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WCW Thunder by E.C. Ostermeyer |
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This is the WCW Thunder report for Wednesday, 10 January 2001, and I am your recapper, E.C. Ostermeyer. Show opens, appropriately enough, with a video montage from Nitro and last week's Thunder. It's sit-down time with CEO Ric Flair. The CEO tells us that tonight's Thunder is the last stop on the road to the WCW Sin PPV, a show that is sure to be the biggest PPV of the new year. Man, this guy could sell ANYTHING! Opening topic of discussion is that, because Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett faced each other on Monday Nitro, they may be better prepared for the World Title's Four Corner match at Sin. Ergo, Steiner will face Sid Vicious tonight. Oh, and if Steiner gets out of control, Flair will suspend him, strip him of the Title, and cancel his spot in the Four Corner match. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Thunder! Enjoy yourselves! Whoooo! Opening credits. Taped Monday 8 January 2001 from the X-Cel Arena in St. Paul, MN. Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and ol' "Whut the hay-ull that Disqo doin' in MY seat?" himself, Stevie Ray. Back part of the arena's dark again. Word is that half the crowd left after they finished taping Nitro. Sheesh! Your Announcers shill for tonight's show. The segment runs so long that we go right to Commercials. Backstage, WCW Commissioner Mike Sanders is giving the Natural Born Thrillrs the heads-up on tonight's show. Shawn Stasiak looks tired. Shane Douglas shows up, and asks the Thrillers for help, since Kronik is already booked tonight. TBS Superstation Enhanced Logo appears, as Douglas says that since he's got money to spend, the Thrillers might as well have it. "Whaddaya got in mind?" says Sanders. Match #1: Chuck Palumbo & Sean O'Haire d. Big Vito (w/ Johnny the Bull) & Kwee-Wee (w/ Paisley), (O'Haire w/"Sean-ton Bomb" on Kwee-Wee/pin, 6:46) Stevie Ray's on about Paisley interfering in matches. In fact, there's been a lot of "Yack" interference in matches lately. Paisley's wearing a big ol' floppy sweatshirt, and is STILL able to make it look sexy! This match grew out of the Minnesota Massacre on Nitro. The NBTs' are here to exact vengeance. Paisley swaps the sweatshirt for Big Vito's jacket and cap. The match is a deliberate affair, very slow-paced indeed. Tony says that Stevie Ray's got "Yack" problems, which Stevie Ray is quick to deny. The NBTs dominate the opening minutes. Stevie Ray says that Kwee-Wee looks like he escaped from the "Dragon Ball Z' show, with that "Yield sign" hair of his. Double-team by Kwee-Wee and Big Vito on Chuck Palumbo. Power surge and a double underhook suplex by Palumbo, and the NBTs regain the momentum. Hot tag by Vito and in comes Kwee-Wee in his "Angry Allan" persona, to wallop the tar out of Chuck Palumbo, then Sean O'Haire. Out comes Reno to hammer Johnny the Bull and Big Vito. This leaves Kwee-Wee alone in the ring with the NBTs, and O'Haire promptly squashes him with a "Sean-Ton Bomb", getting the pinfall. Post-match, the rest of the NBTs and Reno pummel the Mamalukes and Kwee-Wee. Reno nails Vito with the "Roll the Dice." Commercials. Mean Gene Okerlund's got Shane Douglas backstage. Douglas introduces his two tag partners for tonight's Six-Man Tag match: Shawn Stasiak and Mark Jindrak. Commissioner Sanders has also benched the MIA's Sgt. A-Wall and Cpl. Cajun for medical reasons. Looks like Gen'l. Rection's got a three-on-one match... ...unless he can get A-Wall & Cajun cleared by the doctor. Back to the broadcast booth, where Hacksaw Jim Duggan has joined the announce team. Jim's role as the referee in the Canadian Penalty Box match at Sin. Duggan says he's gonna be fair, and call it right down the middle. Match #2: Lance Storm & Elix Skipper (W/ Mke Awesome & Major Gunns) d. Billy kidman & Rey Mysterio, Jr. (w/ Konnan & Tygress), (Storm w/ "Maple Leaf" finisher/submission on Rey, 8:55) Superb match between two high-flying teams. Duggan does a decent, albeit slow-paced job as color commentator. Tygress looks great, as always. We open with a great chain wrestling set between the four contestants. High point of the match was a towering Lance Storm suplex off the top rope that hammers Kidman. Awesome and Konnan get into a shoving match at ringside. An interference attempt by Major Gunns gets Tygress in her face, and we get your weekly chance to try out your Joey Styles impression... "Catfight! Catfight!" Prime Time Elix Skipper tries to separate these two hellions, and isn't having much success. (Of course, if you're the "meat" in a "catfight sandwich", then the concept of "success" takes on a whole different meaning. Major Gunns nearly loses her top in the process.) (Ahem) ... back to the in-ring action, which, by now, has collapsed into a Pier Six brawl. Skipper gets walloped by Konnan, Awesome clobbers Konnan, Kidman hacks Skipper. This leaves Lance Storm and Rey Mysterio Jr. in the ring. After a hurancanrana attempt by Rey gets blocked, Storm converts it into a "Maple Leaf" and gets the submission. Post-match, Team Canada continues it's beat-down on the Filthy Animals. Backstage, A-Wall and Cajun arrive for their doctor's appointment. Yikes, they run into the NBTs, who demonstrate what "ER" would be like if Vince McMahon ran Medicare. Ether is involved. What's next? Embalming them alive? Commercials. Back from the break, Gen'l. Rection discovers the kayo'ed MIA's. Trainer Danny Young says that A-Wall & Cajun are not cleared to wrestle. "I gotta do this MYSELF??!!" Rection hollers at A-Wall & Cajun, then storms off. Sanders, Douglas & the NBTs are watching the preceding with great glee. "And that's all there is to it?" asks Douglas? "That's all there is to it," says Mike Sanders. "Please, guys, just leave a little bit of Rection for me," says Douglas with a nasty smile on his face. Mean Gene's got Kronik backstage. Kronik are VERY put out at Lex Luger and his pet stooge, Mr. Bagwell for forcing them into a match on Nitro, and stiffing them in the bargain. "Luger, Bagwell," growls Brian Adams, "because of your little stunt Monday, you just placed yourselves right at the top of the Kronik hit list." "Tonight, we're gonna have a little fun for ourselves," rumbles Bryan Clarke. CEO Ric Flair does the voice-over, as he runs the fight card for the "Sin" PPV, "Pulp Fiction" style. Real peppy and "info-licious!" Commercials. Tony announces a schedule change: In two weeks, WCW Monday Nitro (Winston-Salem, NC) will air on Tuesday, 23 January 2001 at 8:00 PM EST. Adjust your TiVo's accordingly , folks. Mean Gene's got a hyper-tense Gen'l. Rection backstage. Who gets really mellow when he lets it be known who his partners in the Six Man Tag match tonight will be. Cue entrance of the Insiders. Kevin Nash looks especially jovial tonight. Think he knows something about the sale of WCW? Hmmmm? And Hogan getting the book again? HMMMMM?! "I got something for you, Stasiak," says Big Sexy. "Turn around there, Gene-o..." He swats Gene on the butt. "Ha-right there!" says Nash. Mean Gene just about cracks up. Also backstage, Sid Vicious is walking, and talking to himself. Guess he likes to have an intelligent audience, huh? And here's Scott Steiner, who clocks Sid a good one. The pneumatic Midajah shows up, along with a Klown Kar full o' referees and WCW Security dudes. Steiner's apparently mad because he can't get lithium on credit anymore. Jeff Jarrett arrives and tries to calm Steiner down. "Not 'til Sunday, Scott! Not 'til Sunday!" pleads Jarrett. "I don' wanna wait 'til then!" bellows Steiner, stalking off in a rage. "The HELL you won't wait," hollers Jarrett after him. Commercials. Match #3: Gen'l. Rection & The Insiders d. Shane Douglas & Mark Jindrak & Shawn Stasiak, (Rection w/ powerslam on Douglas/ pin, 7:09). Just prior to the match, Douglas cuts a hilarious promo, pushing his feud with Gen'l. Rection along. Tony Schiavone says that the Franchise just got beat at his own game. After Jindrak and Stasiak arrive, out charges Rection, with the Insiders ambling along behind him. It's "Katy bar the door!" as Rection delivers swift justice to Shane Douglas, leaving the light work to the Insiders. Things settle down, as Diamond Dallas Page and Mark Jindrak square off. Page gets the better of Jindrak, who tags Stasiak in. Stasiak wants Big Sexy, so DDP tags Nash in. Stasiak, who appears to be in the last stages of bronzer poisoning, gives a credible performance. Nash, for once, decides to carry his load, and put the kid over. Jindrak & Douglas double-team Rection for a bit, then it's Douglas walloping Rection by himself. Quick tag series gets Stasiak and then Jindrak in to pummel Rection some more, before Douglas gets back to business. Front chancery by Douglas, but Rection hits a power surge and nearly makes the tag. Douglas, realizing Rection's about to shove him into the Wrong Part of Town, hollers for help from the NBTs. We get another Pier Six in the ring, and the rest of the NBTs pile out of the back to lend a hand. It's NBTs on the Insiders at ringside, leaving Douglas and Rection in the ring. Douglas goes for the steel chain, but the referee takes it away from him. Rection powerslams the Franchise and gets the pinfall. Post-match, the NBTs are pounding the stuffing out of the Insiders at ringside. Rection, steel chair in hand, drives the NBTs back. He stands over the carcass of DDP, daring the Thrillers to come get some. Nash, previously supine, gets to his feet and strolls over to the broadcast booth for a brief visit. A close-up courtesy of Mr. Cameraman shows that ol' Big Sexy didn't even break a sweat. Good, though a deliberate, slowly paced, match. Commercials. Mean Gene's backstage with the NBTs. He tells Stasiak to back off, if he knows what's good for him. O'Haire, Palumbo, Jindrak, and Reno are engaged in some "good-natured rough-housing" (That's for you MST3K fans out there) while Gene's trying to interview Mike Sanders. Okerlund glares his "I'll come over there!" -look at the roisterers, and they settle down. Sanders says that the NBTs aren't worried about the Insiders at the "Sin" PPV. "As for Ernest Miller," says Sanders, "I'm the Commissioner. I'm always gonna be the Commissioner. And Miller, at Sin I'm gonna drop a bombshell on you that you won't believe!" As the NBTs stroll off, Stasiak tries to frighten Okerlund. "I oughta knock you into the next zip code!" sneers Mr. Perfect. He leaves, and Mean Gene says he's gonna get "his guys from Jersey" to pay Stasiak a visit. And inspect his knees. Match #4: Meng (w/ Kwee-Wee & Paisley) d. Heavy D (w/ Big Ron), (Samoan Drop with two orders of Tongan Death Grip-to-go/double submission, 3:19) Looks like the Harris Boys are reprising their roles as Creative Control, Armani suits, diddy-bop shades and all. Man, Meng's 'Fro is workin' OVERTIME tonight! Anyhoo, the match begins with Heavy D and Meng walloping on each other. After about a minute of this foolishness, I turn the sound down, and flip on my TV's dual-tuner Picture in Picture. It's on some PBS nature show. David Attenborough is discussing the mating season of a seal colony somewhere up north. "The two males stalk each other, sizing up each other's strength and determination." (Meng and Heavy D break clean, and stalk each other around the ring.) "The females wait, anxious to see which male will be the winner." (Shot of some cutie-pie at ringside, who's having a good time watching big, sweaty men clobber each other.) "Weaker males avoid the contest, and hence are ignored by the females." (Nice shot of the broadcast booth, with "Hear, See, & Speak No Evil" babbling away.) "Though the combat seems fierce, such contests rarely involve serious injury..." (Meng and Heavy D go at it, with Heavy D missing on almost half of his moves, and Meng no-selling everything anyway. Good shot of a Heavy D swung fist missing by about a mile, then missing his mark and stumbling into the ropes by accident. Sheesh!) "Often, a third male will join in the contest, seeking advantage out of the confusion..." (Big Ron substitutes for his pummeled brother...) "...but the dominant male savagely mauls the interloper." (Meng, with a Samoan Drop finisher on Big Ron, gets the pinfall.) Post-match, the Harris Boys do the beat-down on Meng, which brings out Kwee-Wee and Paisley for the save. Well, things don't go as planned, and Kwee-Wee gets clobbered. Paisley nearly gets clobbered by a Harris "H-bomb" finisher, but Kwee-Wee reaches under the ropes and ankle-drags her out of the ring. Paisley appeared to hit the mat chest-first, (and you ladies know that's GOTTA hurt!) Meng comes up with a Tongan Death Grip for each Harris Boy, and the timekeeper sounds like he's playing a carillon! We get the Klown Kar o' referees again, but nobody's pulling Meng off the Harris Boys. All we need is Gordon Solie hollering "Can we get some help from the back..." ...and Knoble & Karagias charge the ring, along with the Jung Dragons, ostensibly to pull the Harris Boys free of their respective Tongan Death Grips. Meng bellows a Polynesian war cry, and smites all about him hip and thigh. Meng is left standing amidst the bodies of his slain, then heads to the back for a cold one. WCW Upcoming Events Calendar: 1/14 Indianapolis, IN (WCW "Sin" PPV) 1/23 Winston-Salem (Nitro) The show mentioned during the last hour. 1/29 Baltimore, MD (Nitro) 2/5 Tupelo, MS (Nitro) 2/12 Biloxi, MS (Nitro) Commercials. Dumb-ass Glacier promo. Norman Smiley, watching it back-stage, hopes "he got my letters! My blood's running cold just THINKING about it! Brrrr!" Gaaah! The Cat and Ms. Jones come out. The Cat looks snazzy tonight in his three-piece suit and orange shirt, while Ms. Jones would make Vargas bite his brush in two. Stevie Ray says "Suckas gots to know who the hell is that Mystery Guy?" Tenay nearly cracks up. The Cat has some choice words for Mike Sanders, saying he' S gonna eat Sanders ass alive, and get his Commissioner's job back, because the PEOPLE want the Cat as Commissioner, and not Mike Sanders. The Cat has some choice words as well for some fan (is that "Blitz"?!) at ringside. The Cat taunts the fan about his weight, and the fan disses him right back. Mike Sanders gets some more trash-talk from the Cat, which brings Sanders out on the ramp for a quick game of "diss tennis." Sanders isn't gonna wait about "dropping the bomb" on the Cat, and tells him about Ms. Jones' being hired by WCW to be the "Commissioner's Assistant." Since the Cat's not Commissioner any more, "maybe she oughta bring her Cheez-Whiz suckin' , etc. etc. across the ropes and get me some coffee?" Ms. Jones says Mr. Sanders shouldn't mess with her, and that if he does, it's HIS ass that will be getting kicked five days a week, 9 to 5. She then makes herself the prize for the Sin PPV match between these two. The Cat & Ms. Jones boogie down, as Sanders walks away. Commercials. CEO Ric Flair's on the phone. "Yeah. Go for it, Bill," says Flair. The announcers speculate as to which "Bill" it is that Ric Flair could be talking to. Match #5: Kronik v. Lex Luger & Buff Bagwell, (no contest/interference, call it 4:30). "Ol' Stumbles" is out first, and boy is he glad that WCW put in the ramp because he can't do stairs anymore. Buff Bagwell's having WAY too much fun with that entrance of his. From the looks of things, the crowd at ringside's just about dead. Then... "Here they come, the hired mercenaries," says Tony Schiavone, and out comes Kronik. We get Bryan Clarke squaring off against Buff in the ring, while Brian Adams and Luger go at it at ringside. Powerslam/leg hook combo by Clarke nearly gets the pinfall before Buff kicks out. Luger's getting hammered at ringside as well. Adams tags in, and goes to work on Bagwell. Buff hits a power surge and tags Luger in, but Luger's no better against these two titans. Full nelson by Adams, who then sets for a powerslam, but Luger mule-kicks Adams right in the in-seam. Double-team on Adams by Luger and Bagwell. Luger starts his set-up for the Torture Rack on Adams, as Bagwell and Clarke brawl at ringside... ...and out comes Bill Goldberg to beat some heads in. Goldberg sets to spear Luger, but Luger leaps to one side, and Adams gets speared. Bagwell and Luger head for the back. Clarke drags Adams out of the ring to the floor, and tells the cameraman to get the hell out of his way. Goldberg's congratulates Kronik on being out of the ring, "because that saves me a lot of trouble." As for Bagwell and Luger, "Four Days...At Sin...You're BOTH ... NEXT!" Commercials. Aw, for cryin' out loud... Somebody gave Sid Vicious a microphone. AND a stick of chewing gum, too. Well, it's like 'Open Mike Night' at the Monkey House" for the next couple of minutes. Sid is encouraged to rage and snarl his way through a promo about his upcoming match with Scott Steiner. Then he runs out of breath, at which point he does that inane "Momma sez - sometimes it be that way!" tagline of his. We see Scott Steiner and Midajah walking backstage. Steiner's not looking at Midajah's AMPLE cleavage, oh no. He's looking and KISSING his own biceps. This boy needs advice, don't you think? Commercials. Match #6: Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah & lead pipe) v. Sid Vicious (no contest/interference, match ran about 4:10 or so.) WCW World Heavyweight Title bout. Steiner dominates the opening moments of the match. A cross-corner whip on Sid, followed by aseries of chops, slaps and forearm smashes. There's a grand finale of knee lifts. Sid sells all but the last, at which point he powers Steiner through a towering back body drop. Steiner gets bitch-slapped by Sid, who then takes a page out of "Hulk Hogan's Catalog o' Snappy Wrestling Moves", and Drops the Big Leg across Steiner's throat. Steiner rolls outside, as Tenay points out that sooner or later, all these challenges that Ric Flair keeps throwing at Steiner are going to wear him down. Sid goes outside in pursuit of Steiner. He gets in oe forearm smash across Steiner's chest. Midajah wallops him across the back with the lead pipe, and Sid sells it like she just broke six of his ribs. We get some VERY good camera angles of Midajah's "Grand Canyon." Midajah's arguing with the referee, as Steiner regains the momentum, and rolls Sid back into the ring. Forearm smash, elbow drop, quick push-up series, and a pin attempt that Sid kicks out of. Steiner charges after the referee, enraged about the supposed slow count. Cross-corner whip, and Steiner slows the match down with a reverse chinlock. Sid hits a power surge, as Steiner goes up top for a double axehandle. Sid stops that in mid-air with a chokeslam attempt, but Steiner sees what's coming and kicks Sid right in the "in-seam." Steiner whips Sid into the corner, and starts kicking the stuffing out of him. Cross-ring whip by Steiner, but Sid sees the back body drop being prepared, and hammers Steiner across the back with a massive forearm smash. Huge DDT, and Steiner looks really groggy now. Three unanswered head shots by Sid rock Steiner back on his heels. A cross-ring whip, and Steiner eats the Biggest Boot of All. Clothesline sends Steiner over the top rope to the ringside floor, hitting his face on the ring apron on the way down. Steel guardrail shot by Sid. A grab for a steel chair by Sid gets a REAL, heavy -duty arena chair with padding and everything. Sid throws it away, then rolls teiner back in the ring. An attempt at a powerbomb by Sid gets countered with a Steiner jaw-jacker. Steiner's clothesline attempt gets ducked, and Sid grabs a whole lot of Steiner's thick neck for a big chokeslam. Cover, 1,2, NO! Sid sets for another chokeslam... ...and into the ring runs the Mystery Opponent. Double axehandle shot across Sid's shoulders. Steiner joins in with a couple of kicks, and it looks like a two-on-one beat down that's coming Sid's way... ...Whoops, Sid hits a power surge, and double-clotheslines the two of them. Steiner gets rolled over the top rope to the floor, whacking his chin on the way down again. Sid chokeslams the Mystery opponent, then wrenches the mask off... ...and THIS time, it's Jeff Jarrett! Up on the top of the ramp, out comes CEO Ric Flair with the REAL Mystery Opponent, who promptly charges down the ramp at the ring. He's stopped by Doug Dellinger, and a whole passel of WCW Security Guys... Closing credits. See you next week. E.C. Ostemeyer [slash] wrestling Mail the Author Comment about this article on the EZBoard |
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