc. Now it's lots o' kicks, but the ref. stops this. Disqo argues fo ra bit, then whips Kidman cross-corner. Disqo's run-in eats a big boot in the mush. Kidman tries for a hangman's neckbreaker, but Disqo slams a fist in Kidman's chest, stopping the attempt. Some Disqo-dancing in Rey mysterio's face, then a snap mare on Kidman, and a tag to Wright, who hits a towering stomp to Kidman's lower back. German suplex by Wright, who then locks on a cross-bow submission hold. Kidman won't submit, so Wright has to break the hold. While all of this is going on, Mark Madden makes several tasteless jokes at the expense of the German people. Abdominal Stretch by Wright, but Kidman still won't break, even when Wright uses the ropes, then Disqo, for leverage. Tag by Wright to Disqo, who nails Kidman with a reverse Atomic Drop, then clouts Rey a good one in the Filthy Animals' corner. Diamond Cutter attempt by Disqo, but Kidman pushes him off, and then hammers Disqo hard with a belly-to-back suplex. With both men down, Rey's trying to whip up some crowd support for Kidman, thiugh the crowd's pretty quiet despite all the good wrestling going on in the ring. The race to tag ends in a dead heat. Wright faces Rey Mysterio Jr., who promptly whips up on the big guy, and hits a guillotine legdrop of his own on the back of Wright's neck. Disqo's in for the save, only to get scoopslammed by Rey, then clobbered with a top-rope Asahi Moonsault. Rey covers Disqo, 1,2, Wright breaks it up. Wright starts manhandling Rey, tossing him like a rag-doll across the ring and back. Cover by Wright, hooks the leg, 1,2, Kidman dives in to break the pin attempt. Cross-ring whip by right on Kidman, but he sets for the back body drop too soon, and this allows Kidman to kick him in the face, then clothesline him over the top rope to the floor. Double-team by Rey and Kidman sends Disqo into the far corner. Kidmasn catapults Rey into Disqo, dropping him in the corner. Then Kidman does a vicious baseball slide right into Disqo's in-seam, and great is the distress of Disqo thereof. Bronco-buster by Rey ("Crotch full o' nose! Crotch full o' nose!" squeals Madden) gets interrupted when Wright hammers Kidman from behind. Rey hits Wright right in the head, then tries for cross-ring whip. Wright reverses, and Rey shoots past Disqo, who's waiting to clobber him on the return trip. Rey does that swing through the ropes move thingie, sets for a hurancanrana, but hangs onto the top ropes and Disqo takes a tumble to the floor. Meanwhile, Wright tries to powerbomb Kidman, only to have Kidman wriggle free then plant Wright face first in the ring with an Acid Drop that would have made Little Spike Dudley proud. It's "make-a-wish" time, with Alex Wright the unwilling participant. Rey climbs to the top turnbuckle, but sees Disqo about to re-enter the ring. The wish will have to wait, as Rey nails Disqo to the ringside floor with a huge giant splash. Alex Wright tries for another powerbomb attempt on Kidman, but Kidman reverses it into his "KidKrusher" finisher, and gets the pin and the win. Commercials. Mean Gene's got Crowbar backstage, who's calling out Bam Bam Bigelow. He's tired of being considered unsung talent, and always being stepped on. Tonight his climb to the top of WCW begins, whether management likes it or not. Win or lose, he just wants to hurt Bam Bam Bigelow. Match #5: Sgt. A-Wall d. Meng (chokeslam thru table/pin, 2:10) A-Wall comes out carrying a table. Lance Storm comes out and says that A-Wal shouldn't think he forgot about the rest of the MIA's just because he got walloped by General Rection at Halloween Havoc. Storm then calls out A-Wall's opponent, Meng. Madden just about has an orgasm when Meng walks out. A-Wall meets him at the ropes, as Lance Storm heads to the announcers' table for the color commentary. A-Wall gets a couple of clouts in, but Meng no-sells them all big time, then bellows his war cry and goes to work. Meng chops and kicks A-Wall to the mat, then shoves him in the corner and begins raining punches all over A-Wall's body. There's two Meng headbutts for good measure, and a cross-corner whip. A-Wall misses the corner, bouncing off the ropes, so he sort of slides into the corner. Meng stalks in, only to get a running clothesline as A-Wall charges out of the corner. A-Wall goes outside the ring, and tosses a steel chair back in. An attempt at a belly-to-back suplex gets stopped when Meng mule-kicks A-Wall right in the crotch. Meng grabs the chair, and wallops A-Wall with it. A-Wall falls like a felled tree, as Meng goes outside and tosses the table into the ring. Meng sets the table up in the ring, then turns to deal with Sgt. A-Wall. Ol' Sarge has been playing possum, and promptly chokeslams Meng through the table. Cover, and A-Wall gets the pin. Post match, an enraged Lance Storm berates Meng for his failure to defeat Sgt. A-Wall. Storm then makes a big mistake and slaps Meng across the face. "Look at me when I talk to you-u-u-r-r-rrkkk!" One Tongan Death Grip later, and it's Meng who's leaving the ring, and not Lance Storm. Castrol Replay shows A-Wall chokeslamming Meng through the table, and Meng making Lance Storm twist in the wind. Commercials. Backstage, Mean Gene's got Jeff Jarrett and Vampiro. Jarrett calls Ric Flair the NEW "Jurassic Slapass" and Sting's about to get paid off, too. Vampiro, smelling faintly of sour milk and poo-poo diapers, says he set Sting on fire once, way back when he was known as "Vampiro the Scary Gothic Dude," rather than "Daddy." Oh, and thanks to Mike Awesome for the injury at the PPV. It's "The Thunder Shoot Interview!" This week, we've got that bundle of raw energy and incomparable raconteur, Sean Stasiak. Poor Mike Tenay has the unenviable task of delving into the vast wasteland of this meat puppet's life. Briefly: 1) Stasiak's not losing sleep over being bounced from the Natural Born Thrillers. 2) Despite a lot of WCW's top talent going to the WWF, Stasiak, ever the maverick, jumped from the WWF to WCW. Only to be surprised and hurt that the WCW management put him in with those "NBT losers" instead of making him a superstar like he deserved, being the son of a former champ and all. 3) The NBT's weren't too thrilled with Stasiak, seeing him as an outsider, not part of the Power Plant grads. 4) Stasiak also feels Nash is using the NBTs' like he used the Clique and the N.W.O., but that he, Stasiak, wasn't going to be manipulated like that. 5) Stasiak has a "big surprise" planned for opponent Chuck Palumbo tonight, (as we have just seen,) and that he wasn't carrying Palumbo anymore. 6) Stasiak is out to prove that he can be a superstar on his own, and has set his sights on being WCW World Champion. Only if the rest of the WCW stable get eaten by beavers, Stosh. And do we even care at this point? Commercials. Match #6: Lance Storm d. Norman Smiley, ("Maple Leaf" finisher/submission, 9:43) Storm drags himself to the ring, still suffering from the effects of Meng's recent ministrations. No "Let me be serious, etc." tonight, it seems. Storm and Smiley open with a chain-wrestling clinic, with loads of holds, reversals, and re-reversals. The crowd here at UCal/Irvine is unimpressed, apparently. Full nelson trade-off by Storm and Smiley, finishing up with a Smiley Sunset Flip attempt, and a Storm kickout. Dropkick by Storm and a pin attempt. Smiley gets a foot across the ropes. Storm tosses Smiley to the floor at ringside. Storm climbs out of the ring, collects Smiley. Big suplex, followed by a Russian legsweep and a headscissors, Smiley wiggling out, and Storm claws at Smiley's face. Chop by Storm, (but no "Whoo!" from the crowd.) Storm retaliates, and the two exchange chops for a bit, in front of this really quiet bunch of fans. (This is getting disturbing, folks.) "Pedigree" from Smiley, followed up with a flying elbow off the second rope. Storm gets dumped over the ropes by Smiley, who then nails Storm through the ropes with a double mule-kick baseball slide. Storm groggily climbs back to the ring apron, where Smiley tries to suplex him over the ropes. Storm, ever vigilant, tries a Victory Roll, but Smiley rolls through it into a Big Wiggle, and now the crowd gets into the match. Jawbreaker by Storm, and a Northern Lights suplex, but botches the pin attempt. The two trade schoolboy presses and Victory rolls for a bit, ending with Smiley hitting a Moritano, cover, 1,2, no! Storm gets the upper hand when Smiley messes up a reversal, and slaps on the Maple Leaf , and gets the win. As a side note, Madden managed to ignore the entire match with his pointless prattle. Sheesh. Commercials. Match #7: Bam Bam Bigelow d. Crowbar, ("Greetings From Asbury Park" finisher/pin, 4:57) Looks like Crowbar got more than he bargained for, as Bigelow completely dominates the first part of the match. Huge "Avalanche" squashes Crowbar in the corner. Crowbar fought back, even nailing Bigelow with a towering senton off the top turnbuckle to the floor. More brawling at ringside, with the poor old announcers table taking a hit or two in the process. If Madden would just shut the heck up for thirty seconds, I might be able to enjoy this match for a change. Crowbar eats the steel guardrails on opposite sides of the ring. He recovers and DDT's Bigelow on the floor, then rolls him back in the ring. Missile dropkick from the top turnbuckle. Second attempt gets blocked by Bigelow, who hits a Samoan Drop, only to absorb another Crowbar DDT in the process. Bigelow drops Crowbar on his head with the "Greetings From Asbury Park" finisher. Commercials. "Mic-in the-Bazoo" time with Mean Gene and Da Champeen, Booker T.Apparently, he's got issues with having Scott Steiner pound on him two nights in a row. He's still the Champ, though he never pinned Steiner. "So Scott I know you want another shot at the Title, and I got something to prove to myself. So, at "WCW Mayhem", you make the rules, I don't care. Let's give the people a real Champion in the middle of that ring! Boo-yah!" Match #8: Sting & Mike Awesome d. Jeff Jarrett & Vampiro, (Awesome w/ Awesome Bomb on Vampiro/pin, 6:30) As Jarrett makes his entrance, we get a bunch-o' still-shots from "Halloween Havoc" detailing the show-topping match between Sting and Jarrett. Man, ain't NOTHIN' like watching two pros trying hard to put on a good show for the fans. Jarrett gets yet another angle for his work-order, calling Ric Flair the "NEW Jurassic Slapass." (Jarrett/Flair might not be a bad feud, either, IMHO.) Jarrett hten calls his partner, "Count Chocula" (good one, Jeff!) out so they can get this party started. More prattle from Schiavone about the Mayhem PPV. Out comes Vampiro, all leather and steel chains, looking very gothic and vengeful. Madden says he looks like something out of "Rocky Horror." Speaking from experience, are we, Madden? Mike Awesome arrives at ringside, as Schiavone voice-overs still-shots from the Awesome/Vampiro match at "Halloween Havoc." "WCW Mayhem" promo. Commercials. "WCW mayhem" promo Sting arrives in the ring, baseball bat in hand, and away we go. Sting and Jarrett bail out to ringside as Vampiro and Awesome battle in the ring. Running clothesline from Awesome misses, and Vampiro counters with a boot to the gut. Outsie the ring, Sting hotshots Jarrett's considerable chin off the steel guardrail, and we FINALLY have a lively bunch of fans for the first time tonight. Looks like it's SRO for the fans at ringside. Thesz Press attempt by Vampiro gets countered by Awesome, who then hits a quick release Belly-to-belly suplex that tosses Vampiro across the ring and into the near corner. Clothesline by Awesome sends Vampiro down to the floor. Awesome follows this up with a (my GOD!) "Look-Ma-No-Hands!" plancha OVER the top rope that nails Vampiro against the steel guardrail! This guy is 6'8", and over 285, and he's doing cruiserweight moves! Amazing! Back in the ring, it's Jarrett in the near corner working over Sting, then a cross-ring whip. Sting reverses, then hammers Jarrett to the mat with a clothesline. Sting then slams Jarrett into the far corner, and goes up top for the Ten-Count Punch-Down, with the crowd counting the blows, and Jarrett selling each one like he'd just been hit with a sledgehammer. Sting backs off, gauging his opponent, only to get waffled from behind by Vampiro, who joins with Jarrett in a good ol' double-team. Awsome breask this up with a hamer-blow of a right fist to Jarrett's back. Double cross-ring whip by Sting and Awesome, and Sting wallops Jarrett with another clothesline, while Awesome levels Vampiro with a BIG BOOT to the face. Vampiro and Jarrett bail out to ringside. Lots of gesturing and finger-pointing between the teams, which provides a good minute or so for everybody to catch their breath. We begin again, this time with Vampiro squaring off against Sting. Jarrett blindsides Sting with a sucker punch, allowing Vampiro to poke a thumb in Sting's right eye, and shove him against the far ropes. Vampiro takes Sting for a nice scrape around the ring-ropes, then drops Sting in The Wrong Part of Town, where Jarrett can bounce Sting's head off the top turnbuckle. Hot tag by Vampiro brings on a double-team clothesline by the heels on Sting. Sting groggily gets to his feet in the far corner, and gets pummeled by Jarrett, who adds some trash talk for emphasis. Sting ain't havin' trash talk, thank you, and wallops jarrett several times to make sure he got that point across. Cross-corner whip, Stinger Splash! Jarrett ducks away at the last second, and Sting eats the whole turnbuckle stack.jarrett tags Vampiro, who promptly goes after the groggy Sting. Cross-ring whip by Vampiro, who has to duck Sting's running lariat, then nails Sting with a powerslam. Nonchalant cover by Vampiro, 1,2, Sting gets a shoulder up. Another cross-corner whip by Vampiro gets reversed, but Sting agains gets suckered into another Stinger Splash, and gets a Vampiro Big Boot for his labors. Vampiro tries a leaping double-axehandle. Back-to-back clotheslines by Sting, who then tries a leaping splash, only to have Vampiro's knees. Tag by Vampiro To Jarrett. Sleeper hold by Jarrett on Sting. Sting fights out of it. Double running clothesline levels both grapplers. Now it's a race to see who tags first. Sting wins by a hair, and we get Awesome and Vampiro back in. Sidewalk Slam by Awesome, followed by a top-turnbuckle Awesome Splash, and a cover, 1,2, Vampiro kicks out. Jarrett's winding up for an "El-kabong" on Awesome, but Sting breaks that up with a line drive wallop from his Louisville Slugger. Sting chases Jarrett out of the ring and up the ramp, as Awesome nails Vampiro with a running Awesome Bomb shot, and gets the pin and the win. More shilling for the "WCW Mayhem" PPV, and we're done. See you next week. E.C. Ostemeyer [slash] wrestling Mail the Author |
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