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WCW Thunder by E.C. Ostermeyer




Let's see now...

Good, fairly entertaining Sin PPV.

Good effort on Nitro, with corresponding rise in the ratings.

What's tonight's Thunder going to be like, hmmmm?
How about a tip-toe through the mid-card?

This is the WCW Thunder report for Wednesday, 17 January 2001, and I'm your recapper, ol' "too-freakin'-sensitive-to-recap-wrasslin'" himself, E.C.

The following is a TBS Original Series.
For now, at least.
Big Blue WCW "Skeeter" logo.
Wonder how much longer we get to see that thing?

Let's get started with a "Pulp Fictioning" of footage from Nitro. Flair's the new heel CEO. Kevin Nash gets enthusiastic about his job again. Mike Awesome ditches the mullet. Kronik's workin' for Commissioner Cat. Bischoff's backstage, though we don't see him, and morale's never been this high in recent memory.

Opening credits.
Live on tape 13 Jan. 2001) from the Allen County War Memorial Coliseum in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Tony Schiavone.

Let me pause for a moment to make a special request of Mr. Eric Bischoff. WCW's currently undergoing a remodel job on your watch. Since the announce team is the most visible part of WCW, may I respectfully request that you pay whatever it takes to hire Joey Styles and Joel Gertner away from ECW? If you want instant respect in the broadcast booth, that's your best move. Imagine the possibilities, sir. As for you Tony and Mike, step aside and watch some real professionals at work

Out comes Your Commissioner, with Ms. Jones in tow. Since this is TBS, the Superstation, Ms. Jones is wearing a more PG-rated outfit that she did on Nitro. Still looks hot, though.
The Cat's got something for everybody tonight. As Commissioner, he's gonna clean the place up. Goldberg's down, but not for long (I thought "retired" meant "gone for good?"). Though he is the Commissioner, he's also a fightin' Commissioner, and if Totally Buff think they're gonna get off scot-free, the Cat's gonna kick both their asses. This brings out Totally Buff. Lex Luger shows that he's still able to take a few steps without the use of his walker. Buff Bagwell's wearing a "Gilligan" hat to hide his rapidly receding hairline. Bagwell muffs a couple of lines, so what else is new, and the Commissioner dares them to bring it on. They do, and promptly get squashed by the Commissioner's new buds, Kronik. Luger shows that he CAN run unaided when in fear of his life. The Cat decrees that Totally Buff gets their asses "Kronik-ed" later tonight. "I Have Spoken!"


Back from the break, and here's Kwee-Wee with Paisley (wowza!). Whoops, it's not Kwee-Wee, it's his alter ego, Angry Allan, who's tired of being taken for granted, and not asked to join Ric Flair's empire of evil. Open challenge to the back: ANYBODY back there can come out, and Angry Allan will prove he's a much a man as the rest of them.

And out comes Ric Steiner.

Match #1: Ric Steiner d. Kwee-Wee (w/Paisley), (top-rope bulldog, 3:20)

Man, talk about a total squash. Rick Steiner just runs roughshod over Kwee-Wee, alternating grunts and barks with cogent comments to Kwee-Wee as regards making career moves a this time. Huge clothesline by Steiner just levels Kwee-Wee in the middle going. Taunts from Rick re-awaken Angry Allan, who rakes the eyes of the Dog-faced Gremlin. It's a case of too-little too-late, though. Steiner recovers and nails Kwee-Wee with a belly-to-belly suplex, then swats and pummels him around the ring. Kwee-Wee again hits a power surge, but Steiner keeps the momentum going, finishes with a devastating top-rope bulldog, getting the pinfall.
Post-match, Rick gets to say a few words to the unconscious Kwee-Wee
"I guess your OVER!" (turns back to the crowd) "Flair! Two things. You want some... (crowd :"COME GET SOME!") "You don't like me..." (crowd: "BITE ME!")
Schiavone calls Steiner a man's man, and the way he says it sounds REALLY DISTURBING!


Match #2: Meng d. Bam Bam Bigelow, (Giant Splash/pin, 4:22) WCW Hardcore Title defense.

Tony reminds us all that Nitro will be on Tuesday, 23 January, instead of Monday, because TNT's showing "Pretender 2001" to try to get an early jump on the March Sweeps. Well, he didn't actually say the last bit, but, c'mon, anybody could figure that out!

Good to see WCW using the Beast from the East again, and Meng's obviously having fun with his Title reign. That 'Fro's beginning to look like a quickset hedge.

Footage from Sin & Nitro shows Meng winning the Hardcore Title, beating Terry Funk and Crowbar to do it.
We get started with Bigelow walloping Meng as he climbs through the ropes. Bigelow rolls Meng off the ring apron, then follows.
Bigelow socks Meng right in the head, then wrings his hand, selling the fact that Meng's got a hard head. Meng recovers, removes his coat and hardcore Title belt, then wallops Bigelow all over ringside. Tenay, writing a "note to self", says that nobody should ever punch Meng in the head. We've got a real brawl going on outside the ring. Bigelow bounces Meng's head off the steel guardrail. Gut-shot by Bigelow with the Hardcore Title belt. Steel chair in Meng's gut, then WHACK, Meng gets a chair-shot on the head by Bigelow. Meng staggers, shakes it off, then no-sells it big-time. Meg blocks the next one, takes the chair away from Bigelow, then wallops him with it across the back. A couple more chair-shots on Bigelow, who's selling every one. Bigelow recovers, and gouges at Meng's eyes. Then because this is a Hardcore Title match, we get the obligatory "powerslam on the broadcast booth." Tony bails out over the railing, only to get tossed back in by some fans. Tenay's losing it as Bigelow and Meng thrash each other. Chairshot to the head by Bigelow doesn't even faze Meng. Tony and Mike recover the faculty of speech. "This is what you call being 'in the fray,'" says Tony. Whip into the ringsteps by Bigelow gets reversed, and Bam Bam crashes into them. Meng dominates for the next minute or so, but Bigelow recovered, and started working on Meng's knees, using the steel ringsteps as a weapon. Bigelow "Makes a Wish", and stomps on Meng's in-seam real hard.
Crowd starts up a "Gold-berg" chant, but that ain't happenin' this soon after the PPV.
Bigelow rolls Meng into the ring, then drags his legs around the ringpost, an slams Meng's left leg against the same ringpost. Another ringpost shot, and Meng's running on ne wheel now. Bigelow moves to take advantage of this We get s kick to the knee by Bigelow, answered by a chop to the throat from Meng. This goes on for a bit, until Bigelow clips Meng behind the injured left knee again, and down he goes.
Bigelow goes for the ankle lock submission, which Meng sells like Bigelow's ripping his foot off. Meng's got his fingers hooked in Bigelow's eye sockets, which must hurt a LOT, and Bigelow releases the hold. As Meng hobbles to his feet, Bigelow nails a DDT (that almost hits the steel chair). As Bigelow strides around the ring, basking in heel heat from these Hoosiers, Meng recovers, gets to his feet, and goes for the Tongan Death Grip. Bigelow sees it coming, and blocks the Right Hand o' Doom. That's okay, Meng's got a left hand that will serve just as well, thank you. Bigelow struggles, but Meng powerslams him out of the Tongan Death Grip, then finishes him off with a Giant Splash, getting the win. Oops, Meng landed wrong, and appears to be hurt as the referee returns his Hardcore Title belt to him. Slowly, he's helped to his feet, fist raised in victory. Meng tosses back the 'Fro and bellows his warcry.

Replay shows the end of the match.


And now, wrestling fans, a half-hour's worth of backstage promos and other assorted nonsense to help move the current story arcs along.

First, we get a Glacier promo. Again.
The only person in the whole world who's excited about this is Norman Smiley, who gets a note from Glacier and an autographed 8x10. Be not afraid, Glacier will protect, or words to that effect. Smiley is ecstatic, and feels invincible. One gets the feeling he's heading for a fall, and that right soon.

Next, still backstage, Team Canada arrives, (Arrives? From where?) dragging all of Major Gunns' luggage along with them. (Luggage?) Mike Awesome's p.o.-ed about his new haircut. Major Gunns loves it, and it does look rather stylish. That mullet of his SUCKED big-time! Awesome's still agitated that the Animals did it to him rather than him doing it to himself. "I'm gonna beat the HECK out of 'em," he bellows.

Over to Hugh "Gen'l. Rection" Morrus, who's whipping the MIA's up to go bash Chavo Guerrero Jr. The MIA's don't appear to be too enthused at the prospect.

Scott Hudson, masquerading as Mean Gene Okerlund (well, he's got the dome for it. And he's not wearing a coat and tie, either! One radical dude, hah?) has the Harris Boys backstage. This ought to be a real treat. Heavy D (wearing a cervical collar) says that, because of injuries received at the hands of Meng on last week's Thunder, he is under a doctor's care, and may NEVER WRESTLE AGAIN! "The guy's crazy, he's totally out of control!" whines Heavy D. "The doctors told me I could never wrestle again. The slightest thing...SNAP! My head could fall right off my shoulders. "
(Show of hands who wants to see that happen right NOW?!")
Ron Harris is ready to shoulder the burden, and go it alone in singles competition. He challenges anybody in the back to come out and face him, one-on-one, and we can see what's coming a mile away, can't we?
Up struts Norman Smiley to accept the challenge. "I'm gonna kick your tushie on national television," says the way-to-confident Smiley. Big Ron's giving him a Look over that "tushie" remark. "Let's get it on in three minutes," says Ron warily.
"Three minutes is fine with me," says Smiley.
"We'll be done with ya," says Heavy D, grinning evilly, "in four!"


Out back of the Coliseum, we see a white limo pull up. Out comes a three-piece sampler of eye candy, Ric Flair (Dark Side CEO), WCW World Heavyweight Champ Rick Steiner, and Midajah. Road Warrior Animal is there to greet them. Flair tells Steiner and Midajah they've got the night off. "No work, all play, tonight" says ol' Naitch.
"What a crew," says Schiavone, who then shills for the latest Jeff Jarrett T-shirt over at wcwgeardotcom.
Norman Smiley makes his entrance. He's looking around and calling for Glacier to appear. He's checking the rafters, the ThunderTron, the fans at ringside, everywhere.
Tony shills for the TBS Superstation Enhanced Viewing thingie, as the Harris Boys make their way to the ring.

Match #3: Ron Harris (w/ Don Harris) d. Norman Smiley, (Don Harris w/side suplex/pin, 3:55)

I smell a switcheroo coming with these two heels, don't you?
Smiley gets the opening offensive momentum going, with a well-crafted armbar. And doggoned if Schiavone doesn't call it an "armdrag takedown." Ron reverses the move, but Smiley escapes, and hammers home two swift kicks to regain the momentum. Armbar again, which Smiley converts to a wristlock that drives Ron to his knees. Ron attempts an escape, but Smiley applies the armbar again, and Ron's going nowhere. Power surge by Ron, and Smiley gets backed into a corner. Two knee lifts from Ron and he escapes Smiley's hold. Cross-corner whip by Ron, but Smiley ducks the charge-in and back body drops Ron to the floor. Lots of angry pacing and gesturing from Ron at ringside, along with a short strategy session with brother Don. Back in the ring, Ron opens with a forearm smash, and follows to it with a side slam. Cover, 1,2, Smiley kicks out. Cross-ring whip by ron, but he hangs on and snaps off a vicious short clothesline. Cover ,1,2, Smiley gets a boot across the ropes. Snap suplex by Ron, and Smiley's hurting.
Cross-ring whip by Ron, but Smiley submarines, and attempts a Sunset Flip. Ron regains his balance, and schoolboys for a count of 2 before Smiley kicks out.
Ron tosses Smiley through the ropes, and Smiley hits knee-first on the mats at ringside. Whip by Ron sends Smiley crashing into the steel guardrail. Ron climbs back into the ring, and Smiley does the same. Ron tries a cross-ring whip, but Smiley counters with a running elbow smash an and a quick clothesline. Body slam, and Smiley does the Wiggle. Smiley puts in the boot with a big dropkick Ron rolls out of the ring, and...
Yep, it's the old switcheroo, as Don swaps the neckbrace, and climbs into the ring. Don with a vicious side suplex, and a cover, 1,2,3!
Post-match, Smiley's wondering what the heck happened, and more importantly, where the promised protection from Glacier was.


Schiavone reminds us that next Monday's Nitro from Winston-Salem, NC will be shown on Tuesday. No more screw-ups like the last time.

Match #4: Totally Buff d. Kronik (interference, Bagwell pins Clarke, 4:55)

Luger and Bagwell make their way to the ring, as Schiavone again reminds us that Nitro will be on Tuesday, etc. etc. Luger is walking pretty good; must have taken his bee hormone extract tonight. Buff's got the cool red top hat with his face painted on the lid. Any bets as to when we'll see it on Ebay?
Totally Buff start in on the pose-down nonsense.
Out comes Kronik, who promptly chase Luger and Bagwell out of the ring. Luger's mincing around over by the broadcast booth, and Tenay's getting uncomfortable, if you know what I mean. More posing by Buff, as Luger massages Schiavone's shoulders, which looks REALLY disturbing. More gassing between these two, as Kronik waits patiently in the ring. Bryan Adams is reading a newspaper, while Brian Clarke's getting in a quick game of "jacks."
We finally get started with Adams squaring off against Luger. Power move by Adams shoving Luger into the corner. Luger powers out, and delivers a big knee to the gut. Cross-ring whip by Luger, but Adams ducks the clothesline, countering with a high vertical lift. Looks like a suplex is in the offing, but Adams fools us and smashes Luger to the mat with a vicious chestbuster. Piledriver by Adams and a cover, 1,2, Buff makes the save. Tag to Clarke, who's nearly growling at the thought of what's to come. After batting Luger around for a bit, there's a cross-corner whip by Clarke. Luger sees Awful Danger on the way, and gets a boot up to stop Clarke. Luger tags in Bagwell, who's less than pleased about facing Clarke, especially after Luger's got him riled up. Bagwell gets powerslammed in a corner, and Kronik double-teams the stuffing out of him. Buff escapes, tries a double-team with Luger on Adams but Adams ain't havin' any today. More double-teaming, this time with Bagwell coming out ahead. He applies the reverse chinlock, and everybody, (Luger especially, who's puffing like a steam engine,) gets a nice rest.
Tag by Bagwell to Luger, who starts in on Adams with several elbows and forearm smashes. Cross-ring whip by Luger, but we get a double clothesline, and both men go down. Now comes the race to see who tags first. Looks like Adams tags first, but Luger tags in Bagwell. Clarke leaps after Bagwell, and nails him with a flying shoulder block...
And out comes Jeff Jarrett. One "El-Kabong" later, and Buff's rolling up Clarke while Luger takes care of Adams outside the ring. 1,2, 3, and Buff pins Clarke.
Post-match, it's Diamond Dallas Page to the rescue, and the heels make fo rthe back at top speed.
This brings out Dark Side CEO Ric Flair who announces that, because of the "interference", DDP's gonna face Jarrett in tonight's Main Event.
DDP's got no problem, but Jarrett's less than pleased.


Next out is Team Canada, here to exact vengeance from the Filthy Animals for the demise of Mike Awesome's mullet.

Lance Storm gets serious for a moment, (does this guy EVER smile?) and we get about three bars and a convenience store into "O Canada" before the Filthy Animals arrive to start the festivities.

Match #5: Mike Awesome (w/ Team Canada but no mullet no more) d. Billy Kidman (w/ Filthy Animals and ribs taped to the max.), (Running Awesome Bomb/pin, 7:20)

Awesome's got this one under control from the get-go, as he concentrates on pounding Kidman's taped up ribs. Schiavone explains, with accompanying footage, just how Kidman got this way on Nitro. Kidman's on power surge, hurancanrana, followed by a hotshot off the ring-ropes, and Awesome falls heavily onto the floor at ringside. Kidman hits a running Shooting Star Press off the ring apron. That's still the scariest move in wrestling! The FA's are hollering at Kidman to get up, but Billy's having trouble with his ribs again.
After a bit, he rolls Awesome back in the ring, hooks the far leg, 1, Awesome kicks out with authority. Awesome then pounds on Kidman's ribs some more, before hot-shotting him chest-first across the top rope. Kidman bounces three times, and then tumbles off, hollering. Awesome starts in with the Big Boot to the ribs, just stomping a mudhole in Kidman. Cross-ring whip, big Gorilla Press, and a Flapjack on Kidman. Ouch! Cover by Awesome, 1,2, Kidman kicks out. Elbow drop by Awesome, and a cover, 1,2, Kidman kicks out again. Awesome tosses Kidman through the ropes, and the rest of Team Canada get in their licks. Lance Storm whips Kidman into the steel guardrail before the FA's arrive and run him off. Awesome's outside as well, and Kidman gets bounced off every available. Steel chair-shot and Kidman's getting all squooshy, as Awesome rolls him back into the ring. Awesome with a vault over the ropes and a lateral press with authority, cover, 1,2, Kidman gets a foot on the ropes. Powerbomb by Awesome. He drags Kidman into position, then goes up top... Awesome Splash on the way...but Kidman sees it coming, rolls away, and Awesome eats a whole lot of canvas. Cover by Kidman, 1,2, Awesome powers out again. Kidman tries a springboard cross-body block, but Awesome catches him in mid-air. Awesome with a front waist lock as Kidman rains punches on his noggin. Awesome's going for the Awesome Bomb, but Kidman wriggles free and tries a schoolboy (!) on Awesome, 1,2, Awesome kicks out again. Kidman tries a running lariat but Awesome scoops him up and drops him face-first on the top turnbuckle. Awesome then hits another Awesome Splash, goes for the cover, but only gets a 2 count. Awesome sets Kidman up for the Awesome Bomb, but Kidman wriggles free, boots Awesome in the gut, and then NAILS him with an Acid Drop that would make Lil' Spike Dudley green with envy. Cover by Kidman, 1,2, and a half, no! Cross-ring whip by Kidman gets reversed. Awesome charges in, but Kidman does the float-over, Awesome rounds and boots Kidman in the gut, doubling him over. Here's another Awesome Bomb attempt, but Kidman rolls through it and hits a facebuster on the way down. Kidman's going up top, Tenay's getting hoarse from excitement, the crowd's on it's feet...
But Kidman takes too long getting his balance on the top turnbuckle. Awesome hits a power surge, punches Kidman off the top turnbuckle, and hangs him out to dry on the Tree of Woe for a bit. Awesome then gathers him in, sets, and finally nails Kidman with his running Awesome Bomb finisher for the pinfall.
Post-match, Team Canada's got the shears ready, but Awesome's a little too slow in getting the scissors on Kidman's scalp, and the FA's leap in to save Kidman's locks. The FA's waylay Major Gunns with the shears, almost giving her the mother of all bad hair days. Fortunately, Gunns is saved by Prime Time Elix Skipper. Team Canada leaves victorious, but Kidman's on his feet as well, as we go to

(Best Match of the Show, by the way.)

Backstage, Hudson's trying to control a visibly agitated Chavo, who wants to prove to Gen'l. Rection once and for all that Chavo's way is the right way. "If you would have listened to me at Sin, you would have walked away with the belt! This..." (points to the belt)"...gets you this!" (does the cash sign.)

Video footage shows the demise of Goldberg's career, like we need another reminder. "Pulp Fiction" time again, as we get a full recap of Monday's Nitro to reinforce tonight's story arcs.


Match #6: Chavo Guerrero Jr. d. Hugh "Gen'l. Rection" Morrus, (interference/pin, 5:34).

Schiavone reminds us for the umpteenth time that next Monday's Nitro is really on Tuesday, and that the show's not going bye-bye, they're just being pre-empted. Honest!

Morrus tosses the MIA T-shirt away up on the ramp, and charges the ring. Chavo bails out, as a very INTENSE Hugh Morrus bellows for him to "come on, bigmouth! Come on and get some!" After much finger pointing and gesturing, Chavo does just that. Chavo tries a waistlock, but gets a big Morrus elbow right in the ear. Chavo tries to escape, but referee Mickey Jay's in the way, and Morrus almost squashes him then and there.
We get a footrace around the ring, as Chavo's running for his life. Back in the ring he goes, with Morrus hot on his tail. Chavo ties a gut-kick, but Morrus catches his foot, holds it there for a couple of minutes, looking to the crowd's response as to what he should do. The crowd's reaction almost pushes the shows rating to a TV-MA, before he spins Chavo around and hammers him with a massive clothesline. Cross-ring whip by Morrus, and Chavo gets hammered again. Here's another cross-ring whip, into a gorilla press slam attempt, but Chavo slides down and tries for a Sunset Flip. Morrus is about as immovable as the Town Hall, and he reaches down, gets both hands around Chavo's neck, and lifts him off the canvas, and then off his FEET, by his neck! Morrus suspends him in mid-air for about 'ever', then power-shoves him about halfway across the ring. Morrus stomps on Chavo for a bit, hollering at him to "GET UP!" Blatant choke-hold by Morrus, which the ref. puts a stop to. Morrus grapevines Chavo's legs with his ARMS, and in a big power move, lifts Chavo straight up of the mat, sets him on the top turnbuckle, and starts hammering at him with three Big Right Hands. Morrus walks away for a bit, taking a breahter, ten charges back in fo rthe kill... and gets a Chavo boot in the face. Chavo tries a cross-body block off the top turnbuckle, but Morrus catches him in mid-air. Morrus sets for a powerbomb, but Chavo rolls through it, and uses Morrus' momentum to counter with a brainbuster. Cover by Chavo, 1,2, Morrus kicks out. Schiavone tells us that Hugh Morrus has a history of concussions, so he may be in some real peril here.
Chavo dumps Morrus in the corner and starts grinding his boot into Morrus' face. Morrus powers out of the corner and tries to mount an offense, but Chavo starts working on Morrus' left knee, and down he goes again. Chavo continues to work the knee real good, and Morrus is just selling the heck out of it. Morrus manages to drag himself to the ropes, and get to his feet, but Chavo's there to sweep his feet out from under him, and down he goes again. Cover by Chavo, 1,2, Morrus gets a shoulder up. Chavo drags Morrus to his feet and starts chopping away at him. Morrus responds with a massive open-hand slap that rocks Chavo back about six feet. Chavo retreats to a corner, but Morrus pursues, and lands another powerful slap. Chavo sells like his collarbone's been yanked out. Another huge slap, and Chavo counters with a desperation grab at Morrus' tights, and drops him face-first into the turnbuckle. Chavo's back in control, and goes back to work on the knee again. Chavo tries for a Figure Four leglock, but Morrus sees it coming and shoves Chavo off with his other leg, hard enough to send Chavo over the top rope to the floor at ringside.
Morrus goes outside the ring, limping noticeably, and starts walloping Chavo all around the ringside area. There's a whip into the steel turnbuckles. Morrus pummels Chavo and then tosses him back in the ring. Boot to the solar plexus by Morrus doubles Chavo over. Morrus sets, and hits a massive sit-out powerbomb. Morrus goes up top for his trademark "No Laughing Matter" moonsault...
...and out comes Sgt. A-Wall, ostensibly to give Morrus a hand.
Oops, A-Wall chokeslams Morrus off the top turnbuckle and back in to the ring.
Chavo gets the pinfall. Tenay can't believe the swerve, and is nearly hoarse with outrage. "I never saw that one coming!" Cpl. Cajun arrives to protect Morrus, as A-Wall and Chavo head for the back, with A-Wall bellowing "Unity!"


Backstage, Scott Hudson's got chavo and A-Wall. Lots of blather about "doing" instead of "preachin'" from A-Wall, who's got Chavo's back from here on in, it appears. "You want PROOF?" bellows A-Wall, "TRY ME! TRY US!! C'mon, Chavo..."
As Jeff Jarrett comes out, Tony frets over how much more treachery can Hugh Morrus take?

Footage from Sin shows Jarrett's role in the Fatal Four-Way for the World Title. Back to the ring where Jarrett is dissing the "Hoosier-nuts" in general, and DDP in particular, telling DDP to "...get down here so we can chalk up another one for the Chosen One. Now choke on that, ya stringbean slapnut!"
Backstage shot of DDP walking.
"Here comes Dallas Page," squeals Tony, "walking...into the LION'S DEN!"



Match #7 (Main Event): Diamond Dallas Page v. Jeff Jarrett, (No Contest due to outside interference, call it 4:30)

DDP makes his entrance as Mr. Cameraman finds a REAL cutie-pie on the rail. DDP decides to take the LONG way around, through most of the crowd in the coliseum, slapping hands as he goes. DDP climbs into the ring, and Jarrett bails out. "Jarrett!" hollers DDP. "Chosen One! You think you're all that? Why don't you come in here and prove it?! SLAPNUTS!!"
Well, Jarrett ain't havin' any o' that, and the fight's on with a vengeance.
DDP gives a boxing lesson, with Jarrett's head as the speed-bag. Stiff clothesline takes both Jarrett and DDP out of the ring. DDP lands on his feet. Jarrett lands on his back.
DDP's taunting and trash-talking Jarrett as he rolls him back in the ring. As DDP climbs in, Jarrett starts pummeling him with lefts and rights, then stomps him flat into the corner. Jarrett cusses out the referee, then goes to the middle of the ring for some heel heat.
Whoops, DDP's recovered, grabs Jarrett by the FACE and shoves him into the corner. Boxing lesson time again, and Jarrett's selling each blow like his head's coming right off on the next one. Cross-ring whip by DDP, but Jarrett reverses, and sets for the back body drop. DDP sets and hits a sit-out powerbomb. Cover 1,2, Jarrett kicks out.
As Jarrett drags himself to his feet, DDP makes a grab for him, and Jarrett mule-kicks DDP right in the in-seam HARD. DDP goes down, clutching himself. As both men slowly get to their feet Jarrett tries a top-turnbuckle cross-body block, but DDP rolls him through it, and into a side cradle for near pin. Kick attempt by Jarrett gets caught, but he follows it with an enziguiri to DDP's noggin, and down go both men. Referee Billy Silverman does the 10 count. Jarrett got to his feet after four, and started kicking DDP. Cross-ring whip by Jarrett, and he hits DDP on the rebound with a big elbow. More jawing with the crowd, then Jarrett drapes DDp across the middle ropes for the obligatory heel choke-hold, which Silverman breaks up. Jarrett then does a cross-ring run, and leaps on DDP's back, bouncing him off the ropes. Cross-ring whip by Jarrett, who sets for the back body drop. DDP rolls through it and into a Sunset Flip attempt, which Jarrett blocks with a swung fist to DDP's face. Schoolboy press by jarrett only gets a 2 count, as DDP kicks out, rolling Jarrett into a small package, and getting a 2 count of his own. Jarrett escapes with a well-placed boot-heel to DDP's nose.
Jarrett nails DDP with a clothesline. Cover, by Jarrett, 1,2, no!
DDP hits a power surge, and lands a few solid punches, followed by a cross-corner whip. His charge-in gets a Jarrett elbow right in the face, however, and down he goes again. Jarrett's the TALKIN'-est wrestler I've ever seen, because he's jawing with the fans again. cross-ring whip by Jarrett. DDP ducks the elbow, but Jarrett catches him on the rebound, and locks on a sleeper hold. DDP fights it, all the way down to the mat. Referee Silverman does the usual "Checking for Signs of Life" once...twice... thr...DDP gets an arm up! He's coming back! There's an elbow to Jarrett's gut! And another another, and another, and DDP escapes. Cross-ring whip by DDP, and he catches Jarrett in a sleeper! Jarrett drops to his knees immediately, jaw-jacking DDP, but the concussion knocks both men out. Referee Billy Silverman starts the Ten Count again. DDP rolls over and makes a cover on Jarrett, 1,2, Jarrett gets a shoulder up! Both men on their feet, and sluggin' it out in the middle of the ring. DDP blocks a Jarrett clothesline attempt, and hammers him to the mat with a powerslam. Cover by DDP, 1,2, Jarrett gets an arm up! DDP goes up top, and as Jarrett groggily staggers to his feet, DDP nails him with a flying clothesline.
Diamond Cutter time, but Jarrett sees it coming, and shoves DDP into the far ropes. DDP misses with two short clothesline attempts, but connects with the third, and Jarrett goes down.
Out comes The New Flair Order to save Jarrett's bacon. Referee Billy Silverman throws the match out, as DDP tries to fight all the bad guys off, but to no avail. Steiner & Co. all take turns stomping on DDP, which brings The Good Guys (Nash, Rick Steiner & Kronik) to the ring to save HIS bacon. We've got a huge Pier Sixer in progress that would rate a "Signal 997" (Riot in Progress) from my local police. The freakin' RING is rocking from the force of the blows! Mr. Timekeeper is banging the heck out of the ring bell, Billy Silverman has bailed out and headed for parts unknown, Tenay and Schiavone are shrieking at frequency levels only dogs can hear, the crowd's going nuts...

Closing credits.
Good show, with good development of the story arcs. The Morrus/Chavo match ties with the Kidman/Awesome match for top honors this week. Trash match was the Rick Steiner/Kwee-Wee nonsense. It looked thrown together.

See you next week.

E.C. Ostemeyer
[slash] wrestling

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