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WCW Thunder by E.C. Ostermeyer




This is the WCW Thunder report for Wednesday, 7 February 2001, and I'm your recapper, E.C. Ostermeyer.

The show opens with a montage of last Monday's story arcs.

No opening credits.
Guess WCW figured it's gonna take more than a week to re-work 'em after all the recent firings

Decent pyro show again.

"If you want wrestling action, then folks, you've come to the right place," screeches Tony Schiavone.

We are still live on tape from Tupelo, MS, and it looks like most of the fans have decided to stick around.

Mike Tenay takes over for Nitro's Scott Hudson, as ol' "No-friends-no-regrets," Tony Schiavone pulls another two-hour shift.

We get right to the action:

Match #1: Kaz Hayashi d. Shane Helms, (German suplex/pin, 7:12) Qualifying bout, Superbrawl Cruiserweight tourney.

Another hot opener between these two professionals. Helms and Hayashi open with a chain wrestling clinic, Helms getting the first offense with a fireman's carry slam. Kaz responds with a series of buzzsaw kicks. Helms recovers and lofts Hayashi over the top rope and down to the floor at ringside. Hayashi goes outside, positions Helms on the apron and hits a vicious-looking guillotine legdrop off the ring apron. Ouch! Helms recovers as Hayashi rolls him back into the ring for a pin attempt. Helms blocks the pin and does a snap-mare (that Schiavone terms an "arm drag take-down"). Hurancanrana by Hayashi spikes Helms out of the ring again. "Frog-style" cross body block by Helms flattens Hayashi on the ramp, and Helms tosses him back into the ring. Cross-ring whip by Hayashi gets reversed, and Kaz eats a Big Boot. Helms sets up his "Nightmare on Helms Street" finisher, but Hayashi blocks it. Helms follows up with a "Vertebreaker" attempt, but Kaz wriggles free. At this point Cruiserweight Champ Chavo Guerrero, Jr. comes to ringside, distracting Helms just as he nails Hayashi with the "Sugar Smack." Kaz, recovering sees his opportunity, hammers Helms with another buzzsaw kick, hits a devastating German suplex on Helms, and gets the win with a bridge pin.
Superb match. WCW could do a whole hour with their Cruiserweight stable and it would be just fine by me.


Norman Smiley's supposedly talking with an off-camera Glacier, asking him to come out earlier in Smiley's match this evening, so that Norman could win for once. As Smiley leaves, Chuck Palumbo and Sean O'Haire pay a visit to Glacier's dressing room. An off-camera fracas ensues. Moments later, Palumbo and O'Haire are seen leaving Glacier's dressing room. Palumbo's rubbing his knuckles and grinning. "Hey, that was easy!" says Sean O'Haire. Y'know, this angle is beginning to grow on me.

Ric Flair is on the stick! He strolls down the ramp, the rest of Team Flair behind him, and informs one and all that he has named his boys "The Magnificent Seven." Boos galore, as Flair distributes kudos to the Steiner brothers, Scott as World Champ, and Rick as US Champ. We get to endure a Scott Steiner gloat-fest, wherein he describes the Steiners as the best tag team of all time. Scott then runs the list of injured wrestlers that have fallen foul of his greatness, then demands a standing ovation for brother Rick, who turned on Nash to save Scott's Title, and Ric Flair's job as CEO.
Aw, jeez, they then give the microphone to Rick Steiner, "...get some...bite me!" yadda yadda.


Wolfpac music fires up and out comes Kevin Nash.
But not on the ramp. Instead, Nash, Diamond Dallas Page, The Cat, and Kronik all appear in the Tupelo crowd. Jeez, Adams and Clarke just TOWER over the fans! After a Nash demand for a tag match with the Steiners gets nixed, DDP says, okay, how about Jeff Jarrett and Rick Steiner then? Flair agrees, a little too quickly, thinks I. Brian Adams gets Lex Luger in a match tonight, and the Cat will face an opponent of Lance Storm's choosing.


Scott Steiner's getting all worked up, so Flair explains, again, why he's to take it easy 'til Superbrawl, and let the others take the strain for a bit. Steiner's the flagship, and will get Flair's protection.

Match #2: Sean O'Haire d. Norman Smiley, ("Sean-ton Bomb" finisher/pin, 3:05)

Smiley really works a good match out of what should be a total squash at the hands of the hulking Mr. O'Haire. Smiley reverses O'Haire into a wristlock, (which Schiavone again terms an arm-drag take-down,) that gradually forces O'Haire to his knees. Smiley avoids an O'Haire clothesline attempt, and does an armbar into drop toehold that puts O'Haire on the mat. Pin attempt gets powered out by O'Haire, who counters with a barrage of punches that drive Smiley back into the corner. Cross-corner whip by O'Haire, and Smiley tries an enziguiri. O'Haire ducks and hammers Smiley to the mat with a Big Right Hand. Smiley hits a power surge, does the wristlock again, but O'Haire powers out, whips Smiley into the ropes, and knees him right in the breadbasket. A cross-corner whip by O'Haire, but Smiley avoids with a float-over, and follows up with, unbelievably, a scoopslam on O'Haire, and a cover, 1,2, O'Haire powers out with authority. Smiley, in the meantime, is checking the arena for the whereabouts of Glacier, who's been waffled back in his dressing room earlier. Smiley's inattention proves costly, as O'Haire counters with a HUGE snap clothesline. Towering Sean-ton Bomb, and that's all for Norman Smiley. Post-match, as O'Haire mugs for the fans at ringside, Mark Jindrak confronts him while Shawn Stasiak sneaks through the crowd and waffles him from behind. A double-team beat-down on O'Haire ensues until Chuck Palumbo arrives to chase the ingrates away.

Comment made during tonight's booking session:
Hey, you got Smiley/Glacier angle on my Natural Born Thrillers' feud angle!"
"Well, YOU got Natural Born Thrillers' feud angle on my Smiley/Glacier angle!"

I'm thinkin' that the WCW bookers are getting their ideas from TV commercials now.


Backstage, Flair and Road Warrior Animal share a happy moment. Mike "Gopher" Sanders, in his role as Flair's protégé, walks up carrying a suit that Flair had altered. Flair jovially apologizes for Sanders getting picked on Monday Night. By way of making it up to him, Flair books Sanders into a match with Konnan, to continue his training as Flair's heir-apparent. Another test, you see. Sanders is not at all enthused about the prospect, especially since he sic-ed Reno on Konnan on last week's Thunder.

Meanwhile in the ring, the Cat and Ms. Jones get serious with Lance Storm, who's decided that the Cat will face, not Mike Awesome as you would think, but Prime-Time Elix Skipper.

Match #3: The Cat (w/ Ms. Jones) d. Prime-Time Elix Skipper, ("Feliner" finisher/pin, 7:09)

Dynamite match between these two. Cat's karate kicks are right on the mark, and Skipper ends up in a corner. Skipper got pummeled some more, but countered with a crotch shot and a flurry of kicks. Skipper got control with some more punches and kicks, then tossed the Cat out of the ring and followed after him. Whoops, bad choice, as the Cat pulled an ECW-style "beer-break" on Skipper, temporarily blinding him. The Cat took control once more, and Skipper got introduced to the steel guardrails at ringside before being tossed back in the ring. Cat was sloppy on his ring entry, and Skipper walloped him as he crawls through the ropes. Two more shots to the head, and Skipper hooks a reverse chinlock on the Cat to slow things down for a bit. Skipper decided to use the ropes for leverage, and was almost standing on his head before the Cat hits a power surge, and breaks the hold. Skipper put a Big Boot into the Cat's breadbasket and followed it up with a belly-to-belly suplex. Skipper goes up top, and hit a guillotine legdrop off the top turnbuckle. Cover, lateral press, 1, 2, Cat gets a shoulder up! Skipper hits a clipshot on the Cat's left leg, and then targets the left knee. Cross-corner whip by Skipper, but the Cat back body drops Skipper ver the top rope. Skipper lands on the ring apron, then vaults back over into a Sunset Flip attempt. The Cat teeters, and totters, then does the DX crotch chop, snakes an arm and POW! Skipper gets one right in the face! "Feliner" attempted, but Skipper ducks it with the "Matrix" bridge and tries to set up his "Overdrive" finisher. Boot to the gut, but Skipper rolled through it, the Cat reversed it, hit a spinning heel kick that knocked ME out, then finished Skipper off with the "Feliner", getting the win.
Post-match, out comes Lance Storm to ask if the Cat's ready for another match tonight, if he's ready to take it to another level? The Cat agrees, but doesn't see Mike Awesome sneaking into the ring behind him, or the vicious running lariat that sends him crashing to the mat. Awesome puts the boot in, then goes up top and hits his Awesome Splash, completing the post-match squash.
"See you at Superbrawl, Cat," says a satisfied Lance Storm

Hey, we got three decent matches in a row, here.


Mean Gene Okerlund works tonight!
That's the good news.
His first interview is with Totally Buffed.
That's the bad news.

Upshot of this foolishness is that Kronik's Brian Adams didn't beat Bagwell on Nitro, and he sure won't beat Luger tonight.
There, I've just eliminated all the extra self-serving blather these two ornaments of the ring generate.

You can thank me later.

Backstage, the Wall is doing some forearm curls. Chavo Guerrero, Jr. drops by to tell him to take out that horned punk-ass Rey Mysterio, Jr. "He doesn't deserve a shot at my Title belt," sneers Chavo. The Wall drops his dumb-bells, and stalks off. We hear...Hugh Morrus? ... cackling off-camera.

Also backstage, Kwee-Wee gets ticked off at some ex-Power Planters, and after a brief "mad" fit, chooses the smallest one for his match tonight.
His opponent (Power Plant grad Johnny Dotson) about to pop a cap on the Kwee-Wee, but his buds hold him back.

Man, I miss Paisley BIG-TIME!
I bet Allan Funk does, too.


We come back to Ric Flair trying to keep Scott Steiner under control, and not get involved with tonight's fun and games. Lex Luger strolls by with a big grin on his face, and Flair wishes him luck in his match with Brian Adams.

As Lex Luger ambles to the ring, we get footage from Monday Nitro showing Bryan Clarke saving his partner Brian Adams from a double-teaming by Totally Buffed.

Match #4: Brian Adams d. Lex Luger, (Full Nelson Bomb/pin, 6:25)

As Brian Adams makes his entry, we get more footage from Nitro showing Adams gettng the pinfall Buff Bagwell, but Bagwell surviving the pin through expiration of the 10-minute time limit. Jeez, do they still do THAT anymore?

The match begins outside the ring right in front of the broadcast booth with Brian Adams pounding the heck out of Lex Luger, punctuated by squeals of delight from Schiavone and Tenay. Hot-shot jaw-buster on the safety railing rocks Luger, who then gets tossed unceremoniously into the ring by Adams. Four stiff boots to Luger's midsection by Adams. Luger crawls to the corner and gets pounded on some more. Adams drags Luger's carcass to the opposite corner and pounds on him yet again. Blatant choke hold by Adams, which referee "Slick" Johnson breaks up. As Adams is backed off by referee Johnson, Luger gets in a cheap shot clothesline that sends Adams tumbling over the ropes to ringside. Luger goes outside and hammers Adams' head into the steel steps, then rams Adams back-first into the steel guardrail. We get a so-so kick from Luger, and another, before Adams gets rolled back into the ring.
Aw, jeez, it's pose-down time from ol' "Stumbles."
Is that LAUGHTER I'm hearing from these Tupelo fans?
I am impressed with your good taste, folks. Well done.
Forearm smashes from Luger to the small of Adams' back. Cross-ring whip by Luger, who then hits a clothesline that hammers Adams to the canvas. Belly-to-back suplex on Adams by Luger. Pose-down again, and...
...doggone it, Luger's just GOTTA be hearing the fans laughing at him! He's just gotta!
Cover attempt by Luger, but Adams has used Luger's waste of time to recover somewhat, and he powers out of the near pin with ease. Cross-ring whip by Luger again, only this time, he locks Adams into a bearhug. I get the feeling Luger's using this hold to catch his breath (?), or to just kill some time, don't you? Adams has had enough, and headbutts his way out of the bearhug. Cross-ring whip by Luger, but his front suplex attempt got countered by one of Adams' own, that sends Luger tumbling into the ropes. Luger's momentum rebounds him off the ropes. Adams hits a nasty-looking backbreaker that Luger sells like he's been snapped in half. Out comes Buff Bagwell to make the save, but Adams vaults the ropes to wallop Bagwell, ONCE, at ringside. Bagwell goes down in a heap, and Adams re-enters the ring. Full Nelson Slam with maximum air on Luger gets Adams the clean pin (!) for the win.
Post-match, Bagwell recovers enough to try and blindside Adams. Buff's just getting started with the beat-down, when Bryan Clarke arrives with blood in his eye and vengeance on his mind. Bagwell gets a BAD pasting from Clarke, who then tosses him through the ropes. Luger first crawls, then totters back up the ramp, holding himself and making statements. Bagwell staggers up, hooks Luger's arm with his own, and just keeps going. Bagwell doesn't even look back, as Kronik glower after them from the ring.
VERY slowly paced. I doubt that there were thirty holds total in the whole match.

Expanded WCW Upcoming Events Calendar:

2/11 Baton Rouge, LA (House show)
2/12 Biloxi, MS (Nitro)
2/18 Nashville, TN (Superbrawl/Revenge PPV)
2/19 Huntsville, AL (Nitro)
2/25 Lake Charles, LA (House show)
2/26 New Orleans, LA (Nitro)
3/4 Johnson City, TN (House show)
3/5 Greenville, SC (Nitro)
3/11 McMinnville, TN (House show)
3/12 Knoxville, TN (Nitro)
3/18 Jacksonville, FL (Greed-PPV)
3/19 Gainesville, FL (Nitro)
3/25 Mobile, AL (House show)
3/26 Panama City, FL (Nitro)

(Special Note: As of 9 Feb 2001, WCW has cancelled their reservations on all venues previously booked for April. This includes the 15 April PPV. Draw your own conclusions.)

Match #5: Rey Mysterio, Jr. d. The Wall (w/ Chavo Guerrero, Jr.), (moonsault/pin, 7:05)

As Rey makes his way to the ring, Mike Tenay talks up his past matches with Kevin Nash, where Rey played the "giant killer" role.
The question is, will he do it again facing this behemoth?
Well, the match starts inauspiciously for Rey when the Wall shoves him into a corner. Rey tries a springboard cross-body block, but the Wall catches him in mid-air. The Wall then does a ONE-HANDED gorilla press, and holds Rey up there for a long time before dropping him face-first on the mat. Cross-ring whip by the Wall, but Rey leaps on his back ad locks on a sleeper hold. The Wall sells it for a bit, then backs up into the turnbuckle stack, squashing Rey in the process. The Wall climbs the turnbuckle stack, hooks Rey across the throat with oe massive forearm, and hangs Rey, his feet dangling in mid-air, from it. As Tenay's hollering for somebody to stop this, the Wall casually tosses Rey over the top rope and a LONG way down to the floor. Right where Chavo Guerrero's waiting for him. Chavo takes the opportunity to pound on Rey, finally tossing him over the steel guardrail and into the crowd. At this point, Rey has lost both of his horns, either to Chavo, or being hung out to dry by the Wall. Speaking of which, the Wall climbs up onto the broadcast booth and hangs Rey once again. The wall tosses Rey back into the ring OVER the top rope from ringside. Rey gets a cross-corner whip from the Wall, who follows up with another vicious pummeling. Cross-corner whip, and Rey gets a face-first "snake-eyes" off the top turnbuckle. Oh, man, the Wall hits a massive belly-to-back suplex on Rey, who at this point should be moving only with the aid of a blotter. The Wall drags him back to the center of the ring, then climbs up top, (up TOP?!) for a legdrop attempt. Rey sees the avalanche coming, and bails out in the nick of time. Springboard shoulder block from Rey, followed by a freakin' Thesz Press that would make ol' Stone Cold grin. Lateral press, cover, 1,2, Chavo hammers him to break the pinfall. Rey responds by tossing Chavo out of the ring. HOLY SMOKES what a plancha! As Rey and Chavo pound on each other at ringside, here comes Hugh Morrus to get a piece of the Wall. One "No Laughing Matter" moonsault from the big man, and the Wall's in La La Land. Rey scampers up top and hits a moonsault of his own for the win, as the crowd goes crazy.
Post-match, the former MIA team-mates attack Rey, but Hugh Morrus is there to make the save.

Instant replay shows the end of the match.


Match #6: Kwee-Wee d. (1)some poor fan, (punch-out/pin, 0:48) and (2) Johnny Dotson (piledriver/pin, 2:34)

As Kwee-Wee enters the ring, we get footage of his previous outrages against the fans and trainee wrestlers. And all in the name of getting accepted as a member of the, what are they now? the "Magnificent Seven?"

Man, this guy needs Paisley on his arm.

"Flair, the Kwee-Wee will not be ignored anymore..."

BIG sign behind him says "SHUT UP and Wrestle!"

Well, some poor schnook gets hauled over the guardrail, clobbered, and tossed into the ring. Three punches later, and Kwee-Wee goes for the pinfall.
As Kwee-Wee gets his hand raised in "victory", Power Plant grad Johnny Dotson nails him from off the top rope with a Missile Dropkick. We get a ring of the bell at this point, just as Kwee-Wee recovers, and hits a stiff snap suplex on Dotson. Cross-ring whip by Kwee-Wee, who catches and spins Dotson into a face-first flapjack on the mat. Kwee-Wee starts stomping on Dotson, then whips him into the ropes for a towering back body drop. Dotson then gets tossed through the ropes to the floor, where Kwee-Wee continues to pummel him unmercifully. Dotson gets dragged to the broadcast booth, where Kwee-Wee puts him in a front facelock, and hollers at Tenay and Schiavone that he's "all man!" Kwee-Wee whips Dotson into the steel guardrail, then carries him back up the ring steps like a sack of flour. He hotshots Dotson off the top rope, and Dotson hits the floor at ringside hard. Another facelock by Kwee-Wee, before he rolls Dotson into the ring once more. Kwee-Wee sets, and hits the piledriver on Dotson, getting the pinfall.
"Flair, the Kwee-Wee is all man, and I WILL NOT be ignored!"


Match #7: Konnan d. Mike Sanders, ("Tequila Sunrise"/submission, 4:42).

Sanders is out first, and sporting some new togs, too. As he jaws with some fans at ringside, the Filthy Animals theme music fires up, and out comes the K-Dawg. Tony comments on footage from last week's Thunder where Konnan got punked out by Reno at the behest of Mike Sanders. As Konnan does the "bowdy 'bout it" routine in the ring, it looks like the crowd at ringside has been augmented to a "Standing Room Only" level.
Konnan finishes his little screed about the treachery of Mike Sanders.

Tony says "Word!"
I am NOT kidding!
The next noise we hear MUST be Mike Tenay's jaw dropping open in stunned disbelief.
Then Tony says "Sorry, it just popped into my mind..."
The schnook freakin' APOLOGIZED for it!

All together now, fans...
THIS ... IS ... WCW!

Konnan's got this one under control from the get-go, with a series of good, albeit slowly applied, near-fall holds. After watching the recent Professor's Pick on WCW Worldwide, Konnan may be moving a little slower these days, but he hasn't lost any of his ring savvy. Sanders counters with a roll-over pin attempt that gets a 2-count from referee Charles Robinson. Konnan breaks free, and locks on his standing Figure Four leglock. Sanders is hollering, as Charles Robinson checks for a submission. Sanders responds with a thumb to Konnan's left eye that breaks the hold. Konnan charges in, only to get a drop toe-hold that hangs him out to dry on the middle ring rope. Sanders puts the boot in, then goes for the choke-across-the-rope move that the ref. breaks up real fast. Sanders puts the boot in some more, snap mares Konnan, then does a springboard front kick to Konnan's chest, doubling him up. Sanders does some jukin' 'n' jivin' for a bit, then hammers a knee across the forehead of K-Dawg. Lateral press, cover, 1,2, Konnan kicks out. A second pin attempt by Sanders gets nothing as well. Sanders then hides a choke hold for a bit, but Robinson spots it and calls him off. Cross-ring whip by Sanders, and another, but the charge-in by Sanders eats a Big K-Dawg Boot that staggers him back. Konnan misses with a half-hearted clothesline, but Sanders doesn't, and down goes Konnan again. More jawing with the crowd by Sanders, then a pin attempt that goes nowhere.
Big boot to Konnan's gut, and Sanders takes time to clean whatever off his bootlaces. Sanders gets in a stomp to Konnan's right shoulder (miss-called by tenay as the "lower back") and another boot to Konnan's midsection. Reverse chinlock by Sanders slows this match down even further. (I'm seeing folks at ringside putting on their coats and leaving. Not a good sign.) Sanders locks on a modified Cobra Clutch. Konnan hits a power surge, breaks the hold, does a cross-ring whip, and hammers sanders with his "Rolling Thunder" clothesline. Hip-toss by Konan into a (Tony: "...arm-drag takeover...") Cross-ring whip, Konnan leapfrogs Sanders, then nails him on th rebound with a mule kick to the right kneecap. Sit-out facebuster by Konnan, who then locks Sanders into his "Tequila Sunrise" finisher, getting the submission.
Good, though slowly-paced match.


Mean Gene's got the Harris Boys backstage. Heavy D chides Okerlund for even thinking about questioning his injury. Oh yeah, and he just got his manager's license ("manager's license?") in the mail today. (In the MAIL?) Big Ron issues a challenge to the entire locker room to face him because, "I'm just like butter, baby, I'm on a roll!"
Anybody else feel in need of washing up?

Flair's trying to restrain Scott Steiner, who's all hot about the upcoming Main Event. Steiner won't be denied this time, so Flair begs him to not do anything "until the final bell rings. Steiner agrees, and stalks off, with Midajah in tow.

"Oh, the Champ's crazy again," whines Flair, "what am I gonna do?"
Whaddaya mean AGAIN, "Naitch?"

Nash! DDP! Walking!
Jarrett! DFG! Walking!

Main Event's Next!
But first...


Jeff Jarrett makes his entrance, followed by Rick Steiner, US Title in hand.
Steiner and announcer David Penzer have a couple of words. Steiner then has trouble putting his Ray-bas in his jacket pocket.
"Self...High...Five!" and out comes DDP.
Schiavone worries about where Kanyon is, and elaborates on the feud he has with DDP.

Shot of a kid at ringside doing the "Diamond Cutter" gesture while wearing a "WWJD?" bracelet is WAY too priceless for words.


Here's ol' "Big Sexy", er, I mean "Killer" himself. Kevin Nash makes his entrance as DDP waits on the ramp, while Jarrett and Steiner look on from the ring.

Match #8: Kevin Nash & Diamond Dallas Page d. Jeff Jarrett & Rick Steiner, (Nash with Jack-knife Powerbomb on Steiner/pin, 7:51) Thunder Tag-team Main Event.

We get a Pier Sixer to start things off, with Steiner against Nash, and Jarrett against DDP. Nash just wallops Steiner around the ring, while DDP clotheslines Jarrett over the top rope. Both heels are at ringside, staggering over to the broadcast booth. Nash & DDP both bask in the fans' adulation, as Jarrett & Steiner plot some strategy. Tenay recounts Jarrett's nasty plan on last week's Nitro that ended with DDP being carted off to jail. (No word, though as to how Flair, Steiner, Jarrett and Midajah ever made bail after the Thunder show. Another little WCW mystery, I guess... )
We get about two minutes of the principals just standing around, glaring at each other, before DDP and Jarrett mix things up. Good series of chain wrestling moves, with Jarrett showing off his ring prowess. Hammerlock by Jarrett gets an elbow to the noggin from DDP to break the hold. Cross-ring work ends with Jarrett being clotheslined out of his boots by DDP. Cross-corner whip by DDP, who ducks under the Jarrett Big Boot, submarines out of the ring, grabs Jarrett's ankles, and "wish-bones" him around the steel ring-post! Ouch! Jarrett sells it like crazy, while Rick Steiner's hollering at the referee about "cheating!" Forearm smash by DDP, and a cross-ring whip. Jarrett reverses, and DDP gets a clout on the back of the head from Steiner. DDP hauls off and lambasts Steiner with a forearm smash to the face that knocks him off the ring apron. Jarrett counters with a boot to the gut and a DDT that sends DDP to the mat. Jarrett crawls over and weakly tags Steiner, then crawls to his corner, clutching himself. Elbow smash by Steiner across DDP's throat. Steiner takes time out to jaw with Nash, then locks a face-stretcher on DDP. Steiner tosses DDP to the corner, (by his face!) then taunts Nash. As Nash gets sent back to his corner by the referee, Steiner tags Jarrett. DDP gets a mudhole stomped in him by Jarrett, who takes time out to argue with the referee. As Steiner intimidates the ref. Mike Tenay shills for the upcoming Superbrawl PPV in Nashville, TN. DDP powers out, and hammers Jarrett with a series of rights to the breadbasket. Cross-ring whip by DDP, but he telegraphs the back body drop, and Jarrett nails him with a front kick to the gut, and a big punch to the forehead. Tag to Steiner, who boots DDP in the stomach. Snap mare into a chinlock by Steiner, and everybody takes a breather. DDP and Nash do the "reaching for the tag" routine, and the crowd's hollering like crazy. Steiner breaks the chinlock to hammer Nash with one good forearm smash. As Nash gets shoved back into the corner, Jarrett and Steiner double-team DDP. Cross-corner whip by Jarrett, but he hits the turnbuckle stack hard on the charge-in as DDP walks away...
...and right into a Steiner clothesline.
Lateral press by Jarrett, and a cover, 1,2, DDP gets a shoulder up. Cross-ring whip by Jarrett into a sleeper hold. DDP begins to fade, then revives and hammers two quick elbows into Jarrett's gut. Cross-ring whip by Jarrett gets reversed, and DDP nails Jarrett with a sleeper-into-neckbreaker combination. Both men are down and the ten-count starts. Signs of life are evident at "six", as Jarrett tags Steiner, who quickly drags DDP back from Nash's outstretched hand, taunting Nash as he does so. Belly-to-belly suplex by Steiner, and a cover, 1,2, DDP gets a shoulder up. Rick Steiner's arguing with the referee about the slow count, but he just doesn't have Scott Steiner's "intimidation quotient" going for him. Tag to Jarrett, who gets into a slugfest with DDP. Jarrett locks on a front chancery, as DDP reaches for a tag to Kevin Nash. DDP is bodily powerlifting Jarrett closer to the outstretched hand of Nash, but Steiner comes in to hammer DDP across the back to stop the attempted tag. Jarrett drags DDP back into the Wrong Part of Town, where he and Steiner go to work on DDP with forearm smashes, punches and kicks. DDP hits a power surge, and starts fighting his way out of the corner with elbow smashes and right crosses. Kick attempt by DDP gets missed, so they run it again, and DDP clotheslines Jarrett to the mat. Ten count time again, as we get a shot of Nash's outstretched hand.
DDP slo-o-o-wly crawls over to his corner, with the Tupelo fans, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, and the assembled Heavenly Host all howling for a tag...
...which he makes ...
...and in comes Killer!
Nash is just unstoppable, (go figure!) as he deals out destruction to Steiner and Jarrett in wholesale lots. Sidewalk slam for Jarrett. BIG sidewalk slam for Steiner. Cross-ring whip by Nash who follows up with a Big Boot to the head that misses by a mile, (thanks, Mr. Cameraman!). Jarrett still sells it like he's been hit in the face with a steel I-beam, and down he goes.
Crowd's on it's feet, and there's a lot of "Wolf Ears" signs in evidence.
Big Boot to Steiner's noggin, and down HE goes. Jarrett rolls out of the ring, as Nash yanks down the straps, and the crowd goes crazy. DDP's busy hammering Jarrett at ringside, as Nash drive a knee into steiner's midsection, doubling him over...
...Jack-knife Powerbomb!
Nash hooks the leg, 1,2,3!
Post-match, Nash does the crotch chop over the prostrate Dog-Faced Gremlin. DDP then log-rolls Steiner out of the ring.
As the DFG and Jarrett slink around to the broadcast booth, holding the Insiders' attention, Scott Steiner, Lex Luger, and Buff Bagwell start down the ramp. I smell a beat-down in the making...
..or maybe not, as Brian Adams and Bryan Clarke step out through the crowd at ringside to lend a hand.
The World Heavyweight Champ leads Totally Buffed down the ramp to the ring, with lots of emphatic finger-pointing and trash-talking for the four faces in the ring, and you just know that there's a battle of epic proportions about to take place...


Closing credits.

This was a MUCH better show than Nitro, with better plot development, and WAY better wrestling. Total actual in-ring action amounted to 46 minutes, 3 seconds.
"Best Match" honors goes to the opener between Kaz Hayashi and Shane Helms, with the Cat/Skipper match running a close second. "Dud Match" DIS-honors go to the Kwee-Wee nonsense.
Special thanks to Diamond Dallas Page and Jeff Jarrett for "carrying the load" (or should it be TWO "loads?") in the Main Event. You ROCK, gentlemen!

By the way, Kevin Nash worked just fifty-one seconds of the bout.

Choke on that, slapnuts!

See you next week!

E.C. Ostemeyer
[slash] wrestling

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