WCW Thunder by E.C. Ostermeyer
"Welcome back my friends
to the show that never ends..."
Tonight, on Thunder, you will glimpse something rarely seen...
Opening video footage from Nitro. The (ill-timed?) "funeral" for Kevin Nash's career. Scott Steiner swears eternal vendetta on Diamond Dallas Page. Kris Kanyon rises from the dead. Jeff Jarrett's hilarious impersonation of Dusty Rhodes is shown. Reiteration of the new Steiner-Page feud.
Opening credit montage. Good shot of Lance Storm, huh?
Thirty minutes into the future.
We are live (but on tape this time) from Huntsville, AL. The arena's upper decks appear to be darkened, but you can still see a smattering of people up there.
Opening pyro, excellent as always.
Us southern boys KNOW fireworks!
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone and Mike Tenay, who start right off hyping the WCW "Greed"-PPV in general, and the scheduled World Heavyweight Title match between Champ Scott Steiner and Challenger Diamond Dallas Page in particular. The bout should be a good one, given the past bad blood between these two, both in the ring and out of it
While Schiavone and Tenay are plugging the PPV, Kwee-Wee's heading to the ring, microphone in hand.
There's a BIG yellow sign in the crowd touting the "IWF."
Kwee-Wee gives us the usual screed about his not being taken seriously by Ric Flair, that he's tired of being ignored, etc, etc. Therefore, he issues an open challenge to anyone in the back.
He gets Kaz Hayashi.
Match #1: Kaz Hayashi d. Kwee-Wee, (slingshot DDT/pin, 7:12)
The match opens with a quick back and forth walloping between the two, with Kwee-Wee dominating. Hayashi seizes the momentum with a roundhouse kick, and a corkscrew plancha over the top rope. Cross-corner whip by Kaz, but Kwee-Wee boots him on the charge-in. Zeep! and Kwee-Wee turns into his alter ego, "Angry Allan", who promptly nails Hayashi with a belly to back suplex against the turnbuckle stack. Ouch! Kwee-Wee flapjacks Hayashi face-first to the mat, rolls him over, lateral press and a cover 1,2, Hayashi kicks out. Kwee-Wee bounces Kaz' head off the mat and covers again, but just misses the pin. Both men get to their feet, cross-ring whip, but Kaz boots Kwee-Wee right in the breadbasket. Kwee-Wee doubles over and rolls to the outside. Kaz in pursuit, but Kwee-Wee wallops him and tosses him back in the ring. Suplex by Kwee-Wee leads to a near-pin. Kwee-Wee's just pounding away at Kaz, who fights back with a spinning heel kick. Back body drop lands Kwee-Wee on the apron. Dueling suplex attempts, with Kaz reversing and suplexing Kwee-Wee out to the floor. Kwee-Wee tries a tope con hilo, misses, and a Kaz flying headscissors makes Kwee-Wee eat the steel steps. Back in the ring, Kwee-Wee tries to mount an offense, succeeding with a snap clothesline shot. Kwee-Wee goes up top, but gets blocked. Kaz tries for a superplex, but Kwee-Wee shoves him off. Missile dropkick attempt by Kwee-Wee is countered with a standing dropkick from Kaz which connects first. Victory Roll attempt by Kwee-Wee, but Kaz rolls through it, then counters with a STIFF buzzsaw kick. He follows up with a cover, nearly getting the pinfall. Kwee-Wee's last attempt to turn the match around gets blocked, and Kaz hits a slingshot DDT for the win. Post-match, Kwee-Wee REALLY flips out, and nails Kaz with a forearm smash, then finishes him off with a piledriver.
Good match. Though he would normally be classed as a light heavyweight, Kwee-Wee's got the speed and the agility necessary to make a serious contribution to WCW's nascent cruiserweight division. Since his story arc has him wanting Flair to notice him, how about having him blindside the Cruiserweight champ Chavo Guerrero Jr?
Well, well, look who shows up back stage! It's good ol' Disqo, who's apparently all better now, and been cleared to wrestle.
He sits down at a table with Alex Wright, who is less than pleased to see him. Looks like Disqo's got 'em a tag match. Now Wright is REALLY displeased about the Boogie Knights getting back together.
Hey, is that Pamela Paulshock in the background with Nitro Girl Naughty-A? And what's that she's reading?
Back in the ring, Hugh Morrus has a microphone, and The Laughing Guy ain't laughing now! Footage from Nitro shows Morrus clobbering Lance Storm, and Rick Steiner squashing Lash Leroux. Morrus calls down fire and brimstone upon Rick Steiner for his triple Spicolli Driver-ing of Lash Leroux on Nitro. We get visual aids on the ThunderVision as proof. Morrus wants the Dog Faced Gremlin out there to get his ass kicked. Well, he gets a Steiner, all right, but it's Scott. Da Champ declares that he's gonna take care of the locker room's "Mr. Inspiration" here once and for all by breaking his back and his spirit. Morrus taunts Steiner, and wonders if Rick's got Scott fighting his battles for him. Yikes, Rick Steiner appears out of the crowd at ringside to blind-side Morrus. They brawl for a bit in the ring, then roll outside where Morrus begins to gain the upper hand over the DFG. Scott Steiner breaks that up, and the Steiner Bros. get ready for the beat-down of Morrus. Klown Kar o' wrestlers stampedes toward the ring to save "Mr. Inspiration." Looks like Sean O'Haire, Chuck Palumbo, Big Vito, Jamie Knoble, Dustin Rhodes, Kronik, and Shane Helms are involved here. The Steiners wisely bail out as the (ad hoc) WCW Men's Chorus was getting ready to hold an impromptu "choir practice" in the ring. (Brian Adams really doesn't look well here, by the way, and was later rushed to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. Here's hoping you heal up fast, big guy!)
WCW Greed PPV promo. Sean O'Haire's image is prominently shown four times, as is World Champ Scott Steiner's. Buff Bagwell appears twice, and ties for second place with Jeff Jarrett. Ric Flair, Billy Kidman, Chuck Palumbo, and Ric Flair each have one
You know, this is almost like the old days in the Cold War, when "Kremlin -watchers" used to guess who was in and who was out by watching which Party leaders appeared on top of Lenin's Tomb for the May Day Parade.
Backstage Promo Time:
1) In a hallway, Scott and Rick Steiner are out to make sure that nobody comes out to help Morrus during the match later on tonight. Scott's jabbering away like a crack-head Bill Clinton "splainin' hims-eff", while it looks like Rick's Valium medication level may need adjusting. Again.
2) Aw, jeez, here's Ric Flair not doing his image any good by being seen in the company of Totally Buff. Kris Kanyon looks like he'd rather be anywhere but there. Anyhoo, Luger gets Chuck Palumbo tonight, while Buff Bagwell and Kris Kanyon get to take on DDP and the Cat. Sheesh, all we need is Judy Bagwell!
3) Big Vito's wandering the halls, looking for Johnny the Bull. He finds Shawn Stasiak. Mr. Perfect makes a derogatory remark about Vito's sister, Maria. Vito, of Italian-American extraction, and resident of the island of Staten, takes exception to this, and demands a match tonight. Stasiak can't keep his big bazoo shut, at which point Vito decides to shut it for him. Mark Jindrak blind-sides Vito. We've got a two-on-one started which Vito quickly dominates, as the WCW Security "swarmers" break up the fight.
As they are separating, Vito gets in a good, SOLID punch right in Stasiak's mouth that looked real as all get out!
Where's the Instant Replay when you need it?
Match #2: AJ Styles & Air Paris d. the Boogie Knights (version 2K1), (top-rope flying cross-body by Styles on Disqo/pin, 6:20)
Schiavone and Tenay talk up AJ Styles and Air Paris as they make their entrance. Footage from last week's Thunder shows their debut against Jamie Knoble and Evan Karagias.
Disqo and Wright are arguing as they walk to the ring. Disqo's actually got some fans cheering about his return to WCW.
He's wearing a T-shirt that reads "DI 2K1". Cute.
Disqo and Wright take their own sweet time in the ring, with Disqo basking in the heel heat.
Match begins with Wright and Air Paris squaring off. Shoving match degenerates into a slugging match, with Wright landing a nasty European uppercut that drops Air Paris to the canvas. Wright tosses Air Paris into the near corner and starts working him over. Tag to Disqo, and the Boogie Knights double-team an Atomic Drop and a spinning heel kick combination on Air Paris. Disqo's going for the humiliation bit on Air Paris by taunting and slapping at him when he's down. Cross-ring whip by Disqo, but Air Paris hangs on the ropes, and nails Disqo with a superkick right in the face. Tag to Styles, who hits Disqo with a shoulder block through the ropes, but gets a Disqo boot in the breadbasket in return. Cross-knee facebuster by Disqo, who tags Wright back in. Wright forgets all this wrestling holds nonsense by dumping Styles in the corner and walloping him with another European uppercut and a knife-edge chop. Cross-corner whip by Wright, but Styles avoids the charge-in, and Wright catches the whole turnbuckle stack in the chest. Cross-corner whip by Styles gets reversed by Wright, who then counters with a snap-butterfly suplex. It's "Boogie Time" for Alex Wright, who then tags in Disqo. A side Russian legsweep from Disqo hammers Styles to the mat. Styles rolls back to his corner for the desperation tag to Air Paris. With Disqo in the corner, Air Paris tries a running knee-lift, but Disqo sees it coming, and steps aside. Air Paris jams his knee into the middle turnbuckle. Disqo grabs the injured knee, and hits a knee-drop of his own right on it. Brainbuster by Disqo, and a tag to Wright, who goes up top and does a Giant Stomp from the top turnbuckle right on the small of Paris' back. Cross-ring whip by Wright, but Paris counters with a flying cross-body block, and down goes Wright. Cover by Paris, 1,2, Wright powers out with authority. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Wright, who then goes up top once again. This time, he gets caught, then crotched by Air Paris on the top turnbuckle. As Paris goes up for the Ten-Count Punch-Down on Wright, Disqo sneaks in and shoulder-carries Paris away, allowing Wright to hit a towering missile dropkick off the top that clobbers Paris. Styles goes for the save, but Wright shoulder-blocks him through the ropes to ringside. Wright taunts Styles, as Disqo does a cross-corner whip on Paris. Disqo tries a running Giant Splash, but Styles pulls Paris out of the way, and Disqo catches the whole near-side turnbuckle stack in the chest. Tag to AJ Styles, who unfortunately runs right into a scoopslam from Disqo. Flying double axehandle from the middle turnbuckle by Disqo gets nothing but canvas, and Styles responds with a boot to Disqo's gut. Hiptoss attempt by Disqo gets a tilt-a-whirl escape from Styles, who drops Disqo into a Victory Roll for the near fall. Cross-ring whip, but Styles gets in a flying DDT off the ropes, and almost gets the pinfall. Tag to Air Paris.
The crowd's pretty quiet at ringside, despite the very active crowd noise soundtrack. Hmmmm.
Styles hits a reverse Atomic Drop, and Paris nails him with a leaping dropkick. Cover, 1,2, Wright makes the save. Tag to Styles by Air Paris, who whips Disqo into the far ropes, then ducks as AJ Styles catches Disqo full in the face with a leaping dropkick of his own. Knee-lift by Paris sends Disqo spinning out of the ring. Wright climbs down off the ring apron to argue with Disqo about the course of the match, and both members of Boogie Knights fall prey to an AJ Styles' split-leg senton off the top rope! Wow! What a move! Disqo recovers first and whips Styles into the steel guardrail at ringside. While this is going on, Air Paris goes WAY up top, and splatters Wright with a towering cross-body block on the outside. Disqo grabs Paris and throws him back in the ring. Cross-ring whip by Disqo gets reversed, then reversed again, and Disqo sets for a hangman's neckbreaker, but changes to a backbreaker instead. As Disqo does some more boogie moves in the ring, he fails to notice AHJ Styles going up top. Styles nails him with a SOARING cross-body block that gets the pin and the win.
The crowd at ringside is on it's feet cheering this upset victory of Styles and Paris over the Boogie Knights. Disqo and Wright are in the ring arguing about the outcome of the match, as we get the Castrol GTX (Drive HARD!) Instant Replay. Fuss all you want, but I'm my kudos goes to Disqo and Wright for doing an excellent job to put these two newcomers over. Good job, guys, in a good match, no matter what the fans at ringside thought.
And here's a promo for Kid Romeo, who's debut is expected shortly. This guy drives a PROWLER?!
Hey, does he still have those light stick thingies?
Match #3: Shawn Stasiak d. Big Vito (guillotine drop neckbreaker/pin, 3:50)
Stasiak's on the stick, (oh NO!) trying to stir up some heel heat by using the words "Huntsville" and "in-breeding" in the same sentence. Comparisons are drawn between Huntsville and Staten Island, and Stasiak says that Vito better get his ass out there right now, because "The longer I stay here, the sicker I get!"
(No, no, Shawn, it's "The longer you stay here, the sicker WE get!")
Big Vito climbs into the ring, dumps his coat at ringside, and bounces his hat off Stasiak's face. Oh, dear, now the hat's all covered in bronzer!
Stasiak retaliates by pounding Vito back into the corner, only to get an elbow right in the mouth. Leaping dropkick from Vito hits Stasiak in the head again. Stasiak blocks and floors Vito, then does some more trash-talking the fans. Oops, too much talk leads to Vito taking action, and he rolls Stasiak up, nearly getting a pinfall. Stasiak powers out, then nails Vito with a clothesline, staggering him back into the corner. Vito hits a power surge and a sidewalk slam on Stasiak. Time for a bit of a rest, as ol' Shawn appears to be a bit winded. After a bit of a snooze, we get more action with Vito walloping Stasiak with a back body drop, topped off with a neat little suplex. Top-turnbuckle flying elbow drop by Vito almost gets a pinfall. Pedigree by Vito and another near-fall. Stasak comes back with a roundhouse right forearm smash. Vito nails him with a Mafia Kick, and a cover 1,2, Stasiak gets a shoulder up. Cross-corner whip by Vito, but Stasiak sees him coming, steps aside, and hammers Vito with a snake-eyes off the top turnbuckle. Powerslam by Stasiak nearly gets the win, but Vito kicks out. Vito's groggy, as Stasiak does his "Perfect Plex" signature finisher on him. Vito, surprising all of us, gets a shoulder up! Another armbar into a powerslam by Stasiak, who then finishes off Vito with a guillotine drop neckbreaker for the win.
Doggone it, who gave Stasiak the microphone?
More blather about the fans at ringside, and tonight's worthless opponent. Look, Shawn, you WON! Just leave it at that, and go away!
Hey, kids, it's Devon "Crowbar" Storm!
Crowbar doesn't look too friendly right now, does he, kids?
Wonder what his problem is?
Is he missing Daffney Unger?
Nope. Seems Crowbar thinks "wrestling" changing into "sports entertainment" is a bad thing.
Case in point, Jeff Jarrett's impersonation of Dusty Rhodes on Nitro.
Crowbar does a passable imitation of Ren & Stimpy's "Mr. Horse," saying he doesn't like it, and he's challenging Jeff Jarrett to a match tonight over Jarrett dissing Dusty Rhodes.
This from a guy who was just recently doing Gordon Solie impressions.
Can you kids say "Greetings from the Sunshine State?"
How about "Ehh-ehhhhh?"
I knew you could!
Buff Bagwell and Kris Kanyon are backstage, analyzing in excruciating detail the Kanyon Kutter that put The Cat's Ms. Jones in the hospital.
Hugh Morrus gets the "Pulp Fiction" treatment this week. We get more about his being the heart and soul of the WCW locker-room. What's neat about this segment is that WCW Post Production worked tonight's confrontation with the Steiners into the promo already! I am becoming more and more impressed with what the "Posties" are doing nowadays. Believe me, it's a vast improvement over what we were watching only five months ago.
Match #4: Diamond Dallas Page & The Cat (but w/o Ms. Jones) d. Buff Bagwell & Kris Kanyon, (Cat w/ "Feliner" finisher/pin, 7:03)
Sign in the crowd: "Totally BARF!"
As Bagwell and Kanyon arrive, we get footage from Nitro where Ms. Jones slaps the taste out of Kanyon's mouth, and gets "Kanyon Kutter"-ed in return. Mike Tenay informs us that Ms. Jones is currently "undergoing tests" as a result of this heinous act.
Well, Kanyon tries his "Who's better than Kanyon?" routine from WAY long ago. It gets the same lukewarm response. Bagwell tries to get clever, and fails utterly. Angered by the lack of response, he hollers for DDP and the Cat to get their asses out there. Backstage, we see the Cat and DDP just a-strolling along. The Cat grins as DDP imparts some neat-o strategy. DDP spots Mr. Cameraman, and goofs for him as we go to
We come back to find the Cat trotting down the ramp carrying the dreaded steel chair. As he dives into the ring, Bagwell and Kanyon bail out the other side. There's lots of finger-pointing going on before the Cat grabs the microphone. He's here to clean house, and his partner tonight is the only guy he can trust.
Cue "Self...High...FIVE!" and out comes DDP.
He rips though Bagwell and Kanyon at ringside, then tosses them both into the ring, and the Pier-Sixer begins. The Cat and DDP just clean house on the heels for a good minute, both of whom bail out to regroup. Buff's grabbing at his eye and hollering something. Ol' Doc Kanyon looks at the eye, but before he can complete his diagnosis and prescribe treatment, Buff gets p.o.-ed at the crowd hollering "DDP! DDP!"
"SHUT UP!" he bellows, which causes the crowd to shout all the louder.
The heels return to the ring, where Buff and DDP get things started for real. DDP's stalks Bagwell while wearing a REALLY disturbing grin on his face. A couple more rows of teeth, and he could pass for a shark! Yikes! Buff taunts DDP by doing a Diamond Cutter imitation, complete with "BANG!" This, of course, prompts DDP to turn around and nail Kanyon with a Big Right Hand right between the eyes. Kanyon spins off the ring apron, and lands somewhere near the Redstone Arsenal. DDP turns back to Bagwell, who is suddenly not quite so cocky. Bagwell decides bail out, so he tags a somewhat wobbly Kanyon in. Who promptly runs right into another Big Right Hand from DDP. We get a slugfest between the two for a bit, with DDP finally dominating courtesy of a snap lariat, and a belly-to-belly suplex that hammers Kanyon into the mat. After a near fall attempt, DDP tags in the Cat, and Kanyon gets worked over real good with punches and kicks from all directions. Clothesline from DDP and the Cat covers but only gets a two count. Kanyon staggers over and tags in Bagwell, who gets momentum going the heels' way with a neckbreaker on the Cat. Elbow drop and a back body drop send the Cat to the canvas, where Bagwell covers, but only gets two. Hiptoss by Bagwell gets blocked, then countered with a stiff clothesline shot. The Cat tags DDP, then boots Bagwell in the midsection, doubling him over. As Bagwell painfully straightens back up, DDP clotheslines him big-time! Cover by DDP, 1,2, no! Bagwell hits a power surge, and does a very sloppy double underhook facebuster on DDP,and a near-fall. As the referee is distracted by Buff's antics enraging the Cat, Kanyon's busy throttling DDP on the ring ropes. Bagwell snaps DDP off the ropes, then goes for a cover, but comes up empty. Tag to Kanyon who nails DDP with a double axehandle smash and a cover, but doesn't get the pin. Suplex by Kanyon followed by a springboard elbow smash, and another pin attempt. Front facelock applied by Kanyon to DDP, and everybody takes a breather for a bit.
As the Cat is arguing with the referee, Kanyon sneaks over and punches him one over the referee's shoulder. As the ref is busy breaking this fracas up, across the ring, Buff is choking DDP. Page fights out of it, and goes to Stomp City, first on Bagwell, and then on Kanyon. Roundhouse clothesline for Kanyon, and DDP collapses as well. It's a race to see who tags first, which Kanyon wins by the barest of margins. The Cat squares off against Buff Bagwell and Kanyon, The Cat's just whomping on the heels. He hammers 'em with a double noggin-knocker, and follows up with a double elbow drop. Buff starts to regain some momentum, with a roll-up attempt, but the Cat lands on his feet, does a DX-crotch chop, and then nails Buff right in the forehead with a Big Right Hand. Unfortunately, Kanyon's right there with a flying lariat. DDP hauls Kanyon out of the ring, leaving the Cat with a wobbly Buff Bagwell. One "Feliner" kick later, and the Cat gets the pinfall.
Man, this was another good match! Everybody worked their butts off!
Expanded WCW Upcoming Events Calendar:
2/25 Lake Charles, LA (House show)
2/26 New Orleans, LA (Nitro)
3/4 Johnson City, TN (House show)
3/5 Greenville, SC (Nitro)
3/11 McMinnville, TN (House show)
3/12 Knoxville, TN (Nitro)
3/18 Jacksonville, FL (Greed-PPV)
3/19 Gainesville, FL (Nitro)
3/25 Mobile, AL (House show)
3/26 Panama City, FL (Nitro)
Footage from Nitro showing Jeff Jarrett's hilarious Dusty Rhodes impression, and subsequent "El-Kabonging" of Dustin Rhodes as "a li'l atty-tude adjus-mint!"
Match # 5: Jeff Jarrett d. Crowbar ("The Stroke" finisher/pin, 3:32)
As Jarrett enters the ring, it's time, once again, to read some more:
Signs in the crowd!
Here's one that says "Slapnuts Blvd."
Even looks like a street sign.
"Be My Oompa Loompa!"
Jarrett gets a big pyro display, but not chance to talk, as Crowbar stalks down the ramp. He pauses, as if lost in thought, then zips under the bottom ring rope and starts doing back body drops on himself.
Well, he gets in about three of them before Jeff Jarrett submarines in and catches Crowbar in the middle of the fourth one with a Big Right Hand. The bell rings and we're underway.
Jarrett dominates for the first part of the match, and then tossing Crowbar into a corner. Cross-ring whip, but Crowbar boots Jarrett in the face with a double dropkick, then rolls him up for a quick near pinfall. An elbow drop by Crowbar misses, and Jarrett targets the injured elbow for "special attention."
Snap lariat by Jarrett is blocked, then countered by Crowbar with a hiptoss/sitout slam, and a near fall. Vaulting springboard cross-body block over the top riopes from Crowbar gets followed up with a picture-perfect moonsault, but the pinfall attempt fails. Cross-ring whip by Crowbar, who applies a sleeper hold. Jarrett staggers around for a bit, then hooks Crowbar's knee, and does a sloppy suplex over the top rope. On his way to the floor, Crowbar's left knee hits the ring apron hard. Crowbar's writhing on the floor holding his left knee. Jarrett's measuring Crowbar from inside the ring, then tries a baseball slide. Crowbar sees it coming and steps aside as Jarrett shoots under the ropes. Two punches and a short clothesline from Crowbar level Jarrett at ringside. Crowbar, still favoring the left knee, climbs up, and does his "Leap of Faith" swan dive off the ring apron. It looks like he's rally hurt that knee now, as Jarrett's the first to recover. He drags Crowbar down to the steel steps and bounces his noggin off them. Jarrett suplexes Crowbar's bum knee off the steel steps. Then he does it again, before tossing Crowbar into the ring. Jarrett goes up top, and hits a flying cross-body block , but only gets a near fall. As Jarrett gets to his feet, he tries a boot to Crowbar's gut. Crowbar catches it, leaving Jarrett teetering precariously on one foot. Oops, Jarrett hits a standing enziguiri kick that hammers Crowbar to the mat. Jarrett misses another pin attempt, then gets his cross-corner whip reversed. Crowbar hits a power surge, and begins raining punches on Jarrett. Ten-Count Punch-Down by Crowbar gets the crowd counting along. Crowbar goes REALLY "Old School" on Jarrett by gnawing on his forehead, and the crowd's just loving it. Cross-corner whip by Crowbar, but Jarrett does the floatover, and a rear waistlock. Crowbar reverses it, and ducks a wild Jarrett elbow shot. Northern Lights suplex by Crowbar and a cover ,1,2, and a half...Jarrett gets a shoulder up!
Cross-ring whip by Crowbar connects a flying elbow smash on Jarrett. As Crowbar sets up for a hurancanrana, Jarrett jams his bad knee hard into the mat. Jarrett then hits "The Stroke" on Crowbar and gets the pinfall.
Post-match, with Mr. Timekeeper "ringing the changes" on the ring bell, Jarrett sets Crowbar up for Dustin Rhodes' old "Shattered Dreams", ummm, "in-seam adjustment" thingie, but Dustin arrives on the scene to prevent that from happening,plus git him some Jeff Jarrett. After being pummeled around the ring by the enraged Dustin Rhodes, Jarrett bails out.
Buff Bagwell for WCW Mastercard. Every card comes with a real DNA sample from Buff Bagwell.
Don't ask how they got it. You don't want to know.
WCW CEO (and Dark Lord of the Sith) Ric Flair is backstage talking to the "Bim the Michelin Man" (Road Warrior Animal), and Rick, (see "Gremlin, Dog-Faced") Steiner. Topic seems to be what they've got planned for Hugh Morrus and Diamond Dallas Page tonight. DDP is Scott Steiner's main focus says Flair, so hugh Morrus has to be somebody else's. Those two somebodys are Animal and the DFG. As they leave, Flair says that they're gonna "protect Scotty!"
Omigod! It's the return of the "Shoot Interview" segment!
Hey, this week, it's Shane freakin' Douglas, too.
We learn that:
1. Shane Douglas has been in the business for over 20 years, and
2. He's from Pittsburgh, PA.
3. The hardest lesson that any professional wrestler will learn, is the business of professional wrestling, and
4. That professional wrestler has to learn about the backstage politics, pay his dues, and walk through that hell before he can get to the heaven of the top-carder.
5. Douglas calls Ric Flair "The best performer and the greatest politician, bar none!"
6. When Douglas walked into WCW, the one person who had the biggest heart fot the business was Ric Flair, and Douglas idolized him. However,
7. Flair could play the game of politics, of political chess that none of the other athletes were prepared to play.
8. He went to Flair to ask him to monitor his matches, only to discover that Flair had no intention of doing anything of the sort. Thus began the storied Flair/Douglas feud.
9. Douglas got an opportunity to join ECW, (though he doesn't mention it by name.) His hatred for Flair was the seed from which his "Franchise" character sprang. Move for move, the Franchise was given free reign in ECW, and could do no wrong.
10. Upon his return to WCW in 2000, Franchise didn't expect the glad-handing welcome he got from Flair.
11. Though he thought the hatchet had finally been buried between them, he wasn't prepared for what happened. (He holds up his cast-encased arm) Still, he should have realized that he was up against the dirtiest player in the game. So
12. Flair had better watch out, because one day the casts will come off, and the heart that Ric Flair had, now beats in the chest of the Franchise, and he will have his revenge, in the ring, or out of it.
"You made me, Ric. It's your cross to bear!
Backstage, Doug Dellinger is informing Sean O'Haire that he's been barred from ringside for the next match. O'Haire is of the opinion that Lex Luger is afraid of him. Buff Bagwell appears (did they CLONE this guy? Huh? Somebody tell me!), calls O'Haire "just a worker", and says that Luger's made more money than O'Haire will ever see, so O'Haire should shut his mouth, or he'll get it shut for him. Well, Buff's little excerpt from Dale Carnegie's handbook goes over like a lead balloon with Sean O'Haire, who gets restrained by Dellinger and his Security goons. Bagwell, of course, gets in a sucker punch over Dellinger's shoulder, then beats a hasty retreat. As the fracas continues, we inexplicably get a "loss of signal".
Good old "Scramblevision."
Reminds me of "GTV"
Hey, wasn't Dustin Rhodes/Goldust doing that bit over at the WWF?
And he's here now.
Well, the backstage fracas is still in progress.
Dellinger appears to be sporting a large mouse under his left eye.
Bagwell never could call his shots.
"...and so it begins..."
Match #6: Chuck Palumbo d. Lex Luger, (Small package/pin, 2:43).
Sweet Fanny Adams, what wretch gave Luger a microphone?!
Well, they allow him to blather and mumble about how great his life is, and how cheap and small Chuck Palumbo is for stealing his gimmick, way back during the Vince Russo "Reset". He sounds like he's trying hard to convince himself that what he says is true. The crowd starts up a "Gold-berg!" chant, which doesn't help the swelling to Luger's ego at all.
Behind Luger, ring announcer David Penzer's playing a quick game of slapjack with referee Charles Robinson.
Big sign in the crowd: "Hey YO!" Yes, I miss him, too.
Chuck Palumbo arrives, and things get started. Luger dominates briefly, as the crowd starts up a "Lu-ger SUCKS!" chant. Luger stops to glare at the fans, who chant all the louder. Mr. Cameraman spots the "Hey YO!" fan, who has rolled his sign up into a crude megaphone, and is hollering at the top of his lungs: "LU-GER SUCKS!" Collar and elbow, which Luger shoves out of, and stands eyeing Palumbo warily. Shot of Palumbo, who must be thinking that he's gonna have to do the heavy lifting in this match. Still no tie-up, as Luger's just strolling around the ring. Finally, Luger goes for a headlock on Palumbo, who counters with a front waistlock. Cross-ring whip by Palumbo. Luger rebounds off the ropes, and misses (read "pulls") a shoulder block, which Palumbo nevertheless sells like he's been hit by a train. Luger tries a springboard off the near ropes, but Palumbo leapfrogs, spikes Luger in the head with a standing double dropkick, then hits a clothesline that tumbles Luger into the near corner. Luger's doing the "No Mas!"-routine as Palumbo's daring him to come get some.
Schiavone says that Luger's trying to slow down the momentum of the match.
My response is "WHAT momentum?
Palumbo moves in for the kill, only to get shoved through the ropes and out to the floor. Luger hits a double axehandle off the ring apron, then introduces the small of Palumbo's back to various sections of steel guardrail. Luger takes his own sweet time about tossing Palumbo back in the ring. Luger stomps a mudhole on Palumbo, then stands a Big Boot on his throat. Luger drags palumbo to his feet, gives him a sorta shove against the ropes, and hits a shoulder block to the small of Palumbo's back. Palumbo sells it well, so Luger does it again, then does a sloppy suplex that leads to a near pinfall. Cross-corner whip by Luger, but he gets hit with a Palumbo elbow on the charge-in. Luger sells the move all right, along with the next four blows to the head. Cross-ring whip by Palumbo gets reversed into a scoopslam by Luger. Pose-down time, and then Luger signals it's time for the Torture Rack. He takes FORTY FIVE seconds to get the point across to the crowd, who's just giving him pure hell for it. Luger goes to Palumbo, reaches down...
...and gets rolled right up into a small package! The crowd's on it's feet and going crazy as referee Charles Robinson does a quick three count to put us all out of Luger's misery. Tenay's hollering that that has to be the biggest win in the singles career of Chuck Palumbo.
Post-match, an enraged Luger hammers Palumbo with a forearm smash, then Racks him up. Mr. Timekeeper's just beating the hell out of the ring bell, as Charles Robinson's trying to break it up, and just barely avoids getting clobbered by Palumbo's boot every time Luger turns around. Luger dumps Palumbo on the mat as Sean O'Haire charges into the ring. A Luger swung fist gets ducked by O'Haire, who proceeds to do some heavy bag sparring with Luger as the bag. O'Haire does a cross-ring whip, then sets up for something devastating, but Buff Bagwell comes out to save Luger from Awful Danger by yanking him out of the ring. As Bagwell drags him up the ramp, Luger looks like he's just failed his local Crips chapter's initiation rites.
Y'know, for all his glacial work-rate and abominably bungled "sells", Luger did indeed serve a purpose here.
He just jobbed to Chuck Palumbo.
So there MUST be a place for him in God's Grand Design!
Sean O'Haire, (who's apparently staring off into space and not looking at Mr. Cameraman) tells Luger and Bagwell that he's gonna spend the next five days dreaming up nasty stuff to do to them. "Be afraid! Be VERY afraid!"
Backstage, Animal and the Rick Steiner are searching for Hugh Morrus.
Hey, there's a door that says "WCW" on it.
Must be the dressing room!
"Morrus! Morrus! Come out and pla-a-a-yy!" says Animal, as he and the DFG walk through the door...
...that gets slammed and locked behind them by Hugh Morrus, who's giggling fit to bust. Much pounding and enraged hollering from within, as Mr. Morrus heads for the ring.
Uh, y'all think that a deadbolt is REALLY gonna hold those two behemoths?
Scott Steiner heads for the ring.
He's carrying more stuff than Leonard in "Redneck Rampage."
During the end game.
Match #7: Scott Steiner d. Hugh Morrus, ("Steiner Recliner"/submission, 4:36)
Morrus hits the ramp first off, and boy, does he have his "game face" on!
Sign in the crowd " When the Thunder Rolls!"
Footage from earlier tonight shows Rick Steiner blindsiding Hugh Morrus.
Sirens wail, and out comes Scott Steiner. He obviously doesn't know that Animal and Rick Steiner's "search & destroy" mission has hit an unexpected snag.
Sign in the crowd: "Little Poppa Pump" with a cut-out for somebody's toddler's head to poke through. Cute idea!
Steiner doesn't waste any time getting started, and begins pummeling Morrus unmercifully. Schiavone says that Da Champ wants to run right over Hugh Morrus. After backing him into a corner, Steiner pounds and kicks at Morrus, then hits a succession of back-handed chops to the throat, alternating with forearm smashes across Morrus' neck. Steiner takes time out to holler something disgusting to some fan at ringside. This gives Morrus time to recover, so that a cross-corner whip by Steiner ends up with a big elbow smash from Morrus. He tosses Steiner into the corner, starts chopping the tree down, then goes up top for the Ten-Count Punch-Down, with the crowd hollering the number of shots to Steiner's head. Steiner absorbs all ten shots, then powerslams Morrus to the mat. Morrus sells the slam well, doing a slow feet-in-the-air rollover (with plenty of hang time) to a face-down position. Boot to the head by Steiner, and a cross-ring whip into a clothesline that hammers Morrus to the mat. "Kiss the Bicep" elbow drop, and a quick warm-up set of push-ups by Steiner. Pose-down time, that gets interrupted by Steiner lunging through the ropes at some fan who's hollered some insult at him. Tenay says it's obvious that Flair and Co. want Steiner not to become too focused on Hugh Morrus; that he should be looking down the road to the "Greed" PPV, and his match with DDP. Two Big Boots from Steiner prevent Morrus from rising. Steiner then tosses Morrus through the ropes and goes outside. Morrus gets slammed into the steel guardrail by Steiner, then gets tossed back in. Steiner pauses to bellow, "No, your MOTHER sucks!" in response to some fan's insult, before climbing back into the ring. Morrus gets to his hands and knees, but Steiner smashes him across the back with a double axehandle. Cross-the-knee backbreaker from Steiner, and a lateral press that Morrus kicks out of. Steiner's over intimidating referee Billy Silverman about the supposedly slow count, then tosses Morrus though the ropes on the far side of the ring. After basking in the heel heat for a bit, Steiner goes outside. However, his whip into the steel guardrail gets reversed by Morrus, and Steiner catches said guardrail in the small of his back. Morrus is on a roll, as he picks Steiner up and hot-shots his neck across the steel guardrail. Morrus slams Steiner's noggin into the steel ring steps. Down comes the right side singlet strap, and Morrus moves in for the kill, and tosses Steiner back into the ring. Morrus advances on Steiner, but runs into a jaw-jacker that drops him to his jnees. Forearm smash by Steiner, who hollers at Morrus to "Get up!" Morrus complies, but Steiner's running clothesline misses, and Morrus hits a massive powerslam on the rebound, covers and gets within a half a count of winning the bout. Cross-ring whip by Morrus, who nails Steiner right in the face with a spinning heel kick! Morrus goes up top for the "No Laughing Matter", but Steiner yanks him off the turnbuckles, and Morrus lands hard on the back of his neck. Belly-to-belly suplex by Steiner dazes Morrus even further, as Steienr goes for a pin, but just misses it. More intimidation for the referee. Steiner then hits two forearm smashes on the small of Morrus' back, then cinches on a waistlock. Morrus breaks the waistlock with two elbow smashes to Steiner's noggin, then does the go-behind and hits a neat quick release German suplex. The crowd's sensing a possible upset here, as Morrus nails Steiner with an awesome top-rope flying elbow smash from half-way across the ring! WOW! Cover, 1,2...and a hal-l-l-l-f-f-f... NO! Steiner gets a shoulder up!
Backstage, Animal and Rick Steiner kick the locker room door off it's hinges, and get positively hasty ambling to the ring.
Morrus goes up top again. It's time for the "No Laughing Matter" again, but Steiner rolls away, and Morrus hits the canvas hard. Steiner's bleeding from the nose, as he picks up Morrus ( he weighs 325 lbs. remember?) and sets him on the top turnbuckle. Three Big Right Hands to the face, and a top-rope belly-to-belly suplex! Steiner's bleeding pretty heavily, as he signals for the Steiner Recliner, and locks the unconscious Morrus into it. Referee Billy Silverman check Morrus for signs of life once, twice, thrice, then calls for the bell.
Post-match, Rick Stiener shows up, lead pipe in tow. Scott gets the microphone, and bellows for DDP to get his ass out there. Otherwise, he will break Morrus' leg.
DDP comes out.
"So kill him, Steiner!"
DDP gestures like "What are you waiting for?"
Scott Steiner stops, momentarily stunned by DDP's callousness.
"Go ahead. Kill him! Then I'm gonna come down there and KILL YOU!"
Steiner bellows for DDP to come on down! They won't wait for "Greed"; they'll settle things right now! DDP swaggers to the ring, taunting Steiner, further enraging him. With a roar, Steiner leaps off the ring apron at DDP. Bad move, as DDP then does a speed-bag session on Scott's bloody nose. Rick Steiner blindsides DDP, then tosses him into the ring. Rick Steiner stands DDP up for Scott Steiner's lead pipe smash. DDP ducks the lead pipe, which almost catches Rick Steiner right in the mouth.
DDP submarines under the far ropes, collects Hugh Morrus, (remember him?) and a microphone and vaults over the steel guardrail and into the crowd.
About fifteen rows up the aisle, he turns around.
"Hey Steiner! I'M STILL STANDING! BANG!!"
The crowd around DDP, (including Hugh Morrus) does the "Diamond Cutter" sign.
Scott Steiner, bloody nose and all, is incoherent with rage, frothing at the mouth, and bellowing for DDP to get back in the ring!
Da Champ is ready to take BIG bites out of the steel ring-post, something I'd really like to see...
Oops, too late!
A good show for the third straight week.
I am impressed.
WCW hasn't wasted any time promo-ing the "Greed" PPV, and channeling the story arcs and current angles towards that end. Good to see Sean O'Haire's push to the top card getting started, thanks to Buff Bagwell.
Best match of the night has to be the Jeff Jarrett/Crowbar contest, followed closely by Kwee-Wee/Kaz Hayashi. Kudos this week to the Boogie Knights for putting AJ Styles and Air Paris on the map, and to (believe it or not) LEX LUGER for furthering Chuck Palumbo's career. He may work slower than an arthritic snail with asthma, but he's still a "name' veteran, and the match did close one of the old story arcs from the "Reset" days.
Dud match dishonors got to the Shawn Stasiak/Big Vito fiasco. Stasiak is fast becoming a career-killer in his own right, since his workrate shows his heart's not into what he's doing. Kudos to Big Vito for doing the job to advance a career that basically is going nowhere. You ROCK, sir!
Kudos to Shane Douglas for a well-crafted "shoot interview" segment. Douglas made it abundantly clear that CEO Ric Flair may have other ghosts from his past to deal with than just Dusty Rhodes.
And finally, a BIG KUDOS to WCW booking for giving us something that is rarely seen in these days of "Sports Entertainment."
One ENTIRE show with nothing but clean finishes!
Yep, that's right, not one screwjob ending, despite there being only 34 minutes and 36 seconds of actual in-ring action!
Amazing what you can do if you try, isn't it?
Se you next week.
Mail the Author
Comment about this article on the EZBoard